Sonder: The Realization That Everyone Has A Story 

It's depressing to think that there are people who love what you love, but you'll never meet them.

My sonder story: I was waiting for a train one day and to pass the time I started playing on this piano app on my phone. I'm not a piano player but I enjoyed just messing around with it. I noticed the old man next to me was watching me play and he asked if I was a pianist. I don't know why I lied to a complete stranger but I told him that I was studying music theory at university and I was practicing for a performance. (I was in high school at the time) He was delighted to hear that, and started to tell me about his university experience and the music that he and his wife listen to. He seemed so happy to be sharing a small part of his life with me and I was more than happy to listen. I didn't say much, just nodded and said the occasional "wow" or "uh huh". Soon enough his train arrived, he got up and said "good luck", and I said "thankyou". I never asked his name and he never asked mine, but I think of him everyday. I wish I knew more about the friendly old man at the train station, but I will probably never see him again. I wonder if he remembers me. Maybe he wonders how my "performance" went. I feel sad when I think of him, but also unspeakably happy. He is a part of my life and I am a part of his, not a main character, but certainly a memorable appearance.

Hey, I'm just a commenter on a RU-vid video. We'll probably never meet again, and we'll never get to know each other. Heck, you just probably glanced over this comment and didn't even care to read the next sentence because you saw this wall of text. Anyways, congrats for making it this far in the comment, I hope you have a great life ahead of you, and I hope we can be each other's extra cast just for today, or even for 6 minutes until we forget each other completely. Have a great day, or night.

There are times I'll pass people on the street or in a train station and they kind of stand out somehow and I get this weird urge to talk to them and get to know them. Instead I'll carry on and never see them again or know anything about their life. I can't explain but it makes me sad.

That's why I love observing people. Sitting on a bench in a park or in a public transport, putting my life and all my problems aside for a while, and just observing people around me. Strangers that I've never met. Thinking about them. What are their names? What are they going through? What is that one's biggest fear? What is this one's greatest achievement? What are their priorities, their values? What are their stories? The realization that every single person that you encounter has a completely different life and different story, it's incredible.

Sometimes it makes me a little sad when I realise there are billions of people whom I will never get to know, and so many stories I will never get to hear. It's sad that these all of these stories, including my own, will disappear once we die, and nobody will ever know all the experiences, fears, sorrows and joys I had accumulated over the years.

Glad to see other people empathetic enough to know that they're not the center of the universe.

Honestly everyone says that this is a depressing reality, but I kinda feel comfort in it. The fact that every person you see all has their own lives means that there is always something good happening in the world, no matter how miserable it seems sometimes

Dear stranger, I wish I knew your story. I wish I knew you. All of you. But I can't. So let's instead make the best of our role. Hope I'll meet you on the Stage, . Sincerely, A stranger not so different than you

Had the sonder moment at about 8 years old. The family was driving to my grandmother's house. It was night and all I saw where the lights of Vancouver and all its surrounding boroughs. First it hit me like ton of bricks that all those little pins of lights where homes, just like mine, and they were all living their own lives. And that I'd never know any of them. The real horror hit me when I realized that myself, my family, the car, and the drive to grandma's house were nothing but a speck of moving light along a distant road. One speck of countless lights observed by someone else's life. My little brain could barely grasp what I was thinking about. I remember sitting in the dark feeling like I was going insane.

When I watch this video I get this kind of sad-nostalgic-happy-calm-quiet feel. Kind of like a "sad smile"

I love all of you, all the specks of light and the extras sipping coffee. Have a wonderful life

What a thought...behind every screen that viewed this video is a life, a soul, a personality, an individual living their lives the best way they know how. If you read this, just know that you’re existence matters!

Thanks, I didn't have a word for this feeling until today. Sometimes I will catch a glimpse of some abandoned object in the world - a single glove on the road, a glass bottle deep in the woods, a ring of cigarette butts in a doorway, it could be anything - and it gives me a sudden, strong realization that I'm seeing a part of someone else's story that I can never know.

