You’re so hard on yourself reacting. You in the middle of an episode hun. This helped so many people because it was authentic. I remember that video thank you for sharing that mental health isn’t real, and a lot of us suffer. No stigma. You’re great! Thx!
I just got let off a 51/50 hold, i was in a VA psych ward with a few schizophrenic vets.. its so sad that even the nurses just look at them funny and crazy and just let them wander the floors. This video opened my eyes forreal. I appreciate this kid so much for being real about it. This needs to be taught & cared about way more...
It was probably not fun to look back at this for you, but that video helped me understand the condition more than anything I had ever seen before. And I think you’re awesome for posting it in the first place. Thanks for being you, and for being a positive influence in this world. Peace!
Yeah, he was prepared for criticism and to have that less he hated himself a bit in this vid. I really back you up in this comment, he should've done that.
I agree that it was extremely brave of him to post the initial video. There’s nothing wrong with wishing you acted differently in a previous video? Is that not kind of the point of reacting to an old video of yourself? I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone that would watch a video of themselves from years prior very fondly. The way I see it that’s kinda the point of a reaction video is not so much to demean yourself but like make light of it and maybe laugh or cringe at how dumb or different you acted cuz that’s just how it is when you’re young. On the other side of it, you’re never gonna see someone “reacting” to an older video of themself, schizo or not, and them just loving every second of it and just thinking they were the shit, they would get laughed right off the internet. I totally get it the way he reacted, just a few nights ago I watched a 6 year old video I was in on RU-vid that a friend made and I could not stand the way I acted, sounded, talked n allat.
I know you may feel really self-conscious or embarrassed, knowing that you put such a vulnerable experience out there in public, but you really have helped a LOT of people. I stumbled across the original video a few months ago, and was pleasantly surprised to see this update. I have Bipolar disorder, and during my mixed-manic episodes I experienced psychosis- I didn’t have auditory or visual hallucinations, but I did have delusions. I heard “my” voice inside my head, telling me to do horrible things. The second time that happened, I was able to talk myself into calling a local mental health clinic. I got my bipolar diagnosis and have been taking meds (including the antipsychotic Seroquel) every day since then- for 14 years. During my pre-diagnosis episodes, I wrote a lot. Whenever I go back and read those paranoid, rambling Livejournal posts & illogical notebook scribbles, I feel SO embarrassed by how “crazy” it made me seem. You are SO BRAVE to put your experiences out there for the world to see. Your original video reminded me of how I had felt during my psychotic episodes, and I am very, very grateful for that. It’s affirming and validating. There are a lot of us out there, and sharing our experiences makes others realize they’re not the only ones. And by posting your reaction video, you’re also showing the world something vastly important- we can be functional, healthy members of society. Maybe we need meds to keep the episodes at bay, but other than that, we’re relatively “normal” people. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. Even if it’s hard for you to watch, that video (and your more recent ones) has really helped SO many people.
Hey, I hope you see this. I have bipolar disorder without psychotic features and I've actually been watching you since before I was even diagnosed. You seem like such a cool guy and I respect you for being so open about your schizophrenia because it's so personal. Thank you for being you!
@@MJ95630 yeah I'm alright. My semester ends in two weeks so I'm kinda concerned about my grades just cause I want all A's or else I'll feel bad about myself lol. It was difficult throughout quarantine to start college and with a disorder. I'm taking the meds tho and I'm in therapy. What's up with you 🤙🏻
Dude, I’m so happy to see you healthy and that this mental illness has not completely taken over your life. My brother has Schizophrenia and I love him to death. It can be very hard to see him going through an episode. Your videos help me cope with the trauma. Again, I’m happy to see that you are safe and smiling! Best swishes, god bless you! 🙂
The Past: Our cradle, not our prison; there is danger as well as appeal in its glamour. The past is for inspiration, not imitation, for continuation, not repetition.
