2nd story info: Turns out the daughter didn’t ignore him. She told him she’d get the tool in a moment because she was in the middle of texting a classmate about HOMEWORK
Omfg that guy is even more pathetic than we thought Jesus- Like the normal response in this case would be "Then concentrate on your homework, I'll get it myself, don't worry !" Or something like that Like not only is he shameless enough to break his own child's phone, but then lies about why he did that ? What kind of monster is that ???
Last story: Conservative guy dates a tattooed girl in an act of rebellion against his parents, and is angry when his “rebellion” is actually embraced warmly. I worry for the girl that she is just a phase to him.
I don't think it was rebellion. I think he's the one who hates tattoos and just wanted her to be covered up. As someone who has conservative parents who absolutely HATE tattoos and piercings and who paint everyone who has them as thugs, they won't just suddenly turn around and be glad to get a tattoo. So it makes no sense that the mother would be so happy to get one, with the father being just as happy about it, if they were really the ones against tattoos.
I think the husband that stole $1,000 from his pregnant partner for massages (which this alone is a massive red flag to me) deserves far more than 2 out of 5 and I'm surprised Daddy Dabney didn't come out for this one because like, he also stole from his child - not just his wife - because his wants are far more important than his family's needs and that's super messed up. That is 5 out of 5 butthole behavior if you ask me.
Oh yeah... your partner sits on his ass for over a year while you support him. THEN he commits fraud and steals $1,000 that you were saving for your unborn child so he can get ridiculously expensive 'massages'? AND he whines that he's 'stressed' about your pregnancy so he deserves it? Hell no...
Yeah and frankly I fully agree with the sex worker and Dabney that, unless they live in Hollywood and he's going to a celebrity spa that requires reservations months in advance, it should not be costing him $250 a session. Either he is paying extra to have a "happy ending" or he's not getting a massage in the first place and just lied about going to a high end place so she wouldn't question what he actually needs the money for. Prostitute? Drugs? Gambling? MLM/pyramid/crypto scam?
Last story: I know exactly why OP thinks he is entitled to have a say over what his mother does with her body. It’s because he has a tattoo fetish and sexualizes tattoos. That’s why he’s with a hot young girl covered in them. That’s why he “warned” his gf to cover up. To him it’s like lingerie. So when his mom got a tattoo, he suddenly saw her sexualized, almost like his girlfriend had put her in a sexy outfit. He didn’t think it was appropriate and was weirded out by thinking about his mother being a sexual creature. Doesn’t make it right, any more than him telling his gf to cover up was right. He doesn’t have a say over what women do with their bodies. But since I have some insight as to what I think is going on here I thought I would share.
Others have theorized that OP was in rebellion, that OP didn't like tattoos. He was dating this girl like how teenagers go through phases trying out different things. When his parents didn't give him an angry lecture of how dare he be a person, OP got upset.
@@ahstiasummers5583 I read those comments and I disagree. If that were the case he wouldn’t be so upset his gf “didn’t get his permission” before inking his mother.
@@ahstiasummers5583 I think it’s this or he’s an absolute control freak. I don’t really think he’d be that mad if his mom got a tattoo if he saw them sexually I don’t think. I mean someone isn’t gonna be angry at their mom for wearing flip flops when they have a foot fetish.
Wait, your husband said HE just wants you to look pretty? Are we going to just ignore the fact that this man basically just implied that his wife isn't pretty? Also for the husband who took a $1000 from his wife, if the credit card is in the wife's name and not his, she can set it up to send her notifications each time it's used so she can approve or deny the purchase. Sure, that's a rather controlling move, but if the husband can't be trusted to make reasonable purchases, then that's his own fault.
Also, OP should dispute the charges and file a report with the police. I wish I had a link to the post, I would REALLY push OP to call the cops ASAP. Her shitsband is full of, well, shit, when he claimed "we're married so it's both of our money"... Nope, not in this case. If the credit card is solely in her name and he's not an authorized signer on it, being married doesn't override any of that. And I'm pretty sure he knows that, thus why he is pushing the "it's communal money" narrative. Because, if she realizes the truth, he will be in trouble. OP needs to get her ducks in a row, get those charges reversed (which will probably also get him banned from his happy end "spa"), and Lock. Her. Credit. Down. He is most likely already applying for additional cards in her name, if he doesn't have some already. He knows that if they're all in her name, he can avoid putting them in the divorce settlement, and by the time she finds out about them a year or two down the road, he'll be long gone.
If he were the one working and not her, I am pretty sure he would be throwing a fit if she were spending that much. Especially in their situation. I agree with the notifications. It at least keeps her knowledgeable of where the money is going. No different than being able to check your bank statement every couple days.
Definitely dispute the charges. I'm sure his super special masseuse will be thrilled to offer her favourite regular a repayment plan when a grand gets charged back.
