I disagree with rSlash’s assessment of the second story. I don’t really care what a wedding is supposed to be; OP’s brother did something to make his wedding about him, and OP was just supposed to deal with it. Well, if that’s the standard for him, then it’s only fair OP can do the same thing. Plus, as other commenters pointed out, if OP’s brother’s wife said yes to the initial proposal, then I think she’s just as guilty as the brother. Ergo, I think they both had it coming.
its just saying "be the bigger person" but with more words, it's not a necessity to be the bigger person and He had it coming . Hehehe for the way that the grandmother reacted to the mother trying to call out Op, the family is very aware of her favoritism.
@@dinlupus3196I rolled my eyes when I heard the long and drawn out thing from Rslash about it and was just thinking "tell us you're one of those be the bigger person dipwads without saying it" turnabout is fair play and rightfully so.
Let's consider that fiancee/bride. There's three broad category reactions - her making a big deal and being equally as loud about her engagement, her saying yes and trying to downplay it because saying no or anything else would cause more drama and more distraction, and her getting POed at her fiancee later for causing a scene. You say she should have said no as if that wouldn't have caused MORE wedding drama and taken the night away from the bride? Nah. I think it's safe to presume she did one of those three things. That means, there's a 2/3rds chance that she was a relative innocent. Since OP doesn't say a single thing about the bride/fiancee doing anything and that would help make her case even more it seems likely she either was "yes, thanks, did you see the CURRENT BRIDE by the way?" or she tight-lip smiled or any other non-major reaction.
2nd story, if the bride said yes to a proposal at a wedding then she deserved it. She should have said it wasn't ok to propose at a wedding and that it really wasn't the time or place. Her saying yes to that proposal makes announcing a pregnancy at her wedding fair game.
But how can we know she did? So many proposals involve the woman being in the dark. It could have been a.surprise & she was happy and said yes because she was so surprised. In her place, I wouldnt be mad about the announcement but if it wasn't her plan at all to be proposed to at a wedding then she might think "damn, at least I didn't mean to do that, but they specifically planned it to be rude. His brother is an ass". I don't think two assholes make one good person or something. I think reddit often forgets revenge doesn't happen in a vacuum & I doubt those brothers will have a good relationship. At the very least the bride might feel resentful. I don't think family who takes revenge on each other is a good family to have around. It seems like the whole family is like that, OP included. After all, after that wedding thing WHY did he choose revenge instead going Low/No contact? Because he is made from the same cloth
Story 2: Disagree with the brother's wife being a poor victim, she was at least complicit in being proposed to at OP's wedding since she accepted it, and sure "pressure of public proposals" but OP doesn't mention his FSIL apologizing for stealing the spotlight, so frankly I say it's fair game. Mother is the biggest AH for blatantly favoring her precious boy, so she can sit and spin.
he also didn't mention his OWN wife, so clearly the women weren't even on his mind to begin with. it's all about his pissing contest with his brother and making his mommy upset. so yeah, fuck you for jumping to conclusions
Especially with Grandma saying what she did, it's OBVIOUS who the golden child is. I'd wager that this isn't the first time the brother has hijacked something from OP.
Who became the a-hole the moment he accepted a family trip and decided that his step kids weren't family. She needs a lesson in geography . But she's not wrong in the idea that it should be a family trip. When you marry someone with kids. Those kids become part of your family. He wants to live the happy child-free life. That's wrong
@@melodyharpole8272 He earned the trip, he decides who get to enjoy it. Case and point. Also, where does he says he doesn't consider his Step daugther family ? Tell me, would you have reacted the same if he said "Actually, I wanted to offer the trip to my parents so they get to enjoy themselves too" or not ?
@@melodyharpole8272 he didn't acsepted a family trip tho, he wanted a couples getaway she wanted a family trip. I think you are jumping when youbsay he doesn't see the stepdaughter as family
@@melodyharpole8272 No, he could decide to pack up 4 hobos off the street and take them raving in Florida, that's HIS call. Why? Because HE has earned it. Him proposing it to his wife is not a given, this is a gift from him. There are stuff that, in a marriage SHOULD be shared, some that MUST and some that CAN. It is a "should", but not a "must".
True. But she doesn’t seem like to kind of person to believe in toxic masculinity anyways since she clearly promotes it sooo hard and seemingly grew up around it as well.
@@allisoncastle Totally. Her actions show she doesn't believe it at all. That might still not stop her from being a hypocrite though, by trying to use it to get her way when convenient, making mockery of the concept in the process. But that would be another story.
@@michaelkollars663Welcome to the patriarchy and it’s messed up standards for men and women (though especially women) alike! Brothers, we aren’t free either.
I mean, they actually do. A lot of racist folks very clearly have some insecurities regarding their appearance. (Sometimes rightfully so, because have you seen racist politicians?)
