Yes - but what if you’ve done everything to be attentive to your spouse? Kept the yards clean. Kept the cars running. House clean. Helped with her work projects. Supported her career. Participated with activities and went out for fun occasions. Asked about her life, job, etc. And still treated with contempt, belittled, ignored sexually, etc. You can only try for so many years before being the best you can be before all the negativity drives you to become someone you never wanted to be.
Not good man, no wonder we end up with mental problems. Best thing to do is tell her how u feel if she doesn't care , walk away. No one cares nowadays, it's all about them. Hope things get better, heads up.
@@jackdeniston59 the stashing cash can get you in trouble during the legal parts, especially if it is found out. you will be expected to give half the stash to them. and if you dont... jail time.
Men aren't the only ones who go through this, believe me....as a woman, it makes you feel ugly and abnormal because society is always telling you that men are supposed to be all over their wives and the wives are the ones not into sex....what if it's the opposite? It makes you feel ugly, undesirable, and worthless. It makes you open to attention from other men. It sucks.
They probably want to remove themselves from you cause it sounds like ur so good at everything it almost makes them feel undeserving of you. Tragic, not always the case, but possible.
So sorry to hear you are going through this. That is completely your choice and we will never tell you what to do. If you decide you want to stand for your marriage, we are here for you my friend. We wish you all the best. Blessings.
She says it is her fault but refused to talk about it and I must not look elsewhere if I want the marriage to last. That was more than thirty years ago and we are still married but there is no change in the physical relationship/
I don’t have a problem with me. I have a problem with a one sided marriage. I love my job. I love my kid. I have good friends and good hobbies. It’s having a roommate when I thought I married a wife is what’s taken the wind out of my sail. I still have to do all the husband stuff for a roommate
Me to the 't'. - absolutely disgusting, I agree, There's nothing you can do. Try to find someone else. I had a gf that was like this (I know how to pick them). Treated me like a child, found things I did 'unacceptable' etc. She went through all the motions of moving on (but still lived with me). Then one day, I found someone else. She freaked. Not because of what happened but - as she said - I beat her to it. Ha Ha. The she groveled, telling me it could work, etc. Sorry. That boat sailed and she hounded me for two years, and finally married someone else.
I feel you. I'm pretty much there with my wife. It's almost like she's waiting for me to initiate leaving so she can feel like she didn't cause this. It's very strange.
No amount of working on myself has made a change in HIS behavior. This advice is not for every person or every marriage. At some point there is something better out there than staying in a marriage where one person loves the other person more.
This was last night. There is no talking, instead my flaws get pointed out, how lazy I am....I pay all the bills on time, don't drink, am always home, am supportive, but that doesn't matter.
I have no will power anymore. I am always wrong. I must always apologize , I must always keep quiet. I always get interrupted and spoken over but I must always listen but never listened to?? I can't find any help
' This is the description of a covert Narcissist ' There's nothing you can do to save this relationship ... They can never be pleased by anything you do ... This can only work if you're dealing with a relatively balanced individual... Otherwise it's like pushing shit up hill with a broken shovel ... You're welcome !!!
Hey Christen, after reading your comment we understand how you could feel and think that way. We thought you might be interested in watching one of our videos about Narcissistic Spouses! We hope you find it helpful! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-xUXMAVgCToM.html
That's true, The narc only loves her/hisself. if you don't fit the need then you can work all you want, etc. Ask a narc how was her/his day? Please. Best thing is to do what makes you happy, realize he's/she's a POS that doesn't deserve you, and try not to wretch when he/she attempts to love bomb you when you slip away.
I'm sorry but this is just putting the fault on the person's being rejected. it could be the person that's being rejected is doing everything they can to be the best person they can, the person rejecting them is doing so to manipulate them, or has some issues of their own.
Do u think she has any mental health issues, because my ex husband was the same he was constantly on his phone had no friends, and he ended up having autism, just a thought, maybe im wrong
@@sethdavid2117 just caught my wife cheating with a married guy, so I emailed him, to a shared account with his wife, now he freaking out because he might lose his wife and children boohoo. I have no intension of exposing him at the moment but if he pisses me off I can strike at anytime because I have her mobile. He knows this so he will live in fear everyday, sad little git.
@@derekwfrazier What issues? To want unconditional love? Or "I will love this person till death part us"? How is a person to gain confidence in themselves when every day they are reminded about how small they are in their partners eyes (that they would sacrifice everything for, yet never receive the same in return)?
