r/Tumblr | you won't believe number one!!! 

OK bying a Sans plush, pretending not to know who he is and calling him Sam is the most hilariously evil thing to do to anyone who so much as knows what Undertale is

I think my favourite line from the "I talk like Solid Snake" post is the one claiming there haven't been any serial killings since the 1950s. Harold Shipman, anyone?

13:48 Let's not forget that when Toph broke out of the metal box she was trapped in, she immediately shoved both her kidnappers in it then bent the opening shut. Bare in mind, at the time that Toph was the only metal bender at that time period. Those poor bastards likely starved to death in the middle of nowhere, pressed together in an enclosed metal box. So hardcore

Let's all take a second to remember that if Tumblr didn't ban R/34 on their site, Twitter wouldn't be the cesspool it is today

0:28 This is a joke about characters in video games having a limited number of voice lines for getting hit; therefore, if a character only has one hurt sound, then when they're receiving continuous damage, it'll just be "Oof! Oof! Oof! Oof!" over and over.

Tumblr has always been weird, the NSFW ban just brought the weird to the top because a lot of people used Tumblr for either NSFW, game news, or fanart. Without the NSFW there was a vaccum as there where a lot of casualties in all 3 major groups from people who had overlapping accounts, or just quitting in protest, or multiple accounts on the same address which lead to losing non-NSFW accounts when the NSFW where deleted. Thus the weird parts filled in the cracks rapidly to keep the site alive. Now the Gamer and Fanart groups have stabilized but there's no burying the weird

The moment the male/female/prefer not to answer one came up, I immediately thought of Fallen London. I'm thrilled that it was actually referenced. Fun note, if you pick that, your character profile refers to you as a person of mysterious and indistinct gender...and npc's are like "Si-, err, mada-, ah, yes" The game is amazingly well written, and I highly recommend it. If anyone does, let me know. I can always use more friends for social actions

As a Tumblr Native, watching Robin not understand wtf is going is hilarious. Don't worry, we don't know either.

absolutely losing my mind at how he's reacting to posts that I understand immediately. tumblr gets more and more undecipherable by the day and it's beautiful to get an outside perspective.

That king wasnt uniquely big. The sword was used for decoration. He got the sawfish saw and had it mounted as if it were a sword because he thought it would be neat.

Fun fact: a raspberry crown is actually a type of moth mimicking a hornets coloration as to avoid predators

It’s very interesting watching a man who has very clearly never used tumblr try to understand all the senseless screaming of the void

As a professional cook, I fully agree with the minced garlic post. Dried garlic a garlic powder are inferior, but not minced garlic from a jar. The chemical changes in dried garlic and garlic powder effect the flavor and nutritional values. Simply mincing it and storing it in a jar with a bit of water doesn't effect it as much. I've never met a chef that turns their nose up a the raw minced garlic. It's a great time saver. We'd PREFER to use fresh minced, but sometimes a jar of pre minced is actually better for what you're making. Pre minced garlic has had time to mellow without losing its flavor. Fresh minced has more bite to it. For instance, garlic butter, pre minced is better; for Caesar dressing, fresh minced is best. Pre minced is better for pizza sauce, but fresh is best with home made Alfredo sauce, either works with marinara sauce, depending on many factors. Anyone who gets snooty about the subject is an idiot.

A strange threat I say to people is “I’m gonna buy a bunch of dogs and give you all of them so you have to bear the burden of taking care of like 50 dogs every day”

Tumblr's been ruined since the beginning, Robin. Everything else has just degraded to the point where Tumblr looks habitable by comparison.

10:33 Fun fact: there is a fanfic out there based exactly on this premise: I Know Not, and I Cannot Know--Yet I Live and I Love. It's actually beautifully told, and for any Snape fans out there, is amazing with the amount of complexity and depth it adds to both Snape's and Luna's characters. Definitely worth a read!

I’m currently reading the “Throne of Glass” novel series and well this shows exactly why a castle MADE OF FUCKING GLASS is a bad idea

Hi! Tumblr user here to explain both the hurtsound and the live slug one So the hurtsound is just referring to sounds that play when a video game character is hurt But apparently live slug is from Star Wars, who reacted in disgust to two lesbians kissing. That's where it comes from

“All I have is a window sticker of suction cup man” you, Robin, are a cultured individual

I'd suggest that the train station announcer is in the UK. There are a load of drivers and conductors who make hilarious announcements, usually on a trip that's going to be mostly filled by regulars. The thought of a station master doing the same seems to be pretty normal to me ;)

"Excuse me, what is the live slug doing there?" Oh honey, you ain't seen nothing yet

I actually use tumblr so I understand almost all of this and it’s hilarious watching someone who doesn’t get our culture react to it.

