Romanticizing Depression: How Gen Z Aestheticized Mental Illness 

What do you think? Anything I left out or missed?

I’ve fallen into the “depression is cool” trap myself. I feel like it’s more comfortable to make depression my identity, then to actively work to become someone who is no longer depressed

We need to start romanticizing resilience more.

I found myself in this rut years ago. Deleting my social media accounts 2 years ago was the best decision I ever made. No validation for my shitty feelings and it really kept me out of my head. Its the best antidote

What i have noticed myself is that the more you cling to an emotional state, the worse it gets. Being attached to happiness is as unhealthy as being attached to sadness. The more you don't accept a certain feeling, the harmful it gets. You get stuck in the cycle of seeking the same state over and over again. That is at least, what i have learned in my relatively short life... By the way, thank you for all that high quality content. I dont wat h RU-vid as often as i used to but your channel gives me inspiration and a sense of belonging.

I relate a lot to the need to feel sad. I used to participate in a lot of self-destructive behavior (like watching p*rn and binge-eating) and I still do, even though I knew it will make me sad. Even as I tried to quit, there was something pulling me back into these behavior patterns. I now realize this was due to deep self-loathing. I felt the need to do things that made me feel sad almost as a way of punishing myself for not being who I wanted to be. I got better since then. Got a job, signed up to a gym, and now I'm way more productive than how I used to be when I was rotting at my house. As a direct result I also got better at avoiding bad habits. People don't realize that a lot of their surface problems can be traced to an inner sense of turmoil, and that the drive for suffering is likely your body's way of telling you there's something fundamentally wrong in how you live you life, despite your attempts to ignore it. The problem with destructive coping mechanisms (like getting addicted or immersing yourself in a fictional world and relating to its tragic characters) is that they don't address the core problems that cause you to want to be sad in the first place. Sadness is a catalyst for change, but when it's channeled into the same habits that caused you to be sad in the first place it creates an endless loop of suffering, which is not only dangerous, but can literally break a person. Before you aestheticize sadness, remember that it's only good if it leads to action. Take it as a sign that something is wrong and look for solutions. You're never sad for no reason

Great video, Cole. I can relate to your experience. I mentioned this to my friend the other day -- I absolutely HATE seeing "🌈anxiety attacks!!" or "CEO of overthinking❤" or shits like that plastered all over shirts and other merchandises. I'm all for awareness but I can't stand the 'aestheticization' of real mental problems.

One of the huge reason why this happened is because 90% of RU-vidrs were saying they have depression, and promote therapy to literally anyone, which devalued mental illness and made it feel like it's not a big deal, or not that different than "being depressed"

Being sad is an addiction🙂 Don't know why but once you start being so critical of yourself , it is very hard to recover.....Be soft on yourself ....forgive for your past blunders..... Life is short💙

my friends are obsessed with romanticising mental illness. They self-diagnose based on nothing or tiktok or stereotypes and its super distressing for me because theres so much stigma and misrepresentation that affects me but it doesn't affect them :(. They. can brag about their adhd and their medication but look at me funny when I had to take my meds which I tried to not draw attention to (for a little bit I had to have them during a break between periods because the other tablet would've stopped taking effect) and I hated it so much I felt so uncomfortable. I literally used to hide any meds, my heatpack, felt guilty for my weighted blanket etc when people came over. I hate it, I hate the stigma its not aesthetic or poetic or cool its debilitating. I have no life, no control over any decisions, I'm constantly supervised, always at appointments or in arguments. And they want this? They think its quirky and have made jokes mental hospitals which they have NEVER experienced and it triggered me massively. Mental hospitals are not "grippy sock vacations" there is nothing fun about them, I'm traumatised from the hospital & mental health services. Because of this romanticisation it has really ramped up my obsessive thoughts I get multiple times a day that I'm faking and I'm invalid and not sick enough to meet my diagnoses because I'm faking. Its awful and distressing and I hate it so much:( its a constant loop and I need confirmation that I'm not faking and making people feel bad or doing the wrong thing. I want the romanticising to stop.

You’re killin it Cole. Keep going, let’s get to 1,000,000 by this year 💪🏻🔥

This is what ive been thinking about. Those "memes" of the literally me characters i saw on instagram had a relatable side to them. During the times i felt alone i used social media to distract myself i saw the exact same situation i was in shown through the meme. I liked the video because i found it relatable and the algorithm did its job and started recommending me more and more of the literally me character posts. These posts never have a positive outlook so in a way you are essentially stuck in this never ending loop of sadness. My life got a lot better when i used the not interested option. I ended the cycle of the never ending relatable sadness and started looking for ways to improve myself. Ive now found some really good friends who help me improve myself and help me become a better person.

