SHOULD YOU QUIT YOUR BAND? (The answer may surprise you) 

You are absolutely right! I was invited to leave a band I had been in for 4 years way back in 1984. We were working a steady 4 nights a week in bars, also doing weddings, were the go to house band for a New York City radio station, and sometimes we would be doing 14 nights in a row before a day off, making good money, until I suggested we start doing original songs and start selling records at our gigs. I didn't understand the resistance I encountered from the other 3 members of the band. They acted as if I had suddenly gone insane. The interesting thing is that if I go into some of the dive, blue collar bars we used to play in back in 1984, I will still occasionally see some of those band members up on stage, now old, wrinkled, gray, fat, and balding, still playing the same 50s and 60s cover songs we played back in 1984! It took me a long time to get over the resentment of being kicked out of that band.... but you are 100% right. That type of gig is all they ever wanted out of music: to have fun, low stress, no road work, simple songs the crowd is familiar with, a couple extra bucks in their pocket, a night out of the house, maybe a groupie flirting with them out in the parking lot on break. I didn't see it at the time. I thought any musician that wasn't ready to go through hell and high water to succeed in a big way was a waste. But I see now in hindsight that they had already found their success. They had already achieved their goal. They had become the 1% of musicians that had made it out of the garage and were actually gigging. They weren't interested in burning out trying to be the 1 in a million musician who actually hits the "big time". Actually, their grasp on reality was clearer than my own! lol

Wow, that one hit home. Wasn't expecting that. I might have an uncomfortable discussion coming up...

After 40+ years of gigging, I recently stopped doing gigs. I live in a small town so the locals here are basically just hobbiest musicians who work regular jobs. My blood pressure is down and man!!! i am happy!! Playing with old guys who are mostly " daddies" and " husbands" and 9-5 day job guys was killing me. They talked about the same boring crap at the gig as the boring mamas and daddies we played to. That 15 minute break between sets was more tortuous than water boarding. They mostly talked about family and home renovations. Eeeek.... It didn't even feel like music. It felt like boring guys reminiscing about high school with their boring 9-5 co-workers as an audience. No passion, just daddies who want to play old crap for their 9-5 buddies. Give me a road band where the band members ask to not have their names disclosed because they have warrants. Dang! These locals in my town are nerds. And wouldn't dare make a joke or edgy comment on stage.

Explains my band name perfectly…Derek Hall & the Possibilities. It’s always possible that there will be a new drummer next time you see us. 😂

Recently I quit my situation. All of the trademarks listed were applicable. I just started making more money live looping as a "one man band" solo act on the side. I always like to try new things and get better so it made no sense for me to keep putting that energy in a stagnant project. I would make flyers, post at physical locations and on socials, hired a professional film camera man shoot a video, etc. None of those measures will bear any fruit if the band isn't doing anything as a unit to get better. It took almost a decade to realize that but I'm glad that I'm out. Especially given how unceremoniously I was replaced. I was just texted today "yeah you don't have to show up for the remaining dates we got someone to replace you". Obviously would have been awkward to play dates while the band was looking for my replacement so I'm glad that was avoided but the text was so casual. No thank you for the time in the band. Oh well onward and upward!

You can be in more than one band. You can be in a friend band, and also be seeking out a more professional band. Just make sure you’re giving the adequate priority to the band that is doing what you’re interested in. If the friend band needs more time that you need to give to the gigging band, then of course you’ll have to disappoint them, but at least you have some friends. Friend bands don’t necessarily need to have a hard number of member roles. If they need another drummer to replace you when you’re not there, maybe you can show up with bongos when your time isn’t committed to the gigging bad. The thing that bothers me is when people feel like they need to choose 1 over the other, when sometimes they don’t.

