Sadly this isn't a phenomenon of the 50's and 60's. I grew up in 80's Catholic Ireland and much patriarchal and misgynist culture belies the land of a thousand welcomes overtly and subtly. Patriarchy still permeates the culture and political scene of many countries including my beloved Ireland to this day. Even when women are in positions of power they are divorced from their feminine wisdom and easily entangled in the slipstream in of patriarchal conditioning and the internalisation of misogynistic attitudes. Your experience and my own are decades apart but speak equally of intergenerational trauma and addiction, the church and it's consequence.
Both of you are very powerful and I can’t add my verse to what you have said……but my hunch is that it is less about being Irish and more about completely misunderstanding Christianity and applying this - catastrophically to generations - so Tragic. And Patriarchy is a MISTAKE that made it worse and kept it in place for 100’s of years. Until NOW….may this generation 🙏bring this way of life to a FULL STOP 🛑
Thank you for de-romanticizing Ireland. :-) As an American with Irish roots, I have always felt the siren call of the Old Country, but this puts in perspective yet another reason how grateful I should be my great-grandmother made the great leap of faith and left everything behind. She was from Protestant north, so I wonder if she had the same experience, but sadly I never met her to ask. All I have are my father's hazy memories, a couple old photos, and her birth and immigration records. (Quite a bit, all things considered.) He is a fabulous father, though, so I don't know how much patriarchy she brought over vs. how much she deliberately shielded her descendants from by coming over vs. how much just got diluted by others over time vs. how much is just Dad. ❤ From what I hear she was a battle-axe of a woman, though. She'd have to be, to come over alone at 18. I think the love of country is like loving an imperfect family, Ireland or US. All families are dysfunctional in their own special ways; any time you get more than one person in a room, you get exponentially more room for foibles, quirks, and downright pain. I think the hardest part of becoming an adult is learning to love where you come from, warts and all. I'll still love Ireland, I promise, but thank you for sharing her warts, because otherwise we'll never see her healed. Peace and blessings be upon you.
2010 found a 6 CD set of Louis Mehl Madrona's spirit of healing. i listened to these SOUNDS TRUE CD's every night for months. my chronic depression slowly subsided, showing me that neuroplasticity is real. contrary to my family doctor's warning of my needing to be on SSRI's for life, i realized changing my brain's "broken record" of depression is totally possible.
@@glendaboyd3869 louis mehl madrona has a 6 CD set that SOUNDS TRUE published in 2010 (?) let me know if you need more info. glad to help. he is on you tube as well.
Women have always been the silent partner. In a marriage, in a business, and in a family. She has always been the backbone of the family, but the bread winners get the credit. And we know most of them are men. So we've also died in silence. Our tasks have been minumialized until they don't happen. The Goddess inside of us now stands and takes hold of truth.
@@lieberlisa same here, from what I understand it’s because it’s familiar. we aren’t able to seek out healthy love because we don’t know what it looks like. ❤️
I was raised in the ways she describes and suffered due to it, but for me, Pippi Longstockings was the opposite of appealing and empowering to me. My homelife was all to like hers: no authority taking care of the child, everything in disarray, literally animals in the house, no set bedtime, no rules and protection and order. It was entirely terrifying and from a very young age I longed for order and predictability and routine and altogether the opposite of the life in the Pippi books.
Amen Sister. At 58 years young I am only learning how much I need this desperately and only have had the opposite, following "my Heart" throughout my life which has brought me to near house less-ness now.
Wonderful. Most important self care i started in 2022 is to save myself from my thoughts only and living in a mental universe of love, peace and harmony.
I am doing the same. It is so so hard. When I have a day that I don't suffer from my thoughts I put a star on the calendar. I get one day a month. I really hope that this will increase. It is so painful. I hear all the time that it is all love. I just can't seem to arrive at that place. I hope you are doing well.
