Rory Gilmore: The Price of Perfection 

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Rory should have gone into a career in Academia. I think she would have been genuinely happy as a professor or a literary research assistant.

Many, many, MANY years ago I was applying to colleges and auditioning for theater programs. I remember going to the NYU audition and the woman who spoke to us said something so important: "Each of you is probably the star of your high school 's drama program. But now you're going up against other stars. The playing field is different in college." It wasn't said in a mean way, and I think it was an eye-opener for most of us. Rory was told that once, by Paris. And she panicked for a few hours, until she got back home and everyone reassured her she was all things great and wonderful and not to worry. So, no, it wasn't a surprise that she turned out the way she did.

Rory is what happens when you are always told how great you are when you're young and then when you get into the real world, criticism hits you like a truck. She reminds of kids in "gifted" programs at schools. None of the ones I went to school with have done much even though they were the "best and brightest".

I think the best way to put it is: as she got older, Rory became the exact person that Lorelai didn't want her to become: An entitled little brat who thinks she can use Richard and Emily to get away with anything. Everything lorelai was worried about when the show started ended up coming true by Season 5 God's, she's insufferable in season 6 🤦‍♂️

‘Rory is still following a plan for her life that she made when she was a teenager, that no longer serves her’ I just got read for filth!

Tbh, I sometimes can’t help but think that Mitchum’s “you don’t got it” speech is a test for a lot of his interns. If his interns don’t meet the criteria he holds them up to, he tells them this little speech to either motivate them to do better or find a field better suited for them. To me, Mitchum seems like a down to earth asshole. He knows he’s privileged, he acknowledges it and even admits when he uses it to his advantage (like offering Rory an internship to apologize for his family’s behaviour) so he seems like an honest man. He’s not an asshole for the sake of it. Which is why I believe the above

Mitchum actually made a really astute point over Rory not being cut out for journalism, since she does really unprofessional things, such as fail to prepare for an interview, and fall asleep while interviewing a subject.

rory ignored the fact that emily and richard abused lorelai, just like how lorelai ignored that richard's mom abused emily.

I’ve started to see the whole series as a cautionary tale about privilege. As much as Lorelei rejected her own privilege, she still held onto the idea that the “best” for your kid was an elite education. She says in the first or second episode of the series that it was her dream for Rory to go to Harvard because she didn’t get that chance. That idea, spawned from her own privileged upbringing, forced Rory into a world of entitlement (her grandparents’ world). She was never allowed to be content in her small town, middle class life because “it wasn’t enough”. She always had that expectation to be more than her mother looming over her. And when she couldn’t reach those goals, she’d self destructed.

As rude as Logans dad was, he had a point. She's not tough enough to be the investigative journalist that she dreamed of being. She was in college she still had time to change her major

I always empathize with Rory. I went to a nice high school just because I got a scholarship. Everyone always told me I was "the perfect daughter". Then in uni, everything came crashing down. I went to a nice uni through a scholarship and it was the moment I realized I'm not the only person with a high IQ. And the paradox is that I acted as 20-something years old my whole life but in that moment of my life, I started acting like an emotional teenager. The fact that that happened to Rori too, and the fact that I couldn't pass exams as easily as in high school hit me. I had "the luck" of not having anyone rich in my family who could sustain not doing anything for months, so I had to get over it and my life ended up better than hers in the finale

I always felt Richard and Emily pampered Rory a lot and did those things partly out of fear that she would cut them off the same as Lorelai did and they where desperate for that not to happen. I like that Rory made mistakes because that's part of life but I hated that she never seemed to learn from them or take responsibility and everyone around her like her mom did the same and blamed everyone but Rory for every mistake.

I disagree with something that feels like no one talks about. Rory is far from perfect from the beggining, and I don't know how so many people have missed it. If you pay attention you'll see. She always had a sense of entitlement, like when she got the first D of her life at Chilton, and flipped out that time they didn't let her take some other test because she was late after studying all night. Even her friendship with Lane is more about Rory than anything else. The way she had almost a sense of superiority on academic life, and people who deviated from that were not ambicious enough. She mostly disrespected any authority figure that challenged her views, ever since season one. The way Rory talks to her family, her mother especially, as if she's the family's standard of maturity and they should learn from her. All of Rory's boyfriends have always been on stand-by too. She thought of them as HER options; she flirted with/kissed Jess while dating Dean, slept with Dean even though he was married, went out with Jess and only told him she was dating when Logan showed up. Not to mention how much she cheated on poor Paul... I love her character, but she needs some tough love.

Here is why I actually like Rory (Character-wise, not necessarily as a person): I think the downfall that everyone talks about was inevitable, not necessarily only for the reason most people give (that she was spoiled as a child and never had any consequences), but also based on a writing perspective. The character of Rory in the beginning was perfect, she literally could do no wrong to everyone around her, I remember Luke even telling Lorelai once that Rory was like the angel on top of the Christmas Tree, she was put on a pedestal not only for the townsfolk, but also for the audience. The problem with this is, it was impossible for her to have any sort of character growth because she was already the "happy-ever-after-type person" that most characters become at the end of a show. There was no way for her to go but down. So the mistakes she made, which yes were a little over the top but still human, made her seem like this terrible person. But with a character like Paris for example, she started off as someone you were meant to hate and grow to love. If Paris would have done any of the things that makes Rory a 'bad person', no one would bat an eye or mention it, because we look for the way she has experienced growth over the course of the series, which was impossible for Rory to do.