You're not cringe!! It was that video that got me to sub. You're a doll. So sweet. Very sad anybody has to deal with this stuff. I hope thing's are better. I only just subbed & clicked on your channel in hopes of finding an update.
I just watched the original video and started feeling sad, so I decided to see if you made any more videos. Just to find this video, it starting off with you smiling and my heart really just jumped for joy.
The silence is the actual expression. The tension of the silence and the anticipation of the next thing is what made your video great. Don't be hard on yourself. You could explain more about the lasting effects, and maybe elaborate more on what you remember
The video he is reacting to came up on my recommendation. I had to see if he had any recent video, I was happy to see he does. And happier to see a smile on his face in it. The video he is reacting to is so educational and eye opening, proud of him recording and sharing it. People need to learn more about things like this. Very brave.
You the best Man! I remember seeing that video and realizing how poor my undestanding of this conditon was, and realizing , oh he is just a normal person with situation but he is just normal, you change the mind of so many people, so thanks for helping me with my ignorance . Kind regards from Honduras central America! Big fan an looking to go to the discord and play with you dude.
You are so brave. Focus on how far you’ve come, not where you were. Progress, not perfection. You amaze me with your strength & courage. Be as kind to yourself as you would another person going through this, you are so strong. It is absolutely inspiring. See that.
So glad to see how youre doing better now, wish you all the best. But please don't be so critical towards yourself, you went through so much. You chose to record yourself, published it on this platform and touched so many people. Thank you for sharing this experience you are so strong.
Man you are so soooo intelligent. I’m so happy to see you doing well. You look great!! I have ptsd from childhood abuse. So to an extent I understand. You’ve inspired me to record myself when I have an episode. I’ve been in therapy since I was 10, I’m 40 now. I’m so curious to see myself when I’m lost. I’d also like to see myself in a flashback. I love the way you carry yourself. Strength. You’re amazing 💪❤️🥰🙌🏻 Thank you 🙏
I'm so glad you're alive and well! i remember watching this and thinking originally how fascinating yet frustrating it was for you to experience such an episode and reliving the behaviors that constitute schizophrenia. Your video is not only educational (at least for me as a medical student), but it creates a conversation about legitimate mental health queries for people that don't struggle the way you do, and create a lens for them to view your experiences. That's the beauty of you and RU-vid! Stay healthy and happy.
As somebody not able to imagine what schizophrenia is, it was the best video to "understand" what actually happens. Considering all previous videos I had seen of people having this issue i never hat seen somebody to kind of document and detach from it in real time. It looks like a superpower of yours, so you should not feel weird about it. Its actually brilliant. Greetings from Frankfurt, Germany!
i have been searching for your channel for 3 years... you are the reason i listen to Enigma. In like 2018 i watched your most popular video and i couldn't find you since.
That is one of the most powerful reactions to a video i have ever seen, you could only imagine how many people you have helped around the world. You’re a beautiful person INSIDE AND OUT!!
I'm grateful that you uploaded your episode. It made schizophrenia seem a lot more human to me (not that I didn't think it was human before, I had just never seen nonfiction depictions of it). I'm sad that you feel cringey watching it, but I hope you'll feel comfort in knowing that regardless of what I'm filming, I always cringe when I look back on it! I record myself playing and singing the piano and I feel physical pain when I try to listen to it. You are not alone in that and you shouldn't feel embarrassed. I know there's probably nothing I can say to make you feel better about it because no one ever helps me feel better about my own videos, but it honestly was waaay more tame than I expected for a serious episode like this. You're so very coherent! You should be so proud of your strength and perseverance! It also is helping me right now because I have felt subhuman with my own mental illnesses this week and it reminds me that we all have our battles. You're an inspiration, you son of a gun. ❤️
I literally just watched the video from 3 years ago and subscribed after that video !! I can’t even imagine what that would be like to have all kinds of intrusive thoughts- but I hope scientists can discover the cause and cure !