Doubt anyone will see this but when I was around 5 or 6 I was at the bank with my family. When my parents finished with whatever they were doing they forgot to put me in the car and drove off. I started crying and yelling and an asian fellow that looked like Jackie Chan to me picked me up and ran towards my car and I assumed yelled at my parents to stop. They stopped and probably thanked the guy. I’m 19 now and I think of that guy a lot and wonder what his life is like or even if he’s still alive. I really really wish I could meet him again and talk about that day and just catch up. Life is crazy. It’s just crazy how most of my life that guy was just “the guy who saved me when I was 5 years old” and now I realise he probably tells his friends and family a story about finding a young brown boy running after a car and crying. I have my own story about that day and so does he

Idk why but whenever I feel lost, I find myself coming back to these videos

Every time I experience this, it's kinda depressing. I don't want to only be _my_ main character, I want to be an important character in _everyone's_ story. And knowing that it's an unachievable goal is unbelievably tough to handle.

if you're reading this I hope you're doing alright and life's not being too much of a burden right now. stay hydrated and make good friends, okay?

This is what I love about life. Everyone in the world, all 7 billion of them, have an equally complex and meaningful life as you. I love to travel and just talk to and make friends with people from around the world, hearing a part of their amazing story, before going on my way and probably never seeing them again. That's a great thing about the internet too. Every person in every comment section, every chat board, every video, is a person with their own fascinating story to tell.

Whoever made this video, you should make one about the feeling of having fun but questioning it, like there's no reason to have fun if it's just going to be over soon. Its hard to explain, but it needs a word.

What about that feeling you get when you pass by a random person and realize that for that one brief moment, you were part of a minute section of their life. Or that they constituted a small part of yours.

It's also crazy to think about how some of the main characters in your life, who once seemed so solid and constant, might someday disappear to the background. I wonder about those people, yet I know that their own story is just as immense and full of meaning as mine.

Heh. Most of the time I feel like a background character in my own story.

No matter what will be and what may be. I was here.

Reading some of these stories makes me realize that I've had Sonder moments of my own. For instance, when I am browsing google for something, scrolling deep down into image search results where they become less and less relevant, I'll find random photos of random people for whatever reason they were brought up by my search terms, and wonder "what are those people doing right now?"

Thanks vsauce for introducing me to a beautiful channel :)

When I was a kid, I used to feel that how strange it is, the idea, that I can only experience reality, struck in the my very own perspective, from my angle of view , and can there be something bigger than this... I mean, can I experience it through the eyes of someone else so to speak... I used to wish that everyday I go to sleep and wake up on the other, I wake up as another person, experiencing life through his own unique situation.. or that all of this is actually a dream and when I would wake up, all of the reality, as I am viewing it, constrained in one point of view, would be gone.. and I would be able to experience life through the eyes of one and all...

This has to be one of the coolest feelings I feel on a daily basis. I feel like it also helps give a positive outlook on stuff. Instead of being upset at someone for being rude to you, you can just sit there and think about how they got into that spot? I just find it fascinating.

8 billion people man. It fucks me up everytime i think about it. 8 billion different lives and minds running about on this rock

There needs to be one of these videos that's about the feeling of being disconnected from reality, and how nothing feels real. I get that way too much.

When I visited Ireland this summer, on the second last day I went on a bus tour to a national park. I was travelling alone, all the other people on the bus were couples, except for this one woman. Because we were the only one's who weren't there with someone, the tour guide said we should sit together. We talked a lot over the course of the day and got to know each other a little. The other day we even ate breakfast together. From all the amazing things I've experienced during this holiday, I often find myself thinking about her. If we haven't done the same bus tour, I would've most likely never met this human, we would still be complete strangers and I would've missed out on all the stories she told me about her and vice versa. The little memories we share from that day will forever be a part of both of our lives and I'm really happy about that, on the other hand, it makes me sad that all the people I cross paths with every day all have their own stories I'll never get to know.

