LOVE EXPERT REVEALS Why 50% Of Relationships DON'T LAST! | Esther Perel & Mark Hyman

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Modern love comes with an unprecedented list of expectations. Relationships can of course be a source of amazing connection and joy, but they can also be really hard. We want our partner to be our best friend, lover, confidant, coworker, therapist, and so much more. We want from one person what an entire village used to provide. To take it a step further, we want a soul mate; we want in another human what we used to look for in the realm of the divine. We want that person to help us become the best version of ourselves. I’ve been extremely lucky in my life with my career and friendships, but romantic relationships haven’t come easy for me. I was thrilled to take a deeper look at this part of my life in this episode with my dear friend Esther Perel.
Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 30 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into nearly 30 languages. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work? Her latest project is Where Should We Begin - A Game of Stories with Esther Perel.
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11 май 2024

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Комментарии : 330

@andrewthomas695 7 месяцев назад

Most relationships don't last because most people focus more on their partner's faults than their own.

@rebekahcuriel-alessi2239 6 месяцев назад

Great point.

@annabanzon313 4 месяца назад

Don't forget homewreckers. They are young, old, married, or single. Homewreckers are the most determined category, in my opinion.

@Anonamoosemouse 3 месяца назад

I agree that that is a large part and even worse when you don't communicate your needs and fight over the things that go unsaid.

@jenniferyates8100 3 месяца назад

@annabanzon313

@MichelleLovesJesus 2 месяца назад

This teaching certainly applies to the marriage relationship as well: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." ~ Matthew 7:3-5

@proverbs3150 2 месяца назад

Most people get married because they marry whoever happens to be in their life when they are ready to marry-that person may not be the right match for them. Think about who you are having children with-that person will be in your life forever. I made both of these mistakes and I’ve suffered for many years-it never ends-especially with children.

@dougmoore5252 7 месяцев назад

We have been have married for 40 years, I love her more than ever now.

@amc3964 2 месяца назад

Beautiful.

@TheMooresNZ Месяц назад

Because you don't love her for who she was but who she is. Same.

@peterredit1305 Месяц назад

I am divorced and wish I was like you…. But we just didn’t love each other anymore.

@carolallison9685 Год назад

I think the biggest issue is people date and marry others who don't share their same morals and values. If you value your peace and quiet, dont marry someone who needs attention. If you value sexual connection, dont marry someone with a low sex drive. If you want children in the future, don't marry someone who doesn't (and don't pretend you don't want kids just to keep the relationship in hopes they'll change their mind). If you find frequent drinking immoral, dont marry someone who likes to go to the bar or club for fun. Or if you like partying (responsibly) dont marry someone who finds that immoral because eventually they will hold contempt for you. They say opposites attract, but opposites also resent in the end.

@anetakocisova1123 11 месяцев назад

very true. It's called compatilibity. And Jordan Peterson speaks about it. Totally agree.

@positivevibesonly146 8 месяцев назад

Indeed

@jenniferyates8100 3 месяца назад

Very well said👍💯

@afrolid2127 2 месяца назад

Yep am the living witness…struggling with too different moral values…his and mine!

@sameenfatima143 2 месяца назад

V true compatibility is the biggest issue. Just marry someone similar to u

@---wu3qj 2 года назад

I have been married for 35 years to my husband. Our greatest strength has been that we both have a relationship with God. God is my strength, and the true source of my happiness. I don’t expect other people ( including my husband) to be my source of happiness. I have a Friend and Father who helps me, and fulfills me. I won my husband by love, and now he adores me. I hope you all find God’s love! It is BETTER than human love.❤️

@JB-pd3ir 2 года назад

Yes

@JoeMcDonalds Год назад

Only REAL LOVE can maintain such a long relationship, and that can only be obtained through God's Love!

@JoeMcDonalds Год назад

Only REAL LOVE can maintain such a long relationship, and that can only be obtained through God's Love!