Most likely the mom already had her favourite long before the brother did his thing at OP’s wedding and was super good at hiding it and neither the brother or mom have a shred of love for OP
I can't even call OP an asshole for giving her brother and mother a dose of their own meds, tbh! 😂 If anything, I think it's warranted, and I especially appreciate that the grandmother backed her up on this! "Don't you be telling her off about shenanigans like this when you enabled your son to do stunts like this at HER wedding!"
Story 2: OP is NTA OP's brother stole the spotlight during OP's wedding, so he has no right to complain when OP steals the spotlight at the brother's wedding. Its the classic "What goes around comes around."
Turnabout is fair play. Obviously the fiancee didn't see a problem with it, or she'd have tried to apologize (tbf, all we have to go on is OP's word, so maybe she did: but per the info we have she didn't). At that point, I see nothing wrong with returning the favor. Sure, taking the high road is nice, but I get the feeling this isn't the only incident like this in OPs life.
I wonder when "two wrongs don't make a right" stopped being a thing people care about. Doing something assholish because someone else did the same thing justifies it, but doesn't make it okay. That's why the subreddit has the "ESH" option.
Story 2: Gotta disagree rslash - what's good for one is good for the other. If the brother can't take it, he shouldn't dish it out. If the brother had not done anything to warrant OP doing this, then yes, he would be TA. But not here.
@@suspishfishy Negative? That was literally what happened. The girl didn't want a commitment but he wasn't allowed to move on. Presumably she wanted him at her beck and call. The only part I disagree with is whether she'd ever eventually settle down with him.
There’s an update in the last story: I will update in the first part and clarify some things later After my post I talked to Miles. At first he was kind of mad and thought I had been blowing things out of proportion. Some more details are in my last post. We came to the conclusion of taking more distance while he figures that all out. Mainly because I did not want the added stress of petty drama. Then I talked to my parents and explained to them, what was going on. They were really upset by how Lindy treated me. Like obviously they weren't going to get involved , but it was nice to get that of my chest. Then nothing else happened. Until Tuesday evening. Wednesday was a holiday so some of my friends took the opportunity to go to an Irish pub to do karaoke. At some point my best friend and I went to pee and touch up our make up. Then Lindy and some of her friends walked in and kind of cornered us. It wasn't pretty. They stared loudly talking about "man sealing bitches" and how some women were just born to be homewreckers. And imagine being pathetic enough to pretend to be a guy's friend to fuck him and how pick me's are the worst. They kept kind of edging us physically into the part where the hand dryers were while pretending we were not there. Until my best friend had enough and just pushed trough them wile drawing me behind her. We were almost at our table when Lindy went right behind me and pulled my her so that I feel backwards onto like a metallic peace where you are supposed to put your feet on. It hurt so bad that I started to see white. And then a girl next to Lindy poured beer on me. I can not really tell you what happened, but there was a scuffle and somone dropped one of those heavy pint glasses on my head. The Lindies were taken away by police and I was taken to the hospital. My parents were furious as were Miles parents. They both came to the hospital. I was severely concussed, my nose was factured and the worst thing is that I have a hairline fracture in my back. I stayed in the hospital till yesterday morning. Miles did try calling me a bunch. According to my parents, they told him to not visit me right now. I did get a official notice saying that apparently there was now a legal case open against Lindy and one other girl for not only assault but also public disturbance in the bar. So now I'll have to deal with all that legally. I finally talked to Miles. And long story short. Those of you saying Lindy was isolating him was a sign of an abusive relationship was right. He told me all the things she said to him to make him feel awful. She would freak out about anything in her live and take that out on him. She would scratch him and bite him when she was mad. Our talk ended with both of us crying and apologizing. We will be closer again. At least so we can talk about these things more often. He broke up with her and is hiding at my parents house. So that is it for now.
My original thought for this story was that Miles had a crush on OP since he got that upset that she didn’t come to his party. Now I think he got mad as that would have been someone to “save” him from his girlfriend.
Wow. I wanted at first to give Lindy a little slack, only a little, since it seemed like OPs and Miles parents give off a notion that they want OP and Miles to marry. They call each other family and they still have that photo on display when I’m sure there are milestone pictures they can display and put that one in an album instead. But any redemption I thought Lindy could get went out the window the moment she and her harpies made a scene at the pub. I hate that it took OP getting assaulted for Miles to get the hint that Lindy isn’t gf material
Breakup: Crying/Screaming leg over having your leg broken for the first time is a natural reaction, like that's a lot of pain, how is anyone who has never had a broken bone before supposed to not cry through that aside from emotionless "robots"? Not only did the ex break up with OP for having a natural reaction to a broken leg, but then proceeded to lie about the reason, which means she absolutely knew that what she did was bad. I hope OP finds someone better, someone that would support OP whenever he experiences terrible emotional or physical pain
Birth announcement story: I’m so happy that it just happened to work out for OP to be able to pay his brother AND his bride back. He proposed at OP’s wedding AFTER being told not to. AND THE BRIDE ACCEPTED! Big mistake on both of their parts. Good for you OP! Zero score on the AH chart.
