I bet he would’ve appreciated himself taking his health seriously and asking and/or taking precaution. But he didn’t. It was his responsibility. We are taught to use protection and ensure that are with partners that are taking care of themselves as well. But hook up culture doesn’t go well with that, now does it? People want to sleep with whoever without asking questions.
If you have something that may affect your partner negatively (and potentially degrade their quality of life) you have a responsibility to disclose that.
@@adunce.5422 not really, you as the person that have it should be morally inclined to tell, why should the person have to ask before you tell what YOU have.
I agree with both Aba & Preach and the other guy on this one. What the other guy is trying to get people to understand is that HIV is everyone's responsibility, not just the person who has it. When you realize that most people who spread HIV don't know they have it, you understand that you can't put the responsibility solely on the people who have it when they don't even know. They're isn't droves of people who know they have HIV just spreading it knowingly. That's not real, maybe a few evil bast*rds here and there. The way you can take responsibility yourself is just assume everyone you come in contact with has an STI and act accordingly. So if you assume everyone has something you're just protecting yourself. You are always responsible for protecting yourself. Where I do agree with Aba & Preach, someone who KNOWS that they have it is responsible to tell their partner before sexual contact. That's where the other guy loses me. Still, we do have to realize these 2 things are separate. I think the other guy fails to separate those because he's just tired of having the conversation and wants to put the responsibility on everyone else. That's a bad thing to do.
If you got HIV, disclose it. Period. Don’t care that you’re tired about it. That’s your disease. That’s your responsibility. Not disclosing a sexually transmitted disease to someone who you want to get sexually involved with is manipulative.
It should remain criminal. If I spit on someone and can be charged with assault then this guy should be charged with attempted manslaughter and that fuck should go to prison!
He is willing to remove someone's consent by omitting his illness , something that could completely change the other person's life, because he is tired of talking about it..
That's a shitty thing to do The "i'm tired of talking about it" is bullshit excuse If you're that tired talking about than just stop having sex and watch porn instead of putting people at risk
I am thinking about dropping out of school to focus on my career as a star on RU-vid. I already make a lot of money on RU-vid. School bores me so much. I need more opinions and since I don't have any friends, I gotta ask you, no
@@HeyMomonia That's the #1 excuse for a lot of arguments these days "I'm tired just google it" I'm like "Bitch I'm talking to you for reason. I want to know about you not that the bias ass google search is gonna give"
@@ExeErdna you can and should Google it first. It’s not other people’s responsibility to educate you. Now if you can’t find or have questions afterwards then I think you should ask questions. But if you put in no work first then you don’t really want to know.
Also, the “I’m tired” line is really just an excuse to punish others for your past interactions. Work on your own trauma, it isn’t other people’s job to heal you. That’s your responsibility.
Sex isn't the only way to catch HIV by the way. So it isn't necessarily always the victims fault. However, agree that it is their responsibility to disclose that information to any sex partners
@@dereksmith5378 I totally agree with everything you said. To many people make themselves out to be victims. They lack accountability for their actions
When he said that I was lowkey shook. People with disabilities have to disclose their disabilities from the jump because it’s obvious- they probably get tired of explaining it but yet they have to.
Bruh this is literally the same problem as trans people not telling their dates that they are... nobody wants to stigmatize you, but you have an obligation to be honest towards the people you want to date, because they have the right to refuse to date you. If you do not, then of course inevitably people are going to hate you, because you are willingly lying to them just to get with them. The problem is not your conditions, the problem is that you're a liar.
I agree however I do understand the fear as it can be dangerous for some people as the other person may react violently (especially in terms of a trans person). Its wrong not to tell but at the same time you can have sympathy as to why they are reluctant. If I were ever to plan to have sex with someone I would ask if they had been tested so both parties have a responsibility in terms of disclosure as well as being actively responsible.
@@uughhgh7866 the fear factor doesn’t register with me. If they are so scared then why still go to the point of sex for the partner to find out? That’s not fear that’s selfishness. Plenty fear the reaction and tell up front.
@@uughhgh7866 They only have to "fear" if they started off lying and then something happens. If you're honest, nothing will happen past that point if the other person isn't interested.