Wise council. As a competent hobbyist/hired gun, I subscribe to the following doctrine, although I can't remember which musician originally said it: Money, music, hang . . . Pick two. If at least two of the three aren't present, I'll pass on the gig. Tommy Tedesco added a fourth component: Connections.

this is so underrated, a lot of good info

Another great video man. As someone who kind of teeters on both types of described bands, I fully agree with you. I am involved in a Tribute Band network that does pretty good money-wise but I am also in a couple weekend warrior type bands. One thing though, those weekend warrior bands that I am in are actually pretty good bands that constantly change their sets, and give a real show to patrons, and has a wide variety of stuff to play. I am long past trying to make music into my career but I also refuse to play in a band that sucks. I'd say I probably pull in an extra 15k or so per year and I am very happy with that because my day gig pays me well. I guess what I am saying is not all the weekend warrior bands that take in 100 per person suck or just want to get wasted and play butchered versions of songs. There are certainly a good amount of them out there though.

A lot of people, I think, get into a paradigm where they just don't ask those kind of questions, until it's too late, and even then may not understand what's going on. It's particularly painful in a situation where one forms or joins a project with people who are friends outside the band. If goals are incompatable there's that extra incentive not to quit/fire somebody because of the friendship, although there is guaranteed to be friction in the band despite it.

I joined a punk/ska band and recently quit after gig 8. I loved playing live and the music. The first gig had the red flags , but I stuck with it a bit to see how it would pan out. I did never communicate like an adult, and got some what disrespectful with them out of frustration before I left.Behind closed doors though never infront of an audience. I was also sacrificing time from my business (losing money) and putting another project on hold. On the first gig the band booked a house party , they were getting paid but did not mention it to me, OK COOL I GUESS. Ill jump through this loop to prove myself. Ontop of wanting me to learn the 10 originals (within a week or so time, only 1 band practice for an hour and 2 of the other members didn't show) they wanted me to bring my PA to provide sound for the gig, and even went as far to ask for a mixer (my beloved Tascam Model 12) and to do the sound , Mic the kick drum, make sure the vocals are good, etc. This was a smaller house party.They did lend me a guitar amplifier and I rode with them to the show. 2 of the members partied with a certain substance equal to coffee, and to me I don't judge, more power to you, but its a bad sign for transparency and fairness. I have always played out of the love of it but I felt overwhelmed with the demands. This band has it together in other senses, booking the shows, connections, not really that bad of a group of people, willingness to help. I came through like a champ, my playing actually improved the band somewhat ( I was told by a few people after the gigs that have seen the band before). I had asked about the money situation a couple of times lightly to which the reply was " we make peanuts your share goes to the band, you can try to fight us and maybe we'll give you $20" As a victim of gun violence and someone who had to defend their life and business in the last year from a robbery gone wrong, why do I have to "fight" for my share. I was told that the band would be payed "x" amount and then I have to hear from the promoter of the show that its a different amount(more money). I have felt really split because I truly love punk ska and have played it for a long time, almost a specified niche. I took a chance with it and it didn't quite pan out. Even with a gang of thieves you are explained the situation and where the cut goes, there's a transparency for a common goal, with this group as much as I wanted to make the connection, there was a disrespect that does not sit well with my internal values. I am not well off but can care less about money if I am shown transparency. I highly value my originals and I just could not bring myself to share that part of my music with the characteristics I faced. It is a funny conundrum the thin line between rocking out and giving it your all because of nervousness and first joining a band ,to the later gigs where you can feel like an animatronic rat from chuck e cheese band up there questioning things. To anyone who read this whole book thank you and just stand firm in your beliefs and decisions. YES I miss playing live, YES I want to play fast punk, YES it is a pita to get musicians to rip and that's why these days I try to dabble with Dub. I am fortunate enough to be able to play the instruments and use the music as a therapy more than a cash cow. Incredible how the musician money cliches are true from the most basic of musician to the most studied master musician.

I've just turned 69 and started on stage at age 12. I've been in (mostly cover) bands that were regionally and nationally successful as well as flogging a dead horse in bands that played their own material. That's a lot of time and experience. Things change and not always for the better. There are too many bands and too few venues nowadays and promoters know it. The results are: pass around the hat; hire the venue & staff and you are the promoter; pay a half-way name band to support them in a name club ("pay to play") or simply play for nothing. If you answer to gig offers on musicians' portals as soon as they appear, you find out nonetheless that you're number 1501 on the list already. You can always play for free. Polishing doorknobs is tiring if the rest of the band don't chip in with the work - majority of musicians are lazy. Using an agent is dangerous - they'll sell a grunge band to an old peoples' home. my jazz-funk band at the time was once sold to a youth club that listened to hip hop. We were glad to get out alive. It's probably easier to do some homerecording, upload it and hope for a few clicks.

