Relationships with Alters: A Partner’s Perspective 

“I am the husband and best friend” This is how every marriage should be. It’s beautiful.

“Explain it to me, so I can understand better” the dream statement for anyone who struggles with a mental illness

Wow. And some guys can't even deal with slight hormonal mood swings in a lady.

"I've got people living in my head." "Okay, when can I meet them?" Ohh my heart! 😍😭 if only we could all find a partner like this.

"Dont expect them to sleep with you" Oh my goodness, as a system myself this is important

Lmfao imagine Ollie being 9 months pregnant 😭😂😭😂 Ollie: "ever see a 13 year old pregnant boy?" Stranger: "what?? No?" Ollie: "lol. K"

Gaz's old photos with the scene hair are so iconic

Ok youtube I'm not mad about this being in my recommended

Gaz: If Jake is editing this- Jake: :o)

If all husbands had 1/10 of the character that you have, all marriages would be near perfect. Thank you for taking such good care of Jess and the guys. You are one in a million, Gaz.

Two of my friends just “came out” to me as being systems. Having known one of them for almost nine years online, and one of them dating the other, I have never felt more like a golden retriever. My biggest feeling at the time to me was “OMG! There’s MORE FRIEND in my friends???” I do my best to learn and remember how to address them. :)

If my future husband isn't like this, I don't want a husband at all

Has there been a video made on how the Boys reacted to Jess being pregnant? I would be so interested in learning their thoughts on that whole process.

Ive been dating my boyfriend for a little over 6 months now and he has DID and actually sent me this video. I love learning about him, his alters, and anything I can do to make him feel more like himself (whether he's Tate or an alter), which is why he sent me this video. I love Tate and the boys and love meeting and interacting with him and all his alters (and I can't wait to meet more of his alters) and all I was really wanting to say with this comment is that this video is helpful. It's nice seeing and getting advice from someone in a similar situation as me, thank you for this video :) also , this is the first video I've seen from this channel and Jess and the boys seem really cool so I can't wait to binge a bunch of these videos

BEEP BEEP gaz: 🙄 you BASTARD that was the most gaz thing ive ever seen gaz do

2:00 That smile and "You bastard" gave me Loki vibes.

Where do people find men like this? WHERE?!!! May you and your wife stay blessed.

jake's little editing text :O was so cute lmao

I don’t have DID, and am not aware that I’ve met anyone with DID, but this was so so comforting. This made me feel very loved and calm! So I bet this is even more comforting for someone with DID. Sending love ❤️

“Don’t be an asshole, be a nice person” - tbh that’s fantastic general advice for life Gaz

This is seriously the first time I have listened to someone who truly understands that doesn't have DID/alters. Really well put and I am soooo happy you found each other. You're made for each other. Thank you so much for such great content.

Gaz: I’m not perfect John Cena: Are you sure about that?

0:49 holy he'll you guys have been together for a long time because that HAAAAIIIRRR belongs in the past oh my god

I have ADHD and I've gotten so much rejection and misunderstanding that I've questioned severely the possibility that someone might love me in a romantic relationship just for who I am with my handicaps, but honestly, if this man can love and talk so passionately about someone who has a way more confusing disorder than mine, I think I have no more excuses to not having hope for myself! Thank you!!! ❤️

I would just like to say that the reaction of "okay, when do I get to meet them?" Almost made me cry... Everyone needs to be more like this. Everyone needs to be more supportive and more accepting of what we do not understand. Not just men. Women too. Wow. Amazing. Thank you for sharing. You are a wonderful human being.

I think that “don’t be an asshole” really sums things up well. It’s about treating alters like people and appreciating them for who they are and what they did (and continue to do) to help the system. So as an example, don’t do what my father in law did in a therapy session with my husband (who has DID) - don’t ask the therapist “how do we get rid of the alters?”. I said “you know they can hear you, right?” So yes I think “don’t be an asshole” and treat every one in the system with respect and understanding - those are good places to start.

My partner has alters, and the thing I struggle with is knowing they had to go through something so terrible. Like, it really hurts me inside. It hurts to know that because of someone else's pure selfishness, my partner has to suffer so much. And it's not even their fault. They wouldn't be traumatized, sad, derealized all the time if it weren't for someone else's deliberate actions and THAT hurts. When I first met my partner, neither of us knew they had alters. But something happened back in May which caused three of the alters to come out and that's when memories started surfacing as well, etc. Getting used to their alters was hard, yes, but I respect each one - even the ones neither of us have met yet - and understand why they are here and why a few of them don't exactly trust me (or anybody, really). Getting used to their alters wasn't the hardest part though. It was knowing they were so hurt. Knowing they didn't HAVE to be hurt, but were. It hurts my heart so, so much, sometimes all I can do is sit there and cry. This year is hard, but your videos really give me hope that things will smooth out. These videos are so, so endlessly helpful.

