*She's not wrong and she should say it* The Male Loneliness Epidemic by Shoe0nHead 

For a man, there is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. Just don't expect any acceptance or empathy from other people.

There is a follow up video to this. You should see it sometime.

I'm only halfway through your reaction and I had to pause it to write this, but thank you. See, you're making something that I like to call "sense." I have always tried to go out of my way to be polite to people, even if they're being complete jerks (or whatever term you want to substitute) for two main reasons: I was raised learning the "do unto others" philosophy, and I really got a full understanding of what that meant early on because I got bullied all the time growing up. First by kids at school, then by my sibling, then by the people running the special ed program I was forced into, then by my own mother. And that's just the order those parties started their bullying in, there was almost always some overlap somewhere. I was tricked, I was ignored, I was blamed for things I never did, I had my buttons pushed until I got angry on purpose so there was "justification" for being grounded. I even got in trouble for trying to be the bigger person and walking away before I lost my temper. And through all of that, I chose to look at all of those experiences as a comprehensice guide on how not to treat people. I will always, always try to be polite, like you did with that Karen. But with so many unhinged mindsets out there today, combined with this need to cry wolf for the slightest perceived offense? It's honestly kind of scary talking to women now. I usually try to let them make the first move, which doesn't happen often, but when it does I know they're worth knowing. But to stop rambling, thank you for saying what you're saying here. It's always good to see anyone out there still making sense.

You see the problem really stems from a young age because like as a guy you're told you're basically no one like I am always screamed at for not being the best like the way people treat us is almost perfectly designed to either turn us into a emotionless husk or psychopath and most of the times the spotlight points towards the psychopath which paints all of us as such

As a man who's alone, it's very simplistic to reduce men's issues to "men can't be vulnerable or show their feelings". It might be a portion of the problem, but definitely not its entirety. The problem with this and the "toxic masculinity" discourse is also an assumption that in order for men to be OK and healthy we need to be more like women or at the very least operate emotionally in a way that women do, when men often have other ways of coping and processing their emotions than women do, and that's valid too. Men in today's society face an array of issues, some of which have little or nothing to do with our emotions. It could be financial issues, various dating issues, being constantly demonised and told you're useless and trash. When women say they'd choose a bear over a man in a forest, men get that message loud and clear. We're told we're creeps, not to approach, that women don't need us and that you have to be a certain height or income bracket to even be considered for dating. You mentioned it's not women's fault, and I agree it's not all women's fault, but there's certainly a subsection of women that contribute to men's struggles, especially with loneliness.

Women dont like it when guys cry

I consider myself a bit more emotionally aware than most men... but I just can't find anyone who wants to let me into their friend group, everyone seems like they don't have time. schedules don't line up and nobody wants to make the effort to hangout.

I think sometimes women miss the point of this issue in the sense that many men face way more mockery and ridicule for attempting to express any feelings from women than they ever do from men. Men react by not caring and blowing you off, and that's it. It's very rare that one will actually trash you for it. Women? Many of them will wreck you for daring to not be invulnerable 24/7, especially if you dare to suggest you need their support because "they're not your mother" and of course only your mother would give half a fuck about you and even then the same people will probably criticize you for being a mama's boy if you do ask for her help and support. You alluded to this at the start of the video when you mentioned that it's not fair for a partner to have to do all that labor because men supposedly don't have a support network like women do, which is a totally fair point. But if that's the case, how is it that said support network needs to consist of other men and exclude your partner because she's a woman, especially when said woman does rightfully expect you to support her and her emotional needs despite actually having a support network comprised of other women? Much like sexism, it's not something that just involves men, and women have a huge role in how society propagates these ideas. This issue does not boil down to "Other men designed a society where men can't express feelings and they don't support each other" because half the population are not men and they operate the same way either because they agree with the idea that men should not express feelings or, weirdly enough, because they don't agree with it but it's somehow not their problem if they mock them because of some technicality in their p.o.v. regarding the intent of that mockery.

"Thats wack". Thats cenks nephew in a nutshell.

I'm glad that you talked a lot in the video, most of the times, we man just hear the complains and no support.

We seriously do not mind you adding nearly a second video's worth of content, especially when you at least were willing to say half-way through that "oh... I said that... but there is more, isn't there". As to the toxic levels we are in now, my biggest worry is because Shoe, Pearl, a few others... and now yourself... are some of a very limited positive places for a man (cis man at least) on the left. There seriously is not a counterbalance to the men who say "women have taken everything from you" (they did not, but we do not want to get into who did), so more and more men are moving right... and that is not a good thing for anyone. As a moderately conservative man who loves history, where things are headed is not good for society in general... and like it or not, when the collapse happens, women will be very affected. But it seems like very few are trying to keep it from happening, too busy trying to argue historical wrongs to see where it can end.

