Single & Secure: A Conversation On Relationships - Rich & DawnCheré Wilkerson, Mike Todd and friends 

Singleness is not a curse and marriage is not a cure.

Not yall had a conversation on singleness without single people

I wish these dialogs were conducted by a full single panel of older singles that have had to truly endure singleness for a prolonged period... anyone ever wonder why those people aren't invited to discuss? Food for thought

This is what I got after watching the full video. While your single take time and heal from your traumas. ( When Mike talked about knowing what makes you frustrated that is key to helping any friendship or relationship work and actually last, which is honestly to learn to respond better and not react ) Often times most relationships fail due to lack of communication and/or lack of communicating effectively. So what Those pastors was trying to instill in us was how Therapy helps us understands ourselves better the good, bad, ugly and the phenomenal. It’s damaging in relationships when you don’t know who you really are, especially the most important part which is that your a child of God, fearfully & wonderfully made. As your in a singleness season. Once your pretty good at communicating in those ways & God has given you the okay to move onto pursuing a romantic relationship, then you have to put yourself out there and start dating. They never said it was gonna be easy but they did note that the more dates you go on the more you realize and are able to pinpoint exactly what you want in your spouse and hopefully also what you need. Single people, I am one of them 🙋🏾‍♀️ to narrow it down. 1. Become very close to Jesus 2. Have a mentor/ Go to therapy- ( You need someone in your life who can point your faults and that your receptive to them, because YOU know they’re only there to bring out the best in you but only if you let them). 3. Wait for Gods permission ( Thank God for giving you desires to be married and desires for sex it’s a wonderful gift don’t be shameful) but gain self control while you wait. 4. Once you feel and/or know strongly that God is advising you to purse a romantic relationship/ Put Yourself Out there. It’s never easy doing that. Start off maybe with online dating, or asking a friend to help you set up dates with hopefully God fearing individuals. 5. Enjoy the process, don’t look at it as a task but rather date with joy, hope and knowing that your not waisting your time you are finding who your compatible with and if you can see decades from now that you will still be willing, dedicated, hopeful and committed to making your marriage like Christ and his love for the Church. ( Like they said God will not date for you ). Learn people lovingly and with kindness. If their not for you learn from those interactions, narrow those down, pray and continue to believe that God is helping you find your person. ✨ Honestly also if you desire marriage began watching Godly married couples or better yet put your self around great married couples if you know of some, learn from them, take notes and apply. Those who are single and choose to be single, this video unfortunately isn’t maybe what you need to hear because those like myself have come to watch these videos takes notes to hopefully have a successful Godly marriage. The Bible begins and ends with marriage, to me that means God really would rather see us with someone who can help us, sharpen our iron and be great examples of Christs love for his people. Yes Paul did choose to be single but that was his choice he maybe couldn’t handle marriage after coming to know Jesus and spreading the Gospel to the churches. But ideally I believe God desires family, we are his children for heavens sake, he calls us his bride also,, God wants and desires family and doesn’t really speak on being single on this earth. But buy all means do you and if singleness is what your desiring than do you !! ✨✨🤍 I hope this helped someone honestly… 😊

This would have been fantastic if everyone on the stage was single, EVERYONE. To hear their voices, how they handle singleness as a Christian and dating led by God. This didn’t give what it wanted to give. Pastor Todd added some good insights though.

It’s a great sign when the first question about singleness is responded with: “I haven’t been single in a long time, idk!” …. 🙄

God has given pastor Mike Todd so much wisdom and revelation concerning relationships that is sooo needed at such a time as this. ❤️

TEEEAAAACCCCHHHH Pastor Todd

The church is still not comfortable talking about singles and divorcees.It is just sad.I felt for the single pastor there.

Can we just shout out Pastor Manouchka and how well-loved she is by the congregation? They roared with applause when he introduced her. If anything, this should have been a discussion about how well-honored a person can be when they pour their whole life into serving the people of God. If that isn't 'single and secure', I don't know what is.

Michael Todd is the only one that actually spoke on how to be single and secure

I don’t believe in coincidence, today my boyfriend whom I believed with all my heart was my future husband broke of things and I had seen this video 4 days ago and immediately God brought me back here. I am looking forward to hearing the voice of God

As a married person. Mike Todd had the BEST advice to single folk I have ever heard. Singles take note!

With this conversation being held by married people...creates an illusion that the end point of being single is getting married

Y'all better put some respect on Pastor Mike Todd's name 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 So much wisdom on relationships

Next time have only single people for a topic on "Single and Secure" as I think they will understand it better🤷‍♀️ Or at least have More single ppl in the panel if you're gonna discuss single ppl matters. Pastor Mike Todd great inputs👌👌♥️

" if you're always with your girls.... you'll ALWAYS be with your girls" - That's it man!!

