Reliving my religious trauma | Preacher's Daughter Album Reaction 

You were LITERALLY THE ONLY person who knew right from Thoroughfare that something bad was happening. EVERYONE gets caught by the melody and thinks is a love song. The fact you knew it INSTANTLY was INSANE. And knowing what Ptolomaea was about was INSANE. Your sensitivity trough all this amazed me so much. How you picked EVERY. LITTLE. DETAIL in this nightmare of a journey. Best react whit this album i have ever seen. This album changed me. It completely changed my perception about music, and how you can tell a story trough it. Knowing Ethel did all that by herself is INSANE. I think she would be so moved if she saw your video. Thank you so much for your courage sharing this with us. 🩵

the most empathetic reaction ive seen so far to this album. not only looking into the lyrics but analyzing the themes and ideas being discussed, not just brushing it off as being dark but discussing what brings people to these self destructive patterns and how hard it is to escape them. beautiful reaction.

Sun bleached flies is perhaps the best piece of music about religion I’ve ever heard. She captures the hopelessness of losing religion, and the sense of coming to terms with what comes afterwards in such a heartbreaking, painful, and yet, somehow hopeful, way. It’s just so beautiful.

Hard times messes me up the most. Its about her being s abused by her dad as a kid and omg I cried watching you react to it

THIS was the type of ethel cain reaction i was looking for. keep it up!!

This album is literally a spiritual experience. I cried like a baby the whole way through

Your reaction to the first note of house in nebraska is so real😭💔

"how it keeps getting worse" while tearing up on the third song girl................... knowing what was coming made me feel bad about it, loved how you not only listened but felt every track.

i know a lot of people talk about the scream in ptolemaea, but something that sends the most shivers down my spine is the death rattle you hear towards the end

This is the best "Preacher's Daughter" reaction I've watched so far. Of course it wasn't good to watch someone be so triggered by it (like I was), but watching someone who only read about it once before and then understood which song and what it meant was so relatable. The way you immediatly understood "Throughfare" even though it was meant to be misleading in the way only a victim of abuse could understand was heartbreaking. Thanks for this, really. Great reaction

Timestamps ⭐️ 4:31 Family Tree (Intro) 7:32 American Teenager 12:10 A House in Nebraska 15:33 Western Nights 19:15 Family Tree 23:22 Hard Times 26:56 Thoroughfare 30:10 Gibson Girl 33:31 Ptolemaea 37:12 August Underground 38:37 Televangelism 40:18 Sun Bleached Flies 43:19 Strangers 49:57 Final Thoughts

The piano she is playing in televangelism is her (Hayden's) family's 120 year old piano

Not me saying "yeah girl, yeah" as she came to the realization about what happens in Strangers.... girl. You need to react to more music because i LOVE your takes, you're so empathetic and I love it.

I think you're the most Ethel Cain-coded person to react to this album 🤣 Fr tho, I wanna thank you for sharing your reaction to this album. When you talked about being raised on the baptist church and spending your whole childhood searching for a connection with Jesus that never came... that hit me hard, that's literally where I get transported to every time I hear the lyrics of American Teenager 🖤🖤

She's making two more albums in this story. Preacher's Wife and Preacher's Mother

I loved your thoughts about Thoroughfare. The immediate skepticism when you heard she was hitchhiking and the red flag that went up... great intuition! The song has this air of freedom or liberation to it, but only when you're looking at it from Ethel's point of view because she's naive and hopeful and has only experienced love with explicit forms of violence. From the outside or after hearing the rest of the album, it makes it so much sadder because you know she's hopping into a stranger's vehicle and his violence is concealed, like he's completely taking advantage of her naivety. It's my absolute favorite on the album.

She produced this all herself too. This album and the person behind it is an incredible talent. She might go the way of Lana Del Rey. Influential but seldom rewarded for it. I think future artists are going to look at Ethel Cain and revere her. She has plans for a lot more following this work.

