"R for.. Rectum" and other Phonetic Fails 

Alpha November Oscar Tango Hotel Echo Romeo Bravo Alpha November Golf Echo Romeo Victor India Delta, Mike Alpha Tango Tango!!

A is for "Apple-bottomed jeans," B for "Boots with fur" C is for "The whole Club is looking at her."

2:58 The fact he's trans and presumably picked the name himself makes it funnier. YOU DECIDED THAT NAME DUDE.

A - Aisle B - Bdellium C - Czar D - Double-U E - Eye F - Folk G - Gnat H - Hour I - I J - José K - Knight L - Llanfaiepwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch M - Mnemonic N - Night O - our P - Phonetic Q - Qi R - Rung S - Sea T - Tsar U - Use V - Volk W - Wrung X - Xylophone Y - Youse Z - Złoty

Thing is, the phonetic alphabet literally exists to provide recognizable words beginning with each letter that can't get mixed up for any other words. So "C for Chris Brown" and "R for Rectum," along with some of the others in this video, fulfill their function well. Y for Wanker, though, is right out.

As a pilot, I understand why we have a standardized phonetic alphabet. Also as a pilot I can also confirm I’d absolutely lose my mind laughing if I was told I was “cleared to Knobhead Grown man Rectum Bum” We’d have so many accidents but at least we’d all die laughing

I did not know this “phonetic alphabet” existed I thought people were supposed to just make up some word that starts with the letter

I learned the phonetic alphabet for no other reason than to name my Unown in Pokemon Soul Silver. As for the exclamation and question marks, I named them Ex and Quest respectively. Still my biggest achievement in my entire Pokemon career, collecting all 28 types. Legends Arceus might be my new crowning moment though, since it literally requires you to complete the Pokedex, something I've never managed to do before.

I didn’t even know the phonetic alphabet was a thing before this video. Thank you Matt for keeping us educated.

My dad, who is bilingual, got his languages mixed up one time while spelling out a word. He kept saying 'k' and the other person kept writing it down as c and reading it back that way, so he said no no no, k for cat (kat in his home language).

I was once harshly told off by a police dispatcher, because a colleague said "D for Dolphin" when recounting a vehicle licence plate over the phone. This was heard by the officer as "G for Golf". They pulled over the wrong car. Somewhow, I was held responsible. 🤦 (No, I was not their supervisor) This does help to show why the phonetic alphabet is so specific, though.

Not a story of forgetting the phonetic alphabet, but still related to it. On a trip as part of St Johns Ambulance when I was 14 with a bunch of other teens, we were at different parts of this town we had never been to before finding clues and having to tell eachother about them over walky talkies using the phonetic alphabet. I correctly spelt out an entire street name, a particularly long one mind you. And the kid on the other side asked me to repeat because they had zoned out at the beginning of the name. Me and the others with me let out very audible groans, earning us a laugh from a bunch of old ladies nearby who knew what we were trying to do. The old ladies gave us chocolate bars and said we were doing great, so not all bad.

Phoned a taxi once, drunk as a skunk. Had to give them my postcode, she couldn't understand my Scottish accent so I proudly proclaimed "FG FOR FKING GIRAFFE" my friend still won't let me live it down but it worked so I don't see the problem🤔

Going back to my call center days. Here's the top ones I can remember. Me: "C as in Charlie" Cust: "Who spells Charlie with a B?" Me: "Pardon Me, I meant to say *C* as in Charlie" Cust: "Oh, OK." Me: "Z as in Zebra" Cust: "G as in Jeebra?" Me: "..." Me: "K as in Kilo" Cust: "Are you in Colorado?" Me: "No, ma'am" Cust: "Because you said Kilo" Me: "X as in X-ray" Cust: "Like X-Men? That's sick dude" Me "Yeah man" And the reason I looked up the phonetic alphabet in the first place, countless times- Me: "B as in Boy" Cust: "V as in Voy?" But it bit me in the ass anyway- Me: "B as in Bravo" Cust: "V as in Vamos?" C'mon, I've been speaking English on the entire call, why would I be switching languages now?