"AITA for not carrying on the family tradition?" The answer is automatically no. I hate families that use family as an excuse to be abusive. It literally doesn't matter what the tradition is - it could be super wholesome - the answer is still no, OP. But to learn that the tradition is to join the military and risk your life? DEFINITELY no, OP. You are NTA for not wanting to join the military just because others in your family have. Who says you have to risk your life for a country or military you don't support? And even if you support both, then who says you have to risk your life just because other people you're related to have? That's a super dumb "tradition," honestly. I'm the first male on my dad's side of the family not to join the military in several generations. What did my dad have to say about that? Not that it matters, but he straight up told me not to join. He lived through Vietnam and didn't want to wish something like that on his own kid.
If they followed the family tradition correctly then you would have grown up in a world where you wanted to do that and carry on the family tradition. Instead of them always pressuring you into it
Your dad sounds like a real one. Meanwhile, OP's parents just lost their son and are all fired up to send his big sister off to die... why? It sounds awful.
My family always said don’t join the military because my cousin basically went crazy after a head injury from being in the military. I’m glad your dad didn’t force you into it.
@@suitov No, actually. "Don't join the military, and if there's ever a draft then I'll pay for your ticket to Canada" was really the only good thing that man ever said or did for me.
@@BubbleBunnyy No one can force you, at least not in America. If I was given an ultimatum between the military and being disowned, then I just would've left the family.
Story 2: There are a hundred other ways to address what the daughter was doing, yet he went straight to "destroy the phone". Pay up, husband. What an idiot
The dumbest part is that one of his reasons for hating the phone is that he was sure that she’d be irresponsible and break it!! Also, the daughter likely wasn’t ignoring him but was just very focused/lost in what she was doing. That kind of hyper focus can happen with ANY kind of activity.
Yeah I agree. And I’ll bet that even if OP does not get a divorce, which I honestly believe she should, the husband is going to be shocked when the daughter goes no contact with him.
First story: Every “excuse” the hubby used can be turned around right back to him. The wife was only giving advice and trying to encourage him to be better. Maybe she should have told him to get “enhancement” surgery for his short comings instead of a job?
she was encouraging him to get a job, there is nothing wrong in wanting her husband to be successful and working member of society who don't have to be ashamed and be keeping secrets in front of his closest family, she said it out of support and encouragement - even his mom tied to do the same.
Story 2: there are a lot of parents who use this "strategy?" By breaking things their children find happy, my cousin had a ps4 that he bought with his own money and my ex uncle broke it for something petty stating "everything in this house belongs to me and your mother" when he moved out 2 month later he sued him in small claims with recipes and got $500 (plus court fees)
Tattoo op absolutely sees tattoos as something sexual and definitely has a kink for them. He's not upset that mother dearest did something without his consent, he's upset because he can't get one up without thinking about mommy now
Exactly. He sees his gf as a novelty and a fetish, not a person. And he’s mad because a) conservative mom and dad aren’t fucking assholes and b) I his mother having a tattoo ruins his little thing he’s got going on,
I never understood people who found tattoos to be a kink. I have one, and hope to get more when I can afford it, and anyone else I know with them don't find it kinky. Maybe finding tattoos sexy, sure, but kinky is a weird word for it.
There is definitely some kink there. Whether it is the tattoos themselves, girlfriend the parents don't approve of, or something else. He decided on some asinine fantasy, the bubble popped, now he has to be all moody and upset.
As a girl with about 35k worth of tattoos the fact this immature asshole might look at me like that makes me shudder. I've met a lot of people who found them attractive, but none that pushed it into kink status
I’m 7 months pregnant and if I went to the store to buy things for my baby and found out my card was maxed out by my partner I’d be livid. If I found out it was because he was going to a “massage therapist” who he insists on seeing her specifically weekly? I’d be border line homicidal
I'm a new license massage therapist, and I don't ever do that kind of "service". I worked my ass off for my license/career. That POS deserves to be divorced.
Exactly! I was listening to this on Spotify and I was so enraged that I came all the way over to RU-vid to leave a comment. He deserved 5/5 buttholes in my opinion.
Right?!? He’s NOT going to be a good father either. OP should take responsibility, talk to a lawyer & follow their advice on how to protect the kid over the next few years. He’s obviously not going to willingly support his kid, he’s gonna dump that responsibility on her & “the village”.
I remember in the comments for the tattoo story someone suggested OP was actually hoping his parents would hate her tattoos so he could have an excuse to break up with her, but since they embraced her his plans were ruined. I feel like that's closer to the truth, and he knows now every time he sees that tat on his mom it's a reminder of her
First story: First guy was fired from his company for fighting with a co-worker. That, along with the fight he had with his wife, tells me he is a total jerk.
More like insecure POS. Seriously no balls at all. His family would have at least offered to let him borrow money to keep paying rent so his girlfriend wouldn't seem him living on easy mode.
I'm a massage student at this time. Depending on the length of the massage, it can range anywhere from $60 to $150. It really depends on the therapist themselves or the facility giving the treatment. It also depends on if they have add-ons like cupping, hydro or aroma therapy. There are also specialty treatments like wraps, watsu, or vichy hydraulic. If the establishment offers high-end services, then it's not impossible that he's spending $200 for a treatment. But even if he is telling the truth, there's no reason AT ALL that he needs services like that every week, especially if you guys are struggling. For full body, it's recommended that you don't do more than 2 hours of massage a week, many therapists would suggest that even two weeks to a month is a sufficient wait period. P.S. "Massage therapist" is the professional and preferred term for those of us that went to school and studied for it. "Masseuse" is the term used for those that offer "nightly" services. No licensed practitioner is called "masseuse."