I sense that, perhaps, this is why we are drawn in by story, stories, storytelling, and storytellers. Because someone else's story is a tiny glimpse into that other person's world, a place where their world and mine connect and make meaning before we race off again on our own paths. Ironically, hearing someone else's story helps me stay grounded in my own story, reminded that mine is but one of many fascinating and powerful stories that exist in the world. Thank you for sharing your story.

We need a word for the sadness that comes after this. When you realize that you'll never hear all those stories, you'll never feel them, you'll never live them. No matter how many people you desperately try to begin to know. You're crushed underneath the weight of all the lives you're not living, and the lives you're not sharing.

Why did you stop doing these? I love everything that comes from this project. Please give me more you gorgeous human

This is why I love sitting in malls, in airports, in parks. I’ve never really felt apart of this thing we call life. Ive always been more of an observer someone out looking in. And i just sit there with this word in mind and no one notices. And ill see people on their phones or with their friends and it takes me aback, because after we see these strangers we think they just disappear from the world. Just extras aside from the cast of a movie in which you’re the protaganist. But no youre the extra in their life. Its amazing because you realize that even though youll never see them again in that commoniality between you both there is a profound connection

I don't really have a sonder story (not yet, anyway), but every once in a while, I'll remember the meaning and be absolutely astounded. To think that everyone you see has their own story, experiences, relationships, and so on, it's just... stunning to think about.

I am struck profoundly by having unintentionally happened upon this video today (by means of VSauce's video about awkwardness). For, just earlier this afternoon, I had a moment of awareness in which I wrote the following short poem entitled, "Everything." Everything has a spirit. Everything has a story. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected.

I keep coming back to this video and its comment section, year after year. And I still think it's one of the most moving and heartwarming one RU-vid has to offer. Kind greetings from Switzerland.

I just got this word tattooed on me...my first ever tattoo. This has resonated with me for so long, I knew that I had to make it a part of who I am.

As bizarre as it is, I'm actually into the idea of being an extra in other people's stories. I feel glad to honour the fact that we have fuck all to do with each other and never will. It's like, by allowing that, by not initiating interactions that feel forced, we allow each other to live the paths before us more easily, and therefore make it more likely that our paths will cross if they're meant to. There is a quiet beauty in that worth respecting. I often find myself smiling on the underground (subway for Americans) at all people I am almost certain I will never see again. Just like 'it's good to see you all and I wish you the best of luck ya bunch of random legends' hahaha And then now and then an organic interaction does happen, but the power, the joy, the fun, is in not forcing any of it for me, then you can actually enjoy the ride. Enjoy the sound of this tremendous, chaotic, bizarre, never ending symphony that we're all writing together. Sometimes it sounds fucking awful, and some days it's the most sensational thing ever. What's important is turning up for it, like, if you wanna hear it.

This is absolutely wonderful!

This was beautiful. We are huge fans already!

My sonder moment was when I went to group therapy and heard all the stories and fears strangers are going through. Really hit me how you just can't awe it on the outside what other people are going through. And that they might have the same fears as you do.

This is sad, beautiful and happy at the same time. The truth usually is.

Honestly, at some point around 12 years old, I had a period of particularly strong sonder that led me to see myself as a secondary character instead of the main character of my own, and it's a mindframe I still fall into from time to time

I am so totally grateful for this and all of who, whom I will never meet.

whenever i'm on a bus, sitting in a crowded room or whatever, it always hits me that all these people around me will one day be gone and i'll go on never knowing who they were, what their lives were like, what they did for fun, and i don't know, it makes me inexplicably sad. like, i want to experience more than what i already have and i'll never ever be satisfied with only one perspective, i want to be so much more than i already am, if that makes any sense

Finally someone put it into words! I've had this feeling for so long, this wonder and amazement of how every object and person has a story. We are a network of colliding solar systems, and we're all stars. It's mind blowing how you are always surrounded by stories that you will go a lifetime without knowing.