1:45 B 1:56 B2 2:03 B3 3:06 B4 3:36 B5 5:09 B6 0:26 C 2:37 C2 3:52 E 0:51 F 0:58 F2 2:12 G 2:29 G2 3:55 G3 2:24 H 3:47 H2 4:14 H3 4:58 H4 3:22 I 4:04 I2 1:16 J 2:33 J2 4:47 J3 1:02 K 4:11 K2 2:28 M 3:53 M2 4:40 M3 5:07 M4 1:24 N 1:34 N (Aftermath) 3:33 N2 4:33 N3 0:31 O 2:54 O2 2:58 O3 0:47 P 1:47 P2 2:56 P3 4:21 P4 4:24 P5 0:42 Q 0:00 R 2:50 R2 3:14 R3 1:51 S 3:27 S2 4:30 S3 0:38 T 1:36 T2 2:11 T3 3:03 T4 4:28 T5 4:38 U 2:19 X 1:12 Y 1:18 Y2 4:26 Y3 5:04 Y4

I remember I was trying to recite the phonetic alphabet to some coworkers during our conversation about it. I ended up mixing the actual phonetics with the Greek alphabet, so the beginning was like: Alpha Bravo Gamma Delta Epsilon And I had to stop when my coworkers just started shaking heads. Seriously, if you spelled English words phonetically using the Greek alphabet I’d actually get it. 😅

Fun fact: The little flags on the top of the Krusty Krab are the flag symbols for the Alphabet as well. They’re used on boats for communication Edit: They're semaphores, not phonetic. I got them confused because all of the guides I read on how to read them used the Phonetic Alphabet instead of just the letters. I apologize, I wanted to tie it into the topic of the video and not just be unrelated spam.

A for Athetits B for Buttiful C for Cratulations D for Disgusgung E for Eeg F for Fiffyculty G for Goverment H for Hamberder I for Infromed J for Jimpinf K for Karonavirus L for Lasanga M for Morans N for Nabana O for Optimipt P for Psyhic Q for Quaranting R for Relashonship S for Strink T for Tramapoline U for Uahoo V for Vrgertable W for Wacamole X for Xcuizete (I had to cheat for this one) Y for Yatch Z for Zandwich

Watching this makes me realize that using the phonetic alphabet in daily life must be much more common in the UK than in the States. In my experience, using the standard phonetic alphabet versus making up your own words (i.e. "B as in boy", "D as in dog") is understood and accepted just as much, with no one ever making a fuss that it's improper not to use the real ones. Also, in the US we don't say "F for Foxtrot" but "F as in Foxtrot."

There's a reason NATO chose those words... I once used "B as in Beta" instead of "Bravo" and the rep said "P as in Peter"? (Which in Dutch sounds almost identical) and neither of us realised that the other was saying something different. It took us forever to figure out why my postal code wasn't being recognised

I was on hold with Nintendo customer support and in my infinite wisdom I assumed they were using an all-nintendo themed phonetic alphabet I, a grown man, said to another grown man "M for Mario?"

Another banger from Matt Rose. We should call him the Phonetic Man.

4:38 STOP MY DAD UNIRONICALLY SAYS “UTOOB” 😭

3:38 i love how u said bravo tango whiskey for btw lol

the last time I tried to use the phonetic alphabet, I said "P for... Perry" then started laughing hysterically for two painful minutes (probably sounding like I was crying) and trying to apologize between breaths. Owen from customer service, if you're out there, I am so sorry

after seeing so many of these fails, i am proud to announce the new and improved Phonetic Alphabet 2! You'll NEVER forget it! A for Ass B for Balls C for Chris Brown D for Darude - Sandstorm E for Extreme F for Finding Nemo G for Germaine Greer H for Hot Knife I for I Shat My Pants J for Jazz Hands K for KFC L for Loser M for Muppet N for Nee Naw O for Only Fans P for Pterodactyl Q for Qrossiant R for Rectum S for Sandshrew T for Thomas the Tank Engine U for Urinal V for Virtual Reality W for Winnie the Poo X for Xtreme Y for Yuck Z for ZedNeon how is it???

I remember when I was little, I had this book that was a collection of short stories about language. In one of these stories, a boy overhears his father using the phonetic alphabet over the phone. This impresses him so much that he goes and invents his own. And, it even rhymes! To this day, I could recite parts of the poem, mostly because I thought how stupid "Y wie Ypsilon, Z wie Zaubertelefon" (Y like why, Z like magic telephone basically) was. Only years later did I realize that making the words rhyme completely defeats the purpose of a phonetic alphabet. Edit: "which I don't know Bravo Tango Whiskey" Lima Mike Foxtrot Alpha Oscar

3:54 I wonder who that Andrew could be trying to get a pizza....