When you mentioned how you thought Rory's downfall started with her knowing her grandparents I was shook, because I've seen this show numerous times over the years and always tried to pinpoint moments where Rory "started to go wrong" and it never occurred to me that her grandparents were that bad of an influence, but it's true. I think it's possible Rory could have grown up to be a very different person had she never met her grandparents and to an extent I think the entire lifestyle revolving around Ivy League schools and wealth did more harm than good. When you look at a character like Jess and how he turned out without all of that, I think it puts it into perspective a little more. It's tough because Lorelai was trying to do right by Rory getting her into Chilton and asking her parents for help but maybe it would have been better for her if she had had to work harder to achieve her dreams like Lorelai had to do, instead of basically having things handed to her.

Rory is a great example of "gifted kid syndrome" wherein she was very much so praised and put up on a pedestal in her childhood and teenage years, only to realize that things were not going to be the same in college. Seeing her become noticeably more entitled as the seasons progress only shows that she wasn't very prepared for "adult life" and that nothing will come as easily as it had before. It was realistic portrayal of everything concerning growing up and realizing you do have to work as hard as everyone else.

The fact that Rory was obsessed with Harvard but never even knew the bare minimum requirements to get in was always puzzling, especially considering that she went to all those fairs. It was weird that Paris freaked out that episode where the college admissions officers came in because she always seemed five steps ahead. For a school like Chilton, wouldn't they have had more recourses and college days dedicated to things like that? As for Mitchum, he wasn't wrong, but he had questionable motives about why he gave her that feedback in the first place, but Rory should've kept that in mind since she was certainly aware of that fact going INTO the internship.

I do think the writing of Rory was ultimately pretty realistic. It's not pleasant, but it's very realistic. Lots of gifted kids eventually hit the point of having to grapple with the fact that they actually aren't that special and that they will have to sometimes work for things. On top of that, Rory is universally beloved and praised in her growing up years and then, at a crucial time in her life, she is given access to immense privilege via her grandparents' wealth and connections. So, yeah, I find it very realistic that she wound up kind of spoiled and entitled. The way she was raised just kind of led her to feel like she should just get what she wanted, like she just deserved whatever she wanted. I wish we could have seen her growing past that in the revival, but....well, maybe that was ultimately realistic too.

Thank goodness every character is constantly telling the audience that Rory is smart, we'd never guess it based on her choices

Rory sleeping with Dean isn't as bad as a fact that she never realized it was bad and didn't have any real consequences. So she never grew into a better person and in the revival many years later she's behaving the same way.

no blame to rory for moving out of her grandparents' house. they started out friendly, but they were just trying to take control of her life and emily got more and more aggressive to her, and richard joined right in with trying to police rory's sex life. rory got a taste of how they treated lorelai.

Thank you for covering Rory, Serena! As Rory got older, she just became more entitled and spoilt. In the revival, she kept forgetting about her boyfriend Paul, using him as a crutch after she was floundering in her journalism career. It makes sense, as she was used to being coddled in her small town, and she just couldn't handle that other people were just as smart as she was. Plus, the "joke" about Paul was just mean spirited, not funny.

As an former journalism major I can tell from experience that Logan's dad was right, she was just didn't have what it takes to be a journalist nor she did have the intention to develop the necessary skills to become one. I loved Rory because my personality was similar to hers (overachiever, quiet, booklover kinda of girl) and I also was studying journalism in college and wanted to be an investigative journalist. Seeing her was like seeing myself in the mirror. Around the same time I was watching season 5 I also experimented a crisis because I just didn't feel like journalism was made for me, I lacked the necessary skills to succed in the media world and I recogniced some of these flaws in Rory too. In my case I was not an extrovert, I was not "metida" (in spanish is the person who finds a way to be involved in anything they want and even be part of it easily), my interview skills were bland and I was not ready to confront (or even argue) someone with questions. Being a journalist is more than just be good at writing and it's essential to know how to handle criticism, specially when all your work will be published to everyone to see if you are not already on tv exposing your skills as a journalist to the world. I think that Rory was lacking a lot of these essential skills and really didn't put a lot effort to develop them. If she really wanted to be a journalist, she would've work hard to prove Logan's dad how wrong he was. At the end of the series I saw her a little bit more motivated to change and follow that path, but that though was destroyed when I saw how she ended up in the reebot. PS: I changed my major to social communication (that focuses on social projects) and I couldn't be happier. What I love is not interviewing but helping people through creative campaigns and activities. I think that if Rory woul've try other subjects and majors, she would've find her true passion.

I was actually a bit surprised that Rory chose to become a journalist. Because she is quite shy and more of an introvert. I think that she would so much better as a librarian because she loves to read.

I dislike Rory for a whole host of reasons, but strangely enough the one time I feel she is the most relatable and I feel the most sorry for her is when she wants to drop out of Yale. In the scene where she's discussing it with Lorelai, she is clearly very lost and is starting to realise that her dream might not be her own, but one that her mother, grandparents and people around her have put on her. She's trying to work out what to do and wants to take a step back and see what else is out there. But instead of trying to listen to her and understand where she's coming from, Lorelai s angry and responds with criticism and "NO". This I think is maybe really Rory's downfall, the part where no one tries to help her out of a rut and a crisis of who she wants to be (which we've all been through) and instead continues to push her and doesn't give her space to think and find out who she really is.

Also with the intern situation, I’m sure she felt like she couldn’t speak out because she was literally an intern, which is often seen as less than a “real” employee. Especially back in the time this was set.

