Seek Peace Instead of Seeking Approval

Mindah-Lee Kumar (The Enthusiastic Buddhist)

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Seeking approval from others is not a recipe for finding happiness. In fact, trying to win the approval of others only batters our confidence, leads to low self-esteem and adds fuel to our mental stories. In this video I explain how seeking inner peace should be our aim instead of relying on the impermanent opinions of others. I also offer different perspectives to help us break free of our neurosis so we can stop looking for approval from others and find the inner peace and happiness we are all searching for.
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Sutta used in this video:
"Panditavagga: The Wise" (Dhp VI), translated from the Pali by Acharya Buddharakkhita. Access to Insight (Legacy Edition), 30 November 2013, www.accesstoinsight.org/tipita...

Опубликовано:

10 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 102

@supremereader7614 2 года назад

"Even if we do win their approval, we'll still suffer trying to maintain that approval. Thank you for these wonderful videos 🙏

@AngelaAllen40216 8 лет назад

I've meditated and listened to 6 hours of Ajahn Brahm talks today to try to "fix" what's wrong with me. (He usually helps!) But this talk hit the nail on the head!! I never thought I could learn so much from someone young enough to be my daughter. Thank you Mindah. I love your talks,

@CharlesTaylor109 9 лет назад

I actually left the influence of an old college friend explaining that I needed to follow my own Buddhist path seeking to be like the Buddha and accepting of myself.

@ravisandrasekera3799 9 лет назад

Thanks so much for this. I was waiting for someone to acknowledge something and found out from a third party that they were waiting for me to call. After your video I realized that I was only feeding my own ego. Thanks to you extolling the Buddhist teachings I feel much better and feel that I have taken an important step. Thanks again.

@boston312 8 лет назад

excellent wisdom. I feel that the American mainstream (that preaches narcissism, materialism, competition and ego) preaches the exact opposite of what is being taught in this video and hence the emotional depression.

@SonicPhonic 4 года назад

Capitalism is the American religion.

@sheilakirwan9462 3 года назад

Michael Gfroerer and consequently suffer a lot

@wisdomwizard3620 7 лет назад

This applies to my situation PERFECTLY! There's a girl I've had a crush on for a long time, but I keep wanting her to love me as much as I love her, but I have to realize that she is on a different path in life than I am and I have better things to put my attention to

@sdaniels160 9 лет назад

I enjoy your videos. I am a high school teacher and I play them before classes. They are a tremendous help at helping me resist reacting to student behavior.

@oiolasim 9 лет назад

I really appretiace your beautiful work. I would have been a much happier tenager if I had learned this teachings.

@ramoesgaston9966 2 года назад

Whatever I do in my life and who I am believe me when I tell I don't seek fame or prestige but to help other be healthy and wise. May all sentient beings witness this profound brilliant glory.

@bassdylan7048 6 лет назад

My neck is just slightly soar from nodding in agreement nearly ever second. Bless you for not only your great efforts, but for sharing your wisdom as well.

@shirleyjones4041 4 года назад

I needed to hear this. as i have been seeking approval from someone for over 20 years. I realise as someone told me . You will never be able to please her. As it's all about her . Now I do what I want . I'm doing it so it benefits others . And I have to shift my attention to them . As they are the people that matter and benefit . Not this person . I have been seeking approval from .

@mercedeswalt6621 8 лет назад

This gave me the biggest "aha!" Moment that I've ever had in a looooong time. Thank you so much!

@Davidsillybarnarnar 3 года назад

Thank you so much Mindah-Lee for your smile and your loving kindness

@miraclesarefree6393 10 лет назад

Thank you, for posting your videos; my wife is born a Buddhist & has some difficulty accepting my spiritual teachers. The other RU-vid Buddhist teachers, tend to speak only in a narrow Eastern philosophy, that is extremely outdated. I am now directed her to listened to you Channel. I feel your advice will be accepted by her.