When you got married to Jess, did any alters come out to enjoy the day?

It was 16 years into our relationship (14 years married 1978 - 1992 before we knew) when we found out my wife had DID just after we got a Restraining Order against her mother and grandmother, went No Contact. We were married 43 years when she passed away 2 years ago. You’ve done a great job informing.

2:00 I laughed so hard. xD My boyfriend and I have this unspoken rule that if littles are near, there's no sexual goings-on. Same with teens. And it is so freaking cool that we have this understanding, and it wasn't something I had to ask him to do--he just got it. Oh, and, the first couple months we were living together, holy cow I was switchy. Everyone was coming out to check him out, make sure he was safe to be around. And no, it wasn't instant. I just remember that time in particular because there was sooo much switching and getting a feel for who he is as a person.

Your emo hair game was on a god lvl...

"Be a nice person, don't be an arsehole" - fantastic life advice there tbh 😂

God, why can't we find our own Gaz? Everything was very well said in this. The most important thing for us is that we're all treated as different people. The easiest way to get us to like you is by treating us all differently and letting us be ourselves around you.

"we snogged, bet you didn't call that one" I did, because Jamie mentioned it before too, I think

Can I just say how clear your accent is? It was such a pleasure to listen to you. You could be a esl teacher or do voiceovers. Seriously, man, apart from being a great human, you have a bomb voice

Thank you so much! My Mama recently discovered she has DID and you are the best role model I’ve found for how to be there for her.

I do have a question: does it get tricky maintaining relationships with the boys if say yourself and Jess have a disagreement or vice versa?

Fantastically put, Gaz. Thank you for such a great video. I'm glad Jess and the boys have someone as amazing as you in their life. -Wyn

It's like one of those pens that you twist and another color comes out. I love those pens.

This is helpful to send to a partner. If i had known about this video I would have sent it to my ex boyfriend when we were dating. His first reaction to me having undiagnosed D.I.D. was that I faking it and called Erin, our primary protector, an insufferable prick after meeting him once. Now he has an even harder time trusting people I date. Sorry for the minor rant but I felt it was relevant.

"When do I get to meet them?" He is an absolute gem.

I'm totally addicted to DissociaDID and there are a lot of references to your channel. This is the first video I watched. It was impressive and incredible!!!!!!

How did the boys deal with jess being pregnant?

Following right away! As a person whose partner has D.I.D I really needed this. I’m learning more and more every day and trying to understand and build relationships with their alters. It’s one of the most complicated things I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world ❤️

I love your shirt

This is so sweet, and very informative! Great video as always!!

Ik you aren’t going to read this but I want to say thank you for making this video, I just got into a relationship with someone who does have DID, and I was on the verge of ending it already cuz it felt just, not what I signed up for basically haha, but I kinda thought more I should understand more and I wanted to keep this going and this is a great kind of explanation on how I should be, obviously my experience will be completely different, but this kind of sets me on the path to doing the right things in this relationship. So once again, thank you for making this video

Gaz should have his own channel, I could listen to him for hours

"Be nice... Don't be an *sshole." SAY I LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACC! 👏 👏 👏

I love that the overall message is to not be a jerk 😂😂 This was so interesting. I really enjoyed hearing your insight, Gaz 😊

"Dont be an arsehole" NUFF SAID Me:*nods in agreement

Hey brother. My girlfriend has D.I.D and I've been learning new things everyday since finding out. Not to mention I was the first to question an alter with "who are you" which ultimately caused the rest of them to start appearing and talking. It's been almost 2 months since I met the first and shared the discovery with her family, which also brought me a lot closer to them and my partner. My question is, how should I approach the few alters which are very angry and have a deep hate for men? I approach them with love and calmness, however, because they are angry, they try anything to harm my partner and need to be restrained at times. I want to earn their trust, but I don't know how to. Appreciate any feedback and if you do make a video could you keep my name completely confidential in respect to my partner and family. Thank you

It was great to hear your perspective, we have always gotten clips here or there but this sit down was nice! I would be interested in hearing more from your perspective as a partner to a system. It would also be cool to hear from the boys perspective their first impressions of you and how they met you etc. You mentioned with some alters it can take awhile for them to accept a partner and I was interested if there was any moment that stuck out to any of the boys that made them think “alright he’s a good guy I’ll accept him as a friend and for Jess” and their first impressions of you. It would also be nice to hear how the boys are fairing with the baby! When they first officially met her and if they have any special bonding moments or funny moments with her or with you in regards to being parents now!