My father was an alcoholic with my mother trying to make out to outsiders that everything was fine. My mother thought I was disabled for being emotional..Now I see it as her loss though I am in better control of my emotions as an adult and don't beat myself up about it. We live in a narcissistic world now. I would absolutely love to have a great figure but I personally am not willing to deprive myself for it. I have not accepted myself but have learned to live with myself and at 47 I'm the happiest I've ever been. I see it as a great filter to keep the narcissists away. Also you can never be happy until you are also happy for other people.
This has been so enhancing to listen to.. During the pandemic, I have been alone and , even though I have many tools for self-care, I seemed to have dropped them, lost them. It was then that I became aware of this metaphorical figure watching me all the time with intense critisism, It was my father, the world and what I endured as a sensitive, angry powerful little girl in a poor violent, Catholic, home. I am changing that relationship now..slowly. I can see now that it takes stepping away from the oppressive situation to finally see it clearly. So this has been the worst of times and the best. Alone , solitude .. terrifying, exiting.. who knows. Thank you for this and for helping those who cannot afford these valuable gifts. I am so happy to hear that. I can't afford what I'm trained in. It's always been a struggle so Thank you very much. Blessings to everyone. Our bodies and the earth , the female element is coming in and I welcome her, I lay out a carpet of flowers for her. Make way.............The goddess has landed, is here and needs us as much as we need her.
I will take the time to listen to the perspective of other people and truly consider their point of view. And I will use any conflict I experience at this time for my personal growth.
Wow, as an African American woman who is STILL dealing with how the hot, humid or damp weather can heavily inform my ability to just be spontaneous as it pertains to my hair - and how being a minority in a world where it has at least seemed that other people don’t have the hair issues we have or how we have been made to feel about our hair - it’s nice to hear similar struggles from a white woman. But I so love how now, she has overcome her body image issues and continue to believe there is hope for me as well.
Unfortunately LoriKlynn, I believe all women have issues with some part of themselves. Race is irrelevant. We somehow all feel we are "less than". Crazy but true.
I hope you get to hear more stories of how white children were raised I can promise you that it is not greener on the other side of the fence. If you would peak in as a fly on the wall , you would know the truth. No matter your race, if you had love in your home, you have an abundant life
It's amazing listening to Annie talking about growing up in the 50s and 60s with a stamp on you that you will be THIS WAY when you grow up. And now at 67 I'm trying to take off THAT WAY like a too tight bathing suit. All those habits and behaviors just take so much time to peel off. And yes, as one who grew up along the Gulf coast, being in the water was freedom to me. Thank you both for the talk.
I wish you steadfast energy and happiness for that journey to peel off the too tight suit.. I visited the gulf coast in 2019. That water looks kinda brown. I hope more people will prioritize cleaning the gulf and previous oil drilling areas.
@@LJLLL Well, it was close. Not as bad back in the day. But it does make me sad that the spillage from the Mississippi and the areas Easr and West of the Mississippi are so brown and polluted. Maybe with global awareness things will change. Dauphin Island off of Mobile Bay is still a delight. Thanks for responding!
@@Iquey I agree. I hope with global awareness things will change. The Mississippi River is so polluted from the petro chemical plants and areas east and west of the river are polluted. Dauphin Island off the coast of Alabama is wonderful. Thanks for responding!
I was chronically bullied by a girl in elementary school for 7 years who came from an alcoholic abusive Irish father and dysfunctional Catholic family as she projected and targeted her rage and powerlessness towards me....horrific experience where I hid in the bathroom stalls to eat my lunch...As a sensitive shy child... I couldn't understand and then felt so worthless...even today at 61 hiding from the world ...
I hear your story and sad you suffered terribly in your childhood and further on in your life. I understand this loneliness and violence from family & peers, because I lived it with similar circumstances with a traumatized Mother who had alcohol & serious mental health problems, along with parents who were abusive to one another & me. I am in my 60s, too & have painful personal issues, with severe Depression to face every day. "Radical Self-Care" is essential for us to practice, yet not typically easy to do on a daily basis.
I found out a girl who had bullied me in elementary school was being abused by her dad and I just thought, none of us were old enough to handle childhood.
