SELF CHECK: How To NOT Be A Toxic Person 

All my toxic queens and kings, let's at least be proud that we are here to change. We are willing to change, and it's a good start. I hope we get through this and live a positive life, the life we dream and wish for. Good luck to everyone out there. Also, i am going to change myself this time, so you're not alone❤️

1.I don't get mad at little stuff anymore. 2.I forgive people easier coz I understand them. 3.I don't waste energy in arguing and judging people.Infact I act as an antidote to them so that they don't get hurt. 4.I don't need anyone or anything and flow with the time and tide. 5.I remind myself that I am working for myself in the struggle. Hope this works for you too.

Timestamps 1). Check your ego 0:36 2). Don't test others 1:26 3). Don't gossip 2:22 4). Don't be a doormat 2:55 5). Don't control people's mindsets 3:29 6). Don't avoid or delay difficult conversations 4:12 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

Perfect timing. Because I can't seem to stop myself from not on purposefully offend my friends every message I sent in our group chat.

I just broke up with my partner and I realized I was very toxic in the relationship and now that I’m realizing it I want to change for the better. And fix myself mentally and physically. I know soon enough I’ll get better. But for now I know that I need some help to guide me on the way to be better. And this video is helping me out.

Habits that me a better person and improved my relationships drastically 1. I stopped lying- by simply not saying things that never occurred and avoiding exaggeration. This makes me more authentic and surprisingly my self-esteem issues just went away. I used to lie about my insecurities but now I realize that lying only added fuel to that fire. 2. I started judging my own daily choices as though I was looking at a character in a movie. This helps me avoid repeating mistakes and look at things from a different point of view. 3. In my journals I started to ask more questions instead of the usual "I'd never be able to do that" self-talk. This has helped me look at my problems in a new light and get a lot of things I really wanted for a long time.

I've always believed that mental illness is actually very common. I have never met anyone who seemed entirely put together right. Even the happy successful people seemed like they were afflicted by issues that were directly affecting their behavior and attitude towards other people. I've seen narcissism, psychosis, personality disorders, ADHD, and basically just insanity in all its various forms in just about everyone I know. People are complicated, and their beliefs make things even more complicated because it extends beyond just what it takes to survive. They'll dislike you no matter what you do. Being liked, loved, cared about is nice but the only people that benefit from that are usually victims of their own success. Eventually being surrounded by yes men/women who use them to meet their ends.

Because of my toxic personality, i don't have any friends anymore i hated my self for my trash like personality but i just cannot let go my ego i am the worst.. I am really gratefull for the video thank you so much. I hope i become a good person..😣

I think we've gotten to a point in where we now see everything as toxic. Certain habits, traits, actions etc aren't necessarily toxic, they can be overwhelming in the long run. Any thing can be toxic if the intention to cause harm is the reason these actions are done. Sometimes it's learnt from parents, relationships, freinds, social media etc

Tbh I hope that people won’t feel alarmed because of this video. We’re all guilty of something! That doesn’t make us toxic. It’s HOW OFTEN we manifest these traits Also, being a doormat isn’t a toxic trait. It is toxic for ourselves, but not others. Usually when people use the word “toxic” they’re referring to the behaviors that hurt others

Not testing others is a challenge for me, because I've been betrayed for being vulnerable so many times now I doubt everything. People can always fabricate things to deceive you. IDK how to get out of it.

I have a issue with gossiping, and I'm starting to learn the consequences of it after a long time best friend said she was taking a break from our friendship because of that said gossiping.. Thank you for shedding light on this!

Step 1: Don't throw the word "toxic" at everything you don't like for whatever nonsensical reasons there may be 😅

yoo perfect timing! i've been doing some serious self reflection and realizing i'm a pretty shitty person a lot of the time, so this is pretty helpful. it's gonna take a lot of work, but i really want to get better. i've been a jerk, and that's the exact opposite of who i want to be.

This is some perfect timing as i am literelly loosing friends because i am not literally happy with myself so i end up throwing people under because of my unhappiness. Its really depressing

Being toxic is the last thing I ever want to do. I'll admit: I do have some moments where I am shown to be toxic at times. If I want to keep disrespecting myself, that's totally up to me. If I want to disrespect others (even though it's never my intent), that's on them. But enough is enough!

