@@Anonymous-md2qpDouble attack, like a sandwich, bread toast on both sides... You spend money that you earned through your hard work, and also all the time spent with, and about her: Planning dates, reservations, etc... On the other hand if you were a workaholic at least you would be earning money and you wouldn't have time to spend it. Both are unhealthy extremes but the latter serves your purpose, not hers. Keep grinding brothers
It's simple. Eat rice and beans. Get a second job for the weekend for your girl. You'll be able to an Instagram model no problem for 2 years. But if you don't advance your salary to $60k and above your dead meat!
Do you know what's worse than dating when you're financially broke?... Dating when you're spiritually and mentally broke. That's a whole other topic though...
But so true Sealz!! See many people miss or overlook what you speak of but it’s crucial. It’s more than money. Yes money matters too but people need to heal. Wholeness is important. We can work on getting the money but let’s get healthy and whole mind, body, and spirit.
Yes it is.... This so called relationship is draining.... He got mad when I told him that he has pull himself out of the gutter..... Yep I lost respect for him.
@@dcalex2425 I dated someone who had less than me and the issue with that is I would help him out and he began to take advantage of my kindness and became to comfortable with it and I felt used. So I no longer date women who have less than me.
Give that woman an award. You truly don’t understand how hard it can be to be with a broke dude. Especially when he stays broke the entire relationship 😂
It's codependency, that's my issue, most of these behaviors start in childhood. People pleasers mentality. Think about the relationships that you had with your caregivers and family.
Yup, dating while broke is a complete drain mentally and emotionally. I don't understand why anyone would even want to date in that situation. Being single is the VERY least of your problems
I'm one of the brokies and struggling mentally and spiritually...one of the hardest parts is wanting to get Laid still like in my twenties...don't date or have kids with toxic people
I agree. Not only can dating expensive but if you're worried about your finances, it's distracting. There's no way a body can enjoy wining and dining if you don't have the cash for rent.
You don’t want your brokenness to be dictating your decision. That’s line got me laughing. If you are broke, dating should be the last thing on your mind.
Hear to this ladies! It's the truth, I unfortunately married to a broke man who used religion to pressure me into marriage, once married I was the one looking jobs for him while he wasted our money as if we were millionaires. I went from not having debt to owing to different people and Banks which I am still playing on my own, even after we got separated. Unfortunately I didn't have in hand this valuable information ♡ Don't see if there's potential in a person, see if there are results!
@@maitai3539 religious pressure, he ask my mother for her help as we were already living together. She is very religious so she helped him, telling me he had potential if I just supported him. She was the one to tell me to divorce him 6 months later
@@mfit7110 You obviously don't know what it is like to be manipulated mentally and emotionally by the person who should protect you the most, a mother. I was doing awesome before him, and I am doing amazing now single, thank you. And no he was not my vibrational match, I thought I was helping him reach higher, but eventually just became the mom of a lazy man. I didn't want to reject him just because he was going through a difficult time, but it was him who didn't care of getting out of that situation, unfortunately that's not something you can realize right away
@@sofiasoto2214 I RESPECT YOUR CHOICE BECAUSE OF RELIGIOUS REASONS AND YOUR MOTHER. BY CHOICE A WOMAN SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BUILD A MAN,HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO OUT IN THE WORLD BUILD AND COMPETE AGAINST OTHER MEN.
I dated a broke guy before and it was a disaster I was always paying for stuff and spending money to help him and he was not even worth all the headache and in addition to being broke he had nothing to offer and brought nothing to the table. As time when on I started to resent him and decided to end things. If your not financially stable and your life is not in order do not bring a woman in your life.
He’s righttttt. Having dated with a broke man. I was happy to help him because I loved him a lot but at the same time I was a bit depressed because I was feeling worried,stressed and drained. Also I couldn’t imagine bright future because money can limit so many things and the only thing I could imagine for our future was surviving as we were doing. He ended up dumping me and I think it was for the best. I wouldn’t have been able to do because I was so obsessed over him. Now I’m much happier and have ambitions and hopes. I focus on my career because I learnt lesson from him and I don’t wanna be staying broke when I get to his age. I think I still like him as a person but I realized love can’t cover everything to have a good relationship and I just don’t think dating with someone who is broke is wise.