I think Rory was in the right to ask her grandparents to pay for university if her mother was too proud to. It really bothered me that they complained about not qualifying for financial aid because they didn’t *want* to ask her grandparents and Lorelai didn’t *want* Rory to get a loan (like everyone else has to!). They did not deserve financial aid over others that didn’t have those options. As someone who went to a school that held Oxford up as the end goal (like Chilton and Harvard) I also wish they had done one of two things about her decision to go to Yale: 1. Either had her interview at Harvard and fail the interview like lots of other intelligent people have done. 2. Spent a bit of time realising she only wanted to go to Harvard because her family / school / society had told her it was the end goal for someone smart and realised it wasn’t actually the best for her. They sort of danced around this with the pro-con list but I wished they delved into it a bit more.

Calling her a “child prodigy” is very generous, she was just book smart. I never understood when people said that

This video really helped me understand Marty’s role in the story! For a long time I never understood “the point” of their tiny relationship arc, but seeing her rejection of him/acceptance of Logan as symbolic of rejecting her upbringing and embracing her grandparent’s world totally makes sense and never occurred to me before.

I still have empathy for Rory because I saw a lot of me in her. I was a brilliant and very smart child and a good student, and my college carrer was good too until I had a painful break up, from that point I dropped the college and I started to make a lot of mistakes,I lost myself and now after 10 years I'm starting to recognize myself again and I have come back to college. So I can't be hard to Rory,we are humans even if we want always to be brilliant and perfect.

It always interested me that Rory wanted to be a journalist, but was very set on going to an Ivy League school, instead of schools that are well known for the journalism program. Yale didn't even have a journalism program until 2006 irl, when the show was nearly finished airing. loved the video. Most of my problems with Rory came about with the revival. I feel like the writers were writing like their was no time jump, and just carrying on with their plans after their last season without regard for how it would make the characters look to be in that place developmentally still. and ooff at the scene with Loralei yelling at Luke for the accident, it's the scene that makes me the most angry and disappointed with her. It's like she doesnt see Jess as a fellow child at all.

I actually think rory becoming a teacher would be by far the best option because she gets to teach kids how to have fun with school, if she was an English teacher I think it'd be amazing for her and the kids she always felt like someone who could show others how to make something more than just work but an activity, I think it would also give her some perspective and grow her as a character

Rory had a whole town telling her she was special and unique, and then she had access to mind bending amounts of money thanks to her grandparents. Look at Richards outrage at her getting community service for stealing the boat- he thought she was above punishment. She was so bizarrely written at times too- she goes from underdog to shining star in no time- she's practically in charge of the community service team- telling them what to do like she is somehow set apart from others and then she's acting like an old hand at the newspaper....it's then written so that the people who are realistic with her are the villains. Mitchum was correct she'd make a good assistant but not a journalist, she doesn't have what it takes.

For me, Rory was too stunted and sheltered, and never had to deal with hardships so once she finally hit walls, she spirals. I didn't get to really make friends when I was younger once I had freedom I spiraled myself for a while there, before getting on track better.

I agree what you said that Mitchum line could be sexist but I still think that Rory wasn't meant to be a jornalist: she wrote that the bailarina was fat because Doyle wanted to her be harsh, she had that "rock fan" vibe when she was with Lane, she was a pop culture fan near of Lorelai, etc she doesn't have a true personality or a opinion, when she does, she ends up hurting someone doing a terrible comment or being a hypocrite, she doesn't have a good critical opinion for example her article talking about rich people not realising that she is one of them just because she lived in a small town is terrible.

Rory’s downfall reflects what you see a lot in higher education - people who were hard workers/effective learners in a classroom situation who are good at passing exams suddenly realise that they have no independent thought. No creativity. No drive (other than passing an exam and coming top of the class). They often burnout before they graduate. A lot of the folks I encountered during my masters and doctorate degrees were late bloomers. They did ok at school (pre-18) but really soared when they could control their own learning and pursue their passion. Whether the writers intended to show this in the show… or just descended into melodrama is open to discussion lol.

To be fair, Mitchum was absolutely correct. When you're in a situation where there's a topic open to the floor and everyone keeps glancing at you, you SPEAK up! the fact that she just kept grinning like no thoughts heads empty. Rory was always proved to be a writer, not a journalist.

Of all the Rory videos I've ever seen: no one has mentioned Marty. Thank you. Season 1 Rory would've fallen for him immediately. Marty was definitely painted as a "nice guy" by the end, which is a bummer because he's way more than that. But I believe he could've been a genuinely healthy fit for her.

My theory is that the revival was written to be the actual final season in 2006, but since Amy and Dan had left the show, no one knew the original ending season. So Amy took this original ending and tweeked some things to update it, but there are still remnants of the original 2006 script all over: that blogging/internet media hasn't occurred to Rory yet (this would have been new in 2006). The references to There will be Blood are dated in the late 20teens. And the final scene has a completely different implication when it's a 22 year old girl who just graduated from yale rather than a 32 year old woman who can't get her life together. And the men in the triangle would also be facing greater implications if they were also in their early 20s. There are themes of identity, struggle, etc, themes that befit a twenty-something much better than a thirty-something.