I think about this every time I see a henchman die in an action film. Each man was born, swaddled by mother, fed squarely, and nurtured. Each has been to school, and has had a job, and has enjoyed a home. Each, through hard work and persistence, has leapt clear of some obstacles, and has failed as he has confronted some others. Think of the gulfs of blood, sweat, and tears he has spilt, and conversely all the pleasure he has felt from good food, a musical hook, or a transient carousel ride. Think of all the sadness and despair, and all the death to which he has been a party, and all the people who have abandoned him, and all the circumstances that have failed him. Think also of all the warmth and wonder he has experienced, of every hug and kiss he has ever received, of every hunger appeased, of every warm sock and loving pet. Think of all the clothes each man has worn, all the footsteps he has left; of all the impacts imprinted in the people he loves and those he hates. Think of the hobbies and fears, and think of each man’s proudest days and darkest nights. Think of each man’s ambitions for the future, and his reflections on the past. And think of how he was shot in an instant by the protagonist for whom you root. All life is sacred.

I remember this happened to me at around the age of 12, when I was becoming a teen and having to deal with bigger issues than the end of my favourite TV show. At that time I had this weird division in my head of "sad people" which were those who had some sort of problem, and "happy people" those who had absolutely no problems in their lives, where my friends and family were included. And until that point I thought of myself as a part of the happy people group, until some personal stuff happened which made me anxious, angry and sad. So I got extremely worried that I could become a part of the sad people group, which was mostly composed of people I strongly disliked. But then, as I talked to my friends and got older, I realised every single person has a story with problems, conflicts, happy and sad moments just like me. Even those acquaintances I barely saw twice a year, my friends, colleagues, family members, my parents even had really big issues, most of them bigger than mine. I was absolutely dumbfounded at the fact that there's no such thing as a 100% happy or sad person, that people can be both - most of them are - and took me even longer to accept that I would feel really sad sometimes, but that it is ok. It seems like such an obvious thing, but you never notice how amazing this is until you really think about it.

this reminds me of a kid i met in my ap psychology class. he was blond, blue-eyed and retaking the same test i was. we sat near the back to keep focus. we shared glances and smiled at each other a couple times. we helped each other on different questions neither of us could get, which neither of us ever did. but before i could get another word in he finished his test, closed his laptop, and walked out. i've never seen him before and haven't seen him since. i don't even know his name. this is to him. i know you probably don't remember me. hey i hardly remember your face but still. thank you.

Sometimes when I’m high I remember that everyone has a different perspective both physically and mentally, but I see it as 8 billion screens, ranging from babies, toddlers, children, teenagers, young adults and elderly and it hits me that we all exist at the same, the way that no matter what time it is someone will read this whether during the day time or like me almost 2am, good luck to everyone on there journey of life and always try to appreciate every day because tomorrow is never guaranteed, I love you

I finally found it, the word that perfectly describes every waking moment of my existence. And I found you all. For so long I thought I was alone in this experience and feelings, but finally for once in my life I don't. Thank you. If it makes any of y'all feel better I lived a happy life that even if I die in the next couple of seconds or when I do die, I'll die in peace. I hope you all live happy lives. I really wish I could meet you all and watch you all grow and how your life unravels. I'll always believe in each and every one of you and will always wish you all the best of health, fortunate, love, and happiness. I'm glad to exist in the time to stumble upon all of y'all

How to realize this: Show love and put others first

This is why I named my rescue dog, Sonder. We found each other in a convoluted way with many “extras” and “guest appearances” to bring us together on his literal deathbed. We are inseparable, intertwined with our own pasta but together moving forward. I think the word “Sonder” is beautiful showing how we are all connected in some way.

I always look at a photographs of a crowded place and wonder where the people in it are now. Glad I'm not alone with this.

I don't really view sonder as sad. Instead it's pretty nice knowing everyone out there has a life as wild as mine. I think it's pretty cool.