Not sure if you know this, but a symptom of psychosis is tangential speech, so that's probably why you went off track and started talking abt things like the lazer pointer.
It didn't seem very tangential, especially since the laser pointer was just sitting in front of him, I was under the impression he was just trying to distract his thoughts.
Honestly your video made me sooo much less afraid of schizophrenia. I have OCD and I've always been terrified of being "crazy" and hearing things but you made it seem really understandable and I feel like I understand it a lot better. You are awesome!!!!!
I'm only a few minutes into the video but I had to say I came here to see how others deal with their schizophrenia as I'm still learning to cope with mine even though it's been prevalent since I can first remember but knowing there's a RU-vidr out there who goes through similar things as I and also shares the same favorite band really helps in a way some can't understand since music is my main coping mechanism if that makes sense. I love your videos please keep up with the great work❤️
I don't know how to say that but you shouldn't be so harsh reacting for that video man , so many people suffering the same and they still look like the old you , good for you tho ❤ wish you all the best
How are you coping now since that video? You have grown up so much since then! And i was so happy to see this in my notifications today! You definitely seem to be managing alot better since then too! Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way! Stay strong and healthy! 💯👌🏽🙏🏽🥰 Ps. I loved your homage to Jim Carrey in the Truman Show! 🙌🏽
I liked the old one very much, it’s perfekt to understanding what an episode is about , great job and so brave 💯 today you look so different,seems you re on a very good treatment ,that’s great 👍 like your channel ,keep on going and take care of yourself ❣️ good to hear your your parents are on your side ✅ best wishes from Germany 🇩🇪
Your being vulnerable enough to allow us to see a bit into your world and explaining what you were hearing and experiencing was so valuable! Stop being hard on yourself. The information you shared here is not anything you can read in a book or I've found anywhere else. My daughter has been silent since she was young and I had no idea of the struggles in her world even though I wanted so much to understand and help her. Please. Don't be embarrassed. You probably have no idea how many people you've helped. I'm so very glad you're doing so much better! Maybe focus on that, also, when you watch this video of yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Your original video just came up in my feed 4 years later. So I clicked your name after watching to see if you were ok all these years later. You look well and healthy and Type O Negative is one of my top top bands too. I'm more partial to Green Man but I can litterally just put an album of theirs on repeat for days and keep going. It's so much better really loud. ❤
No wonder we're so hard on each other. Look how hard we are on ourselves even knowing how difficult we've had it. Knowing what no one else could possibly know about ourselves. This is very interesting. Just observing. Thanks for sharing. Glad to see it seems you're doing better.
Hello.. Just came across your channel and your initial episode video. Glad to see you have posted again recently. You look a lot more sure of and at peace with yourself than you did 3 years ago. I imagine watching the original video would have been uncomfortable and confronting. Thank you for sharing this with us and being so raw. I honestly hope that you are doing better and have more good days than bad. 🌱
It's pretty jarring to see the way somebody reacts to themselves compared to the way we react to them. When it's one person reacting to another, especially if they have some sort of mental illness and we simply can't comprehend what it would be like to be in their mind, we usually go in trying to be considerate of their condition and their actions, showing more patience and generally being less critical, if for no other reason than to spare their feelings. But when a person looks back on themselves from a different time they don't have such a filtered view, they know exactly what their goals were, they know exactly how close or far they came to achieving those goals, and since they're looking at their old selves they have no need to even think about sparing the feelings of a version of them they know no longer exists, so we get this beautiful sight where we can see that the person who's most critical of a person ends up being that very person. All this is to say that you shouldn't worry about those little nitpicks like the pauses, we all understand you were going through something awfull and had every right to not be absolutely perfect whilst doing so. We're just glad you're doing better man. Also I respect that Truman reference
It's you being genuine about your illness and that is what we want to see. My son is close to your age and has schizophrenia so it's very helpful to see others dealing with similar issues. Your youthfulness adds to the sincerity of the vid. I know it's awkward for you but for the rest of us, it helps to understand. No one is judging you, other than to applaud you. It is incredibly powerful. Never take it down.
