timestamps i realized theres a little mistake in the visuals but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh womp womp "Just Take My Wallet" by Jack Stauber - 0:00 to 1:19 "A1 - It's just a burning memory." by The Caretaker - 1:20 to 4:52 "No Surprises" by Radiohead - 4:53 to 8:41 "Roslyn" by Bon Iver - 8:42 to 13:31 "Inside Out" by Duster - 13:32 to 15:52 "Spaces in between." from OMORI - 15:53 to 16:52 "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" by The Smiths - 16:53 to 20:57 "It Almost Worked" by TV Girl - 20:58 to 23:31 "Francis Forever" by Mitski - 23:32 to 25:59 "Watching Him Fade Away" by Mac DeMarco - 26:00 to 28:23 "Drift Away Omnichord" by Trillian - 28:24 to end
"my child is the brightest being alive!" ma'am, your child is looking in the mirror with dead eyes, not blinking as she listens to these songs wondering what happened in her childhood to make her so dead inside.
Why do I feel this way? What is this numbing pain, that won’t go away. How far can I go before I can’t turn back, How far can I go before I crumble at last. What is this aching feeling, I can’t seem to shake. Why am I me?
Sometimes you wonder, how long will you have to keep this up? Trying to pick up the pieces and motivating yourself to keep going in million different ways, every time facing a new kind of sorrow, hollowness and dread. Was this your fault? Are you not good enough? Why is it that your efforts are never enough? No matter what you do, things just seem to never get better. But for now, let's rest in this brief break. We'll just be the good child. This will be over one day. Just don't you end it too soon, as long as you can make it through, you'll also be able to get your well deserved rest and it will be all better. It's cold, it's raining, you're exhausted, but you can't close your eyes just yet. Maybe if it's with you.. I'll be able to stay awake for a little bit longer.
Well, finally... finally I was able to find what I was looking for all this time... this is exactly the music that describes my condition and how hopeless I am... no one could give me this yet, thank you...
parents couldnt get any more understanding , elder siblings are all moving out , academics pressure is rising including peer pressure that couldnt get any worse , increasing stress , increasing work , increasing expectations of adults around me. everything is increasing , and yet my will to live doesnt seem to be increasing anyhow.
Sorry you are going through that. I can’t say I’ve lived long enough to fully experience this but my older brother moves out in 3 years and I’m scared. Academic pressure is such a huge issue and I wish I couldn’t relate and that you didn’t have to feel it either. Soon your will to live will (hopefully) rise up again and you will find the happiness and tranquility you deserve
Listening to this after playing in a concert bc I genuinely feel very upset that it’s all over and sad playlists hit different🥲 (even though I’m seeing the same people who played in the concert w me next week idc let me be Emo in peace💀)
I listened it when I was really down and now I'm wishing I was as miserable to listen to this! Even though I'm pretty neutral the playlist is still as good!
Just today my girlfriend broke up with me. We had spent 8 months together. I thought we would have a happy life together for years. In her letters she wrote to me that she would never leave me. For her, this long-distance relationship was tiring. She told me that when she was with me she felt embarrassed and when she sent me messages she felt an emptiness. Only in that moment I understood that her feelings of love for me were now over. A little while ago I put all the things she gave me (letters, gifts, stuffed animals) in a box; everything organised. I still love her. But now we're just normal "friends". I cried all the tears I had in my body and now I only feel tired (the kind of tired that sleep doesn't resolve). I'll never find one like her. Maybe I just deserve to die.
no dont say that you deserve to die. i also just went through a break up and yeah they suck ass. i thought we were perfect n all that. but sometimes stuff just doesnt work out. i know it hurts, especially when you still love the person, but know one day itll all work out how it should. good luck on the journey that is healing. sorry if this isnt much comfort im bad at advice lmao
No matter what u think people care about u I don't know u but I know u deserve a good life and if she broke up with u that means she wasn't good enough for u ur 10 steps ahead might not sound like alot but it is I care about u and u deserve to live and grow not caring how many more steps u go up or down people care about u
Same situation here. It hurts man... The hope that there can be a bright future again keeps me going... but I understand how it feels when the only future you envisioned left you.
uhhh, TW vent and $h ! I'm fed up with my life, I just want to die in peace without anyone knowing. Not long ago, I self-harmed in the school bathroom, but my friends realized it and went to tell an adult. The firefighters arrived to take me to the hospital and they parked in the yard so everyone knew what I had done. I was ashamed, anyway. I still self-harm. Today my 4 friends sent me a video of them hanging out together... it made me so jealous. I think I'll try to stay alone... as they say, it's better to be alone than in bad company. My parents always yell at me because of bad grades and I have sort of hallucinations as if I see weird faces everywhere and that there is always someone weird next to me... I think Talk to my psychologist about it but I'm not sure, I'm afraid she'll think I'm crazy. In short, I can't sleep anymore with the hallucinations and college is too much for me. I think if I keep it all to myself, I'll explode, become mean to everyone and cold. Actually, it’s already like that haha. It's like I'm in a bubble all the time where no one can bother me. I don't care what people say haha. I just want to run away, to leave... to do something but I can't stay here any longer. i don't care if you don't read uh. just... take care of you guys love you :)
I remember walking in and knowing what they were going to say. I thought I prepared my self for what they were going to say. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the hatred and pain that consumed me when I heard her say it. "We're going to put them down." "I know." "What?" "I knew you were going to put them down" Tears falling down my face- gritting my teeth and holding back screams. "I'm sorry." "Why are you crying?" I couldn't hold it back. I just started laughing. I think I had accidentally hit my head on the wall when they asked me that. The painful laughs. Was it my body trying to smile? Trying to make me seem less upset? "you just told me you were going to **kill** my dogs and you're asking me what's wrong?! Why I'm crying?? Why wouldn't I cry?!" "I'm sorry." I left the room. "I don't know if she will forgive me" How did I forgive her? Just because I fought hard enough to keep them? Those words hurt so bad. They were so... painful. "We're going to put them down." How could any kid forgive someone for telling them that.