11:02 i did this in a panda express at the mall with my girlfriend- she offhandly mentioned the racism in mlp and i went on a rage induced rant for a solid five minutes about how that episode where the natives and the ponies were fighting iver land that belonged to the natives was bullshit. picture this: a girl with pink and purple hair in a funky button up rants angrily about pony racism to her green haired gf who is just lovingly listen the whole time

okay not gonna lie, the Snape teaching Luna in Potions Class is really adorable. Luna is such a sweetheart and I think Professor Snape probably isn't used to the kindness, especially from a student.

5:04 There is no camera trick. That is how big it is. But it is a ceremonial sword, mainly used more as a decoration than an actual functioning sword. It is too heavy and too unwieldy to use in battle.

This subreddit is so strange but with Robin reading it it gets even stranger and I have no clue how or why

I love how MLP only got even more expansive after it ended. While the show was airing it had a very closed club type of fans. Now that the FiM series has been over for years it's popping up everywhere.

Omg the "you wouldn't live slug a gay person" killed me because I wasn't expecting this to be use as a live slug meme! Why did I laughed so hard !?!?

Honestly, I don't think we can even blame Tumblr for what the people who like Tumblr are like, those fuckers have been having to get rid of us for years but we're stuck on there like barnacles on a boat.

tumblr is one of those sites where the funny posts are only *really* funny if you're already part of the community

1:07 loving that these are all ace attorney photos

I dunno about y’all but I absolutely adore the chaos of Tumblr and have been following it before covid. The reason some people think it’s weird is because the whole website is inside jokes with itself XD

The joke for the only one hurt sound is that some videogames(like Minecraft) only give characters one sound effect for when they get hurt

Gordon Ramsey actually cooks and eats like most of us. He likes fast food places.

my favorite thing about that site is how everyone chased away celebrities and corporations like rabid dogs, but cheer whenever osha or the Monterey bay aquarium posts. we collectively go batshit crazy for marine biology and workplace safety memes. we don't talk about denny's.

5:59 “I’m going to turn your bones into tar.” Is one of my favorite unsettling threats I came up with :)

Thank you Emkay, your videos have helped me so much

4:08 so that's how milk or cereal was "invented"

5:15 I agree that the song probably can't be reintroduced today, but I'll be damned if "You tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him" isn't the best line of that era.

"I'll fill your sinuses with urine" Well, probably better than the nonstop shitstorm that is my pollen allergies. And because the weather here is so all over everywhere always, it's not seasonal. It's permanant suffering that occasionally ramps up.

As one of the five people who has watched Agents of SHIELD, I feel the need to inform you that one of the government officials who wanted to nuke New York was revealed to be a member of Hydra. He was also the last role Powers Boothe had before he died.

For the asexual meme, each card suit represents a type of asexuality. Spades represents the Aromantic Asexual. Hearts represents the Romantic Asexual. Clubs represents the Grey-Ace/Grey-Aro Asexual. All that said, they probably went with the first image they could rip from Google. --- I'm somewhere between Kusanagi/The Major and Faye Valentine, on that KVK scale. --- Kitty Pokemon, kitty pokemon...I'm gonna be awesome with an awesome kitty Pokemon.

6:50 fun fact. Pre prepped frozen veggies are actually healthier than fresh, as they are washed, chopped and frozen hours after harcest, containing more nutrients than the days or weeks old ones you get "fresh". Because nobody knows how long they've been on the produce shelves before you buy them.

14:51 She is made out of Karenite, a material soo focused on complaining to the manager that nothing will stop it from entering a store.

5:45 Adding to the list "I will force feed you pinecones"

If I had a nickel for every one piece meme I've seen today on a video unrelated to One Piece, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot but weird that it happened twice

3:12 Sam and Paprika

So, fun fact! The peacock is one of Hera's sacred animals. The reason for this is because the Greeks believed in a story, where Zeus turned one if his many love affairs into a cow to hide her from Hera. Hera knew this, so instead of killing her, she had Argus; who was a giant with a hundred hands and a thousand eyes, constantly watch over her. Until one day, Zeus had Hermes go down and lull Argus to sleep with his Lyre, and kill him so Io could be freed. Because Argus was Hera's most loyal followers, she had his many eyes placed on the feathers of a peacock. And thus, it became her sacred animal.

Unsettling threat: I hope Alpharad invites you to a dinner party.

10:02 Your looking at it and suddenly all the eyes snap to looking at one thing, Y O U

15:15 *_Ancient Egyptian Amogus_*

@1:50 The heist executed by the gays to steal the rainbow went wrong. Had to take em out.

9:44 ..why does this feel like an SCP anomaly-

5:50 I’ve seen two of those used in a Group Chat I was in- “I will boil your Teeth” and “I will invert your ribcage”

YEEEAAH Fallen London refrence! I love that game! I recommend playing it as it is a very large game without a large player base to go with it.

8:33 JADE HARLEY PFP HOMESTUCK, I *KNEW* HOMESTUCK HAD TO BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE

1-2 minutes after drop. The earliest I’ve been for your S-tier content

My threat: I'm going to open the chip back upside down... On purpose. Me after following through with the threat: OCD intensifies. (Definitely not as bad as pouring cement in ears, but it is pretty mortifying.)