Loved how Mike Todd preached about getting counseling, and the prayer at the end!🙏🏾 I didn’t like how the session was called Single & Secure with 5 married ppl and 1 Black woman representing for all the singles. 🤦🏾‍♀️ They should have at least made it a mixed group. This was so focused on marriage and relationships. It kinda contradicts the Title of the session😆 I didn’t see too many points of ppl talking about how to exactly be a Single & Secure person. And things you should be doing in this Single Season! I mean their stories were nice. I hate to say it, but I think everyone up on that panel with the exception of Mike Todd missed the mark! He knew the assignment, lol. Was speaking straight facts!

Pastor Todd gonna always gets that message across

Get counseling, have GOOD friends, strong church connections, be open to potential love (when secure because marriage magnifies things), trust God with your expectations (be in alignment with him), fall in love with yourself (not carnal but grateful for life and growth), know your purpose and calling

“Everybody is not supposed to be an entrepreneur “ c’mon somebody 🗣 I’ve been saying this for awhile.

Sucks there’s only one single who is a Black woman tbh when we already have a bunch of couples that don’t include us. Also….there should be more singles for people talking about secure and single.

Pastor Todd said that “God don’t want to date with you” - God desires for us every day that we can have date with him through our bible reading and time with him even when you walk at the forest or the street God wants to go with you even you don’t but God always beside you. Young believers you should read your bible and speak to God everyday even how many times you listen to the sermon of the preacher if you don’t have personal time with God you will never grow in your personal relationship with him. Our greatest relationship to pursue is Jesus not someone out there a man/woman. It’s God and if you will get married one day that is the bonus of God with you because of his goodness. He gave you someone to be with to the ministry for the kingdom of God not because you deserve to have someone because everybody are getting married. Don’t just listening to the sermon that makes you feel good how the preacher said but listen to what is the truth about the word of God. God is not like Santa Claus that everything you prayed for he will answer like what Pastor Todd said. If God is gracious God and Just God he will give that will glorify him not just because he want to give what you ask for.

Watching now on my tv. Just went through a breakup, but our Maker Jesus and The Father in Heaven, the Spirit of God is our Husband who will never leave you nor forsake you and me. He meets you in your need and is your comforter and healer.

I am only in 10 minutes and I am already happy and smiling. Pastor Mike said that the main thing we need is therapy and theology. Meaning speak to someone to understand what makes you you and taking those qualities to God to refine and to help you articulate to your future partner or current partner. Most of the people on the stage are married and have experience of what we as single people need to do in order to help prolong our future or current relationships. Yes we need single representation on the stage but I think there is wisdom in hearing from married couples what they had to overcome over the years and what they had to introduce. It’s essentially a hand guide to help us to navigate through our future or current relationships.

Pastor Mike, is and always have been one of God's greatest vessels in my life this year. ❤️

Lord, I'm ready to rip up my list and just place it at the altar. I hadn't seen how broken this world is, I'm just turning 20. Now I'm starting to see it. I will not walk alone, tell me where I ought to be then there my place will be. Heal me of my wounds, renew my mind, surround me with the right people and help me do my part of living out my purpose. In Jesus' name I pray for anyone else here, Amen.

Brilliant Conversation! Damn, Pastor Mike Todd is fired up for that stage 🤣You can tell when someone really loves what they do.

The Holy Spirit led me to this video. I'm so thankful to God. Even though there were a lot of married people on the panel, I like it because we can learn from their experiences. Pastor Mike was awesome, I love Chelsea's input too. With love from Nigeria. 🇳🇬

Pastor Todd ready to preach!!! Love him

Forgiveness is a great gift because “Life won’t wait on the wounded.”

Man Pastor Todd is amazing ❤❤❤

Great session I do wish the panel was single individuals vs marriage couples

I love what they’re trying to do and I love my pastor. Shout out to Pastor Mike Todd! It is tough though, I would like to see a panel with more singles or atleast people who married well into adulthood… like atleast mid 30s.

Very true, Pastor Todd. Therapy is the best thing ever.

The love I have for Ps Mike, he is a funny and honest person. To God Be The Glory and Honor. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Pastor Mike! Thankyou! Therapy changed my life and helped me see the truth and also helped me better my personal relationship with Christ.

Mike Todd had The best advice. Do the practical!

"Marriage puts a ring in your problems"🤣🤣🤣

OH I AGREE THAT ONE COUNSELING SESSION WILL SAVE ONE YEAR OF MARRIAGE AM A PSYCHOLOGIST AND A CHILD OF GOD AND I LIKE EVERY WORD YOU SAID

So much healing in the room

Hello Vous staff, not sure if you will see this message or not but I just wanted to provide some feedback. I think the speakers all said something relative but the title of the conference was single and secure. I may have had the wrong impression but I was expecting to hear from single people who are actively following Jesus and leading a full well rounded life irregardless of their desire to marry or not. While a marital perspective is great, please be mindful not everyone in the church desires to be married, or perhaps they aren’t in that season at this moment. As Pastors I would’ve like to see more compassion and less targeted comedy towards the one single woman on the panel. Y’all were joking and I get it but Ms M. literally spoke about her struggle with seeing so many great marriages around her and not being able to have the same. Maybe it was the delivery and perhaps things went off course but I thought I would walk away from watching this, with practical tools to walk into a secure place while single. If that was the goal… y’all kinda missed the mark. I love Pastor Todd though… mighty man of God and a charismatic speaker.

