relaxing my hair after 10 years natural FAIL|relaxer fail 

1:my hair is still currently falling off the bone... 2:I didn't realize how weak my hair was before relaxing 3:I DIDNT even leave it in 10mins 4:I'm sad so don't fry me lol 5:if your in Atlanta recommend hair stylist that can cut hair

Babe what??? When u said u had children i was thinking little babies… then you said high school and middle school. My jaw dropped to the floor. You look like you could be in your teens!! Black don’t crack fr fr😭

The red flag was when she said “my hair is weak and breaking off” lol the perm was definitely the icing on the cake

It’s crazy to me that you said you felt ugly, because from the outside looking in, you’re SO naturally beautiful! Goes to show that when you look at others you can’t be sure how they feel inside. Your feelings are all so valid but the good thing is, hair grows back.

The “I just wanted to feel better about myself….” after the hair started coming out TRULY broke my heart 😭 I already know you are a wonderful mother because of how much you do with them in mind. ❤ I hope you’re feeling as strong and beautiful as you are now! ❤

First let me say you’re so brave to have posted this vulnerable moment. As a professional stylist of 15 yrs… the following may help other naturals considering relaxing virgin hair. 1. Mizani is one of the strongest relaxers on the market (do not recommend for home use). 2. Virgin hair has to be prepped over time before relaxing due to products such as oils and butters that contain coconut oil. 3. Professional grade relaxer has to be worked through the hair in a matter of minutes. Apply, minimally smooth, immediately rinse. 4. As a stylist I’d never attempt to relax my virgin hair longer than a pixie cut because you just can’t move fast enough.

My dear, you saved my hair. I been natural for several years. I now know that my protein free hair is way to weak to handle a relaxer. After watching this video, the thought of a relaxer is null and void. I’m sorry this happened to you but I thank you for posting it to make us other natural beware of relaxers and learn from you.

This happened to me when I had my LAST relaxer when I was 16. It was the WORST feeling ever and I vowed to NEVER relax again. 13 years later…I now have dreadlocks down to my behind and I love them! Low maintenance, natural, free to style ❤️

Your reasons for choosing to relax your hair is exactly why I also chose to relax mine after 13 years of being natural. I went to the hair salon but my hair still fell out like yours. Never ever again. ❤

I think the saddest part is that you don't feel like your are your best self and that you're a hot mess when you're natural. Whether you perm or decide to be natural you should always feel beautiful, because you are and I'm sure your girls are too!

Girl I was crying with you when you were just racking your hair out. I had that happen to me. Relaxed my hair after my baby it came out and I just cut it and grew it back out I was living my best life with the short hair but through the journey I just learned to love myself. It’s ok baby you are still beautiful and everything will get back on track soon just take it one day at a time love. Sending love and prayers your way!

As somebody that’s fought breast cancer & lost all my hair i can definitely relate it’ll be back before you know it just take you some vitamins & drink plenty of water you’re still pretty

Girl listen, hair holds onto energy. You went through a year of post-partum depression, it was TIME to let it all GO! It may not have seemed like a blessing a the time but the universe was helping to assist your transition into a new beginning, without you knowing. I hope you are doing much better today & you are so strong. big love from London x

You look like a teen yourself lol. Hard to believe you have older children. I can’t imagine how you felt because I haven’t had a baby yet but the fact that you got this far is amazing. I hope you get your life back the way you want it, even better actually.

I would usually say “it’s just hair, it’ll grow back” but in your case, my heart breaks for you. To go from feeling the way you did to possibly worse after the relaxer is the most horrible thing that can happen! I hope you’re doing better now, and know that hair shouldn’t define you. You have such a beautiful structure that you could pull off a buzz cut with no problem, or pixie, and not many girls can.

The most real and vulnerable video I’ve ever seen on the internet

I’ve never internalized so much sadness from someone else before. This broke my heart

You just saved me from getting a relaxer. My heart sank for you when your hair started to come out. You are so incredibly strong.