I’m gonna keep it a stack, exercise is absolutely the reason I am no longer depressed. I started running for my school and cycling for a league. getting out and working myself to my limit is such a good way to distract yourself from depression. For me, the distraction further evolved into no longer having depression.

Here are my thoughts on this topic: First, I think it is a two-sided sword to present mental illness on social media. It's good when you maybe reach those who can relate to you or that it becomes more socially acceptable. On the other hand, most of the things on social media is mostly staged or things getting romanticized and aestheticized. Second, it's also easier to create a "This is me - meme" that also can be seen as joke, rather than discussing problems with an medical expert.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that when people are listening to another person battles/struggles, they try to downplay it by making it seem like they had harder & just disregard the person venting. It seems like everything is a challenge about who has it worst instead of being grateful for having it good. I was at fault of that in my teenage years.

For anyone who’s struggling and feeling like they are sad for no reason here’s what helps me, personally. 1) Delete ALL social media for just a week. 2) Set a goal that’s not that hard to accomplish, (drink 2L of water per day for example) 3) Go for a walk, TRUST ME. (the best ones are in the nature) 4) Try new hobby (i bought a journal and i’m sketching in it each day and it DOESN’T MATTER HOW UGLY IT LOOKS AT LEAST U TRIED. U can also try cooking, trying out different outfits, drawing, singing…) 5) Do something that will sound silly at first. Lay in the grass, dance in ur room like you’re insane, sing even if u don’t know how, i know it sounds goofy but trust me. 6) Romanticize daily activities ( taking a shower, drinking tea, eating, listening to music, cleaning, reading..Add a little spice to everything you’re doing. 7) Be more mindful. Instead of being in “autopilot” mode, try being fully present while you’re doing stuff. Enjoy each food bite, feel each step you take, feel each thing you touch, pay attention to everything you hear. 8) Like he said, IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY AND IT’S OKAY TO BE OKAY. Stop thinking that it’s lame to be happy…

This is why the song "Art School Wannabe" by Sorority Noise it's one of my favorite songs ever. I fell into this liking in sadness at some point as well, "maybe I'm too scared to admit that I might not be as dark as I think, maybe I'm not the person that I never wanted to be" were the lines that made think about what I was feeling really, I kinda cringed on myself after realizing how fake and even narcissistic I sounded sometimes. I still felt sad, but it was clear that I tried it to sound worse than it actually was, saying I had a lot of problems, but never actually explaining them out loud to close people because deep down, I knew I didn't actually wanted to solve them.

This is the first Comment I have written in over 7 Years. But I really have to do it because I couldn't appreciate this clear structured, rational and empathetic Video more and hope more people (like me), who were vulnerable for these kind of thoughts, can reflect on their own development into a full grown person, which is aware of their problems and capabilities to get through them. As I am in my 20s now I'm slowly losing the memory of me struggling as a teenager with totaly human feelings. But it's nice to reflect and appreciate who I am today and who I was. Great Work & much love from Germany🖤

Hey Cole, This was a great video. I knew that depression was a widespread issue. I never thought that was possible to become addicted to the feeling of being depressed. Very insightful video that gives very good examples and insights into how depression can become so ingrained into one’s personality that the very thought of not being depressed can be scary.

Gen z did not do this. This started with gen x. This is just the latest version of trendy mental illness.

I used to think that sad, tragic tales made for the best types of stories. Then I watched K-On and realized that some stories don’t even need to be serialized to be really well done. It’s okay to feel sad, but just as important it’s okay to feel happy

Ypu don't even know how much it helped me. Thank you for this video.

The stigma around mental illness was still present, although shrinking, when I was a teenager. My school environment was underequipped to address this sort of problem with the nuance it needed. I was pretty lucky to have some teachers who understood and encouraged me to pursue hobbies and interests that added much needed dimension to my life.

As a 14 years old kid, I can say that i definitely relate to this. Fortunately, my personality is very focused on uniqueness, which means that I tend to reject most trends (so I mostly uneffected by "Literally me" mental ilness characters. Unfortunately that drives me away from people a lot of the times, which nearly drove me to depression multiple times. Fortunately, I either tend to go towards Stoic "Literally me" characters (which I've been trying to avoid recently after discovering how bad it is to supress my feelings) or characters focused on resolving their problems, and dealing with their shitty self/ mental ilnesses (an exemple is Rudeus from Mushoku Tensei). Also thanks for bringing this video to us, as your videos of Gen Z have really helped me realize and put into words the ideas I belive in (for those who are looking for the same thing I recommand Aperture)

this really spoke to me, been trying to change this whole aspect in my life lately thanks again man I love your work

There is no true place for any of human emotions in nature itself. Everything is so brutally natural, dynamic and formidable.

