Religion and Gay Marriage 

"The truth is, marriages are intensely personal and they are defined not by courts or voters, but by the people who live inside of them." Possibly one of the best commentaries on marriage I have ever heard.

Honestly, eight years later this still holds up, I feel like that's special. Really appreciated the inclusion of intersex people in this conversation.

“You can’t get married because of my religion” = “You can’t eat a cookie because of my diet”

I am not against non-traditional marriages. I am very opposed to theme weddings.

"Gay marriage is already happening. It has been happening, in fact, for as long as human beings have been pledging themselves to each other." Hello. I'm bi, and I'm crying because that was unexpectedly beautiful.

Fun fact: it is because of this video that my partner and I are now married. In the sense of we are married by pre-16th century standards as in we both decided we want to be married. So we are. Boom. Thank you Vlogbrothers for that wonderful moment in my life

I am offensive and I find this very married.

Wow, I'm really impressed with these comments. You go, internet! You didn't suck for once.

"Oh yeah, that one recent North Carolina law that's hugely upsetting." Video from 2012, yet still topical. ಠ_ಠ

I support gay marriage, because I support any opportunity to have cake

For all those who see the latest comments, let this be a warning: DON'T SCROLL DOWN. Don't. If you are a good person, you'll be very brought down by the stupidity, and if you are a bigot, your small dried up brain will hurt from the arguments against your point. There is only pain in this comment thread. Leave, for your own sake.

John Green for president.

And he addresses intersex people and trans* stuff. JOHN GREEN, you sir, get a fucking Boy Scout badge for awesome.

"Those marriages won't affect yours". Such a simple concept that so many can't seem to understand.

Today the SCOTUS ruled for marriage equality. Most of the anger I see about this decision is the same rhetoric that "God made marriage between one man and one woman." So yes, even 3 years later, this video is still relevant. It will probably remain relevant for many years to come. Whenever I have a friend pull out the religion thing, this is my go to video because it explains the situation more calmly, better thought out, and more rational than I could ever do myself because it has been an issue which affected me directly. Thank you John Green.

Thank you so much, John, for having had these types of opinions and points to make even this long ago. Your inclusion of intersex people meant a lot to me back then, and I just *know* that if this was something you talked about today, you would also include gender identity in your recognition of the absurdity of denying people rights. Thank you and Hank for decreasing worldsuck for so long. DFTBA

You know, if I had watched this 10 years ago when it was uploaded, it could have made me stop watching the Greens, which would have been a sore loss for me. I've done a lot of growing up since then and I'm glad to say I'm a better person than I was and I owe at least part of that to watching these two brother talk on the internet.

Wow... This is the first time I have heard anyone that has brought up intersex when discussing this issue. It seems like a very difficult thing for one man one women people to argue against.

I am a conservative christian. I believe in the literal interpretation of the Bible, not taken out of context, but the new and old testaments taken as a whole. Whenever I make choices in my life, great or small, the Bible is the principle thing that informs my choices. I believe sexual relations outside of the parameters described in the Bible, ARE in rebellion to God's will, my definition of sin. BUT...these are my beliefs, my choices. The laws of this country do not exist to force others to conform to my beliefs. The laws of this country exist to protect people and property. No one needs protection from consenting adults in the privacy of their own home. All of us need protection to pursue the mandates of our conscience, so long as we ourselves are not harming other people or their property in that pursuit. As much as I believe that homosexual relationships defy God's will, I also believe so called anti-homosexual marriage laws violate freedom of religion. Ultimately, people marry based on their own specific set of morals, beliefs and ethics, and while some are uncomfortable calling this their religion, I believe they are in the same family and should be protected in the same manner. Examples of sexual practices that should be prohibited by law: pedophilia, bestiality, rape, any form of prostitution that is exploitive. Why these and not gay marriage? Simple. The law is to protect people and property. Homosexual adults are consenting and of an age to consent. The other sexual practices I listed harm someone who does not consent, who is vulnerable and needs the protection of the law. Examples of sexual practices that violate my personal beliefs about God's law, but that should NOT be prohibited by law: adultery, sex outside marriage, homosexual sex, prostitution where the prostitute is not being exploited or coerced, but is in charge of the transaction. (The assumption being with all of these that all parties are consenting adults.) Why? There is neither property or a person that needs to be protected by the law. ( On a side note, bigamy, where all are adults that consent, should be lawful. I think it's impractical, and I can think of a few notable examples in the Bible where it made for some pretty toxic family dynamics, but I digress...) We need to realize in this country that while we do have a right to our constitutionally-protected freedoms, we do not have a right to be un-offended. The law does not exist to make you feel like everyone agrees with you and prevent another person's viewpoint from hurting your feelings. I write this to Christians, Atheists, Homosexuals, Heterosexual, whatever... "Tolerance" is not demanding that everyone conforms to your version of rightness, AND DEMONIZING THEM WHEN THEY DON'T. Tolerance is respecting the rights of all people in this country to have their own life and own opinion, so long as they are not physically hurting someone (I'm sorry, words definitely hurt but it is impractical in most cases to legislate hurt feelings), or destroying others property. And remember that generally offensive opinions are a TWO-WAY street. Usually if someone's opinion or choices offend YOU, YOUR opposite opinion or choices are equally offensive to THEM. We need to celebrate that we have the privilege of being an diverse country because that means our own person is provided for, and bear patiently the inescapable side effect of a generally free society: hurt feelings when others think we are wrong-- being respectful to each other anyway! (And prosecuting the crap out of someone when they are not good stewards of those freedoms--whether it's firing a gun into a church or beating a LGBT person, or any person!!!)