This brought tears to my eyes, women go through a lot and I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I hope you are doing okay.

Dude you’re such a good mom. I’m in awe. Everything you do, all your actions, you do for your children. I’m truly inspired how you even said you woont break down over your hair because you wouldn’t want your kids seeing that and modeling that behavior. I need to be more like you fr

I admire this lady more then words could ever express. She handled this with nothing less then class…she’s beautiful inside and out!

I've watched this video 3x over the last month or two. I didn't know what to comment back during the first watch, but this is what I've come to. This is absolutely one of my favorite videos. Hearing you discuss your "why" and what you were hoping to achieve and how it included a lesson for your children and just not having time to care for you, the transparency about your postpartum depression, THE RESULT😓...this whole video was FELT. It's always amazing to me how we process through our personal struggles and give different solutions a shot, even with considering the different possible outcomes. We work soooooooo hard to be our best selves and this video is just so revealing to what being a human, and moreover a woman, is. I salute you Gorgeous and I love you💚🌻

I tried to keep a straight face when you were in the car and pulled your sides down and gave it a little 'bump' at the end, but I laughed right along with you. LOL! While losing your hair is no laughing matter, sometimes we have to laugh to keep from continuing to cry.

"Thats how life gon' do me" THAT REALLY GOT ME 😭😭😭

I am one to believe that everything happens for a reason. Your hair was definitely holding on to all the depression you were going thru. Not having THAT hair will help you on your way to total healing and that’s the real flex to show your daughter. What does not serve ME must go!!!!! PERIOD!! You are also beautiful your skin is clear. Your face is bright. All that to say you are going to be so ooooo good and I wish for women that we realize our beauty is eternal. It’s not just one thing!!

As an empath I could feel the deeper pain beyond the hair. It’s refreshing to you see you laughing and smiling about it. Often we are not given our flowers. I’m not a mother but I commend mothers for finding their inner strength for the sake of their offsprings. You are beautiful and strong and will be blessed. Your cries have been heard. Peace and love to you beautiful 😍 plus your skin 😳😳 Gon drop that tutorial sis !!!!

Omg the way you handled this was amazing! Your kids should be happy and proud to have you as their mom regardless👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾

My heart broke when you said "I just wanted to feel better about myself " 😢. I know exactly what that feels like. I'm so sorry you had to go thru that.

To my natural queens about to relax please be sure to use "beautiful beginnings " or a kid relaxer for the first time. It's less harsh on "virgin" hair. Sis I am so sorry this happened to you! I wish you all the best in your regrowth journey. ❤

Thank you for sharing this, sis. It’s the transparency, the humor and the calm strength for me. I would’ve given ANYthing to have a role model like you growing up.

As devastating and heartbreaking as it is to experience this, especially as a black woman because our hair needs more care and maintaining, i admire,adore,and love the way you handled the situation with a calm and patient manner you’re a queen💗

We literally watched you have a nervous breakdown but we also watched you rediscover yourself. I’m really proud of you. I hope it all works out for you. ❤❤❤

Your courage to fight through your internal meltdown to protect and be a great example for your kids - an inspiration! From the outside looking in, this is what I saw: you lost your hair but regained your confidence. I say regained because it never left, it was hiding. You can tell in the way you speak over who you want to present to yourself, your kids, and then the world. Your hair departing was the forced realization YOU are the source of your confidence. Not your hair, outfit, nails, anything - all of YOU. You can rock a sweatsuit, sneakers and be bald-headed and TILT THE ROOM with your presence. The secret sauce is always you, what you put on is your accessory. I'm so proud of you for keeping it real with this video and choosing your joy in chaos. This is only the beginning of reclaiming the Queen energy you always possessed. Sending so much love and light your way!!