I always get scam calls and I'm that used to them at this point - I always waste their time and spell things with my OWN version of the phonetic alphabet and it's absolutely hilarious

Fun Fact: There's a character in Animal Crossing New Horizons who uses the Phonetic Alphabet in their dialogue. Although, they changed the W from whiskey to whisker because of the game's age rating.

The phonetic alphabet as pokemon Arceus Binacle Cherim Ducklet Eevee Fennekin Gabite Hatenna Incineroar Jigglypuff Kakuna Lampent Magikarp Natu Onix Pancham Qwilfish Raichu Sylveon Tailow Umbreon Vanilite Wailord Xerneas Yanma Zangoose Thank you for taking the time to read this art work that took me fifteen minutes since I dug these up from the bowels of my brain.

My dog passed away last night and I was struggling to keep myself together at work. This video helped me cheer up just a bit today, so thank you

Was in the US Army for 18 years where the phonetic alphabet is pretty much life. More fun, I was a court reporter. Had many...interesting phonetic alphabet given (usually when non-military witnesses came up). But there was ONE MILITARY ATTORNEY that had no clue what anything was. Better yet, my encounters with said attorney were when she was defense. Military cases, defense uses letters for exhibits. In general, the defense would use the phonetic of said exhibit to make sure the record was correct. So there's roughly 50 or so MILITARY COURTS-MARTIAL transcripts that would have (best one she ever came up with that caused even the judge to go...excuse me)....Defense Exhibit S......sexual. remember, this is on audio digital recordings AND written transcripts. From my understanding still having friends that cross paths with said attorney is that she's still having issues....to the point that a judge apparently required her to have a printout of the phonetic alphabet with her and she had to consult said printout before saying anything phonetically. I've never been told what she used that caused said order, but it must have been worse than using Sexual as a phonetic in a rape case.

This is actually the scariest thing. Literally last night, I was thinking it would be the best comedy skit to make up phonetic letters on the fly and have them get progressively more and more mundane. I said none of this out loud and a channel I've never seen in my life show up in my recommended with the exact idea I had. Google can read thoughts now

i just spent the longest time trying to read the description. thanks, matt.

I read ur whole description and my eyes hurt but great vid mate!

I work in a call center and, while I know the phonetic alphabet, my favorite thing to do as a sort of “vibe check” to see if the customer is listening is to give them a really out there example such as “T as in tsunami” and “P as in pneumonia.” My absolute favorite being “Now, is that Q as in cucumber?” The amount of people that just say “yeah” without thinking versus the people that think I’m a total fucking idiot/don’t catch it is unreal.

in animal crossing new horizons one of the characters speaks using the phonetic alphabet, but they had to sensor whiskey with whisker, so he's all like, "Okay, lifting off November Oscar Whisker."

3:13 the amount of emotion you put into this conversation really brought it to life

Thanks, Matt! I learnt the phonetic alphabet thanks to you today!

I remember this one lady who gave me the "girly phonetic alphabet". I don't remember specifically, but it was like "S as in Sunshine, R as in Rainbows" kind of thing. Felt kind of strange ngl.

Not exactly a phonetic fail, but at work I needed to read out a customer's name over headset to the inside staff (I was outside). The name was 'Wolf', easy enough. But after stating and restating it with them seemingly mishearing it more each time I just came up with "It's *Wolf* . . . as in, 'The *Wolf* of Wall Street'". That got a few laughs and a lot of groans.

Commenting without watching this one because I’m genuinely worried it might damage my ability to communicate professionally. Well done, Matt! The stakes have never been higher.

This video taught me what the phonetic alphabet was, I have never heard of this concept before

Growing up in a military family, everyone knew (from their job) or was taught (by one of the military members) the phonetic alphabet, but we all still mess up and frantically use dumb things in place of the "right" words. I usually just say whatever I can see in my vicinity with the correct letter. Moonshine, Corgie, Fly Swatter, Peanut Butter.

i remember hearing my mom trying to spell her name using the phonetic alphabet on the phone with someone. "M for Misty, I for Inside, S for Soft, T for Telophone, Y for Yellow."