Not a bad break down on your end: I appreciate you being open minded about this. And, not to get into an entire entity/ies and turning the comments section into a furball: most folks I know so not take that tate guy seriously, along with what you've likely seen as the "face" of whatever group of men you care to name, along with many of the others, neither do they (again, the ones I know) blame women for all the problems. Hell, the videos I've seen of these "gurus" that eventually out themselves are over the top hilarious when they do come out, and trust me, they always do. Found you guys from the DBZA reactions by the way, love the content!

You should do a reaction to “Why Iroh is the pinnacle of masculinity” it follows this up perfectly and shows an example of healthy masculinity

Don’t forget LeVar Burton

i want to say one thing from personal experience back when i was around 17-18 and was trying to find a person to be in a relationship with. (honestly it was because of stuff you mentioned where things can make you feel like if you have not had sex or not been in a relationship you are a failure.) i have actively had a few different women threaten me with calling the police for trying to talk to them where by the time i turned 19 i just said fuck it and gave up. now i am 29 and never been in a relationship because i just don't care to even bother when all i see is it getting worse and worse by year by year. it really does feel like for the average man if you are not a rich person or drop dead gorgeous you have no chance. and one last thing about the patriarchy thing 100% it exists but harms men just as much if not more so then women, but it majorly benefits the 1-2% of men.

The people who do this think its ok because they're not sexist or not racist. But they don't ask why those things are bad. Who the victim is isn't what makes it bad. Its the way they dehumanize them so they don't feel guilty for how they treat them. They just do bad things to a different group of people instead, and then pat themselves on the back as if that makes them good people. And they don't ask why other people are sexist or racist when it's so easy for them to act that way. You'd think people who do that would be more self aware than that

As a bouncer and security I'we learned to listen too, boy have I listned and shook hands instead of fists. "See ya later after you have been sobered" - not "see you in court"... We have lost the balance between men and women,. Even my grandparents had valid loyal friends real BFF:s as in US is trend to talk... Wow! that Holzern is rather expensive in the top tear, but earrings start about US dinner invoice, not including tips, LOL (starting 37€ = 40$)...

1. Had depression and loneliness since childhood 2. Addictied to porn and Suicidal thoughts by the age of 16

Something that stuck with me for years is that in the 2010s, they opened what was like the first or second male Domestic Violence shelter in Canada. Within a few weeks, feminists forced it to shut down. Real nice to know that when feminism is heralded by every company and celebrity, you're telling us that that is what we're worth. Man, I'm lucky to have had a good childhood and family life.

The problem with the term “ toxic masculinity “ is that there isn’t a single instance you can point to that women are not also guilty of. There’s no such thing as toxic masculinity. Only toxic humanity.

34:20 that guy kinda looks like the chefs from little nightmares.

I cry in the shower so people don't see me. Also, glad I have two older loving sisters that I can talk to. It's crazy cause I fit that cateogry...no kids, not married, no college degree, etc. Just had 2 seizures and fell down the stairs and busted my face and eye up but I'm not complaining scared my mom and sisters though. Thank you to my sister for cleaning up my blood cause I almost bit my tongue off. Call me old school but as a guy I don't like wearing jewelery or watches and all that. Also, greetings from fellow Chicago resident. When I'm around a pretty woman I find attractive my brain completely shuts down and I'll probably say something stupid lol.

Norah Vincent didn't die for a $1,000 Sephora gift card to become a prerequisite to a phone number exchange.

In my experience men will either despise each other or be buddies almost immediately. It’s just if you talk to anyone who isn’t your male buddy 99.9% of the time your thoughts or opinions are either belittled, not taken into consideration, flat out ignores, or it’s somehow your fault. I have NO ONE in my life I can be 100% honest with bc I will always end up either comforting them or apologizing to them bc they got upset that I got upset and being upset as a man means you’re seen as violent. It doesn’t matter if I have a justification for being angry, or if I’m curled up in a ball on the floor in a panic attack, I am a threat for having a penis and negative emotions at simultaneously. I’ve been abused by both men and women physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially but if I get upset about that I’m effectively told “get over it it’s not as likely to happen to you (again) as it is to women” and if that isnt a sobering reminder to never open up about anything ever to anyone I have no idea what is

Men (who are friends I should stress) mock each other but it’s to make them stronger, not necessarily to tear them down. The reason is that showing emotion and weakness *will* be weaponized against you. And stocicism is necessary for men who can/will be forced to sacrifice themselves, whether metaphorically or literally, for others and for their countries. Also, and this comes from personal experience, the very people who have encouraged opening up are the ones who weaponize the vulnerability against you.