I agree. Also when you date someone who is broke or who isn’t in the financial position to really have a good time outside of the house it becomes frustrating. For me it’s like oh wow this person is kind and really nice but oh we aren’t on the same page. So I literally end up going to all of the places I enjoy with my homegirls and family while they have to stay at home because they can’t afford to go. A relationship can’t last long term like that because it gets boring. Like if I want us to enjoy an activity then I would have to pay for the both of us. I don’t do that. So it’s a no for me.
I think it’s important to have a line between someone who is broke and someone who is working on setting themselves up for the future. Many of the couples I know who have been married 30 + years started out as young people who were young in their careers and living with their family still. I don’t think living with family means you’re broke. I think it’s sad that people think that way. Just look at how they use their time /resources and the reasons for doing what they’re doing. Look at the other cultures who live with their family for a long time.
Cause they dont like the ones who are financially well off, they want the broke ones or the ones that live in the projects so they can feel “needed” smh
The guest is 💯 right! I dated an extremely attractive man who wasn’t as established as I was. I tried to overlook the dynamic, but it just didn’t work. There was a lack of respect subconsciously on my end; and resentment on his end. Never again!
Speaking from a strong Alfa female, he is soooo right! I dated a guy who I cared for and taught him to make a business for himself with tips and good advice. In the end we taught eachother things and unfortunately it didnt work out. Now I rather have a man come fully equipped and not have to teach him. A man who is on the grind and trying to do better for himself is sexy!!!! Lazy men dating or not working is a turn off.
It's Anthony's laugh for me😂😂 he knows it's true. I completely agree with this guy and I believe most times God keeps you broke when you have issues to deal with before bringing someone into your life. I think most people miss this phase because they are too caught up on their desire for companionship.
He also believe in a budget for each date… which is why he’s laughing and about to have a heart attack. 😅He’s in disagreement. We know Anthony got bread but he doesn’t believe in splurging it while dating. Can’t blame him though.
Yes! men do not need to date until they are stable and secure in their finances as well as mental. My man's father told me these modern men are vastly disappointing to him. This is a true Man speaking.
Being broke and dating don’t mix. It’s so terrible going out with a guy who needs me to bring my half. It never works and it’s always problematic. I avoid broke men like the plague. I told my female friends that I wouldn’t bother wasting my time building up up a broke unskilled man. He must already be well established. Call me delusional or materialistic, I won’t settle for less
OMG! Very accurate! I felt everything you said! This is why a man/woman should be financially stable before trying to commit in a relationship especially a marriage! ❤️🙌🏽❤️
We need to put metal shop, wood shop, and auto shop back into schools. There is a dearth of labor in the trades. I can't meet a blue collar business owner that doesn't complain about not being able to find good help. A man that can use tools, has the tools to not be broke.
It’s because compatibility goes beyond things you both like. Being in a similar circumstance helps because there is nothing to really judge eachother on you both are in the same boat. With the right teamwork and dedication. It can be a happy ending. Gotta make sure neither party is lazy tho because that’s where the problem arises
@@vklkg5486 sge ghosted me bro 💀 her ex came back in town outta nowhere and that mf is rich... It is what it is it was hard but i moved on I guess.. video is fqcts at last 😭
@@jaydenwinter4647 women care in the way a man carries himself, exudes confidence (not arrogance). He doesn’t need to be 6 feet tall, with a bufff body, but he needs to walk tall. Personal hygiene is a 100% turn off or on. Hair cut, nails clipped and clean, wears a belt to keep his pants up, shoes clean, visits a dentist regularly, uses lotion on his body. Looks like you could take him to meet your family, without first doing a makeover, and I’m not talking about the actual clothes, the essence, the energy of a man needs to be right. Speak English, be respectful and considerate. Hth
Sad that this has to be said. People don’t have pride or shame anymore. And lack plain logic. There’s this attitude of “take me as I am”. If you’re dating wir intent to marry why would you date if you have no home/apt for this woman to come back to with you? If you’re not in a position to feed her if she so happens to lose her job. It’s just not logical, or practical. Dating while broke tells me you have no foresight. You didn’t think about life post the excitement of dating.
