Yeah, and the fact that his laugh is so obviously fake and not genuine doesn't help... Don't get me wrong though, I really, really enjoy watching their videos.
He assumed the worst your not alone on that bruh someone called me and my friend lesbians and threw garbage at me her and are both straight ( into dudes ) best friends and co workers
Best insult I’ve ever heard was my suitemate sophomore year talking about his roommate. He said “all he watches is 80s sci fi and adventure movies and all he listens to is AC/DC and movie soundtracks. He’s such a Walmart brand human.” I’ve stolen that insult from him many times.
+Der Coreminister I don't quite understand what is insulting about it either, and I'm American. The only thing I can guess is that since Wal-Mart sells a little of everything (you can get food, clothes, toys, electronics, make-up, et cetera) they are saying that based off the person's interests they are unoriginal or something... I really don't know either.
I am a very, very picky eater. So this one time, I was at my friend's house and his granny gave me a food I don't eat. Very upset, she proceed to yell, "Even goats are healthier than you!"
Someone seriously needs to pick through all the DickeyDines videos and make a compilation of all the times Austin has made Jared nearly die of laughter. I wouldn't be surprised if it were an hour long vid!
I'm sorry...are you okay? I'm available if you need someone to talk to...ik that sounds sus as fuck but I mean it bro...it hurts...I'm here for ya if you need anything...like...honest
I was with my SO. We had the song "Breaking the Law" stuck in our heads so when we saw a dude speed walk a red light on a busy street we jokingly sang the chorus of the song. The dude thought we were making fun of him directly and said, "Yeah. Well. My I.Q. is higher than yours!"
Once I stopped going to church and became a "real atheist", my friends parents told me that I was no longer welcome on their property. So, there's that.
Unfortunately religious people tend to get to... Absorbed by their religion that it ends up running there lives. I have a hard time believing there's a god when amazing people like Karl Stefan has to suffer.
@@MotivGuy94 lol nice memeage. But, thank you for acknowledging that. Like, since I've been a true atheist, life has been great! I live by the golden rule. "Treat others how you want to be treated." But, apparently, to some people, that doesn't exist.
@@sirzack0002 Because the way I feel about religion is I believe that there is a God but not in the way that The Bible interprets it like I believe that there Is a superior being out there
A couple of years ago my wife and I were going to the store and we hade her moms dog with us. It was hot outside and we thought it would be cruel to leave the dog by him self, so I waited ourtside with him. I sat on the ground and was looking on my phone next to the exit. This older lady comes out, I look up thinking it might be my wife, it wasn't so I look down again. She walks up top me and extends her closed hand towards me, not saying a word, I see that she is clearly giving me something. In confusion i extends my hand to her. She gives me 5 swedish kronor (about 5 US cents) and leaves. I looked at the coin for about half a minute strait. I did not know if I was supposed to be glad or upset. I still don't.
When i was in hospital 4 months ago i had pnemounia on a crazy level. It got so bad i couldnt Walk and breath for a couple weeks and i couldnt eat either so i went down on anorexia level. Then i heard a doctor say ”is that a skeleton?”. It hurt My soul...