HALF-DECENT! SAY IT LOUDER, PASTOR MIKE!!

Hello, watching from Botswana in Africa. Love you Vous Family!

I'm Open. To whatever you want to do Jesus.

I am so glad a found this video. Today I was confronted with enemies from my past and almost made the decision to give up on myself. God is good!

Yesterday, I spoke with an individual who asked why I don’t want to date. I think God was speaking through him cause these pastors are saying things he said to me and I am just, learning to unlearn!

So good 🔥🙏🏼, I’m giving Pastor Mike Todd his flowers 💐 👏🏼👏🏼 what a true blessing.

Hey family, I've been reading a few of the comments and have some different opinions. I wholeheartedly agree that looking back at the title after watching the ENTIRE video ( always watch the entire video people), I do think that this panel was intended for good, but simply missed the mark. For a panel specifically titled "Single and Secure" having a panel of married people is discouraging for singles who genuinely wanted advice. It seems they wanted to fill the panel with wise counsel (which was achieved), but 90% of them are married. HOWEVER, I think this demonstrates flawlessly the error and flaw of human nature. Although we can look to others for advice and counsel, the Word of God will be the one and true, PERFECT source, NO human error source. We should be looking there for all wisdom and knowledge, and panels like these ( in their essence) should be tools for clarity. if you have pressing questions, get plugged into a church and seek wisdom for the pastors and leaders in person, that way you can always fact-check them. xx

This was so good I read the comments and almost didn't watch it, but the holyspirit led me to. First of all read the topic very well Yes it says single and secure but also the sub topic is : A conversation on relationship They covered different aspects of relationships And it was beautiful

The intro about Manoushka had me lough out loud🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Vous staff thanks for putting up this beautiful session and all the panelists were awesome . thanks for sharing a piece of each of your lives with us.

Okay Pastor Michael is on it. 🙌🏽

Thank you for allowing me to see the restoring of acceptance by giving God my exceptions and healing through his forgiveness, that allows me now to forgive others.

I cannot applaud enough the prior comment about the poor execution here aiming at a conversation around singlehood, and only having one person in that state and “prophesied” out of it to meet their future spouse that very night, as if it was some sort of disease. Not only was it difficult to take any one speaker seriously because of their detachment and lack of sensitivity at the chasm they’ve created, but the one speaker who had the most pertinent words to impart - Pastor Todd, did so in an attitude and spirit of pride and contempt. He was visibly upset that he had to be making the points he was and in such a state was unable to access compassion for his audience and point of reference. He was rude and dismissive “Take your weave off, wash it and go to therapy.” Not only was this not funny it was unnecessary to make his point and the misogynoir actually detracts from it. I actually wholeheartedly agree that therapy is useful and can be powerful with a Christian therapist both as an individual and in managing relationships and wish that had simply been the title of the video. If this had been positioned as a conversation about healthy relationships it would have been a great message from a panel. I think there was at one point a sincere heart for single people and their journey within these different parties and I have to wonder when the last time Pastors Rich and DC really offered themselves real and open to the Holy Spirit and asked if this is still a space they should be operating in. I wonder if they’ve asked themselves this, or simply told themselves the narrative that because it’s fiscally lucrative it must be the provision of God.

This is a conversation is just everything... The vulnerability in the talk and everything is beautiful

So Mike just gone take over they show like that? 😂😂😂😂 I love him!!

Life will not wait for the wounded

Seen Pastor Todd clip on Instagram and has to come watch this !! I’m so grateful for this message and the panel, single mum of 2, after being divorced and fatherless … I experienced soo much pain that I choose singleness but here this message has touched on the power of forgiveness, healing and restoration! Everyone’s story and insight she’s so much light and wisdom! Thank you Mike Todd for being bold to share rip up the list and holding on to expectations that are ours and not Christ! I am open to receive Gods forgiveness and healing! Thank you Vous for this! Will be watching again and sharing and implementing 👏👏

17:28 A great reminder. The importance of growing in the process and embracing it.

While this conversation was insightful, it’s also given a sense of failure if someone isn’t married. What’s wrong with being single? Why it has to feel like a burden. Many people are single by choice. You made it sound as if marriage is the end all be all for humanity.

It’s time to learn how to “investiDATE” our relationships. What you invest in, has the ability to profit.