Omg Gaz!! You are such an awesome partner/friend! Wish all of us with DID had our own "Gaz" Thanks for the video.

I love how you shared that they all cannot be expected to preform sexually and how it's because one is a straight male... I'm a multiple. It's so difficult. Thank you. Compassion, acceptance- nobody asked for this

Idk how this ended up in my recommended videos but I’m always down to learn how to treat people different than me with kindness and understanding. I learned a lot from this! THANKS RU-vid 💕

In terms of your lovely child (first time seeing them, they're so precious!!) how do you approach parenting? I'm sure each alter has their own style, it must be difficult to determine what is best with multiple voices in the conversation! More specifically though, how are you going to raise them in regards to DID? Are you going to completely normalize it to your child, letting Jess' alters come and go as normal? Or will they front as Jess around age 1 or 2 or so, just when they're developing the understanding of what might be going on, until they're at a conceptual age to understand DID? Thank you so much for the lovely video Gaz, very informative, and really shows your devotion and love to your wife and her alters. I'm so glad to see Jess has someone as supportive and caring as you!!

Honestly, Gaz and M&M are so amazing together. You can tell that Gaz adores them and they all adore Gaz and it's just so beautiful to see love in all shapes and forms, honestly.

my fiance has DID as well. it really is such a journey. we didn't talk about it for a long time in detail, and i think that was my fault, because I was kind of scared of how to deal with just completely different people and that I'd do something wrong. but then it actually started with me meeting the littles first and it's been a WONDERFUL journey from here. i adore the two girls a lot. with the two adults I'm not having as much contact, but with the eldest I'm recently starting forming a connection. he's been very hesitant until now and mostly just doesn't talk or do anything when he's fronting, but, funnily enough, last time i was taking a shower with my fiance when a trigger happened and he fronted to stop the flashback. and then we were taking the rest of the shower together which was truly HILARIOUS. I'm so glad I'm getting to know more of who my fiance is, that i see how healing it is to her to talk with the alters, and I'm so appreciative of how they're each able to protect and help her in a different way. I'm glad i watched this video, it spoke to all of how I'm seeing our relationship as well.

You're an awesome man (and an awesome couple!! ♥). My hubby left because I have (diagnosed) PTSD and OCD (from my childhood). Hurts when you know you can't be loved because you're broken...I love your love and understanding and commitment and... it's just beautiful. Much love from 🇨🇦

If one of the alters developed a romantic interest in a new person, how would you react?

this popped up in my recommended after me starting to watch dissosiadid and I think I watched a video by this channel before where a male alter fronted and this guy just walked over and asked if he wanted a cuppa and I'm glad that was my first exposure to DID as its always stigmatized.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude for this video. I my self have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and i’m still new to it all in a way so it’s been very hard for me to explain it to my boyfriend (he’s supper sweet and supportive though i just don’t know how to deal with it ig) but he has met a lot of my alters and this is just the absolute perfect video and you’re so good to her (or they/them) my boyfriend learned a lot form this and so did i you guys are amazing thank you again!

Are there times when jess don't front for days?. If so, do you miss her when that happens?

I really liked the the pictures from the past. This whole video is just so sweet. Gaz, you are every bit as unique and special as Jess and the boys. Thank you for sharing a spouse's perspective. 💞

Watching this I have chills 😭😭 you can just see it in his eyes how sincere he cares for y’all. It makes me happy that you have that support 💕

This really gives us hope that we can find someone to really be a friend to us as well. Not even a partner necessarily but just a good friend who wants to understand us in real life. We only recently discovered we were a system so it's really nice to see a person so willing to help and understand. This is actually our first video on this channel that we've seen, but we'll have to check out more of your channel because a lot of our favorite youtubers with DID highly recommend it. We wouldn't have commented all this until we saw you liked a comment from only a week ago, and man that really shows us you care and continue to come back and check this stuff. Thanks for giving us hope Gaz.

