Real Time with Bill Maher: New Rule - Better Ted Than Dead (HBO)

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In his editorial New Rule, Bill Maher confronts the unfortunate dilemma of choosing either Donald Trump or Ted Cruz as the Republican presidential nominee. Original air date: March 25, 2016.
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Опубликовано:

24 мар 2016

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Комментарии : 1,7 тыс.

@eameece 3 года назад

That bleach scene was oddly prophetic. Not to mention the discussion of viruses.

@pedrobarao4558 3 года назад

This has to be a simulation

@ladyvincenza 2 года назад

Watching in 2021. You beat me to it, dude:)

@ixlnxs 8 лет назад

6:25 He actually said it wrong. He said 'better dead than Ted" lol

@ALVACHY 8 лет назад

yep

@nibiru2012ification 8 лет назад

+ixlnxs and don't forget muscle-ini..... ;)

@antonywilliam7680 8 лет назад

+ixlnxs Made it even better! :)

@tylertyler82 8 лет назад

+ixlnxs C'mon, cut the guy some slack. He works 1 hour a week and is probably exhausted.

@Mozart1220 8 лет назад

+tylertyler82 You think the show happens by magic? Putting on a show like that is HARD WORK. He just makes it look easy.

@user-we2ee5xw8e 4 года назад

This has aged very well. Bill Maher knows what he's talking about.

@tvanbroekhoven Год назад

It aged even better with the SCOTUS stuff going on

@Henofmayhem Год назад

@@tvanbroekhoven yeah we’ll never have that hearing on taxing churches if they get rid of a woman’s right of choice.

@Montrose173 4 года назад

4 years and 3 months later - safe to say that bill nailed this one.

@namwarmaster6918 8 лет назад

Whether or not you agree with Maher politically, you gotta admit this is comedy gold.

@blackraider777 8 лет назад

+PureEbola only if you are brain-dead

@verfuncht 4 года назад

blackraider777 I'm quite late, but would you care to elaborate?

@Shogun1982 8 лет назад

@6:24 I love his Freudian slip here. Bill's brain won't allow his mouth to endorse Ted when he's not concentrating. Love this guy!!!

@AWWYEAHHHHHH 8 лет назад

I think that was intentional

@franklindelanoroosevelt9404 8 лет назад

He fucked up the line at the end, but I might agree with him.

@EricaShady10171972 8 лет назад

+Maxwell Apton stoned! LOL!

@callofthewild9175 8 лет назад

😂 OMG the bleach bit.. I'm dying..

@leek988 8 лет назад

+Danelle Lewis That was so funny.

@illfigure9270 8 лет назад

fr tho😂😂

@immanuela.8738 4 года назад

Hello from 2020.😂

@argeshagan7407 8 лет назад

he butchered the punchline...but still hilarious bill.

@heroicmuffin9972 8 лет назад

+Arges Hagan Big time. such a fail.

@DarkWater4Eva 8 лет назад

Nice fail at the very end lol

@u4tiwasdead 8 лет назад

After all that he fucked up on the fucking punchline Still better dead than ted is probably more true

@PeterK1984 8 лет назад

+DarkWater4Eva That's not a fail, that's a Freudian slip

@greggh 8 лет назад

+julius vidal You can't smoke the amount of pot Maher does and still be 100% on.

@TheHigherSpace 8 лет назад

+DarkWater4Eva Full show is live give the man a break ...

@tH_oRdNrY_vnrY 8 лет назад

lmao was wondering if anyone else caught that

@JamieHitt 8 лет назад

Love the Freudian Slip at the end.

@pacoo3712 8 лет назад

+Jamie Hitt Yup, no matter how hard they try, they can't shake the fact that their spreading lies and propaganda for the establishment.

@brace110 8 лет назад

+Jamie Hitt Freudian?

@screamingphoenix8113 8 лет назад

Yeah. Obviously Bill secretly loves Ted Cruz because a made a slip up in speech.

@Ioganstone 8 лет назад

+Jamie Hitt He called Ted Cruz the worst president, and what's worse than being the last president?