I cried laughing at this as usual, keep up the good work Matt!

Well, I almost had a stroke reading your description box, but by God, I did it. 💪🏻

Worked at an airport for a time. Took a call about an incoming flight. Caller read the passengers’ names phonetically at full speed and I wrote it down in real time. Proudest moment of my life.

A creator i watch once told a story about how they had to say some code over the phone and the only thing their brain could come up with for the letters was "L for lesbian, S for sex". The woman on the phone was like "sorry what was that?" so they tried to think of something else but only managed "L for lick, S for sugar".

0:48 he’s had enough for the whole day by 9:00 AM 😂

The best version of the phonetic alphabet is: A for Arson B for Barson C for Commit Arson D for Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson

I don't have any fails of this kind but these are hilarious. 💀 skullemoji Please never stop making these, Matt!

1:42 Ah yes, all the members of The Beatles: Ringo, Tango, Bingo and Pongo.

I've watched this so many times I now know the phonetic alphabet. Thanks Matt :DD

At work I once talked to a man on the phone who had a really strong accent. He tried to spell an email address but he didn't know how the letters were pronounced. It went on for minutes with him trying to pronounce the letters individually and me constantly asking him to repeat. My coworker next to me absolutely lost it and couldn't stop laughing loudly, which really didn't help.

I vaguely knew about the phonetic alphabet for a while, learned it better when I was going through it looking for letters in it that made good character names LOL. Had a fair bit of discussion about hypothetical characters and now I know it pretty well all the way to T... and then no farther because I wasn't looking for any names past Tango.

i actually used to play this video game that had the weirdest names like "papa" "golf" and "hotel". took me a second to realize the creator used the phonetic alphabet for their character names.

Back in high school, we had a visiting native English speaker from Rhode Island who asked us if we knew how to spell "Mrs." in full. I, confident in my military knowledge, proclaimed: "Mike, India, Sierra, Tango, Romeo, Echo, Sierra, Sierra." He just looked at me bewildered and said "What?!" I learned my lesson to leave the NATO phonetic alphabet to NATO.

Another banger vid, Matt

I've heard pilots calling U as "Unicorn". It always makes me laugh. Fun fact: Atlanta airport (KATL) had a taxiway "Dixie" instead of "Delta", which is ironic considering Atlanta is the main hub for Delta Airlines. The recently reverted back to "Taxiway Delta", however.

Didn't know so many people in Britain/America use phonetic alphabet! It makes life so more convenient. In Russia, people usually have to revert to random words, and for English words it's even worse since many people just don't know English. Hence, for example, "S like dollar" in order to distinguish it from "C like Russian C" (since Cyrillic letter С makes the same sound in Russian that Latin S does in English). The hardest thing, though, is distinguishing G and J since English names of these letters have the same consonant, which often leads to confusion.

3:12 that one was too funny and you voice helps with it you’re the best

This is actually helping me learn the phonetic alphabet. I have no reason to, but it's working!

Didn't know that the phonetic alphabet is standardized in every day used in English. In Finland we just use random words that start with the correct letter. Although during my (obligatory) military service I learned this alphabet but in Finland they are called the NATO-alphabet. Though I have forgotten most of them by now.

…I just found out that a concept called the phonetic alphabet exists? The hell?

Thank you for this laugh! Those were some doozies... P for Pongo 😂

One of the serious perks of being a blind ham radio operator interested in military history who prefers telephone clarity: I have four reasons to learn the nato phonetic alphabet. I have tried to teach my children with varying levels of success so they don't sound like total tossers on phone calls as adults. This video ... is why. Also, the "blind" thing comes because all of our screen reading tech uses nato-phonetics for repeating characters to make sure we know what the letter actually is. This was absolutely necessary three decades ago when I started using the computer. The voices were absolutely atrocious to use. Seriously, look up a video of the Echo synthesizer that worked with old Apple computers. That's Apple, not Macintosh. Excellent video as always, and cheers from across the pond.

In animal crossing: new horizons, one of the characters occasionally speaks using the phonetic alphabet. He says "whisker" instead of "whiskey" and it drives me crazy

My friends back when we play among us all the time, didn’t know the phonetic alphabet and would say the letter and then the first word that came to mind, which often led to a lot of weird examples- My favorite? This convo: “B for… Balls, 7, 6, E as in eggplant, B as in breasts, and T as in Tiddies.” They didn’t the the code, so someone else went for a go at making a new phonetic alphabet “B76BET, B for Bingo, seventy-six, then bet like, ‘aight bet’” That is the one that worked, although at prefer the first one.