Life sucks. Don’t make it harder by not disclosing it to others. IT IS the responsibility of the person who has it to present it forward. Love to all. Be smart. Take care.
It is the responsibility to all to let one know of you health conditions. It ain't just people who are positive. Those who are negative need to be proactive. That's the point of this video.
@@youngboy2140 Nah, the point of the video they were responding to was that he's tired of having to have the discussion and it shouldn't be his responsibility. If things get hot and heavy, and you know you have HIV, and say nothing, I'm sorry... But that should quite frankly be a crime. You are knowingly subjecting someone to potentially grievous harm. I'm afraid there is no way to shift this responsibility. Just no.
Beautifully simple and simply beautiful.!! All ought to be treated with dignity and respect...yes. None ought to be "outed" by another, no, but when it comes to such STDs or sti's which *can be life threatening if not treated, it is critical that you inform your potential partner prior to any sexual contact.
I’m just wondering how people who don’t have HIV are supposed to have conversations, have the right language, help kill the stigma, or learn anything if all the people who DO have HIV are “tired of talking about it”
In this day and time, it’s ok to ask if someone has been tested. If the person has not been tested, ask them that you both get tested before you engage in sexual activities because it takes one time to get it. Also always have compassion towards other people who have it knowing nobody asked to get it.
@@fantantantan1560 sounds great on paper, unfortunately most people with HIV are idiots like this guy and will get offended at your asking as if they wanted to contract it from wherever they got it.
Also, how many people did he fuck for it to become tiring. Or did he tell one person and already be tired of it. I am handicapped, I really want the other to know before we do anything (even just dinner) and I would have to date more than I can afford for it to become tiring.
Exactly!!! This dude talks all about the stigma and all that stuff, bravo bravo..... still ask him if it's his responsibility to tell whomever he has sexual relations with and he still gonna pass the blame on others... he merely floated around the stigma to once again..... pass blame (on the stigma)
@@blueshinobi1085 exactly. You can't just say "you guys and everyone called me out on this, but you have to understand STIGMA" I don't give a fuck if you get so tired you fall asleep, TELL PEOPLE YOU FUCK WITH THAT YOU HAVE IT. You can't blame people who don't know they have it and spread it, and not blame yourself who IS aware and doesn't want to. His whole point is invalid when he's being this toxic. Let's say stigma disappears is he suddenly gonna flip a switch and do his part again? Literally unacceptable.
I'm 31 and married.... and I would hate to become single again and start dating again. Older I got, my distrust for people grew and grew. Not to mention all these hookup sites and apps have made dating a lot more scary than ever before.
@@TomikaKelly That’s flawed logic. Let’s say I sleep with a woman who has HIV and she never tells me. How will I ever find out I have HIV before it’s too late? If you are a carrier of HIV, it is your responsibility to disclose that to sexual partners. You are indirectly sentencing people to death.
@@TomikaKelly and theyre not going to know if the person they slept with wont tell em they have it. jus read it again cus he said that. its basically a lil circle
@@roastgod5973 you're the one with flawed logic. People like him aren't transmittable. Secondly, you think these people who are spreading it got it from someone who knew? Yea. You're the flawed one.
This dude is just projecting a ton of his insecurity. Sorry dude. You, along with anybody else who has any sexually communicable disease should absolutely be informing a potential sexual partner. The end. Yeah, it sucks. That's how it is. If you don't, then YOU HAVEN'T OBTAINED CONSENT.
I agree with the projecting insecurities because in my personal dissection of what he’s saying I think what he’s really tired of is being turned down and maybe even frowned upon.. which is a totally different conversation
Eh, I don't know about the consent part. I totally agree with you, I just don't know if it is technically considered rape? Wrong af definitely and should be illegal when talking about deadly things like HIV but I feel it is a separate category.
@@BigfootUnibrowMan I mean in some states it actually does count as a crime and is illegal,whether you used protection or not. Idk of it rape but in the same, if you are willingly putting someone’s life at risk of a life threatening disease, that is truly not fair.
@All Star That's admirable. I wish I had the strength to do that. I've definitely reeled in my appetite BUT I don't know if I could go completely celibate. More power to you though
With modern medicine and transmission not really being an issue anymore I’d say the door is definitely open for a discussion as always an humorous yet informative reflection from you guys. Have a good week 🤙🏼👍🏼
Sex without informed consent is rape. If you know you have HIV or another sexually transmitted disease, and don't disclose, you're committing rape. This is not complicated.