I was raised in the midwest, not the south, but as a queer child who was raised in the church, in a town of less than 250, I cannot express how identical my experience was with this album. The metaphors that paint this tragic story while simultaneously bringing feelings to a height they've never reached before as far as familial and religious traumas is terrifyingly beautiful. I commend you for being so vulnerable and sharing your experience listening to this. I feel seen, and I hope reading these comments and learning more of Ethel/Hayden's story makes you feel seen as well. 🥺🖤

the whole time i kept thinking “wait til sun bleached flies”

your intuition during Thoroughfare was astounding ngl. if something seems too good to be true, that's usually bc it is, which we're quick to learn later in the album. as someone who also has some pretty severe religious trauma, i felt your reactions through the whole video. this album is both immensely triggering in some points, & immensely healing in others. "god loves you but not enough to save you" altered something in my brain chemistry frfr. i also agree with your closing thoughts about the importance of this album's popularity. the thing about great artists being overlooked is that it's often the best artists who are singing about important things. not to be all "mainstream music is all shallow & i'm too cool for that," but i do feel like artists who delve into heavier & uncomfortable topics like this get little attention bc a vast majority of people prefer music that's easy to listen to. in reality tho, people really should stop turning a blind eye to things (especially music) that aren't afraid to be painfully honest & raw about uncomfortable subjects, just bc it's important to be aware of the suffering of others. which is all to say, great reaction! take care of yourself, alright?

This is actually the best Preacher’s Daughter reaction I’ve seen on here, your sincerity and openness made this reaction so much more better and you’re one of the few people I’ve seen who reacted to this album who were able to pick on the subtle details and undertext especially of each songs in Thoroughfare since most people think it’s a happy song about freedom and finding true love when in reality it’s about Ethel (the character) getting kidnapped and developing stockholm syndrome, Hayden herself has said Ethel is an unreliable narrator. Oh and my favourite part is during the reaction of Strangers when you said “how could it possibly get worse” and it immediately got so much worse.

Shocked how well you understood the story without any context! Great reaction

I just have to say that I have seen so so so many preachers daughter reaction videos (it is an obsession at this point) and you are the only one to truly GET IT at the first listen and without even having to read the backstory. It is just impressive you managed to understand the hitchhiking, pimping, murder and cannibalism all in one go (that part is usually were first-time listeners begin to stumble) and I hope you're doing well after being just bombarded with such strong feelings

r.i.p. Ethel Cain you would've loved @shadie rae😔😔😔

i had the privledge of seeing this live and i made it through a house in nebraska without crying until she kept singing "i feel so alone." i moved states away for college and i just felt so alone and i truly felt as if she was singing that for me. beautiful reaction

I could see every bit of pain as you listened. It's so rare, brave, and beautiful to be this vulnerable. Not only to yourself BUT to put it online for hundreds of others to see. I'm so SO grateful to have seen this, you've absolutely touched me. I really hope you're able to find some healing, I could tell those scars run deep. Thank you!! Thank you for sharing!!!!

beautiful reaction. even as someone that has no religious trauma and did not grow up with any religion being enforced, the depth of ethel's lyrics still touch my soul in an unbelievable way (like many of us). there's a million and one things to highlight throughout the entire album, but the line "and jesus, if you're there, why do i feel alone in this room with you?" brings tears to my eyes everytime. i may not be able to understand it in a religious sense, but the idea of feeling completely and utterly alone when you have others around you and feeling wrong for feeling that way definitely hits in a big way. and thinking about it from her perspective, even though i can't necessarily relate, makes me ache for her and others that were put in a position to feel like you aren't allowed to feel lonely if you have jesus/god in your life without feeling like a failure as a human being is extremely devastating. thank you for being vulnerable and open about such a difficult topic/trauma to discuss. again, a truly beautiful reaction. ❤️

happy im not the only one who reacted like this! everyone seemed so calm about the album and I was like WHAT

This is the first video of yours I've ever seen, but I had to comment and tell you that your compassion is just life changing!! The way you reacted to the character Hayden created in this album from such a place of understanding was beautiful. So much kindness and love. I hear that accent so I know you are southern like me (I'm from West Virginia), and it's like you heard this album as if one of your own friends was telling you about it. You were rooting for her the entire time. I did too. Wanting to escape as a young girl from the bible belt is so relatable. The Preacher's Daughter story could've happened to any of us. That's why it's so moving. Thank you for such a personal reaction. Mine was the same.