I can't believe I'm just now learning what sonder means. I never heard of the word before but it came up in a psychology search I was doing, and I found this video as a result. What a beautiful illustration of what exists in my soul. I am one who watches a plane fly overhead and I wonder who they are, where are they going, what is their life like, are they happy, are they running from something....I long to know their story. When I drive, I see a lit window and I wonder what life is like for them. The saddest pondering is when I see a house that has no lights, but the other houses do; and I wonder about the backstory of the vacant house. I absolutely love your video.

I believe that paradoxically sonder is the peak of humanity and empathy. If you can be empathetic enough to understand that you are just one of many similar beings that can feel and experience in the same way you can and you are able to move your point of view outside of yourself and onto a broader perspective, it becomes really difficult to do harm to others.

My sonder story: I was in this feild and this old man walked passed me and asked how l was and l started talking to him. He seemed so genuinely happy and at peace. He told me about his wife who unfortunately passed away. He told me about the love he felt towards her. I always thought love wasnt real and just something you felt once in a life time. He changed my mind. He said he knew she was the one the day they met. It gave me a different perspective on love. He said she was his first and last love. It touched my heart. He said when he was younger he thought he would never find love, but he did. You could tell talking about her made him feel both sad and happy. He smiled one last time and walked off. I think about what he said everyday. Love is real its just hard to find. He really changed my life. I am so beyond thankful for what he said to me. He will forever be apart of my story even if hes just in the blurry background.

Whenever I’m worried about what people think of me, I like to remember that everyone has a life of their own. They’re the star of their show and I am the star of my show. They’re too busy worrying about themselves, and in one of those few cases when someone comes off rude- they’re probably just having a bad day or are a unhappy person.

Today is Halloween 2020, and I got this pretty worn down card from a random stranger as I was walking across the street. He complimented my bee costume, and said, “Thank you man! I love the costume!” The front said in big letters, “Sonder” with the words from this video below it. On the back had a QR code, and it brought me here. So, I thought this was interesting. If you’re the guy who gave me this card and are reading this, thank you! I hope your journey is well!

The world is so big but many of us don’t realize this like myself.

This is why, after watching a show once (usually), I start to wonder about the other people in film - who are they, why are they there, what brought them to be in this film at this time, all the while knowing it's just a film and they are actors. But as Shakespeare says, all the world's a stage...

I thought i was the only person that realised this. In the universe, some star just blew up, 2 people just conceived a child, a child was born, people became best friends, people became enimies, someone died, all of this. Happens in real time, right now. As you and i waste our life on our phones on youtube presumably saw this video amd thought it looked cool. Im happy to realise im not the only one that stops and realises that im not the only person with consciousness and now i realise that other people are thinking about me that way. Edit: im way too high for this.

this made me think of a line in the Pixar film The Incredible as spoken by the antagonist "when everyone's special, no one is". that's how i feel this is describing us, we all live our lives both feeling special, while trying desperately to appear special to those around us, but they're all trying to do exactly the same thing, and its pretty sad when you think about it.

"I think i have already seen you, somehow, somewhen, somewhere..." The analogy of sonder with movie resonates so much in my mind I often lack words to describe truly what am i feeling. Movies are an invitation to be part of the life of someone for a short period of time. A teenage boy, a cop, a firefighter, a god, a bandit, a priest... we are perfect strangers but for a matter of 2 hours, we would feel like we have been friends for so long, brought in the same adventure. And at the end, when the character finally turns away from the camera and walks to the horizon, we feel a sweet and melancholic bliss. Our mind will be stormed by a pleiade of questions : what is happening next ? What will they do after ? What are they feeling right now ? Will they have another goal ? And the most important one : will we ever see each other again one day ? Most of them will be unknown. So is in real life. For all the strangers we have been with even for a very short time, I am still both fascinated and saddened by this feeling of ignorance, an unknown story i won't be able to take part. We didn't know each other's name, we didnt even have a picture together, we just shared a piece of our time, a fraction of it. A little conversation before boarding on different trains, a little help on the streets, a smile, a glance, a laugh... And then fate will separate us and time will slowly kill our memories. But before, i still think about every unknown persons, every unknown stories that are happening right now, now that i am out of their screen. I just hope they are ok and they have reached their destination. And yet, i often imagine : by the greatest game of odds and fate, if our paths shall cross again, as we would become friends, coworkers or married, our first emotion will be probably written in our eyes, a vague feeling coming from the unvanished valleys of our memories " I think i have already seen you, somehow, somewhen, somewhere..." Existence is really fascinating