Stigma or not, “tired” or not, it’s a person’s choice to have sex with you and they need all the information pertaining to you sexually before making that decision especially if it will ultimately affect their life DRAMATICALLY. You are influencing their choice by not giving them all the facts. It’s why 37 states have laws criminalizing exposure.
It doesn't feel like he's trying to help the hiv community by spreading more awareness but rather like he is trying to normalize having hiv so having hiv isn't seen as a "nasty thing" However hiv isn't something that should be normalized but something that everyone is educated upon that way someone who isn't living with hiv doesn't begin living with it. It's not about being tired of having an sti or having a std its about protecting others from harm
Exactly man i completely agree with you Not everything should be normalised because a lot of things can be dangerous It doesn't mean that we should stigmatise them or anything Just that they have a responsability to tell their sexual partners about their hiv If you know how hard it is to live with it you should do everything in your power so that no one else catches it
From some of the comments on his videos, he isn't the only one trying to normalize it or shift responsibility. I knew people weren't shit, but this is a whole new level of human garbage.
@@SpiritStoneWarrior94-yx3gs yep this too. A lot of the people trying to defend fail to realize that going back and forth about morality doesn't change the legality 🤦🏿♀️
People say that you shouldn’t ask your partner what their body count was. I think that is very important since it tells you what type of person they are. If they’re 20 and have over one hundred they might have a sex addiction, and I think it’s important to know their body count. The people who don’t think others should know are the same people who have an outrageous body count.
@@YoungBasedChefBeezy I wouldn’t say “get over it” because I can’t even begin to imagine how soul crushing it is to consistently be shot down because of a disease you can’t control even when you’re Vibin with someone, however, I’d definitely say you just have to deal with it. Getting over something implies it shouldn’t bother you, but that situation will forever be bothersome. However, now that he has it, it’s about being a responsible adult and doing right thing despite the possible repercussions to yourself (not getting laid as often as you’d like)
@@uncleiroh4650 I bet if he had a choice tho he would have wanted to be told so he's not " tired " homeboy is trash. Like that's how people get killed. I say the same thing about being trans please for trans women some men will kill you if they think you've threatened their manhood. This is the same thing concerning people's health.
The only thing that gets rid of stigma is education. Not demanding others think a certain way. People must have choice and this requires knowledge. Talk about it, not hide it
@@massojupiter3436 when people are educated they know how easily it's transmitted and exactly how it's transmitted. A lot of people think touching someone or sharing a cup can transmit it. Education gets rid of the ignorance and the fear of it. Making it have less stigma.
@@massojupiter3436 and more people will be willing to date someone with it if they understand about viral loads etc etc. It's always ignorance that causes fear. But not everyone wants to deal with it. There is no way you will get everyone to want to deal with it in a relationship. That's where personal freedom comes in. Education will help immensely but at the end of the day it's a very serious disease.
@@Josh-rn1em but thats the thing that scares people. It can be transmitted if you touch someone or share a cup. The thing is that you don't know if that person has had a cut in their mouth or hand and then you forget to wash your hands and go grab a snack or share the cup with them, or you also have a cut that you weren't aware of. It very well can be transmitted by those examples you used. I don't know if the person whose hand I just shook made sure to wash it after going to the bathroom, let alone if someone has a small cut on their hand or a rash that they scratch a few minutes before.
I use to watch his celebrity gossip and got over him REAL QUICK once I realized his personality was soo negative, the “not my responsibility to disclose my HIV status” Further solidified my not wanting to watch him anymore. This isn’t about “stigma” that’s a damn crime
"Is it your responsibility to disclose your HIV status?" *This shouldn't even be up for discussion.* The answer is a resounding YES. If you have suspicions that you may have STIs, make an effort to get tested, or stay on the safe side and do not engage in any activities that can spread illnesses period. The onus is always on you if you might bring something to the table that is unusual, abnormal, game-changing, etc. That being said, it goes without saying that everyone should remain vigilant and ask relevant questions when appropriate.
