Raising A Child With Selective Mutism | MY CHILD WON'T TALK | Full Documentary | Origin 

@@jamieingels1190 All of the cases in this documentary were genuine, that I can absolutely assure you of. Danielle (from the documentary)

Sunset Fern my sister used to burp... she could burp the alphabet. 😂

LMAAOOO, i'm sorry but the comparison with the Minecraft villager.... lol

I can just imagine a real life minecraft villager. LMAO

😂😂 Gotta meet this dood

Brendan Morin omg same

Brendan Morin same

samee

Jörgen rip omg you spelt your own name wrong ;-; pewds spells it Joergen

@Brendan Morin ya i know, but i own it

My son was the same way. We just supported him, and now he speaks most of the time unless he is pressured. He is doing great academically and in most social situations. I am very proud of his work!

@@shorne395 happy to hear that

Me too! I would only speak to my parents and my grandma. I didn’t say a single word in school, but I had friends. I was lucky my classmates liked playing with me even though I didn’t talk to them, they were so nice to me. And you are so right, the more pressured I felt to talk the harder it was. After a year or so I started talking to some teachers and close friends and family members (I remember my friends being shocked when I first talk to them hahah). Now I’m 18 and I talk to everyone without a problem :)

I wish my parents hadn't pressured me. 🤕

i have selective mutism in certain situations e.g shops, school, park etc and i have to agree with this so much the more people expect it the harder it is to speak to them but my parents arent as good at dealing with it (specifically my mum) e.g my teacher was on the phone to her once and i realised and she was trying to speak to me while on the phone to him and i couldnt say a word so after she hung up i got shouted at and it really hurt because i cant control it

Megan's classmates are clearly happy that she is making progress, and they are considerate enough of her feelings not to make a big fuss.

They made me have faith in humanity ❤

Opposite for mw

A genuine rowdy girl your profile pic is my reaction

Rijul D 😂😂😂

LOL😂！

ME THOUGH LMAO

LMFAO

Oh you definitely can. My just turned 4 year old twins girls, with selective mutism, have a best friend who doesn't speak English, and neither does their mother. Some how we get on really well...it's amazing how much human communication is non verbal.

You're confusing "can't speak" with "won't speak". Yes, in a case like this it might be the same thing (a psychological condition is just as real as a physical one), but from the other person's point of view, it seems as though it's personal. You can speak and you speak to others, you just won't speak to me. It's not the same as being mute and it's not the same as someone who doesn't speak your language.

Ask that question to parents of severely autistic kids who have no speech and unbelievable violent behaviour , both towards others and self harming too, because we do have a beautiful relationship.

My daughter will b 3 in 2wks & has jst been diagnosed with having selective mutism,,She'll talk 4 England @ home with me,,she'll talk 2 my parents & my best friend,,but she won't talk 2 her dad (were not 2gether) her family on her dad's side,,my brother & his family & she won't talk @ playgroup either,,,but she has the biggest heart,,Is so funny & extremely beautiful inside & out,,but we're ready 2 put in lots of hard work 2 make her life alot easier..x

@@DougShanahanMusic exactly! It's frustrating for them because of this

Oh f*** off. For all you know, explaining his feelings played a contributory role in her eventually sending those messages. There is no 'lack of understanding' concerned with expressing pain, caused by her, to your grand daughter.

Right!? That granddad was so frustrating

Oh stop it. They want the kid to talk because it's pretty highly correlated to success in life. It's not parents fault that society requires everyone to be able to talk and socialize, and otherwise develop normally. Outsiders will judge constantly. Why don't they teach their kids? Why don't they discipline this kid and make them talk? Society judges a parent and their parenting I their child doesn't behave normally. They see a kid in a bad moment, deem the parent a failure, pretend to know the whole picture. Like you're doing with your comment .

@@kenw2225 society is like that because we perpetuate it. non verbal people deserve to be part of society too

I’m glad we all agree

Nah. Not even top 10

@@pervisgavin1730you must be fun at parties

@@ramen8925 Bold of you to assume they get invited to parties

@@GlazerX💀💀

@@GlazerXyo 🤣🤣💀

Damn it hahahahaha

The only good meme i've seen in that format, well done

@@catgoeskek thank you sir

Underrated comment

This should’ve got more likes but noobs won’t understand

I know it! Warmed my heart. Everyone deserves a friend like that. That loves you with no judgement. What a wonderful little girl. Both of them!

She's a keeper

my teachers did this for me at school and still do sometimes. (i have selective mutism)

Faith i’m really curious about somethings.. do you just not want to talk? cus ur nervous?? or like even if you tried, no sound would come out?? sorry if i come across rude, i’m very curious. x

@@meganw9380 Not the person you asked, but I think I can shed a little light on it. When I was younger, I had similar difficulties, but I don't believe they were anywhere near as bad what's shown in the documentary. I was a really shy kid and would only speak to friends and certain family - anyone unfamiliar I couldn't speak to. Now that I'm older, I can do all those things, but one area that I struggle with is any kind of serious or emotional conversation. If I need to talk about anything that's upsetting me or anything like that, I'm completely unable to speak. There's only been a few times where anything can come out. It literally feels as though you can't talk, even though you're perfectly capable physically. There's been moments where I've tried to push at least one word out, and nothing will come out of my mouth - sometimes I can't even nod or shake my head. If I have anything serious to talk about, I mostly communicate completely through writing since it's the only way I'll get anything out. It's extremely anxiety inducing to talk, and I can imagine it feels much the same way for these kids, only on a bigger and more general scale.