Last story, I get the feeling OP was thinking of his girlfriend as a rebellion and/or as temporary. Like, “I’ll get with this wild tattooed girl for awhile then marry a nice girl (like my mom)”. Then when his parents approved it didn’t give him what he wanted. Now it turns out his mom is actually a little like the girlfriend. I’m also guessing that OP is thinking something like “now when I break up with her I’m going to have to think of her every time I see that tattoo on my mom!”. Overall, OP is a big gapping a-hole.
Heavily tattooed girl here, thinking almost the same thing!! I've been used as a token gf or just friend, and I was the asshole for talking about my job and being a writer etc, cause it didn't fit the agenda and made me look special... Wtf. So yeah, I think this guy is using her gf looks as somekind of rebellion to be the cool guy for a while
I kinda think that ops parents probably made him think that tattoos are terrible and that they didn't like them or made people look trashy and now are gaslighting him and he can't handle it mentally and should probably see a therapist. And stay away from his parents.
Agreed! Also it’s like when I was 7 and found out my mom wasn’t a virgin and had been tainted. It’s okay as a child and you don’t know where babies come from it’s another thing as an adult.
There are many factors that contribute to the cost of a massage; How long the therapist has been practicing and what they're certified in. It also matters the length of the session. A 1hour massage and a 2hour massage will be drastically different in price. As well if he's getting any extra tools used on him like hot stone/bamboo, getting ashiatsu instead of the typical swedish, myofascial work, cupping, rolfing, etc. All of these things cost more than the typical 60 minute swedish. And if they live in a big, major city, it'll also cost out the wazzooo. I'm a massage therapist in a small city in NC. My rates are $75, $105, and $140 for 1hr, 1.5hr, and 2hr respectively without using tools. I'm not saying it's impossible for him to be getting a "sexy" massage, but $250 isn't as bonkers as people think, especially if it's as luxurious of a spa as OP makes it sound. Not to mention most people tip 20% of the cost on top of everything else. Massage is just as expensive as chiropractic care, the only difference is that chiropractic care is covered under most insurance while massage therapy is not. Also, the vast majority of massage therapists prefer to be called massage therapists instead of massuse and hate having their spa/massage studio called a "massage parlor." Reason 1 is because most people hear massuse and automatically think "sex work/porn" because that's the term used in those videos. We do our best to distance ourselves from those stereotypes because it's incredibly harmful to our profession and our reputations. Reason 2 is because human trafficking is rampant in the massage world. Most of these "happy ending" places are using women and girls who have been trafficked into it. It's atrocious how often a massage location is busted for human trafficking. Please please please remember that massage therapists don't do their job because they like to touch people al day. We do our job because soft tissue work is just as important to your health as exercise and we recognize this. Please don't demean us.
This! And there are more fields that massage therapist cover (if they want to cover of course). I'm in NY and I think if it's medical massage then insurance can cover it but it depends on the company's protocol or something. I recently started working at a spa and want to do sports/medical massage (wish me luck with that!) and like you said, massage can be expensive, depending on where you live/work and what field you do.
I now get therapeutic massages every couple of months, they're two hour sessions, and it's around $200 bucks a pop. I also make sure to take a nice, thorough shower beforehand to be nice and clean for the therapist.
Last story: It kinda sounded like OP likes having a girlfriend that he thought his parents wouldn't have liked. Kinda like sorta rebelling, thinking that his parents would absolutely dislike his GF and enjoying it (example, someone dying their hair an unnatural color to rebel against their parents, something like that). That's just sort of the vibe I got off it. Mum's a grown woman, she can decide if she wants a tat or not. (But how cute did that sound when the mom said the flowers were for her family??! Ohmygawd ; u ;
@@JadeJuno agreed that isn't a very good way to respond but that does very much sound like what is going on here. Like OP had in their mind that their parents were going to hate their girlfriend and everything about how she was as in their head they had this all planned out. Then when their parents turned out to like her look and not have any issues with it they got mad because that isn't want they wanted. Not talking to your family because you are mad that your mom got a tattoo from your girlfriend was pretty much already in the acting like a 14 year old category.
I just can't get over the fact that a grown man went upstairs, pouting and hiding from adults he resents for not agreeing with him. I think I was past that stage of mental/emotional development when I was .. idk .. 15 yo? unreal
Also OP seems to not know his parents at all past that they are kinda conservative. Like did he ever probe about their thoughts on tattoos? Like I would understand if he was upset if they had always been hardcore against tattoos and he's upset that suddenly they liked it, but that's not what happened.