Whoever watching this video intentionally I appreciate you guys accepted that you are being toxic!

I lost two of my friends because of being defensive over a misunderstanding.

I'm a doormat and a people pleaser. Most of the time it's because I'm scared. My childhood has taught me that if I don't give myself up for other people then I will be punished or I told that I'm not good enough. Of course my life is so much better now but I still struggle with these issues. I can understand how it hurts other people, and I am trying to give myself more respect. "You must respect yourself because you're hurting others." Just feels like another way of people-pleasing. I think you should respect yourself to respect yourself. And that is going to take a long time. Of course this is just my opinion I'm not a professional, and I haven't done as much research.

Looking back on myself and how toxic my behaviour was pre-Borderline personality disorder diagnosis, I can't understand how I have any of those friends still left in my life 🙊 I'm not perfect now, but therapy has helped a ton, and just getting that diagnosis, having things make sense and learning how to be more introspective has honestly been a life saver. 💜

One thing I love about this channel is that it's one of the few self-help content providers that also create content which talks about how YOU can be toxic or have negative traits to improve. Everywhere else I see just explains ways OTHERS can be toxic only.

My ex was manipulative and always victim blamed themselves and a ton of other things, it came to a point where I couldn't talk to them about how I felt about our relationship because they would try and guilt trip me or blow up. while delaying our breakup and a needed talk was a decision that tortured me before it happened, but then I did it and broke it off and that brought me to question myself and belittle myself into staying in that relationship longer than I should have. But coming to terms that I overthink and delay things and seeing how that ended up with me being unhappy and with added trauma, it helped me gain confidence and helped me be more assertive in my boundaries and any difficult situations that Im in

This is a wonderful video. I always felt myself being somewhat toxic and tried to fix myself as much as possible. Here's my two cents about how I adress these toxic traits myself: 1. Ckecking my ego is never pleasant, but I have to do this so that I wouldn't hurt others unintentionally. This process can be easier when I know that I can love and accept myself being flawed. It opens a space for constructive self-criticism and encourages to not repeat the same mistakes again. Ego is not enitrely evil, it's part of my personality. Its role is self-preservation, I just have to make sure that it doesn't come with the cost of hurting others. 2. For me wishing to test others comes from unanswered questions in my mind. Do I like when others are testing me? No. That's how I had to learn how politely and assertively ask these questions before accumulating too many negative emotions. On the other side, observation of one's behavior at the start of a relationship is crucial to evaluate the possible issues coming later. 3. Gossiping is something I learned from my own gaslighter mother. It took me years to realize that it's NOT a right thing to do. EVER. For me, it comes from low self-esteem and self-hate. If I tend to see bad things in others, gossip about them, then its clear that I just want to humiliate them to feel better about myself. I had to learn how to see positive things in myself, so that I could see them in others. If I'm capable of self-love and self-respect, I don't seek to compare myself to the others, I know that I'm good enough for myself and I can always be even better. The only positive thing that can come from comparing myself with others is finding good behaviour examples and learning them. 4. How to not be a doormat, if you're considering yourself the most spineless person in the world? Defending my own boundaries is something I'm working on. All I know that it comes with finding balance that my own feelings matter as much as the other's. It's okay, if I can't tolerate certain behaviours, I just need to learn express this in assertive way. When I started to defend my own boundaries, I started to respect the other's. 5. I can't say much about controlling other people's mindsets, especially when the most common thing I hear from others and myself is "calm down." Does it feel like someone is controlling my mindset? Not really, but thanks for an interesting example. 6. Not delaying difficult conversations comes with checking my ego. I need to admit my mistakes, so that I could learn from them. Even so, my mistakes do not define me, I need to have love and compassion for myself.

Thanks for this info it's really helps , so that we don't push away our loved ones due to our toxicity.

Respectfully I'm open minded, so discussing important matters like this to anyone it will hard and rare, considering if people can be toxic. I love your videos and the work and you the guidance you give. Your are changing the planet, and I appreciate it. You don't miss, your right on point ☝️ hopefully my children will know that me as their father is learning, and I can count on y'all resources to being a good person and falling asleep at the end of the night, I'm at least trying, we're only 1 person, God bless you

I'm glad that you guys mentioned that we need to have difficult conversations with other people sometimes when issues arise. A lot of people need to watch this video, especially people in leadership positions.