That must be such a good feeling. This shadow of many years lifting bit by bit.

Yeah I have selective mutism and it made me so happy to see Megan speak out loud in front of her class

Prop to you

Our friend had selective mutism. We had to beat him hard for a few months but finally we could cure him. The best memories was his first words to us "please stop beating me" before he passed out. Great chap.

@@mrrandom1265 im sorry what

im pretty sure i had this conditon to a pretty extreme extent but given the fact this is a reply to a pretty serious heartfelt story i do feel like you just have a dark sense of humor and it was pretty damn funny. The way you took what was said and flipped it and then said nice chap that was a pretty nice touch of humor. Kinda insensitive to the above person’s comment but hopefully they have a good sense of humor that was pretty damn hilariously composed

@@jloud716rapper5 lmao nice essay

Very true. I used to have selective mutism and I always wanted to talk but it was like something wouldn't let me... I always felt bad when people just wanted to help me but I couldn't speak to them.

Definitely not. My mom has selective mutism. It's not as bad as it was as a child, but if she's told to speak, she can't.

Giving me "are you chocking" vine vibes

I've read somewhere that it is often for people with selective mutism to have a feeling of expectancy and this doesn't help

I agree!

lucieboi ._. Thank you for being such an open friend- I bet they felt amazing opening up to you! Keep up the good work 🥳

Aww

Wow, you are really lucky!

a playdate? i think you are too young to be on youtube..

@@cutiepiebb lol

Bruh tell me about it. Moving away from home after high school was pretty freeing because I realized I could be whoever I wanted to be. I have a nephew going on 6 and a niece 3 that have never really spoken. They’ve like struggled to get any of the right sounds out so i guess it’s something else, but it seems like he’s stopped trying and is doing what I did. And it’s frustrating to see the adults do what they always do and talk about his problem in front of him like no one’s home. And badger him with questions and words instead of just being patient and treating him like a normal human. Kids do it too obviously.

I had this exact same problem when I started secondary I wasn’t able to speak freely anymore due to the trauma from past teachers. That first year they made me take ‘nurture’ classes to help me learn how to communicate. I still struggle with being able to talk to adults now that I am now an adult.

I have this problem It was worse when I was a kid.

The diagnosis is rare. Something tells me that the people who are saying "I know someone with selective mutism" are mistaking shyness with an actual clinical disorder in the same way people mistake natural nervousness for an actual anxiety disorder or temporary sadness for depression lol

Bruh half of the comment section was like "OH YEAH I HAVE SELECT MUTISM BLAH BLAH, PEOPLE HEARD ME SPEAK, THEY DIED BLAH BLAH yeah" and if I were honest they are probably mistaking being shy to select mutism...

i have selective mutism lul

True. But I would say I feel like I have it in some sort of way, but it could just be me because I'm really shy. The other day I was at Subway and the lady who was serving us asked me what I wanted on my sandwich and I didn't talk to her at all. So my mum had to do it 🤣 Edit: also Another reason I don't talk to alot of people is because I have Anxiety :/

First doc I saw where they acknowledged the film crew has an effect on the subject

FrenchBread Lolita Charlotte I never heard a film where they talk how they- yeah you know what I mean-

FrenchBread Lolita Charlotte Just... oof

First time I've heard a narrator acknowledge their existence lmao

Damn...really put the crew under the bus for not being seamless enough XD

good story :)

When was she diagnosis ? When was the prozac used to treat her (at what age)?

@@SuomiMama she was 7 when she was diagnosed and started the Prozac then. As I stated she was only on it temporarily.

You also mentioned there was alot of therapy, was that between the ages of 5 and 7? What kind was it? Here in Finland I am fighting to get my almost 6 year old diagnosed. The speech therapist had been involved for 2 years now. And they have given some practical tips to the daycare center. But in the Fall she will start Kindergarten (6.5 years old at that time)

Me too. But, I start to speak 🗣 when, I was almost 8 years old from my childhood.

@@nathancruz9172 so you didn't speak until you were 8? My nephew is 5 and hasn't spoken yet except a few rare moments. We don't if he ever will but will love him either way.

Same for me. I'm 23 and undiagnosed

@@rachelthompson7487 yes.

I was wondering if this is some sort of autism.

Ava Taylor ahahahahhaaah 169 likes

This is the best comment so far

yes i have

Haha, that explains why I'm so sarcastic now! 😉😂

Everyone would be burnt

Natalie Grother the fact that she don’t even mouth the words or nothin

"Doesn't ever cheer". So Megan is leading......