That's exactly what it sounds like. I have a bit of a similar scenario, my mom was originally staunchly against tattoos but my sister and are covered in them. Eventually she came to us and basically said that they weren't so bad and she wanted to get one. I was surprised at first given her previous views but very quickly got excited at her change of heartand ee all got one that is representational of the 3 of us. If she had gone "behind my back" (as OP put it) to get this, him being initially shocked is understandable but then you freaking get over it and get excited because this whole situation is going even better than you ever thought it could. This guy is acting absurdly possessive, controlling (the way he tried to make his gf walk around like a school marm to hide her ink) and throwing tantrums like that shitty "50 shades of Grey" character, like bro, you don't have rights to ANYONE else.
"How could you give me mom a tattoo without my permission" I literally laughed out loud. like WHAT? Why does your mom need her SONS permission to get a tattoo?
I think she should give him his money back and then sue him in the name of her daughter (because underaged) so he have to pay extra fine for property damage and to buy her a new phone obviously I think he was just jealous pos who feels physical harm if even his closest family have something better / is doing slightly better - there exists that kind of people, sadly.
2nd story: Since his money is his money, your money is your money. He can start buying/preparing his own meals. Keep all your hygiene/toiletry products put up so he can't use them. If a bulb burns out in a room he's in more than you are, wait for him to replace it. Laundry detergent costs money, don't wash his clothes. Dish soap costs money, make him wash his own dishes. Oh, but water also costs money, so if he wants to shower, shave, brush his teeth, or have clean clothes/dishes, remember to charge him for that usage. And, his precious tool; the one he needed so urgently but couldn't be bothered to get up and get, it'd be a shame if it happened to disappear. And if it kept disappearing every time he replaces it.
LOOOL, when OP’s husband in that first story said “i was just trying to make you better” She should have responded with “yeah, so am i, if you got a job you wouldn’t look like such a pathetic loser in front of your family, see i’m just trying to make you better” NTA OP but i need to ask: what do you see in this man? He’s unemployed, using YOUR money and is hitting on his SIL while insulting you…
My guess is the classical "we gotta stay together for the kid(s)" but considering the behaviour I don't see how it'd be any loss to get rid of the dead weight
Your right but your wrong. People don't know how to get married anymore. If a husband makes 100k a year and a wife makes 50k a year. The husband doesn't make 100k and the wife doesn't make 50k, they make 150k together. His money is her money and her money is his money. People live like roommates and wonder why the divorce rate is so high.
@@bfdia51 thats what I meant. If your getting inheritance, and you quit your job, you should still be contributing to the groceries or the bills. That's kinda messed up
@nineteen96 For the first one, she got the money for the phone herself. That one was broken because the husband tried to find a fault in the daughter using an iphone. He should've known better than destroying a 1000$ piece of property his wife saved up for
For the last story. I too am an Army vet, and my family at this point has the same tradition (grandfather was Army Air Force, Father went Navy and I went Army). Follow your dreams and find the career that you want. Regardless of our personal reasons, every single vet served so that others didn't have to; that everyone had the choice to do so. Stand your ground. Follow your heart and dreams. Remind your folks when they pressure you, that the blood of vets gives you the freedom to choose your own path.
The father from the second story: breaks phone because of his opinion Also the father from the second story when his wife gets mad at him for breaking the phone: *shocked pikachu face*
Speaking as someone who is currently active duty navy: DON’T JOIN THE MILITARY UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY WANT TO! I was in a very similar boat where my parents desperately wanted me to join and we’re threatening to kick me to the streets if I didn’t, and these years have been some of the hardest emotionally and physically. Unless you’re willing to sign the dotted line, make a 4 to 5 year legal commitment, and to give your life at any moment, then Don’t. Do. It. That’s the kind of decision you make for yourself, not your family, not your parents, no one but *yourself.*
I love that OP’s husband called his mommy when she used money from his account to buy another iPhone for her daughter. What is this guy? A petulant five year old? OMG, OP, you married a child. He has the emotional development of a child. This is setting off my narcissist radar big time.
Hey now, don't go dissing the five year olds, a lot of five year olds I know understand that when they break something they have to face the consequences. He is more like a three year old.
*First OP:* If Jared's going to roast OP's appearance, he should have expected OP to throw the heat right back at him. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* Since OP's husband insisted that the money OP "stole" to replace her daughter's phone was his father's money and not OP's, wouldn't that mean that it's also not OP's husband's money, either? In that case, OP should've used her husband's _actual_ money to replace the phone that her husband broke. OP is NTA, and I think her husband exacerbated her daughter's mental health instead of the iPhone. *Third OP:* Anyone else notice a theme here? LOL. Why do I feel like OP's husband gets more than massages from his masseuse? OP is NTA. RSlash and I have the same thought, lol *Fourth OP:* Condolences to OP and her family. OP is an adult and should decide what she wants to do for _her_ future. OP's family doesn't have to like it, but her family should respect OP's choice. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* OP's girlfriend is right: OP's mom is a grown woman. I wouldn't call OP an AH; he's just a doofus. Also, shoutout to OP's girlfriend for ignoring OP's request to cover up her tattoos. I have a weird theory: OP mentioned how conservative his parents are. What if his parents forbade OP from getting tattoos or piercings growing up, but then turned around and showed appreciation for his girlfriend's tattoos which caused OP to resent his parents (hence the sulking)? Again, it's a weird theory, and it's not to excuse OP's tantrum.
