Conscious Parenting: Shefali Tsabary at TEDxSF (7 Billion Well) 

"Children trigger old wounds" Yes they do, and that can be a wonderful thing if you embrace it, and use it as a way to get to know yourself better. When I get triggered I right down what I'm thinking a feeling in the moment, and later I go back and try to find out why, where did it come from. Children are the greatest gift for self discovery.

I am both a school principal for elementary middle and high as well as a a licensed clinical psychologist. Dr. S’s talks have inspired me to start doing conscious parenting classes for brand new parents so that they can learn how to be effective parents and raise children who are able to live in the world without excessive pain originating from their parents own inadequacy’s and wish for their children to meet their own needs to be idealized and needed.

I just watched this for the first time. A couple of years ago tragedy struck our family, and so I decided to take myself and two kids, camping, taking away our screens, and settling into becoming conscious together. Taking away my screen, just as much as theirs, only using it for the needed now and then…this did miracles for our family. You would not believe the transmutation, transfiguration, and transformation of our family. Our life is a dream now, and it was all because I decided to put self deeply into the thing that I chose to be… When I had them, I chose to be their mom… Now I am an empress, nurturing, mother… they’re the best job that I ever did. And I’m going to continue doing it; paying close attention to what is our truth and how it is unfolding and the direction it goes as well. This has served our family and I hope that this comment serves yours.

It's disappointing how people are so quick to criticize people in their deliverance than they are willing to absorb and appreciate a very wise and influential message.

"We cannot expect our children to embody an enlightened consciousness if we parents haven't dared to model this ourselves." Brilliant wisdom on the necessity of self-care and spiritual path making for parents. Our children are our first gurus. It's time to let them awaken us.

"We are consumed by doing...you can't simply play you must achieve, you can't have a hobby you must excel at it."

We need to love ourselves first! Parents... heal yourself. Your children so deserve it. Conscious Parenting. Love to the core of the soul. Self-value! Excited to be part of this change in our society. It is a new evolution!

One of the BEST videos on parenting I have ever seen.!!!!!

Shefali's Indian heritage + westerner education make her a killer healer. She bridges the gap between the essence of BG(Bhagavad Gita), Upanishads(without even mentioning them with technical terms) and current psychological issues in our society; especially in the field of mindful parenting so skillfully and effortlessly. Truly extraordinary.

I'm happy I found this ted talk I've been going through my childhood trauma and I'm allowing myself to feel the pain so that I can be a better parent to my daughter because I know that if I don't try to knowledge my pain at some point in her life she will not want to me around the same way I don't want to be around my parent right now Mental health is important

I have seen over 1,000 Ted Talks and this is by far the most powerful message yet. There is but one way to change out projectory towards self destruction, as an individual and as a human alive on this beautiful blue planet. I live on the edge of hoplessness with emotional scars - you do to. She answers the question we might as God himself.

Dr Tsabary is a gift to us all. Her philosophy on child rearing, 'Conscious Parenting', was my focus as a parent and still is with my teenage son. Children trigger old wounds. If you find yourself feeling disconnected, angry, resentful or abusive, seek help. It takes strength and courage to ask for help. Do it for your child, do it for yourself.

This woman inspires those who are awake and aware!

Not only is her speech a fountain of wisdom that should be understood and incorporated by all parents, I wish for the sake of her brilliant choice of words, that this presentation be transcribed for eternity.

Her book, The Conscious Parent is also available through Namaste Publishing's website. I just gave it as a baby shower gift to an expecting mom today. She was thrilled! :)

"The current parenting paradigm is archaic. We need a revolutionized model that turns away from the "child as problem" towards parental evolution as solution. Today, more than ever, parenting needs to be at the forefront of our global consciousness." indeed, i m fully agree with you, dear Dr. Shefali Tsabary !

This is one of the best parenting videos I have viewed. I believe Dr. Tsabary is correct in her thinking.

This is the most true story I have heard and what a motive, for loving ourselves and our children you give us Shefali Tsabary thank you, I apriciate your work, with great graditute.

She is changing lives.

Succinct, spectacular and sooooooo necessary. I've always believed that we as adults need to walk the talk and become the role models. Having children has helped me to reflect on my own insecurities and I've always acknowledge them for pulling me up for my indiscretions. thanks for this Shefali

Finally, an invigorating, honest and mindful approach to Parenting!! A truly refreshing contrast to the pedagogic "Tiger Mom" parenting styles.... Read Shefali's book, The Conscious Parent - Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children for invaluable insight and introspection.