0:44 I WASN'T EXPECTING TO HEAR THE LIVE SLUG BE MENTIONED 💀

6:50 As someone who has worked in a professional kitchen, with professional cooks who have gone through culinary school... anyone who says only people who don't know how to cook take shortcuts is full of shit. Straight up, most of them would say that it's the sign of a true pro to find good shortcuts.

0:01 wasnt expecting a one piece meme on THIS channel

I absolutely love Medjed, he's literally an invisible bed sheet ghost with laser vision.

"I'm going to give you a lesion" is a pretty good threat

I was pretty curious about the raspberry crown wasp, and looked it up. Apparently it is a species of moth that has adapted to look like yellow jackets. They also are a pest to farmers that raise raspberries.

3:05 GRAAAAAAH! YOU DON'T KNOW THE IMPORTAAANCE!!

9:35 Not bleeped out, another random word that starts with f being poorly dubbed over.

So the one where it was like "girl help they gave me one hurt sound" refers to the fact that in video games, when female characters get hurt, it is one sound over and over, while male characters tend to have a range of sounds when they are injured.

0:08. I mean. What kind of foods would she be able to eat? Her waist is about the same size as her forearm. Able to only eat rice piece by piece?

7:06 Ah yes, a wild Sam O'Nella enjoyer

10:10 this is fucking scp material, somebody get this man a job

ok, I got one for the unsettling threats: I swear if you don't shut up right now will rip off your shoes and socks and then blend your toe jam.

I’m on tumblr, I can verify that all of this happens on tumblr. Be thankful you did not stumble into the one of The Incredibles. It makes you wonder how people that have such insight in topics have close to none reading comprehension.

0:35 it's a gaming reference when one game repeats the same hit audio Either that or this guy trolled me

Watching emkay on my phone whilst watching emkay on my computer, am I the spider-man meme??

1:58 Thanks to Emkay for telling us he is changing ham's pronouns! i'm so proud of ham.

Re: The insanely huge sword: That sword apparently is made of sawfish bone, which makes it unusually light despite its size.

My favourite threat to my friends is this "I will appear in your closet and steal your kneecaps" It's now an inside joke.

4:45 Here's a better one: Elden ring players looking to make a mage build, go to the college of raya lucaria. That'll _Liurnia._

1:50 In 1804 when we mastered Steam. 7:30 In society, introversion limits you. And society is where you get your everything.

i was trying to fall asleep while watching this but at the avatar post i heard my deadname and my head shot up. thanks Robin, i totally dont need sleep. 😭

"What an hour this minute has been"

I love how there are still people on Tumblr that don't believe that Sneeg is real

So I have a anxiety disorder and it’s hard to just have a basic day cause I’m always anxious but whenever I watch emkay it helps calm me down and I laugh a lot on this channel sorry if I forget some but thank you ✨ Micheal,robin,Lexi,Damian and jack ✨ you guys are what’s helped me keep it together so thank you so so much I hope you’re channel grows 10fold or more! You guys are great

Here's a bunch of random fun facts: - The Raspberry Crown is actually a type of moth that mimics wasps - The blade of that Zweihänder is actually a sawfish's nose

1:30 Hey, I wrote you a song! It goes a little something like this! *strums guitar to the theme of Die House from Cuphead, where I'm fairly sure the intro song originated*

I had to stop eating my cheesecake because I was afraid I would choke on it because I was laughing at the Wilhelm scream one. Also, I have a new appreciation for 11:34 now that I’ve gotten into Evangelion.

5:58 "I will turn you into a history lesson that you're tested on a week later only for you to get a 78%"

"His whole existence is waiting for me to feed him" Me and my best friend who constantly talks about food: *walks away*

4:56 bruh, nobody can dual wield this sword because that sword can dual wield two guys...

6:00 I like to tell people I’ll eat their spine, or crack their rib cage open like a Dr Pepper and slurp out their lungs at the moment.

2:36 as an asexual, i can say with full confidence i have only ever met other aces that are ace of hearts

Oh my god can I just say the new squeeze bottle of pre minced garlic, I love not having to get a spoon out!!

6:06 woah, don't worry maybe santa is really full after eating his 35873957th cookies and milk.

Love it as always!

In case someone doesn't know.Live slug thing-In the rise of Skywalker, there was this scene where a slug-like creature reacted in a disgusted/suspicious manner(his eyes were narrowed) to a Finn and Poe scene that seemed very gay. Now, a meme has popped up with the slug photoshopped in the corner with caption-Live slug reaction- reacting to multiple things in photo, especially if it is related to gays

I find that 'I will vivisect you.' is a good threat because most people don't know what vivisection is but it sounds scary and if they do know it will still be scary.

14:09 If my rent was $200/m for a 3 bedroom, I'd live in Gotham too.

0:14 pause than click :)

I have traveled back in time to when EmKay had intros. This is truly a special day

Ham did so good on emkay today ham should be rewarded