You’re an excellent mother.. I’ve decided this based on how you speak about your babies, and how you want to set good examples for them. Your hair will grown back Queen ❤️

The way you remained positive and stayed strong for your children really inspires me. I wish you nothing but the best

Just wanna say that if you notice your hair coming out after your relaxer….. DONT PULL IT OUT. Wait for your hair to dry and get in a stronger state to style it so you can maintain as much hair as possible

I've been natural for 13 years and I've had so so so many set backs and I have to say the way you handled that was phenomenal. Going through postpartum depression is so real and it makes you do things and feel ways you wouldn't normally do or feel. You are a beautiful young lady inside and out. And you are stronger then you realize. The storm doesn't last forever. 1 day at a time focus on 1 thing at a time to not overwhelm yourself. I know that feeling. I am routing for you sister. ❤

I am glad you shared this, i am about 20 months postpartum and i was about to relax my hair because i was experiencing the same emotions you mentioned:not feeling pretty and messy,my hair is brittle and weak. Your video just saved my hair😦 i am glad you shared this.

Girl love the energy at the end. Yes girl. ♥️♥️♥️ That’s depression was in your hair and it was time to go. And new great things are coming your way.

Queen, I'm sorry this happened because you've already been through so much. You're a survivor and btw you really look between 17 and 21 maximum. You are beautiful, you have healthy children who love you, a beautiful home & you are blessed! Short hair actually looks stunning on people with your face & head bone structure. I love your attitude also.

Things happen and we make mistakes but guess what...you're still beautiful, especially with the rap on your hair you're face and skin is glowing. Your hair will grow back so don't feel too bad.

It’s the brand Mizani!!! It burned my scalp so severely!!! I’ve been relaxing for 34 year, every 6 weeks. I tried them twice and the 2nd relaxer had me on fire 🔥! My hair has been continuously been coming out. Stay strong Sis! It will grow back! ❤

I understand what you meant when my hair is done I feel better, and the fact you want your daughters to carry themselves like ladies and put forth an effort in their appearance 👏🏾. You look Fabulous and Youthful!!😎

I understand how you felt. Two days after my 21st birthday I got a perm and ALL of my hair came out. It was like I took a razor to my entire head. I had long relaxed hair and it was healthy. It turned out that something was wrong with the batch and I settled out of court with that company for $4999.99! I have rocked every length hairstyle since then and this all happened 19 years ago. I learned that hair will grow back and if it doesn’t you can always buy some. I’m sure your daughters learned that women are truly superheroes and hopefully your son does too. I hope all is well!❤

Hey girl, it's okay. It's going to be okay. I've been natural for 10 years too, and in that time I've cut my natural hair down to the scalp (multiple times) cuz I was tired. Just tired. You are still beautiful and strong no matter what your hair looks like. I'm praying for continued strength and comfort, in the name of Jesus.🙏

Definitely cried with you. This is so relatable, vulnerable and honest. Just had my son a few months ago and I felt every word you mentioned. Love from 🇨🇦

My heart dropped. My God you handled that a lot better than I would have.

Girl, you have gained a subscriber and well earned. As black females, I felt it when your hair started coming out. We go through so much with our hair and as a mother with 4 girls I definitely understand needing to have my own hair more manageable.

When she said "I literally just wanted to feel better." when pulling out globs of hair I just wanted to cry

Literally fell in love with you as a person, watching this video. Definitely subscribed. You are so resilient and vulnerable at the same time. I love how quickly you turned a terrible experience into an inspiration to grow as a person. You got some significant spiritual growth in that bathroom. The kind of personal growth that a lot of people can't even achieve in a lifetime.

“that’s how life gone do me…” felt this one 😮‍💨🤦🏽‍♀️ I’m so sorry this happened to you love!!!!!!

Honestly good for you for posting this. I would have freaked out and cried and not gone on the internet for 3 months. You’re strong momma you got this

This video was so much more than relaxing natural hair. I actually shed some tears 🥲. Postpartum depression is sooo hard. Praying for you ♥️

YOU SAVED ALOT OF PEOPLE'S HAIR AND YOU SET A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR ANYONE WHO MAY GO THIS... GIRL YOU WILL BE BETTER THAN OK YOU LOOK VERY YOUNG AND YOU CUTE... GIRL YOUR HAIR DIDNT MAKE YOU, ITS OBVIOUS THAT YOU HAVE AN AWESOME PERSONALITY 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

As devastating as it is for a woman I love the way you handled it!