@cpob2013 8 лет назад

kinda fucked up that last line at the end but yeah great bit

@nsipnsi1529 8 лет назад

+Connor O'Brien Or his real feelings

@cpob2013 8 лет назад

***** you know freud was nuts and wrong right? in modern psychology hes pretty much discredited

@bafflezbiz 3 года назад

Watching this in 2021, in retrospect, shows how well Bill articulated the danger of Chump. And fortunately those on the fence finally woke up.

@JnEricsonx 2 года назад

Not yet. I'll feel better when Trump is having a melty that doesn't involve insurrection come Jan 20th, 2025.

@bafflezbiz 2 года назад

@@JnEricsonx too true. Can you imagine what he'll do if he's sneaks back in and feels validated? Believing that he can do anything he wants with impunity? The GOP has been stacking the deck and replacing anyone who isn't on-board with lying and cheating to get him back in. And with the voting law chicanery that's going on, we might be in trouble. *Fingers crossed*

@JnEricsonx 2 года назад

@@bafflezbiz At this point, I have more faith in a burger taking Trump out. Or of covid dealing with more of his crazed minions. Because my cynicism meter is fucking BURIED at the moment.

@KarstensCreationsKC 8 лет назад

Mussolini and Joe McCarthy...LOL...PERFECT.

@toxicangel1121 8 лет назад

he said "Better dead than Ted" not the other way around as the hat reads... XD

@Renji9031 8 лет назад

+jenifeondass Hey Zabuza, guess you can call me a ninja because that didn't even faze me.

@emmabennet888 8 лет назад

+joe jones I know i was like wut

@MartinStaykov 8 лет назад

+joe jones he misspoke

@MartinStaykov 8 лет назад

John Townsend why is that?

@toxicangel1121 8 лет назад

+Martin Staykov Yep, Happens to the best of us. I love it when you see it on videos or movies. Its that little moment of magic that you getta point out a famous person fucked up

@ramzabeoulve9820 8 лет назад

Bill you fucked up at the end

@TazTalksYouListen 8 лет назад

+Ramza Beoulve ...and all the rest, too.

@WeeWeeJumbo 8 лет назад

That suit-tie-kerchief combo is pretty rad, those colors

@imisstoronto3121 8 лет назад

CATTY FATTY AND BATTY? LMAO!!!!

@aM8sCA 8 лет назад

Sitting here in Canada watching American politics go down.. It's honestly like a TV show lol

@ViperRob 8 лет назад

Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich

@25taylorkw 8 лет назад

I agree, that episode of South Park pretty much sums up the Republican party in a nutshell.

@flushiez 8 лет назад

+Robert Machulla so ted is the turd eh

@coolidgedollar2154 8 лет назад

+Kenneth Taylor Stone and Parker used that to illustrate general elections, actually. They even said they hate the left more than the right.

@matkojapan 8 лет назад

+Coolidge Dollar I think the quote was by Stone who said, "I hate conservatives, but I hate Liberals more" They are basically Libertarians.

@flushiez 8 лет назад

uh libertarians are nothing like liberals ayylmao

@CandyflossCottonCandy 8 лет назад

Random Fact Guy is here Cheetahs use facial expression to show their mood Goodbye

@rightben59 8 лет назад

...

@peacewillhappen 8 лет назад

I always knew I was a cheetah inside.

@Lobsterwithinternet 8 лет назад

Who was that tall, dark, handsome, masked stranger?? We never got a chance to thank him!

@spacebacon8387 8 лет назад

sometimes I throw a toothpick into the woods while screaming 'you're free!'

@Lobsterwithinternet 8 лет назад

+Space Cowboy Blue Me too! Only it's more my latest victims instead of toothpicks and instead of a forest it's the Gotham River!! 😎😇

@JonKrueger 8 лет назад

6:25 "Better dead than Ted." He said one thing and the hat says another. That was a great Freudian slip! =D

@passiveagressive4983 3 года назад

2020: oh how we laughed then........

@marshallbrooks1 8 лет назад

He said the hat backwards

@qizheng1049 8 лет назад

Exactly, which is hilarious. Better dead than Ted!