@1chipchap 7 месяцев назад

@@JoeMcDonaldsplenty of people have long lasting and loving relationships and they don't beleive in God. It seems rather judgemental to say real love can only be between two people via god. Love is love. Unless your definition of God is "love" and no religious notions are attached to that concept.. though I imagine for many the idea of God has many religious notions tied to it. It shouldn't be seen as something superior

@pimvcollem 3 месяца назад

❤️❤️❤️

@susandunn11 2 года назад

Focus on the one relationship that’s with you all your life… YOU.

@youtubefans510 Год назад

be true to yourself in every aspect or meaning

@striderm8389 7 месяцев назад

Yes!!! But I must say there’s one other b sides yerself: JESUS! The good Shepherd + u r his precious lil lamb. You’ve ALWAYS BEEN PERFECTLY LOVED!!!! He came to gather us into His arms bc He didn’t want heaven w/o us. He wrote the check to pay our debt + signed it IN HIS BLOOD

@FindTheTRUTH337 9 месяцев назад

“A degree of autonomy matched with a deep sense of belonging “ Insightful.

@observer1242 7 месяцев назад

Happiness is not the goal. It is a by product of purpose.

@mrlevi2k 8 месяцев назад

"It's a perfect match until it is not." I learned this a while ago. Great info here. Don't take decades to learn.

@bella4644 3 месяца назад

It's not easy to live with another person every day. You may be compatible in many ways, but there are still other things you clash with. Friends and family relationships are more lasting because they don't live with you. With that said, it helps to get away for a few days every now then do things to recharge and nourish our individuality.

@susanswecker1918 Месяц назад

😊😊

@TheMooresNZ Месяц назад

Riding Motorcycles does that 🙂

@teresarollins116 7 месяцев назад

Sharing and generosity are key factors in relationships. We expect that one person to be everything. What a high pedestal to be on. This therapist is spot on!

@bonniedavis9076 Год назад

So many people live together but they never really take the time to know each other. it's like a using each other game.

@lindazavala5894 8 месяцев назад

Nice to see Dr. Mark allowing yourself to be transparent with the audience.

@ZmeH906 8 месяцев назад

Sometimes men want a new woman that is half his age then finds out they have nothing in common. The depth of a relationship cannot thrive if the wisdom level doesn’t match.

@beyond_horizon_8 7 месяцев назад

In my case he needed younger versions to match his intellectual ability 😂😂😂

@blissfullyinsane8718 2 месяца назад

Seems like a pretty stupid man

@jodiparry111 7 месяцев назад

Use your relationships to show you what exists within you. Everything is for your own growth. ❤

@ameliascorner 2 месяца назад

This is just the simple truth 💜

@karihardarson1234 Месяц назад

If you want everything to be about yourself, tell your significant other up front so he can stay clear.

@EMuro-wu7uy 8 месяцев назад

The biggest obstacle in love and relationships is connection, and we idealize the idea of there being "the mythical One.". We want too much from one person only. No one person can be all that all the time. I was married, I did al the "right" things, I was "The Nice Girl" sacrifice over and over, became the caregiver to two men who entirely depended too much on me. Over and over I was overwhelmed and had my own needs never being met. Both of the men, passed on. So I am alone again, but I also can have freedom, and it's scary. I'm constantly being told you have to do this, you need this. All these roles are too much for one person. That is why it's so hard.

@kimberlyd2418 2 года назад

I think this session is so awesome because she talked about childhood traumas and damaged family background; I was raised in a loving family-not perfect until 13; my life turned into a nightmare when I lost my parents and siblings; ended up in a stranger land as a foreigner, a foster kid in the US had crippled and traumatized me until this day; I have issues with abandonments, rejections, abuse, neglects, trust, connections, etc. 40 plus years later, I still fear of being closed to anyone; having partner relation is out of the question until I work my issues out.