4th story: It's ok for the woman to be extremely rude & even racist because she's insecure in herself? And what would ceaseless comments like that do to a man? Maybe make him insecure? And he's not allowed to respond the same way? "Rules for thee, but not for me." I'd walk away from that whole group of people.
And there is also a huge difference in being insecure with yourself and trying to sabotage a friends relationship. If she says things like that to OPs gf around him, who knows what she said and did when he wasn’t around. I also bet she uses what he said to push the thought more into her head.
Exactly. Imagine thinking that being insecure excuses racism. Like wtf? Can we maybe NOT excuse racism? That's just cringe as fuck. Like, for real, that girl DESERVES to be ALONE. :/
Story 5: Crying doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. To quote the Mayor from an episode of the original Powerpuff Girls when Miss Bellum was taken hostage, "Strong men also cry. Strong men...also cry."
This may just be my opinion, but personally I think a man who can face and express his own emotions and be open enough to cry is BEYOND strong. People who say "Real men don't cry" probably never met a real man.
@@gasriel3066 it's absolutely heartbreaking. But there's an underlying bittersweetness there because it speaks volumes to just how much that man loved his child.
@@gasriel3066 I don’t think you could pick a better role model than Iroh. Written excellently, full of wisdom, and unafraid to show the hurt he has been through and learned from. “Leaves from the vine Falling so slow Like fragile, tiny shells Drifting in the foam Little soldier boy Come marching home Brave soldier boy Come marching home.”
if men weren't destined to cry they won't have a tear sac. im pretty sure that she wants a sociopath or someone who got their amygdala removed. how she even pretend to find out a "real man" if the thing that make her broke up was crying for having BROKE a leg, what does she pretends to do, to go around breaking guys legs until she finds someone who don't cry because of it?
story 2: you are wrong Rslash. The SIL clearly said yes, so she is just as guilty. If she respected OP and her wedding day, she would have said no to the brother, or at least said that this wasn't the time or place for such things. But she clearly said yes, making her just as guilty as the brother.
Seriously…I could see giving the brother a bigger score than the girl he proposed to, but treating her like she’s got no accountability ain’t it. Unless being a women automatically makes her more passive and innocent…/s 🙄
Story 3: I say stop talking to Amy all together, she told you she wants nothing serious, but then gets mad as if you cheated on her. I can’t stand people get mad because they want a safety net and think they can keep people waiting for them like that. Savings accounts are safety., insurance is a safety net, people are not safety nets.
As a feminist, the story with the broken leg really pissed me off! I can't stand it when people, especially other women, reinforce that kind of toxic masculinity! Guys, you should all be free to cry when you need to, and I'm sorry that conventional society tries to force you not to do that. You deserve way better! 💖
Right, Like. What's even more wild to me is the fact that OP might have been talking about his femur bone, Which if you don't know is both the largest bone in the human body and *also* the most painful one to break. No idea if that's what OP was actually talking about breaking, But if he was...Yeah, ANYbody would be crying
2nd story : NTA. The wife of OP's brother is the one the latest proposed to. Therefore, she's also guilty for the stunt if she didn't react negatively to his proposal (not in, refusing, but in telling him you don't do that at others' wedding)
We don’t know that she didn’t. Like proposing at a wedding is definitely in poor taste, but his brother might have also been chewed out later by the fiancé. She should have apologized to OP, but also, maybe she did and he just didn’t mention it. I don’t know, just hoping to give her the benefit of the doubt. That’s not to say that he wasn’t justified in clapping back at his brother, but I feel bad for both wives in the situation.
The final story has a crazy update if you look it up, I'll summarize to the best i can. First off, Miles and op talked and they agreed to distance themselves for the time being. Op talked to her parents about what happened and they're on her side about it without getting involved. A few days later Op decided to go to a bar with some friends on a holiday. Lindy and her friends came to the bar and confronted op about while calling her a pick me and a homewrecker. Lindy eventually pulled op's hair and she fell backwards onto metal piece where you put your feet. One of Lindy's friends poured beer on op before dropping a pint glass on her face. Lindy and her friend got taken away by the cops and op was taken to the hospital. Op got a concussion, a fractured nose and had a hairline fracture. Op's parents and miles's parents were pissed. Lindy and her friend now have legal problems. Op and Miles eventually talked again and Miles came to the conclusion that Lindy was manipulating him by isolating him so he decided to break up with her and Op and Miles are friends again Sorry if this is very summarized I'd recommend you see the post yourself
Totally. I went through something similar with a lady who had one point with a friend of the family. She loved to do dangle her then-minor children in front of anyone foolish enough to give her attention while soliciting monetary “favors” which she refused to ever admit were handouts and often refused to ever return those favors. I remember, towards the end of our friendship, it was around tax time and I had gotten a substantial refund. I made the mistake of letting it slip the size of my refund. I knew as soon as the words had left my mouth, that I had screwed up. I could almost see her eyes light up and see her smug devious smirk over the phone. I thought that was it, until the next time we spoke which was only a few days later. Apparently, she had told her children that their Uncle (me, I'm not their uncle and she had a habit of ascribing these familial nicknames to any person she was even remotely connected to) that I had promised to buy them a trip to a theme park. Adding some emotional blackmail and mental manipulation to the equation, she pulled this stunt, no doubt, because her youngest’s birthday was in the springtime right after tax refund season. Her husband was often on the road working and he came home right after their son's birthday. I told him everything and apparently they had a blowout fight. He called me up directly and apologized profusely and said that his wife was always doing these kinds of things: obligating friends or family by making promises in their names, often trying to manipulate them by bringing their children into it. It turned out, which I was not aware of, she had done this so often she had exhausted every single relationship she had and had very few, if any, friends left. Naturally, after everything boiled over, my now-former friend in a feeble attempt to get the last word, wrote a series of nasty, shouty, grammatically incorrect, typo-filled private messages. I only saw the first one before blocking her which was: “Because of you, my husband and I had a fight. I hope you're happy.” It was a typical response from her as she never could take accountability for her actions or see that she was the orchestrator, and the root cause, of all of the drama in her life. We’re not friends anymore.