Right on, Shefali. Every parent ought to take 15 minutes to hear her and then go on to the next two videos to learn how to be conscious parents.

As the child of a morphine addicted and codependent set of parents, I can attest to the wisdom of her words. It took repeated viewings to fully process what she said, once I could get past my own tears, rage and grief. As a parent today of a beautiful young daughter and a beautiful young son, striving to do anything to avoid recreating my family of origin, her words pierced me to the core: "We hurt our children for one reason only; we are hurting, ourselves." Amen. Start the healing. Now. If it were possible I would go back in time and heal the wounds of my own parents. If only quantum physics/consciousness/string theory/many worlds hypothesis (a la Max Tegmark, Michio Kaku, et.al) were true. I will presume it is......

Absolutely, you're right! I have been thinking of your idea for some time; I have met with some narcissistic adults and feel so empathy for them... I know the root of their narcissistic behaviors and attitudes: Their relationship in childhood with their parents. Wow! Thanks for your public speaking about this awakening!

Outstanding in every way. The Conscious Parent is the Parent that looks inside themselves first and understand both their role and responsibility to their child as well as aware of the conditions and challenges they faced as a child, while being careful NOT to place their challenges on their child but use it as fuel to do better. Great presentation!

Thank You Dr. Tsabary, for who you are and what you provide for our children and humanity !!! Birgit Kamps

She absolutely DID THAT!!! I'm in tears. Wow

Thank you for this, Dr. Tsabary. Just a beautifully articulated and compelling argument for the need to parent consciously and mindfully. Brava.

This woman is changing the world and exactly who I’ve been looking for! So looking forward to study her work.

Amazing talk!!! Bless you! Changing society starts at home indeed!

This is absolutely beautiful and powerful!! It’s is time to parents to heal and awaken so that our children which are our future generations will have a much more magical journey full of enlightenment and blessings

How many times can I like this.

You are amazing. You are changing the world and the future by changing the way we parent. Grateful 🙏

Brilliant! Very well spoken. Your passion is contagious. Thank you for sharing.

when we , as a person , are not emotionally healed and come from a trauma or childhood emotional issues , we tend to get into relationships which are attracted on the basis of that trauma . Now , two traumatized individuals happen to marry and produce a new life which is absolutely pure and free from all the societal bs conditioning. Now , when the child is small and cannot speak , not a problem ! But when they grow , start questioning , observing , asking things around them , and then start having their own opinions . Their comes a point when it highlights the parents' insecurities which they don't want to witness and thus emotionally project on the child . This is where the child starts inheriting the products of parent's emotional issues. Children , being naive to all of this , internalize it and it stays with them for life ! So heal yourself and become a decent human being before you think of giving birth and ruining other life.

profound wisdom: The extent to which we as parents know ourselves is the extent to which our children will. The extent to which We as parents can love deeply, laugh loudly, risk bravely and loose freely is the extent to which our children will know joy and freedom.

"The extent, to which we as parents know ourselves, is the extent to which our children will. The extent to which we as parents can love deeply, laugh loudly, risk bravely and lose freely, is the extent to which our children will know joy and freedom. The extent to which we can run out into the rain, without fear of getting wet, is the extent to which our children will lead lives of courage."

This is truly what should be at the heart of parenting. What an empowering message - truly inspirational! Your book The Conscious Parent is a true game changer for a new paradigm in parenting. I invite everyone to read the book and join in this movement.

wow. This brings up so many emotions from my childhood. Very deep, so true. The world would be much better.

This one is incredible.

I have been living this and I know her words to be Truth. It is wisdom of the ages that we need to heed. I have never known a healthy adult who was spanked or controlled as a child, and the least healthy say "I was, and I turned out fine". We MUST be willing to see our own flaws and then choose to grow. There is help out there, for free, so there is NO excuse but fear. Alanon can help, your faith can help, a wise friend can help. Non violent communication is a great start...

How can this video only have a hundred comments and a few 100k views?!

I am a whole new women because my children Force the change in me... It is not easy to transform, but it works.

OMG this made me cry

"Our children are our awakeners, they are our teachers". Conscious parenting does not start by our children. It starts long before that, by oneself.

So Right ON. and so Timely. this needs to go Viral.

Absolute truth, and i came across this after creating my own video.. These words are exactly my thinking and what I believe is truth..Thank you so much for standing and saying it as it is..

time to enlightened ourselves as parents... a new paradigm of parents... thanks DR. Shefali :)

A beautiful reflection of a character of enthisam and creativity is the one called Dr. Shifali. You speak to my heart no matter how many times I listen to you.