I always think a major moment is when Rory and Jess are studying and then take off in the car for ice cream in "cones" but get in an accident and Rory's wrist is broken. EVERYONE (town, Lorelei, Christopher, grandparents, etc.) act like Rory is an innocent lamb who almost died and Jess is the evil James Dean character. Jess is just as much a kid as Rory is, they are dumb and young and crushing on each other. She even insists that she wanted to ride in the car but everyone (except Luke) tells her that Jess is the only one who did something bad and she was just manipulated by him. That taught her a lot. 1-her reputation and persona can cover her actions (she is THE exception); 2-even when she tells the truth, she is not listened to and does not have to take responsibility when it contradicts others' ideas about her. Although Lorelei acts like she is not the conventional woman that Emily is, she treats Rory like an unthinking "damsel in distress" swayed by the "bad boy." Lorelei also immediately turns on Luke and runs to Christopher, modeling that when your friend/love interest disagrees with you, you drop them for someone who will tell you what you want to hear. Lorelei also reserves getting angry at Rory when Rory hurts Lorelei's ego---the money or persona, but in many actions against other people, Lorelei reaffirms their "special" status.

I’m glad you mentioned her skipping Lorelai’s graduation! That’s one that people don’t seem to mention, but it was so incredibly selfish of her and was an early sign of how that trait would only develop. And yes, I fully agree the revival was such a disappointment. I also absolutely agree with you about Logan.

The moment I started disliking Rory was, I think still in the first season, when Dean told her he loved her and she broke up with him for it and the whole town was upset with Dean, making him out to be the bad guy because precious Rory could never do wrong, and Rory just doesn´t say anything and let´s him suffer this misunderstanding!? Her selfish nature came out strong early on...

I think Rory being put on a pedestal all her life, she was doomed to repeat her mom’s cycles.

I felt so validated when you said you started disliking Rory in season 2 because that's where I started disliking her too. I never see anyone pointing out how she treated Dean, who until that point was a good boyfriend and generally a good guy, only because they don't like him for what he does in the future seasons. I remember feeling like crazy bc I texted to my friend "oh I feel so bad for Dean, what Rory is doing to him isn't right" and he replied by saying "just wait, the guy is an asshole and deserves it" and I was like "NO HE DOESN'T??"

IMO we are all too harsh on Rory and not hard enough on Lorelai… She’s the example setting party in the show and she’s often allowed to behave very badly without being called out…

I really liked Logan, even though he had his own faults. He was the most hated of the love interest because of his privilege and background but he had a good head on his shoulders and was incredibly honest with her about his feelings. “Logan Loved Rory” is a great quote regarding his character.

Rory is a main character and she goes out into the world not realizing that in the world, she isn't. Also, Amy Sherman Palladino was taken off the series for season 7, so the revival basically ignores/retcons everything in season 7. Amy Sherman Palladino wanted the series to end with "Mom, I'm pregnant" and said that the theme song, "where you lead, I will follow" was foreshadowing for Rory essentially taking the same path as her mom.

Although we are frustrated, Rory is a realistic character and watching her story teaches us the lesson of entitlement

Rory never takes negative feedback as an opportunity to grow or develop. Any setback is a green light for her to immediately give up or ask someone else to take over the situation. She’s very passive

I never disliked Mitchum or thought he was rude. I’ve heard much harsher criticism, and Mitchum said everything he said in a completely respectful and professional manner.

Who Rory turned out to be is the product of bad parenting and bad family influences tbh, and while certainly as an adult she has to own her own choices, I think sometimes we don’t take into account enough about how our formative year influences really shapes us as people. When the foundation of you as a person is set on shaky grounds, things inevitably goes wrong. Rory is a very realistic representation of so many kids like her in real life.

I’m so glad you brought up that Richard was an enabler. A lot of people just ignore his part in the family structure that created Lorelei’s trauma.

My hot take is it's really not that big of a deal that Rory left school for a semester and lived with her grandparents. She needed to take a break and she was hurt. IDK I think it was smart to do before she wasted more money or time to a career she wasn't ready for.

I’d rather watch a show about Paris cause she was actually an interesting character and it would have been so much more interesting

Addressing the point of Rory blindly believing Logan's dad and quitting school: I am quite convinced that she secretly wanted to get out of there and used it as a way to rationalise her feelings, at least partially. There's also the whole thing about gifted chidren suddenly running out of the gift (and I have been there, in part quit school over it myself but since uni is free to attend where I live it wasn't nearly as heavy of a decision as for Rory) but she is so willing and ready to just agree with him that goes, in my opinion, past the possible respect of authority, that I really feel like it played into her cards. I really like Rory's character. Her decline feels incredibly realistic to me and I can relate on quite a few things she went through. The craving for attention and especially validation especially is something myself and many other 'gifted' children still fight with well into our twenties and beyond. I also appreciate that in spite of everything she had at her disposal, she ends up where she ends up; I can't really express it, but it feels fitting, and I have always liked shows that don't shy away from making one of the protags an objectively heavily imperfect person so I may be biased. It's incredibly refreshing. I don't think the writing is the issue; people are just not always rational. Their decisions don't always make sense. I think that one key factor that Rory is still missing even in her thirties is making peace with the fact that she is not exceptional. I have this feeling I can't back up with anything that her confidence is not really supported by anything. Like you said, she raised the bar- or had the bar raised- too high, but she refuses to lower it.

Can you talk about how her relationship with Paris and how it changed in her college years especially? I haven’t heard much about how terrible Rory ends up treating Paris

The creator/ lead writer for the show was ousted during season 6. How season 7 happened was never the intention for the show. It was supposed to be more like what happened in the revival. We were supposed to start seeing more parallels between Logan and Christopher, so when Rory finds out she’s pregnant during university, it would resemble what Lorelei went through. The cycle repeating was supposed to be bittersweet, because yes it’s hard to be a single mom and not what either of them planned, but the mother/daughter relationship that forms is priceless.