Honestly I admire how humble you were throughout the whole process !!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

The way you handled this devastating experience, I can tell you have the strength of a lion!! You are made of something very special. I hope you are feeling better now.

I was literally crying for you, but love how positive you were at the end!! They do say that hair holds on to energy and if you’ve been going through a depression, it may have just been time for a new start.. P.s. T-shirt and all, you’re beautiful❤️

I can tell you’re an amazing mum. You’re so thoughtful and considerate of your girls, wonderful to see 🥺💕

Yup this literally happened to me last year, so I’m one year into getting my hair long enough to put in a ponytail. I felt like new year new me but instead damn near all my hair fell out and was short ass hell all 22. I stand with you sis 🫶🏾 we live and we learn

When all your hair started coming out I immediately felt my heart sinking. I’ve been on this natural hair journey for a few years and it’s been a struggle and I recently decided to cut it all off and try again. I’m currently in the awkward length stage where it’s too short to really do too much with and I feel so insecure about it as well. I 100% feel like this is the universes way of telling you it’s time to start fresh & get back to loving you.

I can’t imagine you looking “ a mess” you’re so pretty!! I know how traumatic it is to loose hair. I’ve had 3 babies. I finally cut it down to a cute natural curly pixie. My youngest is now 4 and my hair is almost bsl 🙌🏽 it will grow back….hang in there and take care of yourself.

Love how you handled a scary situation by adding humor. My heart dropped when I saw the hair falling out because you had such good hair prior to the relaxer. Love you positive spirit. Now you get to rock short hair and you look beautiful either way. It's just hair is what I say. Tfs 😊

Prayers, lady, and love coming your way. The creamy crack was calling me, but seeing your video made me rethink going back to a perm. Thank you and I am so sorry for your pain.

After having postpartum for a year and then trying to make yourself feel better and then this. I could tell you were defeated... but only for a second. I love how you still smiled and gave us motivation and then even laughed at yourself after crying all night! Your amazing and congratulations on the new baby. I had a baby in 2020 and my hair is so disappointing to me too but we are okaylol!

This happened to me in high school omg I cried like every day and it took a while for it to grow back. I had literal bald spots that had to grow in. You really handled that sis

I wish more you tubers would be this HONEST ❤

Babygirl you are still gorgeous with or without your hair done, cut or pressed. You’re such a strong woman to hold it together for your babies. I applaud your strength boo!

I cried so hard because I felt this. This happened to me after I had my last child and I didn’t even relax it. Literally all my hair fell out. I’ve been wanting to relax my hair after 7 years of natural hair and you saved me from experiencing heartbreak again.

Mamas I’m so sorry this happened to you. This just humbled me🥺

Watching this broke my heart. I hope your hair has recovered and that you are feeling beautiful. 💜

You're honesty is on a whole other level. You're saying what some women feel. We all make mistakes. That's how we learn and grow. BTW you look so young like you're in hs. You're beautiful! Don't let your hair define you.

You are so strong! 💪🏾 As you speak I feel every word. I too had postpartum depression after childbirth and my confidence was shot too. I lost all my edges and my hair did grow so much during childbirth, but after it just wasn’t right. So I know exactly how you wanted to feel. Stay strong Sis! You are being true to yourself and your life, being authentic will always be a good example for your kids❣️

All my thoughts of perming my hair after 8yrs just went out the window. Thank you for your courage to share. You are indeed still beautiful and your beautiful locs will grow back better than ever.