Truly one of the BEST reactions to Preacher’s Daughter. I love how quickly you were to connect with the lyrics and messages. Related with so many things you said here and cried along with you. Thanks for this!

Your insight on Thoroughfare is great! Since it confuses other listeners, you see through the facade and sense the danger.

oh, this was such a vulnerable and beautiful reaction….thank you for sharing it. loved hearing your insights and seeing someone get as emotional as me listening to this album, lol. hayden (ethel) was raised southern baptist as well and has talked extensively about how growing up in that environment affected her in many ways. thank you again. hope you’re well. ❤️‍🩹

One of the best reactions I've seen to this album. Thank you for your contribution!

So, I’m late to the party and just discovered this album a few days ago. Since then I’ve listened to it so many times and watched so many reaction videos and THIS was the one I needed to see the most. The way you instinctually knew that bad things were coming. I really appreciated seeing so much raw vulnerability and empathy. Thank you so much for sharing this piece of your heart with us. I seriously just want to give you the biggest hug.

“I really love that guitar. But hate what the song is about.” I felt that SO HARD. This album is truly art. It makes you feel very intensely, even if the feeling is discomfort and disgust and pain at what’s happening.

"I love that fucking guitar man" mood

This album absolutely destroyed me, but it’s my favourite album of all time. There’s so much lore behind it so I thought I would share some of it + some theories song by song ❤️ I’ve written a whole document of annotated lyrics for my friends about the album so this’ll be a long comment hahaha. First just for context, Ethel Cain is a character portrayed by artist Hayden Silas Anhedönia, a 25 year old trans woman who grew up in a Southern Baptist family in Florida and whose father was a deacon. Preacher’s Daughter is set in 1991 and follows the story of Ethel Cain, a 20 year old girl from a small town in Alabama called Shady Grove. She recounts old loves, her troubled relationship with religion, her father (the titular preacher, Reverend Joseph Cain, beloved member of the community even 10 years after his death), and the tragic fate that befalls her when she finally runs away from her small, judgemental town. Ethel’s father died in a fire when she was 10, an important fact for a theory I’ll discuss later. Family Tree (Intro): Basically just setting the scene for the album with references to intergenerational & religious trauma and how Ethel believes she was doomed from the start. The lines “Jesus can always reject his father / But he cannot escape his mother’s blood” show Ethel feels that the abuse her mother faced (and her grandmother before her and so on) is ingrained in her blood and that she was never going to be able to live a life free of abuse herself. American Teenager: Hayden called this song an “anti-war, anti-patriotism fake pop song” and said in an interview, “I wrote this song as an expression of my frustration with all the things the ‘American Teenager’ is supposed to be but never had any real chance of becoming.” A House in Nebraska: Ethel reminisces about her ex-lover, Willoughby Tucker, who left town before the events of the album. She visits the abandoned house they would spend time in, imagining it was their own, somewhere far away from their hometown of Shady Grove, Alabama. The love they shared was sweet and kind and until he left town, he was the one man who had never hurt Ethel. Western Nights: Ethel is dating a new man named Logan Phelps who is less than kind and at times violent, but Ethel is so desperate for affection that she turns a blind eye. It’s important to point out the contradiction of the lines “I haven’t spoken to my daddy in a long, long time / I don’t want him to worry, always wondering if I’m alright” as her father has been dead for 10 years at this point. This is likely a coping mechanism, telling herself she’s avoiding her father to not upset him when really she will never be able to see him again. Family Tree: After the death of her boyfriend Logan in a police shootout following a bank robbery, Ethel finds herself on the run from the