Ranking Tour de France Bikes From Worst To Best 

Unfortunately you guys have really bad taste

The smartest one in the room was the mafia lady, she's got taste, the boys favorite bike is all black with a tramp stamp logo on the down tube and wheels?

This is rating of a paint jobs, not an actual bikes...

I personally disagree with almost all of these takes 😂

Team Total Energie - Envie bike a 10/10??? What on earth you guys are on? Thanks Emily!!!!

the enve logo looks like a tribal tattoo from the 90s 🤣 hideous!

Everything is boring but a black bike with white enve logos is 10/10. Makes sense 🤔

I am convinced that living in low-contrast Newcastle has caused your disdain for colours

Wrong title. You ranked paint schemes. Edit: 'chi' in Italian is said 'key'. Mispronouncing one of the oldest and most famous bike brands is just poor form team.

These guys have no taste.

All white bike - boring. All black bike - 10/10. Makes total sense

Hopefully the girl is there to make sense of all this nonsense. Black frame with logos 10/10... wtf

wtf r these people smoking??? there ratings suck and the envee was the worst one

You guys are OFF YOUR NUT if you rate that Enve higher than the Willier. And you rate the Enve a 10 and a virtually identical Look an 8? Absolutely out of your gourds.

Black Enve 10/10? they clearly wanna get sponsored by Enve 🤣 What a bunch tasteless lads 🤣

The Willier with the blue and silver should’ve been the top if not one of the top. I vehemently go against all black bikes

How can I get 17:09 of my life back?

These weirdos just make shit up. Unfollow them and move on.

Emily the only one with taste 😂😂😂

Seemed so inconsistent in the scoring as it’s old school and love plain but likes the bike with so many logos, good summary. They like plain black with loads of logos - don’t take recommendations from these 2

Is it opposite day already?

Most of the bikes would look better without the branding on the rims or with shallow rims and black walled tyres.

THE BORA BIKE BORING? MAAAATE?! Did you even look at the bike? There's litterly nothing boring about it.

The best comments actually came from Emily - were you guys DUI??

I disagree with a lot of this - however - bianchi. What are they playing at? I’ve got 7 bianchis ranging from 2006-2020 including a rim brake Specialissima and a disc brake XR4 which are both stunning to look at. I shan’t be ‘upgrading’ to the latest ones.

That Envee Melee looks like a witch's broomstick, no mas That DARE looks like a Sith lord, and I mean that in a good way

So, you're judging on the paint jobs and how they look? Maybe you should change the title to "best looking" bike.

Watched because I thought you would be commenting on the quality and actual use and rideability of the bikes, not what you think about the paint and stickers. I was at the pump track last week and asked an eight year old what kind of bike he rode? He said a red one. Was that you?

Inconsistent scores - 1 point down for whatever, then 4 points down for a seatpost? I mean WTF.

Baldie has horrific taste 😂

Love you guys, but this is the worst video you made lately. This is just judging paintjobs, and an inconsistent one.

Enve vs dare logic is flawed...

What dont you like about the dare? The bike 😂

Please tell me how Enve gets a 10/10 when it looks like they printed a sticker out and put it on the head tube? When you compared it to a wilier or colnago, it looks like someone who is first year out of college as a designer…. It’s so cheap looking. Get rid of the square and just put Enve on the front in white. Ahahahah and the location in the down tube is off?? And the super tall head tube… it just looks like you’re climbing up a mountain. It will become more stealthy with next iterations for sure. But classic , Enve bias here.

This idiocy is why I'll never subscribe. Cooked.

now u know who sponsored this episode....

EF bike is disgusting Enve is basic blah

Personally I love the Redbull and the Willier with the ice paint

Proves you guys are tasteless, and your insight into bikes and cycling is based on paint jobs because that's the limit of your knowledge. 😂😂😂

Query: Any of the talking heads here graphic designers or bicycle engineers? 🤔

you are extremely talkative 👎👎👎👎

Ridiculous rating. Cervelo 8/10. Envie? boring. My fav is the Blue Pinarello Dogma.

Equipment geeks love this kind of stuff. For those who believe they can buy speed and fitness...carry on

At least you haven't put 'roasting' in the title , then go on to do very little roasting.

Fitting the 2 lads in the video are wearing all black and white T-shirts with white text on them.

You guys have awful taste

delet these bullshit takes….

Can I have the 17 minutes and 9 seconds of my life back? What a waste of tiime - you didn't judge the bikes, you judged paint jobs. I thought you were going to actually give us ride quality or component info. Nope, just visual critiques...and you contridicted yourselves with liking plain, boring black and not liking some of the other "plain, boring" ones, then gave graphically busy bikes like Cannondale's a high score! Again, a waste of time!