"Excuse me" "There is no excuse for you" -Mom, 2014 She was joking but damn😂 Edit: Holy shit thanks for the likes and shout out to my mom for her savagery🤘
Some lady in Walmart told me I'm going to hell for having tattoos. Never talked to her before in my life, I asked her to save me a seat, she walked away looking all pissed
So, recently, I had THE NICEST customer ever🙄🙄🙄… I have eczema (which is dry skin, for those that don’t know jic) and I work at a grocery store. So my eczema tends to “flare up” sometimes like it looks all red and raw and just downright disgusting to look at. So at work, I was bagging and I had about a half an hour before the end of my shift, and my eczema was flaring up BADLY! This older gentleman comes through my line and asked me what was on my arms. The eczema was also on my neck & face; and even ALL OVER my upper body & it looked like I got a really bad sunburn. But anyways; the man asked what was on my arms. I told him it was eczema. He asked what that was, and I said it was a genetic dry skin disorder and he LITERALLY said to me “Don’t bag my groceries! I don’t want you touching my stuff. If you touch anything, I will go to your manager and have you fired!” One of the assistant managers Janine walked over to come bag for me and tried to explain to him what it was and she told him that she had it also on her hands. He told HER not to touch his stuff as well. So Janine closed down the register next to me and asked the cashier if she could bag for me. The cashier Amanda said that she had it also, and the guy said “Fuck it! I’ll bag it myself!” I went to walk up to the front and the guy went to grab a box and SHOVED me out of the way! I was PISSED! Luckily, I kept my cool and just let it go. Janine called the managers’ office and told the manager up there that the guy was really rude and put me on the spot like that. The manager Ron talked to the guy and told him that what he did was uncalled for. The thing that sucks is that the guy was AT LEAST in his seventies so you’d think that he’d been around long enough to know what eczema was, and been more understanding and not be such a dick about it. If I was him, I would’ve been nicer about it and politely asked myself (ironic) to please not bag my groceries just in case if it was contagious or not. When the guy went to leave, I walked over to him jokingly scratching my arm and said “Have a Nice Day!” with the BIGGEST smile on my face. He was not happy and neither was I. So yeah, #FUCKTHATGUY!!!
Wow that's terrible for the guy to assume shit like that very rude good idea to stay calm your eczema is definitely not contagious at all the guy could've been banned going to your co workers to help you and gotten both managers is the best thing to do
I once had a homeless man outside of my work ask me for money, I don’t keep cash on me so I said no and apologized. This dude had the audacity to call me broke.
The one insult that stood out the most was me being compared to a duck for an entire year back in primary school by everyone in my class, teachers included. All cos I decided to do a mocking sound effect of defeat when the teacher was handing out test results and one of the teachers nicknamed me Duckshaan. The joke went so far to people ACTUALLY comparing me to a duck from my mannerisms to my face. I was emotionally scarred the whole time. Cried a few times to. Pretty ridiculous. But it's the truth. 😞 P. S. Austin. Sending you hugs for that insult you got back then. Just cos I don't like seeing my KOMBUCHA BOI sad.
Dude i had the same thing in 8th grade, we had a school video to record, and during my lines the guy with the camera just kept whispering “troll” into the mic. It was before the whole internet-troll thing. So yeah, it caught on when the video was shown to the class, and I had the entire grade, including teachers, thinking it was funny to refer to me as “troll” literally until i left the school.
I've been called a lot of things, but the one that stuck was simply "Squirrely." Because I know the person who said it meant it for me, and it was inspired by me. Not like other insults that are text book and ordinary in comparison. It's easy to brush off the common ones. They don't take effort or inspiration and mean way less as a result.
I love the video it's probably one of my favorites! I love to rant though so... 3:37 to 4:34 I agree 100%. I'm a Christian and it really annoys me when some of the self-righteous assholes in our religion can't accept people when it's literally one of the biggest parts of the religion! I do my best to be good, forgiving, honorable and they call me the Godless hypocrite. Stop using a religion about equality to "make yourself better" than everyone. We're all sinners; embrace your brothers and sisters! And also metal is great... And I don't sound like a preacher when I speak typically. Rant over.
I liked the door stories cause I can relate so much cause I am that weird person that will wait to hold the door open even if your like 30 feet away lmao
R2D2 oh my god that's so awful the poor guy goes through so much and being called r2d2 and mouth open too that's something he can't control that I feel bad for the guy
"Are you thrush? 'Cause you're an irritating cunt." - me talking to my mom about good insults while we were in the car. She screamed with laughter so loud that people across the street were staring at the car. xD
I was adopted and raised in a Baptist pastors home, in 8th or 9th grade I was told by my Christian school teacher I wouldn't make it to 16. I was a bit of a trouble maker in the sense I was ratted out for drinking at a party in my tiny Kansas town and maybe caught with pot and condoms once or twice . Regardless not something you say to a 14 year old kid. I just turned 30 last week so take that Mrs Hinnman!
In elementary I had ears that stuck out a ton and I literally got bullied in the bus everyday by these same kids. I’ve since gotten corrective surgery and left that town.