cops (this is all info from Ethel’s interviews, not from any songs in the album). During this time, she thinks back on the trauma she faced in childhood and the description of the song mentions a “disturbing family secret.” That always confused me because nothing really stood out to me in this particular song HOWEVER, I think this alludes to the idea that Ethel actually killed her father. Lyrics in this song and a couple of other songs lend credence to this, plus this entire song is about baptism and the washing away of sin. “Christ forgive these bones I’m hiding” at first comes off as a general hiding of secrets or sins, it could also be taken literally that she’s been hiding her involvement in her father’s death. “I’ve killed before and I’ll kill again / Take the noose of wrap it tight around my hand” basically saying that she’s taken the noose that was used to silence, belittle, and abuse her off of the “family tree” and that she’s using it as a weapon (possibly against her father). Finally, from Ptolemaea, “I was there in the dark when you spilled your first blood” and whether you interpret this line as being said by Death or just by Ethel’s subconscious, it’s yet another implication that Ethel has actually killed someone in the past. Hard Times: A tragic song describing the se*ual abuse her father inflicted upon her in her childhood and the conflicted feelings she has towards him as a result. Despite his abuse, Ethel admires the man her father was in their community and wishes that people would love her the way they did him. Thoroughfare: Ethel meets the charming Isaiah who offers her a ride. Together the drive from Texas to California and over the course of their trip, they find themselves attracted to one another, HOWEVER things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. When Hayden was promoting this album, she shared a Missing Person poster of Ethel which stated, “Ethel was last seen Saturday, January 13 at 3:15am being forced into a black, short-bed pickup truck in the old Winn Dixie parking lot on Abrams Street in Arlington, Texas. A witness said a white man kidnapped her.” Isaiah drives a black pickup truck and he met Ethel in Texas. The theory is that the events of this song never actually happened and that it’s Ethel’s idealized version of events, the happy ending she always wanted, and that this idealized story is a way for her to cope with her tragic circumstances. Hayden herself has said that Ethel is an unreliable narrator which furthers this assumption. Gibson Girl: In California, Isaiah begins to pimp Ethel out and regularly feed her drugs and she begins to lose sense of reality. She has once again found herself in the hands of a violent man, yet she still yearns for his affection out of pure desperation. Ptolemaea: Under the influence of Isaiah’s drugs, Ethel begins to hallucinate. The title is inspired by Alighieri’s Divine Comedy (specifically Dante’s Inferno). Ptolemea, named after Ptolemy, is a circle of Hell in which the traitorous reside. The sound of flies in the background foreshadows her demise and in some sections of the song with the vocals isolated, you can actually hear Ethel begging for her life and choking. It doesn’t need much explanation since I think it’s pretty obvious, but Isaiah assaults and murders Ethel. August Underground: Ethel wastes away in the attic of an abandoned shack in Northern California. The title is a reference to the snuff film of the same name. This song represents the act of Death. At the end of the song, we hear something close and feet shuffling away. Isaiah has moved Ethel’s body into the freezer in the basement. Televangelism: Represents Ethel’s ascension to Heaven. Sun Bleached Flies: In Heaven, Ethel makes peace with her death and reflects on her life, family, and the man she never stopped loving, Willoughby. Strangers: Murdered and cannibalized by Isaiah, Ethel says her final goodbye to her mother. Although Ethel’s mother physically abused her, she knows that her mother was also a victim and thus forgives her transgressions. She would still “wait up with [her]”, referencing the previous line in the song when her mother realizes she’s missing. That’s all I got. This album is such an incredible and tragic piece of art and deserves so much more recognition!