People "wanting" to be sad is a bit of a stretch. I believe people wanting to feel those feelings of self pity, wallowing in helplessness and accepting nihilism and that sadness is an integral part of your life is the idea the public likes to follow. This is a form of abandoning responsibility to some extent, of pleasurable peace one can achieve, also it is a form of coping mechanism (or escapism) from sadness. Another thing is that society reinforces the sadness in you. If you show your feelings and you happen to be sad, you might not get the response you wished for, instead you become the person who is "the downer" or the one who ruins the vibe. If you are in a society that prefers toxic positivity over self-expression, then it is normal to want to be accepted for the ugly feeling of sadness in a community. Overall sadness in itself is not something anyone would want. It is biologically made to make us not feel well. Everything else that comes with "being the sad person" is the factor that makes this all so popular.

The way ive come to understand it is, without purpose or direction, without a need to achieve or create, without a battle to fight, a war to win, existence is pointless, we need to now change our thinking heavily, we need to appreciate the peace we have, the fighting was done for us, we can rest in honor of others

I completely understand with this videos message Cole and couldn’t agree more. It all goes with the act of needing to shed your past if you have negative experiences there, and looking towards the future deciding exactly who you want to be. There was a long period in my life of living through a sort of constant low grade depression, I was only living like this though because I was stuck as still being viewed as the insecure lonely shy self that I had always been. That idea of myself made me sad, so therefore I was depressed. Eventually though, I learned to completely shed that past version of myself, and figured out I can be any kind of person I want to be from one day to the next, that’s the moment when that constant low grade depression I always had completely went away, because I had decided to become the person that I wanted to be but had never been until now, not weighed down at all from the past version of myself in my head anymore. I also can see that people do this and stay in a state of constant low grade depression because it keeps them in their comfort zone, if you want to become a strong, confident, assertive person in life, when you had never done so before, that isn’t easy, it takes a lot of courage. That’s why many people as you’ve just described like to stay depressed I think, it gives them an excuse to not have to face their fears. Depression should only be temporary like you said, not at all a permanent state. Mentally strong people will not fall into this trap although temping for them, because they will realize that life is hard and to just deal with its challenges head on. These are the kinds of individuals we need more of in this society. People who will take life’s punches head on, without letting it permanently alter their mental state.

But.. Guys. Seriously. I'm literally a sigma giga chad based male. I'm literally Bill from Eyes Wide Shut.

when i was in the 8th grade i convinced myself that i had depression, so i would very purposefully make myself feel worse and just think about how sad i was all the time. and it was so addicting to think that there was something wrong with me because then i would be a tragic movie character and not just a loser. after a while i slowly forgot about it and became really happy again and it was like i completely forgot what that felt like. so yk if you have the choice, BE HAPPY

Great job on this video. There were a number of years where I held onto my anger because it was the only thing that kept me warm.

I was literally thinking about how Dexter affected me as a teenager right before you shared your experience. That is actually insane 🤣

