To help yourself feel fine even in heated situations: "zoom out" a bit and imagine all the life that happens around you and realize how little you mean in all that, there is nothing that's going to hurt you
Alan watts explained that quite well, " you must understand we come out of this World, not into it. Therefore we are part of the natural World like the animals, the trees and the waves of the ocean and the clouds. Now have have you ever seen a cloud that was too big or too small? Have you ever seen a cloud move in the wrong direction? The same goes for humans, in zen practice you are thought to regard yourself as a cloud moveing along in the skies..."
1. Sit relaxed and a little lean back that makes people come out to you. 2. Be non-reactive, and react less at times when handling pressure. 3. Speak slowly and use pauses correctly. 4. You will be okay no matter what.
She broke up with me. I told her I was grateful for the good times we shared. No begging, no pleading, go and be well. Moved on. Did us both a BIG favor. 😂
Practice keeping your word everyday you’ll really gain confidence. Every time you say you’re gonna do something and don’t do it, your self-esteem diminishes no matter how meaningless the task may seem. Take your word very serious.
I go by this! Especially just for doing life admin: - Telling yourself you’ll make your bed in the morning before showering. And doing it! - telling yourself you’ll have breakfast before 10:00. And doing it!
@@climbbmilc93 Exactly! Little routine tasks like that are extremely important for keeping your confidence in check. There was one point in my life where I followed through with literally everything that I said I would do religiously and after a while, it felt like I owned the world. “Idk” and “maybe” were no longer in my vocabulary. You start to subconsciously trust in yourself more and more by KNOWING you’ll accomplish whatever you say you’re going to do (AKA confidence).
As a practicing attorney, I often remind myself to pause while speaking with a judge or a jury. It creates suspense. But more importantly, it actually allows me to hear my own thoughts and feel my feelings. Pausing also gives the other person time to process everything I just said. I would add that confidence is a two-way street. I find that if I practice active listening when I speak with people and really make space for them, they open up and we then mutually instill confidence in one another. Confidence doesn’t always have to be a competition.
I’m an accountant and I do this when I need to process information. It’s not an act. I need to pause to think about how to consult and problem solve. Confidence comes from faith that things will work out fine. Every problem can be solved. I love the idea of slowing down to think.
I get anxiety going to college every single day. I'm not happy with how i feel on the inside and out. But this helped and I'm working on myself now. My goal is to leave the house feeling confident and good about myself.
How to nail your interview: 1. Avoid eye contact at all costs 2. Rest your feet on the interviewers desk to assert dominance 3. Wait for 20 seconds staring at them before answering to a question 4. Walk out of the room calmly after refusing to take the job
* Be relaxed - Spread out (standing, sitting being spread) - Move freely around - People have to work for attention - Selective eye contact ( give attention when making a point ; if the other person is doing it, then stare) * Be Non-reactive - Stay silent under pressure ( give pauses to think) - Don’t fidget under pressure * Dont try to convince people - Frame yourself as a equal partner ( in a negotiation; You are screening them as much as they are screening you) - Be willing to walk away ( not emotionally; if its clear that it signifies your confidence; Looks we’re not a match, wish you all the best) * Believe that you’ll be okay - Even if you do something that will prove a loss, be confident and know that you wont ever lose your own trust.
also gotta say, the 4th tip really hits home. Specifically, love the line "...and you may begin to even look forward to the situations that stressed you out"
I have always struggled with social anxiety and self esteem. I used these on my family at a party with my aunts and cousins. For the first time I felt confident. I was talking and making everyone laugh with my stories and comments. As soon as I got home I started crying with relief. I hope that I can keep applying this tricks in the future. Thank you will never be enough, But thank you.
Dude you are so right. I was a shy guy but today my crush offered me a snack and I used to decline the offer and today I said to her" Yeah sure why not" in front of everyone.
You can cultivate a mindset though, being good at things or doing things until You’re good at them is a way to cultivate confidence, the fact is you have to have experiences, good and bad and learn from them, true confidence IMO is having certainty in everything you do
You gotta watch the show. Don is terrified or nervous in 1/4 of these situations. Not to mention his character is literally about an insecure person who imitates a persona to fit in.