He dodges a lot, IMHO. Yes, destigmatizing HIV is good. Yes, more people transmit it unknowingly. But neither of those diminishes his responsibility in disclosing it.
@@dereksmith5378 Not a lot of people think like this but I agree. Also the same thing with face tattoos, why would I hire you when you destroyed your face?
He's Discussing 2 different issues, disclosure has nothing to do with testing, and one cannot disclose what he/she does not know. The point is: if you know that you are positive it is your responsibility to inform someone you wish to get involved with.
No it is the responsibility of the other person to ask. When you consent to sex, you also consent to anything that occurs after the fact...Ppl aren’t dumb, they know what can happen and what the risks are...
@@Cocochantelle I get what you're saying but isn't consent mutual? wouldn't it be unethical to consent to any form of sexual activity without disclosing the risks associated with you? What I'm saying is that responsibility is shared. Think about it... It can't "only" be left on the other person to ask.
Disclosure has nothing to do with asking, you can ask and they can say no or send you on some guilt trip about not trusting them. If you cheat on your partner just once, if they never ask you if you ever cheated, is it then their fault that you didn't disclose your transgression? What's the responsibility of both parties may be protection using protection is the only thing that I would say is fully in both parties hands.
@@Cocochantelle How can you think like that? That is terrible, I hope you're not someone who goes around spreading it because people don't ask. If you have it or any other STI it is YOUR responsibility to tell people. Yes everyone should be asking about STIs that their potential partner might have so that they can protect themselves, BUT that doesn't give a person an excuse to omit details because someone didn't ask. TELL PEOPLE.
He’s throwing insults and saying people are saying it’s disgusting when no one said that. He is a trash person for what he said. He is trying to be absolved of the responsibility for doing what he still is supposed to be doing which is making sexual partners aware of his status even when they aren’t it’s a harsh reality and that makes him trash. I showed my hiv negative results to sexual partners and that still made them uncomfortable. No one one person is responsible for the miseducation and fear of a whole community. I get him being in this position in life isn’t the easiest but no sir he’s still wrong. I understand he’s upset but don’t use miseducation and stigmas to absolve yourself of the fact you were dead wrong. Still didn’t have anything to say in this year and a half late response.
Iirc he's also in Atlanta which is one of the major of the epicenters for HIV. It's just extra disappointing for him to have this stance. Wouldn't he have wanted the person who infected him to have disclosed it to him?
@English Ant I guess what I really want to know is if his current self who is aware of his condition were to sleep with his past self, would he still not tell himself. Who would be most at fault in his eyes. Like are you okay doing this to yourself, basically.
@Dante Kelly So you're saying that's a justification to not tell someone you're positive which could potentially result in acts that result in them being infected? Wouldn't that be how they got in the first place and now intentionally damn another to same fate,consciously, making them the prime villain of exactly what they're trying to warn and preach against?
That man seems to be hurt by his own experiences. He is trying to justify his response to rejection. We don’t get to put other people at risk to avoid being rejected.
You don't need to disclose to people sharing a living space unless you're having sex with them. You're not going to get HIV from sharing a bathroom (glasses, utensils) with an HIV+ person.
@@patriciae3082 If someone shares living space with you, there is a good chance that at some point you will bleed in their presence or have them come in direct contact with your bodily fluids. I have suffered from skin eczema all my life. There are usually a few small open skin lesions on my body at any given point--which means I am liable to expose my family members to my blood and also to receive secondary infections through those lesions. Exercising caution is not prejudice. It's prudence.
@@sanghoonlee5171 Not sure if you are aware but once someone is HIV positive, the person takes medications to not cause the virus to spread in the body. However, those medications are very expensive or usually not covered to some people so I get your concern.
Yes your putting someone else’s lives in your hand you hold the power to make or break a life, so yes it is your responsibility and not the other party’s responsibility to disclose having HIV or AIDS. I also don’t think we should stigmatise or demonise people who do have these STD’s but we should demonise and stigmatise people, who indulge in intercourses without disclosing that information.
And by not disclosing that information in some countries and you pass it to someone else you can be charged with manslaughter or murder. I get not wanting to talk about it all the time but you are most certainly responsible for disclosing the info to any sexual partner you have.