i get bullied everyday and i cry all day long and i overthink too much everyone hates me i did do something wrong but i said sorry and now nobody likes me it was so small and i cry myself to sleep
Well dear, I am not the best at this kind of advice but to one person to another Please remind yourself there is a light at the end of the tunnel Another thing I have heard is to try and find something beautiful each hour I wish everything will be ok ( sorry if those words feel empty) I will try my best to be here if you need to vent or need some support You are a lovely soul dear
"When do you think about others? How long are you going to let people take care of you? You say you care but you're a liar. You've never done anything for anyone else. You're useless... less than useless. You're sick."
Small little rant while I’m here I think I just agreed to go on a date. I’m grey-aroace, and it’s REALLY hard for me to tell if I genuinely like the dude, or if I like the idea of finally liking someone romantically. I’m not sure I do like him romantically. And as a gay kid, it makes it a lot harder on top of everything else. Anyways we’ll see I guess
“Oh my little girl is so great she never acts up and is so obedient, if only she wasn’t so bossy to her siblings.” It’s funny how parents can say that with a straight face knowing they left their kids to play mom or dad for 9 hours at a time right after school so they could hang out a lake or the club. Mom… you call me bossy but it’s not my fault I had to take the role of being the mom of your 3 sons. You question why I am uncomfortable when you make sure I’m not doing chores or why I’m always protective of my brothers. It’s because I don’t want them to deal with the shit you put me through. You treated me like nothing but expected everything A six year old shouldn’t be cooking meals for 2 siblings and have to calm down their younger brother because he misses mommy.
My father was abusive to my mom so she moved out and divorced him when I was a baby she had to move in with her abusive mother and stepfather when I was a baby we just moved out this week we now life with my idiot step dad and creepy step bro I just want her to be happy my step dads nice but he had to much trauma to be able to handle emotions well and same with my mom
@@yourlocalAilur kinda bad bro, I just feel like there is so much pressure on my shoulder, everyone expects for me to be able to become great like my brother and my friends, but I just don't know if I can do it, I'm not sure that even if I try my hardest I'll be able to be as good as them, and I just get filled with so much hopelessnes and fear of what the future will have for me, I feel as if my life could fall apart at litterally any moment and I just don't know what I can do to stop it,no matter what I do, it just feels like things are snowballing out of control and eventually I won't be able to catch up, I have barely been scraping by for the last few years, and even on the classes that im supposed to do im starting to get worse, I hate this feeling, this feeling of pure horror, it just feels like I am getting forcibly dragged down by some invisible force, I fear I will lose everything, my dad's respect for me, my mom's love, my friends, just, everything. I just feel confused scared and alone as my grasp over my own life begins to slip, I imagine how my life will be begin to enter a downwards slope as I begin to lose everything I ever held dearly onto while I am forced to live with this, live like this, like an useless and stupid brat, I will be forced to look at my dad and mom everyday, I will be forced to look at their faces filled with pure disappointment as they question where THEY went wrong, what they could have done differently, but I myself don't even know the answer to this, they did everything right, they loved me, they supported me, they helped me when I needed them to, yet It still feels like I will still fail somehow for some reason, I am just always so confused, I feel like I just can't pay attention no matter how hard I try, and ir hurts, it hurts knowing that I will probably dissapoint everyone, and it will all be my fault, because I was just unable to pay attention for some reason, I was unable to be as smart as my friends, as my brother, and as my Mother and father, and even my grandparents, I will be the biggest disappointment of my entire bloodline, I just know it, but I just don't know if I should fight this or accept this, because if I try to accept this, I will just feel like more of a failure, one that didn't even try to help himself, and I feel like if I try to fight this, I will just ridiculize myself, I will end up like a fool who thought he was actually going to be able of doing something, but I wasn't, I was just going to end up as a dumb bastard who deprived himself of sleep and food for no reason. To put it short, I just feel like im losing control of my life for seemingly no reason, and I just feel like no matter what I do things will just get worse and worse, and now all i can do is try to mentally prepare to endure the burden of having to exist when this finally ends up happening.
@@lancelover789 no no, not at all. its okay. i can relate, you are not alone. i know that ugly feeling and the state you are in currently. its like your lifes falling apart but you cant do anything about it so this makes you feel useless and not worth the time and effort the people around you give, but hey dont worry. if they really do care about you, trust me that they will love and support you unconditionally! i know from experience. i was like you about a year ago (still not fully recovered, but im better.) dont forget that even if they dont, i will support you because you dont have to be okay all the time, we are all humans and no one is perfect. everyone has ups and downs. im sure if you open up to someone you trust, maybe your family, they will understand and will give you time. if not, i can give you my discord/insta so we can chat! i can give some advices along your way. lemme add this too: you are enough, even though it dosent seem like that. because its the effort you give that matters. the result is not that important. give yourself credit for that!! im sure you will do it someday, close or not. you are not alone in this, stay strong, sending you care and support.
i’m here because a dress i’m making pissed me off and make me start crying on the floor and thinking about every mistake i’ve ever made in my life. hbu?