You don’t have to cheer for cheerleading

Maggie Dogos looks incredibly dumb when she just stood there saying nothing just doing the actions

@@gregshearer423 You look incredibly dumb calling a child with a disorder "dumb"

I didnt know this was what I had.

I knew someone who had it also...a few light slaps from the father cured it.

Then they didn't have it. The treatment here is to get over the anxiety not to increase it or punish them

So you have had it your whole life?

Thank you for your kind words! Danielle (from the documentary) :)

Deaf communicate to hearing via sign language, some speak as well. The word communication is the key here

I have non verbal autism but I can’t speak they can

Heather Martin I use asl which is autism sign language

nyx eblis same

Some deaf people can speak verbally... My parents are deaf and were forced to speak in the 70s

Marion G Lmao 😆

what parent doesn’t resort to bribery? all parents get exhausted, & fed up.

@@ZaneDalton if you ain't bribin you aint tryin

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Marion G and corruption

There was. I was diagnosed in the late 70's with selective mutism.

i have selective mutism and the word “crippling” is the perfect word to describe it (sorry to bother i just felt the need to say it)

Consider yourself lucky but I wasn't in the 80s 90s even. It wasn't well known back then. I was sent to time out by teachers who called me "stubborn". After special ed classes, psych units in hospitals I lived in for month, a camp for behavioral children for the summer, I finally ended up in a residential treatment school for four grueling years. It was awful.@@rachelmartin2424

The name prior to selective mutism was elective mutism. So the name has changed.

Stella W nawww haha what else is a 8 year old supposed to “say” about herself? She probably collects them

Stella W tbf it’s quite impressive I lose all mine

Hahaha I did too

Pretty. Odd.

😂😂😂

Yes! The anxiety thinking of it makes me cry and my heart pound.

So accurate

Beautifully said.

Or like climbing a cliff when your afraid of heights. Terribly uncomfortable and frightful!

fr like we don’t want the attention of finally speaking to them like i don’t talk to my grandparents

I have ASD, and was almost selective mute as a kid (only now realizing all these things many years later). I had no idea SM was a thing outside of autism till watching this just now!

Oh my God, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I'm also on the spectrum and I was mostly nonverbal until age 6. I hope ur doing well now♥

@@YeahitsMeSylvia I am ok I have some kind of trauma but I am doing well in college & I have friends who are also autistic❤️

im so sorry you had to go through that

So sorry to hear that you experienced so much unkindness. There are decent sorts out there too, and I'm hoping that you meet more and more good people in your future. You don't deserve to be bullied, no matter what. My own child has been affected by SM for much of her life and is on the spectrum as well. It infuriates me when I hear of kids being so unkind to others. (And especially knowing some teachers behave the same way, that is really horrible.) Best wishes to you!

I probably didn't have that condition as such but after my sister died when i was 6 and having been constantly ignored or shouted at when she was ill I stopped speaking to my parents.

That was exactly my experience as a child. I remember laughing at a fellow student's joke and having a substitute teacher yell at me because I refused to speak later in class. It was horrible.

That teacher was *really* messed up.

@Chito Dʀɛaʍs Yes it is, but not uncommon unfortunately. I experienced the same thing throughout my school life with Selective Mutism. That's why raising awareness of the condition is so important! Danielle (from the documentary)

@Chito Dʀɛaʍs Exactly! Awareness and education of these conditions is an absolute must!

Some teachers are absolute pieces of shit. I wonder why they bother with it, they'd be better off being floor sweepers instead of fucking up young kids' minds. Unfortunately some ultra-authoritarian types become schoolteachers. I guess they weren't bright enough to be accepted into their local police force, so school it is. Mighty shame for their students.

Haha i would do the same most probably

Ok now that is epic.

Dude...

Haha ur joking right?

Omg hahaha he's amazing

I was super moved by that part too!

This comment is underrated 🤣🤣🤣

@Kanashi I'm up for that. No school!

@@haleyren2804 ....

Creepy Potato you’re probably like 6

@@charlotte5963 ??

Agreed

My favourite part! I came to the comments to see if anyone noticed, it was just SO wholesome😩💗

I noticed that too. The best friend began to get fidgety as if she actually felt the stress her friend was feeling and then reminded her thumbs up, thumbs down or in the middle and you could see the other little girl respond like oh ya ok I forgot for a second how to respond and then smiled and gave a thumbs up. It was cute and she has a great friend there to give her support.

@@kirstenornelas881 44:35 - you can see her friend got shy for a second there :D I wonder what they are like now, they would be the exact same age as me, around 22, as the video was recorded 12years ago. On the other hand, you can turn this into superpowers, since you're in these situations a lot, you can actually be even more confident than normal. That's how it is for me at least, although I still got a lot to work on, and still haven't talked to a girl, but yeah... long story. They seem nice, wonder if they are, or have the same character now.