I am religious and I don't find this offensive

This is awesome. A guy who calls himself a Christian, whose writing is the voice of our generation today, and is pro gay marriage. We need more people like this!

If you love someone, and are willing to make that commitment to them, then absolutely get married. Make that promise to them. I don't care what sex you identify as. Find someone you love, and who loves you, and be happy in life.

I just want to marry my japanese boyfriend so that we can have the same RIGHTS as everyone else. If a black man can marry a white woman, a white man marry more than one woman (Utah...), and straight people marry and divorce, then why not just let me marry to a man. It makes more sense than most.

I am Muslim and I support love, respect and peace. sending love to all you humans :)

I marry you! I marry you! Mmmmmmmarried!

I am a Christian and my church supports the LGBT community. Two of our three pastors are gay.

I would love if all religious persons were like you.

1:07 - they do not teach us this! If it weren't for Tumblr, I'd have never had known!

Should have also mentioned that marriage is not an invention by Judeo-Christian religions, but can be traced back even to the first human civilizations and was very likely always a mere contract between two (and sometimes more) people to find an agreement on how to share and inherit property and wealth. Most of Christians' understanding of Marriage, as that kind of romanticized thing is extremely young and modern. I'd say for at least three millennia people only married because of financial reasons (and of course to inherit a throne or other important posiition in a country) and not out of love. Even after Christianity came around in Europe that hold true, you only need to peak into the crazy arranged marriages between nobilities until the 19th century. There is a reason why the whole "young girl is married to sadistic but rich douche, actually wants to marry the farmer's son but can't" trope became so popular in fiction around that time. Also about the "didn't marry in churches" thing: apparently the majority of regular people (so more than the half of europe's population) could only symbolically marry, because they were too piss poor to even pay for the whole thing.

Note that four years later and we have actually come a long way. Sometimes it's hard to tell that we've changed, with all the hatred, but a large portion of comments on these videos are now positive. It's a tiny little start.

I would like to point out a very important fact, there are the 10 commandments and there is the bible. The commandments state: You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make idols. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Honor your father and your mother. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet. The most frequently quoted line in the bible that states anything about gay sex/marriage is by Leviticus 18:22 "You shall not lie with a man as you do a woman, it is an abomination." However when we take a closer look we realise that the Levitical laws were rules limiting the "Ancient Jews", in the new testament Jesus Christ throws out these laws along with the laws that forbid eating pig, these laws no longer apply to the christian/catholic world. The 10 commandments simply state (in terms of sex), by the word of Our Father that adultery shall not be committed and one MUST be married before sexual relations arise. These were the words of the lord. Now how many may I ask of you work on a sunday? How many of you say "Oh My God!", how many of you have not honoured your parents, how many of you have lusted after another when already committed, how many of you have stolen, how many of you have lied and how many of you have had sex before marriage. If we are to talk about the sanctity of marriage in terms of the bible then those who have had sex before marriage and who have committed adultery should be stoned. If you are to use the bible, a book that endorses love, forgiveness and kindness, to hide behind your own personal prejudices is to not live by the word of God and by doing so are the least respectful of your religion. To disallow two people to get married but to go ahead and eat pork is the highest form of hypocrisy. Do not use the bible to justify your personal prejudices, God is the almighty loving being and to discriminate a group of people by using him is the severest form of sin.