your reaction to this was so heart wrenching and resonant. it’s truly amazing how this album can speak to so many different kinds of religious trauma. i first listened to this album with my perspective of a non religious person who was raised in a small, heavily baptist southern community, and was ostracized by my peers and adults for not being raised within the church. this album brought to vivid center my memories of my friend and grandmother telling me that when i died my soul was going to be tortured for eternity, weeping for me as they talked. i was twelve. the whole second half of the album made me think of friends who were in abusive relationships because that was what they saw portrayed in their church. hayden’s story of ethel cain, even though it was written as a perspective of abuse and trauma stemming from the church, managed to reflect the hurt it causes to those outside of it. hayden really made a masterpiece of southern christian trauma here. ethel being consumed in the end feels to me like a direct metaphor for how ‘traditional christian women’ basically get consumed by their husbands or families. i’ll never get over the horror of realizing what happened in strangers, and then realizing after the context that it threw the whole album into. just absolutely stellar, gut punching writing.

Loved the reaction and your vibe. This is the story as far as i know. Ethel is the preacher's daughter of a small town, she is in love with Willoughby Tucker (A House In Nebraska) Until he abandons her, she then meets Logan Phelps who gets killed by the police (Western Nights) then her dad dies (family tree) she talks about him s3xv4lly abusing her when she was a child (Hard Times) then she escapes and meets Isaiah and travel to California (Thoroughfare) then he prostitutes and drugs her (Gibson girl & Ptolemaea) then she runs into the woods and gets killed (August Underground) she then goes to heaven (Televangelism) from there she reflects on her life (Sun Bleached Flies) And well she then gets eaten by Isaiah and says her last goodbye to her mother (Strangers). Hayden (Ethel's real name) is currently working on two more musical projects related to the story, also a movie and a book. I hoped i helped you, sorry if any mistake, english is not my first lenguage🖤

hearing the first note of house in nebraska and going "oh my god😨" is so real!

that you connected so instantly to the story of a trans woman who felt compelled to leave her religious upbringing behind and write a fictional story about what her demise might have been means the world to a girl like me. you’re a true empath 🥺❤️

This was definitely one of your more emotional videos, and that look at around 45:25 felt like you had a real epiphany there.

Im about 20 yrs older than her but i connected with this album so deeply. I grew up in Florida in the southern baptist church. Im actually not surprised..when I go home it’s like a time capsule.

Your observations throughout the whole album were so on point, and I couldn't help but cry too in all the moments you did. This album really struck me at my core, and I felt like a changed person after experiencing it. No other album out there has captured much of the traumas and pain that I have experienced in life like this one has. The cautionary ending of the storyline gives me fucking chills because that very easily could have been me given the trajectory that I was once on as a lost and vulnerable teenager. I suspect that many of Ethel's fans feel similarly. Her music gives us a voice in an incredibly powerful and gripping way, albeit heart wrenching at the same time. The beauty is in the catharsis one experiences while listening to it. That's what makes Ethel Cain an incredible artist to me.

I love how raw and horrid the whole album is. heaven sent, full of lore and pain. my religious trauma was solved entirely. (almost)

Your sincerity and openness to us is what makes your channel so damn awesome. You are awesome.

i love this reaction, its so real. when you react to ptolomea, and describe your read on the events, i can feel it. the righteous anger . its good, to see someone have the gall to get angry at the idea of it

ethel cain is everything to me.

Sunbleached flies and strangers got me... he really did hid her body inside the refrigerator to devour her

You seem like such a beautiful & gentle soul, loved your reaction.

45:52 I was waiting for that connection to click.. Yeah in this track after killing her he has her body in a freezer & later starts eating her.. This album while soo incredibly sad/tragic is AMAZING as a concept album, laying out this very vivid story thru music.

ur so intelligent. also a RADIANT human being your energy is intoxicating, beautiful in all ways

you made incredible connections that i hadn’t seen anybody else make and you interpreted it SO well, great reaction.

The first time I listened to preacher’s daughter I came out of it scared the shit out of me and it took me a long time to come back to it open minded to fully process the project. In my first listening revising it, I was so overwhelmed with the production that I didn’t caught even a little bit of the story, but I listened to it again and again, and I started to really comprehend I searched for more information. Dude, as if the fact that she produced this whole thing wasn’t insane enough, she build up this deeply tragic story, and you got it so easily in your first listen. That connection took me a while and a lot of thinking through, it’s magical how you were so reactive to it. Insane album, insane reaction, definitely the best one I ever watched, keep on doing it 🙏🏻

Sometimes it feels like art is made for a specific person and that feels like the case here- this is YOUR album. Watching you listen, makes it feel like this was made for you.