I will admit that Number 6 is usually a problem for me. Mainly because in the past with one of my relationships, the one I was with was quite toxic, always baiting me into arguments and doing point number 2 in this video. These days when it comes to talking to my SO, sometimes I fear that I'm once again stepping through a minefield trying to find the right words to say so I don't end up in the same situation. This video has given me a bit of courage to talk to my partner about the problem that I'm currently facing so thanks Psych2Go, appreciate the video

With two toxic parents, it’s lucky I didn’t turn out a _complete_ mess… though not gonna lie, it’s been a challenge to get my adult life on-track without the wholehearted and mutual support of my family. However many setbacks and roadblocks it takes, I’m not about to give up and give in anytime soon, not with the amount of effort and energy invested into this long overdue QOL refresh.

The only one I need to work on is 5. When people have a certain reaction, I do have a tendency to say, “hey, it could be worse. It’s not ok that you feel this way about this. Your emotions aren’t valid in this situation.” I think the main reason I say this is because I’ve learned to reject my own emotions because I hate being vulnerable. I’ve been working on veering away from crying, being angry, or any other emotions. Even the people around me tell me that this isn’t an ok thing to say, and they are right. I just need to work on this. My music therapist even defined this as projecting my own expectations onto others. But the other things, I don’t actually do anymore.

At 2:55 when you said "don't be a doormat" and explained why, it made realise i was one... I'm always scared to go against people opinion so i agree to everythings they say. I never allow myself to speak my mind wich is pretty toxic for me... I have to work on my self-esteem ! Thanks for the video ❤ ( and for people who have the same struggle, one day i'm sure we'll be able make it and speak our mind ! )

The last two I have a problem with. I actually thought telling others to calm down and chill was a reassurance thing, I didn't think it was that damaging. And I avoid a lot of difficult conversations just to avoid conflict and I just want to live life and enjoy.

Don’t think I’m toxic. Maybe slightly sadistic. I felt I was a wimpy person in high school and did things for people that didn’t deserve it. I started to stand up for myself in recent years after the same people tried to approach me or tried to change my way of thinking. I didn’t hold back. I got no shame in that.

Problem is, toxic people don’t watch stuff like this 😅

Although I strive to be a decent person, to do better and learn from my mistakes, I recognize doing or confronting a lot of these toxic behaviors in the past. Now I even realize where I learned some of them from. I definitely recall times where I let myself be a doormat, letting others take advantage of me, with me later decrying that I was a victim. Ultimately, I let it happen, so it’s on me. I’ve grown to stop doing that altogether, but it took learning self awareness to finally address it. I’ve also been guilty of trying to control other’s mindsets, but that wasn’t my fault directly. A good portion of my family did exactly that on the regular, so I assumed that was normal behavior. Nowadays, I’ve unlearned that habit and try to acknowledge how someone feels instead of dismissing them. In fact, I now actually get really upset with said family members when they start dismissing my feelings. I grew up in a pretty toxic family dynamic, almost outright dysfunctional at times. My mom and aunts were constantly testing and gossiping with each other, my mom being the ringleader, so to speak. She’d pretend to be compassionate to one’s face, but would do otherwise when they’re not in the same room any longer. I grew to hate that dynamic, so when we’d have holiday family gatherings, I’d often go into the family room with my brothers and cousins to avoid the drama. That’s why I grew up to be avoidant of conflict, which led to dozens of unresolved conflicts in itself by me not finding the courage to address them outright from the start. I’ll admit I’m still working on this one, but my friends have been very supportive and understanding, encouraging me to speak up when I need to. With practice and some self confidence, I’m sure I’ll do better in that situation next time.

Wow, this video really hit home for me. 😔 I've definitely been guilty of some of these toxic behaviour's in the past, and it's inspiring to hear that there are things I can do to change and become a better person. I appreciate the practical advice and encouragement to cultivate more positive relationships in my life. Thank you for sharing this important message! 🙏

Thanks for this vid... I had a toxic client from a cleaning gig a couple of days back who wouldn't tell me on how to clean his place but complains after FOUR days of waiting instead of complaining about it IMMEDIATELY or discuss this with me like an adult should have been. I hope that this client will have his karma straight back at him because honestly, had I known he was going to do this, I would have never accepted it. Hopefully, next time, I'll be more careful on who to choose from now on.