@jackschmit4696 8 лет назад

+Qi Zheng I think it was a accident, as the whole premise of the bit was Ted > Trump.

@realityvanguard2052 8 лет назад

+marshall brooks I know its hard to tell if it was on purpose. But if it was I think it was still a mistake haha. Left me like ;s when I should have been all XD

@mkinjustice8231 8 лет назад

No he didn't he said it right

@Cellofski 8 лет назад

Hahaha, you messed up your punchline. It's "Better Ted than Dead," not "Better Dead than Ted." I guess in essence they lead to the same conclusion.

@vm6817 8 лет назад

At the end Bill unintentionally said what he actually wanted to say!

@MrSinister718 8 лет назад

Literally said better Dead than Ted. Only thing right he said.

@DarkWhisper07 8 лет назад

+MrSinister718 that was cringey

@CometCowboy01 8 лет назад

anybody pick up on him saying the phrase wrong he said "better dead than Ted" lololololol

@comunistubula4424 8 лет назад

+Brian Brennan Yeah,it was crystal clear.

@ayushg2271 8 лет назад

6:24 Better Dead than Ted. Cant stand ted even after all the points against Trump lol. nice satire Bill.

@Hfajardo97 8 лет назад

+Ayush g He messed up the lines

@Ioganstone 8 лет назад

+Hfajardo97 Naw

@armyinfantry11b 8 лет назад

Why can't you stand ted cruz?

@ayushg2271 8 лет назад

+Hfajardo97 lol, works either way tbh.

@lacombar 8 лет назад

he's right... better dead that ted.

@boggisthecat 8 лет назад

I wonder if the US military have already figured out the accident that would cut Trump's occupancy short. It may seem like a long-shot that Trump could get in, but then if his competition ends up being Hillary Clinton...

@AlexeiRamotar 8 лет назад

I think he got that last part mixed up. Why say "better dead than Ted". Shouldn't it be "Better Ted than Dead"?

@akhilpb9196 8 лет назад

+lacombar Did he deliberately say it? or was a mix up

@ShamrockNRoller 8 лет назад

+AKHIL P B Pretty sure it was an accident.

@konstantpapas1583 8 лет назад

+IKeepBadCompany Or his subconscious that couldn't in anyway support Cruz, not even for fun's sake!

@countmein33 4 года назад

And, once again, Bill, you were completely right.

@010dx010 8 лет назад

"He said better dead than ted."

@LaughingFunnyGroup 8 лет назад

Thought I was the only one that noticed 😂😂

@philipatha 8 лет назад

+Jay N Foreshadowing

@cervacior5843 8 лет назад

+Jay N That ruined it

@colinsilver1041 8 лет назад

Actually he said, "Better dead than Ted."

@thrashish 8 лет назад

+Josh “BananaBaller” Lagarde there are more than seven billion of us. youre not the only one to do anything.

@flatplant 8 лет назад

Better dead than Ted is right Bill

@bail9418 8 лет назад

+Uncle Ben Secret code for Trump is who he is really for ;) He said Trump would make a hit list & he likes to go out side... RIGHT Then said "Better Dead Then Ted"

@Shtoops 8 лет назад

I'd take trump over cruz.

@DNotzz 8 лет назад

Lol, after seeing your channel i understand why. Wow 😄

@kyleisbuck1999 8 лет назад

KASICH!!!!!!!!!

@ededos478 8 лет назад

Wow, I've never seen anyone so exited about an old lady.

@kyleisbuck1999 8 лет назад

What?

@ededos478 8 лет назад

+kyle morris All I'm saying is that you could put a bonnet on Kasich, and nobody would think it doesn't suit him.

@C0SM0.SMALLS 8 лет назад

Oh my god, the innocence.

@classactionsteve 8 лет назад

+kyle morris kasich is a transparent hack

@prettydopebeats2322 8 лет назад

"Hair trigger wounded ego of a male flight attendant" I'm done xD

@lukassnakeman 8 лет назад

damn, tripped at the very end. teleprompter guys getting fired

@kuznea9647 8 лет назад

"Better dead than Ted"? hahaha fail

@oshawottstarter2675 8 лет назад

Did he really mess it up though?