This is the first video of yours that I've seen. I'm so glad I watched it. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I love this album. It fucked me up mentally for a couple days after I listened to it the first time. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I've watched a lot of reactions to this album and this is by far one of my absolute favourites, I felt like I was listening to it again for the first time with you, thank you also sending so much love your way cause this is a heavy story and to relate to it in anyway is ROUGH

i cried with you every time you cried. this album means so much to me and i’ve watched so many reactions hoping to find one as raw and real as yours. thank you for being so open to the music and open about your feelings.

this is probably one of the realest reaction video ever. cuz this is literally how i was first time listening

This album was one of best "concepts" i have heard. Dark, haunting, and beautiful. It really can open wounds.

I love watching these kinda videos cuz I grew up with eclectic music, was the record store girl growing up and stuff so I just like reliving music for the first time cuz I’ve just been so immersed in so much of it my entire life. Ethel Cain is new music for me though and came at such a hard time here in Fl.. and this reaction was so validating and cathartic in a way for me. Thank you for sharing for posterity!

as many have said, this is my favorite preacher's daughter reaction i've seen. you really get it. absolutely heartbreaking, i think ethel cain is one of the best songwriters of our time, and i'm always so excited to see more people discovering her. great video :)

you’re the only one that i’ve seen that gets it so quickly, and the picking up on the flies is also so well done of u!!! you’re also the only one i’ve seen that actually gets really emotional and i LOVE seeing people on here being so real and vulnerable because girl i cried as much as you did when i listened to this album the first time. much love to u!!!!

I'm half-way through the video and I already feel like I wanna give you a hug. I LOVE they way that you feel and I want to tell you that you are not alone! your reaction was so pure and authenthic thta you made me cry, because the way you shared of your past traumas... made me think of my own. Anyway, english is not my strongest, but I wanna say to you that even if you feel lonely at times, you are not alone. You always have people with you, even if those people are not in your life just yet

Great reaction. THis album hurt so bad at first but I loved it so much. She explained so much of the hurt I felt through out my life

So I haven’t seen anyone mention some key points I want to talk about, so I’ll post them here. American Teenager talks about all the things the “American teen” are supposed to be but never had any real chance of becoming Never trust Ethel’s pov because it’s not really what happened due to her trauma warping how she remembers it all The man she’s talking about in A House In Nebraska isn’t dead, he left the small town behind without her. I’m certain she wasn’t actually hitchhiking, but instead was kidnapped and developed a sort of Stockholm syndrome She was then pimped out for drug money, abused, murdered, then cannibalized. That’s all I can think of for right now

When asked if it just keeps getting worse during “House In Nebraska,” I laughed, nodded, and said into the air “the way out is through.” I think it’s especially great to watch live footage and or see them live because those are rooms full of people who have also experienced what you just went through, and I know for me it makes me feel better and even gives me hope. 🙏🏼☺️ Godspeed.

This was such a beautiful vulnerable video. Thank you so much for sharing these moments with us ❤ as a goofy side note, i cant help but think how much you look like alyssa sutherland from the new evil dead movie. Wishing you the best!!

The album is amazing and I send you a big hug Shadie 🖤

I’m gay but you are stunning and I love how empathetic you are to some of these songs.

Dude,, you’re the ONLY person I’ve found that understood it as fast and as hard as I did the first time I listened. The way you caught on especially at parts that so many people overlook.

One of the best reactions to this album I’ve seen. Thank you for sharing yourself with us and really listening to the music. ❤

the way you were so quickly able to dissect the songs and put the story together was AMAZING! This whole video showcased how empathetic you are and you had me crying along with you 🥹

this was such a beautiful reaction. so glad you let us go on this journey with you, i really enjoyed your commentary ❤❤😭😭

NEVER SEEN A BETTER REACTOION.