I had selective mutism when I was little. I had forgotten just how frustrating it was until I was home on maternity leave as an adult. Being home with my daughter I talked less and then I just talked to my husband. When my husband noticed I wasn't answering the phone or talking to our daughter, he started asking questions. I found getting back into singing helped. Not nearly as difficult to pull myself out of as an adult but it was surprising to find it back. As a kid, when people talked to me, I would elbow my sister and she would answer for me. When I started school, I would elbow my best friend and she would talk for me. I liked people who talked a lot. I might not answer them, but I liked them.

I taught for 15. K-1 Never saw this. How unique you got too help them.

Right So proud of her

She’s adorable

He voice is also beautiful

I just wanna give her the biggest hug. You can tell how proud of herself she becomes after she speaks and she has a beautiful voice

SPOILERS

A girl in my dance class has selective mutism singing for her is no problem

I've had selective mutism until I was 15. I'm nearly 20 now and I post singing videos on my RU-vid channel :)

@Jasmine ジャズミン that's so good to hear. Just remember that it will get easier the more you talk :) xx

justme _ angie lol 😂 I read a deep conversation and then, “I don’t want to brag...”

Phoebe Hartford I deleted it because it felt kinda...rude ;-;

She has a twitter account and going by the party girl nature of some of the posts it is safe to say she is very over it.

@@bird6691 Whats the account?

He really needs to turn down on the questions. He is not helping with the constant questions.

He adjusted after meeting with Red’s support team and followed their suggestions in the end.

It's painful for him too. Even more. Why she wasn't on therapy is a question.

@@naturazpolski9213 Sometimes it's not easy to get on these programs, and it can take years for certain things to get seen by specialist. IDK about SM specifically, but for ASD here it's like 3-4 year wait minimum in certain areas due to there being a tiny support team!

It made me sad too, I'm someone who feels guilty really easily if I feel like I've upset someone and being in that situation would make me feel so trapped. Luckily I haven't had people guilt me like that yet, but I have had my younger brother try to force me to talk and even that is so uncomfortable and makes me so anxious.

Yes my dad had it until he was 5 and suddenly he started talking like a pro

What a legend

whenever people ask why i was selectively mute in elementary school that's literally my response haha

Lol

crystal THATS NOT SELECTIVE MUTISM THEN!!

Which part?

Fahanie 45:54 is a good example her huge grin is adorable

Awwwwe

@Julie Sprik God help you with all my heart.❤

1000th like

Yes! I knew as a child I was different, everyone just thought I was “shy”, but I never uttered a word. About age 10 I really wanted friends (never had them before) and I changed schools so I forced myself to speak and although I still struggle to this day I can force myself to talk, using scripts I’ve memorised over the years. But in extreme circumstances (e.g. extreme pain) I will go back to completely mute. You wouldn’t even know I’m in pain.

Ikr it was so cuttte

when she said my name is meghan to the new teacher 🥺

It was heart-warming

I worked in a daycare where there was a child with selective mutism and when you hear their voice it is very emotional!

Lol-

@Dope Cat You need to stop these comments, they're abusive and insulting. Danielle (from the documentary)

@Dope Cat I'm fine thank you, but please stop these comments.

@Dope Cat You're an absolute creep. What a try hard with that Joker pfp haha.

@Dope Cat You realize the reason people have selective mutism is because of abuse, right?

Can relate, I knew SM was a thing, but I thought it was exclusive to ASD, I only now learn it's not! I genuinely teared up watching this, It made all the feelings come rushing back and I felt so bad for the girls, but when they would smile after talking it was all calm, must of felt so good. I have ASD and ADHD and my SM got brushed off as just being shy, as it was only really strangers and people I didn't see often. So like at home, or at school (for the most part) I didn't have TOO much trouble talking, at least not once I'd settled in. If someone was genuinely friendly and outgoing I had very little trouble talking usually, but I did if I met someone I was a bit scared of (especially older people when I was really young), or even someone like me, or even just someone shy, even though we probably got along better, it was just harder as the awkward silences were more noticeable and became compounded, and then you get past that no point of return when it's just too awkward to talk now nothing's been said for so long and you can't words any more. >.< I didn't even know I had ASD till like 2-3 years ago btw! O.o

More trauma

But doing nothing isn’t helpful, it’s good to recognise the problem

I've had selective mutism since I was 4 and I used to get told of for shrugging my shoulders and moving my tongue in my mouth and in year 1 my mum was new to it and she made me talk to my teacher and make the teacher walk in while I was talking I cried :)

My mum helped me do interventions up to year 6 then now I speak in high school I hated it when people asked me questions

yeah, I have it.. I don't really talk to anyone except my dad or at school. I want to though but it's hard

Well done for sharing :)

Thank you for sharing.

Don’t worry it made sense! It’s nice to hear someone whose had the condition speak up.

That’s is so sad but you should be proud of overcoming it

Its really brave of you=) keep going on I have a clue where youre coming from amd its nice to see someone be so brave.

whats her tweet? 😄

really?

Oh yay thx for the update on her. And Danielle is here in the comment section. She’s a lovely soul.

do u think you can make yourself scared to speak?