@TheDriftingsmoke 8 лет назад

+ZEF u r 2

@linusfotograf 8 лет назад

+Oshawottstarter Read the hat.

@kuznea9647 8 лет назад

+kuznea96 He's going to lose so many potential buyers because of that mistake haha

@comoyoko 8 лет назад

"Better Dead than Ted!" says Bill. BUT his cap reads; "BETTER TED THAN DEAD". I think you messed up there Bill. Love the show

@IMDRanged 8 лет назад

+James McGee I think that was real bleach that effected his bit.

@haystak1 3 года назад

that bleach gag was perfect

@dixiecronin7791 8 лет назад

Hahaha his real feelings come out at the very end

@jossylopes 8 лет назад

Bill always keeps it real

@christopherbabick2099 8 лет назад

This is one of Maher's best!!! Laughed MAO!!!!! Damn! A must view.

@lazylion420 8 лет назад

yeah yeah, Bill got going a little too fast and said it wrong. but it actually works both ways.

@emlynlewis2830 8 лет назад

"hair triggered wounded ego of a male flight attendant", hahaha that's hilarious.

@Futuretense101 7 лет назад

When he brought out the bleach bottle, I lost it LOL!!

@Abraxas1177 8 лет назад

Bill, you got me! 1:26 I almost choked there!

@Zimionz 8 лет назад

Trump doesn't believe in half of what he says. Cruz doesn't say half of what he means. I find Cruz much scarier than Trump.

@sunny_disposition 8 лет назад

+Ziim So on point. Cruz is way more politically savvy, way more conservative, way more religious. Maher is totally wrong. Anyone who prefers Cruz over Trump is just reacting emotionally.

@pcbacklash_3261 8 лет назад

+Ziim You absolutely nailed it! Not only is Trump a blowhard who doesn't believe much of what he says, he's actually taken a moderate position on a number of issues. Yes, Trump's arguably the biggest narcissist on the planet, but religious freak Cruz is so bat-shit right-wing crazy he makes Ronald Reagan look like a Pinko!

@bajan503 8 лет назад

They both scary Cruz looks like a mortician for fks sakes makes my skin crawl the Donald is a loud mouth Buffoon whose the best at everything possible only one choice in this election gotta b Hillary for all her baggage

@vihaze6725 6 лет назад

Well this comment didn't age well, did it?

@KELLSONIC 8 лет назад

I still like Ron Paul!

@spliter200 8 лет назад

+KELLSONIC idiot

@adankseasonads935 8 лет назад

agreed

@tinospiker1274 8 лет назад

John Kasich pulling this out at the convention is the result I wanna see.

@KELLSONIC 8 лет назад

The Jay *You're

@jackcole1014 8 лет назад

+The Jay Hillary is the pillar of political corruption, left that part out.

@davidanderson9524 8 лет назад

I died when he started chugging the bleach

@princewilliams4040 8 лет назад

I love john Oliver

@Ioganstone 8 лет назад

+Prince williams He disagrees with Bill on Islamic terrorism all the way lol.

@princewilliams4040 8 лет назад

+Ioganstone all I said was I like him calm down, I find him, bill maher, and john Colbert very intelligent and entertaining

@princewilliams4040 8 лет назад

+Ioganstone *Stephen

@jackmackeral1 8 лет назад

+Prince williams Every fucking episode of Last week tonight is centered around making a mockery of Americans. And this is what you love?

@jonmapa9418 8 лет назад

I am proud to support Donald J. Trump in 2016. #Trump2016 #Buildthewall #Noamnesty

@UTU49 8 лет назад

"Better Off Ted" That was a sitcom. Ha!

@TheGamingVillas 8 лет назад

I'd rather Cruz as president than Trump, but hopefully neither of them get to.

@benjaminpeterson6470 8 лет назад

one or the other pick your poison

@callofthewild9175 8 лет назад

At this point, we are just picking the guy who will lose to the Democrats 😉 #feelthebern

@ArnoModelstate 8 лет назад

It better be the right Democrat then course I've never been this scared of an election that's not even mine to vote on O.o

@christianalmli9085 8 лет назад

+TheGamingVillas fuck no. That guy is a religious maniac. Trump's probably not even religious.

