Responsible parenting: Create memories, not expectations | Austeja Landsbergiene | TEDxRiga 

I so wish I had the chance to reparent my now 18 year old daughter. The things I know now I didn’t know then, so I was doing the best I could but I can’t help but wish I could do it over again. So if you’re reading this learn from my mistakes, make childhood fun, don’t worry about the messes that are made or make chores more important than playing with your child. Childhood is so fleeting that when you’re child asks you do read to them, watch tv with them, play a game, whatever, drop EVERYTHING and do it. Let them know there is nothing more important to you then spending time with them. Don’t say no so much and don’t ever say please stop talking because Mom has a headache because one day you will want them to talk and they will be silent.

I read somewhere a piece of advice for parents in regards to question: "which after-school activity I should send my young child to?" And the expert said: " twice a week 1 hr baking with mum, twice a week 1hr diy with dad". That is all they need as young children. To spend time with their parents. That was a great eye-opener for me. This talk is similar to that bit of advice. Another successful woman, a very successful woman at that said that she is what she is because of her dad: when she was still in school, every day at dinner time he would ask her, what she failed at today and they would laugh about it. He taught her that failure is not really a failure, it is just an experience, a try. It is ok to try and fail. A failure would be not to try at all because of fear. Anyway, Thanks to 1000 failures we have a light bulb today... NO SHAME, NO BELITTLING, JUST LOVE AND KINDNESS. Great talk.

I love this! "If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money." -Abigail Vanburen

She just reinforced my type of parenting.....small children are so happy to give a helping hand...no matter how they wash the dishes or fold the clothes, praise them, it can all be done over after they go to sleep or off to school. In my opinion it is one of the biggest problems most mothers have is to try and make them do their chores the way we would do it or want it done.

This touched me. It gave me chills down my spine and across my arms. I’m raising a 18 month old, and thank god I found conscious parenting

This brought so SO much awareness. Wonderfully said. I wish we could make a commercial about this to spread it. "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family".

"Kindness makes children feel LOVED" ......... awwww💗

I think what she says has merit. I've seen how children thrive in this type of situation she describes. My brother and sister-in-law are both very kind, calm, and loving towards everyone. They have 3 sweet children who are not entitled or lazy, but are willing to be obedient and be kind to others as well. I've even seen their 2 year old girl be very mature and responsible. It's incredible how a little kindness goes a long way.

About my child sometimes I became very much strict.. But lately I realised that kindness is more important than being a perfectionist parent

this brought me to tears at the end. I'm always making excuses as to my plans to change to be a better mom once I have more money or have a better career or when I buy a house of our own or blah blah blah and it's always tomorow tomorow and tomorow. i have to live for today and I see that but sometimes regret kills me so much that it disables me. I don't abuse my children or neglect them but I am often cold and annoyed and inpatient and loud and I dont say I love u enough and I know it stems from my own child hood which upsets me cuz I have turned into my mother. I wish gor this generation cycle to stop and I want me kids to know I love them but I don't know how to break the patterns I have only known. life is too short and I need to get my life straight and enjoy every single second of life with them and making them happy

One of the best TED talks for just real life and real people (parents)

¤ Bite your tongue when you want to reprimand. ¤ create loving memories to last for a lifetime. Think 20 years from today, what do you want your children to remember today.

I would be more honored to meet this woman than any president or a famous person tbh bcs its much more fullfilling to meet a person that values things that make us happy in life more than everything. give her a nobel prize ffs

Her voice constantly made me keenly aware of the possibility that she might burst into tears at any moment.

I needed this video to pop up for me. My soul desperately needed this.

This was so powerful! This brought much more awareness! Gave me the chills! Thank you! God bless!

What on earth, can the people who down voted this video possibly have against the advice this lady gives. She gives great advice, and it works. Sorry you guys had a resentful childhood, but being kind, and taking time with your kids dont make them soft. It makes them smart, cooperative, curious, and creative. It gives them courage and critical thinking skills, to solve problems, and it teaches them not to give up. It makes them better in the books and at sports. Tools to get them through. Growing up with parents who breathe, makes them stronger.

Stay at home parents are the KEY to a better society, Better people and Better FUTURE!

Thank you so much. In that mom that cook 3 meals a day. I'm exhausted. This is so true I will make a change. Thank you for this eye opener.

Wow wow wow, I wish every single new parent were required to hear talks like this. Thank you!

I love that I watched this. I have a three year old. And if anything Ive learned is that I need to gain patience to his growing mind. I love that I watched this because it's true. Kindness and making memories is what it should be about when we are together.

Thank you!!! I want positive memories! My personal expectations are just too overwhelming for myself, I can not believe I have pushed those stressful expectations to my girls. This was a great message!

Powerful message that made me really think about how I parent and ways that I can improve. Thank you!