I always find myself coming back to this video in particular. it's special

is there a word for crying over something beautiful for no apparent reason?

Every thing about this channel makes me want to so and enjoy the world, spend some time in the forest by the sea or go hiking to enjoy the little time we all have on earth and to make the most of that time, to observe the little things like a bug crawling through the grass or a bird flying by all things have meaning but sometimes they just go unnoticed.

This feeling makes me sad and depressed but also gives me reason to live my life however I want to and to do the things that I want to do. As in the end, none of it will matter to anyone but yourself. So go eat that ice cream, buy that car and go on that drive, because in the end it will have only affected your memory of life and how you lived it. Humble feeling it is.

Crazy how you are the protagonist in your life and strangers are classed as NPCS, but you are an NPC to these strangers that are protagonists in their own lives.

This one I identify with the most. As a kid I used to stand in front of this huge apartment building a look at the lighted windows. The people inside, their lives happening there... I used to wonder what it's like to be someone else. This video captures the feeling. Beeing a passer-by in someone else's story. Thank you, John.

One old word to describe this... haunting. The images, the music, the voice... the feelings. Just haunting (haunt·ing *ˈhôn(t)iNG/* adjective: poignant and evocative; difficult to ignore or forget. "the melodies were elaborate and of haunting beauty" synonyms: evocative, emotive, affecting, moving, touching, stirring, powerful...)

Everyone once or so often I come back to watch this show just to remember my own insignificance in life; it humbles me makes me realize hope.

Maybe this is why it’s really hard for me to think back on times that I hurt others or disregarded their feelings. It’s crazy how much our actions can impact others compared to how much thought we put into taking them.

I've lived almost my entire life in the same house, to me it's my entire small quite familiar world. I'm 22 years old I'll be 23 in a few weeks. I don't smoke have always stayed away from drugs and only on special occasions do I drink even then it's very little. For the most part, I'd say I take good care of myself. I'm single and have no children though I hope to have kids someday when I find someone and get married as hard as that will be for someone like me to have kids that are my own. So for now, I adore my niece she's about to celebrate her first Christmas. I like to paint every now and then really whenever I find good inspiration, the only piece of art I've placed in a gallery sold for 50$ the proceeds went to charity. I have a poor sense of smell so I'm always paranoid that I might smell bad. Strangers mostly complement my hair they like that it's soft/fluffy some love that it almost seems jet black but only realizes when they get close that it's heavily graying, someone once said that my dark hair with gray streaks and pale face reminded them of the moon and night sky. When I was growing up I wanted to be a teacher I even tried getting into collage to be one I wanted to be a language teacher so I could travel a little. My mother really didn't want to help me and to an extent, it crushed me. Last night I built a snowman in my friend's yard as a joke. to me, this is a very quick rundown of my life currently. missing large amounts of information but still paints a picture that is recognizable as my life. but to you, my small quite familiar world is completely reserved to nothing but text on your screen viewed in some distant land to read and for a moment pondered then forgotten by someone who I personally will never meet let alone lay eyes upon. I'll end this comment with this last little message, *-Change da world-* maybe take a moment to stop and wave at passerbys sometime. who knows maybe you'll be waving at me.

When I think about sonder, I imagine this. We all know about perspective. The bigger something seems, the closer it is. It’s the same with sonder, as a metaphor and physically. Since we are the closest to ourselves, we see ourselves as the the main protagonist. Our family is the next closest thing around us and is the next most important thing we see in our lives. Same with friends (if you have any), so on and so forth. Who is most important? It just depends on the perspective.