Saw in another comment that there was an update. Wife hijacked the trip by giving OP's ticket to her best friend bc he wouldn't budge on taking his step daughter and MIL
OP is NTA is the wedding story, yes he caught the bride in his revenge but so what? His wife was caught in OP's brother's shitty proposal with blessings from their own mom. Feel bad for both brides but if someone proposed to me at someone else's wedding I wouldn't be elated, I'd be wondering wtf is wrong with my partner that would possess them to propose to me on someone else's special day. It feels like a cop out to planning your own special day to propose.
@@stepbro9042"getting revenge" on the brother ruined SIL's special day. If OP was so angry about his wedding getting ruined, why didnt he stop to think about SIL's feelings? There's more than one person involved.
Story 4: What an insufferable person, like not only was the friend racist, but was even trying to get OP's GF to cheat on him with a black man. That's not okay. She needs to drop the mentality
2nd story: It’s not fair to give OP an AITA score for expecting him to be the bigger person when all he was doing was returning fire; if the brother can propose at his wedding, he can announce a pregnancy at the brother’s wedding. Yeah the brides were caught in the crossfire, but that is 100% the brother’s fault. Not OP’s. Mom definitely deserves a score though for the blatant hypocrisy by calling out the pregnancy announcement but not the proposal.
I'll be honest: At least she showed her colors now, rather than later. Can you imagine if their relationship continued because this hadn't happened, and OP got cancer or something years down the line?
The breakup story is beautiful because in the end she wasn’t strong enough to face other people knowing what kind of person she is. It’s very odd she felt OP being “weak” by committing the faux pas of feeling pain when he broke his legs and fell down the stairs(lmao is that a joke tho like, seriously??) was a reasonable reason to break up with him, but she must’ve known that her justification was cruel because she told her friends a different story.
Quite honestly the trash took herself out. I can't imagine breaking up with somebody because they broke their leg and they're in pain and they're crying. I wouldn't even tell anybody about the fact that they were crying. That's private medical information and it's not for me to share.
Story 1: NTA. Accidentally? No way, I think she purposely told the daughter so they she can use it to guilt trip OP into agreeing with them. His trip, his rules. I'd say bring your friends for this trip instead OP, your wife is selfish and has that "what's yours is mine" mindset.
No. theyre married. He used THEIR money for the hobby of buying raffle tickets. Notice how he says HER daughter at the start? yeah hes an asshole for that alone and makes me think he doesnt actually see her as family. Wife is an asshole for telling the daughter as a manipulation tactic, but lets not act like they arent MARRIED and share finances. If they didnt, OP would have said so in their post. It is both of their trips. Frankly, i think OP is selfish for othering his stepdaughter. Its not HIS daughter even if he chose to marry her mom.
2nd story: OP's brother's bride is not innocent at all. If someone proposed to me at someone else's wedding I wouldn't say yes. I would say "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do this at a wedding, you idiot?" I might actually break up with someone for being so selfish that you think that's okay. The bride was fine with being proposed to at a wedding. So she can see how something like that felt for OP's wife during their wedding.
Getting proposed at a wedding would feel like a slap in the face. I would be so pissed, “out of all of the places me and my significant other have been to they chose this place???” the fact that she wasn’t angry makes her the butt hole
It depends The brother sounds like the kind of person who would lie to his wife about it but until we get confirmation he did I would say the ops is in the clear.
@@unknowngamer37415 If she genuinely believed that OP was okay with the proposal happening at his wedding. Then the bride should consider this a debt repaid. So, regardless, she has nothing to complain about here.
Story 4: Nobody who behaves like that has any grounds to complain about being snapped back at. Period. Especially when she's being such a disgusting racist.
The last story has an update. Lindey and her friends attacked OP in a bar. Miles broke up with her and there’s legal repercussions to what Lindey did. Also turns out Lindey was abusing Miles.