My best friend, who I’ve known for about 6 years now has alters and while I’m not romantically involved with any of them because she’s married, this is how I’ve tried to make sure I approach everyone that’s come along over the years. Its honestly like having 4 best friends in 1 and I’m truly lucky to have all of them. Because even just for my mental health, they all play such an important role of helping me through my not so strong days ❤️

I find this SO fascinating. The way the mind works is so incredible and so mind blowing. I never even thought about what it must be like to be a partner to someone with DID. This is so sweet though. What an incredible husband and such a cute and adorable little family. I love his understanding and that he tries to understand and be as accommodating as possible to make it easier for his wife and all her alters. It’s precious. ❤️

I think it would be cool to see a video of the boys perspective of being pregnant.

This is not to be rude at all, but I applaud how immediately understanding you were to it. Even now, hearing about DID is so surreal to me it feels almost story like and fake (of course I know it’s not) but back then, when even she didn’t knew the name of it you understood instantly. The connection between all of you is amazing

He is so passionate about this and I love how understanding he is

Wow, your such a lovely person, so glad jess and the boy's found you. 😊, so understanding. Your new family have the perfect foundation's for a great future xxx

Thank you for this video, very informative and interesting. Jesse and system are very blessed to have you in their lives.

You’re so understanding and patient. I can’t imagine being able to do this and for so long. You’re both lucky to have each other

Gaz is one of my new favorite people. Thank you for loving so well, mate!

So cuteness Gaz explained things well. Thank you for this

I have been wondering this for ages! Thanks for the info y'all are awesome

The way that you talk about her shows how much you love her. I just subscribed!

I love how involved Gaz is in the system and the condition at its whole ! Its amazing !

Gaz, thank you for such honest and genuine insight from your perspective! I too am a partner, almost 2 years now and I am still learning. This was a gift to find and watch. Peace & Blessings!

Beautiful! Don't be an asshole should just be a requirement for any relationship. 😂

"Oh okay so when do I get to meet them?" Is such a cute and nice response to learning about that? Like it shows you don't think it's weird and that you're interested and aAH Gaz you're amazing.

You’re amazing, I just wanted to be another one to drop that off here real quick. I love you all so much♡

Beautiful video Gaz! I love seeing your partner perspective! ♥️

You are awesome! Jess and her system have found such a wonderful person in you. Many would not be so accepting. I wish you all nothing but happiness together.

Gaz, you are amazing! My daughter was recently diagnosed with DID and, I hope she can meet someone as amazing as you to share her journey.

Gaz! You are so sweet and supportive! You are one of my (many) favorite things about this channel. Keep it up and be good! ❤

This was so informative!! gaz is great i love seeing him on this channel thanks for this🖤

Hey well jess has made me aware of Did but she also helped me with my own mentall health as well please pass that on to her. I also just want to say thank you for making this video as well cuz I think other people who are dating someone with a disorder needs patients and understanding. Love you guys, hope your all well.

Jess, Eviee, & the boys are lucky to have you & in the same sense you are just as lucky to have them. I can't say enough how happy it makes me to know that your treating them all with the love & respect they deserve. Thank you Gaz! Best wishes to the whole family! ❤

Thank you all soo much for making these videos. It's so hard for us to really find information out there about what we're going through and so having videos like this to learn from is very helpful!

Thank you so much! My partner has done really well so far on instinct alone, but I've been on the lookout for videos or other resources to share with him that might help him understand or to feel like he's not alone in what I assume must be a kind of tricky and sometimes difficult relationship. This is the first thing I will actually be sharing with him, and I really hope you do future videos to help build up a community for singlet partners of plurals. I can't really imagine (even though I try) what challenges it presents, but I do worry and thus I hope they get the same chance to feel understood and to learn about this disorder that we get thanks to Jess and all the others 🖤🧡

This was so informative and absolutely sweet! You are an amazing husband, it really does move me hearing you talk about everything! Have a great days guys

This was awesome Gaz! I am so glad to see a non DID significant other being so supportive and open and willing to help others understand the complexity of the relationship with a partner with DID! Thank you!

This is so sweet. I appreciate how much dedication this guy has and how patient and understanding he is

We needed this SO MUCH!! (love the shirt)

I’m so glad I found this. My friend that I have been flirting with and talking to had a breakdown earlier today and I met one of his alters. We never had the chance to discuss it before this happened and I’ve always been overwhelmed around people with DID but I really want to do the best I can as I pursue my relationship with the host

Thank you for being so open. This has really helped me in my relationship with my daughter and her alters (I just found out 2 days ago that she has alters, so I have a lot to learn to be able to support her in the best way possible)

I love the way he speaks to you all. That is incredible. Wish the best to you (the whole system) and your family.❤