If you make sure your virus load is low, you are protecting your partner better than someone who never got tested. So you are in fact protecting your partner more by being positive and getting treated than by not getting tested.
I get tested every time i have a new partner (condom or not) and it's not because I don't trust the other person. It's a matter of self respect, self care and self awareness.
"tired of having to come into every conversation" ? Are you trying to sleep with every person you talk to? You only have to tell the people you're sleeping with, not everyone. "people are walking around with it not knowing it" yeah because you didnt tell them you had it!! Like just find someone else to sleep with. No one is spitting on you for having hiv people just dont want to die
@Dante Kelly so if he has only slept with 1 person why is he tired of explaining to people his HIV diagnosis... he would have only had to explain it once. He spoke as if he’s had to explain it 100 times, implying he’s slept with 100 people. What’s so tiring about explaining a HIV diagnosis 1 time
Actually you legally have to disclose to someone you are seeing that you have a sexually transmitted disease if you intentionally knowingly pass it along without telling your partner you are liable both financially and criminally!
@@dardestroy4502 yeah I feel that I just got out of a relationship unrelated to this situation but I do understand honesty save you time but some people are afraid of shadows so the truth is often complicated
@@majorragersp2314 No need to be afraid of shadow, when your as black as me! I wake up, brush my teeth, and see an aesthetic piece charcoal every morning. Relationships were never my strong suit because I don't stress over understanding other people's emotion.
It can't be unstigmatized until its common practice amongst our society to disclose our status to our partners. It goes nowhere if it's never talked about by anyone. You have to start somewhere.
That dude bugging out, he knowingly has a disease but doesn’t disclose it to people because “He’s tired of telling people” You can’t be willfully ignorant with a life-threatening disease, being tired ain’t going to hold up in court. I can understand the stigma around the whole thing, but keeping info from people is only going to make it worse.
It’s simple, if you have an STI tell your partner before you have sex. If you do not tell them, they should press charges because you are basically intentionally infecting them with an STI.
Yes, in the UK, there have been cases (2 come to mind) where men had intentionally infected women with HIV and they were arrested and found guilty of Reckless HIV Transmission
@@_Sarby1 there's a teenager who secretly spread HIV around her high school. She was really hoe-ing around after she discovered she got it and then made a Facebook post tagging everyone she intentionally infected. This was around 2011 when I jumped off Facebook.
Getting tested shouldn’t be viewed in negative way. I’m a person who gets tested regularly, and I even had a doctor question why i wanted to be tested. During a routine physical, i requested to be tested for STD/STI’s and my doctor questioned why i wanted it. Like because i want just want to know. It shouldn’t even matter. Make it normal to go and get tested
Yes, unfortunately even health care providers aren't immune to the "you don't seem the type to need to worry about this" syndrome. I've been married for 10 years and still test at my annual well-woman exam because that's the smart thing to do. I don't think my husband is unfaithful and I've never suggested it. However, after volunteering in HIV clinics across the world for more than 15 years, I am well aware that people make (and justify) all sorts of interesting choices.
To be frank aba and preach, all these "good points" he highlights, doesn't change the fact that he still putting others at risks by not telling em..... not knowing you have it and passing it, is faaaaaaar different than knowing you got that shit and still consciously choosing not tell the partner are two completely different stands.
So what happen after the marriage Ppl think monogamous relationship is in marriage, ppl cheat so that conversation needs to happen, best to be mentally prepared, we r not perfect, and this discussion will b necessary
Bruh I'll tell my friends if i have a strong cold so they can tell me not to come over if they have important stuff coming up. And then there is this guy
Seriously. One of kids would be sick and I tell people before they come over even if it’s a minor cold just as an FYI. This guy... he doesn’t feel responsible I guess.