@striderm8389 11 месяцев назад

Run to Jesus, cling to Jesus… and live. He knows all about it + cried w/you the whole time. He understands. He heals. He cares…

@vickibazter3446 8 месяцев назад

❤ 🙏

@striderm8389 8 месяцев назад

Hope u r doing a little bit better now, Kimberly. Soooo sorry u went thru all that!!! And yet…You’ve always been perfectly loved…. By the Father (u r NOT AN ORPHAN!), the Son + the Holy Spirit. I wish I cd give u a BIG HUG from Portland, OR. W/God there is no distance, actually 😊😊

@DA-gq6kt 8 месяцев назад

Kimberly I can understand what you have been through. Please consider treatment for complicated Post-traumatic stress disorder. Breathing exercises and somatic sessions can help you a great deal. When humans face a set of traumas without healing, our nervous system becomes dis-regulated. May Allah heal you and guide you. All the best.

@lauriemichael7528 8 месяцев назад

Wow, I'm so sorry you have suffered so much. I pray you find peace of mind and strength and joy and happiness and anything you need in your life. God Bless you ❤

@christinajohnson8465 10 месяцев назад

This is really resonating with me…I tend to nurture and in a way, kind of melt into who my person is. And then, I slowly become resentful of the person sucking up my time and energy. I am 47, divorced 3 times, and just now figuring this out…😳

@NBnNC 8 месяцев назад

Better late than never 🫡🤗

@malhunt7 8 месяцев назад

@@NBnNCTrue! OP should look into attachment theory, borderline personality disorder, and codependency (CODA) ❤

@theresamarie714 15 дней назад

Same!!!😉 It’s never too late to discover ourselves🥰

@Ke875 2 месяца назад

Respect is very important in the beginning, when person is nice and other person has short temper , live trust has to be there ! If you find 60% in some one , looking for 40% percent then you will never find someone perfect ! Relationships are hard you have to make them work! Nothing easy!

@youtubefans510 2 месяца назад

there is no such thing as perfection, what would be the definition ? I am a gemini we don't expect perfection we expect humanity , that means as a gemini you accept others for being HUMAN

@positivevibesonly146 8 месяцев назад

To be in a fully functional relationship we need to know who we want and why we want them. Also, I believe we all need to get counseling or do some deep soul searching.

@annabanzon313 4 месяца назад

Don't forget that circumstances and spouses change. So who you want and why will change too. The marriages that last usually eliminate unnecessary changes.

@user-ol8xm5qn1p Месяц назад

La l

@user-ol8xm5qn1p Месяц назад

@annaba😊😊nzon313

@user-ol8xm5qn1p Месяц назад

❤

@pattyvanarsdale2791 7 месяцев назад

Married 30 years (age 27 to 57). Best friends. Great team. No adultery. Just unresolved childhood trauma showed up.

@vedawattieram1974 4 месяца назад

Wow!!🎉

@kirsinurmio9441 7 месяцев назад

I am so tired of ”a relationship lasting” being the main goal in life! A relationship can be wonderful while it lasts and that isnt ”wiped out” just because it ran its course and ended. And sometimes finally having the strength to force the moment to its crisis (TS Eliot) and end a long long relationship that no longer serves anyone is true bravery!

@marionmaierphilonatura 7 месяцев назад

That is what I did a few months ago after 12 years of relationship with ups and downs. It didn"t serve us anymore. Frustration increased and I just didn't want to lose the respect for my partner and my dignity because of bearing the burden of fixing the relationship due to commitment. I am single now and although I enjoy my freedom, there are moments when I regret the separation for reasons of familiarity over the years. There was an investment of tlme and engagement to support the other"s growth. Nevertheless, I won"t miss my experiences for good and for bad. Time to say goodbye.

@heathergrahame9647 4 дня назад

As Esther says, the relationship we have (or had) with our parents plays a fundamental role in our adult intimate relationships. That's certainly true for me. Growing up, I experienced virtually no love from both my parents. It was all about them and their needs and how I had to behave so that they were happy or not upset. My intimate relationships went in the same direction. I've ended up stuck in the expectation and belief that people are only interested in getting something from me and couldn't care less about my welfare or needs.

@JanaLeeME 2 года назад

My Children All say they will not marry. I need to share this with them, because it’s so true about wanting our partners to be everything in one. I believe we love different people for different reasons.