@4noble_truths221 9 лет назад

Thank you so much for this video. It really made me think about think myself and other people in a different way. This is something I have struggled with since I was a teenager. Again, thanks for this and all your videos. I am learning a lot about Buddhism just by watching your concise explanations. :)

@nigelsheppard2953 8 лет назад

You really know your stuff and its presented in such a clear way. Thank you

@tempesnyder6243 Год назад

Yes, I needed this so very bad, it is the biggest problem in my life, and it has caused a really terrible, terrible difficulty for me. And you have broken the subject apart perfectly, explained every section of the problem. I usually listen to your videos on the four noble truths, and the noble eightfold path, but this is a good one. It will be on my menu for quite a while because it addresses my problem perfectly!

@thedancingveganatheist6310 6 лет назад

Thank you for this upload! It is a true public service.

@yuandeshih5883 10 лет назад

the series of dharma talk are so beneficial. sadhu

@DS-yy2bk 9 лет назад

You have been a blessing in my life,. Not just this video,. Others as well. The way you explain things is very refreshing, thank you.

@venuunitec 3 года назад

You are beautiful. Love your talks. Great insight. Straight to point.

@lilacwest 7 лет назад

I love all your videos, but I want to especially thank you for this one, it is much needed for me, I will be watching it again & I took notes. Thanks for all you do!

@johnrkillick3342 6 лет назад

Thank you, Mindah-Lee! Your talks are very good and helpful. May you be happy and well.

@yusefendure 5 лет назад

This was so well presented. Thank you again.

@georgegoodyear9631 7 лет назад

Thank you for this much-needed advice.

@BeHisLikeness 10 лет назад

You are one smart lady...

@tferragut 4 года назад

Wonderful, gentle, calm and helpful. Right on message. Seeking approval that may never comes and is fleeting if it does leads to discontent and suffering within us. There are ways to deal. Thanks Mindah.

@javierloya4086 9 лет назад

Thank you for the video, it is very educational, I have struggled with approval seeking behavior all of my life, I'm getting better at being myself and doing what I want instead of trying to please others, but I always need to be on my toes to be myself and your video is and excellent reminder of that.

@spacepodstudio 9 лет назад

Thank you.. i need to practice this. You are a beautiful person.

@JuliathePCGPinSW16 7 лет назад

I found this video whilst searching RU-vid for one like this - I especially appreciated 2 points about (a) the transient nature of approval from others, ie it can be there one munute and gone the next and (b) that often are just too distracted by their own cares to notice us, but that a few see we want approval but choose not to give it because they feel it isn't "appropriate" in the relationship (eg boss/employee .. or manager and the CEO of an org)

@stacie1976 8 лет назад

You are a sweetheart. Great words of wisdom! Thank you for being you and keep up the great work.

@creator2149 7 лет назад

Especially narcissists. They refuse to give you praise or acknowledge your happiness. I think we all have known these types of psychos. But, say normal people, they aren't going to give you what you want all the time either. Most people have egos of their own, narcissists enormous ones.

@sachingayakwad919 9 лет назад

** Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ ** I used to be very desperate, neutral and negative after death of my younger bro. in a very short age of 22 and due to some specific failures in the life; I tried many ideas and motivational quotes from internet websites to get out myself from these desperate and negative feelings, but no one could work for a longer time; after following Lord Buddha’s Teachings and his Dhamm.. I live so peaceful and feel free from all that types negative and desperate thinking. Buddhism is really Awesome..! The most honest and most useful religion for all human beings..!!

@aventurileluipetre 8 лет назад

I am grateful for your dedication, thank you for sharing your perspective, I can feel the peace

@cmdrhunt 9 лет назад

Greetings Mindah, I just found and subscribed to your channel. I enjoy listening get to all your videos and especially this one on self esteem. This particular video has helped me immensely and given me food for thought as well as relief. I struggle with self esteem, and I'm very glad to have found this and your channel. I really enjoy learning about Buddhism, and you present those teachings in a very easy and understandable way. I wanted to say thank you for doing so, and am looking forward to your next videos.

@DrSeethe 7 лет назад

Thanks for the info. I've felt like I've always knew this but my religion is trying to stop me from thinking this way.