Haha I totally agree about Rory’s boys just appearing outta nowhere. The only thing is I’d say if there was a really pretty girl who got perfect grades, read hundreds of books and was incredibly determined, ambitious and also confident and had a lot of self respect at such a young age I can see why she stood out to a lot of guys. But yeah they were unrealistically cute.

As someone who spiralled out of their academic career in their early 20s: It's not easy to get out of a rut once you're in one, especially when there's depression involved. You usually don't seek out the help you need of your own volition, at least not for a while, bc you might not recognise it as a mental breakdown that requires professional help. Especially back in the day when this show was made mental health awareness really wasn't where it's at today. Nowadays I feel like I hear and read everywhere that therapy is the solution to every problem. You know what, it would be nice if everyone could get therapy when they need it. But a) not everyone has access to it and b) not everyone wants to admit that they need it, and back in the early 2000s the general idea of therapy wasn't as positive as it is today - just think about how Paris and her life coach were framed by the show. We even know that Rory didn't think she had a problem or needed any form of intervention: When she's back at Yale she is required to visit a counselor and at first denies that there's any reason for her to be there. I think watching the show through a 2023 lense is important. I grew up with this show and rewatching it today I realise the problems it had that I didn't recognise as a kid (the privilege etc.). However, I do think that perhaps younger audiences who got into the show later on don't appreciate that many young ppl back then were struggling with severe mental issues without having words to describe them. Terms like "therapy" or "depression" aren't even used in the show at any point to describe Rory's situation by the ppl who love her, it didn't even cross their minds that maybe what she needs is some councelling. Instead she is viewed by Lorelai to have lost her work ethic, be laissez-faire etc. when in actuality she literally couldn't take the pressure anymore of continuing school due to burnout of trying to please everyone around her and meet the high expectations they had of her. The thing with Mitchum Hunzberger was just what tipped it. I think Rory had been burning herself out all along and finally cracked. Also taking into account that she felt like Mitchum was actually starting to like her and she was impressing him at her job just to get shot down like that - I thought it was realistic that she would think he's just being candid and not just a huge a**hole and that she was hearing the truth about herself. Being told by her mother, her grandparents etc. who don't work in journalism that she is so good at it wouldn't make as big an impact as the opinion of an actual journalism tycoon. Journsalism was her only goal for most of her life. It's not like she would realistically just bounce back and be like "yeah ok, guess I could try sth else". I for one understand her and don't dislike her for it. I admire the younger generations for their general outspokeness and mental health awareness. I'm gonna out myself as a millenial now and say that it really wasn't that like that back when my generation was at school. Depression wasn't a widely recognised thing, at least not on the scale it is today. It took me personally over 15 years to realise that I had been suffering from it since I was around 10 years old. Going through life with it without having it recognised early by my parents and treated led to many other mental problems I face now like (social) anxiety and also repeated burnout bc I kept ignoring my mental condition - being mindful of it wasn't sth I had been taught. Unfortunately this seems to be a common experience many millenials have. The only ppl I knew back then who were in therapy were those who had been harming themselves and the parents noticed. Otherwise good luck - you were pretty much on your own. #CompassionForRory

Rory should have taken over Richards business. She was shown multiple times being a good manager and being able to handle stressful situations. She should of changed her major.

12:45 I think this is a great example of Lorelai stepping out of her "best friend' mode to her more "mom" role and STILL being disrespected and just outright ignored by Rory. So many people keep saying that Lorelai failed Rory as a parent, but Lorelai was NOT at fault for many of the mistakes that Rory had agency in deciding to make. Lorelai almost ALWAYS called her out on it, or at least pointed out that what she was doing was wrong, selfish, and self-centered. But tell me how many times that Rory actually ever listened to her mom, or even took into consideration what her mom was trying to tell her. Rory's mistakes are almost exclusively the result of her own implicit behavior and outlook, only exacerbated by the privilege granted to her by having rich grandparents who don't hesitate to coddle and spoil her and the town always seeing her as some golden child. Overall, I think it was a great analysis! However, I personally do struggle to resonate with Rory quite a bit. I have sympathy for her but it is hard to be very understanding or forgiving of her behavior when she's had so long to reflect on herself throughout the series.

Rory definitely made the right choice between Marty and Logan (but the wrong one about marrying him!) I would have loved if she realized she could be married and successful in her career (or let go of the career if she wasn’t passionate about it anymore!) and ended up with Logan in the revival, the ending they gave was so uninspired. 💔

I feel like working her way up as an editor for a well established publishing company was far more complementary to Rory's personality than journalism. She didn't have the tenacity, grit, and hard edge for it. She grew up far too pampered to be willing to go to war torn countries, giant, intense political rallies, and anything that was beyond being in an office.

The biggest problem with Rory was thinking she was beyond error. She was so sure doing everything by the book, in her studies, friendships, romantic relationships and personal experiences in general that she forgot, in fact never even learned, that in life who dares wins. You have to try, experience and make mistakes in order to know a little of this world (and still no one knows anything). She thought during the ENTIRE show that just bc she did everything right and was a good girl she was going to get her dream life when reality is so harsh no matter what kind of person you are. In real life you may be an angel you are still gonna get important things ruined and important things will taken away from you. To thrive you have to be brave, ambitious and tough skinned and rory failed in all of that, she didn´t have the slightest glance of grit.

