Spinel: The Effects of Abandonment, Toxicity & Recovery 

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"Amethyst doesn't really hurt others" Amethyst: *Shapeshifts into rose to psychologically torment greg*

Spinel: *exists* The fandom:Just let us adore you Edit(one year later):Yo wth

"She truly believes that she is incapable of ever being loved by anyone, because she has been made unloveable through her abuse." WhOooaa

Okay also Spinel was abandoned for SIX THOUSAND YEARS. Everyone else in the show was abandoned for about 14. I feel like that small detail was skipped over

Trauma is explanation, but not justification

I think the thing about “toxic” is people think misinterpret that as “bad/evil”. It is not. It just means bad feelings are coming up, which can happen to any person for any reason. Everyone has “the worst” aspects of themselves. Spinel was hurt, badly, and that pain was handled poorly by hurting other people. Just cause you are abused does not mean you can abuse other people. THAT is toxic behavior.

Our feelings aren't always our fault, but they're our responsibility.

It kinda shows how messed up gem society is that a living, feeling creature is literally manufactured to fill a role and then abandoned like a toy. I’m sure Spinel wasn’t the only person so badly hurt by the diamonds and their attitude - even if it wasn’t always directly linked to Pink personally.

People will be like "Pink Diamond's abuse doesn't justify her actions" and then when Rebecca says the exact same thing about Spinel they turn around and get mad at her. How people can be so hard on RS I will never understand.

"I wanted to explore what it's like when you're trying to help someone that doesn't wanna help themselves" Dang. Sugar has spine, mad respect

Me: **scrolling through the comment section to see some opinions** Comments Section: **is a literal warzone** Me: *aight imma head out-*

I will say, Spinel is VERY smart and attentive. After watching Steven’s message to the universe about himself, Rose, Pink, and the earth, she completely understood the concepts. When her memories were erased by her own weapon, she still understood information she was given (concepts of consequences, memory loss, reenacting memories to bring them back, etc). Spinel understood the concept of human reproduction, and understood the concept of family (son, mom, dad). She understood Garnet’s fusion, and wasn’t judgmental because she understood that it’s not a bad thing. Not even the Diamonds 100% understood all of this even after many, many long talks and discussions from the Crystal Gems about it. There’s many gems who don’t quite understand Steven’s birth, or how humans work, or what a mom and dad are. But Spinel? Spinel understands it right away, and it’s just really interesting. Her observance and ability to take in what she is told and taught is impressive. Not even Pearl or Garnet are able to process information like her that quickly or easily. There’s things about humans that, despite it being thousands and thousands of years, Pearl still just doesn’t understand. Spinel understood it after only one video, and Steven’s explanation after she got hurt by her own weapon. Spinel was alone in a garden for 6000 years- no one taught her anything in that time, she didn’t move, nothing. I think Spinel will be a great addition with the diamonds. She’s so funny, sweet, emotional, and intelligent. She can learn a lot from the diamonds, and the diamonds will definitely learn a ton from her. Spinel is very human-like, just as Pink/Rose was. I’d say she’s more human than Rose, because Spinel is more irrational, emotionally-driven, and defensive. Rose had the diamond poise and ability to pull herself together- but Spinel just acts on her heart. Rose didn’t understand human things nearly as easily as Spinel does. I just think Spinel’s character is crazy in design, and I love her. I wish we could’ve gotten more from her after this.

“It wasn’t spinel’s fault that she was abused, but it was her fault in how she acted after because she consciously chose to hurt people.” Oof I felt that. Edit: Oh damn i just came back to this video and saw the likes thanks y’all. The reason this resonated with me was because I’m trying to figure this out myself. I can have toxic or enabling behaviors because of being hurt in the past, but I don’t want to be that person anymore. I know I can be better, and I want to be better. Maybe I can be “found and love again”, yknow?

Spinel hurts my heart so much. My mother was a drug addict and basically was my pink diamond. I worshipped her and when she died because of drugs it filled me with so much hate. Now I'm a mother myself and I'm striving to be more of a Greg.

Spinel is weirdly good representation for what it's like to have BPD. I connect a lot with her. I don't act out much since I've got to get help for coping with my BPD, but having Spinel is like a weird comfort.

I feel so bad for Spinel, as someone who’s been abandoned multiple times by people, I get the anger she felt. I didn’t want to poison an entire planet, but you get the point

"Being abused does not give you the excuse to abuse others" is an important lesson that some seriously need to learn. But being able to accept help is extremely important on top or that, saying sorry is not a sign of weakness... Also I will always see Pink as a terrible person though. [Edit: Since some people seem to think excusing Pink's behavior because diamond abuse is ok, geezuz bloody christ it's not. She chose to bubble Bismuth and leave her abandoned in Lion for over 1000 years, she chose to abandon Spinel on the rotting garden rock for over 1000 years, She chose to swear Pearl to secrecy, She chose to take the form of an existing gem in her court inadvertently leading to their genocide, She didn't even take Greg's feelings seriously at first and She never even told most of them sorry.]