In short: They evaluate bikes by their colors and designs. There is a plain black ugly bike, but it has the enve logo so they give it 10/10 just because it has 3 logos on the wheels and they can't afford to buy it... 🙄🤦‍♂ fuck logic

I tuned in hoping to hear about superior functional design, superior setup (tire, wheel, drivetrain), superior comfort and handling. All I got was inconsequential chatter about paint jobs. Boring and irrelevant stuff.

They’ve no taste !! Harsh on the Van Rysel and the Bora S Works. The Dogma still looks great. My No.1 is the Willier of Astana

Madone's design is like that, I don't understand why you guys have to cover up that hole... It's like having a definition of Ferrari's design with a VW standard, really stupid.

I wish I could get back the 17 minutes of my life I spent watching this. Expected an interesting discussion and instead got a couple of guys cracking themselves up over how edgy and contrarian they were being. Garbage content.

Rubbish. That Envelope bike is trash. It’s not aero and the geometry puts your body in the wind. They insist on using Enve tires that are garbage and 6 watts slower. That’s the WORST bike.

All the modern bikes are essentially the same POS. A flat black version of the same crap is boring AF

How why is the TDF a benchmark for anything good about cycling? Cynical and beyond any redemption. Thanks.

No mention of Cavendish's custom Wilier? It's different than the rest of Astana team. Not that I LOVE it, but gotta be 10/10 since it's Cav and a one-off. And you should have compared with the team kit, see the "whole picture".

So if we do nothing colour wise, it’s a 10? Eh? 😂 whilst your both wearing a white and black plain t shirt? 😂 c’mon!

Black bikes are so 2020, I’m assuming this video was down voted because of your bad taste in paint schemes 😂

the bianchi bike won today 😹

Entertainingly hilarious! Made me laugh for sure! 😅😂😂 That said, I agree with some of the other comments - please don’t take offense - you guys have absolutely no design or aesthetic sensibilities. Not trying to be mean or even funny but your design vocabulary is a 0/10. Very funny episode though! 😂

Enve wheels hookless are shit. Enve is pure marketing and too expensive for what is delivered. These men don't have taste imho.

What a waste of time. Maybe you guys should be in different industry, like fashon and do some t-shirts evaluation?

Mainly based on looks. Colnago V4Rs paint job is boring but the bike is way better than most.

So unless it’s plain black it’s rubbish. Great advice guys 😂

The painting on the bike has no bearing on the bike's efficiency. Your assessment is poor. You three are horrible.

you guys rate bikes based on their painting? and we should look at this? who cares what colors you ilke? trash

Lol so subjective. Enve really!! that is probably my least favorite one.

Yeah great video, loved it, but you’re absolutely out of your goddamn minds 😂

Weird! I imagine that was actually the main purpose of this video.

Wanted to see all the TDF bikes reviewed but I cant stand how this guy with no hair talks. Is that ego?

WTF!? Enve bikes get absolutley worst paiting ever.

Enve 20/20? I'm really confused😂😂

Boring.... 17 minutes of paintjob rating.

Way too high for boring black bike. Absolutely bullshit

I watched the whole thing just to see how ignorant about bikes someone who hosts a bike show can get....i am still in disbelief about what i heard and saw....

A cycling podcaster who can't pronounce Bianchi 😮

it doesnt get any more boring than that full black ENVE

Really disappointing clickbait title to end up hearing you wax on about aesthetics - and badly!

next time please do a tier list, would be way more interesting

The one guy looks like Andrew Tate… -10 points

The most clueless couple of helmets iv ever wasted oxygen on

Video should be retitled to ranking Tour de France Bike paint jobs.

you should make your review as objective as possible not just base it mostly on color/paint job

Cannot understand the enve take

mafia lady - only peron using barin due to podcast.

So the quality of a bike is just the color. Pathetic.

Your hate of specialized really comes out in this 😂😂

Zero bike rates, lots of paint rates, and bad opinions.

These guys rating is unrealistic and unreasonable

Pathetic. Waste of time. Won't come here again.

These guys are smoking some funny stuff, they gave the Enve bike a 10 , the bike looked so plain , they loved the wheels more than the bike 🤷🏽‍♂️

White bar tape is always the right answer…

So these ratings are only based on appearance?

why is the only person with sense here is the lady ?

Keep talking about the riders, you guys have terrible taste.

not only bad taste. the tattoos are like silly...

You have shown a wrong Look 795 Blade RS bike. Now it is "Iconic Platinum White" with Mondrian elements. Stunning.

The title should be ranking paint jobs on TDF team bikes...😒😒

How is Dare horrible and enve is awesome 😂