32:10 i kinda agree. Physical closeness between male friends was historically more tolerated a century ago. But i think its just one layer of the onion. Also the argument "(x goup) commits more crime, therefore its ok to hate them, and dismiss their problems" I think i heard it somewhere before.... Someone in a pointy hood was making that argument 43:50 what social programs have been privatised?

1:58 I've tried, every time I try to express my feelings to my best friend he'll listen for like 2 minutes and then he starts making jokes to change the subject. I usually just talk to my little sister any time I really need to vent. I feel bad for the guys that are only children.

I never thought I'd see you reacting to Shoe.

Ill say this i cried in front of a girlfriend 1 time after my mom died and 2 weeks later she broke up with me but ive cried in front.of my male friends and theve never insulted me or made me feel bad

Being a High value man isn't about just having money. Kevin samuels broke it down clearly, but after his death, women took the phase and made it just about money. You have to also have good moral values and are seen as a peer to other valuable men. Also, the red pill isn't about "blaming women" it's to help men recognize female nature so they don't waste time money and resources on the wrong woman.

32:13 Well, I think she means compared to all of history as a whole.

Highly rec Dr. K content if interested in more thorough and compassionate break down of issue and other similar issues. He is very good at showing a logical view point. One of favorite is a child raised to not feel their emotions and is punished if they complain. It makes perfect sense why that child is mess with lots of issues and needs help if they are not allowed to feel. We then force this on adults to go through same thing and expect them to be alright and yell at them how dare they complain and not be grateful. Then act surprise when they are broken in society.

Definitely watch the followup video "Men Deserve to be Lonely! Responding to Backlash over The Male Loneliness Epidemic"

I think part of the issue is that we use to have very defined standards for life such as being married by a specific age (at around 25). But we've adopted a modern mentality where people are now told that you don't have to strictly get married at around 25. While this may make them feel better in the short run, it doesn't really give them a defined goal of when to actually make it happen. Extremely driven people may be more able to do this, but others who are less driven may not. They may not have a clear vision and they could be deeply lost which may lead them to flounder in life. It potentially explains part of why there are tons of lonely men. They might be men with no clear goal, just ideas of what they vaguely want because of the erosion of standards.

Both sexes need to work together to make things better for everyone. Sadly, this fact is obscured by all the hate in the media and by other perpetrators of hate, whether they are certain men or certain women.

Damn shos gotten so big even Chicago reacts did a reaction

We are so cooked as a species

Maybe there are not high value humans but 100% low value ones, talking about the actual worst, like serial killers, pdf. files, or other REAL threats to society.

i cant even give my opinion on the matter because, as a man, i will either be called a beta by my fellow men, or a sexist by women. welcome to the 2020's, where being a man means you just have to shut your mouth and be a emotionless, unopinionated blank slate.

I miss Bob Ross too

Thank you

You thinking of zombieland?

6:50 welcome to zombieland?

One of the sad things about toxic masculinity is that it has warped the idea of Stoicism into meaning "showing no emotion" or "bottle everything up" and "do everything on your own" Marcus Aurelius (the most famous of the Stoicism philosophers) says in Meditations that he often would seek guidance and ask for help from his friends, family, and teachers about emotions he was feeling, or events he was facing. When facing a strong emotion or problematic event he did three things 1 step back and analyze it from an objective perspective "why am I feeling this way? What has caused this event?" 2 control his actions "what can I do to alleviate this feeling or fix this problem? " 3 accepted the will of fate " I have done what I can and now I must move on. What has happened or will happen is always as it was meant to happen."

25 years is hella early to get engaged ... society is wrong about that! I never had a partner and am 27 years old and thats totally fine and normal

shoe has a lot of good videos you should react to lauren

I fundamentally don't agree with the notion that the biggest issue is that society has expectations for it's citizens by a certain age. The reason why is that in every time period this has been the case and much worse than now. In the ancient times if you weren't devoted to certain religions by a certain age you could be branded a heretic and straight up hung or set on fire... Compared to the old days there are far LESS expectations on people to be ANYTHING by ANY age. Many people are more individualistic in their behavior than in any time period in history and most people have chosen to rebel against their families traditions whether religious or otherwise. The so called expectation you mentioned to be in a relationship by a certain age is a mere relic of an age long past where most people were of the Christian faith and believed in being married by a young age... Today fewer and fewer people believe in the sanctity of marriage or anything and yet you think it's the echo of those traditions causing todays issues? No it's the rebellion against all things traditional that is causing these issues. I even hear it in your voice, the rebellion against the expectations of the society... to me it's that perspective which has led society to where it is today.