Girl at my school wore a Metallica shirt. I saw this and was all "oh so you like Metallica?". She responded with "oh no I saw this at hot topic and liked the design". Ffs why
While going through chemo treatment I was still working my full-time job in a restaurant while delivering food to the table refused me to bring them food because they accused me of being ill and they didn’t want to get sick without even asking me why I was wearing a mask
Oh ya been like 6 years since then I’m all good lol but had to wear the mask to keep from getting sick myself they just assumed I was preventing others from getting sick
I saw one of my school's cheerleaders wear one. I doubt she listens to them but this was spirit week...on my birthday.....on Decades Day, so I allowed it. This was a couple weeks ago actually. I went as the 80s thrasher.....wearing an Iron Maiden shirt. Well ok at least i listened to nothing but 80s thrash all day, until after the parade anyway.
Jared: And they're the people that are like "Oooohh, you're wearing a shirt that says 'Metallica'" *looks down at my Master Of Puppets tee that I'm currently wearing* Nobody says stuff like that to me, though, lol.
17:37 I live in New York and every day at school when I hold the door for people it's like I'm just a doorstop and nobody acknowledges me 🤣 that's just how it is in New York
I was listening to slipknot when riding my bike to school through a Bluetooth speaker and I stopped at a store to pick up a monster when some random lady came and told me I'm going to hell for listening to devil music so then I said ok see you there
When I was a kid, my step dad would frequently yell out the window of his car at people "Go on a diet, fatty!" and other things along those lines, as well as encouraging me to do the same. These were just typical occurances for me as a 9 year old boy.
That first class story has me laughing my ass off... something similar happened to me where a man tapped me on the shoulder and said "I think your in the wrong line" to which I responded "Oh, I'm sorry I thought this was the first class line, not the asshole line."
I remember in 7th grade, when my acne was very prominent, this kid who sat next to me asked "why do have like needles in your nose?" My blackheads were very dark at the time and I always had acne from a young age but it was 7th grade when acne was normal. My table mates all looked at him with shocked faces as he just insulted the emo girl of the grade lol. If anything I was embarrassed over how visible they were.
A memorable one for me: I had a group of people following me around at lunch chanting, "Hail Satan " which actually was pretty funny, but I was trying to read, so I was a little irritated.
In my junior year of HS I left my jacket in a previous class and asked the teacher if I could get it. I had to run from the other side of the school and back, and bear in mind I have asthma and have other physical problems. By the time I got halfway through back to the class I was already wheezing. When I got back I couldn't breathe and felt like I was going to vomit. I asked for a drink of water and the teacher not only refused to let me have water, but also scolded me for my physical form in front of the whole classroom.
What an asshole. You should've called your parents and handed the principle a doctor report and claim that you could've died or someshit to get that fucker fired.
Had an older lady I used to work with call me "decent" and I have no idea why but it was the most insulted I've ever been and I was bullied my whole life
I'm glad you know about Oreos being vegan hahaha. Also, just because a company also makes non vegan products isn't a reason to boycott them. The grocery store sells non vegan products, should we boycott the grocery store? Just wanted to clarify that with Austin. Thanks for all the funny videos guys :) also, I would hold the door open for you guys hahaha.
6:00 That guy who didn't think you could possibly have been in first class...when you got on the plane, you coulda leaned across the aisle and asked him, "Pardon me, would you any Grey Poupon?"
Im christian but im very strait forward about it: God: "Im bored, BOOM! UNIVERSE!" The end. I dont think he answers all prayers watches you every second, but he is aware of all presence. "yOuLl cOmE bAcK tO gOd SoMeDaY" like get that sheet outta here.
"Ive once held open a door for an entire movie theater of people" omfg ive done this shit too. i was also raised to hold open the door for people and ive been caught in this "trap" of holding the door open for my family/friends and then the huge ass wave of people come pouring through the door and the people im with are trying to leave and im stuck there holding the door cause i dont just wanna let it close lol
I was sitting at my lunch table in high school with my friends and a couple of random guys that never sat there before were sitting a couple of seats over for some reason. My friends and I were talking about what characters we look like and one of those guys just randomly says "You look like an uncircumcised penis" to me for some reason.
