Ranking Mario Kart Wii tracks on how safe they are 

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Because of a single stairway, you ranked Daisy Circuit significantly lower than what is essentially storming the beaches of Normandy (Shy Guy Beach) with all the literal bombs being shot at you.

The chain chomps in Peach Gardens are clearly trained. The ones in Mario Circuit are chained because they will attack anybody near, but these are guard dogs that follow strict paths and will ignore non-threats.

if daisy’s circuit was considered that dangerous, coconut mall should’e been *so* much higher 😭 the height you fall from in daisy’s circuit is SO MUCH lower compared to where you’re launching out of the mall 😭😭

The cataquacks on peach beach would be killing machines they launch you 20 feet in the air endlessly and are decently fast too

Wario's Gold Mine is a very dangerous track. Gold Mines can get really hot, and the bats are dangerous figures. No crowd either

I’m honestly surprised Grumble Volcano didn’t go straight to you will die. The place is literally falling apart and sinking into the lava. Spend 5 minutes there and most of the track would probably be long gone.

Daisy Circuit: “oh god that’s really dangerous” Ghost Vally 2: “it’s not very dangerous so let’s go with ‘take caution’”

moonview has crazy drivers and literal bomb cars, how could that possibly be in the same tier as a little village with no cars and the only dangerous thing being a 1 floor drop

Thank you so much for this advice. Was planning on taking a trip to bowser’s castle this weekend, but you have shown me the dangers I could face 😮‍💨

Coconut Mall literally has a giant drop where if you fall you’re falling onto CONCRETE.

I would not put Daisy Circuit under “Dangerous”. At worst, it belongs under “Take Caution” because of the amount of cones there are. Even though it’s harder than Mario Circuit, I still think Daisy Circuit is safer.

Here beaches with animals capable of launching your car dozens of meters in the air or terrorist throwing bombs at you, a desert with gigant stones falling on your way and a literally haunted mansion with walls falling into the void are all considered safer than your average city drive like Daisy Circuit

i like that you're kind of evaluating these as picnic locations, like about how much grass there is and stuff. 10/10 I love it unironically

I would rank Dry Dry Ruins considerably lower, owing to the fact that the interior of the ruins is actively collapsing and filling up with sand while the race is happening.

Mkwii custom tracks need a new tier below “You will die”

You really underestimated the danger of the boost panels. Those things are gonna send you flying, lots of extra danger

The music choices throughout were impeccable. Was not expecting to be chilling to the Tomodachi Life shop tune during a discussion about mario characters actually dying

Did you forget about the mobile bombs capable of leveling a small house on moonview highway.

When he was talking about the daisy circuit shortcut being a “horrible prank” I thought he was talking about the jump scare 💀

actually, moo moo meadows is the most dangerous track in the entire series

Biologically speaking, the only characters in Mario Kart (in general BTW, not just Wii) that can survive in space are Dry Bones, King Boo, Rosalina, and Dry Bowser. I guess you could also argue that Rob the Robot counts, but I wouldn't.

You forget one things about rainbow road. As it is in space since there isnt any pressure so every bodyfluid you have will boil and evaporate nearly instantanously. Which will cause one of the most painfull death possible in about 15 seconds. Thats how you actually die in space Also in N64 bowser castle there is actually plant in the castle garden so its probably not that deadly. You can actually be near lava unprotected, the real issue with lava and volcano are the toxic gas that will kill you extremly fast. Thats why the raging volcano map is actually as deadly as rainbow road, you will end up as a pompei mummy, while I think N64 bowser castle has only security issue. (There is plant so no toxic gas)

Daisy Circuit should be completely safe, in my opinion. Even the stair section does not seem too bad

It seems like Ghost Valley is a boardwalk, so it’s assumed that there is water a good bit below the track. Even though there is water, it’s very likely to be contaminated, so it’s better to put it in “Dangerous.”

Dry Dry Ruins should be a bit lower than “Take Caution”. The amount of falling sand inside the temple in each lap increases, which implies that someone could suffocate in there.