It's about balancing when to be open and when not to be. You don't want to be telling the wrong people your weak points, but you also don't want to be a bottle that looks perfect but shatters after some time, because of the pressure it's holding. Recently I've not been balancing it properly. I've been too focused on saying the perfect thing. I've not been patient, I've been wanting instant confidence. This is cause I want to feel the same confidence I did in the past.
Don is relaxed because he’s a made-up fictional character in the movie. Yo don’t use movie characters to describe real life real life to describe real life.
Hey Beatiful people, I Just Started my own Channel Inspired by David and I just wanted to let you know. It might be Interesting for you and i would appreciate it if you would show some support. See you there ;)
I’ve lived my life so far by the adage “this too shall pass”… idk why it stuck with me so hard the first time I heard it but it’s literally how I operate my life on the daily now. This saying has gotten me through countless excruciating physical AND emotional pain over the years and I really believe it’s changed me for the better
I agree with you. The day I learned about the hedonic treadmill was the day my life changed for the better. Deep down I always know that everything is temporary.
1.Have a relax body language and more freely in every environment. Have selective eye contact and make eye contact when your doing a main point. Do not over react and stay non reactive. Remain in silence to think or when confused. SLOW DOWN 2.Make yourself seem as equals with others. Do not get angry and stay calm 3.believe that you will be okay in every situation no matter what
getting detached from reality made me the most confident person ive ever known lol, the key is not caring guys, your fears controlling you, if you overcome them then your anxiety is gone.. everyone is too invested in their own life, they dont care if your hair's not that good
I can vouch for this. In my younger days I used to not give 2 shits what somebody would think about me if I said this or did that, I just didn't care and every conversation/interaction I had with anyone just felt good and satisfying. These days I'm clouded by social anxiety and it's hard to enjoy being out and around people because I constantly think about how the other person is going to view me but coming across this video is reconnecting me with my past philosophy of not giving 2 shits and I have to say it feels good and thats how I know not caring really works lol. Care about what matters to you, not to them, that is the key.
@@prodmarquese Yes and no. Because even if you have no fears there is a difference in appearing confident and being arrogant. Whilist I do understand your point what someone like Don does is project confidence while not needing to be confident himself if that makes sense. There are subtle moviments you can do that swing a conversation in your favor and for someone with Don's knowledge he knows what clients want and needs.
How do you detach from reality? Imagine you are to give a presentation in front of 100 people and you are nervous and anxious as hell, your heart is beating fast, at that situation how would you do that?
A friend told me that once when we were kids. We aren’t friends anymore because first I forgot about that, and then he forgot about that, and now we’re probably never going to talk to each other again. I forgive him now, it’s been a while, but knowing him I doubt he’s forgiven me. I don’t know if he’s capable of forgiveness. Or any real feelings, for that matter.
@@amaracea so very sad. Words spoken in haste or in anger can never be taken back. If both parties are willing and committed, then a friendship can recover and endure; but anything less is like trying to build half a bridge.
Calm means the other person cannot affect you. They might try because if they can make you react then it shows that _they_ have the power to make you react. But if you remain cool and collected no matter what happens, then you retain all of that power, and actually steal some of theirs, because now you've both seen their failure.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🕴️ *External Confidence: Don's Body Language* - Don's relaxed body language and posture project external confidence. - Sitting asymmetrically and spreading out comfortably conveys a sense of ownership. - Strategic use of eye contact signals authority and makes others work for his attention. 03:04 🤐 *Non-Reactivity: Mastering Body Language Deeper Layer* - Non-reactivity in body language demonstrates composure in high-stress situations. - Don's calm response in Rome shows power and control. - Remaining silent in challenging moments buys valuable time for thoughtful reactions. 04:35 🎤 *Effective Communication: The Power of Pause* - Taking time to pause in stressful situations is crucial for effective communication. - Slowing down and thinking calmly enhances decision-making. - Advocates for giving oneself adequate time in high-pressure scenarios. 06:07 🚶 *Not Trying to Convince: Framing as an Equal Partner* - Persuasion is different from trying to convince; Don frames himself as an equal partner. - Walking away when interest isn't reciprocated signals confidence. - Avoiding emotional reactions and maintaining composure is key. 07:36 💪 *Belief in Self: The Deepest Layer of Confidence* - True confidence is believing that you'll be okay no matter what. - Don's personal sacrifices in revealing his truth demonstrate deep internalized confidence. - Living truthfully, even if it means losing, contributes to authentic and lasting confidence. Made with HARPA AI
@@MrMacBig273 You also don't know what confidence means. You get s feeling of confidence/self-assurance by appreciating your own abilities or qualities, and not necessarily being a master of any particular skill. For instance, one could be confident at public speaking, but not necessarily be good at it.