G'day, from Australia. I've been exploring the depths of my own conditions ( chronic anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression) and for no rhythm or rhyme your 'episode' video popped up in my YT feed. I'm thankful it did, not only because I got to learn so much today. But also because I got to witness a very brave, vulnerable young man sharing his experience. Don't cringe lad, be proud. I do have a question: In your experience. Are the voices always negative? Is there anything positive within? ps...glad you're doing well.
ok this must be really hard to watch but you helped a LOTT of people with that. whether they have the same condition as you, a closer one or not. thank you. you're really brilliant. sending love and support. and no , it's not cringe.
Dang dude you have come a long way since then. Praying for the best. Love to see you haven’t lost your strive to look at the bright side of things. You’re an inspiration to me.
I know this is hard for you to watch, but as a mother, my heart breaks for that young man! 😢 Every person in the world should watch this and gain an understanding of mental illness.
It was probably hard to watch this for you and maybe even triggering. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope you are doing well these days especially since the pandemic forces all of us to be alone in our homes, in our heads all the time. Just checked out Enigma and Type o Negative, great songs, thanks lol. Maybe you would also like the band Tool - Lateralus. Edit: btw I always wondered why you had a Germany flag up on the wall. Greetings from Germany ✌️
Type O Negative is an amazing band! I was lucky enough to see them 2 times ages ago...I was also at the show that became famous because a security guard crushed a fan to death...
I just randomly found your first video ...and looked for an update and found this video ..I'm so glad to see you looking much better..much love to you my friend 💕
I'm not the first to say but i just found out about you and i've been studying psyocholgy and all the different chemical imbalences that could happen to the human brain. I am pretty shocked that i didn't find your channel earlier. First of all i would like to say that i'm incredibly greatful of you to share your knowledge, experience, and feelings with us with so much precision and honesty. It is not easy for everyone living with a chemical imbalence to just communicate these feelings with such manner, It is why we should all thank you for putting yourself out there and educating us on life! much love brother i wish you the best, no matter what happens in life !!
Look at you!! I was randomly recommended the original video again, after being recommended it a year ago and watching and commenting on it. I’m so glad to see you so peppy and seemingly doing really well. My heart 💜
Hey, i know you wont like me saying this but try to have some compassion for your past self. We can be so hard for ourselves but your past self was going though a hell of a shit storm, and it must've been scary and overwhelming and you did a great job with that video. It helped many people and their families, it helped me. Don't be so hard on yourself. Past and present. You're amazing
thank u for being so real, this video really helped me become more educated and understanding so many years ago. im very glad that u are still posting, its great to keep up with u!
No sonny you did good, its a good record, you raised awareness and its very helpful for people to understand and be more compassionate compared to previous years who considered schizophrenia as something bad you know, you seem a lot better I wish you all the best and keep up the good work to your chann3l
Omg yes I've listened to that song repeatedly lol. Just saw your other video tonight while I was researching and then checked out this video. It's good to see you are doing very healthy.
Woah! Just watched that video, commented on it, wondered how you were and came to your channel and found this....and you're talking about type O😎 RIP Peter Steele! And you keep on keeping on!!!!:)
Please don’t be so self critical. Everyone else that watched your original video thought it was brave and educational. I hope you can see that in yourself too. Nothing cringe about it. Thank you for putting yourself out there.
this video is really heard to watch, because your so young and the voices telling you to kill your self! It is so strong of you to show watt the schitzofrenia does to you. I hope you can give us more input, what you do or think what we can all learn of the disease, when will you know your going in an episode, when did you know you were sick? you showed us your bracelet how long have you had that? and most of all how your doing today? how do you cope with it? I wish you the best of luck and keep up what your doing because YOU ARE helping people! ❤
