So You Want To Be INDIANA JONES 

"His gun skills are... fine. His sword skills are... guns." Hahahah

I want to be able to survive a nuclear explosion in a fridge

Can I just be Harrison Ford instead?

You didn't even mention: Join the Marine Corps as a teenager; Learn to ride an unbroken horse; Stay in 10K shape while drinking hard enough to kill most people.

Wow. I was floored to see myself featured so prominently in this video, considering how I'm subscribed and just caught it in my stream casually. I'm smiling from ear to ear. Thanks so much guys! 😃 Incidentally, I can actually give Indie wannabes some encouragement! I'll disagree slightly with Alex (sorry man, love ya!) in that Indie is not actually fluent in all those languages. The clip of him flicking between the languages as Young Indiana Jones involves some with an accent that only an absolute beginner could have (in Italian he says "il italiano" instead of "l'italiano" and he gets the stress wrong on the basic word 'difficile'), some that are just one word etc. In the movies, his Mandarin is so bad that I think the most unrealistic part of the entire movie is that they actually understand what he says (both in the opening scene & when he's shouting for the kid to grab the bridge), and that says a lot for an Indiana Jones movie. When I started speaking Mandarin and got my tones wrong as badly as he does, no matter how much context would help them, natives would still not have a clue what I was saying. So, Alex is absolutely right that my 3-month intensive learning suggestion to reach fluency (i.e. B2 on the European Common Framework scale, or a level where you can comfortably interact with people in social situations) only works full-time, and it would be a stupid amount of time to reach that level in 20 languages. BUT to reach Indie standards, where you just need to have a very brief exchange of a sentence or two with someone (and you are definitely not fluent) you don't actually need that much time. Reading the languages could take time, but again, he could have beginner reading levels and still get the gist of some things, even if another script is used. This means that you don't actually need 3 months per language to be like Indiana Jones. As an example, one of the languages mentioned is Peruvian Quechua, and I dabbled in that myself too. Enough to just about ask a basic question and have a super vague idea about the answer, which may be enough to get directions. You can literally see me show this on my channel. But I did that very non-intensively (an hour a day max) and over just a few weeks. A week ago, I literally just uploaded a video where I scream "Wake up" at the viewer in 16 languages, and I don't actually speak several of them. The only thing I learned in that language was that phrase, and it took just a few minutes to try to get my pronunciation "close enough" to be understandable, which Indie could do if he had access to a helpful native speaker. This makes a number like 20 way more realistic. 😉 So rejoice Indie wannabes! Otherwise... I fail miserably at all the other criteria. Damn. OK, so you win this round Alex...

Cracked is on an upward slope with their quality lately, keep it up team.

Pro tip: don't make Indiana Jones jokes to actual archaeologists. They've all heard it. A million times. They'll give you the death stare. I learned the hard way. Several times.

Can you do "So You Want To Be Sherlock Holmes"?

he forgot to mention that you absolutely have to live in the late 30s early 40s, because that is the only time in history when the global political climate was such that any of that was possible

Cody is consistently one of the best presenters Cracked has.

I experienced miracle trauma just by a magician revealing the card I chose. I'm still recovering

To be fair, I imagine Indie manages to out publish and out knowledge his competitors because of all his crazy adventures, rather than in spite of.

so you want to be...John Wick?....Hannibal Lecture?....Fox Mulder?

I feel like Indy's adventures can be considered field work... his research papers are basically 'I found this thing and nobody else did'

this is like a realistic version of epic how to.

Im learning a lot and trying every day to get closer to Indiana Jones skills. Wish me guys luck!

I have always wanted to be Indiana Jones!!! #1 - Merp #2 - Oh come on! #3 - 2 Languages here!! oh ugh i need a lot more! #4 - I can whip it good!.. well shit, not that good! :/ this is so disappointing #5 - hmm ok i can probably do it.. YAY i can be Indian JONES!!!! Thanks Cracked!!!

The language thing seems super attainable, especially if the guy is a PhD. The math on that is not all that daunting. 20 languages is 60 months... That's only 5 years. In The Last Crusade we see a 13 year old Indy who can already count in multiple languages, it's extremely believable that a man who travels extensively, immersing himself in the culture and language could easily pick up that many. Then you throw in bullwhip lessons... Ya. This is doable.

so you want to be James Bond. That would be a good one.

I'm always being Indiana Jones. Whenever I see a door or a gate about to close, I run through and then at the last second reach back through and grab my hat!

b-but I want to be a giant space wizard who uses space magic to choke people when he pinches his fingers.I also want to wear black leather and have remote controlled flying fists. And a black cape.Cape would be pretty wizard

My RU-vid career counselor is better than the one I had when I was in high school.

My great grandpa grew up in eastern Europe on the border of three different companies.. by the time he was 30 he knew 13 separate languages, fought in WW2, moved to Australia by 35 and started work as a translator. By the time he was 45 wrote three books, but only in Russian because fuck accessibility. He got pretty close I'd say. Minus the archaeology shit.

According to the Indiana Jones Wiki, Indy knows 27 languages. If it takes 3 months to learn a language, then Indy spent 6 years and 9 months just learning languages.

Excellent video. Keep it up!

So you want to be Goku...hell, even just Krillin.

This guy is definitely my new favorite RU-vid personality in general. Enjoying the content lately Cracked - keep up the good work.

“His sword skills are guns” 👏

Who does your research and how do I get involved in making THAT my job?!!?!

Yo, this series is giving me such high hopes, please keep this one going! I love it!

The real life adventurer Sir Richard Francis Burton(1821-1890) spoke around 29 languages, fluently. Probably also one of the inspirations to Indiana Jones.