@doneshaberryhill5671 2 года назад

How old are your children if you don’t mind me asking.

@user-ce2tb6hz4p Месяц назад

Unhappy

@karenstanislaw8912 2 года назад

She seems to be a **wonderful therapist - inspired, resourceful, dexterous, present. -Appreciate listening to her. Good choice, Mark.

@rlburns5426 8 месяцев назад

❤😢😮❤😅😮🎉❤❤❤❤ 19:00 ❤e😢😢❤😅😢1b🎉❤😅❤😮😢😂❤

@migacompany4879 7 месяцев назад

/00

@michelewambaugh 2 месяца назад

I had it all for 21 years, at first it was difficult but we worked it out. It was mostly Heaven! He has been dead 3 years. And yet I hope to have another love at age 80!!!

@johannascicluna Месяц назад

Hugs

@billyshears6622 7 месяцев назад

This is the most impactful relationship discussion I've ever seen.

@freedom7146 Год назад

I love Ester Perel I have learned so much in her online interviews. My advice at 60yrs old, my first and last marriage lasted for 21 yrs to a man who had mental and physical health issues that surfaced after 5 yrs. I knew he had physical issues but not mental issues. I was a caregiver for most of the marriage, and I also found out that the arrangement for me was emotionally draining. So I date only men that understand why I will never marry again and that I date based on my various interests at the time. I love my freedom and peace more than being in a marital arrangement that is more about ownership than living free. I have a fun, interesting life everyday mostly. I love my life because it is my life!

@striderm8389 11 месяцев назад

Yes, me too… I Call it “Solitudinous Bliss.” Part of my own simple life is the surety that my true unfailing relationship is w/my Dear Friend + kind Good Shepherd, Jesus: unchanging love, a free gift There is a plan that I am a part of right now, + it’s my privilege to take part. The end times bring an urgency and a deep meaning to my days! Also, “She who laughs…LASTS!”☺️🤪😄

@palapalak.8907 10 месяцев назад

Exactly

@kssgpv 8 месяцев назад

Exactly! And mostly women have the barrier to carry men's emotional problems

@striderm8389 8 месяцев назад

@@kssgpvMen are so needy…

@bar1ton1 7 месяцев назад

It's great that it works for you. For me such a relationship is not enough on emotional level. This comes to understanding that we all have different needs and you need to find yourself a partner that has the same basic needs. Most people fall in love and try to force their needs and expectations to a person who doesn't have the same basic needs. And it will be doomed in the long run. For me an emotional relationship is all or nothing. I really feel my partner "owns" me. Not literally, but every day I choose to be hers and it feels good. It took me a long time to find such things and I'm really convinced that people just don't know what to expect from their own partner. I'd say expect all you need! Be picky! Choose wisely! I now got all i want and need and it really really feels great.

@barbaramurray4951 9 месяцев назад

Thank you Dr. Hyman. What a treasure. Esther Perel is brilliant!! I had absolutely no models, examples of health in relationships . This was a gift of wisdom from an expert not to be forgotten!! Thanks again Dr. Hyman and Esther Perel.

@flyandshy00 8 месяцев назад

Relationships end because men base it on how a woman looks - she get wrinkles, gains weight - they will find a younger one and cheat or leave. So It's transactional or one person is trying to use another person for looks, sexual benefits etc. It's not sustainable anyway. People are wrong saying that it is based on love, it's based on lust.

@blissfullyinsane8718 2 месяца назад

Made so much worse by the modern day access to porn

@saruultugsganbaatar7652 2 месяца назад

True

@cougmom9317 16 дней назад

When I worked in family and estate law, it was sad to see how many long term marriages had ended due to affairs/new marriages that didn’t work out either. People alone in their golden years because they didn’t think they would age out of being able to retain younger partners. What isn’t discussed much is the divorce rate increases for 2nd, 3rd marriages.

@tigisthailuasfawossen6312 7 месяцев назад

Beautiful mature conversation. Very relatable!

@yvonnewardrichardson9191 2 года назад

Feeling comfortable in our own skins, being vulnerable, etc. are so important to our emotional and then physical health.