Two rules which I have applied a long time ago and have improved my life completely. - Pause and think about what you're about to say, and then say it, always. - Sometimes it is better to not say anything.
We need this curriculum in today's schools & make it mandatory for all students unfortunately this is something schools never teach us & as a 25 Yr old I can vouch for all adults when I say your degrees, grades & education doesn't matter if you're not able to express yourself. Until you're confident in you own skin you can never be successful.Period..!
1, Be relaxed 2. Selective eye contact 3. Don't fidget or react 4. Stay silent under pressure and let yourself take time to respond - time feels faster when you're stressed 5. Share your interest but walk away if it is not reciprocated 6. Believe that no matter what you do (socially), you will be okay (internal confidence)
Audrey Hepburn was asked how she seemed so poised all the time, she said she slows down. I started talking that to heart in stressful situations, and it's worked. I feel myself getting panicky in a social situation and then just walk slower, talk slower, allows your thoughts to slow down and become less reactive.
@@gabyperez1123 :) yes, before reacting to a certain situation, before responding, taking a deep breath can help you channel your emotions and think the things through. Taking deep breaths can help you release anxiety, stress and even anger.
I worked in security. I always told my guards that when it gets crazy, slow down. Simply your list, take a deep breathe and control what you can. Seem to work as me and my team were very successful.
Have you ever done a video on charisma and confidence demonstrated by non attractive people? That would be intriguing. As for example on this video, around 1:30, he’s leaned back and looks comfortable, but a larger person would be getting a double chin and can come across “different” because of that. That’s obviously a small thing, but it got me thinking of how every video I’ve seen relates to those that already have a natural physical attractiveness that makes “mental” attractiveness maybe not “easier” but at least amplified
Good point, maybe watching videos of guys that weren’t traditionally attractive like Churchill, Idi Amin etc (and the actors that have played them in movies). Notice what they are doing when they seem their most confident and charismatic. 😊
Another factor in why Don is so darn good at all of this is that he is a fictional character with a team of 12 writers controlling every situation, every reaction, every move, every word of every character in every scene. It's easy to make someone god like when for all intents and purposes the character actually is god like, with every aspect of every scene carefully designed and orchestrated by a huge team of writers, sound people, lighting people, costume designers, set directors, on and on, plus the director and other actors setting him up constantly project that great Don Draper image. It takes more to be Don Draper than just confidence. No one is Don Draper.
You’re right, but remember that characters are developed from real life experiences/stories. Writers take personalities and character traits of real people and create a fictional character. It’s not as if Dons character is albeit non relatable, he is very relatable and there’s a lot to learn from Don Draper
0:16 Two types of confidence: External and Internal 0:43 1: Relaxed body language 3:03 2: Be non-reactive 5:24 3: Don’t try to convince people 7:04 4: Believe that you will always be ok
Yeah. It’s really difficult when you’re trained growing up and your whole life that you’re dirt and everyone else is better than you - meaning, hey, respond promptly to people and don’t waste their time. It’s more valuable than yours. When you realize you’re making them wait, you feel like your face is on fire and your hands get all greasy and your chest starts trying to kill you and you can tell they’re hearing how unbelievably loud and shallow your breathing suddenly is and that sweat on your forehead is “this close” to getting in your eye and you forget what you were trying to figure out to say
@@amaracea Do this 3 times. First 2 times it feels terrible and difficult, and at the 3rd time it starts getting more comfortable. Also some people would be surprised at how first and second impressions don't matter and people forget how you've been in the past. The point being, go and make some mistakes, It's good for you.
@@rickjohnson1719 Depending on the complexity of the situation/conversation I think one can choose to just flow, a stream of consciousness so to speak, in lieu of well-thoughtout speech.
Good points raised but remember that this is a trained, professional actor, not naturally as shown in the movies. To be this type of confident takes a great deal more than just trying, doing or acting, but becoming that character in every way. Keep that in mind when trying, faking, doing or acting a part in front of others when such a character isn't your own natural self in everyday normal life.