I look at it like this! Yes it is your responsibility to disclose if you have an STD. I understand that some STD'S do not end up being diagnosed due to the fact that the person do not exhibit any symptoms so it makes it difficult to diagnose, but if you know you is out here being promiscuous and irresponsible and participating in things that you have no business doing then it should not surprise you if you come down with something in the long run. I do not know why people try to down play a person's responsibility to disclose if they have an STD that is serious business and you can give somebody something that can harm them forever. The point of the matter is that if you have kids you need to let people know, if you have an std you have to disclose it to your partner because you have to give them the option of being able to freely choose what they want to deal with if you don't tell nobody then your robbing them of their freedom. I know a young lady who is a friend of my family she has been best friends with my sister for years one of the sweetest women you ever want to meet she got married and her first time ever having intimacy she contracted HIV from her husband who knew he had that mess. Innocent people pass away from people being deceptive like that. I live in Indiana where this is a serious issue. We had a woman who knew that she had HIV and she went on a revenge thing where she was giving men HIV and it caught up to her because one of her victims winded up taking her life and setting the house on fire. People are not playing about this!!
I ain’t buying it . Male to female transmission is low especially this caveat of it being a one time . Highly more likely that she used syringes 💉. She gave you a socially accepted story
Imagine being this person and living in a world where we warn each other if we have a cold or flu coming on, but thinking he doesn’t have to disclose his HIV status with a sexual partner.
1 of my best friends got this shit from her EX who knew he had it but didnt tell her. They have a responsibility to tell people if they have a life changing transmittable illness. To say otherwise is irresponsible at best.
@@huighwong2069 how does that make sense? Even if they got married, he still knowingly infected her with a disease she can’t get rid of? She’d probably divorce him because he kept it a secret but now SHE has to let everyone know that she’s infected because of some moron.
@@_Sarby1 this happened years ago now. The statue of limitations on charging him is long past unfortunately. The state we live in also repealed the statue making it a crime to knowingly transmit STDs.
In a number of states, if you know you have HIV and don’t disclose that to the person you have sex with, and they catch it... you can catch a charge. That definitely implies that in the eyes of the law, it is your obligation regardless of how you feel
Great discussion but that “I’m tired of it” way of thinking is so… irritating. Like yea I’m tired of goin to school I’m tired of goin to work I’m tired of this that and the third but that doesn’t mean that you should neglect that responsibility. Just felt that needed to be said.
"I'm tired of talking about it" *makes multiple videos talking about it. Responsibility is a bitch, but we all have to deal with it. This isn't a "are you a bad person for not returning you cart" conversation. This is a "could be handed a death sentence for a fun time" conversation. 100% agree that the stigma should be taken away
This dude is filled with so many logical fallacies it makes no sense. His critical thinking skills are about a 3/10... I understand some of his points, but most of them are nonsensical.
I think there is a quote from Eric July that he says alot"you can never change someone's opinion with logic that they got to with solely on emotion" or something like that.
He's not using logic he's using emotion. He needs to take the emotion out of it and only deal on facts. There's a reason why in most states knowingly exposing someone to hiv/aids without telling them is a crime. This is why ppl shouldn't fuck without getting tested, ppl like him dealing in their emotion.
@@babyshaq6455 Anyone who has ever argued anything uses emotion to an extent. You can be emotional and still sound logical, but I understand what you are saying. I'm 29 and thankful I was smart enough when younger to not get an STD, only slept with 3 girls, 2 of them were really close friends/girlfriend and the other is my wife of 7 years.
@@tonykim5069 Perhaps it’s stigmatized cause it’s not so transparent? Doesn’t make a difference wether or not it’s stigmatized. If someone really wants to omit important information like HIV cause of stigma then that someone is a solid POS. There is no excuse. This coming from grown adults is really concerning.
@@TheFablekid You're right they shouldn't omit that information, but to call them a POS for wanting to omit is a bit harsh. Put yourself in their shoes. They face potential relationship fallout, social ostracization, reputation damage, criminal prosecution and you can't empathize with how terrifying that might be?
Well damn...I let my boyfriend know when I have a cold/flu because I don’t want to get him sick. So people are really out here not disclosing their positive HIV status? It’s one thing if your are unaware, but another if you are.
I wonder how he contracted HIV. Did his partner not disclose it to him or was it something else? You not telling your partner about something like this only helps to make you feel better about yourself. Other than that nothing good can come from omitting the fact that you have an STD. There may be an overblown stigma surrounding HIV, but people need to understand that just because it's overblown does not mean it's completely unwarranted. No amount of data and statistics will change the fact that HIV is a life-altering disease that people would rather not have to deal with. It should be a crime to not disclose stuff like this.