And when you work on yourself you get asked "Why the change? You're only doing it now because you want something." So your work isn't considered to be genuine.
my husband changed on the honeymoon. he hasnt touched me since 18days after marriage. its been a yr n half. ive heard every excuse possible. i now sleep on the couch cuz he ghosts me n disappears now...well he has been for few mnths now. ive tried everything! seriously everything! as of yesterday i took off my rings. he stopped wearing his bout 3mnths ago but i still wore mine but im at my breaking point now. i cnt live this way anymore
Hey The Flip Side Paranormal, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
@@RotterStudios you are so correct. She just handed me divorce papers the day after Thanksgiving, so I guess that is that. She never even tried to reconnect in the marriage and even had the audacity to say "God gave her peace" about filing for divorce. I still wanted to keep working toward reconciliation, but she said she is done.
@@ggandbb1702 well wish I could say my wife tried to work on her end. I was still praying, standing and fighting for our marriage and wanted to reconcile, but she handed me divorce papers the day after Thanksgiving. Still trying to wrap my head around it all and how she could actually claim to be a Christian and tell me "God gave her peace" about divorce.
Before you try your best, the first question should be, is he/she really worth it? Suppose he/she treated you in such a way that made you feel that you mean nothing to him/her and actually tried to rid of you. In that case, whatever you do, the improvements in your relationship will be temporary, and he/she previously proved that he/she can do it again, making you feel awful again. Go your own way and live your precious life.
I have to disagree on 90% of what you are saying. I say marry the correct person - the one that is also your best friend. When you get to a point your marriage needs working on it is already too late
For men, it’s a extremely unfair. You see, women are brainwashed into wanting a TRADITIONAL man, but refuse the idea of being a traditional wife (cook and clean!!!) like no women do anymore. Remember our grandmothers?! Mine cooked and cleaned and was the strongest and smartest women I ever met.
Now I feel the ultimate rejection after my wife handed me divorce papers the day after Thanksgiving and she even has the audacity to say (she claims she is a Christian) that "God gave her peace" about divorce. Unreal. I still wanted to fight for our marriage and reconcile, but she gave up years ago and made the CHOICE to disconnect. The ULTIMATE rejection.
Muma Mia! Tell her that Christ himself said that the only good reason for divorce is adultery. Christ also said that if someone goes with the woman after she divorces, they commit adultery. The "peace" she feels is from Satan. Lol I wonder what she would say then?
What if one has tried every corner of the block and your husband does not respect, value your opinion,undermine,add value, excludes you, constantly gaslights you, emotionally,financially, mortally, physically,sexually
Omg please try to get away/out of that situation before it gets any worse! Seek help/counseling in how to remove yourself safely before doing so first imo. Wish you all the best. I hope you find a way to get out of there ASAP.
I am currently doing this because I realize that for my own sanity and resilience it has to be done. That being said, if it doesnt work oit this time I'm finally walking away FOR GOOD. There is nothing more painful then your best never being good enough for a partner that no longer respects you.
My wife has gone through menopause just over 10 years ago and has no interest in sex and doesn't want to satisfy me either she doesn't need it so neither do i apparently and she doesn't discuss it either ....
Hey Baltic wood, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! Ask our team about a specific product called THE SPARK. It's a program we created designed to teach you how to have a more fulfilling sex life with your spouse! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
I made a promise to never again address any problems I may have with my wife. The reason is not what one thinks. If I did that with concern, she would return volley three times more with all the problems she sees in me. So I stopped. Hasn't stopped her from complaining of the things I try to do. She wants me to lead but I must go in the direction she wants. I turned myself off. Just go with the flow, smile and wave, and act like I'm happy. I have no desire otherwise.
Hey @n9wff! It sounds like something that could be very helpful to you would be our SMART Contact Toolkit. This will teach you exactly what to do to start rebuilding healthy communication with your spouse! Highly recommend you consider checking it out here: bit.ly/3BkXVpW The first thing we try to teach people is how to have healthy communication with their spouse to avoid making the situation any worse. One of the main tips is to stop PUSH Behaviors. This is anything you do (or don't do) that tends to push your spouse away from you. We teach you 4 other rules you need to follow to help with this situation in our free e-book! You can download it here if interested! Free Ebook here: bit.ly/3BSuzRo We hope this helps!
I’m in a relationship like that but I’m the wife. Trust me when I say she can pick up on you “checking out” Life’s too short. Best to share how you are feeling and work out together
@@jesusthewaytruthandlight7558 I don't do it to "check out of the hotel." I have no intention of leaving her. I stated the reason above. I can't address issues with her, even biblically. God will have to do it directly.
