I need help, so I have a boyfriend of 11 months, we really hit it off and we moved in together recently, the first three months of my relationship were very sweet, he was super duper passionate about me, always gave me affection, and was very romantic, he isn’t like that very much anymore, I don’t know what happened, it’s my first relationship ever, I heard of the honeymoon phase from people online so I guess that’s what we were doing when it all started? I don’t know, he also has a child, she’s about 2 years old, from his previous relationship, he always gives her hugs and kisses and tells her that he loves her literally everytime he gets her from his ex’s house for his time with her, which is understandable because that’s his baby, kids need love and affection, but I can’t help but feel sad when I see it happening because I never get treated like that, you know, like getting a lot of hugs and kisses, and he barely tells me that he loves me, I always have to say it first before he ever says it, and when we get intimate, I’m always just sucking him off and he barely touches me when I do this for him and it really upsets me, when I would ask for him to put in some work too, he would do it, but he would finish super quick and I wouldn’t have even gotten close to an orgasm, I know he works 12 hour shifts AND he watches his kid for a few days, so I can’t expect him to do me all the time, but the only time I ask is when he’s energetic, and seems wide awake and well rested, but it’s like he doesn’t even try to please me when we’re doing that kinda stuff, he used to take his time on making me feel good but not so much anymore, it’s just super upsetting for me, I talked to him about it and he apologized a lot and started giving me a ton of hugs and he would touch me more when we’re being intimate with each other, but then it all stopped again and I don’t know what to do .-. It’s going back to how it was, me just sucking him off and being the only one saying I love you first and it just makes me so upset, like it’s not important to him to give me hugs and kisses or anything, please help .-.
So sorry you are going through that. Communication is key so that's great you brought it too his attention first . I think if it's a constant thing and you are not happy , you need to think about what you want in a relationship and if your current situation doesn't align with what you need , it maybe time to take steps in the direction that will best fit you. Love shouldn't be so hard but don't get stuck settling when you deserve the world ❤️
Dear Sarah, sorry to hear your first partner is a boyfriend that neglects you. We should not speculate but statistically he could just be tired, have some diagnosis/illness, gotten tired of what he conquered, he could have a porn addiction, lady "friends" etc. Regardless, if neither of you cant communicate or follow through what's been agreed upon... dont give him bj:s or feed his ego. One could get throatcancer from oral s*ex. If you leave him I advice you to search for husband qualities in whomever catches your interest next and don't do se*ual stuff while dating, the more one sleeps around the more it damages the soul. Hope everything is better now and if not, there is always couples therapy if he is serious about the relationship. God bless!