I love this video it was giving very much real life lol. As a person with chronic anxiety, it's important to understand not all thoughts mean something or is true. Using the word manifestation to identify invasive thoughts or rumination can be harmful. Manifestation is not caused by a fleeting or fear-driven thought, it must be done with clear intentions followed by a series of different practices (writing, rituals, affirmations etc) of your choice. So don't scare yourself too much lol. It was kind of an impulsive move, so maybe it was just your intuition telling you to slow down and be more careful. Who knows🤷🏾‍♀️ All I know is you got a new subscriber!!

She's literally so pretty with little to no hair. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise.

I have went through this!! My hair was over processed due to coloring and applying a relaxer to soon.I WAS IN SHOCK! After I got over the initial shock 😳 I went to a hair stylist and they cut ✂️ it short and it grew in healthy and beautiful. Its okay sis. New beginning enjoy the process

I have only been natural going on 4 years & I was not considering on perming it but now I wouldn’t even think about it….I’m sorry this happened to you because I understand where you’re coming from. Natural hair does take time to up-keep. Praying for you sis 🙏🏽

In case of anyone in the comments planning to relax or bleach, hopefully you don't have need for this comment but just in case. If your hair gets damaged from relaxer or bleaching DO NOT keep running your hands through it while wet. Wait till it dries. It becomes a bit stronger and although a lot may still fall out. It will be a lot less when dried.

im so sorry thank u for being so transparent with us so raw and genuine and normal and informative and comforting and strong and real most of all super relatable. God bless you and your daughters ..they lucky to have you

Side note, always listen to your anxiety!!!! Lol my doctor reinforced that its okay to listen to that feeling and stop and recalibrate and go in a different direction.

Dang, man I reacted in JUST the beginning but actually watching the video all the way through really hits home to me. I just had my first child at the start of Covid and it was extremely hard. Postpartum depression hit me out the blue like a subway train. I was so depressed that I lost 40lbs in less than a month. A year later I wanted something different with my hair and I bleached it going for a platinum blonde for the first time and it worked out but I told myself it needed to be more blonde LOL and bleached it AGAIN and boyyyyyyyy did I tear my hair up! I looked like Torrey lanez when he was on the court playing basketball. Hair fried dyed and laid to the side hunni the top of my head looked like a tennis ball and the rest was just sticking out. Baby if George Jefferson got the remainder of his hair relaxed that’s EXACTLY what I looked like. But I’ve been through many trials with my hair so I couldn’t do nothing BUT laugh. I went to my stylist and she got me together. Believe it or not, not even a month later I’m like I want something different again. My natural color & curl pattern started coming back thru and I didn’t want that because once my hair fully grows out it is absolutely too much to manage. So girl, I LIFTED my hair again to a platinum…. Left the purple shampoo in my head & it turned my hair lavender! But nothing to fear it was still bomb. So long story short days later could you believe I relaxed my hair and my hair literally felt like elastic and just melted off AS I was combing the relaxer through my hair. And that was it for me I laughed, got my clippers and just shaved my head bald. Was still beautiful, wore wigs etc. grew my hair long enough to get braids and I’ve been growing it back ever since. Nevertheless you are not your hair. You’re beautiful and you can rock ANYthing. Always reminder that. And let your girls know as well they are not their hair!💜💜💜best of luck to you on your hair journey

You have an AMAZING attitude and personality!!!! Your are not only a queen, but a strong and caring mother! I wish you a speedy healthy hair recovery as you definitely deserve it! Peace to you sister.

When you said, “That’s how life gonna do me?” I felt that pain.

Ladies, no matter what we put on us or do to our hair/body, our true value lies within us! Yes, feeling beautiful is something that we all deserve, but that starts within.

Yes we have to laugh to keep from crying QUEEN i feel every strength of your pride tho! No matter what you should’ve done or whatever you know what you want and need to keep happy! Make this lesson & results be your best and keep your head up QUEEN!!! Stay positive is the key ❤️

Your perspective and the way you handled this was awesome. The real definition of turning lemons into lemonade.