Dont control people's mindset... again, that is hit me, when i talk about my boundaries and princip or mindset, people always disagree that, and sometimw gaslighting me.. and hurtfuly is, they try to manipulate me to trust their opinion

I don't know why, but I often feel quite guilty if I have to change. i know I'm toxic, but I feel so bad for the others I've already affected, and it feels unfair that others got better treatment then they did.

i definitely need to check my ego, i can get really defensive really quickly unless i’m able to realize beforehand that this person, whoever i’m talking to, is going to disagree with me and / or say something i don’t like

Sounds helpful!!i also have issues with avoiding or delay difficult conversation or drama!!bc i could be easily escapist about it when people keep attacking me for saying something stupid,offensive or a little bit toxic!!I'll try my best to fix it and to not being a toxic person!!ty

Thank you for your good upload schedule 😊

I had - have? - an ego. I took me decades to realize and see it for what it was, but now I’m putting in the work to dismantle it, part by part, link by link.

Dear people who are in the process of realizing your toxic behaviors, of experiencing having lived out the worst in yourself and outgrowing it, remember every moment, when you feel alone, you are worthy and brave, to follow that instinct that there should be a better way and to be willing to face the unfair sight of yourself for that. You are lovable and forgivable. To keep that from yourself would be very toxic aswell! Don't hate yourself forever! Your joyfulness is urgently needed by the world

I have BAD attachment issues and I can be destructive and argumentative. It hurts to find out I’m so called evil and immature n people need to get away from me. I’m toxic due to past trauma not evil. It hurts me to hurt others but the root is the attachment and abandonment issues. They cause me to do whatever and say whatever to keep you in my world. And then when all is said n done n they leave….maaaajjjorrrr depression!! No good. If you’re toxic and you’re in a relationship n messed it up, try not to feel too bad. Mostly you don’t attract a perfect mate or a non toxic person anyway when you’re like this. They most likely were toxic too because like attracts like. So don’t feel sooo bad. I found it extremely easy to blame me and only me. And still do a little.

Yes I know him. That's me

I like to call being able to do a paradigm check on yourself during a discussion, the perspective point in thinking that's absolutely worth striving for anyone looking to build a life for themselves.

I relate to all of these points and I have alot of work to do. I hate being toxic. Why am I jealous, why am I sarcastic. I'm sick of this ish! I need hypnosis.

I have no problem seeing stuff from other peoples perspective as long as they have a logical input rather than an emotional one. That is when I become frustrated.

we need a vid of coping with toxic people

"Number 2, don't test other" So school is toxic? Roger that.

Your voice is so calming that it makes it easier to consume the given information

In my past relationship I was toxic, I would put off topics that needed to be talked about. And I wouldn't fully articulate what I was feeling. I lied 3 times and every time I lied it was rather brought up by her (as in asking me the question a second time and be answering truthfully there) and for the last one I told her about it and I knew it would end everything. I hope to God that I can improve with hard work and therapy but that would never undo what I did. Because what I did is truly not okay and undeserved

1). Check your ego (she failed) 2). Don't test others (she failed) 3). Don't gossip (she failed) 4). Don't be a doormat (she failed) 5). Don't control people's mindsets 6). Don't avoid or delay difficult conversations (she failed)

I'm watching this in class. Love y'all

Another great video! Keep it up Psych2Go!

I've all of these trait Before I just wanted to be happy in life and now I want to control everyone since I've found about manipulation Now I think i'm not that much into it so I can still change And I hope so I can change Peace is all I desire ❤️✌️

This channel helps me improving as a person. I'm working hard everyday to become a decent human being, and quality content like these wonderful videos are helping me a lot. Thank you very much 💖

I realized that I was the toxic person in our relationship when my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. I've been careless with him, he felt underappreciated. He was very patient and understanding and I was a whole mess. I, drained him, I ruined him, I lost him, and I regret it, but I learned from it. I'll strive to be the better person today.