I get the stress of having to deal with “HIV Positive” being a part of your identity. However, because it is a part of your identity and you understand how it changes your life, you have a moral responsibility to prevent harm to any of your romantic partners by disclosing so they can make informed decisions.
Bruh big tripN.... if you have it and plan on being in a relationship with someone that involves sex, you have a responsibility to let your status be known. The first thing my wife and I did within the first month of dating because we discussed long-term relationship goals and marriage was to get tested for std's and share the results with each other.
@@shamarab4632 Right?!?! In fact, he is perpetuating the stigma he's talking about. Why would I trust be with someone else with HIV when the last one said its not his responsibility to let me know? That can have a very negative effect and creates the stigma he says he wants to destroy.
Yep!! I don’t know why more people aren’t taking this from the video. It’s quite obvious ppl don’t get tested as much as they should and are irresponsible with condoms. Gotta look out for yourself. Get tested regularly
This is ludicrous. If I had HIV (God forbid) and I had a partner I would absolutely let them know immediately about my status. Honestly I wouldn’t even be with someone who is negative because I wouldn’t want to change their lives for the worse potentially. I would most likely be celibate and live out the rest of my life enjoying everything I love like traveling ect. I watched a documentary where a doctor matched people based on their HIV status. We need more programs like this.
Listening is an unacknowledged skill, he hears something, associates it with prior thoughts and misinterprets the meaning. Like a bias, to listen without bias is a skill. Taking things as they are is difficult because one thing may seem different to everyone. It's not surprising people get complacent and narrow-minded as they get older.
We need to combat the ignorant stereotypes types and myth about how it is transmitted. He shouldn't have to walk into a crowd room and scream it but if you plan to be with someone you should trust your love more than your fear.
He seems like a guy who doesn’t wanna take responsibility for his actions “I get tried” well that’s not our fault that’s your life now till u become clean
@@tobib7143 I did not know that, if true then it would geared more towards a couple one of which do have AIDS. Just out of curiosity do you know the effectiveness of this treatment? There is still no cure only treatment. I think most people would be the same in thinking they would not want to sleep with someone who has the virus.
There have been court cases about these things. Yes, sleeping around and spreading certain diseases, like HIV. Without disclosure! Can be seen in legal terms as doing something you can be punished for!
@Firehawk Something as life changing as HIV surely shouldnt be on a state by state basis? The Stigma is awful and finding out you have must be absolutely devastating, why someone would pass that pain around by not disclosing and/or not being safe is inhumane to me
Honestly how many people you sleeping with where you get tired of telling every potential partner about this? Lol The only reason to not want to disclose is due to the need to avoid rejection.
You should be criminally incarcerated if you knowingly transmit a sexually transmitted infection (let alone HIV!!!!!!!!) to anyone. Fear of stigma is not above fear of consequence. I can't even imagine what it must be like to live with such a thing, but it doesn't give you the right to make others share your pain.
@@somebod8703 Who told you that?? just because someone is receiving treatment it doesn't mean they cant transmit it at all. It depends on their viral load and the lower that number is the less chance they have of transmitting it. So far there is no cure so there is no one that once they have it definitely wont transmit it. Your the one talking about stigma, try educating yourself on the topic first before making ignorant, uneducated statements that someone could take seriously
@@somebod8703 It is STILL their choice to know since it doesn't matter they don't want to be that #1 chance. That's why the stigma lingers because you're putting one's agency above another when it is a partnership thing.
I can understand not telling every person you're romantic with about your status, if you are not going to be sexually active with all of them. But once sex seems very much possible with _that individual_ you definitely should disclose. It makes sense not to open up to everyone about everything to do with you, big or small. I don't expect rape victims who know they will have panic attacks during sex to tell some person they just started dating when they won't even be having sex with that person. When it starts getting serious, you definitely should because it's going to hurt more when you become even more invested. But a lot of us hold back on information that is necessary to romantic partners, understandably because we know that not ever partner will be anywhere near long term and we don't want everyone having a "piece" of who we are.