“It’s only dozens of minutes most of us spend with our children a day” To me that is a super sad statement

Thank you. I am still crying and have watched this twice. Thank you. Its heartbreaking but much needed.

As 2019 dad I’m so touched by this talk. What a wonderful talk I will try to remind myself this everyday. Thank you 🙏🏾

I'm crying....got me in my feels. As a parent, I needed this...

This is certainly one of the best talks I've ever heard. Thank you very much!

" hug your child say that you love them " Me: just realized that my parents never said I love you or hugged me for the 7 years lol

This is very helpful, especially around this very stressful time for all of us and especially us parents with children at home who need looking after and home schooled on top of all other responsibilities as parents and adults. Inspiring. You certainly helped me shift my perception and reminded me about what really matters: love, kindness, play ❤️

I love your advices, Austėja. Every time I feel helpless your vlog inspires me to become a better parent.

13 weeks pregnant and I honestly needed this

what a coincidence 2 find this vid!!! u must b wondering why ""COINCIDENCE"" cuz this vid was made just 4 me, I saw it in the right moment of my life.......... children do what we do, not what we say!!! thnx 4 encourage me with da right words, dats exactly what I needed 2 hear. greets!!!

Absolutely beautiful and inspiring message. Thank you very much!!

Everyone, especially parents, needs to watch this. 🖤

I had the same kind of father. He never scold at me, never yell or raise his voise. He always just calmly would tell me he love me the way i am, my mother on the other hand bit me to bleed. Anyway, I am glad that I know God is real and He knew what is best for my spirit. And now I have 4 kids, and I choose to be just like my dad, be kind and forgiving. Its not easy to be a parent, but its a blessing. I want everyone to be blessed!

Absolutely! I believe in giving my child and us happy memories of his growing up years 💖

I have a 1yr old son,I am so fortunate to get to watch this.❤️

I don't even remember the last time my parents said me, " I love you ". They just say that if I don't get good grades they will leave me alone and make me feel what life is.

one of the best talks I have heard. great advice and especially good for educators. I will try put the tips of making memories into practice while building positive relationships.

This lady is so passionate. I really enjoyed her talk.

I love how she explained everything i want to be a parent like this. The world 🌍 would've been a better place if we are a good parent as she says.❤❤❤

Such a beautiful talk and person! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and counsel. Parents do play such an important role in one's life, and I have been fortunate that I was, and still am, blessed with the utmost love from my parents, who are such wonderful human-beings. Growing up, we were given freedom to explore, and never reprimanded severely (scolded at times, yes, but not the sort which left one feeling bad about oneself after), and always encouraged to live one's life based on values: kindness, integrity, hard-work, going easy too, as opposed to basing it around meritorial achievement. Plaudits were appreciated, though failures never frowned upon. Just kindly nudges to do better, and to always believe in oneself. So much of who I am today is based on the love I received from my parents - and I shan't deny that an individual harbours certain responsibility too in one's growth. Other's can only do so much - certainly, especially in one's childhood that effect is more pronounced, but I do think that no matter little or grown-up, we must take accountability for our actions. I recall spending much time with myself too in my early years, and I taught myself some lessons; some through learnt experience, and some through intuition and observance. Though, nothing to speak less of the enormous love that was bestowed upon us from the very first day. Grateful to my parents. Love to everyone reading this!

The most important thing that every dad and mom should know about their parenting!!!Bravo!!! Once Mother Teresa said:"The best thing you can do for family is just go to and love them!"👨‍👩‍👧‍👦❤️

I love your words! I was screaming YESSSS your whole video!

She has put it out everything so perfectly!

Wow powerful! Thank you best advice I’ve heard in a long time

care the feelings of those you love. they'll remember.

One of the best Ted talks... So inspiring and encouraging... So true... Thank you. An amazing speaker...

i'm barely 22, no kids, and i found this beautiful. parents are only doing their best and i forget mine are actual people too, they have their own emotions and aren't just a hero on a pedestal with no struggles. I love my parents, and I aspire to be an even better example for my future children.

Thanks for the talk! Many of us need this to listen often!

I created many memories for and particularly with my kiddos. It will NEVER be something I regret. I embrace those memories now as I am in the winter of my life here on earth.

I can not agree enough for every single word she says in her speech! Amazing mother educator and woman!

Some of the most significant exchanges between men happen without a word. Many will never understand.

I loved it! Because even though being a parent is not easy, what she says about memory is the most important thing to plant in them

It's not about the quantity of time but about the quality of time we give our children. Being 100% present for them, enjoying what they do and playing with them. In doing this we will gain much more respect from our kids and watch them be more rounded individuals and will contribute more without us constantly having to ask 😊

Fantastic, I love this perspective

It really touch my heart! This is a nice message..hope everyone touch there hearts too.