First story: OP is an asshole in a sea of them. OP immediately jumped to a devastating secret her husband entrusted her with to use as payback. And she gave it straight to his asshole parents who love conditionally. Everyone should have gotten an asshole rating of at least 3/5 in that story.
I don't think your theory on the tattoos is all that weird. I'm wondering if OP was secretly hoping there would be drama over the tattoos! Then was salty when mom loves them so much she asks for her own. 🤣🤣
Yeah I agree with your theory about the 5th story. It really sounds like he is insecure. Like thinks his parents and girlfriend have a better relationship then he does, or something I just feel like we are missing some context.
OP said his parents were conservative, yet his narrative says otherwise. Is he just going off based on what he THOUGHT his parents were like throughout his entire life, or was that a complete lie?
The story about the kid not wanting to join the military pisses me off. I fucking hate people who force fresh adults into god damn war because "the world doesnt love you" or even better "well our family is a military family" Most of those familys tend to just indoctrinate their kids into thinking the military is great and perfect, ive seen this in real life and its frustrating.
I find it really wholesome that OP's mom & dad are "conservative & traditional" (I'm guessing that means they're devout Christians or something? I dunno) and are wholly supportive of OP's girlfriend's tattoos. I honest-to-god went "aww!" out loud when the mom was excited to share her tattoos the girlfriend gave her and the dad thought it was cool; it was so sweet! Honestly, OP should be happy that he has such lovely-sounding, supportive parents! :D Meanwhile, that second story...just...wow...I know a lot of people would jump to the extreme and say "divorce him" but for real...divorce him. He loses his cool over his daughter not immediately dropping everything to get him a tool from his tool-box? Wow...how inconsiderate of her...he only wanted to spend time with his family... Oh, not the wife or the daughter, I mean the tools in the tool-box, because that's clearly where a tool like him belongs. What a self-centered, whiny douche-canoe. "Waaah! You hurt my feelings and stole from me so I'm gonna whine to my mommy and have her make you regret it!" Sheesh...what a man-baby... >.>
Second story: that sorry, lazy excuse of a father really thought he had the right to BREAK a brand new iPhone because his daughter wouldn’t get something for his lazy ass? Why the hell didn’t he just take it until she got him the toolbox??? He broke something valuable and he needs to pay for it, especially since he made his wife buy it in the first place and now she’s out all that money. My advice: don’t do anything for him or his mom til he gets a job and, if he keeps pressing the matter and doesn’t change, keep him away from your daughter because he’ll just keep punishing her.
The fact that he also thought that he could "take a break from work" 'cuz he got some money from his dad, then bitched when his daughter got a new phone? He didn't destroy the phone 'cuz she didn't get want he wanted, he did it 'cuz his wife and daughter weren't doing what he wanted. He used the "she didn't do what I wanted" excuse to get what he really wanted. What we don't know is if the daughter was using her phone for homework or something as important and was busy with other things or he didn't "ask" her and just said that he did. If he thinks that what he did was right and that he did nothing wrong and not helping with bills and things then OP needs to kick his lazy arse out and make him pay for child support and other things. The fact that the daughter had her last phone for 5 years just proves that she CAN take good care of her phone. So lazy ass .... er.... I mean her husband is wrong in SO many ways.
@@threegsgaming6959 OP posted an update/edit (which is odd that Dabney didn't cover the edit, since it was added the same day as the post). OP added that 1. He is her bio father. And 2. She DID get him the tool, she just didn't jump fast enough for his liking. Essentially he asked her for a tool that was a couple of feet away from him, but far from her. She said "sure, let me just finish this sentence and I'll get it." She then got up and gave it to him. Afterwards, he lost his mind and smashed it. He was looking for an excuse to smash it, but she didn't give him one, so he made one up. Apparently, when OP told the evil MIL the whole story, she STILL sided with her precious baby boy over her own granddaughter.
Story 3: them having a child revolts me, truly. You lost your home, are on one income, husband is lying and unreliable and not finding work, and you decide to have a child too on top of it? Leave him and RUN.
The cellphone story really pisses me off; the dad didn't contribute any money to the gift, therefore he had zero say in anything including disciplining the daughter in relation to his irrational anger focused on her phone. I genuinely don't understand his issue other than seeing some red flags from dad.
I feel like the guy who got mad about his mom getting the tattoo is actually the one that has an issue with tattoos. I don't know why he's dating a girl that Scott a bunch of them but apparently subconsciously he has an issue with it.
I remember reading the tattoo story on Reddit, and someone in the comments said something about OP thinking that his girlfriends tattoos were part of her sex appeal, so now that his mom has a tattoo, that's kind of ruined. Another thought in the same vein is that maybe OP felt like he was taking some rebellious stance against his conservative parents by dating a girl with so many tattoos and now that his parents not only love her tattoos, but his mom got one herself, that illusion of sticking it to the man is gone
Last story: It sounds like OP had a very specific scenario playing out in his head about how his girlfriend and parents would interact, and when it didn't play out, he felt betrayed. What it SOUNDS like is he wanted his girlfriend to be confrontational and start a long drawn out battle with his parents. When he says she, "went behind my back like that" I think he's mad she isn't the kind of "bad girl" he was picturing.