I have theory about actors... not all, but some. They get so good at becoming (acting) another person they may be tempted to identify as that character in real life. And they get so good at the character that they lose themselves... sometimes intentionally. This could cause much anxiety and suffering. I'm sure we'll never really know but it might explain why in spite of fame and fortune some are secretly very unhappy people
Realizing that no matter what happens, I'll be okay, is exactly how I survived my childhood. I used to stress so much then after so many dramatic plot twists, I realized if I survived all that, I will survive whatever else comes my way and that's when I stopped stressing as much. I hadn't really connected it with confidence before but I can see the connection now. Interesting. 🤔
Same here. I am the only one who is not afraid to speak up, regardless of their position. After you collect your guts to stand up to your parents, you have no fear standing up to anyone :)
Pretty much. nothing like basing your own confidence on a drunken, philandering, identity stealing, morally bankrupt pretty boy. moral of the story, be pretty!
This video... I’ve seen quite a few of yours. This one really hit home for me and confidence felt and projected has not been an issue for me for decades. Well done
Today, in hopes of attracting attention from my crush, I made several jokes in class and everyone laughed including the teacher! Thanks for giving me confidence. I'm still getting there...
1)Relaxed Body language 2)Selective eye contact 3)Non-Reactiveness/Silence/Patient response 4)Framing the situation 5)No matter what... you will be okay.
Stop worrying about always needing to say the right thing because you think the other person or the group might reject you, because you know that you will never reject yourself --- this really hit man, ty for this video
If you spend time getting to know yourself, and learn to love and accept that person then you strengthen the most important relationship of your life, the one you have with yourself. If that relationship is solid then you always have an inner safe haven no matter what is going on around you. That self love and understanding allows you to stay true to yourself in every situation, that is the deepest form of confidence.
Yes but also improving that old self version of you is necessary sometimes, not only accepting it, doing something about if you feel unhappy about certain aspects of yourself
So basically accepting oneself is the very key factor on being confident, kinda mind blowing that it also goes around by the famous saying "once you start believing in yourself, anything is possible".
Confidence isn't about getting other peoplr to agree with you or accept you, it's about living your life without worry. I think that a lot of the reasons people watch this channel come from wanting social acceptance. Ironically, that means that for many of us (myself included), the biggest obstical to overcome in being charismatic, is what drove us to try to be in the first place.
Vael Ryker well put. When my son was about 4th grade I was listening to him and his buddy's sitting around talking. (My son was born with bi-lateral club feet) one of the boys told him, so and so is faster than you. His answer, big deal everyone is faster than me. Too cool, that ended right there. That kid tried to step on him, but found nothing to step on.
The ending is AMAZING, throughout the whole video i was like "yeah, okay but that's just a persona, just an act - and when i was younger and starting self development i thought that THIS was what meant to be confident but it's far from true self belief and conviction, the place where true confidence comes from. So, cool tips but it's not what i need righ-" then lesson 4 started. And you nailed it. It's so fundamental to stress this, to know where confidence, self-belief, comes from. Great, great video.
I totally and finally fell in love with the Don Draper character when he embraced the other guy in genuine empathy and in a gesture of comfort. That was his defining moment as a human. Also, Jon Hamm. Wow. What an amazing actor.
Greg Walker yes. It is totally conditional. We don’t like whiny wimps who tell us who they think we are. We like men who don’t blame us for everything that is wrong. We like men who like women. We hate men who hate women. So yeah. You are right. It IS conditional. Those are the conditions. I have my own money. My husband has his own money. Get a job, a clue, snd stop being a weakling.
Hey Beatiful people, I Just Started my own Channel Inspired by David and I just wanted to let you know. It might be Interesting for you and i would appreciate it if you would show some support. See you there ;)
All the trades I have make with Dylan has been justified and I have made 6 consecutive withdrawals 437K each and I recommend him for your trades on forex I'm grateful to expert Dylan
Besides what is going on under your own roof and that of your loved ones, treat life as a game and everything will be all right. That includes the position that everything will be okay no matter what. If you implement this concept, you will never get nervous, anxious, fidgety. You will be in control of yourself and the situation you are in and you won’t be afraid to put people in their place (nicely or not sometimes) when they get out of line. The world will be your oyster and the world will get out of your way of making things happen.
stealing someone else's personality and life? Wack! You'll end up like Edward Norton's character at the end of The Italian Job movie from 2003- A no originality, unconfident, LOSER that can't decide who they Actually are.