Meanwhile she has a paid off car, buys sme property for herself, and has her spirt, finances and mental in order..he sees this and wants to use wht she has to lift him up..its sad reality
I am guilty of the “project” scenario and had no clue until watching this....ladies, it does not work...and it’s not helpful to him....omg so much of this is soooooo true.
He's right about us women having it easier finance wise. It's just a practical thing. Any couple having a kid biologically should be prepared for the woman needing more rest time than expected. You never know what could happen, so the guy needs to be able to carry the main bills.
I agree with all this. I also had a man try to bring me food late at night when I was younger when he saw me getting in shape. He was jealous. This was about 20 yrs ago and I never forgot it.
@@Rashaadthegr8 more married Men are millionaires because they need more money to stay with and maintain the marriage. Women waste money..... do you understand now
So many false narratives. In the majority of relationships there isn't infidelity. A woman who dates a man who doesn't earn at his peak yet doesn't not mean he will cheat on her when he does. Smh. This dude, smh.. but he did make some good points. Women will resent you and see you as a child. The toxic side in women will come out if you don't make enough for sure.
As sad as this formula sounds, the spoken words here are truthful. If the man is insecure due to her accomplishments, he will drag her down. God help this society to elevate the men. Men need to find more possibilities where the boys are "raised" rather than babied to successful men in a balanced way. The True Christian men in this world need to step up and raise upgraded men.
If You're Broke,My Advice is to keep your behind off the dating scene until you get your mind and your money Right because dating is NOT FOR BROKE A**ES!
@@bp22470 hence i said are you God to decide who should date me as a person i would advice broke people to focus on their finances but i will never tell them to date love does not pay bills but love is the foundation you can have money in the world it does not mean a good relationship plenty of rich and finacially stable people still divorce relationships have no formula seen broke people in happy relatinships the only challenge is finances i think as people let us mind our business and stop giving advice where its not needed most of these guys who talk about finances have rotten personalities to the core because the only value they bring to a woman is money so many men are worried about money and less on the character and wonder why they cant keep a relationship
He isn't lying.. Word 4 word is true.. That hold me down until I come up BS is just BS..& when or if he get on his true colors come out.. & u can't respect a man that isn't a leader.. And true that sometimes women date below for a project or insecurities.. Don't date if broke or broken..!! It's not healthy!
A good rule of thumb to tell if you're ready to date is determine if you're able to provide for yourself and another person before you start If you're barely able to provide for yourself you broke
Truth, I been through this, yes he will take everything you have to offer to build him but subconsciously he resent you bc you emasculated him and once he gets hisself to a better level 9/10 he will leave and find the woman he really wants. Men naturally wants to lead and provide and if that’s striped away he won’t choose you. On flip side she’s secretly or openly upset bc he was her project and she feels like his mom. No real respect will be given on either end so it’s not worth it. Men are hunters and they will figure it out if they apply their selves.
Finding the one is difficult when you don’t have your basics locked down. I will say though if you are financially stable don’t think that you can take a person who doesn’t have their basics because it can increase the gap no matter how much love you got. Both people should have their basics on lock.
It's dangerous for both men and women to date broke. Dangerous to a man's ego. Dangerous to a woman's emotions and even her very life, especially these days. Hypergamy for women is best for both parties.
Thank you Sir, this your video helped me mentally.. am a victim of it, but I thank God I haven't fallen in to the trap, The only harm it did to me is that, I found myself unhappy.. Trying to date when I can't even help myself Though I never succeeded to have a date....... But this your video reminded me that is not what am to focus on for now.... so I was released from the mental stress
It’s not just “broke”. If you can cover your bills and have a little left to stash, -it ain’t enough. You need to be GAINFULLY employed. As in, making more than enough to save, make investments and have a budget that can pay for the “fun stuff” as defined by the woman. Broke should be redefined. Anything less than gainful, don’t waste your time.
Exactly I can’t date a man who don’t have the basic but I’ve tan across men who only provide those basics for themselves they don’t have the extra funds to date which is a problem/issue for me and that’s where the brokenness is a problem for me I can’t date someone who can’t provide what I can provide for myself I like to travel, fine dining and doing things that involve entertainment it’s not fun when you’re partner can’t provide those yes sitting in the house and chilling is fine but date nights are necessary!