Honestly, everyday I'm really happy and thankful that my mother didn't let me have a phone until I was 12 and that I didn't really have any social media until I was 15. All I had was youtube and memes on wattpad (because I was never really into fanfiction, I just wanted to talk about the characters I loved and to laugh at memes you know?). I had a pretty bad depresive episode when I was around 10/11 and little me who was a shy, quiet kid that never really fitted in with people their age really romanticised that depresive episode when they finally got out of it. I liked to think of myself as this very tragic character that was always smiling and acting as if they were happy but that was actually very sad and pretending for others, when in reality I was just a lonely art kid. I did go through that once, but when it was over I was just forcing myself to feel bad because it made me feel like I was cool when I felt like I wasn't. I felt invisible and needed a reason to feel like a cool, interesting person, and that sadness was what I thought made me cool and interesting. Tiktok didn't really exist back then but other big social media did and I'm very happy that I wasn't on ANY of them or I think that romantisation would have last way longer than it did. Thing was so bad I literally felt sad when I turned 14 because 13 is the bad luck number so I liked it 😭 It was also in my big "I'm not like other girls" phase, that ended when I was around 14 when I realised the reason I wasn't like "other girls" wasn't because I was cool and better than them, but because asexuality is a thing, lol. And the identity crisis that came with that kind of made me forget about all the "tragic sad sad artist" persona that I made of myself. My best friend of the time (we don't talk anymore) struggled with very bad depression and once she told me that she thought she had a personality disorder, so she was really really interested in mental illness and that made me interested too. In my last two years of middle school I did learn a lot about mental illness and I ended up thinking that I very possibly had social anxiety, but at least this time it was based on actual evidence and not in me trying to find a reason to feel cool. And when things got really bad, I did decide that I had enough and tried to get help. Unluckily I got a terrible therapist and covid happened so yeah, that wasn't very helpful. And after I left that therapist because she really wasn't helping and even told me she didn't understand why conversion therapy is illegal inmediatly after I came out to her, I started art school and was so busy that I literally couldn't go to therapy at all. This year my schedule was better and I could finally go to a new therapist. This one is really close to my house and she's genuenly amazing 😭 she makes me feel listened to and is actually helping me deal with my problems and taking me seriously instead of whatever tf my previous therapist did (and she didn't try to conversion therapy me which is a plus!!!) And she also told me I very likely have avoidant personality disorder, which makes wayyy more sense than social anxiety. Well, I probably do have social anxiety too, but more as a side effect to the AvPD. But when she told me I was in absolute shock. I thought it was "just" anxiety, it's actually a personality disorder. When personality disorders are chronic and way more stigmatised. It took me a LONG time to process, and when I finally did (and everything makes way more sense now that I know that), I'm just thankful I didn't have this information when I was 13 😭 I love 13 yo me but I just KNOW they would have romantised the hell out of having AvPD and made it their entire personality (no pun intended), and probably accidentally made their symptoms worse. Current me is just happy to finally have an explanation to why talking to people is so terrifying. Having a mental illness is NOT fun and it doesn't make you cool, but it also doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you a person with an illness. And I just really apreciate my good days and I'm hoping for the day when I can finally navigate the world without constantly feeling terrified of everyone and everything

“You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness…now you’re just somebody that I used to know”

I’m 47yo and I’ve lived with diagnosed depression,OCD and anxiety attacks since my earliest memories. I remember very clearly being 8 or 9 and looking out the window to see friends playing and had a wave of crushing heaviness come over me. I have no trauma, no explainable reason for having this my entire life other than biological. My great grandfather, grandfather, and father all had/have it. What I absolutely love is that everyone of us with it never stopped from succeeding. The first two were both engineers in the bio chemistry field and my father is a retired attorney/judge. And my hero. I’ve got a successful career, own two homes, etc but still this crushing heaviness comes around at times. Other times it’s a dull roar in my being. At this age I’ve realized I may never beat, 99% of Internet programs are garbage and medication does help me. I’ve also realized to be compassionate to every single person I meet. Even if I do not care for them. This is life, this is a challenge I inherited but it will not stop me.

I wish it weren’t so romanticized or how normalized it is mental illness can excuse bad behavior, self harm habits, or just negative thoughts to the point where oh everything sucks so there’s no point. I just now got help at 25 years old I was given medication and start therapy in a few weeks. I’m nervous but I feel better knowing I got help. I hope others can follow through to get help too. And mine isn’t that expensive either since I signed through a government run clinic. It takes more time to get approved and more things needed to sign up but I pay $15 for meds and $30 for therapy.

I hate being depressed and socially anxious. I can’t imagine romanticizing this hell. It’s ugly and painful. It’s not something you should adopt as a quirky character trait. That’s honestly one of most offensive things you could possibly do.

Good video. There's definitely a difference between sharing your struggles openly for relief or to help educate and capitalizing off that struggle with memes, memorabilia, etc etc. And this obsession with mental illness is very conditional; lots of people only like mental illness if it's interesting to them... When the hype dies down it's “weird” again.

Yay someone’s finally saying it. I have friends with actual depression. I have been through a depressive period. It’s not cool. Taking the steps to feel better is.

Thank you for this insight. I'm 36 and definitely have the biggest string of diagnosed mental disorders of any human being I have ever come in contact with (bipolar 1, BPD, PTSD related to childhood physical/sexual abuse, domestic violence and rape as an adult as well as multiple suicide attempts with 3 involuntary psychiatric hospitalizations and history of disordered eating too). I can never understand why anyone would want to live my life. Why anyone would pretend to have these things. After your video I think I understand why. I post a lot online about my mental illness, I could actually be someone's "literally me". But you know what? I try my damnedest every day to live as normally as I can. I don't want these things to be my identity, just the opposite. I want to live like everyone else. These young people have the ability to live like everyone else, but they see value in this glamourized identity. Believe me, it is not glamorous at all. Maybe these young people haven't reached "the real world" yet, but society is not kind to people who disclose their mental illness. The stigma is real and it sucks. I've lost 2 very good jobs because I disclosed my disability. People don't trust me with responsibilities, even though they have no reason to. I'm "different". I'm an "other". I so badly want to be normal and to think these young people have that opportunity and choose not to take it makes me sick. It dilutes the seriousness of people who actually suffer too since we can be seen as faking it or being overdramatic. I hope these young people find some better role models to identify with and actually experience joy in life instead of focusing on creating a false identity based off of other people's terrible lives.