@SonicPhonic 4 года назад

Wow thank you for the great teaching tempered with solid common sense. It seems so rare to have such a great mixture!

@mridulashyam 5 лет назад

Such a wise and realized Mindah Lee. I know and practice core Buddhism. Thanks for your help

@SherOTG 8 лет назад

Thank you so much for this. You have lifted my spirit many times!

@saulwilliams-wilson7356 6 лет назад

I am grateful for your videos

@craigbabinski 6 лет назад

Any plans on new videos? I’m now going through them all again, just have so much value.

@giuseppe-accordion 8 лет назад

Thank you for your wonderful way of explaining the Buddha's sayings....Bless you

@MickGoodman 6 лет назад

Thank you for this. You present this from so many different angles. This is very helpful.

@jeroenjansen2709 5 лет назад

It makes a lot of sense

@chriscintron3561 7 лет назад

thank you.

@rosscrich3 8 лет назад

Thank you for your videos, they have helped me a lot!

@themonkeykingkaiser 9 лет назад

I love your videos! And this was another great one!

@puglisid 7 лет назад

Great Dhamma Talk,straight to the point. Thanks a lot for sharing your Dharma reflections on this important issue with all of us.

@Datruebdizzy7285 10 лет назад

This is incredible Thank You So Much

@stevenward2116 8 лет назад

Thanks for the lesson...It all makes perfect sense to me....i'm going to try to include it in my daily life.

@derrickglass537 4 года назад

Luv ur smile n Aura 💓

@wbiggerstaff21 10 лет назад

Thank you Mindah!!!

@ButterflyStarla 9 лет назад

Needed this, thank you so much :]

@TJ-kz1ul 9 лет назад

Thank you, thank you, for all your videos, I just found them today and have already learned so much. Gassho

@thutopstpr 8 лет назад

Thank you

@zendavis3501 7 лет назад

Thanks so much for your videos. You desiminate information with such poise and clarity that it resonates with me tremendously. Making it easy to comprehend. Please continue..... Namaste

@shirleyjones4041 4 года назад

This is very good.

@rogelio8002 6 лет назад

well... i really agree with what u said in this video...absolutely agree!!... but to put it into practice can be really hard and difficult...from my own experience we are socially made ...and we need some amount of love from others...in the way of righteousness and honesty ,we may have to face decisions in which be honest and do the right thing can make the other reject us, and even attacking us, we can find ourself isolated ,alone and marginated ,suffering a feeling of injustice , sadness and deep... very deep demotivation so BEWARE!! u should never try to look stronger than u really are...at least is my experience...

@montidatta 9 лет назад

Very wise thoughts.

@kzlp2394 3 года назад

such a beautiful lady

@omaviraomavira7187 Год назад

So proud for your successful 😊😍

@zain4019 2 года назад

Thank-you:)

@plstne48 10 лет назад

Mindah, every new video from you is a gem filled with wisdom. Thanks especially for this video. I really needed the advice contained in it. It practically speaks to my own problem :)

@plstne48 10 лет назад

Is there anything else that you would add that you never mentioned in the video? I personally like the idea of having compassion for other people and myself. I realize in the ultimate sense, people aren't really trying to hurt us; they're merely blinded by their own ignorance. When it comes to approval-seeking, I try to reflect on impermanence and out true nature. That ultimately we can't find real satisfaction in people, we can only do it through contentment and equanimity.

@gaynorarmash4659 9 лет назад

Thank you for sharing..This is helping me a lot ....

@peaceworld5632 8 лет назад

Thanks..

@antidepressant11 Год назад

Very useful Mindah. Thanks .

@ganesanls8723 3 года назад

Awesome

@shaneking4523 5 лет назад

Thankyou Mindah 🙏

@TechBytesforstudents 6 лет назад

you have helped me introspect my actions. Thanks Somuch. Please do throw some light on how to handle the craving.

@SamitiYoga 8 лет назад

your videos are great

@fosterhall738 9 лет назад

EXCELLENT

@stevenkok1926 7 лет назад

Renounced worldly things that no longer serve. Seek the truth by self mastery experience.