If my boyfriend proposed to me at the wedding of someone else, making it a big deal and making it very apparent that bride and/or groom are not into it, not part of it (like the bride handing me her flowers and bf coming out of nowhere or something, because that's actually cute) than I would absolutely tear my bf a new a**hole and say no.
In an update OP brought up that his wife was encouraged by a friend of hers that nots fond of him to hijack the trip. OP decided not to go and his wife, stepdaughter, MIL, and the friend went instead. While in their mind they may have thought they won, I think the reality of the distance where the prize of the trip and where they wanted to go hit them hard.
Story 1: accident or not She was quick to use her daughter excitement as a manipulation tactic. You would think someone who did it by accident and was an apologetic would know not to mention the daughter’s excitement in the argument, because that be a dead giveaway it wasn’t on accident, but I got your wife just saw an opportunity. Also, how come this trip that you won, which should only include her family, what about any of your family or friends? Maybe one of your friends would like to come on the trip and haven’t been anywhere either. Also, I love how your wife is acting like she want to do something really nice for her mom right after volunteering her to watch her kids so they can go out. It’s your ticket your why can’t make you do anything if she’s had to eat crap because she may promise that she can’t keep that’s her fault.
Story 5, NTA op's girlfriend showed her true colors "I can't get the image of you crying on the stairs out of my head, and I don't see you as a real man anymore" what does op even respond with "oh i am SO sorry that i broke my leg" op dodged a bullet if she wasn't there for him to recover if the situation were reversed and OP said the exact same thing he would've been made out to be the ahole, she sounds insensitive and uncaring for her injured partner
What's the famous phrase? "When people tell you who they REALLY are, believe them". A couple of months of pain prevented a lifetime full of pain from that unfeeling lying sociopath.
Should see him when it comes to age gaps between consenting adults. If the guy is older we never hear the end of it or if the woman is older like today the silence is deafening
It’s pretty basic respect that you do not make major family announcements at weddings, birthdays, funerals, and baby showers. Doing so means you’re incredibly selfish and ruining an already important event.
Yes, and? So, you're saying OP IS the a-hole? Even though they're just doing what the brother did right back? Even though no one in the family sees the hypocrisy? Seems like that whole family can get bent, honestly.
Uhm, what about a family of relative that's supposed to come to the wedding got massacred? 🤔Or any family related near death or death emergency coinciding with the wedding? 🤔 Or complete strangers needing to escape a mafia or yakuza or cartel group by hiding into the wedding event? Or screw them, wedding is more important than people's lives? 🤔🤔🤔
*First OP:* OP's wife "accidentally let it slip" to her daughter that OP won a free vacation. _Sure_ she did. It wasn't manipulative at all. 🙄 OP is NTA. *Second OP:* I wonder who OP's mom's favorite is. 🤔. Considering the context, OP is NTA. Shoutout to OP's grandmother for shutting down his mom. I can understand rSlash's point, but I'm gonna stick with my verdict. *Third OP:* As OP said, he was single so he can do whatever and whomever he wants (within reason). I wonder if Amy was more upset by how quickly OP moved on, or that he moved on with her friend. Either way, OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* OP and his girlfriend's friend made stereotypes about white and black dudes. I'm gonna say ESH, and it's not at all because I'm an 18-20 in pants. 😛 *Fifth OP:* OP's ex could break up with OP for any reason, but the fact that she chose to _lie_ about the circumstances of their breakup tells me that she knew she'd look bad if she told the truth. OP is NTA for telling the truth. Also, lol at OP's 26-year-old ex telling a 19-year-old he was acting like a "real man" for crying _after he broke his leg from falling down the stairs!_ *Sixth OP:* I'm frustrated for OP. She explained to Miles how Lindy was treating her; Miles waved it off; then Miles _and Lindy's punk a$$_ are mad at OP for not showing up to his birthday party?! OP could've explained to Miles _why_ she wasn't going, but still, OP is NTA.
@@KadeStringer2.0 Nah, OP did nothing wrong and he needs to be weary of the GF or break u with her, because the fact she didn't call out this bitch her self and is siding with her is very telling.
Sometimes I feel Dabney deliberately gives outrageous takes on these so lots of people would comment saying otherwise thus increasing the video engagement. Edit: I am making a general statement and not commenting on anything particular in this video.
There's a lot of that. But many (myself included) also noticed that whenever a wife / Mother and their kids are involved in a situation but aren't "actively" the butthole, they get a pass. But whenever a man is in the same situation, then suddenly he goes into "Insinuation mode" makes up a lot of assumptions as to why the dude is most likly a butthole too.
If you're talking about the marriage proposal story : Not really, he just goes double standard A LOT when it's about finding some guy's wrongdoings VS when it's a woman.
He probably knows it can cause debates because it gives his videos more attention. Some of his takes usually resulted in either people saying otherwise or ripping him apart. His takes are usually the fact that he glossed over some info, so that the commenters can correct him or agree with him.