I’m a Gen Z and I just want everyone to know I do not want a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I’m perfectly happy by myself with all my non-romantic friends and acquaintances

It's just really hard to confront your depression in the direct way and actively fight against it, i know that for sure. But after a long fight, i just got everything i wanted. A soulmate, a job, more weapons to fight against the black hole inside of me. Never surrender❤

I think it's more about chaneling the feelings instead of romanticizing. When we hit rock bottom that's pretty much all we can do, and positivity can be kinda toxic for us. I've been there, and chanelling the feelings through dark memes and depressive music like Joji helped me a lot.

31 year old Millennial with anxiety/OCD here. Nothing quirky or glamorous about it. Glad I’m medicated. And you make a fascinating analysis! I confess I identify with Danaerys Targaryan from GOT (but I don’t count season 8 in that because the writers dropped the ball and what she did in season 8 made no sense for her character). I also identify with 90’s Mulan. I guess I identify with female characters who overcome obstacles and emerge victorious. So despite my actual mental illness, I think it helps me thrive to identity with resilient characters.

Deep dives. Ingenuine content. Amazing videography. Now, thats the Cole Hastings I know.

I've always been super fascinated with these movies, not because of the psychopaths but because a lot of these movies are extremely good at delving into super complex issues with society, people, and our own internal experiences. But I've always had a probably with people saying they want to be like people in those movies when the movies are portraying the immense suffering and broken society that makes these kind of stories. For example American psycho - people in society going to extreme measures to fitting in and hiding behind masks. Taxi driver - a Vietnam War veteran with extreme PTSD who doesn't have support and struggles with addictions to pornography and alcohol. The Joker (which in my opinion is the worst offender of people wanting to relate to this movie as he literally kills his mom) - someone who went through physical, emotional, maybe sexual abuse? And growing up in a broken home with severe mental issues like depression and hallucinations. I'm not sure exactly how conditions but this was a very extreme movie. With those examples being said, to me these movies show why I DONT want to be like these characters.

Who, who desires to be sad? I'm (18 yo, sorry for possible mistakes btw) just sad during all social interactions, because I can't fit in, even though there are all chances to fit in. I do try, I think, that I'm normal, just making some mistakes. Idk what they are. I even imagine, like I'm not sad, but it doesn't work. People, who pretend to be sad, because it's "romantical and misterious" irritate me so much

This video is brilliant! I've thought about and discovered some of the concepts that you described in this video over the years. Everything is pretty accurate.

i feel that the terms 'my depression' 'my anxiety' etc are a form of cognitative behavior therapy, in the sense that it ties those feelings directly to yourself and the more people use the terms the more they embed and reinforce those feelings into their psyches.

Thank you Cole!

Another really good video man, Hope your living well brother, PEACE as always from the UK.

Im bettering myself, but its helpful to feel like im not the only one at this point.

Sometimes I feel romanticizing tend to either take away the real consequences or lead to dreadful consequences. Either you act out depression into some sort of poetic theme that as an artist helps create arts or sometimes you fall deeper into pain and hollowness than it actually is.

I think the real truth is life is pointless. There is no reason to do anything because you will die. With that said i think it may be worth a try for some. And for those that dont want to try thats ok too. In the end, it really doesnt matter. I prefer to be happy and feel good versus not.

I think purposelessness has a strong link to Gen Z's depression and nihilism. When you have your life all good and comfy, many feel like having no great overarching goals for you to achieve. Sure, many people find purpose in their hopes and dreams but not everyone has the luxury, the willingness, nor even the personal goal to achieve that. Values and future prospects are what makes life meaningful, as you have some goal to strive ahead. As a result, traditionally people find values and purposes in traditional things such as family (having kids and offspring of your own), religion (how to have a better life/afterlife after you die), etc. In contrary, the hollowness of values, the 'nothing really matters' attitude lead you to strive solely for now and the present, missing yourself opportunities for future prospect.

The romanticization of depression has made the truly depressed become even worse than they already were. It’s sad, especially coming from a person that has a higher predisposition for depression and because of my mental makeup.

I have mental condition and yes, i often have a 'waaah, waaah' self indulgent moments. But the loud and shouty tiktokkers making mental health go viral, make me feel that i should shut up. People waxing on about how they have anxieddeeeeee and how 'introvert' they are. I think its because young people want to emulate their idols. A lot of modern day celebs are very open about their mental health. So fans, emulate that. Including mannerisms and croaky voices. Its an affectation.