Great advice and youre 100% Right!🎤🎸👍🎼

So heres a thing ( very very short version of the story.) i am asked for a thrash metal coverband, i have no experience with covers, the moment i met the guys (just kinda business meeting so no musical thingy) we discussed who we are and what experiences we have and so on. I told them i will become a father at the end of februari We decided to take 3 covers and practice those for our first rehearsal session. Now looking for a time was very difficult, goung so far thst the drummer started asking me if i can arrange the delivery of our baby different, so that we would have time to rehears on the 17th of februari (due date was 20) After a few weeks singer de ided that we can 5 instead of 3 , i sId im not sure i can make it. I did it ,but before the first rehearsal im allready fed up, i had to cut corners on the orriginal basslines of the songs and im literally pissed of because of that singer dude not rsspecting me telling them that i first wanna jam and allready srrange 2 gigs. Thr drummer with the INSANE comment " cant you ask your wife to deliver later?" Just left me flabbergasted. So am i the problem here? Or are they?

I've been finding that I become the primadona (lead singers.... an I right?) for expressing what I'd like to happen or for pointing out that things aren't sounding very good. When I join a band I always ask what the goal is and they all say the same thing, We want to be good and do it right and play the songs the way they're supposed to be played. Then, it always seems I'm only one actually working on the songs per the original recordings, at home, by MYSELF, and everyone else is trying to do it from memory, and their memory isn't all that good. I just had a guitar player disagreeing with me about how many measures between vocal parts. I'm like, "I'm counting the measures from the original recording." He then decides to prove me wrong by pulling up the original and figuring out, "oh. I guess you were right." This same guitar player lover to let me know that he "was a professional musician for many years..." I'm thinking, anyone that feel the need to tell me how good they, can't be that good, their behavior should do the talking the talking in that regard... The last band, the drummer was convinced I was the one screwing up one particular song. So, he decides to test me and says, everyone be quit, he puts on the backing track and says, now, just you sing. I nail it and says, well, you did right there... But still thinks it me! This guy did do his practice either... I honestly start feeling like I must be crazy. The one thing I fall back on though, If something isn't making any sense, someone is not telling the whole truth. I think a lot of these players I'm running into have a super inflated sense of their abilities.

I just started a band named “The Man Cave Band!”

I have recently been joining a new band where when I first talked to them they were motivated to really put in some work and get shows and tours and stuff like that. So I did. I learned their songs throughly with all the exact details and learned them quite fast because I don't want to hinder the band for too long and not waste time. We have rehearsal and there are rough mistakes and felt like certain members didn't practice them and didn't put enough effort into it as much as I did and I felt like I am wasting my time and money. I was expecting for the other's to learn the material aswell at such a level where we could have mainly focussed on working on the show aspect. I also felt like the founders didn't do much work on the business side of being in a band and pointed it out to the leader and just said something like 'could you just please focus on the songs?'. But I already did learn the songs and every rehearsal I just go through them but I felt like I was just waiting for the others to catch up with me because apperently I'm being 'fast paced'. Many things could be done outside rehearsal for practice aswell as business stuff. This keeps frustrating me because Recently had a talk with them about it and now they said stuff like 'we just want to have fun and become good friends' while I want to treat it serious like business and keep that gas pedal pressed to work. I'm trying to change my attitude to be more relaxed and patient but it's tough. Couldn't really find any help on stuff like 'How to be less disciplined' 'how to not work as hard'. Can you guys help me on what I should do?

i am the problem. Even though I started the band

I was in a band that I tried for years to get off the ground an my guitarist would practice till he was tired. Wouldn't wake up on time. An was smoking weed an now started smoking an took 2 or 3 times a day. I'm just sick of it . Also I was kicked out of a group on my political views. My fault. But I worked my ass off. I'm 31 and idk

Lol I was calling the Man cave band the Dadrock band.

Been there , in a better band now , still the same though......😢