I have no idea what phonetic alphabet is but "tango, bingo, pongo" made my week

The sanitary towel part broke me! I was giggling the whole time, but when he said s as in sanitary towel I've just burst out in laughter

3:14 is the best part and nobody can say otherwise.

In Italy we use cities' names, like T for Turin and V for Venice. It's easy to remember and if you don't remember a city you can always use another city's name instead, zero embarrassment.

I LOVE THIS LOLLLL I've never heard of this thing I think and I love it

This list is very helpful, I never knew you're supposed to say that and not just some random word...

4:32 S for something that begins with S. Well, "something" begins with S

Oh boy I have a story about this. So my aunt Eileen came up with a very trolling way to phonetically spell our last name. I forget the majority of it, which really sucks, but it was stuff like "C as in czar", and like "I as in Igor". Things that do start with those letters but unless you had a good grip on the English language you'd be completely lost on how to spell our name. It's iconic.

About to watch this coming back from the bathroom, and for some reason just said: "Watch your mouth next time." This channel's wild...

ive been an army brat my whole life, and actually am shipping out to BMT for the air force soon, so this was just super hilarious to watch!!

I honestly wished the phonetic alphabet was something that was systematically taught at schools. I taught myself the phonetic alphabet, but working as customer support for an air carrier really solidified it for me. However, I did have to modify it when talking to customers who didn’t know it (so most of them) because no one knows what a Zulu is, for example. I remember people always came up with creative phonetics, but the only one I remember was Q for Cupid 🤣

"I'm a customer service provider" sounds much more socially acceptable than "I get paid to be verbally abused by strangers over the telephone", doesn't it?

Something in the way you read these posts always end up with me cry-laughing, Bless YOu

“B for.. bingo… and then P for…. *pongo”* I’m dying bro my heart literally stopped beating

NATO/ICAO alphabet is NOT a phonetic alphabet, it’s an acrophonic alphabet. International Phonetic Alphabet is an example of an actual phonetic alphabet.

I was in orchestra class, and the teacher said, "Ok, let's start at section P." And the dude that played the bass said "P as in Pterodactyl!" And the teacher literally said, "there's no P in Pterodactyl." 🤦‍♀️

This story is still legend at my workplace (call centre) co-worker is telling the customer the reference number (which always, ALWAYS, starts with I ) my friend says "I for piano". Some people still call him piano, and he responds to it.

"B for... Breath of the Wild" is what my friend said while watching me play Breath of the Wild.

When I dealt with the public on the phones, I got a call from a gentleman from Nigeria. The line was terrible and I was like 😖 trying to hear and understand. His accent was so thick and I lost it when his super creative phonetic alphabet came to... "Ehhhhhhh... KEH... for.....KNOWLEDGE!" Yeah I had to transfer him to my boss I'm not mature enough for that sh*t

I've heard my father read our postcode so many times in the phonetic alphabet, I know it off by heart!

As for that last one, at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, a Delta hub, they us Dixie for D, to avoid confusion.

my mom has said “d for donald trump” multiple times. she knows the actual phonetic alphabet, she just says whatever she thinks of in the moment

I think we can all agree that Matt may have unintentionally helped with a lot of job interviews using the first 20 seconds of this video.

Thought this was about the International Phonetic Alphabet (Which is a good thing to know too)

this reminds me when my friend told be to recite the phonetic alphabet and I proudly said k for ... John, THE NAME JOHN

0:53 F is for Fandango and S is for Scaramouche

I guess it doesn’t exactly have to do with the phonetic alphabet, but one time in my literacy class, we were going over test answers, using a system of “A, as in ____”. We couldn’t think of another word for C, since there were a lot of questions with C as the answer, and I fondly remember one kid shouting out, “C as in cigar!!” My teacher looked at him and burst out in laughter, followed by the rest of the class… We were in sixth grade.

Genuinely didn't realize there was a formal standard for this... Gonna actually learn it now

i didnt know what a phonetic alphabet was before this video but god i died at the regina one

I gasped to loud when I saw that you posted a new video.