Silly Stories to Lift Your Spirits | Russell Howard 

*YES!*

AGREED!!

Definitely

Agreed

we do, i agree. petition where?

Same! i can't believe the sign is gone now. should of stayed! I think it will always be known as Octopus road forever!

You two live on the same road then

Only in this country would that happen

So much piss to be taken, so little time

Oml thats brilliant 😂

My two German Shepherds have been doing the same to me

Now dogs everywhere can't do what they secretly do when their owners are gone...

It’s when he starts answering back that you need to worry. 😂

Nah, dogs don't judge. Cats, on the other hand...

Dogs do judge, but it's ok, because the judging is ALWAYS positive. Ten out of ten

It sounds like something out of a doctor Seuss book or something in willy wonkas factory

@@lonewolf9578 It sounds as though you're not aware of this worldwide classic pop hit: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Itsy_Bitsy_Teenie_Weenie_Yellow_Polkadot_Bikini

We also called a boat “boaty mc boat face” 😂

One Italian dude (I think) allegedly shat in a can, a while ago and it recently sold for..I don't know..millions. He was considered a true artist. Every time I'm about to craft something strange, stick a pair of eyes on a pad (I-pad) or find a dried-out lobster-claw on the road that I want to keep, I just think to myself; 'This dude shat in a can. As long as you're not hurting anyone or yourself, not getting in any danger, not seriously compromising your hygiene issues or anything similar, you can do whatever the fuck you want Emma. Stick eyes and ears on the tampon to craft a mouse, draw on your face, photograph your knees, draw a dead bird, go ahead, who gives a shit."

@@Widdekuu91 that has serious hygiene issues tho

@@TCt83067695 Depends. I meant an unused tampon, ofcourse. And I wasn't the one that shat in a can :P Was there anything else that was unhygienic?

I read that Gwyneth admitted her candle doesn't actually smell of her lady bits...so, false advertising?

@@Widdekuu91 Nah. Just the human faeces in a can business. As you were.

As does everyone, showing outsiders how well your country can have a laugh is something to be proud of.

Mister Wuss British people* Irish, Scottish and Welsh people always take the piss

@@havocspiral you're not wrong, mate. You're not wrong at all.

Mister Wuss my friend once convinced a teacher his name was nick gurr

@@havocspiral I know a fair few people who have done that or something like it and you'll never guess where they're from

SketchyDoodleDoo *British and IRISH

Hope they get well and dont have the virus. Wish you the best

Wishing you well. Hoping it's only a false alarm and if it isn't hope you get better soon.

Take care! I'm sick and quarantined too, and it sucks. My viruses and your viruses can all go fuck themselves! Get well soon!

Sending you thoughts and get well wishes from New Zealand.

Please take care as well neurelmute.

@Brendan Mather Tuna doesn't cost 70 quid though. Famous people and their "ideas"...

@@munky342 yeah but he said for free

@@C16_football the fire is pretty free. Most people have Tuna in the cupboard anyway. I feel like we're all reading way to far into this joke. It was funny, we've killed it.

*Seeing that she was the first one to die in Contagion, and the shit going on right now, I don't see any reason why they should be a sellout*

@@munky342 she made a candle that sold out.......have u had any ideas sell out ? probably not. So yes was a bloody good profitable idea.

@Absolute Zero Thanks. You took one for the team. *pats back* Edit: **foot tap**

Hotel: Trivago

I love that OP doesn't acknowledge lbs.

That just makes it better.

They gave him a funeral, nobody said anything about him being dead.

@@r.brooks5287 I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life

Life is the battle.

@@r.brooks5287 Hold on there buckaroo-

Yes! We definitely need his humor here in America!

@Top Lobster was meant to have them in may but they obviously cancelled them. We'll have calculated grades which are going to be derived from our mock grades and teacher assessment of the effort we put in. And if for some reason you are displeased with that then you can sit the exams when schools star again- most likely September or in 2021 I presume with the current yr10s

Year 11 has just gone like that its honestly horrible but this has made me genuinely laugh thank you ❤

I’m year eleven too. Honestly, I didn’t want to do my exams, but after three years of tirelessly working towards them, I do feel a bit hard done by

Same here. It’s been a miserable time but with this it made me smile.

@@miachamberlain3531 It's not great, is it? But I suppose it could be worse - and we'll always have Russell!

The comment of the vid! 🤣🤣👏👏

Changed my perception of St nicks food court

In the future True

crystal delancey love this channel x

Thank you!

quarantine*

Silly stories to lift your spirits would be a nice antidote after each government update.

