@@user-td3sv5ds7w > Tara [did nothing wrong] Here's Tara's emotional health rap sheet, as best I recall: - she has been gaslit by her blood kin and feels (undeserved) shame about being who she is (no blame on her, just stating a fact, but it would benefit her to work on this.) - as a consequence she sabotages one of Willow's demon-locator spells in S4, hindering the work of the scoobies - for the same reason, in Family (S5) she hides demons from everyone, thereby endangering the scoobies - in Tabula Rasa, in her break-up conversation with Willow, she uses some you-statements and not so many I-statements. (Willow is way worse, FWIW.) - she has a fight with Willow near the end of S5, right before Glory mind-sucks her. She could have done things a little bit better, and Willow could've done a lot better. I think her biggest problem, the shame induced by her blood kin, mainly causes her to suffer: shyness, shame, a decreased ability to be open with Willow in their relationship and thus a decreased ability to experience both being and feeling accepted for who she truly is. Toxicity in Tara is mainly aimed inward, making her do too little good rather than too much bad, and it's not her fault. Perfect characters are boring though 🙂love Tara ❤
I come at this from a slightly different situation. I identified with Tara as someone who is very shy and lacking confidence and from abuse within the family. I started watching Buffy season 4 and especially season 5 and found in Tara a character I not only related to, but one with whom I felt represented a degree of hope, that I would find love and acceptance. Season 6 I found devastating. Whether intended or not the killing of Tara, something I personally feel had no dramatic weight or necessity at all, felt to me as if the writers were saying that hope is wrong and that if you are shy, socially awkward and come from abuse that all you deserve is a violent and ugly death. It is not something I have ever forgiven Joss for and never will.
i’m with you on all of this. i loved the dark willow arc but i don’t feel like tara needed to die for any reason (although the scene was done incredibly well, in my opinion) addiction to magic makes sense on it’s own & warren was despicable. also…tara reminds me of the person i love…we’re both wlw & she comes from a religiously abusive upbringing & she has a very similar demeanour. i know because of her & a bit because of my own experiences how much pain the character of tara would have been in on account of her family…in my perspective, it would have been just as heart wrenching to explore her childhood wounds somehow, & would have spared everyone the grief of losing tara. & you said it perfectly; the death of tara delivered a message of lost hope…and lost hope for someone who already experienced a lifetime of suffering. i would have preferred for any of the other characters to die over tara at that point because it felt like she never got the chance to truly be happy & free. it felt so unfair.
thank u so much for taking the time to watch!! tara is so important to me and it’s so cool that i can make a video that honours that and have other people Get It so thank u so much !!!
This was so beautiful to watch. I was always a massive Willow fan but as I’ve gotten older Tara has become so important to me as a character and you have completely nailed the reasons why. Thank you for taking the time to put this together and I hope you make more! Ps. Your voice is super soothing ^^
Levi Susannah i am so glad you enjoyed!!!! this was a work that’s been part of me forever it seems so it was great to put it out and even better to see other people resonate with what i’m saying! more are definitely coming and thank u for the compliment !
Tara has always been one of my favorite characters on Buffy. Like you, I initially wasn't a fan because I missed Oz, but by season 6, watching how she takes care of EVERYONE around her with patience, understanding, and love, I was inspired. That is exactly the type of person I want to be. She is not only a wonderful role model for unconditional love, but also for how to be a good romantic partner. She sets boundaries, and she does not tolerate Willow's abuse, but she never reacts with rancor or blame. When Willow honestly makes an effort to change, Tara allows the relationship to start again, making it clear it was never a matter of a lack of love, but a lack of trust and the presence of unacceptable behavior. We sadly never got to see it, but it was very clear to me that Tara would have stayed true to herself and to her own needs in a renewed relationship with Willow. As someone who had a family member destroy themselves with drugs and negative behavior (for which Willow's magic use was clearly a metaphor), I often reminded myself of Tara: I still offered that person unconditional love and understanding, but I made sure they were not in a position to abuse me. Tara is SO GOOD! She truly is a character that teaches us all so many valuable lessons. Thank you for making this video. You hit the nail on the head.
This is a beautiful essay. But I am less magnanimous in accepting Tara's death to merely service a plot point. It's a clear indication Whedon, et al., did not understand what they created in Tara. It's ironic, I guess, that they created a character big enough to be iconic to a community yet small enough, in their minds, to kill off.
representation matters and being soft and loving isn’t weak, it’s the strongest thing you can be 🥺🥺 we really love to see it 💞 u r my new favourite youtuber
This moved me to tears and just made me love the character even more. Very insightful and powerful description of Tara's character and role in the show, and I do believe you're right about all of it.
Thank you for sharing how your story interacts with Tara, Willow and the Buffyverse. You’ve helped me get a glimpse into your world, and for that I’m grateful.