I completely agree with you Mr.Green. It's no Different than discriminating against religion. What someone chooses to believe is their right under the constitution and we have no right to discriminate against them because of their beliefs and quite frankly the fact that it happens is just sad. Thank you for making the point point that I have been thinking of for months.

My mom, who was accepting of homosexuality, started watching TBN (a Christian TV network) and now she thinks homosexuality is a sin and gays will burn in hell. I'm very frustrated by this.

I’ll never understand how people can personally believe gay marriage is a sin, and try to force that view on others. The first amendment is pretty clear on religion and how the US shouldn’t establish one for all.

i am religious and everytime someone say bullshit like god hates gays i get really angry,because my religion says he loves EVERYONE...and we should do the same....love everyone,treat everyone as equals...

I know this video was from six years ago, but I stumbled upon it once again. I love how you mentioned that not all people in a certain religion believe that gay marriage is bad. This is very true because I am Muslim and many of my friends and peers who also share the same religion are either part of the LGBTQ+ community as well, or support it. Just because someone is part of a certain religion that is not in favor of LGBTQ+ relationships, doesn’t mean EVERYONE in the religion believes so. Like many of my Christian friends have quite unsupportive parents when it comes to this subject matter, but they themselves are very supportive or even gay themselves. Just a thought. Thank you, John.

Honestly personal lives are not the place for anyone to set rules or regulations. Religion shouldn't go anywhere past beliefs in god and government should only get involved with things that affect other people. If someones personal life isn't negatively affecting anyone else, then nobody has the right to say that it is wrong

wow, the comments on this video are a lot less hectic than the ones in Hank's video. The relaxation is nice.

2023 comment from an Aussie. Hey USA, what happened to all the great strides you made in equality, personal freedom and equity? I think you broke humanity.

Its also interesting to note that while other churches in my area are actively and deliberately refusing gay couples and individuals even entrance into their churches, the Local episcopal church next door to my home (actually just down the street) is welcoming all into their fold with open arms no matter what their belief, race gender and sexual preference is. The pastor of that church who is a wonderful fellow preaches a message of love and forgiveness to all, not this segregation and hate of someone simply because of their sexual preference. That fellow is an example of what a Christian SHOULD be, not these intolerant bigoted idiots intent on segregation a certain part of our population because of something their buying into they THINK their bibles say.

I’m way late to this party, but thank you! I always wondered how churches got themselves tangled into such a universal thing.

0:59 still a better love story than twilight

Why does the government get a say in who we marry? If you are going to say someone can't get married, then NO ONE can get married gay or straight.

Goddamn it EQUAL RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE OKAY? Please, please please please, follow you religion and believe in it and worship it as much as you like. BUT DONT FORCE YOUR BELIEFS ONTO OTHERS AND OPRESS THEM FOR IT. Just because you believe something, doesn't mean everyone else has to too.

Jesus preached LOVE and FAITH. So I have FAITH that the God I believe in does not condemn any two people promising to LOVE each other until they die.

Ok, I am a Christian, but I support Gay Marriage. Yes, almost unheard of I know. But I have researched everything I could in the bible that apparently states gay's aren't allowed, the only things I've found is that one cannot bed with another of the same gender for LUST ONLY. Which is the same for EVERYONE! So the whole, 'The bible says NO on getting married because you love the other gay person' is wrong. The bible only says no to having sex with someone strictly for Lust and not for actually Love. So if you actually love the person you're marrying, I really hope so, than go crazy. Also, the bible speaks of giving forgiveness and kindness, so every single Christian/Catholic hating on gay people for going against the bible are also going against the bible as well. I have stated my case, go nuts.

Although this was posted years ago, this is still so incredibly relevant. This guy has always been a grounding and informational force for me, especially in this video as a person of the LGBTQ+ community. I appreciate this so much 🤍🤍

Damn, North Carolina, back at it again with the bigotry

I'm neither religious or gay, but i want to say something. As John said, their marriage doesn't affect yours. The bible was written a really, really long time ago, and i think it's weird some people still consider living after it. The People who wrote the bible had great points back then, but they doesn't fit in todays society anymore. You can still marry the classical way and be happy, others may arent. All religious people say god loves everyone, and i think that's true, becaue your sexual orientation doen't define you as a human being!