What I have seen as heterosexual folks is that we are socialize to just "get to know someone' before sleeping with them. You know how you can avoid sleeping with someone with any sexually transmitted disease is requiring that before you have sex you make sure your both tested, if you're not doing that then your irresponsible and shouldn't be having sex. You should not risk your life banking on someone's else's morality or truthfulness.
do you disclose to someone that you have corona before you visit their household? Do you understand how that person might feel if you did not disclose you have the corona virus while being in his house? There you go, problem solved
And HIV is way more deadly without medication then covid. New virus asymptomatic rate 70 to 80% of cases. Asymptomatic no symptoms and didnt harm the individual, no medicine required to recover and live normally. With an overall death rate of .003%. HIV, guaranteed symptoms and death without medication. You did the math. :-)
I remember I caught STD Once in highschool and it was such a burden to have. I’m all clean now since I get tested often and the doctor prescribed medicine so I’m clean now but I had to tell the people I slept to make sure they tested too, it was embarrassing but thankfully they all checked to make sure so that put eased in my mind because what I had was treatable. Anyway I understand that it’s embarrassing and really such a heavy burden but I would feel the guilt more than them hating me if i never said anything
I have a lot of family members in the medical field one of which is the sort that works at urgent care centers. She often laments about how people always wait way too long to get what is obviously an STD treated. The problem with that is the longer you wait, the more you are at risk for permanent damage. Sometimes it gets to the point where they can cure the infection but the erectile dysfunction is permanent.
I had someone NOT tell me they had an STD until we were engaged in activity. I was lucky not to get anything. People need to disclose what they have. You're responsible for yourself.
this is why I'm overly cautious with who I'm gonna sleep with, shit like this happens and I'm the one that gotta suffer FOREVER, while they will probably forget about me.
As people, we deserve the OPTION to deal with whatever other people bring to a relationship. Options can lead to positive results much faster than percieved deceit.
I took a great takeaway that could save everyone: responsibility should ALSO be on whoever cares to seek out information just as much as it is for the person with an STD/STI to disclose the information. In other words, we should all work to have discussion before sex to ensure everyone’s comfortability (including our own). This would improve sexual health and wellness is the future. He’s right that the burden shouldn’t be just on carriers. If we know what we don’t like, ask. This goes for testing. If you care that people have been tested within 6 months, you should ask.
I do believe it’s extremely SELFISH, that he doesn’t want to disclose he is HIV positive. That is most likely the mindset shared by the person that gave it to him! And I’m sorry Aba and preach, the shade he sent for you had me on stitches 😂😂. Keep growing guys, peace and love 🖤💛
Hes projecting his own negative stereotypes of HIV positive people on to everyone! Most people are just scared to catch it and for good reason too! Hes " tired" of being rejected but he's willing to risk making someone else as miserable as him.
Informing ur partner(or whoever you’re trying to sleep with) that you have a potentially life altering virus that can be sexually transmitted or not notifying them and endangering their safety & health🤔??? First option sounds pretty logical & considerate to me.
I feel for people that have hiv, but I couldn't be with someone that has it. I'm so fearful of catching anything at all and when the doctor tried to say I had something, before the test came back, I cried for hours. I normally never cry. It was negative thankfully. I don't like judging people but this is different and I'd politely decline.
The thing is, it’s not different. You are just innately scared or repulsed. Whether you want to work on that is on you. But no one became a better person by staying in their comfort zone and fostering further stigma.
100% agree. the week between getting tested and waiting for the result for my HIV test was one of the most terrifying in my life. Don't need that stress again if I can help it.
I'm not repulsed by people that have it. It's just my preference, what if they stop taking their medication. Either if they can't get it or they just refuse to take it, some people do that. And that's with things people do a lot; birth control, meds for extreme mental disorders, and many other things. Preference is not stigmatizing. I can have a conversation with someone about it, which I've had, and I am very understanding. That's as far as it goes.
@@josuemc93 people just dont want to get ill its just same as not kissing someone when they have flu its just why would i put myself in risk for no reason at all? Like that is just stupid to put yourself at risk of anykind without a reason to back it up.I can just have sex with someone else dude why would i risk myself.Unless that person is a god or smt aint gonna risk it.Not because i hate them i just really would like to live and live as a healthy man...
*Let me ask a question:* If you're getting in my car and I've had half a liter of vodka, am I responsible for telling you? I mean there's a lot of stigma attached to being an alcoholic and I just think we should focus on blah blah blah...