@irinaivanovic9792 8 месяцев назад

This!!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

@lisasuzanne38 2 года назад

Outstanding. Thank you for another great video Dr. Hyman!

@nicolej615 2 года назад

This is great. And her reference to lying down to have the argument is a good point. Also, please have Dr.Gottman on too. He is great.

@AnthonyManzio 7 месяцев назад

He's a simp

@bar1ton1 7 месяцев назад

Different people have different needs. I have a partner that feels like I feel, we want and need the one and only. And it works. We of course have other people in our lives too but still we are all in one and wouldn't have it any other way. Only way to have as meaningful relationship as we really want and need.

@sarahthomson8183 2 года назад

Great talk. Sorry about the last relationship ending, Mark. So painful.

@heathergrahame9647 4 дня назад

Healthy relationship: I am responsible for my own happiness and unhappiness. Unhealthy relationship: My partner is responsible for my happiness and unhappiness.

@preciousmousse 9 месяцев назад

Hearing Mark carelessly laughing is such a cure in itself!

@jonathanmagic5633 9 месяцев назад

She's one of the best.

@rjayor 8 месяцев назад

I love her. I wish she was around when I was married. She’s so strong and insightful. Usually Mark talks over guests all the time but he doesn’t with her. He can feel her power.

@moniquemichelle7295 8 месяцев назад

Love this comment ❤❤❤

@yvonnewardrichardson9191 2 года назад

MARK... Love the way you are being open and authentic about your history! Way to go Esther !!

@christelnielandt5117 10 месяцев назад

Superb ! Everone should listen to Esther 🌻🙏🥰

@anikaray4192 7 дней назад

Thank you for this amazing interview🙏🧡 So many takeaways and wisdom based on beautiful expertise of two professionals but also amazing human beings.Again thanks to both of you 🙏✨️

@laerkekerstenable 8 месяцев назад

Incredible conversation. Very uplifting and empowering to hear Esther talk about relationships. I want to encourage to change the title of this video - because the title feels disempowering towards relationships. Just a thought 🌾

@just-breath 2 года назад

make sure to truly love yourself, and be complete all by yourself., be you, and make sure you know who that other person really is. also be happy being alone its the greatest teacher in life. when you know what love truly is then life will bring that special person in your life. also its better to be alone then be in a miserable relationship.

@anetakocisova1123 11 месяцев назад

who truly loves themselvess? can you show me?

@cavelleardiel Год назад

I am, for the first time, ready for a relationship. I know it wont be easy but I am choosing wisely.

@jamesokeeffe3216 9 месяцев назад

How old are you ?

@withusbae5749 7 месяцев назад

You look like a mature woman..up in age. You might be ready

@cavelleardiel 7 месяцев назад

@@withusbae5749 Yup. I am 57. Lots of lessons learned. However, life has changed since I posed that and I am starting a new career and moving. No time for dating but I have found a new passion that will be keeping me busy!!

@arianaalvarez6579 Месяц назад

This is art. It's so beautiful how she can really get to the root of the problem.

@heltristan Месяц назад

Knowing and loving yourself teaches you what you want , what you dont want and how you want to be LOVED 🤗

@eveningstar1 2 года назад

LOVE Esther Perel!!!

@user-tq3zd7vi6h 2 года назад

Thank you for this thought provoking & insightful video! Where do I find Esther Perel's game?

@catherineanderson2514 2 года назад

I have the same irrational fear of sharks too! Love and appreciate all your work, hopefully our paths cross someday-

@n.m6249 8 месяцев назад

Last sentence is very interesting absolutely longevity of life of men and women

@youtubefans510 Год назад

mutual empathy is the way to openness and honesty which you can find in open relationships because openness and honesty is seen as more important than infidelity if that were the case with monogamous relationships that would also work but it doesnt seem that way

@lindapelle8738 2 года назад

Or the marriage breaks up simply when the man desires a younger woman. My last 4 year relationship ended because of those expectations, the list becomes longer and longer. First it’s just let’s be together have fun , support each other, be intimate partners in life. Intimacy stayed the same but then the list of all the things that he needed to make him happy grew very long. He claimed he just wanted a lover and a best friend confidant…But I then found out he wanted a mother too, a cleaner a cook a dishwasher, someone to give much attention to ALL of his needs. I have no interest in being anyone’s mother that’s when I lose interest and passion wanes. It takes time for men to show their true self and expectations. I suppose women too.