This is the best album reaction video I’ve ever seen

this is one of my fav reactions to this album. i loved how much you felt it, all the little details you picked up, and your thoughts on it!! you’re the only person i’ve ever seen react to this that’s had previous knowledge of what Ptolemaea was lol. here’s the lore from what i’ve gathered so far if there’s anything you wanna know :) (i just copied and pasted it from my notes app so sorry if there’s info you already mentioned!) The singer’s real name is Hayden Anhedönia. Ethel Cain is from Shady Grove Alabama and is the daughter of Joseph (the preacher) and Vera. The album takes place in 1991 when Ethel is 20, and her dad died 10 years before the events of the album in a house fire. Family Tree (Intro) sets up the themes of the album and the voice at the beginning is from Hayden’s great-grandmother’s funeral. American Teenager is a fake pop song that’s about her frustration with the ideal American teenager and the American dream that are both impossible to achieve. The guitar at the end is also sampled from Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey. The man she’s singing about in House in Nebraska is named Willoughby Tucker, who was her highschool sweetheart (as she says in the song), but they broke up because of Ethel’s actions/behavior. The house isn’t actually in Nebraska, but an abandoned house that they would imagine was there. Western Nights is about another man named Logan Phelps, who is a criminal and in the lore later dies in a police shootout. Family Tree talks about her familial and religious trauma. Her father was also abusive to her, as shown in Hard Times. She then runs away to Texas in Thoroughfare, she meets Isaiah Abram. While it seems like a happy song, there’s a missing poster Hayden made that says Ethel was last seen being forced into a black truck, so Ethel could be an unreliable narrator. Then in Gibson Girl, they’ve reached California and Isaiah has began pimping her out and giving her drugs. Ptolemaea is her hallucinating. Ptolemaea is a region of the ninth circle of Hell in Dante’s Inferno. Named after Ptolemy who killed his father in law and sons after inviting them over for a banquet, which connects the betrayal of them to the Isaiah betraying Ethel. “I am the face of love’s rage” possibly meaning when people think of abuse, they just see Ethel’s face. August Underground and Televangelism is her dying (from being killed by Isaiah) and her soul going to heaven, respectively. Hayden has said they’re kind of two parts of the same song, with AU being Ethel’s physical death and TV being more of her spiritual death. Televangelism is also improvised! Sun Bleached Flies is her reflecting on her life after she’s died and thinking about how she still finds comfort in the church even though she hasn’t had the best experience with it. And finally, in Strangers, the voice at the beginning is also from Hayden’s great-grandmother’s funeral, and Isaiah has some kind of mental break and eats a piece of her body which then poisons him. Then the slower part at the end is her talking to her mom :) Her next project is an EP of the b-sides of this album that will focus on Ethel’s teenage years and her relationship with Willoughby :). then her next two albums after that will focus on Ethel’s mom, and then her paternal grandmother making it a trilogy. she also plans to write 3 books (of which she’s currently writing the first, called Diary of a Preacher’s Daughter) and make 3 movies

BEST REACTION EVER THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS

LOVEEEE how you captured and interpreted the message. The album is phenomenal and I'm glad to know that someone enjoys it this much (ps. You're really pretty

I’m a Christian but I’ve run into weird fundamentalist that have been hurtful. I’ve also been verbally abused by my stepdad. This album has helped me through the most darkest time of my life.

This was exactly my reaction 😭 Sending you a big virtual hug!