Dude I've been seeing so much videos of why young men are depressed and going MGTOW. Even sadder I'm 24 and seeing people's my age already giving up of life. Like yeah the world is fucked up but it doesn't mean you should give up. There's always hope for things, and so much opportunities to improve (like families, friends and yourself). Now I'm just speculating from the thumbnail.

personally, my kids give my life meaning, and i find i dont reach out for some kind of "manufactured personality" to give my life meaning because, I simply live to support my family and try to just survive and have a good time in this world. Now, with the staggering statistic of Gen Z having less kids, mostly due to expenses, but also other reasons, they may be struggling to find reasons for living, or ways to define their lives, bevcause we are literally wired to find that through raising children; if youa rent doing that I think you become more susceptible to "seek out" meaning in life, which leads some people down this path of being obsessed with mental illness and depression to define themselves. .

A lot of musicians,myself included,have also been guilty of this(Nick Drake,Neil Young,Townes Van Zandt,Kurt Cobain,Chris Cornell,Layne Stanly,Elliott Smith,Aaron Lewis,Shaun Morgan,Jason Isbell,etc),and here's why.It's because we want to tell our own individual stories,and let other people in our shoes know that they're not alone,but yet be accepted in a world where nobody really truthfully cares about our problems because we ALL have problems. "Are we miserable because we listen to music,or do we listen to music because we're miserable?"-John Cusack in High Fidelity

I really like this quote from "Long Drives" by BoyWithUke(Great depressive-aesthetic artist btw): "I kinda wanna go back; I'm missing the pain of a heartbreak." I've formed a sort of familiarity with being sad all the time, and I'd simply rather feel sad 80% of the time and happy 20% of the time than feel nothing 80% of the time and kinda happy-ish 20% of the time.

It’s about feeling different. “No one understands me.” “My parents said im special so this must be how.”

mental illness makes you unique and quirky and brave and strong

One thing possibly worth mentioning is the rise in popularity of yamikawaii/menhera fashion. I daresay it's more popular in western countries than it is in Japan now. I think in part it makes sense that aestheticisising sickness took off even more after the pandemic: sickness, both mentally and physically, became a major part of most people's lives for years, so it almost makes sense. It's relatable, it reflects our reality in a way. I don't think kids are just being edgy posers in identifying with sickness aesthetics. On the other hand, I'm not sure I buy the argument that it actually helps people cope with what they're feeling by expressing it through aesthetics. I think it can easily become a way to self trigger. A sort of tunnel vision is very common when you're not mentally well, where nothing feels okay and there's no way out and no good future, your past, present and future feel bleak. I'm of the opinion that aestheticising those feelings can further exacerbate that tunnel vision.

depression is unbelievably comfortable, like its just midnight and its raining outside. its just too comfortable to listened to sad song and imagining life with my crush. i starting to know that this is unhealthy and now finally I can getting myself out of there.

I glitched it and instead of it playing the video it’s playing the vocaloid cover of coral in the miniature garden

Damn this was a really good video. For me, i loved the character "Lambchop" from the game Sweet no death. I cant remember why i liked him so much. Maybe its because i liked his views about the main character.

you can be addicted to certain kinda feeling

Great video. Social Media is definitely a big part of this trend, so if you were to do it again, you should talk more about tiktok and instagram.