My new favourite series. Keep em coming!

A note on Indy only being a Professor "part time," In order to get funding for their research professors spend most of their time searching for funding. Indy uses that time to find lost relics and sell them to fund his efforts.

You should defiantly make more of these Cracked. Nice Job!

Alex is my favourite Cracked presenter. I always get excited when I click on a video and see him.

hey Alex, this is a great idea and it was well executed. I'm a big fan of this and would LOVE to see a zillion more of these

I said it after the first "So you want to be" vid... This is a great series, and you finally found a great segment where Alex shines.

This is probably my favorite series on this channel.

"Thank you for learning" if only my teachers had said this.

Bring this series back, PLEASE !!!!!

I'm digging this series dude I'm liking your content

Subscribed just for Rogers but this stuff is pretty good too... +1 for continuing this series

This is really good, and so is the helmet history. More please. :)

Why hasn’t this had more? It was awesome and I love Alex....come on ....more of this. Please...

I truly enjoy these "So you want to be" videos.

Yes. oh wait... There's more than just the question? There's a pitch? Well... I'm sold.

I love the "So You Want To Be" series. Can you guys put one out more than once a month? Cracked is one of my favorite channels on RU-vid & so u want to be is just hilarious. Keep 'um coming. How about, "So You Want To Be, Alex Schmitt"?

thank you for teaching!

When I saw the title the first thing i thought was 'da da da da, da da da.' That theme is amazing.

Awesome!! Thank you for this!!!

wow ! great show can't wait for the next episode. dude come a long way from the early days.

"It's one of the movies, man, it's the way it is." :)

"Good news , you slobs !" Ha! I spit my coffee out.

Ever since second grade, this is has been one of my answers to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" exercises. Right next to "Bank Robber" and "Secret Agent."

YES!!! A great video!!! Finally! #shared 👍🏻👍🏻💙💙💙

Yay finally more New Guy weekly.

Love this!

I like how good Alex Schmidt is.

Yay! Finally, someone references Young Indiana Jones. I seem to be the only one who remembers that show.

"Heck yeah... violence..." XD

Well, those films influenced me when I was a child and led me down the crazy path that I have taken...my area of expertise are the pre-Columbian Civilizations of the Americas and I could care less about anywhere else in the world in general...from México to South America lies my passion and it is a passion that has almost killed me multiple times...even though being like Indiana in realistically unattainable I am grateful that those films inspired me as a child to take the path wherein lies my passion...

I hope they are making the new Indiana Jones to say the last one was a dream or simply never happened

RU-vid recommendation:So you wanna be Indiana Jones Me: I'm already Indiana the 3rd

'' his sword skills are guns.'' Genius!

Firstly, this is entertaining and hilarious. But I think it's much easier than you're making it. 1# Not easy, but far from impossible. 2# He really isn't smarter than other professors, colleges really just wanted him because he was famous and he could steal artifacts for them. 3# Benny Lewis (the guy you mentioned in the video) gave a great explanation down below, so read that. 4# Indiana really doesn't show much expertise with a whip, he just mostly swings on it and occasionally whips people's necks. But it wouldn't take long to be as good as indy. 5# This one is just silly. Just because a few people can't handle Jerusalem doesn't mean I can't handle a miracle. Indy has seen enough crazy miracles that they just dont really phase him, and being a skeptic myself, I think I could handle it. The real challenge of being Indiana Jones is his loose interpretation of morality. Killing people and stealing artifacts from countries is only okay when he does it, it would seem.

Glad to see you again Alex , where you been dude?

But seriously i wanna be doctor doom. Great video, loved it; please more of this; totally love the concept.

I cracked, hahaha!

Do So You Want To Be Captain America!🇺🇸

This was fun. I would like to see more.

I really liked this one. Alex is an amazing host in my opinion.

I'm watching the films under the impression that indie is a tenured professor, freeing him from the "publish or perish" system. Being tenured also might mean that he is at the top of his field.

I definitely need to learn to crack a whip!

How has this not been a thing?

I used to buy cracked magazine back in the 80s, good to see you these days

More Alex. An Alex per video. Alex all day.

If you ever do a new on of these i would love to see one about the punisher.

"what it takes to be a keyblade master" would be perfect for this show.

I dig it. more please

I can get on board with this show.

Plz keep doing these

still think you're the best guy on cracked this vid made my day hahaha

Thanks for the information, I'll take the task.

Yes!

"the good boy of graverobbing" litterally what I wrote my personal statement for college apps on

Yes

Moar Alex plox his Walt Disney is hilarious

Holy crap, I thought Alex was dead! I haven't seen him in years!

I'm ready for indiana jones 5

This video is so funny idk y😂

there are people who can learn languages really fast like really fast. saw this youtube video where these guys were talking about how they enjoy learning new languages. they both learn a new language in a week or 2 at most

I’m always willing to be just like my hero!

I am cracked. This so good. Though I love the movie and the character, this was so much fun. You know there is a whole list of candidates you could do this to. Get Cracken

I knew I could do it!

1:05 Oh my Sweet Summer Child you have no idea what's coming....

Even Indy hit himself with a bull-whip.

I can't be Indiana Jones. I could never have a shortround. Asians don't like Negan.

Henry Sr. has been teaching Indy languages since Indy was a toddler.

Great!

I like this one, it actually seems possible to gain the skills, so long as you have enough money to afford the training, and are highly intelligent, possibly a genius/savant (and able bodied), and dedicated and disciplined. He also followed in his father's footsteps, right? That upbringing was instrumental to shaping his career path. Also, I think Indy can half ass his academic work due to the fact that he has first person experiences in a massive variety of field encounters, that most professors couldn't accomplish.