Love zombieland

Nice shirt, looks good on ya

In pure generalities: republican = logical, democrat = emotional. Men = logical, women = emotional. Why is it so wrong to accept the fact that balance is the most important thing to achieve and it's literally built into our DNA. I will never understand why it is so vilified in society these days.

No, the solution is not "men be more open with your emotions" That's been proven wrong. If you get cut off in traffic, you're angry for 15 seconds and never think about it again. If you "express your emotions" and bitch about it for a week, well you're much more likely to think about that week at some point in the future, and get angry again, than your are to think about the 15 seconds again. Talking about how angry you are makes you angrier, not less angry. Talking about how sad you are makes you sadder, not less sad. The correct answer is women need to also not express their emotions. Since women go to therapists and take psychoactive drugs at 5 times the rate of men, the "share your feelings" idea is obviously the wrong one. the problem is men talk to you about our problems to find a solution so we no longer have the problem, and women say, "why don't you talk about it?" Because I can have thoughts without saying them out loud. I want a solution that makes the problem go away, not to wallow in the problem forever.

Jordan Peterson is actually an extremely intelligent man. Anna is way off base there. She just sees it through the lens of left and right politics. Peterson rarely talks about politics but actually about how to make yourself into something. The first thing he tells people in general is to make your bed. With your bed made every day you might have a feeling of accomplishment and clean your entire room. From there it might snowball into doing something or learning a new skill that makes you happy. Be dangerous is his next thought. You might think that thought is in itself dangerous, but the point of it he explains in detail. Be dangerous to those who would do harm to yourself and those under your protection is the primary gist of the thought. Without the ability to enact violence on a perpetrator, nobody will seek your protection which will lead to loneliness and despair. Without purpose (e.g. someone or something to protect or build) men become shallow husks of their full potential.

sometimes laurens jewelry and attire catch my attention. her necklace does look a little bit like a bikes lock to me. and thats a very fine dress. more makeup than usual. normally her styles tendency goes to darker colors and more casual clothing. the peachy and silver colors here are a very good match with the earphones, though.

I'm not saying there's no such problem among us, men, but let's be honest - we just don't give a shit, because we're built this way 😂

I like Lady Tate. She is vwry knowledgeable. I hope one day you guys also cover the men and women who decide, without ulterior motives or politics, to simply STAY single and not look for anything in anyone.

booba... booba...

Ah yes, the “ nefarious” Jordan Peterson… good job maintaining your Bias TYT. 😂

12:44 It is women's fault. It's their fault for being too good for me.

There is definitely value in people Some higher than other FACT WE live in a society Which can only move at the speed of the slowest So Them keeping society faster and then helping the slower ones keep up Are definitely a higher value player within a society You missed the point here In my opinion 😊

Now you need to watch "an apology to men, and response to shoeongead" by thoughtslime

It turns out that Tate is really good on Gaza. Maybe US imperialism too, but I'm not sure. He was skewering zionism and the genocide early. He just verbalises the logic of neoliberal economics, which is the logic of capitalism in itself, that treats people as competitive individuals who have to treat each other as objects to make a buck, whether that's using workers as disposable tools to be exploited until they break, or as commodities and recreational equipment to be bought and sold, making all relationships casual and all partners disposable and interchangeable. He's saying nothing original, or good or true, he's just saying the quiet part out loud. The problem is capitalism, and it is conventional capitalist economics which turns that dehumanizing, commodifying behaviour into hypothetical mathematical models (classical, neo-classical, liberal, neoliberal, Austrian, Hayek, Freidman, it's all the same and equally false). He dehumanizes women because he's already dehumanized himself, as well as all men. Mass loneliness is one of the outcomes of neoliberal policies being implemented for the last 50 years to make Mrs Thatcher's claim that "there is no such thing as society, only individuals and families" come true. This is one of the reasons, along with being a follower of Jesus, why I'm a collectivist. Individualism is axiomatically isolating and alienating, not just a reflection of alienation imposed by capital. One of the tasks of the faith, and of Marxism, is to rescue collectivity, as Vijay Prashad puts it. It's as collectives that we're strong, that we can take charge of our destinies and have friends and comrades and be in fellowship and give and get the help everyone needs. It's as collectives that democracy works, instead of always being hijacked and sabotaged by the richest individuals. Identity politics is also part of the problem, because it when it comes to men expressing their feelings and being able to have platonic relationships and platonic love (which is a central element of Christian teaching), it has just multiplied the number of ways it can be misread and denigrated as some form or another of clossetedness or not really being a man. When everything is a sexuality or a newly discovered gender identity, Platonic love is made to appear impossible or imaginary, whereas it's what friendship, collectivity and fellowship all depend on.

God bless Lauren for wearing that shirt