Leave the robot and find someone that actually and truly loves you without conditions. Life is too short to be miserable due to lack of affection from the one that vowed to love you. If you don’t feel it then it’s time to jump ship
Hey Kim Smart, thank you for your comment. However, we disagree. We believe there is ALWAYS hope for a marriage no matter what. If you have had a bad experience in the past that has caused you to feel this way, we understand wholeheartedly. But there is always hope. If you change your mind and decide you would like to seek help for your marriage, we would love to talk to you and will always remain a safe place for you. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990 if you'd like to chat. Blessings,
Yeah, I do that. I'm in the gym a lot, don't drink, pay attention but not overly doting, I'm confident in my life and with my physical capabilities, I study many intellectual things and read, I have mastered a number of noble crafts including brewing/distilling, metal art, mechanical engineering, soil science and gardening, I care about my children and fight for what's right, also have a firm grasp on my duty spiritually to my ancestors and children. And the woman I recently took back after 10 years of being apart wants nothing to do with me in bed. She just wants hugs sometimes. I feel like I'm nothing more than validation for her.
Hey Coffey Towing, so sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds like you have been doing all of the right things, but because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
@@MarriageHelper yeah I'm not really interested in fixing it honestly. I don't want to persuade anyone to be with me or to want to be intimate with me. I will not chase or fix or ask anyone to change. There is no try, there is just do. I'm far happier in solitude overall, as I'm stable and confident in my life.
I have always been confident. I had worked on myself in all areas, so much BEFORE he walked out on us. I am trying to evaluate but it defies logic and I can't wrap my head around it. I want to save my marriage and have our son grow up in a healthy family.
I disagree on the physical aspect. If she thinks she's good, she's good? What if she's 125 lbs overweight and I don't find her attractive? If you're not attracted, a lot of the affection is hard to do without forcing yourself to do it.
The worldly and human part of of me says split. The Godly part of me says, Got to Him with my issue and believe . So I listen to God and try to be patient. Suck it up as they say Don't make it easy . But divorcing . Seems so cold. And We did promise ourselves Before God and man. Women can be a challenge. But breaking that promise to God puts a different answer than most I see.
My husband works long hours and the night shift. He sleeps during the day. Has split days off. I’m disabled so I’m home all day and all night. He never has time for me. I try calling him at night because he’s on the road. He never wants to talk to me. I found out he was “chatting” with hundreds of women. All night long. He swore I was crazy accusing him of doing anything while he was work. The lies were so many and so big for so long. Now he swears he loves me. He swears he’s stopped “chatting” I’ve not found any evidence of it but I don’t know if he’s just better at hiding it. He was better for a while nothing lasts, I feel like he has to try really hard to be nice to me. Should I leave?
Oh my gosh I cant believe you just said that I thought it was my own personal humiliating embarressement torment. Who wants sex w someone who doesnt rejects you for years hes always done that on and off even as newlyweds because they're CHEATING now comparing you to someone younger.
My husband wants to keep going to the church where a woman goes whom he had an emotional affair with. It’s over, but my body doesn’t say it’s over and it feels like it’s killing me. I’m going to a different church, but just knowing that they’re there in that very small church together feels so many ways- unsafe, humiliating, cruel. It breaks my heart every Sunday and I just feel gutted and have to recover throughout the week. I can’t make him understand how it’s at very least just a biological response I’m having. He thinks I’m just making a mountain out of a mole hill. I think he is undiagnosed autistic, so there’s that added mind blindness. The church is very sweet and very naïve and they take his side, and I feel like I have no one who understands. I’m crushed.
Did all the chores, being a good father, provide for my family. I know I am not perfect, time and again I felt neglected, push me away like I am pervert. 😂🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭. I am not cause I love my wife so bad I want to get intimate with her. And now this dr tell me I have to do more.
Same here. No matter what, it is always my fault. Feel your pain. I gave up. Now i will wait till she sees thtough the thick fog in her head to clear. Might tske some time.
Hi there … sorry for my really despairing attitude … I worked on myself for years ( I have carried and still do carry childhood traumas and disempowering believes to some degree) … what happened when you do and the communication itself or day to day mundane working on relationship is total no no for my spouse … talk of any kind not just deep relationship or about feelings ends up by defensive fight, name calling, undermining and telling me I have issues and have to deal with them by myself … what then … by now I gave up, disconnected and stopped trying, I work on myself just as I always had ( brings me more joy than anything and keeps my brain occupied) … but am I wrong there needs to be effective, kind and respectful communication line between partners?
I was advice to tell him how i feel an wt i need but unfortunately is reply was all u want to do is having a fight😠seriously dude ?????? He does not recognize thats there is a problem in the relation ship !my question is how to deal with these men?thankyou
I asked my husband why he’s not wanting to be intimate and instead of being mature and sitting down and talked to me he just says “have you looked in the mirror lately “, he also said I was a lazy pig. Real nice right?? I thought he loved me but since I am going through the change and I gained a little weight I guess love falls to the wayside .