I did a #6 about 8 months ago, and have been seething over it ever since. It's seriously damaged my feelings for my friend because the issue never got resolved, and it never got resolved because I just didn't want to fight about it. In hindsight it probably would've been better if we fought over it because at least some kind of conclusion probably would've came from it.

How do you help a child/teen who enjoys being “toxic”, and exhibits some symptoms of sociopathy?

👏👏👏Great video! We all need to check it ourselves from time to time👍

Just like the line, I learned in oddly health class. Instead of saying “calm down” say “I see you’re mad, but what are you gonna do about it?” Unless they’re mad at you that could cause a larger fight.

Can we please get a video on how to comfort people 😭 we don't know how to properly comfort and make people feel better

Oh shit I might have some toxic tendencies 🤦🏾‍♀️.

I'm here to evolve as a better person I ruined my relationship and just got pissed off due to my toxic behavior. Hope the girl forgives me. I'll surely change for a better life.

And the last situation that happened with my friend, he noticed now is that when they were waiting to enter their class, she was with her friends, and suddenly the guy she liked appeared at her friend's place in the place where they were her friends Because he too had to come To wait with the rest to enter the class, as she was normal looking only like that because she did not see him because her friends were hiding from her and she could not see him, but only this way she looked from a certain direction until that boy she loved appeared and the place she was looking at was what as you think Because it is the same place where he appeare The boy she likes So he looked at her and did not move from his place And with that, the two looked at each other, and she was shocked, and she could not look away. This matter continued for a few seconds, and he looked away and continued his way, perhaps, but then she looked at her friend and said, perhaps he was looking at her friend because sheHe was close to her and she thought he was looking at her and she was also looking at him or she said maybe he wasn't looking at her either And he looked behind her, and there was something or his friend behind her, or he was looking for the class in which we would study, and he finished. You really what do you think of that Please answer me

I'm glad I'm not toxic, but I hate being such a doormat. I've always been told to stand up for myself, but I really don't like retaliating and worry about worsening the situation, so it's difficult sometimes.

I love your videos ❤️

I just realised when you’re around toxic people it’s hard to not counter them with toxicity as well

thank you for when I was depressed for like 1-2 months you only motivated me and now I am fine.

I think the issue is people lack the ability to see that people aren't being purposely offensive coupled with these same people, having unrealistic social expectations. Your friends shouldn't have to tip toe around your issues and sensitivity, and if something simple bothers you, it should be able to be talked about.

I was a doormat. I’ve suffered for it. Over the last 2 years, I started standing up for myself and trying to talk about those difficult conversations. Not too many people are happy with me saying no. I just left an extremely toxic workplace where I spent 17 years being the yes employee, which of course, made me the doormat and object of people dumping their jobs on me. When I started standing up for myself, I was called a bitch. Being a doormat attracts toxic people like a magnet. Don’t try to people please. It will never be enough for the assholes in your life.

'But it's important to remember that change is always possible' No it isn't. I'm autistic. What others perceive as defensive or controlling usually isn't. I can control how I act to a degree, but doing so is dangerous, and I can't control how others misinterpret my actions.

thank you very much❤, that's was so helpful to me, We forget ourselves sometimes, i'm appreciate your efforts for helping people، And I'm eager for more in the coming days✨💕.

I am jumping to conclusions & pushing my husband away. I love him & don't want to be toxic. I think I'm going to look more into the ego thing. We both have been working to be better, he's doing so much better than I. I believe in chang & can see it, I just jump to incorrect conclusions.

I recently broke up with a toxic ex, and it was one of the worst relationships ever. They always told me that they were right, and when I offered my perspective they dismissed it and told me I was wrong, even for little things. After we broke up they began to gossip about me, even lying to my friends, placing me in constant anguish. They even had made me believe that I was in the wrong, but when one of their friends (who sided with me) told me I was right, I stepped back and realised that they were the one who was hurting us. They had a lot of issues that I tried to overlook, but overlooking problems in a toxic relationship can be extremely harmful to both people. I should have spoken up but I didn't, and now I suffer because of it. If you take anything from this, then know that its better to speak up about the problems you face rather than hiding them and allowing them to build up

I needed to hear this one. Thank you for this video Amanda and @Psych2Go.