Moondog Does your uncle seem disinterested in learning about your cousin on an individual level? Seems to have very little curiosity about her likes and dislikes? Is your uncle emotionally unavailable? Does he emotionally neglect your cousin? People with selective mutism have social anxiety disorder/avoidant personality disorder. Those are disorders where the sufferer are very shy. This shyness/low self-esteem is known by psychologists to be caused by childhood emotional neglect, which is a type of childhood trauma, according to Dr. Melanie Joy in her book "Strategic Action for Animals". Dr. Jonice Webb has written a book for adults who suffered from parents who neglected their emotional needs as kids titled "Running On Empty", because childhood trauma can leave adults feeling empty inside (a contant sense of longing). She says that you can still end up with childhood trauma if your dad only interacted with you as if you were a generic child. You know how supermarket cashiers say the exact same thing to every customer?: "How is your day today?" , "Did you find everything you were looking for?" "Have a nice day". The parent doesn't know the kid's favorite foods, disliked foods, favorite number, favorite color, favorite book, what grades the kid is getting in school, etc. A non-neglectful parent would ask you questions that could not be asked to any child: if you are a fan of ballet, he might ask you, "Which ballet slipper color is your favorite to wear?", "What do you think of The Nutcracker music for performances?". According to Dr. Kirk Honda's video on Mary Trump's book on Donald Trump, if you are an adult that was emotionally neglected as a child, you should get your parent who neglected you to start giving to what he should have given you as a child now as an adult. If the parent refuses, then the next best thing would be to have the therapist act as if they are the sufferer's father and act in a nurturing way towards the sufferer. Thais Gibson has videos about this too, which she calls "re-parenting". The book "The Flight From Intimacy" by therapists Barry Weinhold and Janae Weinhold have suggestions like having an adult feed an adult a baby bottle while holding them. I have no idea if that would be effective or not. The book "The Emotionally Unavailable Man" is also about men who weren't nurtured as kids, weren't given affection as kids, and so now they have a fear of intimacy. They avoid intimacy by not talking. I also heard that most speech impediments are not caused by a physical problem, but by some sort of emotional trauma, so a person with a speech impediment would be better off seeing a psychodynamic or trauma-informed therapist rather than a speech-language pathologist. Maybe EMDR or Ericksonian hypnotherapy or re-parenting would tap into the unconscious mind where trauma is held; I don't know. I have talked to some very shy people, and they all had fathers who were uninvolved in learning about their children. This is true for the RU-vidr BulletProofMonkeon; he said that when he was a kid, his dad took him to a pub and made him sit at a different table with a bag of potato chips while he chatted the entire time with his friends, not including his son in the conversation. So I think his social anxiety comes from feeling rejected by his dad. The psychodynamic school of Sigmund Freud would say that the kid thinks to himself, "if even my dad doesn't care to know me, how can I expect strangers to be interested in my opinion? They won't." So just as the kid has learned not to approach their father for nurturance, they learn not to approach strangers for nurturance.

@@moondog7694 please don’t analyse an entire family dynamic from a 2 sentence comment, no matter if you’re correct or not it’s intrusive and not your place to comment

groundbreaking

no one asked

Crogg88 your profile picture I Stan

Crogg88 best profile picture 😂

He's trying sooooo hard!! :(

I imagined him listening to the talking book at 2 am crying with happiness. ❤️

When he skipped down the garden afterwards 😭😭😭

i love u

Anastasia Kol you don’t know, they it might just be for the camera. So many thing happen behind the scene

Anastasia Kol not yet anyway, usually happens a few years later

I got bullied for not being able to do sports very well but that's due to my dyspraxia and the doctors saidI wasn't going to walk and I was going to be mute so she's very lucky

Lulu Bell honestly when I had it all the kids would either answer for me after a while like if it was my name or something or be so lovely and caring about it they’d sometimes say ‘ she’s really shy Miss’ lol

Of course they wouldn't bully her when there is a camera

kimmquake I had selective mutism, and I had one friend in 6th grade- it’s funny because we didn’t have much in common but she was so welcoming. I think it may have spurred in the intrigue of me not speaking at first but we then hanged out enough times that we would have many sleepovers. It’s sorta sad how our friendship ended, since it only ended due to my sister having a fight with her and my parents being involved with her parents...But I can tell you, a friend means so much to that person with selective mutism, we may not want to speak but we do get lonely

Sounds exactly like me in primary school. Shy and quiet when outside, and wacky at home

that's awesome. i had selective mutism in elementary school, yet some girl decided to befriend me anyway even though all i would do was smile to her. i had been struggling to find friends, so when i finally met someone who was actually willing to be patient with me instead of bombarding me with questions about why i was so silent, i actually opened up and began talking to her after some years. she didn't act surprised and she treated me like a normal person afterwards which was the best feeling i'd ever had. so, thank you for being patient with your friend. i'm sure it meant the world to her that someone thought she was worth it.

I knew a girl two years younger than me who had something similar. She didn't talk for a long time since she first started school, (I went to a sort of private school with only 15 kids), she wouldn't talk even to teachers. But guess what, no one forced her to speak. She eventually started speaking, but really quietly. I was one of the only people who she would confidently speak to since I was the oldest girl in the school (literally), and for some reason every single child/young girl likes me. She did overcome it and started speaking loudly though. That was 5 years ago. She is now in 6th grade.

