Seth Learns How to Make the Perfect Martha Stewart Martini 

How the heck u not calling it quarentini

"A little bit of vodka" *Proceeds to dump the bottle*

“My groom is on quarantine.” #thestruggleisreal

Loving the craziness of talk show quarantine. What god damn strangeness going on.

You should go day drinking with Martha Stewart when things go back to “normal”.

Here's to nursing martinis and America's nurses!

I can't believe nobody said quarantini. Side note, on a scale of 1-Gwenyth Paltrow, how out of touch is Martha Stewart? I'm putting her at a 9

This is the other definition of insanity.

A lovely look into how the rich feel about everyone else

PLS GET BILL HADER OR JOHN MULANEY ON THE SHOW!!!

Her kitchen is bigger than my apartment. Cheers !!!

Thank You For the absurdity of this. Wonderful, thoughtful distraction for the crazy s*** going down. Stay safe stay drunk. 😘 Seth and Martha!

I think Martha Stewart needs to do home videos with her detainees!! 🙏😂❤️

She's definitely holding the gardener, driver and housekeeper against their wills.😏

To be able to say , hmmm I think I wanna cook and have that kitchen with every accessory you need and every random ingredient too. I’m always out of at least five things on a recipe list💀

Did she say the quiet part out loud? Imagine keeping your staff at home so you don't have to bother with cleaning, gardening or driving yourself during quarantine...

"If they want their jobs, and they wanna not get sick, they're staying here." Do we need to have a rescue operation from Martha Stewart's house? I feel like this is the beginning of a horror movie... Seriously though, that's some really threatening language.

Horse back riding.. lol TLDR; I'm Martha Stewart, and I'm rich, suckers

Normally I enjoy the Martha segments, but there's just something about seeing massively wealthy people with servants and freezers full of food enjoying their downtime while the world suffers from crushing sickness, anxiety and financial calamity that's a huge turn off right now. 🤷‍♀️

careful with knives. the hospitals are busy. great advice!

I love how annoyed, Seth is, and quietly making fun of Martha and very uneasy by her stupidity and insensitivity

Anyone else cringe when she called the “detainees”?

If you're going to own a horse and keep it at your residence, learn to groom it FFS. Can you put the bit in? Can you saddle it? If you ride it, groom it. If you have a car, learn to drive. If you have a house, clean it. You've written enough fucking magazine articles about it. Or someone has. If your grounds are too big to take care of , maybe move to the city. To a nice apartment so you don't have to worry about the lawn, the flowers , the garden. It's hard. Your staff should be able to go home. You're an adult who is not of the age that she cannot take care of herself.

Anyone else thinking about how Martha Stewart's house is the exact premise to Parasite?

"We were all drinking those drinks with the rhubarb liqueur, flying to Siam on Zeppelins and chatting with the Duke of Castlevania."

I'm sorry, but a martini without GIN and OLIVES does not qualify as a martini unless your making it in a foxhole.

I love their rapport, they seem genuinely fond of each other

umm she hasn’t given them a day off yet??? wtf they are detainees

0:48 Martha Stewart in a pandemic, explaining that she can go horseback riding again *once her groom comes back from quarantine on Saturday* is probably the worst thing she's ever done-and this woman has been to JAIL.

it's like watching Parasite all over again, huh... how prophetic

I mean, I guess it's nice, what Martha is doing but I can't help but be resentful of these Hollywood elites as I worry about my house being foreclosed in a couple months

WTF?

Love Martha, but it would be awesome if she could manage to have a charity pick up some of those eggs at the end of her driveway to be distributed to the less fortunate. ❤️

Only Martha Stewart would quarentine with her gardener, her maid and her driver! What a rough life! Must be nice! I guess that's what jail does to a person! LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Must feel good to be rich, get fat and drunk, the poor are hungry. EAT THE RICH!

"Late Night with Seth Meyers"...at 1:55 pm.

The perfect martini... with vodka?!? MARTHA!! The perfect martini is made with gin!!

From handicraft on HBO to Martini's on RU-vid the good life

Omg, I love quarantined Martha. She's tres casual. I want to be a detainee.

So she just admitted to imprisoning her employees under threat? This is publicly broadcast? like federal agents, lawyers, judges just shrugging that one off watching

“Oh of course! Aperol Spritz” my Lord! This whole thing is pathetic. Do these people not want to be home with their families?!?!

“You can get a little martini shaker like this” Not sure if it’s an essential trip, MARTHA.

We make ours with blueberries and just enough blue curaçao to add a bit of color.

Reminds me of when she got out of prison and was under "estate arrest".

MARTHA, THAT IS NOT A MARTINI. THAT IS A _VODKA_ MARTINI. Given your refusal of embarrassment, though (which I heartily applaud), I retract my outrage. Bottoms up.

Cmon Martha, vodka instead of gin? Isn't it early in this whole ordeal to drop all that is true and good?

Celebrities! They’re just like us.

The glitchy 'Shlorp shlorp' sound of that drink being shaken is right out of P-Hub.

Seth Meyers is the funniest of the nighttime tv hosts. His alcohol humor is tone-deaf, though.

She's so hard to connect with.

This American nurse thanks you.