I would disagree with the point of Rory being manipulated by Dean and him leading something on maritally. Rory knew that Lindsey didn’t want Dean talking to her and therefore their interactions were obviously in secret. Also Rory knew Dean was still living with Lindsey. They were absolutely not separated or even seperating. You don’t get to sleep with somebody’s husband just because you disagree with the dynamics of their relationship and they’re arguing. She also wrote in her letter to Dean that she didn’t feel bad about what happened between them which was disgusting in my opinion. She has such a possessiveness over Dean. Deans marriage was doomed to fail regardless tho because he married Lindsey knowing how he still felt for Rory. My heart broke for Lindsey.

It’s hard bc man, I miss the first season Rory. She wasn’t perfect but she seemed to have some sense of responsibility and kindness. It was very hard to see that go away throughout the show. Then the revival was like a slap in the face. She needed to have consequences that were not just a slap on the wrist. The writing totally fell apart and it made the character more of a cautionary tale than anything.

Ok some thoughts from a psychology point of view. Mainly about Attachment style- the main thing that I think is never fully addressed is her relationship with her father. She is unable to fully form healthy relationships with men because she never felt loved by her own dad and felt like every guy was going to abandon her. She has the markings of an Anxious attachment style meaning her relationships become her whole world and she becomes self sacrificial but also believed she is owed something because of that and overcompensates from her high self esteem. This is also likely developed because of her mum which as you said she was forced to be her mum's bestfriend. She was parentified and her mum saw her as perfect till she did something that she disapporved of she was met with criticsim. Also parts where Lorelai gives her like the silent treatment when Rory disobeys her which like is so toxic and also denies therapy. Rory had to put her emotions on the backburner and anticiapte her mums reactions. Lorelai is better than her mum but is also toxic. No child should be as mature as rory is season 1-3, or be perfect. We also see evidence of her later "flaws" in season 1 when she gets a D and has a breakdown- works herself to the bone, misses the test and has a meltdown. In year 12 at alevel i got a D on an essay (now year 13) and it felt horrible as someone who is also a high achiever like Rory and was always expected to get A's. Like Rory was expected to be perfect but she was never perfect. also

Logan’s dad was honest in what he said to her. She was spoiled and she was used to winning. Rory didn’t like to hear it when she was wrong. She was implosive and sadly I saw everyone else around her grow and mature.

I think Rory is realistic The mistakes she did showed she was human

It honestly infuriated me when Rory turned down a high paying teaching job because “I don’t think teaching is my future”. Yeah okay but you still need money. You can still work a job you hate while trying to job hunt for a better one so you can SUPPORT YOURSELF. I agree with you. Rory’s downfall began as soon as she left her mothers world and was brought into her grandparents. Most of us learn from a young age we have to do things we don’t like for instance work crappy jobs, answer stupid interview questions, pull 18+ hour work weeks for support ourselves so we can achieve our goals and live comfortably. Hard work is something she should have learned in high school and collage. Most people spend their late teenage years and early twenties working non stop to earn money to live on their own. But Rory never had to do any of this because she has her grandparents wealth to fall back on. To Rory it’s always about what she wants and never what she needs to do. She doesn’t want to work hard or take a job that may not be the best but will act as an important stepping stone to build her career, but she NEEDS to so she can support herself. but she won’t do it because she had a safety net to fall back on (ie her family and all of stars hollow). I think the reason she is so hated is the fact that she just became so unrelatable. If we go back to season 1 despite having mega rich grandparents, she lived more or less like a normal person. She had normal problems like studying, boy trouble, daddy issues. And overall she lived a pretty normal life. While some things were dramatized like the town of stars hollow because it’s a TV show, she was always a grounded character. Until she stared living like a housewife without the husband and turned into a spoiled brat. I feel the show never acknowledged how unrealistic her life became in later seasons because most of us can’t relate to having maids waiting on us hand and foot, wearing designer cloths, and living in a mansion while we are jobless and dropped out of school.

It’s so interesting that the topic of psychotherapy came up in the series and it’s even more interesting to see how it’s portrayed and how they used to think about it (not so good/judgmental). Rory is at the end of a line of people with issues, who have never learned to communicate and treat other people properly. Rory didn’t fully learn that either (Lorelei told her to lie to dean about kissing Tristan). Lorelei was a letdown for her parents because they wanted her to be exactly the way they imagined. But with Rory it’s similar. They put her on this pedestal, constantly repeat the narrative that she was born to do great things, couldn’t fail, she was so admired and loved by everyone for who she supposedly was. There was not much room to explore who she really was and what she really wanted (when you look in the whole Harvard vs Yale topic and how Lorelei made it about herself in the beginning). And Lorelei didn’t even give her the space she asked for (and she was an adult at that time) when she wanted to take a break from uni. So Rory just wasn’t supposed to fail or just be the maybe more average person that she might was. But she was a little less of a rebel, more a people pleaser and didn’t gave up the relationship with her family. It’s more tricky and less obvious than with Lorelei. It’s harder to put the finger on why Rory 'ended' up that way and got so stuck. I think she was kind of trapped in all kinds of expectations too and the perfectionism, the this-way-and-no-other mindset broke a her. And yeah the whole father situation is also not helping..

Didn’t I’ve how the show handled therapy. Emily balked at the mere suggestion of Richard seeing a therapist before he left his job. Lorelai is flabbergasted when Rory has to speak to a therapist after leaving Yale for a year, and Rory is very hostile throughout the entire experience. The Year In the Life was a very half-assed attempt at therapy too. Lorelai and Emily didn’t actually learn anything about their relationship during sessions - the show could have really done something there and they didn’t.