@redemptionhappens7725 2 года назад

I agree. It’s really disgusting how so many men act dependent and childish. I have no interest in having a giant parasite in my life.

@lindapelle8738 2 года назад

@@redemptionhappens7725 😂😂😂I couldn’t have said it better

@jonthebutcher 2 года назад

You both sound bitter. Move on and enjoy all life has to offer 👍

@anandakandra 2 года назад

Men who want a mother, a mother doesn't sex with her son. Such unrealistic expectation ; then they wonder why they can't get some from their partner. Go figure 🙄

@dana102083 2 года назад

@@jonthebutcher go clean your room.

@rebeccarich7112 7 месяцев назад

Amazing interview but interviewer does not need to keep saying “aha” “yeah” etc. he also needs to pause and listen more once she gives an answer and go with the flow of the interview.

@_Amy_Baumann 2 года назад

What a valuable and fascinating discussion! The authentic vulnerability is very appreciated. Super awesome! 👏🏻 👏🏻

@joannegild8001 8 месяцев назад

I feel loved by my friends and my children. I just want to feel loved by my partner.

@brycebaker2436 2 года назад

Add into the equation childhood or adult traumas, mental illness and just the general complexity of our individual human experience and you have an even more daunting task. I love the idea that a relationship ending is not a failure. Thank you!

@juliettailor1616 9 месяцев назад

I think a relationship ending is a failure. Unless it's a friendship , sometimes one outgrows people. Partner relationships however, are for emotional and financial security. They are a lifelong investments and particularly if one has children with them it's not good to end the relationship if salvageable. The point is to find community and meaning outside of your intimate relationship.

@helenaville5939 7 месяцев назад

@@juliettailor1616 As a working psychotherapist I disagree with your reasoning. You sound like a slave to convention who is clinging to age old values when men were the providers and women were home-makers. Even your use of language belongs to that long outdated thinking, eg that you would describe a relationship as "salvageable". Ships wrecks are salvageable. If a relationship needs to be seen as a wreck then it has already run its course. The deep problems like resentment, lack of communication, indifference, and animosity exist not because a relationship needs to be salvaged, but because two people have remained together after the point when the relationship had already run its course.

@juliettailor1616 7 месяцев назад

@@helenaville5939 you are a psychotherapist?! That's appalling because your style of debate is unacceptable. "Slave to convention" "clinging to age old values" "outdated thinking". I said if a marriage was salvageable. Meaning that there are times when people go through difficult times and those are the times, particularly women, opt for divorce. Marriage is a partnership. BOTH partners should provide financial and emotional security and both should do work in the home unless either party, male or female choses to stay home and raise children because that is a full time job. Marriage is for the children. Studies show that a childhood adverse affect is losing a parent either by death or divorce and you should know that. The skyrocketing rate of divorce is due to many factors (lack of family and state support in raising children, lack of emotional and career fulfillment outside the marriage, getting married to people to quickly and with whom you don't share core values etc.) not because a relationship has "run its course". That's absurd. You don't get into a friendship or marriage until it has "run its course".

@Laperla66 Месяц назад

Muy buena charla sobre comunicación para quienes pretender vivir el amor y no pueden comunicar.. Gracias Ester..Éxitos con el juego de cartas!

@positivevibesonly146 8 месяцев назад

Life, love and relationships are not as easy as doing a Math problem. For eg, 1+1=2. In our contemporary society, we need to first figure out who we are, what we want from life, the qualities we want in a partner, if we really want a serious relationship or a fling etc. We also must have a firm spiritual foundation as men and always seek to improve ourself. To be hone

@shellshelly5552 3 месяца назад

Communication about anything, respect always, repeat, repeat.