Could it be social anxiety? I have it and I rarely if ever talk out in public...I'm 61 years old.

wow that's really sweet and accepting of you guys. you all deserve a cookie

I wish my friends were like that but a lot of them cut me off because “I was weird”

@@winonadaphne6445 lol cookie😂

Isabella Adams this is soooo sweet

so good

Terrible....

that’s heartbreaking i’m so sorry, if you still know her please give her so so much love

If you ever see her, tell her I am rooting for her

💔

Even I think it is the reason...

What are SSRIs?

@@catinthehat4989 medication for anxiety.

msdarkstar1012 I had that too. I could actually be very chatty around kids I knew accepted me and wouldn’t judge me. Including family. But with strangers, I’d find it intimidating and scary to even let out a peep for the fear of being judged or mocked. I eventually grew out of it though and people now people just want me to shut up mostly. 😂

Understood. Some people I would only write letters to. Never had a name for it. I mean, I would say hi and stuff but was afraid of being judged for important things so I would only say them in writing. Still some things I will only voice by text because I'm too afraid to say them, especially to certain friends& mentors. Its not selective mutism, but there's still an aspect of anxiety there when I will write certain things instead of say them to certain people or have to take the time to brave up first.

were you bullied because of an accent. Im just curious

Abby the Dancer they didn’t laugh at the way I talked, they laughed about what I said. I don’t remember what I said, but I definitely remember the reaction.

I got my diagnose when I was 3 or 4... I am 22 now and still suffer from mutism.. :/

And did you see how proud she was of herself!?!😭

Yeah when she talked to the film crew in the end was adorable!☺️

And the smile! It's contagious. :D

She's so precious little doll, I hope the best future for her

can u drop the time stamp

My son’s teacher had his friend record him on iPad too, last year. It was amazing. Great idea. You seem like a lovely teacher.

Need more teachers like you!

I love that she didn’t push her to hard that it made her uncomfortable, although I feel someone should personally ask her the same question so she is prepared for it

So cute

Fr

Yeah

yeah, I'd be so worried. my class (like the people in my grade) is pretty nice, but I know other grades are a lot worse.

I agree, they are so nice. Also amazing profile picture 💜

For sure!! And it seemed like it helped her confidence so much. I was so proud to hear her talk at the end Also hello ami I hope you're having a wonderful day!!

This.. so true.. w my youngest son i would always tell him he talked to much.. he's 15 now(still talks all the time) but now I have a 2 year old.. who is yet to talk. Embrace every single word they say... my perspective has definitely changed. I'd give anything to hear my baby girl say anything to me. ❤💫

So true. My communication seems to be in body language as I have autism. I never actually realised I never communicated any emotions I just spoke about birds or my interests. It wasn't until I started therapy two years ago that I realised I never actually told anyone my feelings and since I was diagnosed with ASD, everyone has pointed out that when I get anxious (and I mean ANXIOUS, like to the point of crying) I will shake my leg. I never realised that until then because I couldn't even recognise my own feelings so it is like my own body is communicating with me as well.

Sometimes I have entire conversations about actually really deep things through specifically gay memes on instagram

I suffer from the same type of communication issues. There are only a few people I can actually tall to. I just can't talk properly when I am not able to predict what the person is going to say or expect what to say. If I know the person well already, then I am comfortable sharing what I have to say with them. I have tried putting myself out and talking to strangers. Sometimes I am convinced everyone else can read my mind. I think they are just reading my body language, but I always notice a change in posture and positioning when I have a specific thought. I think it comes from a fear of having others actually hearing what you are thinking, rather than what you want to say.

lakon childs I have asd as well, it’s not to that extent; but there are certain things that I can’t understand about myself when it comes to emotions, or sharing feelings. Like when it comes to someone I like I can’t make myself tell them or even my friends (I’m 17, not at the age when girls first liking people romantically) I also just can’t translate what I feel in to words, if I’m stressed, I kind of know why or what it feels like, but explaining is so difficult.

@@squidneythesquid2487 When I was that age school and work put extra social pressure on me. It's normal to freeze in the face of fear. I throw myself into situations that make my heart race so I am more accustomed to the anxiety that comes with talking to people. Try walking up to someone you like or someone who scares you and say hello. Talk about their day and things you like. After a while, it gets a little easier. It takes practice, but I can approach at store counters and at work without feeling like someone is wrapping their hands around my throat anymore.

What time stamp?

@@analeemiranda very last part of the video

Allyson Terhune okay thank you 48:11

Your story is mine as well. Thank you.

This is awful. I don't mean to be rude, but your mom sounds like she has her own mental issues. Parents have no idea what they do to a person by telling them such lies in childhood. I hope you find healing. {{{hugs}}}

I dont understand how the parents let it go on for years. They should have been taking steps when it first appeared.