I remember watching the show (seasons 1-3 specifically) as a young child and looking at Rory and thinking "ha, this is who I want to be!" However, watching the show 10 years later made me realize how flawed Rory actually is, even during her time at Chilton, when I still really love her. The problem was not that she had flaws, we all do, and she was still very much likable, the problem was that everyone painted her as a perfect angel, a golden child, that could do no wrong, so she never felt the need to improve. Everything came easy to her, even when it shouldn't have; for example, getting accepted into Harvard despite a serious lack of extracurriculars, or having a ton of guys show up on her doorstep although she lacks social skills. She never had to deal with failure or setbacks in her early teens, which made her really bad at facing criticism as an adult. If the show had made her face some hardships during the early seasons, and not painting her as "perfect" her character development would have been amazing.

The biggest critique I tend to have of this show, and Rory as a character, is the period of time between when she realizes being exactly like Emily is not for her and then when goes back to Yale. There is less than one episode between when she gets into an argument with Emily at the event she planned and when she is back in school continuing to study journalism. I never could understand why she didn’t take more time to actually THINK about her future. It’s like she sees life in black and white. To her she either has to be a single, strong, highly educated, award winning journalist or a rich, married, dumb, house wife who plans useless events. Why did she not try and examine other options? She could’ve changed her major, or joined a new club, or gotten a different part-time job. Why is it journalism or Emily Jr. and no in between? I also hate how Richard basically insults Emily during this time by insinuating that she is useless and stupid and then it never gets resolved. I just wish Rory had taken a minute to figure out what she actually WANTED out of life when she appears to have hit rock bottom. As you said, she continues down a path she thinks she has to take even if it might not be serving her anymore. Maybe if she had figured it out she would’ve been a lot happier when we saw her again in the revival. Then again, as sad as her fate is, I agree it’s very realistic writing and it’s nice to see that reality on television sometimes.

I’m watching Gilmore Girls for the first time so these videos and discussion are so serendipitous!!!!!! I think Rory’s problem and arc are that of the Millennial gifted child. Rory is the big fish in a small pond and is very confident, especially for one so young. When her self confidence is challenged then she shows her less then like-able behaviors. This first shows with Jess, he challenges her and she is smitten by it but also knocked off her axis. She gaslights Dean for a loooong time and misses her mother’s graduation. This goes into overdrive when she has her heart broken by Jess and goes to Yale. At Yale she is a nobody and men are no longer falling all over her. She is a small fish. She starts fixating on Dean and has the affair with him, with no care for Dean’s wife’s feelings until she sees it for herself and even then her guilt is more about her and how she feels (this is evident in her letter to Dean). This may be a very unpopular take, but I think what Mitchum says to Rory is 100% true about her at the time he says it. He is working in the reality of a tough industry and she, up to this point believes that if she does what “you’re supposed to” then you will be automatically rewarded. This is the first time she is seriously challenged. It breaks her down and when she eventually gets over it and picks herself up she really changes and starts to take more risks. She takes what Mitchum says as advice and rises above it. It’s very cool how I first got angry and saw her as unlikeable then as her story plays out it became evident that it was actually well done….a real character with a real arc. Haven’t seen the revival yet 🫤

I actually don’t like Rory or Lorelei. Emily is a horrible mother BUT Stars Hollow more than made up for what the Gilmores lacked. Lorelei and Rory both we’re very entitled spoiled and judgey. Lorelei is just as judgmental as her mother just not as vindictive and manipulative. But they (Lorelei and Rory) were adored by Stars Hollow. Think about how Luke treated them and catered to them throughout the series. Lorelei had no problem using Luke and ignoring the obvious fact that he had a crush on her.

This was the best Rory Gilmore analysis video that I have ever watched

I'm a bit late but awesome review! I wish Rory got an internship at stars hollow newspaper instead of going to uni and then she would've kept her small town self and been more wholesome. But the reflection on reality is why I love Gilmore girls so really I wouldn't change anything.

Since a bunch of these videos came up in my feed I was mulling over Rory, and kinda feel like there's a sprinkling of "Midwit" for Rory. (Not the best way to put it, but a stark enough point). That she's smart enough to succeed but not quite intelligent enough to know her limitations in life. Which is certainly on a different level of you're succeeding at Harvard...but she shouldn't have been competing at that level. If she'd gone to a regular high school and a middle of the road college, she'd probably have stayed in Stars Hollow and been very successful and accomplished in life. But getting in to the Ivy League requires those aspects that she didn't have. So yes, excellent examination of her!

just started the video but wanted to say: when i first watched the show i was 13y/o and i was really annoyed by her dropping out of yale- probably bc i was also a ‘golden child’ driven by academics and academic validation. Only when i rewatched the show while at uni that I understood rory wanting to take a break from school to figure out what she wanted but also to rediscover who she is.

I started re-watching the series and it's so interesting how much the first few episodes tell us how Rory is going to be disappointed later in life. The headmaster at Chilton literally says to her on her first day, "you'll either excel or you won't but failure is a part of life." We also see a lot of Lorelai putting her own wants/dreams onto Rory with the "it's our dream she goes to Harvard" Also as a Communications/Journalism major myself there are SO MANY avenues in media aside from reporting that you can do. You can edit, copyright, sell ads, broadcasting, design work. She probably would have done well in another avenue in journalism, so why wasn't she being educated on those opportunities.