So beautiful and inspirational. Thank you!

She is amazing!

Thanks for such an inspiring speech and making parents aware of their innerself and dealing with their kids

Shefali, this is a really fantastic talk. I will definitely share it far and wide, so valuable, so emotive and compelling. So much healing is needed and parents can't always see that the healing is needed, they view that their child is causing their struggles, rather than triggering the unconscious pain in their body memory. This is such important information, thank you for being part of this necessary change in consciousness and understanding.

A brilliant, amazing and inspiring talk, thank you!

Wow. She nailed it

This all makes sense and ties in with a lengthy history of theory and approaches. Where can a parent who wants to address this go, what techniques can be shared and what can they do to either first heal themselves or make efforts to be more conscious with their children. Therapy is expensive, time consuming and a big commitment, without guarantee and in some cases an ill fitting practitioner can make issues worse.

I am currently starting to read her book and it is so good!

You are not only a psych but truly a superb actress and we are fortunate to witness your call to sanity! Luna

This is wonderful!

A very huge THANK YOU and blessings of gratitude for sharing your experiences with all of us.

This is why children with bonding issues aka those with mental turmoil, anxiety, depression, neurosis, ocd and a slew of other SYMPTOMS can benefit in my opinion from a period of non contact with parents in adulthood. Perhaps it will last many many years. But if you break the (tramatic) bond causing the issue apparently permanently to other one involved, it is a boon for self reliance. Self reliance is a key to healing, as Ralph Emerson said we should respect our feelings, our loves, our associations and nature above all else. He said it was our plot to till and no kernal of nourishing grain could truly come from any but that plot. Staying in sikofantic or hurtful relationships even with those we love is ruinous to the health, plain and simple. Im suprised more people havent relized this fact in such common terms. If they dont get the picture, cut them out of the frame. You will know when to do this if after you talk with someone or visit them, you feel bad, weak, downtrodden or hopeless for any extended period of time. Doesnt matter if its your "fault" , feelings cant be helped, they are there to ruin or boost your health status from a psychological and also therefore in some cases, physical perspective. Dump the parent or parents. If you want them back eventually do it on your terms.

Beautifully put. Totally agree.

But I know plenty who are trying to do the best they can even though they are not perfect. This was encouraging. I am doing some stuff right, but could use some work on the patience side. We talk about everything. Sometimes i just want to sit and think for myself and not answer so many questions. I have learned to show my child where to get decent information for himself.

Extraordinaria!!! Evolución Consciencia

Wow this amazing definitely mind opening. Opened my eyes fueling me to see things in a different perspective❤

There has to be the realisation that we need to change before we look for practical answers. If you want to change yourself and your parenting style you will find all the answers you need to do it.

Thank you Dr Shefali! Thanks you for voicing these things

excellent talk shefali - very inspiring

watched her live and she is really smart

Thank you❤️🙏🏿.. Yes my kids are my awakeners 😍❤️🙏🏿🌷😘

This talk brought tears to my eyes. My god, she is spot on!

Love! Thank you'

a profound message of parenting a skill a lack and learn to live our life as an example of children. Teaching children to live without blame.

And 9 years later I stumble into this amazing amazing conversation,this one really hit a personal nerve a conversation that I very interested in,thank you for your truty 🥹💜🦋

Guess it might depend on the grandparents around them. It's good to be reminded that how we react has an impact on the world around us and that includes children.

This video made me cry...

Brilliantly demonstrated!

Amazing talk

Thank you so much Dr. Shefali. I feel bad now :-(

SUPERB..IS THE NAME..THANKSSS

Smile At Your Baby! LOVES this!

wow!!! powerful

Wow, that was powerful!

This also could be paired with the Ted Talks on ACE (adverse child experiences) it explains so much why mental health in children is declining

Brought to tears of self reflection. Buying her book RIGHT NOW.

I think I cried through the whole talk

Brilliant!

I love her.

Very well said. You took the words right out of my mind. Thanks for sharing.

CONSCIOUS TEACHERS too! ;)

So good!!!

Great talk! So insightful, so engaging! "Parental evolution as the solution." Absolutely!

I love her. Very important lesson for parents.

Very good indeed

Brilliant!!

Yes yes yes yes

I enjoyed every word. Thank you

Wow. This is amazing and logical! Made me cry but also I feel inspired to do better with my own children.

Inspiring! Excellent talk!

Fantastic