I hope you do this for every Mario Kart game, I'd like to see videos like that

bro compared a nice ride through a lovely safe old town at evening to a literal highway at night with cliffs, dangerous driving and freakin BOMB CARTS

Technically, SNES Mario circuit 3 should be in the You Will Die tier. If you look in the background, the planet this course is on has three suns.

moo moo meadows is a sleeper dangerous track, those fence posts are pretty sharp

I feel like the colors of the tier list should be swapped. Typically associations are red with danger, orange with warning, yellow with caution, green as good to go, and blue as peaceful and calm. Not like it kills the video or anything though.

i remember seeing a portal osha violations video and i think mario kart would be a fun series to breakdown. how many osha violations each track has

20:48 Oh god, it was so funny that he accidentally put Bowser Castle in "Completely safe", but even safer that Moo Moo meadows😂

Mental how Coconut Mall has a bigger fall than Daisy Circuit but remains in mostly safe

Just gonna say: you can easily die if you slam your car into a deer. I can only imagine how worse hitting a cow is, and considering the cows wander the stage on their own accord, it adds this element of RNG that makes things much more dangerous than a normal racetrack. Overall, this should be in Take Caution tier, this track is easily more dangerous than Luigi Circuit.

14:30 about this comment: You'd actually die by burning from friction when you hit the atmosphere. Also, water is one of the worst things to fall into from great heights, it acts solid if you hit it fast enough because it doesn't compress, and if you take any injury from the fall, you will likely drown, not that taking injuries on land puts you in a good spot if you're outside a city, but you have a bit of a better chance of finding or being found by someone before you die.

Moonview should have been rated much more dangerous than it was. There are LITERAL BOMBS driving around. Also, as a highway, sharp turns with no guardrail is a huge no-no

I do wonder how daisy circuit is less safe than a jungle

I think the chain chomps should be compared to a dog, since that's what they were designed after. And since in super mario bros 3, the chainchomps can leave the posts (their origin game btw), after enough time, I'd say dangerous.

But the shortcut is optional is Daisy circut. I see where you're coming from, but i would argue the danger of hitting a cow is much greater than going out of your way to hit a boost pad

You also gotta consider that Bowser’s Castle is straight up designed for you to die. Bowser doesn’t want Mario in his castle, so he has to make as much precautions as possible to make sure he doesn’t get in, and never tries to get in again.

🪦 here lies Toad, he fell all the way out the video to find his resting place down here He was a loving mushroom, but also very loud at times Rest in peace, little mushroom

In daisy circuit, you’ve also gotta keep in mind that a regular person might try to take a stroll on the sidewalk and get hit by a driver. I think that knocks it down a few because of that false sense of security.

14:38 The way I see it, there could possibly oxygen in that specific location of space, but it’s still extremely dangerous due to the falling risk, even into other sections of the platforms.

If you were in grumble volcano that close to lave your flesh would melt and if it didn't your vehicle would just explode

Just remember to bring your bunker with you if there's going to be a race because for some reason they just hand the racers live bombs, even in shopping malls.

Thank you for helping me decide which place to go to for my vacation. Grumble Volcano sounds like an excellent place to stay!

Moo Moo Meadows is so dangerous man. Not only are you gonna go flying due to a literal cow hitting you car, but youre probably gonna die depending on how fast you are going and your lack of any safety equipment like helmets or seatbelts. Also for the Chain Chomps, imagine of a 10ft tall rabid dog made of iron or some shit like that is lunging toward you

Fun facts, freezing is not actually instant death. Nurses have a saying - you’re not dead til you’re warm and dead. The cold can do a lot to prevent you from dying, and in certain cases (like getting wasted while the titanic is sinking) it’s possible to prevent your blood from freezing when hanging around in ice water. There will probably be damage to extremities but given how folks are getting flash frozen when dropped into out of bounds areas, the core temperatures aren’t taking immediately. (To clarify, I’m not saying they’ll be fine obviously but they may not be dead yet)

Solution for all the tracks that have water to not drown: if you are a kid like at least 5-9 years old wear a lifejacket if you are 10-♾️ years old use a floatie

I would love to see this type of tier list for Mario Kart 8 tracks

I would put coconut mall in extreme lack of safety precautions because well I don't see any security there so who is helping you if you get robbed

Please make on for DS and 8. This is a super fun concept.

11:55 It’s not safer than Daisy Circuit. You can absolutely just not take the shortcut in DC if you don’t want to - but you cannot avoid having to go through the falling pillars in Dry Dry Ruins. Plus, you’d more likely survive the fall in DC than being mortally crushed by a pillar in DDR. Same thing with Yoshi Falls (16:13). You argued one could just take the wooden bridge path instead of the waterfall, so why not apply the same logic to Daisy Circuit (especially when it’s just a shortcut - aka not part of the main road like in Yoshi Falls)? Honestly, there were multiple points throughout the video where your logic didn’t seem to be the best. I still really enjoyed it, though.