You make lots of good points- It’s clear Rory is the darling of Stars Hollow and other than Lorelai moving there when she is pregnant with Rory and the town seeing her grow up no reason is given for why the town loves her so much. Endless comments are made about how beautiful and perfect she is etc etc and of course that would impact someone’s self image. However with the three boys situation - plenty of people meet at high school quite easily without trying. It’s once you leave high school that you really have to network to find new friends or love interests. I don’t think it’s unrealistic or evidence that Rory gets everything she wants without trying just because two boys in her town and one from her new school like her over her high school timeline.

Sucks Chad Michael Murray left after season 1 because I would had liked to seen his character Tristan evolve

I’m so excited that you’re doing Gilmore Girls videos!! I love PLL and that’s how I found your channel and those videos were always so fun to listen to. GG is my all time favorite so I’m looking forward to all of your videos and what you have to say.

I believe the reason so many things feel like they go backwards is because Amy Sherman-Palladino (the main writer) wasn’t there for S7. So when she got to doing the revival she made it pretty much ignoring everything that had been done in that final season. In a way, you could say the revival is her true S7, but with everyone being older.

We know that Mitchum was kinda right in the moment, too, because on the meeting, Rory did not jump in with any ideas or take it as an opportunity that she is there, she just observed others. She was unsure what was expected from her, but Mitchum was looking for willingness to take that risk to speak up, even if it is not necessarily her place. It takes huge bravery to do that, and I understand why Rory did not do it. I also think Mitchum was expecting too much of her. But from his point of view, she did not measure up to his expectations. Which, granted, were too high for a young girl.

I did think Lorelei over reacted about Yale, she could have let her take a break at home for a while to re-evaluate. In a way it was worse than Emily and Richard, they didn't abandon ship when she got pregnant, and Rory was only questioning her direction. Not the end of the world

Yes I agree, how else would Rory be? She had close family ties to some of the oldest generational wealth in the country but grew up in her and her moms house where her moms thing was she did it all on her own. So Rory had a strong single mother and somewhat humble beginnings (I mean the big and cute house in Connecticut is not as humble as it was portrayed in the show) but she was never and would never truly struggle

I’ve never even watched Gilmore girls and here I am again enjoying a second video about it 😂

Love love love that you are doing videos on the gilmore girls Serena I loved this show as a young kid/teen watched it with my friends after school but now that I'm a 28 year old adult woman rewatching it, it definitely hits different than how i remembered the show in my head keep up the great work looking forward to more videos 💗

I really didn't like that rory slept with dean while he was married to dean I really feel bad for Lindsey because she loved dean so much and wanted her marriage to work

I've never hated Rory. I could understand her motives and the reasons for her desicions and mistakes.

Do you remember how when she was trying to fix everything after she dropped out of Yale, she was trying to get a job and practically harassed a guy at a newspaper of some sort, waited there every day until he agreed to interview her, she got accepted and we never heard of it again?

yes! the video i’ve been waiting on! please make this a series ! please

I actually blame Lorelei for Rory's downfall. Yes, her grandparents spoiled her. But what grandparents don't spoil their grandchildren? Lorelei, however, held all the power in raising Rory. Rory was the golden child of an entire town. It's just ridiculous. The fact that she was admitted to all the Ivy League schools doesn't make sense either. Paris is truly the special one (very hyper, yes) who adapted quickly to her family losing all their money. She's the one who has grit.

So stoked for this!! Was just taking notes on this subject for a podcast

I like your analysis but feel like an important point was left out: no matter how good of a friendship Rory and Loralie had or how positive they made their memories, there is a lot of trauma there. Yes, Loralie did her best but she’s clearly more friend than mom. As cliche as it may be, kids need a parent instead of a friend they may feel they also are responsible for. I see this as a great example of parentification. Rory’s story arc is very personal to me because, even though it’s not a direct parallel (sadly, no rich relatives to fall back on, not an only child), I also responded to my trauma associated with parentification through perfectionism. I was that amazing student that everyone believed would end up doing something incredible. I worked so hard for a single, very specific career with no backups and was, ultimately, told I might not be cut out for it. That destroyed me and sent me into a spiral. I had a big falling out with my parents and cut one off. I’m currently working on being comfortable with my “failure” and rewrite my path. Point is, while it’s frustrating to see the mistakes she makes, Rory is a very real example of the evolution of a “gifted” kid, a “very mature for their age” kid. A kid who tried so hard to control their story that then can’t cope with the reality that life is uncontrollable.

She masks her issues with perfectionism in school and work. Then does impulsive things in her love life because shes actually dysregulated and doesn't address it. I think both cause each other. she's socially dysregulated so she chooses control in career progression. but then becomes burnt out and is impulsive.

Growing up, the only pressure I felt was my mother's who had unrealistic expectations of me graduating in no time at all whilst working 2 jobs (1 full time and one part-time I managed to get) and also buying a house before 30 with no savings (and no help from her or my father). All the while providing for her economically. Suffice it to say, I struggled to graduate and only when I managed to move out by finding a supporting partner I realized how toxic and ungrateful my parents were and the weight of their expectations. These expectations never came with praise or compliments, though, just relentless guilt tripping and discouragement / criticism. Maybe that's why I find characters like Rory so unrelatable: her mom made it all possible for her to attend a great high school and an Ivy League, even reconnecting with her estranged parents and submitting to their pressure. All the while showering her with care, attention and encouragement. The moment when Rory just could not "hack it" and had to grind down and admit she wasn't that great in terms of capabilities was just too much and she resorted to blame shifting.