2nd story: I love OP so much for this. 100% real. 100% valid. LOVE. HIM. I wouldn't have even gone to the brother's wedding for that but this is so much more petty and I am here for it. Oh. NTA btw. I can see your view of everything on this one Rslash, but I'm gonna let my bias take over here cause I love it.
Yeah I think that is the problem. She didn't see him as that young but seeing him crying on the stairs (not that there's anything wrong with that) has changed her opinion of him. Now she sees him as the kid he is compared to her and that's freaking her out.
I can see how it happened. She's 26, going to college and meets a hunky guy at that college in the same program she is in. She's not expecting him to be 19. probably comes off as 24 or so, at least 22. When she found out about him being just 19, that probably ikked her out a bit but she was already involved with him and it was going fine. Until she sees him lying on the ground crying. That drove home the idea that she was a grown ass woman dating a kid and she was understandably not ok with that anymore.
The thing is I could see the compromise of bringing the step daughter. But why would her mother be the closest person to him by her logic. This is still HIS trip. But she's really a jerk for telling her daughter, because she was trying to strong arm op into a decision .
How many times do I have to say it, DO NOT ANNOUNCE A PROPOSAL OR PROPOSE DURING ANY WEDDING EVENT AT ALL, Easter, Christmas, Valentine’s Day YESS ABSOLUTELY, weddings, baby showers, birthdays ABSOLUTELY NOOOOOOOOOT
Story 1 : NTA.. F that.. if im op just because the wife tried to strong-arm op into doing what she wants i would invite everyone else but her.. Story 2 :NTA.. it clear as day who the goldenchild is in op Story.. op just stop inviting the birthgiver and your "brother " to things anymore..nahhh the whole wedding proposal thing of op bro sounds like " i know hes gonna propose i know its wrong but its all about me".. Story 3 : NTA.. why hold yourself back when someone who's not that into you.. F amy.. Story 4 : NTA.. nahhh so the friend can insult op right to op face but op is not supposed to respond?? op GF "friend " encouraged cheating but op isnt supposed to respond?? Op needs to put his foot down and tell his GF " either you stop inviting it to gatherings or were done".. op gf " friend " gets 3 out of 5 a holes for being a racist piece of work.. op GF gets 2 out of 5 a hole for not shutting the " friend" down immediately or when op responds she wants him to apologize to the useless waste of air.. Story 5 : NTA.. stacy is a heartless cold monster.. good on op for setting the record straight and telling everyone who stacy really is and not letting her get away with BS..1.5 a hole for stacy ?? Really rslash?? Stacy deserves the full 5 🌟 a hole .. Story 6 : NTA.. why go somewhere your clearly not wanted.. op does need to tell miles everything though..so wait everyone is mad at op for op not allowing herself to be the punchingbag?? Op red flags here you may wanna start distancing yourself from this " family function" and family as a whole....
Story one: there was an update. OPs wife has been encouraged by a friend of her to hijack this vacation and kept pushing. OP wound not going and his wife, stepdaughter, the fiendish friend, and MIL went while he stayed home. He’s upset but doesn’t see this as grounds for divorce
Story 5:Talk when you slip on metal stairs and fracture your legs without any form of reaction whatsoever,*GF* NTA,It's not ok to break up with someone just for showing regular normal human reactions to pain of that level
Story 1 : ok the wife become the A-hole when she gets the kid involved that’s some manipulation right there Story 2 : op is half the A-hole she’s treating her brother, the same way she treated her she’s not the butt hole for that but she got the bride in the cross of fire who did nothing wrong who probably didn’t even know she was gonna get proposed to Story 3 : how can you get mad at someone for sleeping? With someone else when you’re not even in a relationship with them you’re just hooking up Story 5 : dude she broke up with you because you were crying in pain because you broke your leg and said you’re not masculine for that you had every right to tell them the real reason you saving other guys form her
I mean if the wife said yes to the proposal then I feel like she DID kind of deserve this. If that happened to me (proposed to at a wedding) I would be grossed out and probably take some sort of break with my partner.
wedding/pregnancy story: OP did just what his brother did, yeah sure there is two people coming together as one, but the guy and his wife is BRINGING a life into the world, thats more important then a wedding. Also, the mother priorities the brother more then OP, thats clearly in the text! So you are wrong rslash, sad to say. OP is NTA in that one!
One of the marriage vows if I remembering correctly is "through sickness and in health" OP falls down the stairs breaks his leg and she's like "see ya wouldn't want to be ya" bullet Dodge.
Coping mechanisms do not put other people down. Tell your girlfriend that you cope by defending yourself! And she has a problem with that and she is just as bad as our crappy friend. Who is racist by the way
Story 2: NTA. One of the biggest wedding no-no's is never propose at a wedding. Because it'll come back to bite you tenfold. Propose at my wedding, and I will announce my wife's pregnancy at yours. What goes around comes around. R-Slash, dude, no. No buttholes for OP. 2/5 for you. And also, his brother's wife is just as guilty. She agreed to the proposal at OP's wedding, so she doesn't get a pass.