Oh no! 📚 the comments at the start and I just realized that none of the panelists are single. Okay, we need someone to make this happen again with singles. I could use some new advice. Have any? Please share....late 30's and single is no fun! Thx!

But only ONE single person there, and a BUNCH of long time married people who don’t KNOW how hard dating is.

Wow! Only 5 min in, Ps Mike! This is going to be so-o good!🔥🔥

Ok Pastor Todd 🙌 the Wisdom!!!!

Wow, that was something!! Thank you, Pastor Mike!

This was timely... Thank you to all panelist... shout out to Pastor Todd

First time watching this. The guy in red jacket speaks to me so loudly and clearly

I love des as a Christian woman thank you very much 😊 ❤ 💓 we need conversations like this ❤ 💕

Thank you Holy Spirit for leading me to this conversation. WOW!....I was blessed. 💕

The HOLY SPIRIT will lift you up more than any human being could ever lift you up!

This could have been a really good conversation, but everyone on the panel was married for 10+ years, and they shifted to talking about marriage for a lot of it. The one single person barely talked, and it was just sad that a REAL conversation was on the verge, and then they just jumped to marriage.

Pastor Mike be spittin straight facts!!!!!

I just received a new level of liberation

That was an incredible conference! God blessed me beyond mesures just by listening to those wonderful Men and Women of God. Remain blessed and may God’s grace be upon you. Amen!

one of the many things that stood out to me was , God has forgiven us of things that we still have not forgiven ourselves , that we hold onto being ashamed of what we did in the past or even yesterday. Thank you lord for this message i pray all who heard or saw this message will go forth in truth and also in carrying out what God has told us to do.

Thank you for this! I am healing over a break up with my child’s father. And the prayer at the end really helped me put things into perspective. But! It would have been more impactful with more singles on the panel.

All of this is great. However, I am more inclined to focus on what Apostle Paul taught in 1 Corinthians 7:34, "A single woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit." Seriously, this should be the main focus of a single woman's life. I am 38 and it has been rough being single for so long. It hurts when everyone around me I know is getting married and having children. I've been "in love" before but it was always a one way street. Guys I was interested in me, wouldn't even look my way, and the ones interested in me I wasn't interested in them. The ones interested in me didn't pursue me, so my only guess was that they didn't have pure motives. One guy took me out to eat last year, it wasn't a date...he was only being nice because it was my birthday. I never heard from him since. So you see, it's been kind of a mess with me and my heart. The Lord said to me in prayer one night "love me." That right there let me know that he MUST be loved first. This is the first commandment anyway, is it not? And the second, "love your neighbor as yourself." So you see, single women and men, you must first love God with ALL of your heart, mind and soul before you can love anyone else. You must love yourself as well, because if you don't, you can't love the spouse God has for you the way he wants you to love them. It's a matter of the heart. Mike Todd talked about putting that list on the altar...I say put your heart there too. ❣️✝️🙏🏾

This is powerful.. Thank You 🙏

Thanks for this! I was on tears and hands up high, surrendering my ways/plans/expectations…I was watching from Portugal. So grateful for Rich sensibility and Mike’s discernment in the final ministry time! 🙏 this meant a lot to me🫶

Counseling works...it digs deep and brings up stuff that need to be exposed.

This is all about making single women feel good

That was an amazing session. the Lord bless you all

Thank you, Lord, for this powerful moment 🙏🙏🙏

Phenomenal conversation. Thanks for this!!! Learned a lot from each of you 🤟🏼

Regardless of these comments of whoever is not single… this was an AWESOME conversation!!!! And I am single. Marriages like yalls are what I look up to and want to learn and thrive to be.

Did you read the title single and secure that is definitely me I don't have to stress for nothing I'm walking into the God's Divine greatness and I no God has me right in the palm of his hands

This song has made me feel that I and my family are protected by God's love! May God bring health, luck and success to all of us!

Happy New year 2023

Someone tell me a sermon when married women are accused of being ‘bougie and rude’ - never. 🤔🤔🤔 they’re the giving and loving mother Theresa’s who never do anything wrong.

Man I’m so grateful to have come across this video.. 🙏 💎 💎 💎

Pastor Mike really called me out at 23:26 . I have been living very performance based. This is something that I need to work on

Thank you so much for sharing this. I really needed to hear that. Especially, thank you pastor Chelsea Smith. Praying for your family and ministries. 🙏 ❤️

This was awesome!

Wow, such a powerful conversation, this blessed me so much 🙌

Jesus loves you

What a word from Pastor Todd. Whuuu! 🙏🙏🙏. Need counseling my birthday is on the 2nd September.. I pray that I get some therapy as a gift on my 40th birthday😍😍

I am open to whatever you want to do God

sheeshhhh THIS WAS SO SOOOO GOOD!! ❤