So sorry!!! We believe there is always hope. Are you separated from your spouse or in the process of divorce? If so, it's not too late. And even if divorce has happened, it's not too late. You'd be surprised how many marriages we have seen restored even after a crisis and years of deceit. There is ALWAYS hope.
I feel that while self improvement is always beneficial, but this doesn’t take into account that you maybe abandoned to raise two children on your own, that your exhausted because you never have breaks or support. This does not cover, how to be engaging in three words or less before your cut off being told that nothing you say is worth hearing. It does not take into account that The woman already knows so much more about thousands of different topics than he will ever bother with, what if she already outstrips him in skills a hundred to one, what if she has hundreds of interests to his one. It doesn’t take into account anything with him at all. What if it’s the man who is rejecting is mentally fucked up in someway. Why isn’t his past abuse, his pst rejections and male thin skin issues. Maybe the woman is amazing and gets offers all the time and the man just wants to work and play computer games, what if he is week and runs from his feelings and won’t deal with being molested as a child so he has intimacy issues and he hurts the woman and insults her over and over again to get her to back off because he is frightened of his own memories. Ladies, men and everyone else. Improve your self esteem because it’s getting torn down, make as much of a life outside the relationship to help keep your balance, but don’t go about making yourself more appealing for another person, that’s demeaning to you. I am not a big victim blaming and that’s what I am hearing, he doesn’t think you are good enough and the therapist agrees she says you are not and need to work on it, I say you are just fine the way you are, you are enough, you need support from rejection you are not the cause of it. Men are not the perfect high and mighty and women do not need to change themselves to please a rejecting partner. Leaving, is bliss, do not wait as long as I did. He is not enough not you. He needs to do work not you. Save yourself, lift yourself up if he’s going to float up with you then yay. But men don’t change unless they want to so do the mental work, but don’t expect change and be ready to walk, you’ll be glad.
@@sarahsaville6829 Not sure why you said this…… I don’t think my personal experience needs to be all inclusive, as it’s my experience. Nor does any of my statement have rejection of any gender being narcissistic. I am very inclusive of all genders, but when dealing with specific situations I tend towards being accurate in my descriptions. All genders can be either victim or narcissist. Does that help you out. Just as an FYI, my kid is trans, so I have no gender bias. On a personal level I have preferences, which is not based on gender one bit, but personality. I do hope you have plenty of growth so you can lighten the load on your judgement part of yourself.
I am dealing with this but think my spouse is a narcissist & could that be why he rejects me? i do everything for him am vary attentive im a empath type & he gets alot of love & he is loving in public mostly but not at home , he will not communicate ever & ive fone counseling for years im not dealing with the norm . thanks
My wife cheated on me so of course i rejected her for quite a while. She should thank her lucky stars i got through it and started to satisfy her again.
Hey Paul, it sounds like you are still working on forgiving your wife. We completely understand how hard that would be after an affair occurred. Have you considered calling us for some free resources on how to work through marriage after an affair has occurred? We'd love to help you in any way we can. Consider calling us at 1 866 903 0990!
disagree just a patch job that will unravvel down line unless man in relationship is 12 years older following patriarchy couple will just divorce down line after lots of aggravation and discontent
I work night shift so it never matches with a home mother I'm always working out of the picture when she sleeps I work and I'm ment to work daring the day I wake up to a working mother and I'm the lazy one, I cook sometimes romance ou the door, please help 😊😊
Are you able to change your job? One that requires less work hours, and during the day? Sit with her. Tell her your not happy, and her and your life needs to change. Ask her if she has any ideas how things can improve. Ask her if she is happy, and what would make her happy. Tell her you prefer to spend more time with her then have more work hours or money. Try and find a way out, even if you need to move to the country with cheaper housing, even camping. Try to go on a date once a week. Ask her to write a list of things she would like you to do around the house, and say you will try to get to them. Try to do one a week. It's important to help around the house, because there are things you can do that she can't manage to do. Working at home is usually longer hours then working at work. I'm sure she will appreciate an attempt to help in ways she can't. Find out her favorite love validation (kind words, actions, gifts, etc) and try to give more of that to her.
What if you have a partner that those all my frustrations but will not doing anything to help improve the situation. I’ve done absolutely everything, tried everything and still she will not help improve. I love her and she loves me but is happy just to cuddle and she never gets horny. It’s that bad that I had an affair out of desperation, just to help relieve my tension and to take the pressure off her. I don’t want to cheat, I just want to be close to my wife.
Hey Dan221075! It sounds like something that could be extremely beneficial to you would be our SMART Contact Toolkit. This will teach you exactly what to do to start rebuilding healthy communication with your spouse! Highly recommend you consider checking it out here: marriagehelper.com/product/smart-contact-toolkit-product/ We truly hope it helps you.