I’m beyond jealous. I bought crappy Walmart eggs today because NOBODY else had them in stock in my town 😭 Martha... can I be in your Xmas list??? Lol. SETH: “uhhh... ur not like embarrassed you don’t have martini glasses??” Lol 😂. Seth your priceless “Uhhhh............ sex on the beach”????...... huh???? And definitely cheers to nurses. They will be the lifeline in our near future 😁

" I stitched myself up...April's Fool."

i wish that was my kitchen :)also your a treasure Martha stay safe Seth

Martha really looks like the lovely and kind grandma of my neighbor

So many professional bartenders right now in the World is cringing... Why do American chefs think they make good cocktails?? Doctors don't make good dentists... Just cause she doesn't give her viewers any measurements,, one basic recipe is 2 ounces gin or vodka. 1/2 ounce dry vermouth. 1/2 ounce sweet vermouth (there are so many personal ways). Also we never shake (traditionally cocktails that are all spirit, as is the case with a Martini, should be stirred, while cocktails with a juice mixer should be shaken) and stir martini's cause it offers you better control over your drink. Don't do what she does, this is how your mum makes martini's at home...

OMG. She keeps her staff as peasants. No I mean surfs. Slaves? Seriously though, couldn't she survive quarantine without forcing her staff to remain with her. And if they end up looking frayed, she'll give then the day off. Maybe she was joking? Perhaps the humor is to dry, even for me.

Martha gets prison time for making 10k from selling her stock, we can have U.S. senator make millions from inside info and crickets......

Pretty fuckin awkward half the country is dying and you to are making cocktails. SERIOUSLY!

Wow. If you thought you were rich Martha explained your not. If you thought you were entitled, your not. I think the word she was looking for is indentured.

Give me pickle juice plain or with vodka. I'm good either way.

seth's gentle but real mocking of Martha is great. She should have been self aware enough to have self mocked herself.

I mean it low key sounds like a horror movie. but I'm sure she has a mansion

She stitched herself???? She's like a domestic Rambo

People are dying and you’re talking about MARTINIs??? I can’t even....

Lmfao I love how she's quarrantined with her latino workers and she's just making cocktails for everyone all day on her farm.

Is Martha on day release??? I had no idea criminals were fair game the late nights

Thank you Seth Meyers, Late Night and Martha Stewart

VOTE Blue for facts and science again!!

Love Martha .. she's awesome..

Thanks Martha.

Haha, Seth was hilarious during this interview

cut her hand? why did she not call her doctor and / or go to urgent care ??

Are you fucking kidding me, can they get any more out of touch.

Glad to see Seth checking on his mom in these trying times

Normally I like Martha, but now she's annoying.

Blanket stitch is actually a real suture pattern. It’s called Ford Interlocking but it is the same as the embroidery stitch

Aperol Spritz is an aperitif. 😅

Do Not Kill those chickens or geese.

martha ask if i wanna see her make the perfect martini. me: no.

I love how fond Seth is of Martha

Finally something useful.I want to drink a martini now.thanks Martha.

Way too much vermouth, splash in the glass, swirl it around and dump it out.

while the starving

Seth: "Hello, Martha!" Camera cuts to Marth-- Me: *"Pink St. Germain?? **_What's about to happen here??_** 😐"*

A marthatini

I wonder if she eats her chicken

I legit thought Martha Stewart cut and stitched her own hand. She scares me just enough that I'd believe that.

I think she's loaded

That looks more than “a little bit of vodka.” Also, shaker is more exciting to use if you don’t hold the little cap at the top.

The name and image of the Jesus on the cross is the false christ the world has been serving instead of God? Deuteronomy chapter 5 “I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery. 7 “You must not have any other god but me. 8 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind, or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 9 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected-even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. 10 But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those[b] who love me and obey my commands. 11 “You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God. The Lord will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name. 12 “Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you. 13 You have six days each week for your ordinary work, 14 but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your oxen and donkeys and other livestock, and any foreigners living among you. All your male and female servants must rest as you do. 15 Remember that you were once slaves in Egypt, but the Lord your God brought you out with his strong hand and powerful arm. That is why the Lord your God has commanded you to rest on the Sabbath day. 16 “Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God commanded you. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. 17 “You must not murder. 18 “You must not commit adultery. 19 “You must not steal. 20 “You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. 21 “You must not covet your neighbor’s wife. You must not covet your neighbor’s house or land, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor. 22 “The Lord spoke these words to all of you assembled there at the foot of the mountain. He spoke with a loud voice from the heart of the fire, surrounded by clouds and deep darkness. This was all he said at that time, and he wrote his words on two stone tablets and gave them to me. Matthew chapter 5 27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye-even your good eye causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand-even your stronger hand -causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Matthew 18 5 “And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf[a] is welcoming me. 6 But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. 7 “What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting. 8 So if your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand or one foot than to be thrown into eternal fire with both of your hands and feet. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. 10 “Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father

Love Martha Stewart

Martha is straight gangsta lol bad@s$ love it!!

it's all good until the only food left is in Their house.. cya in a few months.. i'll be wearing the mask and a baseball bat

She is a national treasure. So much love and respect for Martha.

I have never envied Martha Stewart for anything except for that enormous bowl of eggs.

yikes Martha, your housekeepers are doing non-essential worker. Give them paid leave now.

Well shucks Martha makes quarantine fun. I don't have all the diversions here. And she has rhubarb. Yum. Impossible to find good rhubarb here.

OMG thank you for hosting your show again - I soooo needed this today - Thank You

Oh for f&$k sake why am I watching a rich lady at her farm house.? The penthouse must be getting worked on. I have to file for unemployment , look for toilet paper .plus call my Mom who’s in a nursing home I haven’t seen in weeks. But for gods sake I hope Martha’s f$&king geese are ok😡