I have every reason to be depressed and don’t know why I’m not

ok... now i dont know if anyone is gonna read this but i really hope someone does let me start of by saying that I havent been diagnosed as clinically depressed. But. What i have expirienced throughout my childhood and early development i feel like I had this abnormal neurodivergent development even before ... "literally me" was a thing. If anything, the only comfort I had during these times was this "literally me" [although I wont say it necessarily make me go find the solutions but it did give me an ounce of comfort, understanding i never. ever had and it told me I wasnt alone and it kept me going somehow, aldoe it being a fleeting comfort.. I try to cling onto this comfort again and this part I do understand how it can affect you neggatively] But let me tell you, if you actually have "depression" caused by your warped internalised irrational view of yourself and this world and you actually have neurotic traits all caused by this internal past trauma you never acknowledged, when "literally me is certainly more of the romantisication than the solution and can keep you in the cycle.... is inconsequential when you have this sort of "actual unacknowledged internalised trauma" "in which case simply "not being sad" And "looking at the bright side" does not often lead to them finding out about their trauma and how it affected them and is consequentially clouding their judgement, lead them to more neuroticism, internalisation and how it clouds their view of this world and themselves. You need to understand that some people are just more neurotic than others. you call them "lazy" you may think they're "just making excuses" and you might be right. maybe most are. But theres a difference between being "sad" and "empty" and being "depressed" people just use it interchangably like its the same thing. but its far from it. Deppression is this inner conflict inside you, its irrational, its internal, its this constant cycle of just.... It consumes you as a whole, the way you think, the way you see yourself, the way you see others. You turn into it. And it hurts so much when people around you just dismiss you as "lazy" and when they think you're just "acting cool" for "attention" (their pov of you could be explained by this culture of 'being sigma' 'acting mysterious' ) And you dont know yourself, why you feel the way you feel, if you do then you my friend are not depressed. You can feel empty for a long time but that might not be depression. its not just emptiness, its hopelessness, irrationality, its just pain every single day you dont understand why, its being in pain and not realising that you are You yourself dont understand it, when you do talk about it to someone they dont get it either and dismiss it as "laziness" "making excuses" So many out there end it because they find no escape... no one understands them and neither do they themselves. Im not saying identifying yourself as "depressed" is good. that is not helping you recover I agree. But for those who really suffer their voices are not heard. They keep suffering. Meanwhile those just "being sad" and "empty" romantisize it and people like you argue. Those who truly suffer continue suffering

The get rewarded to in school with 'accomodations' and get to turn work in late. Parents complain about teachers who don't cowtow to mental illness. Reward behavior you get more of it.

All I have to say is...THANK YOU for making this video

As someone who really did go down the mental illness spiral, mostly because of a reckless series of improper treatment from family, from psychiatrists, and from nearly everyone around me, I don’t think it’s cool. I see through the romanticization of mental illness quite aptly. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. It isn’t cool to be let down, it isn’t good to be unwell. And I wish people from the more recent generations would see this.

im so glad i never fall onto these myself probably because i never watched tiktk

I'm so tired of sarcasm. People often joke about exaggerated, minuscule issues sarcastically and seem to bathe in problems all the time. I often find myself doing it, regrettably, because of adaptation to people around me. I want it to stop.

I don't think most people that say "literally me" are trying to or going to get certain characteristics of that character that they relate with, since when I and others ik say it, we're just expressing how we relate to the character/s and it's comforting that others feel the same so that could be why it's getting more popular. But I don't think that depression or mental illness is cool or unique. But that's my opinion/insight on the topic as a 15 yr old.

the quality of ur vids have sky rocketed ....

Also id like 2 point out most people misunderstood the fact of shadow work they more the identify with the shadows the trauma and repressed characteristics, instead of integrating and letting go them fade away.

I'm autistic and it's said that people falsely claiming that neurodiversity movements represent me. Still, solid video. Lot of good points.

I have been like this since 2018..to add more corona came..then i cant talk to other people

When I was younger I actually thought that being depressed and "broken" is the only thing that makes me an interesting person. I'm happy to say that this is no longer how i feel but sometimes I do realize that some of this sentiment is still inside me, even though I now know how wrong and stupid it is. Same was with drugs for me. I thought if I dont so any drugs I'm not interesting, and the picture of the "suffering artist" really made me the person I am today. Which is sad and i to this day cant fully get rid of its influence on me. This s**t is so fucking harmful but on the other hand I think its impossible to forbid people to share their experience. And with the sharing of these experiences there will probably always be a bit of romanticizing.

These films are not fetishizing depression. They more fetishize a kind of "society sucks" mentality.

I’m 24, gen z technically… I have severe mental illness and my life is ruined. I think the romanticism of suffering is complicated. As in some ways it’s helped me cope, in other ways it’s made people discredit how much I actually go through on a daily basis. At the end of the day I’m not a huge fan of it, as it’s like romanticizing having a broken leg or physical injury

Being depressed is not cool. Trying to get better and improve is actually cool. Fight for yourself and respect your right to be ok with your own life.

"Why do you say 'literally me' about Patrick Bateman?" "Because I want to fit in."