I have heard the saying that pain will be transmitted if it’s not transformed… pain is an energy, it has to do something, go somewhere, like a tsunami in reaction to the waves of the energy the earth releases in an earthquake. When we are the “targets” it’s not personal, even if it hurts terribly…we just happened to be there. It helps me to really stay committed to deal with my pain, to process, create, transform it, so I’m not transmitting it💞
Wonderful conversation that needs to be heard by teenage girls. I vividly remember my mother telling me that I could either be a stewardess or a secretary but might be a bit too short to be a stewardess. As a result I never learned to type to assure that I wouldn't be a secretary.
What a nice way to start the new year, Anne has spoken my experience as a girl and as a woman with this loving care and liberation of and from others experience and expectations over myself. Gorgeous!
Me, too, Maria. I’ve known this but HEARING IT out of another woman’s mouth without apology or excuse made it finally hit home. I feel like I was just given the keys to my own home-MYSELF. No more guilt or obligation. All the best to you! Joy🌟
Thanks Anne Lammot for all your poetry, insights and pure bliss. You are honest about things many of us won't own up to and thanks for by so doing you're helping other addicts. Namaste
I fell in love with Anne Lamont when I read Bird by Bird when I was 15 and I knew I wanted to be an artist. Thank you for this, I'm totally crying right now, I'm totally bubbling over with love. ❤️
No jelly jars! (Lol) Tami your voice brings me to Eckhart Tolle in DC. I love your voice. I have not thought about my "other mother" lately. Children deserve to be loved unconditionally loved period. I was never smart enough. Born in 1963, I feel like I have a lot to say except I was not a born writer so at 58 my journey starts here. Thank you! I will check out your books!
The first opening 7 and a half minutes!!! Stuff I have already learnt and know but just hearing it again and writing some notes to it, allows it to sink a little deeper. And then when you get to the part where the boy slaps your hand!!! My mum used to play this with me and she would get a little harder each time and become like a battle of wills as to who was gonna cave in first, and I think I must of only been around 10 years old or so. Shocking really and I felt that in my core. She never loved herself and wasnt able to model to me self love and care, and it's now my lifes journey 💕
Tami - EVERY interview you conduct is top notch. Your listening skills, your questions, far exceed those of the usual interviewer, but this one with Annie Lamott? Wow! Soul stirring. I am a woman who grew up in the 60’s and this resonates deeply. Thank you for sharing all this Wisdom with the World. Beautiful 🙏👏 😘
*I can't do this anymore!!!* 😰 My brain has been screaming "SIN! SIN!!" to me for YEARS now every since my grandpa (My best friend) passed away. I stopped showering, taking care of my curly hair (that _needs_ care otherwise it turns into dreads within a couple of months) and felt guilty eating a cookie. No chocolate even on Christmas. I don't know how to REMOVE this voice!!! I love to take care of others.... But the word "self care" makes my stomach turn... 😞😞 It feels greater than any sin in the world and I'm not usually even religious?! Its driving my mom insane but I can't stop feeling like taking a warm bath or purchasing a lip gloss at the Dollar Store is me using up all the resources in the world 😞😞😢 (Yes this obviously got worse during the pandemic. I spent a year not buying almost anything)
Salf-care is a must. It's not selfish and not a sin. It's our responsibility to take care of our body, mind and spirit. We need to love ourselves first so we can love others. You can't give what you don't have. You deserve self-care and you're worth it.
Tami, I like your programs and guests but I'm new to your channel and ....your voice sounds a tad scarily hypnotic ... As though you're a cult leader... Too breathy
I was shamed for being sensitive as well. Big Time by my entire family. Of course death trauma and abuse as well To the point where I still don't know who the heck I am. I'm trying and 59 yrs old ... just lost..
Why did she keep saying "you did this...you did that as a child" why not say "I" instead of assuming the listener had her experience or is she projecting that at the interviewer...weird.