I feel like a big part of Don's character is that even HE has his own issues with self-confidence, but he never let's people see that. When he does, that's when we start to see the layers peel back and Don's true self starts to show. It's really all about how you project yourself to the world and those around you.
Not necessarily the point. The point is to have true enough confidence in yourself to be able to be vulnerable in front of others, and not in a poor me way.
My advice: learn how to iron & never leave the house with wrinkled clothes on. You can have awful cheap things from Goodwill & still look & feel confident if you iron.
" You are okay, and you will be okay.". That's an outstanding line, and I appreciate the focus of this video. Intrinsic confidence is powerful, but perhaps it is more difficult to master. Thank you for this content and for all of your videos.
What exactly is the purpose of them and this channel? I'm confused. Does it mean to make characters like Tommy Shelby and... as role models or just learn from them and add to our best version?!
Don is not confident because he drinks. That is just pure nonsense. He is confident because he does not actually care about most of the things that shape other people. He does not care about money in the way other people does, he does not care what others think and above all he is willing to just try. Everybody knows a Don Draper. That does not mean he is a good person morality is something different.
Don Draper's confidence comes from the fact that he is a character in a TV show, and he is only written into scenes where he is, and can be, confident.
With Confidence it is also to remind yourself that everyone is going through things, everyone is up in their own heads worrying about themselves. Once you realise this it is so easy to walk around with ease and assured in who you are. Everyone is human. With any scenario that scares you, ask yourself the simple question ‘What is the worst outcome that can happen from this situation’, usually it isn’t half as bad as we make it out to be! Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Challenge yourself everyday and you will step into a Confident Person. All the love and incredible video, Thank you x
Hey Beatiful people, I Just Started my own Channel Inspired by David and I just wanted to let you know. It might be Interesting for you and i would appreciate it if you would show some support. See you there ;)
07:01 is everything. Very powerful stuff. I’ll meditate on this for as long as it takes, and get rejected and fail over and over for as many times as it takes to internalize that. Thank you so much.
You create your own reality by choosing what you believe in. 99% of your reactions are coming from subconscious, reactions become habits, and habits become your reality.
Reprograming your mind, body and soul is the toughest thing I've ever done. I continue to struggle with reacting to situations. It's bad when people get the best of you. All the time people are at you, making it much more difficult to obtain what you want. It can be corrected, it can be done. I work everyday to get closer to be the man I want to be.
How accurate this is is actually kind of crazy. I've followed most of these in the past and have deviated recently while going through some things and allowing myself to be off balance. I used to spend so much time on my own thinking and pondering what the ideal way to be happy and so on and so forth is. At the end of my day I'd reassess: What happened today, what was the goal here, why did it go the way it did, why did someone react the way they did, what could I have done different.... ANYWAY. Being honest and therefore speaking from a place where you feel grounded and stable and therefore confident while being open to being wrong and realizing you will be ok no matter what. the world is up to your interpretation. is all there is to it.
@@fbmw98 The biggest thing that happened this week was when someone said "thanks" to a grammar correction in a RU-vid, instead of getting triggered. The tiniest thing ever, but I felt inspired by this. Good mindset.
DO a tommy shelby from Peaky blinders confidence/dominating a situation breakdown! most intimidating without trying character in any show (sorry tywin)
No she didn't. She exhaled her cigarette smoke into his mouth. Watch that scene where he says "My name is Don." She does not exhale the smoke, but goes straight for his mouth. She is a femme fatale. It is written all over her face. Don is a sucker.
Thank you so much I really needed this, I was just rejected and was so scared to go to school because I knew that people would confront me about it but again thank you so much!
Wow! So focused, engaging and productive. Just before I get out of bed, I visualize and feel in every part of my body, the life I want. I hold those feelings for at least 20 seconds and everything I do is driven by that vision. This is the best cotent I have seen on YT so far. Great job.