When I saw that this was 11 years ago I got a lil nervous but based asf

I don’t get all these people who aren’t even married getting all fed up over people they will probably never meet

This is basically all the ideas that I've been trying to explain to people for ages summed up in a 2 minute video. Thankyou John Green!

It is interesting to observe the extent to which this video is both still relevant and also partially outdated. For example, gender identity was not mentioned at 1:06 but the fact of nonbinary people was brought up. Both out of date, but also still recent.

I'm religious. I'm not gay. I'm also under 18 and, as I've concluded, I'm much more mature than most adults. My religion does not define my beliefs. As a Christian I'm told that it's a sin or whatever but if that is what it means to be Christian then I don't know what I want to believe. When we were kids we were all told to be ourselves and to not worry about what others think but when we grow up and begin to discover our sexuality and discover who we truly are, those same people immediately turn around and tell us what is right and what is wrong. What happened to everyone accepting who we are? Isn't it just easier to let other be free to be who they'd like? So let them be.

Hanks video about this got recommended to me 11 years later and now this ones getting recommended to me now Im happy about it, I'd never seen them before!

I have come across this video quite often and I have never been sick of watching it. The points made in both this and Hank's video are just incredible. I am honestly left astounded by how anyone can argue against them.

Agreed. What would solve this issue is educating and implementing the difference between a marriage of the state and a marriage of god. While were at it, lets make the metric system standard in the US.

I'm a Christian and although I may not agree with everything you said, I want to thank you for posting this informative video. You presented yourself not only intelligently, but respectfully. I appreciate that. I think we need more sharing like this.

I'm not very religious, so I'm prob not the right person to ask in terms of the teological arguments for and against.. I'm a pragmatist tho - and if you get a tax exemption, or reduction, for being an organized religion - then you're being effectively paid by the society as a whole to perform religious services. If gay marriages are legal, then the priest is obligated to wed them - if he doesn't, then he isn't performing the services society pays him for and the church should be taxed accordingly. Either you're part of society or you aren't.

I've never seen this put so succinctly and thoroughly before! Thank you!! Happy pride months folks! :D

It’s only been legal in the US for five years and already it’s hard for me to imagine it being “illegal”. I’ve been with my husband fifteen years. We finally got married in 2015, after Obergefell. And, just as I predicted, the right threw a fit in the immediate aftermath, then quickly moved on to something else because the American people los interest once they realized it had no effect on their lives. Now hardly anyone bats an eye at it. Which is exactly how it should be.

amazing we are STILL arguing about this in Australia

Thank you for this ;) I know I’m like 7 almost 8 years late but this really helped me feel better about myself since I’m gay and have been told I can’t get married to a woman if I love god.

So glad you made this video. I think that since you became so identifiable with the younger generation i.e teenagers, this video could help those who come from a traditional/conservative background to accept the fact that, whether they like it or not, gay marriages are human rights and are already happening. You can never stop people from living their rights. Thank you John Green, you have truly made a difference in the lives of millions of young people.

peson: homosexuality is unnatural me: homosexuality is in over 400 hundred species and homophobia is in one... and your calling me unnatural

GAH. This video makes me so happy. You guys don't even know. I'm straight, and entirely female, but that doesn't negate the right to other people being happy. And because I fall into a category people consider "normal" or "socially acceptable" doesn't mean that I hate on people who are considered not to be. Yes, I am a Christian. Yes, I believe that God created men and women to be together but that does not mean that He does not love those who believe- and feel - otherwise. Gods grace covers all people. When will the world finally learn that?

Thank you very much for this video. I always appreciate it when someone gives their thoughts and why the think them as it gives people knowledge and hopefully broadens their empathy just a bit more.

I have to repost this part because it´s so good: "We need to realize in this country that while we do have a right to our constitutionally-protected freedoms, we do not have a right to be un-offended. The law does not exist to make you feel like everyone agrees with you and prevent another person's viewpoint from hurting your feelings." (Part of a long post by a Christian, reposted by an atheist - we disagree with what the other says, but will defend their right to say it. And live it. Go democracy!)