@DarthVaderOfficial 5 лет назад

Lol this thread is funny

@ragazziita 8 лет назад

I would choose Trump over Cruz because I do not want to live in a theocracy.

@jazzx251 8 лет назад

+ragazziita You would live in a Lunocracy then. (Government run by lunatics)

@ragazziita 8 лет назад

XtaticApollo I don’t know what the fuck makes you think I’m a "Trumpet." I do believe Trump is a dangerous idiot, but Cruz is a religious, dangerous idiot, which is a lot worse.

@jama8262 8 лет назад

+ragazziita but in Fox News debate Trumpvf said, the minimum wage is "Too Hight" and he adores supreme leader of North Korea. Sorry but I would rather live in theocracy than being homeless eating rats.

@TheYasmineFlower 8 лет назад

+ragazziita You would not have to live in a theorcracy because you still have a constitution that says "separation of church and state" and therefore something to fight with. Because, you can fight Cruz. And Cruz couldn't do everything on his own, either. But try fighting Trump. Just try that. It won't work, he'll probably have you killed or tortured or put into a solarium, but just try fighting a guy of which you have no idea what he wants or would advocate for. Better the devil you know.

@jama8262 8 лет назад

And would you accept Ben Carson and crazy Sarah Palin to be under President administration of Trump? At least with Cruz, is only one guy who take office but with Trumo, craziests will run office and your lives.

@829197177 8 лет назад

this is the best new rules ever I could not stop laughing.

@thecodgamer57 8 лет назад

You said it perfectly bill.

@archer1949 8 лет назад

Nah.....Cruz is much, much worse.

@lee48lee68 8 лет назад

Bill Maher doesn't disappoint!

@nespokesman 8 лет назад

The bottle of bleach was epic...I almost broke a rib laughing.

@roysinai4175 8 лет назад

that freudian slip at the end is the clincher

@josephtedros2089 8 лет назад

Bernie2016

@MyBlackdiamond21 8 лет назад

feel the burn

@theonetosaveyou 8 лет назад

+Joseph Tedros comments on youtube videos don't count as voting.

@thomaswolniewicz4332 8 лет назад

+Joseph Tedros Bernie? ButtHurt much? give me a break. Clinton vs. Trump in November and Clinton wins. ( and I'm a Trump supporter) It shows you how fucking depressed I am.

@y.g.theyear7254 8 лет назад

Yes! feel the Bern, baby!

@lauralishes1 4 года назад

*Bernie 2020*

@Extrafreshmint 8 лет назад

Freudian slip at the end?

@bloodandwinearered 8 лет назад

The line about the male flight attendant was too funny.

@srrlIdl 4 года назад

The bleach joke aged well

@HangOn2seconds 8 лет назад

BETTER DEAD THEN TED? Nice confession.

@ender003 8 лет назад

+HangOn2seconds than* It's on the damn hat.

@HangOn2seconds 8 лет назад

The Ender READ IT AGAIN

@HangOn2seconds 8 лет назад

The Ender AND LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAYS AT THE END

@ender003 8 лет назад

HangOn2seconds His hat says the correct "than".

@hacm1925 8 лет назад

I wanted the election to be Rand Paul vs Bernie sanders but now it's looking like trump vs Hillary

@JohnDoe-et8th Год назад

LOVE the Freudian slip at the end.

@RogzielTheAntistar 8 лет назад

THAT was CLASSIC.

@ColoredStripes 8 лет назад

He said the last part wrong

@elmerfuddgantry8946 8 лет назад

+Buk Lau Yeah, I noticed that too.

@JingLiSH 8 лет назад

+Buk Lau Freudian slip.

@lauralishes1 4 года назад

Or did he...

@jabronis33 8 лет назад

I'm a Bernie guy and if Dems screw him over, I'll burn it down and vote Trump

@nobodybutme2 8 лет назад

+Kevin K.. Oh that's wise.. you 're a real .....