I just take ashwaganda. Never felt as calm as ever

Normally I don't comment on videos simply because I don't feel the need but the topic of this video strikes at the heart. I'll admit I've at some point romanticized it and even wished for it for it at some point to experience the supposed "suffering" of mental illness. Fortunately in the past few years I've come to somewhat understand the pain due to my own life events and I deeply regret having been foolish enough to wish that upon myself and even romanticize such topics. Now I really aim to learn more about different types of mental illness and how people/characters deal with life's greatest of challenges whether it be abuse, addictions, self harm. Etc. Additionally some of my favorite characters in fiction are villain like characters who throughout the story experience vast amounts of character growth and become embodiments of resilience and kindness as that connects to me the most. But in many ways I still think I romanticize it with a prime example being how in the novel I'm aiming to write I craft characters with certain life traumas simply to overcome them while being able to appeal to those who may have experienced something similar. However I still think I try to make said truama appear "cool" which is something I aim to fix but I don't completely understand how to overcome this habit. Additionally I'll sometimes listen to music which keeps me within the rut I find myself stuck within. Of course I'm attempting to change that habit by listening to more positive music or listening to music that represents me overcoming my own struggles. This may also be the reason some people may see me as "emo" but in the end I'm here to be better and hopefully overcome my internal struggles while helping others. Other than that I apologize for the rant but this video caught my eye and hit home. But I hope everyone reading this finds some comfort in knowing they aren't alone in this issue and that it's not the end for you. The fact that you're here says a lot about your willingness to acknowledge the issue and take steps to resolve it so may God be with you on your life's journeys!!! Good luck my brothers and sisters and wish you all the best in your endeavors!!! Thanks Cole for making these videos as well, your contribution to the community is greatly appreciated!!! ☺️

Nice summarization "it's ok to not be okay, but it's also okay to be okay" straightforward but right on point. Interesting video Cole, appreciate you speaking out on this, and opening my eyes yet again to these problems.

Another problem with the kids doing this is that if you _do_ have serious problems, but you also happen to look a bit young, now certain people won't believe you because they think you're just following a trend. Can make it harder to get help. It's also just super weird to me as someone who grew up back when the trend was "YOU CAN'T LABEL ME!!" lol.

I think we are in a weird transition period where mental health issues are being de stigmatized and discussed, but our institutions haven’t quite caught up yet. Politicians love to say that we need better mental health but don’t actually back it up with funding for wider access to these services. The cost and barriers to getting a good therapist/psychiatrist are still quite high for many people. Not to mention that something that needs appointments is really hard for someone with dysfunction 😅

As someone that struggles with actual mental issues, I never understood why people wanted to identify so badly with a problem to the point of making it a defining label, I found it disgusting and sad because when I found out I had these problems I hate that I had them and I do not want them the point I even denied that I had a problem in the first place.

As an INDIAN I can confirm movies impact the minds of the people especially on the not so educated ones for example. The Bollywood movies shows that hero first stare a girl than the girl repulsed by that so he don’t care and continue to creep her then the girl finally realise how much the hero loves her and marry him. So much of boys influence by it and creep the girls despite being rejected.

I think you covered basically everything. Something you might have missed, however, is that there is a certain ”enjoyment” in being depressed or having a problem. Why? Because it gives you an excuse. An excuse to be lazy, to rest, and to not make something of yourself. It is no longer ”your fault” since you are depressed, which can be comforting. Because if you are totally well and happy, you have no real excuse to fail.

perfect timing Cole, I'm making a short film on mental health and have been so frustrated over the past few years on the romanticisation of depression and mental health as someone who's been through it bad and got out of it... thanks for making a whole video essay on this!

As a teenager, this video is a huge reality check for me. Thanks.

What I think a major reason for all of these teens faking these illnesses (from a teen perspective) is that so many of today’s teens really just get their actual personality traits and passions that they genuinely enjoy shoved down from society, I know they have the typical quotes like “no one understands me” or “my problems are mine to deal with” and I understand that, and that’s a totally normal part of adolescent growth, but the people of today’s world and the years before treated that as a bad thing, instead of telling the teens it’s a normal process and that they’re feelings and passions still matter, they get slandered for their mistakes and people treat it like their voice barely matters, instead of letting them learn from their mistakes in a healthy way, which I feel like is why so many of today’s teens turn to mental illnesses, because they feel like that’s the only way to get people to notice and value them, I’m not trying to put the blame on one group or justify my own age group, but teens are still humans, they’re at a very dangerous place between adulthood and childhood, and they still don’t fully grasp their emotions, but that’s not something they should be criticized for…, and just because a teen doesn’t have a kind of mental illness, doesn’t mean they don’t have their own problems.

This is why I love Kentaro Miura's Berserk. Unlike many stories that I'd watched and read over the years where suffering, apathy, violence and rage were glorified, Berserk has shown how ugly it can get when being consumed by one's inner darkness. The best moments of the story were always those where the main characters showed signs of healing and compassion. I can't recommend Berserk enough.

Very spot on. What annoys me the most is when people display (very often self-diagnosed) mental illnesses and disorders like badges of honor. A lot of people want to feel special, and there is a sort of competition for being the saddest, the sickest, the one with more quirks, and have a big collection of labels. And I think this behaviour helps no one.