@parikhprashant1 4 года назад

NICE one thanks

@themonkeykingkaiser 9 лет назад

This is a great lesson. Are you from Australia?

@creator2149 7 лет назад

I'm certain I was not going to get any approval from my ex of 13 years. He was a narcissist. So, what I have learned is what makes me think I am going to get approval from anyone else? They either like me or they don't. The point is, I like me.

@samragunawardana6832 2 года назад

A mistake can be commited by anyone at anytime in our life nomatter how intelligent we are andno matter how wise we are .Yet buddism teaches us to avoid these musakes of our life ..which would otherwise can even lose everything including our lives

@SKF358 4 года назад

No one is worth seeking his or her approval.

@NicoleTaynicoletay 9 лет назад

This helped. Thank you. With metta. :)

@MrFlashjet 10 лет назад

What you say is so true Mindah - I have a question for you, what are your thoughts on all this social media liking/disliking/commenting/not commenting. We can all get so caught up in this and take it so seriously it can cause stress. What are you thoughts...? --- Another great insight/video

@MrFlashjet 10 лет назад

***** Thanks Mindah - I only found your channel a couple of weeks ago, the mindfulness practices and other tips you share in your videos are amazing - I suppose it's common sense, but common sense is so often lost nowadays and we all need to keep reminding ourselves of these things (practicing). Please keep up your great work.

@JayCo- 6 лет назад

Who will help end the suffering. Thank you for the great video

@yourheavenmyhell9254 5 лет назад

. Styxhexenhammer666 started to believe in reincarnation a couple of years ago. So did I about a year ago. About 2 months ago, I started to believe in karmatic laws and effect. It started to just make sense (being that we really don't know all the facts, and the absolute truth about the reason for our existence.) I think it is a good way to think i.e. try to replace bad/negative acts with good ones (whatever the F&$# that's supposed to mean!) I still hold the Satanic belief of to give love to those deserve it (IF YOU CHOOSE,) and not to those who don't deserve it (AND WRATH TO THOSE IF NEED BE.....BWAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!) Be good to yourself, Mindah!

@mattjackson6871 10 лет назад

What about seeking approval at work. Where should one draw the line. I know that just being good at one's job should be enough. But really, it is the more personable people that get the most out of their careers.

@wfqsfg 5 лет назад

Bottom line: It is ok if someone doesn't like you or doesn't want to be your friend. I know when I was much younger it did bother me.

@antidepressant11 9 лет назад

sensational hope you become famous even though you're not seeking it I know...

@kariukitrevor 10 лет назад

Really enjoyed the video. However seeking approval is something that has to be in life because I feel for Instance in christianity Paul was seeking for the approval of God. Galatians 1:10 So I think that in life in a general perspective we have to look for the approval of someone or something be it family, our children, friends or even God. I choose the latter but its tough. Please Mindah-Lee Kumar help me on this one.

@kariukitrevor 10 лет назад

Thank you once again as this has really helped me. You could really help a lot of people in this world by building their inner confidence through your videos but the world is consigned to oblivion. Such a video deserves more views. Peace :-)

@miguelatkinson 2 месяца назад

@@kariukitrevorthis is a buddhist channel kariukitrevor they don't really hold onto or believe in the concept of a personal Supreme creator god

@stevenkok1926 7 лет назад

Metta Seeker Friends.

@creator2149 7 лет назад

There are a lot of recovering abuse victims.

@three7446 9 лет назад

i liked this. no offense, i promise i don't mean this in a mean way, but i think this video is a little dull. like there's nothing going on to hold my focus. it's too peaceful. most yt vids have flashing lights and edits and gifs with bright colors and music.

@carerforever2118 4 года назад

Sounds like attachment. Your attached to those things because your used to it. De-attach from them and you will be happy without those things .

@MarcDufresneosorusrex 2 года назад

isn't it funny that our defintion of love is pretty much "seeking approval" ? in a Hollywood sense..

@shockz18 9 лет назад

In some of your videos,Iyour voice sounds like you just wanna burst out laughing, i dont know why i think that, do you do loads of cuts in your video because you just start laughin for no reason lol