Maybe after visiting Grumble Volcano you could go to the gift shop, assuming you survived and escaped with no serious injuries, and buy a t-shirt that says "I Survived Grumble Volcano"

Make a sequel where you rank maps based on how easy it is to get out of bounds and how broken the boundaries are

Thank you! I was thinking of moving moonview highway but now i know not to try.

The highway with bomb cars, beach with pirates, falling desert ruins, and mall with huge drop to concrete are ranked too high imo

Thanks, bean! I'll take more caution next time i play Mario Kart Wii so my Character don't has to go to the hospital or even worse, die

I found it funny that 'Completly Safe' is red and 'You will DIE' is blue.

So you are trying to say I should visit Ghost Valley 2 before I visit places like Peach Gardens or Daisy Circuit? I think not.

I wish you would've showed more of the maps while you explained your reasoning. It's infinitely better than just staring at a ranking list.

I think if you fall off on Ghost Valley you will die. I would switch that with Daisy Circuit. You don't have to take that shortcut.

8:11 "You fall a great distance because you walked up some stairs" Now why did I think about OMORI at this quote?

No toads were hurt during the making of this video

And Grumble Volcano will keep collapsing until you go down with it.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 10K 🎉🎉🎉🎉 🎉

Don't worry ! Lakitu will be always here for you 👍.

Wii rainbow road, where dinosaurs became extinct because they ARE the meteors.

I know they're unfinished but holy moly these are amazing!

Another thing moonview highway has going for it is that the drivers use their blinkers when they change lanes. More than I can say for many areas I've lived in

bro, ghost valley is dangerous as hell, like, the ghosts, they are dead for a reason

hi beanzard,just want to let u know that u r one of my favorite mario kart wii youtubers,as you do really anything in this game,and ur video quality is fabulous,and you talk really calmly,my hands click faster than light when u upload by the way,your amazing ❤❤❤

I think peach gardens should be much higher. peach gardens has the big house you can go to and even if you cant access, there is a full on safe section before you finish a lap. There is probably something there because its opened in mario kart 8.

I clicked on this thinking it would be a joke video like the Smash Bros OSHA violation video I've seen around but it's completely serious and rationally put together and I am absolutely all here for it, awesome video

I feel like I should mention that I've seen this video idea only one other time from a RU-vidr named J0rts. Now it isn't like you can't do this video just because it's similar, but I feel like maybe you should give the guy a little... Oh wait you did in the description. Props to you then! Good video!

0:34 I've seen a very interesting video from 1970 something about a race in South Africa I don't think I wanna ever think of again

I think moo moo meadows is very very dangerous. Driving through a race track full of cows is bound to cause accidents

Awesome vid, love ur mario kart videos! Could you do this for mk8 deluxe?

Chain chomps are based off an angry dog that Miyamoto was scared of as a kid.

i would live in one of that dc houses if its the 8 deluxe version it looks so comfy

The thing with Peach Gardens is that the chain chomps are not in a restricted area, they free roam. so if one finds you, its over

29:57 funny idea. What if your cake is that track and the candle is the grass?

0:06 Not to a location in Wii, but one in 8 (London).

ah yes, I do love my Christmas.holidays within 40ºC degrees (104 Fº)

Cool video, but honestly if you argue that Daisy's Circuit is dangerous because you can fall after the stairs then Wario's Goldmine is straight "You will die"...

Not the 50ft jump off the second story of coconut mall bro would die instantly

Clicked on this accidentally but I’m glad I ended up here…

I think gba bowser castle is in the guaranteed death category with rainbow road, the metal on the lava bridge is red because of the sheer atmospheric temperature that close to an ocean of lava

This guy deserves more subscribers ngl. I loved this video, good job. :)

I would put moonview highway in the "extreme lack of safety precautions" tier or the "you will die" tier since there are literally bomb cars driving on the road and just touching them ever so slighty is enough to make it an explode

I love the great content in beanzard videos

1:35 : "It's gonna be the bottom of completely safe" 17:24 : puts mario raceway at the bottom of completely safe

Can't wait for my stay at rainbow road!

Glad to see another Koopa troopa bullet bike player

How is Moonview Highway not in the “You will Die” section? It literally has bomb cars that can blow you up

"It's the safest one that will kill you"

"The average temperature there maybe is like 65, maybe bring a sweatshirt" lol. lmao even. that's prime t-shirt and shorts weather

Did you forget that Coconut Mall has its drivers driving off of an escalator, driving up an escalator, and jumping off a three story mall

What! moon view highway has mad driving bombs