A random person was passing by... and when our eyes glimpsed, even for just a fraction of second, and it all just hit me like truck: Sonder + Opia + Socha + Ambedo. I sat in bench, and I cried and cried. I have never felt so alive.

In her poem, The Speed of Darkness, Muriel Rukeyser writes: "The universe is made of stories, not of atoms." We lose so much when we try to capture objects and moments with single words and terse definitions. But these mini-stories strike much closer to the heart of what it means to be human and alive. Thank you so much.

Sonder This word keeps me sane, but at the price of my bliss... Every time I think of my life I can't help but think of how much I hate it. Not because I'm starving, destitute, with no friends, family or education. Not because I live with debilitating diseases or disabilities. Not because I live on a side of the Earth that is a desert, a dense jungle or a frozen tundra. Not because my country is at war or my homeland is a battleground. Not because my home is under constant threat from natural disasters. Not because my home is surrounded by crime and lawlessness. But because I hate the script! I hate the director! Because I'm not the hero... Because I didn't get the girl or the guy... Because I'm not a genius... Because I'm not strong... Because I wasn't brave even when I wasn't even in danger... Because I'm always in the background... Because I'm the comic relief... Because my adventures don't go anywhere... Because I can't save you or the world even if I wanted to... Because my problems are, somehow, not real problems... ...I don't matter... ...to you... ...to him... ...to her... ...to any one... I am an "extra" and my role is so basic that will not even be granted a memorable death... I will simply disappear and be forgotten. My only solace is that there many of me and only some of you... Is that ok with you?

I'm a doctor, doing residency now. This feels do deep when I look at the hospital towers at night from afar, with countless lit up windows. Maybe I can do a little better next day, help someone else get out of their room, back to writing their beautiful stories.

Named my daughter this…it touched me so deeply when I heard someone use it and then I searched for more information and saw this video 3 years ago while pregnant. I decided that this was important for her to carry with her for the rest of her life. Thank you for sharing this with the world…especially relevant during what feels like such harsh times 🕯️🇵🇸

Thinking about this concept is so humbling. I think we should talk more about it. I thought about this concept so much that I internalized it. For a while now, I don't see myself as the main protagonist. I feel like I'm not looking at the world from my own eyes but from a little above. And it changed my life. When you realize you are just some random person, you realise that nobody cares about you and you can do whatever you want to do. "Sondering" is what finally enabled me to stop worrying about what other people think about me. Cause they don't. Compare the amount of embarrassing memories you remember of yourself to other peoples embarrassing memories. If everyone remembers their own mistakes, then we should know that no one cares about ours either.

As someone who has struggled with solipsistic thoughts, this is one of the most healing videos I’ve seen, and am thankful to the person who came up with this word. Peace and love to all.

Realizing that every person have its own story and life (about which you didn't know anything) is a cornerstone to be more patient and polite to one another. Don't judge anybody, you never know what kind of fight those people are fighting everyday, and how would YOU look like, if you would need to took such battle.

My first job out of school took me out to Iowa. A few months in, my parents back in Indiana wanted to give me some used furniture so I borrowed their minivan to carry it to my place. It was the dead of winter, and on the way back to Indiana to return the van there was a terrible cold snap, maybe 30 below zero, and blizzard conditions. Out in the middle of nowhere I got a check oil light about 5 miles from the next rest stop. Before I knew it, my engine seized up and I was stuck. I faced the choice of sticking with the van and freezing or trying to walk to the exit and freezing. I chose to set off. After about a mile I was regretting it. But just then an 18-wheeler pulled over just ahead of me and blared its horn. The driver insisted that I get in, despite the cab not having a passenger seat because his company did not allow passengers. I offered to buy him the diesel it would take to get me to safety, but he refused. He said he’d just rather not read about me in the papers the next day. So I held onto the strap and he drove me to the rest stop, where I was able to call for a tow, with no harm done. I figure our whole interaction was 15-20 minutes. That was forty years ago. I never saw that driver again, can’t even recall his name or his face now. I’m sure I was a minor footnote in his life, just a dumb kid he did a good turn for, in a lifetime of good turns. But I think of him often with gratitude. Because he surely saved my life.