I worry about what's going to happen with education. I'm a year 9 but I have friends in higher years and I'm unsure about what'll happen with GCSE and the like, so the coursework is probably kinda fucked

SQA exams were cancelled, which I am more than happy about. I refuse to let the SQA fail me for my N5s a second time. The first time, one had little justice behind it. In the prelims I got the grades I need to move on to college, and I'm keeping it that way if it kills me. The SQA failed my brother a number of years ago (maybe not him, but certainly the rest of the year that sat English) because they were all given the wrong close reading text for their exam and the SQA didn't think to change it, so they were failed because they had to learn an entirely new text within about 2 hours. I already hate the SQA, so if they did that with my year my fury against them would be irreversible if it isn't already. I don't like them. I have no reason to. They've been hindering me since S3. My 'failing' N5 English was an arrow to the heart, because I worked my hands to the bone, 'til I was writing in blood (of course that's a metaphor, but that is how hard I worked to pass N5. And I put failed in quotation marks, because I refuse to admit I failed. I worked far to hard, giving all of my free time to studying and revising N5 English. I worked far to hard to have failed, so I don't accept this as failure but defeat, because N5 was a battle). Edit: after resitting N5 English (which I'm still not particularly happy about), somehow I got a B, surpassing both the previous year and what I was estimated in the prelim. I was shooting for a C at least. More than happy I achieved a B.

I'm in college now so I wouldn't know but it was it really your day of the year?

Alan Martin for the foreseeable future, yes it was unfortunately.

Ah-mal so are you getting predicted grades?

@@lgacv7836 pretty much

LG Acv The teachers are going to be talked to, and our mocks will be looked at as well :(

"Boris johnson appears to be licking the back of my head"

no he didn't. i live quite close to where this guys lives, he has become an internet meme over here (the Netherlands)

verzekeringsadviseur Do you actually think he was serious about a bloke swallowing a chicken?

@@alexxxx509 yes dead serious

Alex Gardner. It seems you have never previously encountered that infamously dry, Dutch sense of humour 😄 Well, you can tick that off your bucket list 😁

Swallow

Same😭

@PhreshFunk yeah left my secondary school for the last time yesterday

Same 😢😢 I couldn’t even go in bc I’m in quarantine atm

Bethany Bee fr, everyone was saying their goodbyes and having fun one last time and I missed it🥺

@@klaud2193 sorry to here that

😂😂

We tried to do that in the UK for an Artic exploration vessel but they wouldn’t do it any went with David Attenborough as the name.

I hope that you, and all young people like you, are talking with each other as much as possible supporting each other. It's a worrying and confusing time, but expressing how you feel with your friends will really help. Try talking on the phone, or doing video calls, instead of just posting as itll give you a better connection with the person you're talking with. Maybe consider group chats, over skype or something else like that. Even though things might be hard for you at the moment it will help if you feel you're not on your own. Stay safe, look after yourself as much as you can, share how you feel and know that you're worthy of being heard. This will pass eventually, and your life will get back to something a little closer to normality. Namaste 💛

@@animalcol1 thank you for saying this. I haven't very many people to talk to beyond the village I live in, and even then few, but I do have friends to talk to if ever I need to, and I will try my best to stay safe and healthy. Thank you for this.

@@camerondon3712 Hope you're doing ok buddy, and that things are a little bit easier for you now. 🙂💛

@@animalcol1 we have left school now. I'm honestly a bit angry at myself for not letting some things come to pass, as it was within my capability to do so. That I took no chances in high school really pisses me off. But, recently I got accepted into college and I'm almost certain that some people in my year from high school will join me, so I have some chance to let happen what I didn't in high school. That I got into a course I'll likely enjoy will more than lift my spirits (I'll be sitting Welding and Fabrication, effectively metalworking, and I do very much enjoy practical courses). Edit: I got my yearbook today and several people are saying they're going to college. I sincerely hope it's the same one I'm going to (chances are it is, considering it's one of the only two colleges in the county, and most people I went to high school with likely live within driving distance of it. If I were bothered I could walk there, it would just take a while, because I live seven miles away).

Underrated comment

Wish it fking would... the guys a car-crash!

@@TheDav135 why is he 😂

"Doesn't" and there's an extra L in Russell lol 😁

He's funny if you're 12yo, he peaked about 10 years ago.. and he wasn't even that funny then

@@TheDav135 then dont watch him.. not that hard lol

💚

I was going to call you stupid for a minute there 😂

It's ok

Frick off

@@olipeacock5938 no u

First

First

Someone's salty cause they didn't get here first

Lol I had a 79p Victoria sponge from Kwik Save.

I had a caterpillar for my first bday lol

$49 Australian dollars is almost $100 pound. Yeah, I’d be pissed

Ella nah

I know theres a story and I'm kinda curious as to what it is

They cleaned their teeth

Or having a drink 🤣

Or drinking coffee !

Best part of that is that you named your gribble Storm.

I hope you’re okay 💕

Soul Reaper Yeah I’m feeling much better thank you ❤️ I probably shouldn’t have shared my problems on a random RU-vid vid but I was emotional 😂

@@fernthegreenfairy I’m glad! And I wouldn’t worry about that- we all need somewhere to talk about our feelings, even if it’s just the comments sections. It’s better to put it here than keep it all bottled up, eh?