You sound like my MOM!! O _ O, my dad stole me when I was 2 so I didn't meet her again till I found her when I grew up at 19. She had a LOT of troubles, died in a halfway house of a heroine over dose about 12 years ago. YOU may not like the sound of "your own voice" but Its funny, I may listen to this recording over and over, to the sound of your voice just because it feels so familiar to me.
I love this "let go," it's reconnecting To that inner girl that was shoved down pushed away told hurtful nasty things it was not my fault for it I do radical self love and never feel guilty.
Just a pause at the beginning before Anne comes on....Just had to say that she was on one of the Midnight Gospel episodes (very weird show on Netflix, and trigger warning, it's graphic) talking about Death and how freeing it is when you accept it. Fantastic. I keep meaning to go back and just listen, with the screen off...
Thanks guys for this most beautiful interview. Gosh different times , yet feels like it resonate so much with me . After a super bad motorcycle accident. When I was 15 teen. My life changed. See so I get this. I am 58 now, living in Canada. However raised first 30 years in Ireland. Truth 🤗 Guilty for all my life. My fault. Still working on Truth for my own self. All she said I totally understand. Pippy long stocking, wow yes who understand this today. Yes we are all facing many battles . For me I have been made feel guilty, sad for this. By family.. I am unvaccinated . Grand with those who choose to do so. However I am not welcome 😒 no more. It's painful. But can I do... Thank you again for this most beautiful and real interview. ❤ So much love here ..
Thanks for the courage to stand by your individual health care needs. I wonder if all these convos could be more compassionate if all patriarchy were not deemed toxic. The System that plays us is Totalitarianism; one of its power elite goals is to foster looping infighting among men and women and stifle the authentic voices of both. Patriarchy at its nurturing best, rare but real, can protect and encourage people to be their most authentic; toxic patriarchy dominates, controls, smothers. Those writing here it seems mostly suffered from Authoritarianism controlling the cultural programming of females, with women, children, elders and the disabled barely surviving in cultures without strong nurturing support for all. We absolutely are powerful enough to overcome lack of self compassion without broadbrushing all masculinity as toxic Other. We need everyone's nontoxic gifts while pointing out the intentional games that silenced us.
I had love in my home as a child and still do as an imperfect being passing through. learned to love my self , understood gender differences and privileges within and around cultural norms .As an avid reader and inquisitive about life and the world left the nest at 16-17 lived in 3 continents and have an abundant life.Made my own mistakes, learned and grew from them. No romanticism here.Nothing is promised to anyone .Was born and nurtured in a village, allowed to bathed in the rain carried water from a reservoir before school, remnants of African and Carib roots ,loved geography saw the movie" Swiss family Robinson " being made at big river learned about the first Sputnik in space and Nikita "Crushev" probably spelled wrong! the cold War and other worlds. I say all this to convey life is a abundant gift !! only my opinion. Blessings to all.
I've loved Anne Lamott since first discovering her writing in the 80's. Being born in 55 I relate here to so much. I too remember my first Ms. magazine and feeling a validation I didn't know I needed.Thank you Tammy for Sounds True...a deeply valuable resource.
WoW - the unfiltered, the unsayable and the unknowable all in one ☝️ podcast. Living in our core is radical. The art of falling apart is our path with heart ❤️🔥. Exploring our tenderness is our calling. The unbearableness of being invisible to our feelings until we gently coax our way with radical self care is our mission. Anything less will not suffice. “Think of Nothing, Except The Creator Of Thought”. 🧚♂️⭕️🧞♀️ ~Rumi
I'm between your ages, 57. So many of these points hit home to me. I returned home to care for my father after being away for almost 40 years. I began therapy about six months in to my return.
I don’t know why she doesn’t like her own voice because I think it’s beautiful! I like her accent and it reminds me of an American actress who was in a love story with Jack Nicholson, and it was an unlikely match. I think she had just divorced somebody or was going to.... She’s a brunette and she wears glasses, I just can’t remember her name! But she sounds like her!
She states born in 54. Her point is to acknowledge the culture and expectations of girls and women (messages of what's acceptable) during those decades.