Nah just sounds like manipulative parents. Plenty of narcissist parents do this stuff all the time intentionally. They act a fool, then when new people come around act the opposite just to abuse their child and take control over their loved ones from under their feet. Unfortunately, it works almost every time because people want to "embrace positivity" when in reality its all manipulation.
@@readjordan2257 i'm sorry if this has happened to you or someone you love, but I just don't see that happening in this story. As far as I understand it, narcissism is a pattern of behaviour. OP didn't say his parents always "make nice" and ruin his relationships. He didn't even say they were acting out of character. The way his girlfriend "betrayed" him was not asking his permission to tatoo his mom. Heck, he didnt even say they vocally were against tatoos! All he said were that they were conservative. We also know that he tried to make his girlfriend cover up her tatoos, which she understandibly did not do. She can't hide them forever, so if it were to cause a problem better now than later. If anyone is being selfish and entitled, it is OP for "being okay" with tatoos, then trying to police both his girlfriend and mom's bodies, and then being mad when they behaved with autonomy.
Story 5: The tattoo was completely okay too because it was just flowers that represent the family. OP sounds like he is mad that he couldn't get his way, which is like toddler behavior.
I hate to disagree with you, rslash, but selling the phone also would've been wrong. The wife's money paid for it. If he had an issue, he could've had an adult conversation to convince his wife to see reason. I agree with your butthole score, though.
It definitely would've been wrong, but very vaguely understandable in the exact situation of seeing the gift as too expensive for a struggling family. But obviously, that was never the reason he didn't like the phone. Unless I'm sorely mistaken, he didn't like it because he's a control freak and someone did something he said not to do. Oh, also? It turns out the daughter didn't ignore him. OP replied to the post and apparently, she said she'd get it in a minute because she was texting a friend about homework. You know, the kind of thing someone SHOULD be using their phone for without question.
Yeah, I don't think that was solid advice. He could've taken it and that was that, selling would've been the shitty thing to do. Not to mention I doubt he would've used the money for the family, dude has an inheritance he's not sharing, so I doubt he'd use the 800 bucks for them.
@@ValeOfMuses I don't think that it should have been sold no matter what. The mom stated that she was saving up to get it. It sounds like all her bills are paid, so her extra money is her extra money to do with what she pleases. It was a present to her daughter.
@@vabthehobbit Of course. Like I said, it definitely would have been wrong. Understanding why someone does something wrong doesn't mean you agree with it.
In 2nd story I find it a bit funny the dad claims having a new phone is distracting for his daughter. But clearly his inheritance is distracting him from his responsibilities of being a parent and providing. While he is only thinking of himself.
Military story: my husband, father in law, brother in law, step father, and brother, my sister in law, my grandfather, my husbands grandfathers (on both sides) are all or have been in the military. I have a son and I’ve made it clear to my husband and he agrees, he will not be joining the service unless he absolutely wants to. No pressure from anyone in our families. Mad respect to service members. What y’all do is hard AF and I couldn’t I wouldn’t want my son to go through it either.
About 3rd story, how can that asshole say “don’t hold my unemployment against me” when he uses her employment against her. He seems to be asking for the happy ending.
If she’s pregnant, she’s not going to be able to work for long - hopefully she’s got good benefits/ paid maternity leave. What’s hubby going to do for money then?
In the tattoo story - I think OP had a preconceived notion of what he thought his parents thought about tattoos. Maybe deep down, he felt like he was rebelling against that, and being in a relationship with a tatted up girl was hot, partially because of that rebellion. Now, he finds out his parents are more open minded than he wanted to believe, to the point that his mom got a tattoo and admire his girlfriend’s tattoos. OP’s brain: so if tattoos are hot, because my folks didn’t like tattoos…but it turns out my folks do like tattoos, and now my mom has a tattoo… oh no, so is mom hot now?!?… short circuit… uhhh… blame GF! She is not allowed to make my mom hot. 🤣🤣🤣
2nd story: Red Flag, GIGANTIC red flag with him not working after inheritance. My dad did that- he has not worked now for 20 years now. OP needs to see this red flag for what it is, cuz its GIGANTIC.
Honestly, while it's reasonable to take a break after receiving inheritance, OP's daughter's father should've realized that he could have more money if he continued working and helped OP with money, so... Take that how you will.
Last story OP can't wrao his mind arround the fact that his mom is a person not just mother. I bet he blocked the fact that his parents had/have sex. Hahaha
Story 2: With a dad like that I see why the daughter had mental / emotional problems in the past. OP has got to find a way to get her daughter away from that
Last story sounds to me like the entire reason OP was with his GF was specifically because he thought his parents wouldn’t approve of her, and now that he’s seen that not only do they approve but his mom has embraced the key factor about his GF that he thought she’d hate most, he’s figuring out he’s not nearly as interested in her anymore and he’s taking it out on his GF.