@@tubester4567 All of our parents got us help from a very young age. Selective Mutism is such a rare condition, there are very few experts in it, and as such very few widely known treatment techniques that can be used to help the sufferer. Danielle (from the documentary)

@@daniellef3023 Fair enough. Hope you're doing well.

@@tubester4567 Thank you :)

It's like the fact there trying to bribe them to talk...I mean don't they think if they could they would ?

They are and as someone who suffers with it: thanks for making a documentary but this actually makes people think we're jerks and not trying.

I did something kind of similar to these kids, and I know exactly how they feel. They will 100% get out of it but it will take some time.

exactly! i had selective mutism as a child, and i didn't choose it. I was heavily bullied and it was really traumatic for me, if it was a choice i would have talked lmao.

It’s an anxiety disorder which is unwittingly reinforced by family members & teachers every day. Step one: Stop using the white board or giving the child alternate ways to communicate. Step two: stop communicating for them & accommodating their wishes when they point, nod or otherwise try to get what they want without talking. This is not unkind. Imagine how hard it is being the only kid not talking at school. It requires a total, combined effort by the adults & some siblings. Eliminate “speaking aides”, a person assigned to help the child get by not talking at school with a “jotter” & constant interpretation of what the child feels, thinks or wants. Not accommodating the selective mutism works & the child feels esteemed when they do speak, this is what reduces the anxiety. Do not accommodate their rules. The phrase “face your fears” is true in every sense here. Notice how much the adults talk when the child does not. Removing these accommodations helps in months. Eleven years of feeling “special” but, not in a good way as Danielle reports the mutism did to her is too many years lost. Often or even always, the behavior of the adults around the child is neglected when it’s exactly that which keeps it going. Blame is not at issue here; it’s an unintentional dynamic.

@Luna Saito wow how long did you spend writing that....

@Luna Saito Would you mind detailing more of the psychological factors or selective mutism? I'm genuinely curious. Also, what affects which people are easiest to speak to?

@reshi p Just to clarify, we were having help just as you suggested, whether that be therapy or medication. We all agreed to take part in the documentary to raise awareness of the condition and to use our experiences to help others. Danielle (from the documentary)

Danielle F how are you doing? :) how old are you now and has anything major changed for you? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!

@@Dee912 Hi! I'm more than happy to answer questions :) I'm 26, and just about to finish a PhD in mathematics. I speak to everyone now, although I still deal with severe Social Anxiety, as well as some other anxiety disorders, on a daily basis. Things have definitely changed a lot for me over the 10 years since this was filmed!

At what time did she say that?

The Girl That Cried 47:26

She’s actually 19 now and still hasn’t spoken to her grandpa /:

Alexandrea Geidel oh, how did you find that out :(

Oh, the reactions when people finally *do* hear me speak. It was part of why my selective got so bad and still is

Cringe Corner I can definitely relate, people would think it’s funny to say “woW ShE hAs A vOiCe” if I said something once in a full moon and if anything it just embarrassed me

OMG YESS i dont have selective mutism but i have this with other things. In 1st and 2nd grade i never tried to hide the fact my teeth were falling from my parents, and once when i got this award at school for behaving good or something (it was a pretty big deal at the time lol) i cried when i got it because i didnt like that people were congratulating me like that. I wasnt even aware why i felt like that back then. I just did and onky years later i understand why lol

YES SAME HERE!!

Omg same!! Wow this is the most relatable comment ever❤️

Do you have a caregiver/guardian/parent, usually your father, who seems disinterested in you? Seems to have very little curiosity about your likes and dislikes? Is he emotionally unavailable? Does he emotionally neglect you? People with selective mutism have social anxiety disorder/avoidant personality disorder. Those are disorders where the sufferer are very shy. This shyness/low self-esteem is known by psychologists to be caused by childhood emotional neglect, which is a type of childhood trauma, according to Dr. Melanie Joy in her book "Strategic Action for Animals". Dr. Jonice Webb has written a book for adults who suffered from parents who neglected their emotional needs as kids titled "Running On Empty", because childhood trauma can leave adults feeling empty inside (a contant sense of longing). She says that you can still end up with childhood trauma if your dad only interacted with you as if you were a generic child. You know how supermarket cashiers say the exact same thing to every customer?: "How is your day today?" , "Did you find everything you were looking for?" "Have a nice day". The parent doesn't know the kid's favorite foods, disliked foods, favorite number, favorite color, favorite book, what grades the kid is getting in school, etc. A non-neglectful parent would ask you questions that could not be asked to any child: if you are a fan of ballet, he might ask you, "Which ballet slipper color is your favorite to wear?", "What do you think of The Nutcracker music for performances?". According to Dr. Kirk Honda's video on Mary Trump's book on Donald Trump, if you are an adult that was emotionally neglected as a child, you should get your parent who neglected you to start giving to what he should have given you as a child now as an adult. If the parent refuses, then the next best thing would be to have the therapist act as if they are the sufferer's father and act in a nurturing way towards the sufferer. Thais Gibson has videos about this too, which she calls "re-parenting". The book "The Flight From Intimacy" by therapists Barry Weinhold and Janae Weinhold have suggestions like having an adult feed an adult a baby bottle while holding them. I have no idea if that would be effective or not. The book "The Emotionally Unavailable Man" is also about men who weren't nurtured as kids, weren't given affection as kids, and so now they have a fear of intimacy. They avoid intimacy by not talking. I also heard that most speech impediments are not caused by a physical problem, but by some sort of emotional trauma, so a person with a speech impediment would be better off seeing a psychodynamic or trauma-informed therapist rather than a speech-language pathologist. Maybe EMDR or Ericksonian hypnotherapy or re-parenting would tap into the unconscious mind where trauma is held; I don't know. I have talked to some very shy people, and they all had fathers who were uninvolved in learning about their children. This is true for the RU-vidr BulletProofMonkeon; he said that when he was a kid, his dad took him to a pub and made him sit at a different table with a bag of potato chips while he chatted the entire time with his friends, not including his son in the conversation. So I think his social anxiety comes from feeling rejected by his dad. The psychodynamic school of Sigmund Freud would say that the kid thinks to himself, "if even my dad doesn't care to know me, how can I expect strangers to be interested in my opinion? They won't." So just as the kid has learned not to approach their father for nurturance, they learn not to approach strangers for nurturance. There's a good description of this in the chapter titled "The Quiet Man" in the book "Red Flags!" by Gary Aumiller and Daniel Goldfarb, who specialize in criminal profiling. They're not saying Quiet Men are criminals; it's just that they are experts in pegging people based on their childhoods of a father who was absent or uninvolved, or lots of verbal abuse in the family, or both parents died when young. That's in the quiz section where it lists the childhood commanlities of "The Quiet Man".