@Paradys8 3 месяца назад

Great informative video. Thank you very much!🍀🌈🍀

@cashscholar 7 месяцев назад

I’m pro-marriage, but I’ve come to the conclusion over the years that I am a great boyfriend, but not a very good husband. Not sure why I seem to have a better spirit, motivation, and happiness when I’m a boyfriend.

@jjm2948 7 месяцев назад

Maybe once true commitment comes into play then things change. People say well I’ve secured this and the spark is gone

@blissfullyinsane8718 2 месяца назад

Sounds like immaturity

@ligiasommers 2 года назад

Super helpful 🙏🏻💖🌹

@cougmom9317 16 дней назад

This is a great session. I loved the equation of “autonomy with a deep sense of belonging”. That is brilliant IF it can be maintained ethically. The observation I have is this leaves wiggle room to act on temptations and that basically comes down to a person’s character. And one’s ability to attract other options. It seems that a less exciting sparkling relationship is the trade off for safety and security. In my experience.

@MarioTartaglia-dh6pi 10 месяцев назад

In my experience she knows her stuff Cause marriage can be good for a long time But when that mid life enters it shit starts to fly all what u suppressed and did not work within resurfaces and makes navigation to the next cycle so hard That’s when it blows up

@kamalrukhkhan3952 Год назад

Lovely session!

@theevolvingnestwithlisaspeers Год назад

Such great wisdom by Esther. I’ve read all her books. I recommend reading “How we love.” by Yerovick to help figure out why you’re making the decisions you make in your relationships.

@A.KZydik 2 месяца назад

Yes , we always want intimacy. There is nothing wrong with that, the essence of any healthy relationship and is what connects us with others and nothing wrong about having with many people as well. What is wrong is comparing them and putting them in a hierarchical position list, creating the illusion of one being better than the other.

@mariusandreas5026 8 месяцев назад

Hi! Do you know how can or. From where we can purchase those cards! It's a great tool to create the connection between people. Thank you!

@katiemobley5882 2 года назад

Love and Gratitude to you both! I’m ordering the game now 💖 God Bless your work 🙏

@MultiGracie23 8 месяцев назад

What’s the name of the game

@WeeTodd-tz2xg 19 часов назад

Cant find a good shrink anymore because they all want to be on the internet. Still they can't solve your problems. Only tell you to look at from a different angle. Thanks Ester.

@sabinestephan9079 2 года назад

That game she presented seems to be fun 😄. I live in Hawaii and also fear sharks too. But I still love the Beach and the ocean.

@emusic96785 2 года назад

I live in Hawaii and knew not to watch Jaws movie.

@marepsi Год назад

Conditional restraints prevent embodied active productivity and sidetracks both/either enlighten and/or dilute.

@aloner245 10 месяцев назад

I hate divorce and believe marriage till one spouse dies.

@rebekahcuriel-alessi2239 6 месяцев назад

I understand and with deep addictions, infidelities, dishonesties.....it is like a partner has died. 🙏

@aloner245 6 месяцев назад

@@rebekahcuriel-alessi2239 exactly- wife cheating felt like a death

@rebekahcuriel-alessi2239 6 месяцев назад

@@aloner245 ❤️

@aloner245 6 месяцев назад

@@rebekahcuriel-alessi2239 thank you

@cindymillergirl3537 Месяц назад

But there is the fact that there is abuse and violence. No person deserves that. Every person deserves happiness and should be able to make those choices in life.

@roseconnolly2277 Месяц назад

Hey Mark, I related to your story about fear of sharks, I haven't swam in the ocean since "JAWS", LOL

@lindadupuis1531 Год назад

I feel the same way. It’s relationships are are a constant failure. Maybe it’s my expectations?

@willyh.r.1216 Месяц назад

Nothing is doomed to last forever. And if it lasts, some discomfort escorts it.

@touch0ph1001 7 месяцев назад

When the law requires them to be a these roles - as in intimate Partner - there is a strong incentive to obey. Costly to go in your own direction.