Oh sweetheart! My heart broke for you but there is nothing that can’t be fixed over time with patience and consistency. Your hair will grow back as long as you take care of it. I commend you for being sooooo brave and vulnerable with us; a lot of us wouldn’t have had the strength to post this video. So for that I thank you for being so courageous and warning black women what NOT to do to our hair. This was a teachable moment for all of us ❤️

Thank you for sharing this. You are a strong and amazing woman. I hope you didn't let this moment get you down, it's hair and it will grow back. Look at it on the bright side, you just let go of years of stress, depression, anxiety and more from your hair. You are liberated and ready for a fresh start

This has happened to me twice . I was in the 10 grade and it also happened two years ago . I had to shave my hair completely off. I wore wigs . I’m currently natural for the third time 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ I’m sticking with natural because I don’t think I can take perms anymore. I’m 41 years old and my hair isn’t stronger as it used to

Oh my goodness, I went from devastation, to crying, to busting out laughing with you! You are so freaking brave and beautiful💜

You are so beautiful. You are absolutely beautiful for this, it takes A LOT of strength and vulnerability to put a video like this up. My hair is heat damaged after 5 years of being natural and healthy and it broke me (because of other things in my life that have pushed me to the edge). Seeing THIS has given me so much strength! So thank you for your honesty, and 2 years later I hope your hair journey has been fruitful!♥️

I experienced the same thing after having my 3rd baby. My hair came out from the roots and was very thin so I went natural. As I was watching your hair prior to you relaxing it I was saying Nooo!!! I knew your hair was too weak for a relaxer. I nourished my hair back to life and now it’s back down my back. It’s just hair and it will grow back sis!! You’re beautiful!!!

I went from natural back to relaxed, then going back to natural. I used kiddy relaxers. Your natural hair responds differently after children and with age in learning. So im always extra cautious!

You know what? You are so brave and strong and I applaud you for even posting this video Queen. God bless you and your new hair journey 💞

I just wanted to tell you what an incredibly strong, beautiful, and wonderful soul I felt you were while I was watching this video. So relatable were your emotions and the strength in coping with the trauma of that moment, all of the internal struggles and battles left unmentioned, and of life in general. It wasn't just about hair. ❤

I honestly feel for you. I remember my first perm at 13, kept it touched up it for years while on a SWIM TEAM, no one taught me nothing about hair damage, so I would flat iron or curl it before school EVERY DAY. Then for an upcoming event, went to get it straightened and the next time i washed it, the entire bottom left quadrant of my head lost hair. I was traumatized as a little girl. Haven't put heat or chemicals in since, and struggle to trust certain products aside from regular oils/water/homemade conditioners & treatments to this day. My heart goes out to you. You will find your confidence back

Girl, there’s nothing more beautiful than me waking up with big brushy curly hair. If I want to change it just throw a wig on. We got to love our natural hair because we are beautiful. Im so sorry for what you experienced. I did the same in 2019 after my baby. I shaved my entire head and now I’m back to long curly hair.

I absolutely love youu!! I love your energy, your mentality, your mindset! This could have been a spiraling situation but you didn't let it! You're a great example for your children. I keep hearing that postpartum shedding is too real!! It will grow back thicker healthier and longer!! You got this mama!!

GIRLLLL!!!! I salute You for your patience and calm in the midst of what you were experiencing during the time of this video!! I literally went thru losing nearly ALL of my hair a month ago. Mines was triggered by a new medicine my docs had put me on. I also now feel maybe due to stress and trauma I carried in my body and hair as well added onto it.. I FELT EVERY BIT of it when you washed out the relaxer & started pulling out hair..mines came out in clumps as well..I was soo devasted and traumatized all I could is laugh like you did and take it all in stride...God has a bigger plan for my life and maybe I needed to shed more 'weight ' as I go thru my transformation and elevation..Not sure how you ended up on my timeline, but glad I was able to see it. I see a beautiful, strong black queen rising above any obstacle meant to break you. Thank You for sharing your story, I am a new subscriber! God Bless 🙏🏾💜