I completely understand & deeply feel this! I have gone no contact after years of trauma bonding & years of scapegoating & psychological abuse - took me till 42 to do this😕 I also wasn't allowed a voice - I'm glad I'm not in this toxic environment 🙏🏽💜🐞
Good for you I was 54 when I figured out what was really going on. And at 57 I took off I moved away and am no contact with the whole family. Quite the healing journey but it is paradise without the toxicity
We can't heal in the environment where the abuse took place. Same applies to the people who hurt you. No natter how much you rationlize it, the body never feels safe around your abusers. Full healing isn’t possible until you go no contact. Difficult to do when you're 50-ish, single, no kids, disabled and on your own. However, I DO feel safer living in a new place by myself. Now, I have hope, where none existed before.
Unfortunately it's very common in families and many Irish friends say they were scape goated also 😢 I went no contact with mother Dec 22 and feel proud I put that boundary in place. I also joined SBSM over a year ago and just started to do the exercises again after losing my soul dog of 12 years and finally breaking out of a toxic relationship with a narcissistic boyfriend. So many of us have experienced this yet difficult to find good reliable education that's why I'm SO happy to have found Irene Lyon and hope more people learn about toxic dynamics in personal and family environments. Breaking these generational patterns and much needed healing can now start to happen 🙏 thank you for sharing
This is so interesting to me about what you are saying in the Irish culture. My mother's father immigrated to the US from Ireland. My mother is a malignant narcissist who scapegoated me. Do you have any more insight into the Irish culture that pertains to this? Thank you.
@@mariannehodson8700 Ireland has a horrific history of over 700 years of British colonization. This quote describes my Irish narc mom to a T. “The oppressed, instead of striving for liberation, tend themselves to become oppressors.”-Paulo Freire
Relate to much of what you say...losing my doggy soulmate, companion, as you too mention, it brought my world crashing down... slowly healing and distancing myself from my abusive family.... It's not too different from the break ups I had when I had that aha moment...when my mind is made up...it's time to move on.. Unfortunately in my case i should have broken up from my family years ago...but I guess we live and learn...
Every video you make hits home with me more than any others. I too am from an Irish family and we have had the whole mobbing scapegoat situation. Irish families are huge and there isn’t much chance of escaping them unless you change country. My family are now in the U.K. too. I’m off to a family event today and my nervous system is shot right now. So I’m making food to appease them to avoid being scapegoated. My middle sister is the scapegoat at the moment. It switches between whichever child my mother gets offended by. I’m planning to slowly pull away.
wliwni wji yo,(Thank you for this) I have been listening to Irene Lyon for 4 or so years, and considering doing SBSM. I am an Indigenous man, and work in the healing arts of my traditions. I'm always have reticence about non native healing pathways. However I find Irene's work only helps me more deeply comprehend what my traditional Indigenous techniques are achieving. I too had to go no contract with my abusers, over 20 years now. I too tried visiting after a decade. That very quickly got me into a bad position which I escaped fortunately. You will likely find no contact, a sad loss of connection certainly, will bring continuing better returns in your life. congratulations on your healing, you've achieved great things, and certainly more are to come. peace, wawasalmegwadich ta wlalamekw8gon, k'gad8zik ta pamossa wligow8gon
This is so helpful. I am no contact with the last of the narcs and trying to somaticslly heal as well - there is a huge change happening and peace for the first time. My body needs more time to heal however. But it is!
Started watching you a week ago. Thank You ❤ I have already distanced myself as my own family safety net was not there (to my horror) as I found out recently..and my body was in such a bad way, i thought I may just drop dead any day ( my Long Covid complications which i now realise was much to do with my family scapegoating me over the years, me being in denial and losing my pet dog) I am in a safe place now, far away from my family and slowly I see my well being returning... What you say really brings it home...no one will help out in this world, we just have to stand up for ourselves...
amazing - it will enable you then be a 'trauma informed' music therapist. btw, my degree is in music (many moons ago!). let me know if you have any SBSM questions. ☺
I think asthanga yoga functions in a same way. When I started to practise it, I felt angry. Movements releasedceverything. I was so stiff because of years of holding back myself and my breath! Now, in yoga, I must breathe and all the movements made my body release traumas.
funding and the fear of not being able to focus and failing at it is what is stopping me. I wish i was dead daily, i'm 3 years into burnout with a late life diagnosis of autism and adhd.
Why is it $2000; makes me very suspicious when something like this is so expensive, so many people are in these things to enrich themselves! I am already aware i can't be around my sick family, and very aware of my body's reactions thru AA and that was free, just think how much money they are making when each messed up person around the world goes through their stuff, and they never really go into detail about what they do, other than to say its simple, who isn't aware of wanting to pee? How many people are going to imagine they are better, even this lady could have gone on utube and found this info free! 🤔 We must be careful when we put our trust in these dubious modalities! We just don't know, its blind faith!😊😮😂❤
Thank you so very much Mary 🩷🙏🏻You're the only one that describes exactly what childhood/adult scapegoat abuse is to us. How did you stop the stress eating?
Thank you ☺️ Mostly using IFS modality - internal family systems to create internal safety so I don’t need to act out with substances to numb the emotional pain of the past
So 😁 to have found your channel. This is the 1st Thanksgiving / Christmas cycle I have gone No Contact w my family of origin. I am around your age, turn 50 soon. I have an identical twin who sadly is VERY enmeshed in the Cult mind not of our parents as they have been dead for Decades, but our older sister, age 60 who has (behind a Victim mask) engineered this Crazy 🎪 🚆🎠 It took me 30 years to Realize how Frenetic ( Demonic!) her energy is and that she rattles my Peace EVERY time I speak to her. Religion is a big prop for her as she makes a point to "say her 📿" everyday and is a member of the Legion of Mary. Yes, my older sister is DESPERATE to hear my voice on the phone... Too bad! On the 4th of Never will I speak to her. She is getting a taste of all the Pain and abandonment she has dished out to others for DECADES. Let her wrap her head around it, she can put 2 and 2 together. I told her Nothing of my decision not to speak to her...