Oh I love you. Everytime I find a person like you, I gain a little of faith in humanity. And then I see the commenn this kind of videos and it just disappears again. I really have to learn to ignore the comments.

Sometimes it strikes me that gay marriage only became legal nationally for US in 2015 and I see videos like this that aren’t that old but came out 3 years before and it’s very disorienting

This is an old video, but I had to comment and say that this is one of my personal favorite videos ever made.

ok my problem with making marriage that happens to be between two people of the same sex illegal is this, while I would be totally fine giving my girlfriend a ring and telling her I am committed to her for life the problem is when one of us gets cancer and cant leave the hospital because legally we aren't related in any way and so could not see each other or use our insurance for each other which is just plain wrong. To those of you married people against gay marriage I want to ask how you would feel if your husband or wife was dying in the hospital and you couldn't see them because other people had decided your marriage made them uncomfortable.

These comments are really disappointing, I thought there would be more progression

I often wondered if having sex with someone meant that I was married to that person. By this logic I have had 10 wives and also been divorced 10 times.

I was scared to scroll down but I'm actually surprised at how supportive these comments are, like it's a huge suprise after things I've seen and I don't feel discouraged for who I am. The internet is a good place for once.

I just want to say that although I'm a Brit and many of your fabulous videos are tangential to my life. I am completely hooked on them. I love your delivery and your wit and the clarity of your argument. Total fan.

Slay john I want to start clapping because all religious people should express their views the way you do and stop making us Christians look bad

Just the energy he executes is amazing..

This video is important and necessary. John and Hank I appreciate eveything you do for this community, keep up the good work you do for all disenfranchised communities. lu. see u in the next video.

i love you 8 years later this is still very important

Yup. The existence of intersex people kinda blows the whole argument against "gay marriage" out of the water.

I am a Christian and my wife is a Christian. We are also both inherently sinful people. But our marriage was blessed by God. Who are we to deny the word of God to gay people or to anyone at all?

My teacher puts your videos on in class, I saw this in my recommended, im happy

I feel so happy to see how understanding nerd fighters are. this community is awesome and I believe it will make this world a better place. DFTBA

As long as people are happy, then I don't care who they marry.

Here's my default response to the entire " why don't they just have a part and be committed to each other" thing. Go sit at the back of the bus. It's not for people like you. It gets to the same place in the same time, what's the problem?

True that!! John you sir are amazing, my brother and I are big fans of everything you do from writing books and clever quotes to your videos and thoughtful ideas. Keep it up!!!

Oh man. Thank you so much for making this. This is wonderful!

That whole video I was screaming "TRUTH" at the screen!

Shaving one's beard is listed as a sin much more frequently in the Bible than gay marriage. So unless you've never shaved, you have no room throw a stone at gay people. In other words, don't be intolerant over another biblical abiding imperfection, unless you are as perfect as Jesus supposedly was.

hey i know this was uploaded 11 years ago but thank you so so so much

Hi it’s 2020... just wanted to say thanks, John. For your books, movies, and great talks 😄

Just one question. But where did the plushies come from???

10 yrs later, still a slaying king 🙌

good job taking an unbiased and accurate point of view john! also i am very impressed how you didn't blink for the entire video

This was an exceptional video. Just wanted to say that. Good job!

I wish there were more chill religious people like you. You're awesome.

"And 2, I read your comments from the last video and it was a little discouraging." ahaha

I can pinpoint changes in my interests, dreams, goals and ideas by whether I choose to watch 200 John videos before bed, or Hank ones. I used to be very sciencey, have in the last five years become increasingly write-y.. and find myself more interested in the social sciences..? which I seem to get more of, at least contextually, from John..? admire them both, adore near-every video on this channel, but I can really see the trajectory of my interests and study-goals in my VlogBrothers watch-time..

Even tho this is an old video, I am so glad that both this and Hank's video on this topic exist. With how out of control people are about hating lgbtq+ people (primarily because of the dailywire+), this was a huge breath of fresh air to me. People fail to understand that humans are unique and that non typical things are in fact natural. People suddenly believe that people are trying to appropriate womanhood, "mutilate" themselves, groom children, and take away "real" womens rights. Then they use very extreme pictures of horrible disgusting things happening in front of kids saying "See what they're doing!" They treat them like a hivemind that all does the exact same thing. A lot more crap is happening that I don't have to explain (look at twitter and certain laws going into effect).