Should I Make Love With My Spouse During Marriage Difficulty?

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If your spouse is in an affair, and you’re wondering, “Should I make love with my spouse if they’re in an affair?” We are here to help. To start, Dr. Joe Beam earned his PhD from the University of Sydney in Australia, studying the causes and correlations between marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Specifically, he specializes in situations where a marriage is having difficulty/in crisis.
Also, be sure to get the free eBook: 7 Things to do when your spouse is cheating
marriagehelper.com/7-things-t...
One of the common questions Dr. Joe Beam receives is:
“My spouse is having an affair. He or she is involved with some other person. And yet, occasionally my spouse wants to come home. Be here with me. Things begin to get a little bit romantic, not necessarily a lot romantic because I can tell he, or she is still involved with the other person, but we wound up in bed with each other and we made love to each other. And I'm wondering because of the fact that my spouse is still continuing in an affair with the other person, should I do that? Should I make love to my spouse? Who's involved with another human being, (whether or not that affair is sexual or just emotional.) Should I be having sex with him or her?”
In today’s video, with Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes, you’ll discover some things to consider if you’re wondering if you should have sex while your spouse is in an affair. Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes will discuss the viewpoint from the angles of both spouses and provide you with a deeper understanding of this situation.
Remember, there’s not a simple “do this” answer, but if you think about these things, you will be better able to make the BEST choice for you and your situation. The key question is this: “What are you trying to accomplish?”
*Here at Marriage Helper, we do not advocate for people to stay in an abusive marriage. Learn more in our video on Toxic Relationships: marriagehelper.com/how-to-dea...
*Likewise, if you are in a situation where you’re experiencing abuse physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally, feel unsafe/scared, or your rights/freedoms are taken away from you, please get help IMMEDIATELY. The Hotline: www.thehotline.org/ helps you understand what abuse is and how to get help and get safe.
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Follow Kimberly on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes
Learn More About PIES University: PIESUniversity.com

Опубликовано:

11 окт 2020

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Комментарии : 52

@Kickerworks 2 года назад

My wife cheated on me and I started on pies. She even noticed how much I changed physically and how she put it. How I carry myself. I gained a bit of confidence back but still have the struggle of what she did. She found me attractive and wanted to go to bed together. It was already decided we're going to separate. So we did and our connection seem to be so much deeper like it was the last night on earth. We both knew things can't change overnight so we are still separated. We decided to work on ourselves and see if we are meant to be. I'm working on the 10-10-10 rule. It's nice to see what our future can be. Space is still needed but it all feels right when we hold each other. Time and consistency I guess.

@msdee2905 2 года назад

Please don’t say it’s making love. It’s just sex. If your spouse is in an adulterous relationship they are not “making love” to you. If they don’t honestly love you then it is only empty sex and the wife will feel used, abused. The wife should not have to compete in the bedroom for her own husband. When a spouse cheats usually they have been sleeping with their wife and their affair partner at same time. The wife just didn’t know. I would hate to get AIDS or herpes. A clear boundary needs to be established that if the husband will leave his affair partner then intimacy can be restored in the marriage in time. Trust and love needs to be rebuilt. Normally sex doesn’t save a marriage. A heart change in the adulterous spouse needs to happen so he can truly love his wife and family.

@timcole423 2 года назад

If a spouse is committing adultery, the sacred covenant of marriage has been violated, and sexual intimacy is a sham or a pretense. Such a situation requires clear boundaries and tough love, not a weighing of goals, risks, and benefits. I would say, “either turn your heart my way, or take the highway.”

@msdee2905 2 года назад

Instead of being intimate and having”sex”. Work on your friendship, and trust, work on integrity and commitment, love your spouse then make real love. Leave the affair partner and then rebuild your relationship with your spouse and make true love. It’s simple, do the right thing and honor your marriage bed by stop cheating and committing adultery. Repent of your sin, ask for forgiveness of your wife to reestablish intimacy in your marriage.

@donnasmith6978 2 года назад

YES, YES, YES... keep making love as long as neither one of you are dating or having sex with someone else or emotionally involved with someone else.

@volleyballjerry 3 года назад

I have actually heard of ex spouses hooking up and doing booty calls. I agree with Kimberly that after all the drama that it is more a feeling of being violated than exhilarated. Dr. Beam is correct regarding the complex set of emotions. The problem is that it is impossible for me to even

@bystandersarah 3 года назад

Having cake and eating it too: imagine a cake...it’s sitting there and looking enticing, beautiful and delicious... ok? There it is. A beautiful perfect whole cake .

@clintbailey8220 Год назад

I've had a similar situation happened to me, caught my wife before we married with another man and she had cheated prior to that a couple more times even with my best friends. I proceeded to forgive and try to forget but it is very hard to forget with an image in your mind. I've stopped bringing that up in conversation and as of right now I am separated and she keeps bringing it up because I have a p*** problem and she throws the reason why I cheated on you card. I want to win her heart back I have five children that I love dearly and I love her dearly but it's been 15 years of hard hard time. I hope there's time to where she can realize that I do help and I am a good asset with her and her children I'm very uneasy about the idea of not being with her. I hope these videos y'all post on RU-vid help I've been soaking it up like a sponge and trying to understand things and this one I can relate to because it's happened multiple times.

@snigicbryan 3 года назад

now i can put the two together. i wondered about the name Beam in the middle of Kimberly Holmes name. So it is Father and Daughter....wow...good

@gerijoz5628 3 года назад

The harder question is “ What should I do if the affair is with a coworker that he will works with ?”

@mariasuarez-vidot5745 3 года назад

I am currently in a different country but the topic is relevant.

@dallasgore5806 2 года назад

What about when my wife is in limerence still. Is she pretending I am him? Since she cannot be with him. That is my reality.

@kar3n35 3 года назад

This video it makes me mad. Because i dont take decisions on emotion only. I woulnt have sex because of health reasons. I take care of my body but what about that other woman? I would think his contaminated. Bio hazard.