So there's an update to the last story. Lindy was an abusive girlfriend, and OP skipping the party brought it all to light. Miles dumped her, and started hiding at OP's parents house. On top of that, Lindy and her friends found her at a bar, cornered her and her best friend in the bathroom before her best friend shoved them away and ran out. Then, in the middle of the pub/bar, Lindy yanks OP's hair, causing her to fall onto a metal piece on her back, fracturing it. She sees white for a bit, causing the rest to be a bit hazy, but then a pint glass falls on her face as well. She's taken to the hospital, and charges were pressed against Lindy and her friends after cops showed up.
2nd story - his wife isn’t even pregnant 🤣 🤣 🤣 And the final story has a WILD update:- Lindy assaulted op (concussion and fractured nose), then Miles reveals Lindy was abusing him all along. He broke up with her and is hiding out at op’s parents’ house.
ALL sexual partners owe their partners FULL DISCLOSURE on whether or not they have other partners. It is an ethical and public health question. That being said, OP #3's not-GF has no business getting angry that he is seeing other people.
Girlfriend who broke up with the guy over some tears is a shining example of why so many of us bottle our emotions up. It ends up being weaponized against us.
That last story, the OP made an update on best of redditor updates where apparently the GF attacked OP, dropped a glass beer mug on her face and pulled her hair and yanked OP to the ground causing several injuries, landing her in the hospital. OP is pressing charges against GF and one of GF's friends that also attacked as well as the bar this happened in. it also came to light she was being abusive to OP's friend in the relationship too.
Breakup: So...instead of OP, she'd rather have a "strong" (toxic masculine) "man" that has no other emotion except for rage. Bye, girl. Enjoy your future abusive string of relationships.
First story. Would he want a couples trip if the stepdaughter was his daughter? I think if she was his daughter and not step, he’d not even think of a couples trip. Story two. Way to go. Not the a-hole. Your brother could propose at your wedding, but you couldn’t announce your wife’s pregnancy at his? Glad you did it.
Story 4: some years ago a big sized woman posted a photo with the caption 'Sorry black guys, only white men can handle this' and a black guy answered 'on behalf of the black community, we wholehartedly support your decision' then it all spiraled with commets aroun the lines of 'on behalf of the white community' 'on behalf of the mexicans' the chinese, the muslims... funny af.
Floridian here who lives in Orlando. If the trip is for Fy.Myers it's completely unfeasible. It's an almost 2 hr drive one way. You cant do all she wants to do in a day so you're looking at 4 hrs a day of driving. I'd be pissed as well.
Story 4, yeah... The "just kidding" part was like when someone posts they want to commit a heinous crime against someone on Twitter, only to tack on "in Minecraft" as if it absolves them of being deranged.
13:00 I'm splitting hairs here. But the girl didn't break up with OP for having brittle bones. She broke up with him for not dealing with the pain "like a man" and basically grunt and shout guttural sounds to deal with the pain but NOT crying.
She's 26 and he's 19. This incident made her see him as a child and has her thinking of herself as a cradle robber (possibly justifiably). Not surprised she wants to nope right out of this situation. Though she certainly could have handled it better.
@@wingracer1614what are you talking about? HE!BROKE!HIS!LEG!! You gotta be one tough mf to not be crying after that. What is this cradle robber bs even mean? She ain’t much of an adult either so I don’t know what you mean by this
@@locusxe1411 None of that matters. She didn't break up with him because he broke his leg and cried. If he was 30, that probably wouldn't matter to her. What this incident made her realize is that she's dating a 19 year old student. She either did not know he was that young or knew but hadn't thought about it/processed it yet. Now she has and it freaked her out. That's my theory anyway.
In the second story the wife is also the a-hole. If my partner proposed to me at SOMEONE ELSE'S wedding, I would never even dream of accepting at that moment. That's someone else's moment
Especially Ft Meyers. I live about 45 minutes from there and been there MANY times. That is not a place to go on vacation, that's a place you need a vacation to get away from. I mean I could see a trip to Disney or Miami beach or something (not my choices for vacation but I could see it) but Ft Meyers? Seriously?
@@LoyalTako 50% of my dislike for Florida is that it's just too damn hot. I live in the northeast. It's too hot here in the summer these days. When I was a kid, a few days a year of 90 was newsworthy. Ironically, not wanting to have much to do with Florida, there are a few trips I would like to take. I would like to try and see NASA launch one of the SLS rockets for the Artemis program with my dad, and that would require a trip to Florida lol.