🌎WHO Else missunderstood "Empath Listening vs Problem Solving" Fe vs Fi? WHO Else Likes the Boat Animations at the Ocean? Gesh. ☺️🕊️ I tried to solve stuff, Like make them Happy again, but that is Not validating and appreciating their Feelings. By doing so, ITS: Simply listening and asking for how they feel, and If they wanna Tell. 💖

The reason why I’m defensive is not that I don’t try to understand their point of view. On the contrary, I try to understand their point of view/intention so much so that I can read through their bullshit. Sometimes criticism is warranted other times it’s to put you on a leash

I can have an ego about being right during debates, but when the alternative feels like losing my rights what choice do I have? I can't concede any ground to transphobia, people in my country want to *hurt* us. I have to convince them to stop

i think gossiping is my worst trait but when people tell me things i feel sooooo overwhelmed

I was a very toxic person when it came to competition and when i started avoiding it it started getting better its why i gravitate more towards cooperative outlets more now

Well guys this isn't related to this vid but it is to alot of other content on this channel but this might be it. My last Friday, my last weekend, the last time I go to a birthday party. I've been watching myself and my life fall apart all around me and so I found a way to fix it. If I'm dead i wont suffer with watching everyone around me enjoy life whilst I can't enjoy it with them, I won't have to sit by and watch everything about me collapse into oblivion. Enjoy ur life everyone if I make it through the weekend then I will update everyone gl out there guys go do what i never could :)

i'm very toxic and I'm tired of it

Im literally 100% a toxic Person. This video is a Definition of me

Well, I don't know. I have watched so many videos on how to improve yourself including how not to be toxic. The more I watch the videos and receive same tips, the less motivation I get to actually do these things. Yeah, I watched the videos about 7 types of people you can't help, can't believe I am one of them (low self esteem), yet trying to help myself and keep failing. I don't know, any tips for "unfixable" people on how to improve yourself?

I sometimes use mean spirited jokes and when others get upset, I just say it's a joke and to calm down. I sure I've lost a few friends because of it and after being told off twice today,I realized I have an issue 🫤 I also tend to say negative things like "meh,it won't last long" or "we'll see how long they last" and I'm tired of it. I'm not a bad person at all and consider myself empathetic and nice, but I can sometimes be a douche that uses mean jokes because they make me feel superior in a way

I've been toxic for 2 years and I just don't care about anything or anyone. But this video has helped me that I must be a people person cuz not everything is about me

Second! also i kind of am toxic so this will help

As much as I compromise, compromise cannot be a one-way street. If the people around you are not willing to change, isn’t it just better to walk away?

There is nothing wrong with being toxic, and most women enjoy it. Less toxic equals more boring. Women and men love fighting and drama. I am a bully and i will always take what i want, i dont care if people dislike me.

I seriously wanted to send this to my ex-crush he's such a narcissist and toxic person

I was yelled at and aggressively handled since very young since I was raised by my grandmother and not both parents… it seems I always defensively choose to raise my voice and get loud even if internally I feel no true emotions of anger or feel that way… I truly love yet am judged and hated for my reactions to being hurt….

Being able to admit when he wrong

I know I am a toxic boyfriend. I tell my girlfriend to breakup with me when we both feel our relationship isn't as strong as it used to be. She want to breakup with me reminding me of how I've treated her our whole relationship. Even I don't want to be drain by me. I'm here to change, I hope it's not too late

Before watching this I can just say that i do have ALOOOOOOT of toxic traits and toxic moments in my life that I'm not proud of but I'm overall a really good person. And I've had one of my friends say that my qoute on qoute "toxicity" isn't noticeable until someone starts hating me or I accidentally anger them💀WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ISTG-

This is how you prove your friends they are toxic when they deny it

There's a bunch of things I hate and look down on, but people like them and I keep speaking in a way that might offend them. I really need to work on it but its been difficult.

The one about not being a doormat it tough. How you not be one without casing trouble in the process? I know I can’t please everyone but when I want to voice my opinions I’ve been conditioned to expect a response that turns me back into a doormat or cause trouble that I started by saying something.

I’m not toxic but I just wanted to double check because I get gaslit by people.