@Theodore617 6 месяцев назад

Wife and I had a tight bond until she was talked into buying a jetski , now we can't do anything together anymore 20 years strong and the last 2 years not that good , I have mobility issues and can't be out in the heat too long, I do depend on her she is my caregiver

@elmarwolters2751 Месяц назад

You keep doing this because your most fundamental basic and most powerful need is for adult attachment and bonding with a " special " other .... , not my wisdom but that of Sue Johnson in her book " Hold me Tight " ..... why not invite her for a talk , she is brilliant and very entertaining as well . All the best 👍

@davidmonroe2008 Год назад

Enjoy Janice, my dear!

@katniss4670 3 месяца назад

Jordan Peterson’s marriage is a good example of one to emulate and admire , as is William and Catherine’s.

@Glower22x4 6 месяцев назад

I think that relationship are like a dress or a trouser one likes very much, and wear it all the time. It gets dirty and you have to wash it and iron it regularly, you mend it when you need to. And human nature likes new things all the time and as soon as the decay factor sets in, you are off looking for new thrills and loves. Same with careers and you have to regularly renew yourself from within to keep up with the ever increasing demands and challenges.

@mfenderson2714 2 года назад

Its interesting that she says that when couples have issues they talk to no one. I'm not married and from a younger generation. I think we don't talk to other because sometimes counselors enforce their own ideas of what should be in a relationship instead of seeing where the couple really is and helping them understand each other better. It's sounds like this lady really does this. It's making me think about myself and what has shaped my perception of relationship and marriage. My parents divorced, I'm a woman and I was raised by my single dad. Honestly, I could see why they divorced before watching this but her explanations made a lot of sense. I'm going to check out her game. I think also people are afraid of being vulnerable an open because there is a fear that others would use it against them or them poorly of them in some way. I think people carry this is relationships which is way they fail and why no one tells anyone when they are struggling until after they have made the decision to dissolve the relationship.

@stevend2748 6 месяцев назад

3:11 wow that's powerful

@brendanogorman3748 6 месяцев назад

Relationships are not a prison sentence. It's simply give and take. We are more than the sum of our parts

@philosopherprince339 Год назад

I'm so sad i had no community to help my last love. I want to end it.

@kimsmith7212 9 месяцев назад

Nursing school. So many people divorced their partners once they had their own careers and financial security

@georgehartler3423 7 месяцев назад

Krays v a, I connect with your words your Insight. My real name is letter you, u r i. Born here of russian-ukrainian Georgian heritage. I wish to compliment you. You have the soul of i v a n, t urg letter e letter n letter e letter v. So you know, I am getting close to 68 years old, however was always good to listen to wisdom

@FlatStella1 Год назад

I like the game!!!!Where can I get it amazon? :-)

@bonniedavis9076 Год назад

Whst are the things to look for in a mate? For women?

@gotama570 11 месяцев назад

She is fantastic really good one. 26:14 take note :-)

@heltristan Месяц назад

BOTH wonderful people talking G O L D here ⭐⚡

@leonapietsch4367 8 месяцев назад

When you say I do before God. You should stay faithful till death do you part. My Ex is a very toxic alcoholic lying cheat. He had many affairs! I was faithful. It was a one sided marriage.

@preciousmousse 9 месяцев назад

I absolutely love Esther's work, but I disagree that these patterns don't seep into friendships too. We make friends who resemble our parents, we just don't share intimacy with those people in that we avoid talking deep emotional things (unfortunately).

@Steve1734 6 месяцев назад

My ex now has the perfect marriage. She was married to me for 26 years and were were divorced 18 years ago. She finally remarried to a 80 year old lawyer. They set some rules: 1. No sex. 2. Separate bedrooms with separate ensuite bathrooms. 3. She cooks breakfast. He cooks dinner. 4. He has to continue working because the money is too good, so she does not have to, but does anyway. 5. He can do what he likes every second weekend, and what she wants on the other. 6. Whoever dies first gets everything. The kids will have to wait until they both go, to inherit.