@@moondog7694 oh my god stop it these comments are both intrusive and unnecessary, it’s not your business Additionally, I have social anxiety and I’m very ‘shy’ and my father was extremely loving and caring. It just happens sometimes. Not everything stems from how people were raised in childhood

Aw amazing!!!

That’s beautiful

@@moondog7694 interesting, speaking for myself i never really noticed anyone interested in knowing about me when i was a kid. I don't remember having that emotional bond with anyone and i have 7 other siblings and I'm the youngest at that. I've had SM since probably before i could even speak. I do know there were physical and emotional/verbal abuse between my parents and they broke up when i was 2. But idk I think SM is a complex and unique disorder in itself, sometimes i do go back to my childhood and try to figure out if i went through some trauma that would explain my anxiety/depression...when it comes down to it I cannot deny that I didn't.

I get that

When I was 6 or 7 I actually followed a woman out of a shop thinking she was my mom. Luckily I wasn't traumatized by this event (my mom perhaps was a bit when she realized I wasn't with her in the shop though).

when i was young my parents were picking me up from school. i thought i saw my mom walk in and wanted to “scare” her by grabbing on to one of her legs. when i grabbed on the lady’s leg and looked up and saw it wasn’t my mom i ran away crying

My friend got in his dad's car after school except it wasn't her dad. Same car, black male and same hat he wears. She unbuckled and jumped out lol

Nanya Bus. I did the same thing! I got in and started ranting about my day. I didn’t notice I was in the wrong car until the driver chuckled. I apologized and ran out.

No

I saw red speaking in one of the comment section and she said she hasn't spoken to her grandad till now she's all grown up 19 years old she speaks to who she wants is quite sad she hasn't spoken to him poor him

Kaykay Luv Where?

@Ruby Smith www.bbc.com/news/stories-48557674

As an adult, you should be mature enough to have empathy for a fearful kid, I think.

@@kaykayluv7531 This is correct. At the time of filming this documentary (10 years ago) Red spoke to 8 people. She can now speak to lots, but not to some close family members. The more she wants to be able to speak to someone, the harder it is. It is really hard to get your head around the fact that she can speak to a 'stranger' but not someone she really loves.

Please please report this to your school, you may be a child in education but you have a voice and this treatment is not okay! Poor kid I can imagine that’ll set him back so much and would have made it so much worse :(

Disgusting. That's the exact opposite of what you should do.

I’m speechless. Why do schools hire people like this, that poor student probably feels like the whole class hates him.

Um I hope you reported that wth?? That’s terrible.

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?! That's disgusting! Please report her!

Wow. Really amazing. To take the time to do all that.... wow.

I honestly wondered why more parents/educators didn't learn at least basic signs.

My kid was diagnosed at 3 yrs old. But started talking at 5 yrs old. Her kindergarten teacher was amazing and made her feel safe enough to talk.

Oh my goodness what an angel

My brother Had the same problem. But it hasn't resolved completely, he's 15 now and I'm very worried because we live in a small town in pakistan and we don't have helpful teachers or any child psychiatrists. Can anybody tell me what to do to help him??

That’s such a heartwarming story💜 Seriously, there has to be a film or book about it 😃

She almost looked shocked like she did it, you could see the stress build up as the people calling their names got closer to her, she struggled a bit with her name, but when it got to her age she was loving the fact she'd managed to say her name and got well excited after the easier telling of her age, it melted my heart I swear!