I've recently discovered Positive Parenting Solutions, Inc and all I can say is that it has shifted the way I parent and discipline my kids overall. I no longer yell!!! Loving it.

Come back to ski in Georgia. Loved this speach❤

Thank you. I needed this. ❤️

Thank you. Precious. Important. Invaluable.

Thank you so much. Very inspirational talk. I have learned a lot.

This is powerful stuff. I am retired and I can't watch this all the way through. It's too painful to watch as l have only horror memories growing up. Yet there was one who spoke kindly of me. That was my only happy memory, but it was enough to carry me through my childhood and to do reasonably well in life. Despite l have done as well as l could be, I am still extremely frightened to visit that dark spaces of my past. I have to block myself out all the time and immediately. I flee from them. That is the only way to keep me focus looking forward.

This was a great reminder about the importance of kindness while parenting. The fact that being unkind and judgmental can change brain patterns is not new to me but it is always very good to be reminded. Oftentimes my child wants me to sit and watch television. I try to encourage playtime but television has been a challenge to counter during COVID19. I will often sit and watch television with my child but there are times that I will say I have to clean up or do the dishes. I ask my child to help me clean but that is always answered with a no. LOL!! Otherwise I make what time I have as intentionally focused on her as possible. I hope and pray that my child feels this intention from me. Sometimes it feels like parenting is fraught with failure. We will not know if we were giving our children what they needed until they are adults. I am always looking for help about how to be a wonderful mother to my child. This was a great lecture!!

Thank you so much for this. This let's me remember how loving parents I have when I'm a little girl. They are very kind to me. It's a lifetime story of Loving parents.

All of these parenting ted talks are making me cry. Thank you! Very nice

The best ted talk on the subject

Oh my god, I am crying this really resonates with me.

incredible speech and insights

After 6 years I'm listening and crying!...She was great 👍 👌

Very deep and powerful message. Thank you!

i understand. when u have two successful parents, i was expected to be one by the people around, naturally. but… my parents, they even laughed it off when my results fell back of the class. they were there - always. they show up- always. they make memories at every corner of my life. they always remind me to live a life that i want. 😊 thank you, mom and dad. i see that if we make memories, and let go of expectations. naturally, your child will strive in most situations … as you have memory in many situations😁😁

you know what I have found is key in parenting. what i found as being key as a teacher - authenticity. be real with your child and he will perceive the truth in what you do. when a student sees that i am following a predetermined course of teaching they tend to turn off. when they see i am engaging them in the situation at hand directly they respond. one must follow a course of either teaching or child raising (ie the routines a child must be put through). but within that authenticity is something important to be injected to get the childs trust and attention

New thing I can learn from. Thank you very much. This is very helpful.

This made me cry.

"Whenever there is kindness in something, it adorns it, and whenever it is removed from something it disgraces it." Prophet Mohammad 😊

Memories being with our parents are the best memories in our life I have many lovely memories too. 💓 . That taught me to be kind and let go of many things. Our stress shod not effect on our kid's life. We have to accept the difference between each child and situation.

Very beautifully said....it certainly has opened up my eyes and ears

Absolutely brilliant. Thank you

Thank you for your reminder that we as parents should not be so stressed ourselves and transfer it to our children. You make a very good point that memories are worth alot more than being unhappy. Always laugh together, love more and not about being successful in every single thing as the society has caused us to be. Expected to hit milestones, expected to do well, expected to do this and that when all the time, they are learning and absorbing the feelings from us. The happiness that we show is what makes them happy and not when they successfully do something themselves as they do not even know those expectations!

outstanding.. very valuable lecture on parenting

When I get off track, my son reminds me of this truth!

Loved this talk, soooo realistic.

This was a great presentation!! Good information on being a good parent

This was one if the most incredible and meaningful things to listen too thank you so much

Great talk. I think about this all the time- what will my kids remember about their childhood? Thanks for articulating what I’ve been thinking.

Parenting when done correctly is the hardest most important, most rewarding, job there is

Brought me to tears

Best Collection of A Perfect Essay for New Age Parents Forever

Valuable piece of advice that we often forget. ❤️❤️❤️

Wow this was really insightful great talk!

I didn't move a muscle while listening to this. So thoughtful. Every sec worth it.

Thankyou for this video shared to social media x

The best speech about parenting👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

What a great talk ; an eye-opener for me .Thank you very much

Thanks for this beautiful insight... I believe I’ll do better in parenting now🥰

Coming out of Foster care at 18 I only ever knew strict discipline and staying close cause God forbid I disobeyed my Guardians... These comments give me comfort that I'm not alone when unlearning toxix behaviors. I was diagnosed with PTSD and GAD Anxiety .. I need all the help I can get to over come my trauma so I'm not passing it on to my three beautiful children.

That's my life to my children. Memories.

This hits all the points. Thank you for this.