All I'm going to say on the first story I hope Op left this loser the fact that this dude literally chose to fight a coworker on the benefits of having a good job and knowing what was at risk yeah I don't understand why o p is still with this dude after all that
Licensed massage therapist here! There's no way hubby is getting a simple massage for $250 a session. It can be as expensive as $150 in the US, with bells and whistles like hot stones, aroma therapy, special moisturizers, etc. Not to mention different techniques, like deep tissue, rolfing, shiatzu, pressure points, etc. It can be very expensive, but this price is definitely suspicious.!!
Right! I genuinely thought it was adorable, everything from how they got along to the mother's tattoo choice. AND they spent the whole day together chatting?!? Why in the world would someone be upset about that
The last story, I think OP desperately wants to rebel against who they think their parents are, and is now mad that didn't work. The massage one, OP needs to dispute the charges. Also, get tested and look into a divorce. Even in the unlikely event nothing fishy is going on, her husband clearly doesn't respect her.
I'll be honest, 10 bucks says that what ACTUALLY happened in the second story was that the daughter simply didnt hear him the first time, we all have that problem every so often, so considering that, and the personal experiences I've had with delusional authority figures who preside over kids? Yeah, this guy is just following the usual barbaric trend these people follow, where anything short of practically worshipping the ground they stand on and licking their boots is apparently "disrespectful", as if not catering to their fairy tale of being infallible Gods is somehow disrespect. Yeah, okay buddy, grow up, NTA OP EDIT: I lose 10 bucks by virtue of "so its not EXACTLY what happened", but the latter point still stands. The father felt slighted (as these egotists typically do) when she didnt practically kiss his boots at his command (which, in simple terms, she calmly told him she'd grab a tool for him in a second, and that shes texting a friend about homework). As such, he got whipped into a blood frenzy and freaked out.
Yeah, that dad was clearly just waiting for an excuse t destroy the phone. Also if I were the wife I'd tell him, he either stops whinng about replacing the phone he destroyed OR I file charges with the police and then sue him for the money n small claims court. That guy is a selfish jackass. Who watches their wife struggle to afford a gift for their apparently hard working, well behaved teenage daughter while they quit their job and live off inheritance?
@@ElvhenRogue So basically, I was close enough, and the second part of what I said still checks out. That father was apparently so offended by the fact that her response didnt basically kiss his behind that he flew into a blood frenzy and broke her phone. Typical, honestly, very typical...
I come from a military family, most join for monetary reasons but some found long-term careers out of it! However, this is a weird family tradition to have because it's basically deciding the career of the child before they even have a chance to move out. I would've been mad if my parents tried to push this decision on me!
4th story: I don’t know anyone in the military that would tell someone they HAVE to join if they don’t want to. This family is clearly valuing their traditions over OP’s desires, and the fact they they just assumed OP would join no questions asked before taking actions to “train” them is telling. OP did nothing wrong, and should absolutely stand their ground.
@@CelluliteYogaPants Right??? Like even if you join, if you wanna be an officer you have to go to officer school right? And that still requires college if I'm not mistaken? Now idk if it's easier to do that when you're already in or not but still. Not cool for the parents to just stomp all over OP's agency like that.
As someone who’s partaken in both reputable massages and “special” massages, I’ve never seen massages more than $60 (that’s in Texas and Northern Virginia/DC), now the special massages can be $200 or more (depending on area and who’s running the parlor).
first dude sounds like a less extreme version of my ex. Every time he called me a fat wh*re or a piece of shit, it came from a place of respect ..because if he didn't tell me i was a piece of shit when i was being a piece of shit, he didnt TRULY respect me.. Somehow he didnt feel so respected when I called him one.
@@KittenUndercover yes he is lol. He still likes to call and leave voicemails/texts from time to time to remind me that im a big ole piece of shit for "destroying his life", aka breaking up with him when he turned, and remained physically abusive
"How dare you get on with my parents and interact with my mother without asking my permission first! And mother, how dare you interact with my gf without asking permission from me!" His parents were a damn sight more open-minded than he thought they would be; hence his demands for gf to cover herself. That must have thrown him off a lot. That they'd be THAT open-minded must have absolutely shocked him. Parents should ditch the son and adopt the gf.
The last story went from understandable to creepy and immature really quick. I had a similar situation but I think I handled it better. I have a gf who is also covered in tattoos and when I took her to meet my conservative family, I asked her to dress up to meet them and cover most of her tattoos. It's not because I was worried about what my family thought, I just wanted her to make the best first impression without the judgment they hold for tattoos. They all either love the tattoos or just don't care.
Wow. There are some REAL examples of supportive life partners in this episode (sarcasm). From publicly body shaming your wife in front of family, hoarding inheritance money from your family, and stealing from your spouse for happy ending massages. Top tier husbands. (Again, sarcasm) And, what the heck was up with that last story? What a bizarro moment. 😆
2nd story, in my state, destruction of a phone up to just $250 dollars is coercion. Felony. I can't imagine what kind of prison time destroying an iPhone incurs
As someone going through all the military steps right now, not the butthole. It’s your choice, I’ll be the first blood related female to enlist so it’s a huge step for our family. Everybody has encouraged me, that’s what parents are supposed to do
Good on you for your decision to serve. But some advice from a salty army sergeant who has dealt with way to much toxic leadership… Get used bullying like this from your leadership. I can tell you this mother treats/treated her soldiers the same way she try to control her daughter. There ARE good command teams in the Army. But they’re becoming few and far between.