Internal confidence can also be called *SELF-ESTEEM* - Ultimately, it boils down to mastering your own psychology and understanding that you have unlimited powers
VariableVision Absolutely! confidence isn’t something someone always radiates, it fluctuates, not everyone always feel amazing every second of every day, Don Draper definitely has had confidence at some point in his life, and may be feeling that exact way right now, it’s something you cultivate that takes time, so your answer is a bit obvious, sometimes you feel confident, sometimes not, everyone has had confidence at one point in their life
If ones self-esteem is based on the believe that one has unlimited powers, one will at some point fail and then be forced to question it. This is far from mastering ones psychology I guess... Knowing ones limits, being confident about the potentual one has and honest about all of it seems like self-esteem that is way more natural. Just my thougt on it tho..
@@Infinite_exhilaration Don Draper definitely had confidence. But I would argue his self destructive behaviour (alcoholism, serial cheating on his wife, constant lying) is rather a sign of lack of self esteem. One should not confuse self esteem with confidence. One runs much deeper and the other is more superficial and ego-centric.
VariableVision I’m a contradiction because I agree and disagree with you. You should never mix self esteem with confidence, however... people’s behavior, it changes over time, take Robert Downey Jr by example, his life was going essentially nowhere, and he made a decision to completely change the course of his life, and arguably kick started the MCU. Now... I’m not talking that big of a change, but he could of been known for binge drinking 4 months ago, and has that stigma, but 3 weeks ago, without us knowing, he made the decision to stop drinking, or drink less and less, so... it’s very difficult in my opinion to judge someone on their past behavior when change is just one decision away, and your argument may be people don’t change, and it’s a possibility like most people they are basing that statement from their own personal experience. Today he could of made a decision to change everything around. The truth is we don’t know. It’s the same as having a best friend always hung out in Highschool, you graduated, moved to a different state, visited him 3 years later, you can be a completely different person, so much so he doesn’t even recognize you
That whole.. Im going to be fine is what really does it.. And the no ducks given that comes out of rock bottom is what makes people relentlessly unegotistically authentic in every interaction..and relaxed biddy language.. That's confidence.. And it's unique to everyone.. Best to find your own rather than copy anyone partly.. Just comes off as creepy and untrustworthy.
I've closed deals for $30,000 in the first semester selling software. I am a newb in sales talk but as I soon I take risk of trying and improving in communication I've learned and be confident to the product that I'm selling, all the embarrassment and mistakes is worth it I've learned new things in life.
From what I've learnt. "Everyone clicked on this video with an urge to improve themselves. But they all acted that they learnt something and proceeded to never use it."
Such a great series too. It's all about finding a path to happiness and how we're all sold a false idea of what that is. The show asks if we can change enough to be a better person, love ourselves, and find authentic joy. Don is living the idea of the American Dream, which makes him extremely confident, but inside he's a mess. He goes on on journey from realizing how shallow his "perfect life" is to accepting his truly self. And every episode it like a short story, hitting upon a different theme that explores this idea. Highly recommended if you haven't seen it.
Be relaxed Limited eye contact Non reactive ( not reactive ) If stressed ( pause ) Walk away if it's not reciprocated (Reciprocated= dono person ko ek dusre ke liye same swabhaw hona ) No matter what you would be ok & live like it as you would be okay. It's not like always looking cool or always make people to respond you in your favourable way. It's living your life at (least socially) like no matter what you will be ok.
This is what I’ve been saying for years. Once you fall into that mindset of everything is NOT going to be ok, you literally become this. Thank you... finally someone understands what I’ve been saying.
Taking pauses in between answering questions and making statements, then making eye contact is a hell of a powerful thing I learned. A must read is The Alabaster Girl.
Just be yourself. Be true to yourself and true to others. The most happy and confident people I met lives the most humble life in the villages of India. They may not have a fancy job, education or any lucrative career but they are content with themselves.
How to be confident: 1. Relaxed body language, moving freely around -standing shoulder width apart -relaxing arm on a the top of a chair -subconciously signaling others have to work for your attention -selective eye contact(situation, person) 2. Being non-reactive -being silent under pressure helps you to think the situation 3. Not trying to convince other people -frame yourself as a equal partner -willing to get rid potraying yourself confident 4. Believing I will be ok -doing things you wouldn't be okay (stepping out of comfort zone) - telling the truth even it gets you lose something - stop worrying someone else will reject because you will never reject yourself