I sometimes feel the same way about movies TV shows and video games. There are so many of these and I have experienced so many stories lines but I will never be able to listen to them all

The best feeling ever is not only watching these beautiful videos but also finding so many beautiful comments, like yes, there definitely can be some positive space in social media and the internet where we all help each other be better persons, have better lives and create a better world. And Sonder is such an important word for this. Thanks John and thanks to all of you for commenting and sharing your feelings and your lives!

My greatest dream is to write like John Koenig does; to tell stories that hold the weight of his metaphors. I'm working on my first feature length movie at the moment, but I know that I won't feel the same way about my first one the way I feel about this video. The emotional weight that this poem/video/writing holds will forever drive me to push forward as a creator. Thank you John Koenig for making me believe that storytelling will forever be the strongest method for which humans can leave behind a legacy.

i was traveling in a train once, so i was into pick-up artists book that time. how to socialize better so i started striking up conversations with random people as a practice. it mostly focuses on wooing women but it taught more than that. a guy who was a few years older than me became almost a best friend. we spent the whole night chatting about his and my life. he also started telling me about his problems and struggled. i didn't have much to offer as i flunked in high school twice and most of them were halfway in college. the 3rd guy in front us when arrived the next station he AL most thought we were traveling together or related like brothers or something. and in between the conversation i realized we don't even know each others name. which also inspired me to write a book btw. life is short spend your time wisely.

This video reminds me of this one weird statistic I forgot where I heard. The statistic says that if you live in a fairly crowded city, at least 10,000 of the people you pass by every day you will never again pass by in your life. When I first saw it, I was struck with this inexplicable feeling of loss. Now I know the word. Thank you.

Too often, we treat strangers in our lives as just a background character. Society doesn't even bother enough to say, "hello how are you?" or "how is your day going?" So each time I walk up to a service worker or someone at their work doing their job, and I request their service... I don't just walk up and order or I don't just say "this is what I need." I first make eye contact, and I say "hello, how are you? How's your day been?" I know just a little gesture but so many times I see the person's eyes light up and we start a conversation.

Is it weird that all of these videos make me happy?

I'm reading and studying this book with my international students who are learning English. We're having many wonderful discussions.

The world would be a better place if everyone had this realization on a regular basis

When I was in middle and high school and going through periods of feeling alienated and bullied from being shy and different, it always made me feel better to go out and look up at the sky. In my mind I would be looking down at the gigantic world full of billions of people trying to cope with their own problems, and it made mine seem smaller and more manageable. I didn't feel so alone.

When I was in 4th grade I had a panic attack because I had this exact same realization.... that there are other people out there living their lives their own way and its just as self centered as mine. It scared the shit out of me. Thanks for this it makes me happy that am not the only one

There are probably only three moments of my life so far where I have felt sonder. Got plenty of time life being 21 but I just wanna say. If you ever actually experience this feeling instead of just a passing acknowledgment, then hold onto it for as long as you can. For when I experienced sonder it legitimately felt like I woke up for the first time. There were all these new ways of interacting and appreciating the world around me. Cultivate those bonds, try your best to cherish even the seemingly mundane.

I have always loved observing things. One day I was in the hospital (around June 2017), lying on my bed and just observing the world outside my room through the window, I had an eye contact with a guy around my age. It lasted no more than 10 seconds and then our eyes parted ways. It was beautiful and I still think about it today. I wonder what he was thinking on that 10 seconds, or after I looked away. I wonder what it would've been like to have him in my life, to know his name. I hope he's doing great today though. It's just a pity that the eye contact was our only connection.