@@nomar5spaulding thing is it's not even the heat, you're feeling all that Florida humidity. I've been out in the Mojave before and you could still wear a jacket with the dry heat. Here you didn't even think of wearing pants with 70 and a high humidity you're going to be drenched in sweat
Story 6:Lindy's allowed to feel that way about OP,What she's not allowed to do is harass OP behind Miles's back and do unnecessary things due to her feelings,NTA
Gotta disagree with rSlash on the 2nd story - I agree weddings are supposed to be about the couple being married, but clearly OPs brother spit in the face at that and so why should the brother expect that same respect at his wedding? In my opinion, OP's brother had it coming, and especially so if the SIL accepted the proposal.
Then just don't go to the wedding. Two wrongs don't make a right. Did they deserve to have their wedding ruined? Probably but that doesn't make actually doing it the right thing to do.
Last story: OP was in a no-win situation. I think not going was the least-bad option. I snorted when Lindy said 'OP made it all about herself'. Projection much, Lindy?
and yet if someone were to call this out, people generally being dismissive towards females rather than males. "shes being insecure, pls try to understand" and "you are a man, why are you being insecure?"
Last story had an update: Turns out Lindsey was abusive towards Miles, attacked OP, and ended up in major trouble over it. Miles broke up with Lindsey and apologized to OP, revealing his own issues with her abuse.
@@allisoncastle I’m talking from personal experience and seen it I’m not saying all do but people need to stop being so sensitive over simple comments ohh he said something that’s generalized we have to get the pitchforks because we are woke crybabies
Story 2: I am going to put a pin in what R/ is saying because we don’t know if the wives are in on this or not. If they are then I say NTA, if they’re not or even try to stop it then ETA. I think we can all agree that mom is definitely the main problem, she clearly has a favorite. She’s a massive hypocrite, and she doesn’t get to be mad that her logic was thrown right back in her face. Even grandma must’ve known what was going on because Shisha her down instantly.
Yes we do, actually. We know she’s complicit because the wedding OP got his revenge at would have never happened if she said “no.” She accepted the proposal. She’s complicit.
I hate anyone who incorporates their private behind closed doors lifestyle to others without their consent. This lady is disgusting and needs to be taught that it is inappropriate to talk to everyone she sees about her s life
8:56 when bro said she was only an 18-20 i got sad cause i’m trying to loose weight and i’m currently down to a 22 pant size thinking i’m looking good since i’ve been loosing but now i know people think that’s still big 💀💀 humbled me real fast
For story 1 I 100% agree that op is NTA. Leaving that aside I do think its kind of weird that he keeps regering to his stepdaughter as his wife's daughter and not his. Its not like he barely knows her because he married her mom. If it were his biological child I bet he wouldnt leave her alone.
6th story: NTA. God forbid you don't want to be insulted and offended by a crazy woman, with huge insecurity problems. Godspeed Miles, if you don't see those huge red flags,well.. Good luck.
Look op nta but tbh if you married to someone with kid you can’t act like you are a couple without kids she act like a asshole but what if she just refused because op didn’t wanna take her daughter and op be like “fine I will go without you “I feeeeel like comment section would be different I’m just saying don’t expect her to not bring her child everywhere
I mean, plenty of couples goes on trips without dragging their kids along. It's called parent alone time and parents do deserve such occasions. The child can either get a long-term babysitter via family or hired help, or if they are old enough, stay home alone.
Jeez the gf who broke up with op over him CRYING over his BROKEN LEG? WTF that’s so gross. Everyone deserves to cry if they need it, especially if they get hurt.
I'm going to disagree with the first story. Why would OP want to go on a holiday with his wife and step-daughter? Leaving the step-daughter out feels selfish to me. There's no need to take the MIL though.
Why? She can't handle a weekend at grandma's, really? Grow up. You are as entitled as the wife. Husbands and wives deserve to go on intimate vacations once in a while, especially when the husband won a free trip.
florida/georgia resident here: fort myers is a LONG drive away from Orlando as in it feels longer than it is, and orlando is (like many cities) an hour away from itself. not to mention the extra traffic around all the parks your wife wants to see. if youre getting a trip to Ft.Myers, thats great and less frustrating and actually much more suitable for 2 couples to go. on a trip to ft myers, dont then go to orlando and the parks, youll be really frustrated. actually, the irony is Disney favors distant visitors anyway. you save ten Gs or so for a legit vacation there and youll get all the perks locals dont even get. while disney does this for the money, it is also accidentally fair. as a resident i hate to say every bit of this, but we can go for like an afternoon whenever so we arent as interested in most Disney has to offer, but as a long distance can only come rarely in your life kind of person, your needs and wants are much more economical for the parks. so my point is, her plan is a big ass sabotage to what she intends to do anyway.
Story 2: what is it with people giving OP an AH score? NAW! He did what we all would've done and OP's wife was in on the pregnancy stunt. NTA. 1 AH score for Dabney not respecting the petty revenge.
While I agree the trip is OP's to do what he wants to with it, a family trip would be pretty sweet unless the step-daughter is just a jerk or something... he married the mother but the daughter comes with the package. If I was the wife I'd let him take his adults only trip maybe he can take another couple and some other friend of his because I wouldn't leave my kid behind.