@abhishes 8 лет назад

Catty, Fatty and Batty.... Oh... my god... that cracked me up so hard....

@rockarollerify 5 лет назад

"Lindsey Graham said that Ted Cruz makes his skin crawl:.

@MakeMeThinkAgain 8 лет назад

I disagree. Cruz scares me more than Trump. Most politicians are crazy.

@Zigthrill 8 лет назад

Cruz is smarter and way more evil than Trump.Personally,I would choose Trump over Hillary any day of the week.

@luckywaddles 8 лет назад

+Ancient Veritas why?

@Zigthrill 8 лет назад

Because at least the establishment will still be in chaos.And if we survive 4 years of Trump,the entire country would shift to the left.

@Zigthrill 8 лет назад

Cruz is still an insider.He's just hated by most Republican politicians.

@luckywaddles 8 лет назад

Ancient Veritas You know ...I was wanting to disagree with you and call you crazy ...but if we did survive Trump I can only imagine the country practically RUNNING to the left. But the "if we survive" part kinda scares me.

@preest_nz 8 лет назад

Way to fuck up your own joke at the end there!

@johndanielson3777 6 лет назад

4:52 me on election day

@erez87xp 8 лет назад

Also did he say better dead than ted in the end instead of what it says on the hat? lol

@Ion_Antonescu 8 лет назад

Aww he messed up his punchline..

@novazee 8 лет назад

He fucked up the punchline. lol

@JohannesWiberg 8 лет назад

+novazee Yeah that was kinda weird... probably all the bleach he drank.

@adanmartinez8709 8 лет назад

he messed up at the end he almost had it Lol

@debbieomi 8 лет назад

Freudian slip there at the end? Better dead than Ted?! lol

@succawut 8 лет назад

The difference between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz is that Ted Cruz isn't funny and he actually believes what he says.

@sawtooth808 8 лет назад

picking between Donald Trump, and Ted Cruz is like choosing between Arsenic and Cyanide

@ianthesage-music 8 лет назад

Hilarious as always!

@keivnskyfighter11 8 лет назад

I would compare Donald Trump to Kim Jong-Un but that would be an insult to Kim

@valgehiir 8 лет назад

Funniest new rules in some time! But I still think Cruz is genuinely crazy, while Trump only pretends to be.

@unevilGenius 5 лет назад

how about now?

@MrOrstone 5 лет назад

@@unevilGenius hahaha. I was about to ask the same before a read your comment.

@bearach5163 8 лет назад

Ted is the zodiac killer.

@jackmackeral1 8 лет назад

+Bearach Minter He killed the zodiac?

@beverlydaniels-reeves729 8 лет назад

That is so lame... zodiac killer? who are you? Lucifer???

@mattmun12 8 лет назад

4:40 was fucking glorious, holy shit I rewatched that so many times. Would have been even funnier if he said "I choose... BLEACH!" and gulped it all down.

@rcradiator 8 лет назад

lol nice Freudian slip at the end

@trajan74 8 лет назад

Bill, you do realize that Ted is a rapture-ready and thinks he's the Savior right? At least that's how his father raised him.

@ManiaMac1613 8 лет назад

Ted Cruz is a horde of spiders stuffed into a skin suit that's somehow capable of imitating human speech.

@JK_2998 8 лет назад

He's an action man figure left on the radiator too long

@oontgrad 8 лет назад

And Trump is a family of rabid badgers wrapped in sentient plastic.

@JK_2998 8 лет назад

oontgrad Wrapped in a bag of cheetos

@doloresdebeauvoir4960 7 лет назад

Wow I think the resemblance between Ted Cruz and Joe McCarthy is uncanny...

@Farmergallo 4 года назад

4 years..time flies

@cubanochico1able 8 лет назад

As a republican, I'm mad by this clip but it's so freakin funny lol...

@JulianB123 8 лет назад

+Brian Bahadur Notice how there's no good conservative comedians, but tons of good liberal comedians. What would they joke about how poor people need to use boot straps, how there's something wrong with black culture, or make jokes at people who want to have affordable healthcare, college, or care about the planet.