The ASVAB is the easiest test. Like the SATs, the test has different sections that are timed, and isn’t something specific you can study for; just general knowledge. The military uses it do decide what job to offer you or if you qualify for the job you want. There’s a mechanical sections, pattern recognition, electrical knowledge, motors, reading comprehension, math, and writing. They give you an overall score and individual section breakdown and your recruiter uses your section scores to tell you what job you’d excel at. That’s mainly the main point of the test (can you perform and understand the job you’re assigned).
Last story: So OP is worried about his parents not accepting his GFs tattoos, but then gets upset when his parents not only like her tattoos but agree to let her give them one? Shouldn't OP be happy his parents are so accepting of his new GF?
The ops parents were conservative if they put the idea of "ink work is disgusting" then that's going to be in his head. Maybe they ment "they're disgusting. For you." And then has to deal with the fact his mum got/has ink?
I bet HE is the conservative one, HE doesn't like the tattoos, maybe because he is scared of judgement or something. And he just told himself and/or the readers "Oh no, guys, it's not me. I love her tattoos, my parents don't. Boohoo." And then he thought "Even my mother has a tattoo now? How DARE she do that to her?" Either that, or a bit nicer, but also less reasonable: Maybe he thought that he knew his parents best. He thought that they would have never wanted the gf or anyone else to have tattoos. And when he was wrong, his entire world was turned upside down. Then he somehow thought of that happening as something bad. And he thought of the gf tattooing the mother as her taking this "absurd" situation to the extreme even more. Anyways, no offense to anyone, but it can get on my nerves when people have nothing else to worry about than what other people think, and they are that obsessed with their fear of judgement that they even project it on other people and try to dictate them how to look or what to behave, just so they seem "normal" enough. Maybe in really extreme cases like a white dress at a wedding, but usually that's a no go for me.
@@ninjabluefyre3815 Exactly! The only problem I see here is getting a tattoo on an impulse. If those four flowers represent the parents, their son, and the girlfriend, what happens if they break up? That being said, it seems like if the relationship does fail it won't be because of the parents.
The story about the family being in the military makes me think about the movie Full Metal Jacket. The guy was forced into it and was teased so much he couldn't handle it.
I still haven't forgotten when my mom slammed my alarm clock on the ground as a punishment and forced me to sleep in silence when I literally can't. I still haven't forgotten when I wasn't unplugging my computer fast enough for my dad, and he came through my room with a paint stirrer and broke my bank and some of my figures. It's not a fun feeling.
What I don’t get is why people think big boobs are great. I legit can’t not wear a bra. These shits are heavy. I wouldn’t not mind being smaller. Also they get cuter clothes and as a woman who likes to dress more modest, boobs ain’t for that.
I was a DDD before getting pregnant and cannot wait to get a reduction after im done breastfeeding. To not have the back problems that come with big breasts would be heavenly
i was already an F90 when i was 15 and can't afford a breast reduction because the doctor from my country don't see it as medical i miss being able to sleep on my stomach and i hate that bras all hurt
the last story is so confusing, OP was scared his parents would have a negative reaction to his GF, which is understandable, but when they didnt it somehow upset him? why? that should have been a giant relief
Also, there’s no way the mom got an actual tattoo from his girlfriend. People don’t just casually bring tattooing equipment with them to visit family. The flowers on the mother’s arms were pen drawn on skin at best.
@@Tustin2121 the parents were visiting op and gf. It is plausible that gf had her equipment there. And it sounds like it was small. It is much more likely that op sees tattoos as a sexual fetish. The real reason he wanted her to cover up in front of his parents. So now he is offended because he doesn't want to see his mom in a sexual way.
i feel the real reason behind the last story is something in the lines of "my parent didn't accept me when i was younger, surely they wouldn't accept my gf! they accepted her??? that's not fair!!! they should reject her like they rejected me"
Fun fact: At my high school the ASVAB was supposed to be mandatory for all juniors. My junior class showed up in the PAC (the Performing Arts Center, our auditorium, basically) and sat there for like an hour before the teachers figured out the person who was supposed to administer the test had just never shown up. So they let us all go back to classes saying they would reschedule the test... but they never did. So my class was the only one to *not* take the ASVAB.
Third story i have to disagree with you on this. He maxed out her CC and blamed her for it, 2.5 is way too low he atleast gets a 4 cause that is unacceptable and if his name is not on her CC account then that is straight up theft and married or not she could sue him
I will say I didn’t initially think too much about the massage price because I used to get massages at a very high-end spa/salon that charges a lot for most of its services. The closest I got to $250 per massage on their site was a Body Scrub + Custom Massage at $255 for 2 hours. Closest I got to the husband’s bill was a CBD massage and that was $200 for 1 hour. Again, this is a very luxurious place. Unless OP’s husband is getting a CBD treatment or super specialized treatment (like a medical massage, but even then), he’s probably getting a different type of special treatment.