Was walking my dog one day through the adjacent neighborhood that’s very upper end and posh. Dogs, as they all do, take craps where they please and there’s no stopping it once it starts. So, I’m walking along and my 90 lbs. pitbull takes a pretty gnarly dump on someone’s lawn. The grass was so tall that it was nearly impossible to pick up her poop completely, so I did the best I could and got the majority of it. Five minutes later I was just about to exit the neighborhood; the entire time hearing screeching wheels and brakes all over the place to the point where I couldn’t understand what the hell was happening. Just as I’m exiting this random lady’s screeching voice yelled at me from behind, “ did your dog just poop on my lawn?” I, at first, wasn’t even sure what to say. How miserable a person must you have to be to go and speed around your neighborhood in a mini-van to try and find someone who’s dog took a crap on your lawn? That aside, I replied “I can’t be sure it was your lawn, but my dog did relieve herself and I did my best to clean it up”. To this she was like, “well you better do a better fucking job next time cause my dogs will run through that and then track it inside….etc” and it just kept going. Finally, realizing this is how she was with everyone, I decided to take off my shirt (been body building for a while and decided this probably was the best way to scare someone off) and walked right up to the window and was like, “K I’m not doing anything illegal and your screaming at someone for their dog’s crap like a three year old parked in the middle of the street in a minivan. If you want to handle this then step out of the car and we’ll handle it”. Peeled out like the world was ending and that was that. Just ridiculous.
I broke my leg and had it in a cast and I was in a wheel chair my mother and I were at the stor and a little girl said what is wrong with him and her mom said. Stay away from that cripple
Someone once leaned out of a window while I was longboarding in DC and screamed at me “move out the road you fucking asthma attack” That shit floored me
There were these 2 boys in my class that once they found out I had chihuahuas, they would always say to me; "I'm going to kill your dogs" "I'm going to throw them on the BBQ" and shit like that. Like, wtf??
2: "You know no one in this class likes you right?" A girl said to me in senior year of school. After I had already moved school districts because of stuff like that lol that one stuck with me even though it only happened like 1 or 2 years ago These were the same girls that made a joke out of this kids fallout shirt after a bomb threat posted a picture of it on Twitter and it went viral...it was not a good day for him we ended up having to leave the classroom because of that 2nd one: "you guys are idiots" after we gave a man the sandwich he ordered because apparently it was supposed to be something else. Also there was an autistic girl at the register so I'm sure that will stick with her. It's because of this job I don't like old people until proven innocent now haha
Im so glad I graduated from school as i heard shit like that on a daily basis to me or others, its all just a big joke. The teachers and the students who go their. Hope you're out soon, trust me. School is literally hell but once its over you will love life
@@grant9005 oh I'm out now been graduated about a year now and yeah definitely more happy. This happened senior year too which is the worst part. So at that point I was just like ok lol
Well in 9th grade I remember I was called a school shooter for at least the first half of the year simply because I listen to metal, even though I should every reason that says otherwise. One joke got me out of the school fast, and not in the way I would've liked either. It persisted on and off again into my 10th grade year, even though it was at a different school, though it's mostly because there are people at my current school who have friends there. I haven't heard anything during my Junior year though.
Two kids on a playground called me fat repeatedly and attacked me with rotting pieces of fruit that was on the ground. They were both very young and didn't really phase me all that much but somehow my resilience inspired several other small kids to attack them... I walked away in the confusion
Anyone who says they are a Christian and said crap like than isn’t a really Christian and definitely hasnt actually read the bible 😂 everyone is awesome, love everyone and at the end of the day your life your choices! I believe in God you believe what you want but let’s rock out together to sick metal! 🤘🏻🤘🏻
Not really an insult, but most people in high school called me Jesus, just cuz of my long hair and beard. My friends however, took it to the insult stage, and my nickname has thusly been Fat Jesus. Though to be honest, I really like it. Thinking of getting a trademark.