I think when Tara was introduced in Hush in Season 4 ,I fell in love with the character and enjoyed seeing her blossom over 3 seasons ... I've still got a major crush on Amber Benson after all these years ... was hoping there was a Tara out there for me somewhere, still looking and waiting patiently 😂
This made me cry. Tara is one of the most beautiful characters ever created. At her heart, she is so genuine, and wants nothing but to love and be loved in return. Her death was such a tragedy.
ahhhh I've literally just published a Tara video myself and have just seen this for the first time and our videos are so similar except yours is so much better than mine! 😅 oh well, there can't be too many people that love Tara for everything she contributed, and tbh I'm so glad to have discovered your channel because your work is beautiful! I've just binged all your videos and you're doing such great work, this video in particular is such a fantastic homage to such a wonderful, complex, important, underrated character! Looking forward to seeing what you do next :)
absolutely bawling. tara and willows fem on fem relationship has always meant so much to me and for them to just take her away like nothing… ive never recovered
Thank you for making this beautiful and deeply touching video. To this day, I have never felt the loss of a fictional character as strongly as Tara. You put into words perfectly why that is.
I never saw Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Even so, your voice, both physical and poetic, drew me in to caring about these characters! This video is simply beautiful and moving! Please make many more!
Oh goodness, this video was so touching. It also just made me think about the ways in which the evolution of my feelings re: Tara and Willow were both similar and different to your experience. I didn’t watch Buffy until I was an adult and already out as bi, but I was wary of watching it for a long time partly because of hearing about how Willow “turned gay.” Especially as a teen, it was really hard for me to reconcile my feelings for women with the knowledge that I definitely liked men. Even though I’d heard of bisexuality, I still felt this pressure to “choose” and like if I expressed interest in a certain gender or another, my experience of liking any other gender would be erased, and hearing about Willow’s story brought up that same fear. But then when I watched the show (admittedly, already as an adult relatively confident in my identity) I ended up finding it incredibly empowering to see how much Willow was loved and validated by both Oz and especially Tara. Relating to Willow as much as I did, it was so beautiful to see Willow’s relationships portrayed as some of the sweetest and most loving in the show, regardless of her partner’s gender.
Wow you put into words what I could not. There are a few fictional characters that I say have saved my life Tara is certainly one of them. It's OK to love yourself. It's OK to love who you love. It's OK to decide your Blood isn't good for you.
I watched the series as it aired and loved Tara from the beginning. She and Will were the first lesbians I saw on TV, it showed me my feelings were valid and that I wasn't broken. For that, I will always love Tara and her death still kills me when I watch.
Tara's death was by far the worst decision from the people who made BTVS, she has always been one of my favourite characters. PS. Your voice reminds me of Andrew haha
I watched Buffy when I was around 12 to 13 and loved all the Scoobies and had no issues with Tara, knowing the context of the fact Willow both loved Oz and Tara so I mainly say she’s bi mosty leaning towards women tho
I watched buffy very late, my dad watched it as it came out and every time he saw a character I had just met he would do a fake cry. I would role my eyes but when he saw Tara he couldn't listen to her words. I ended up googling Tara to see if her and Willow would get together and was spoiled to find out that Tara dies and I was upset but okay with it, it is until I watched all the episodes with Tara in and I forgot that she dies, in my head I knew she would but I didn't want to believe it when it happened I believed that because they could save buffy they could save Tara, but she didn't come back and I cried with Willow and refused to watch any episode afterwards because I was scared for Willow. I did end up watching the rest but I missed Tara.
my feelings for girls per se were less conflicted (because I was 21 and had already come out as asexual and had already been through being dragged off to be "corrected" to sexual so...I mean, bring it?) so I never really got any support from Tara that way, but I did find myself relating a lot to S7 Buffy, not only because Buffy feels broken but also because giving up and entering unhealthy relationships because you feel like you kinda deserve it was essentially what dating was for me until I came out and gained some confidence (probably had something to do with multiple people telling me I was a tease who was selfish, unfair, and needed to be "fixed"...including a straight, female psychologist who decided telling me I was asking for it and selfish for being ace was the best response to me telling her a man had tried to correctively sexually assault me the night before...), so honestly till I was into my adulthood, despite having crushes on girls for years that I just didn't consider as legitimate and worthy because they weren't sexual, what I wanted or felt was never actually presented to me as a thing that was important enough to put thought into or that was ok to explore (because exploring meant being a tease in my mind)...but certainly the concept that I was worthy of love and not broken was extremely important, in fact without that concept eventually sinking in I would have never realized I liked girls cause I would still be thinking my emotions were inconsequential.
Tara levels Willow when she:s being treated to bad whif the forgetting-spell. She stopped the relationship when it was decructive for both of them and gives Willow space to work on her issues. In this she should be a good rolle-modell to heterosexual women how leaves destructive men. Tara and Willow is just nice to eccoder in a way all relationships schod be built upon.
> they did the best they could at the time and went far and beyond what they would have been allowed to if not for their former successes > they succeeded in affecting you on a deep level > they get a tantrum about it not being enough what dumb and contradictory intro :D but it nails showing you have/had unresolved issues about it