OMG girl I love you 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I wanted to share my view on some of the tracks on the album, but first of all I want to say I love your reaction (not in a weird way😭). I feel like I can relate so much with your reaction, emotion, and thought process overall. It made me reflect on why this album truly does resonate with me, though I'm not southern. I connect not only with (the character's experience/trauma) Ethel, but also you're experiences. Now as for my perspective on Ptolemaea-Televangelism ; From my perspective Ptolemaea is her disassociated mental state and just a collage of things he's said or even possibly something he recites to her, I don't think she was killed here, yet. As for August Underground and Televangelism, I saw someone talk about how they feel as though the songs don't take place one after the other like a majority of the album but at the same time. August Underground is her physical body and her fight and flight for her life on Earth, as Televangelism is her fleeting mind and her soul ascending to heaven.

Love yourself before loving others, don't ever try to be someone else in sake of pleasing others...you will enter in paradox, if someone wanna love you let him or her to love you as who u are(with good and bad, weakness and strong) , accept yourself no matter what , the enemy of darkness is light

this album is a temple. ♥️✨

thanks for this video ✨ i’m going thru a deconstruction/deconversion from christianity rn and your video helped me cope a bit

loved this! one of the best reaction !!

Hayden (the creator of Ethel Cain) said at one point that the third installment in the story - Preacher's Mother will be the darkest and most disturbing one. So that's fun

Ethel Cain's story is Southern Baptist, so that's cool info, and also a really good observation on your part.

omg i remember your walking dead reactions! been obsessed with ethels music and seeing you again react to this album is so cool. its a beautiful album, definitely makes a lot of us feel seen. i love your honest reaction:)

Glad to see you branching out and trying new stuff, Shadie! Great video and absolutely awesome editing, especially at the beginning with the "sabbath" clip. I died laughing at that! Hope you're doing OK and living your best life, see you in the next video ❤😊

Some of the demos in this album are outright different songs. Gibson girl demo is so much darker and doesn't have the sexy sound. Strangers has so many demos, but my favorite was done by Vyva Melinkolya, a clise fruend of Haydens (Hayden is ethel the person). Vyva also did the hard times demo which imo is much better. Iirc Ethel actually agrees and regrets switching it. Story wise, in gibson girl he begins pimping Ethel out and giving her drugs. Ptolemaea is actually not where he killed her. She's severely hallucinating, not just due to a high, but outright drug psychosis. It's debated on if there's a chase in the woods or not, and if this occurs in ptolemaea or August underground. But it's confirmed that Ethel is put in the attic, where she spends her 21st birthday, and eventually dies. Rn its not clear how she dies, many fans theorize the bang at the end of AU is him shooting her, but Hayden said that's him slamming the door closed. She dies, I believe the most likely ones are succumbing to injuries or starvation but in my mind he's always stabbed her and left her to die. Televangilism is her ascension to heaven. SBF is obviously her reflecting on her life and what happened to her. Strangers is a mix of reflecting on and speaking to her mother and Isiah putting Ethel in the freezer and eating only a piece/meal consisting of her. Isiah is part of a cult and had planned to kill her from the start BUT he did not plan on eating her. Both being low on money, and a psychotic break cause him to eat her. He gets food poisoning and then is found by police. In several strangers demos, Ethel says the line "you chewed me up and shit me out, like every bitch you're done with" so she's MUCH more bitter. I prefer the lyric in the finished lyric but i kinda wish she placed it somewhere else. It should also be noted both Ethel and Hayden are trans women. Last note, Logan (abusive western nights guy) was robbing atms and banks and shit and got killed in a shootout. Ethel isnt exploring the states, shes on the run from then law. Which partially explains why she'd hitchhike. She had no choice.

GIRL you are so smart getting all of this the first time!! also thank you for your vulnerability and genuine reactions to everything! this is my first video im seeing from you and it’s great! ❤

Loved your reaction! This is one of my favorite reactions to this album, I appreciate how sincere you were and I love how you were able piece together the story on the 1st listen

my favorite ethel reaction.

THIS GIRL IS SO REAL 4 THIS 😭

Yo I remember watching your reactions to the punisher series awhile back and the idea of you doing album reactions is dope. Also, I adore Ethel.

this was so vulnerable and thank you for the amazing reaction !

her voice let you cry on each word she says

"Look to those below us and not those above us lest we be unappreciative of what he have"