Thank you for defining “broke”. My ex thought I was supposed to have enough money to cover my bills and expenses for 6 months. I didn’t have that, but I had my own place and car and enough money to cover my bills and still help him with groceries and loan him and others money.🤷🏽♀️I never knew how I should feel about my financial status. I think I’ve only borrowed money once in my adult life and that was over a decade ago🤔maybe 2. I’ve never really cared about how much the other person had so long as they were covering their own responsibilities the majority of the time. I don’t mind occasionally helping. What would be a problem would be if they needed me to cover all their bills and expenses. I’d have to say something then😬🤷🏽♀️ I do wonder why a guy is interested in me when there are so many other women out there that are curvier, thicker, make more money, and have a greater education. I don’t care as much about how the guy looks, the level of education they’ve completed, or how much money he makes as I do about the quality and quantity of the time we spend together. Just 🤷🏽♀️how is it when we’re together?
Girl you have no standards. And i am sorry to say this, do not be a victim of femicide. Date a man who has something to lose. That way, he wont go apeshit when the relationship ends.
You will feel like a child to her and she will treat you like a mother. As soon as you become dependent on her, you are a child - a dependent. It's really that simple. Never be dependent on a woman financially. I would also say never be dependent on a man financially. That is for marriage! You guys are not married, do not mix finances. Don't date broke. It's time-consuming to date. If you can't take care of yourself, put ALL your energy into taking care of yourself. If you're trying to find a partner and you're broke you need to admit that you're looking for a parent. I'm sorry to tell you. And you will end up in a dead bedroom relationship and they will resent you. I've been both the provider and the dependent and it hasn't worked either way. Granted, when I was provided for, I stayed longer but he grew to hold that against me as I asked for more and more. And as long as I was getting it, of course I was going to ask for more, that's in my nature. I don't know if that's "human" nature, but it's MY nature. I take. So, anyway. Just TAKE care of yourself first. You will have more choice and more options. You always want more options to optimize your life. First, start with a goal. What is a goal for your life? ]
Yes lol do not not date if you broke At the end of the day dates aren’t bout the money but you need money to do different events also in a way it gauges (to the woman) what you can afford/put effort into and it’s less stressful to date with money than without
Personally... FACTS... having respect for the "modern man" in how he shows up has been the hardest thing. I make no excuses for the modern woman's shortfalls. We both have work to do.
Definitely be secure first....adding a woman to your life cost you money.....and yes woman see us as projects.....better off staying single until you get yourself together....no everyone doesn't need to be in a relationship.
There's so much truth here. I was dating a guy who didn't have a cash flow problem, he had a vision problem. There wasn't a solid foundation and he couldn't clearly articulate a vision for his life. He talked about all the ideas he had, but the action didn't follow. He hopped from job to job, idea to idea, quick scheme to quick scheme. After a while I definitely lost respect for him and everything sounded like cap to me. There were definitely times where I felt like I had to be his mom...and that's not at all what I'm interested in.
If you try to date me when I'm rich I'm gonna be on my Leonardo Decaprio/PDiddy vibe. ... I not marrying a woman I met at the finish line... If you met me and stuck around during the process then you will have my trust...
To his benefit ny man gice me every little oenny he got and goes out hus way to make me feel protected which is priceless for me having been through a violent background
Yap. I have had a date with a guy who didn't get a job and broke and here I am thinking sir you should focus on yourself first before going on a date because I wouldn't go on a date looking for a partner before being financially stable.
the costs of living go up, but my thing is if a man is willing to improve on himself then yes i willing to give him a chance. as long as he doesn't have the broke mentality then i wouldn't mind risking that. because this day and age a lot of ppl are suffering financially because prices have risen. especially of covid-19 a lot of ppl will lose their jobs and jobs will be short handed that is just the reality of it all
Its still not worth it, its so many single womem working more than one job to live in these times, what more can we expect from men if a lady doing it..if a lady can wrk 3 jobs the man can too...He needs no woman to work with him, he needs to get it together
College students date all of the time and I highly recommend it. You can grow together. I don’t recommend a college student date an older, more stable person, too much lopsided power.