As someone who's been clingy and in a toxic relationship: it's wasn't really about "I'm not happy so why should they". The reason I would hurt this person back then was because I really wanted them to know how hurt I was feeling. There were times when no matter how much I tried to explain my pain, they wouldn't understand or listen and the only way to be undertood or at least listened was hurting them back. Not justifying Spinel's bad actions (or my own) at all, just offering a different explanation of why she did what she did.

“Being abused does not give you the excuse to abuse others” 👆🏼I’ve known several people throughout school who were hurt and as a result hurt people physically (hitting and scratching) or forcing all their problems onto them and expected them to be there to fix it for them. Someone I knew who experienced trauma would scratch and hit their friends including me, and would depend on us to be there for them ALWAYS, like spam is with texts if we didn’t respond within a certain amount of time and relied on us as their mental help, but people can only do so much for someone. You can’t count on people who aren’t professionally trained in mental help to BE your mental health care. It’s not healthy, nor is it fair to people. I also think Spinel was destined to be disappointed no matter what because she puts everything in one person, and she tends to be clingy and overbearing, and that’s a problem because that drives people away, however it ABSOLUTELY doesn’t excuse Pink Diamond abandoning her. I hope Spinel realizes that people need time apart and with the diamonds, because I have a feeling that if she puts everything into them, they’ll get annoyed. For example how Spinel wouldn’t let Pink or Steven leave to do something, she just grabbed them and pulled them back to her, and if she doesn’t or hasn’t realized this, the new season might have an episode on this. In the theme song for Steven Universe Future, in the one part, White Diamond looks angry and pink, which I think is her getting mad at Spinel. I definitely think she’ll be a good character to use to teach lessons in friendship.

Spinel: H- Fanbase: *Let us adore you!*

I hate when people criticize how Steven acted in this movie, when he had NO obligation to be kind to the person who is killing his planet and reset his family and yet because he is Steven, is still making an effort for her wellbeing anyway, even if it's reasonably not his first priority. EDIT: i think people are forgetting that he had spent the last 3+ years of his life being galactic therapist and has barely managed to help himself, and just when he thinks he's done, he loses all the progress he has made and has to scramble around emotionally and physically exhausted over the course of a day. so yes, even if he was uncharacteristically dismissive compared to how he has acted in the past, it's still unreasonable to blame him for acting in such a way. we've all been there where we've overextended ourselves to others and are left worn tf out so give the kid a break

I also noticed how Spinel didn't really care for her own life as shown with her reaction to bring sliced by the rejuvenator. Talk about toxic to even one's self.

Actually Pink is also a victim of pretty intense and many ways of abuse by the other diamonds, but Pink hurts them in the only way she could actually bother them: dissapearing, so Spinel and the diamonds are kind of in the same situation but on different levels (now that they recognize their mistakes and blame, they cant apologize to Pink, so they cling to Steven as if he is Pink, they actually kind of think he IS Pink). I think its the perfect place for Spinel, because they all four say "I know you are not her, but you were hers, and you remind me so much of her", kind of finding the replacement the four of them needs to heal with time.

"No one ever wants to see themselves as a toxic person" and yet it's the very moment of *recognizing and accepting that* that allows for change. In Spinel, in my personal experience, and just as likely, _with what you're going through._

Imagine someone calling you out for victim-blaming your own character.

She protecc She attac But most importantly *SOMEBODY REALLY NEED TO HUG HER BACC*

I relate to spinel so much. Once my "best friend" had no more use for me because her ex best friend came back she just slowly ditched me. She left me alone with no one. When i called her out she tried apologizing by saying she just had a lot on her mind. Telling youre supposed best friend that youre ignoring them and forgetting them but having time for everyone else is a bad apology. Ive seen this too many times. Sorry im ranting, this literally just happened today.

One thing I think that's important to note is that Spinel is representative of BPD, her behavior is very similar to someone with BPD, random bursts of anger, anxiety, feeling guilt after the anger fades, etc. I just think that by identifying the mental illness shes associated with, it helps people to better relate and understand who and what this character is

I think part of the reason people who identify with Spinel feel defensive about the way some people talk about her is the fact that she’s referred to as a “toxic person” rather than a person exhibiting toxic behaviors It may not seem important, but identifying someone as a trait can negatively impact how they see themselves. Claiming that “they are toxic” can make one feel like thats just who they are as a person and thus fundamentally predisposed to being stuck that way (Like when spinel says she can “only change for the worse”- she thinks that she’s unworthy of love because of who she is). It makes toxicity feel like part of their identity and thats harmful when it comes to trying to encourage someone to break a cycle However, I noticed you refer to pearls toxicity as “toxic behaviors” rather than her being toxic herself. This sort of language allows her to be identified by her actions- actions being something that we can feel free to change. When dealing with a person who is already delicate about being perceived as broken, I think it would help adjust how we think about them. Especially for all of the people identifying with Spinel. Spinel isnt a toxic person. Toxicity isnt who she is. But she has toxic behaviors that can be changed. Language shapes our realities, it really does matter (sorry im not good at articulating thoughts, but hopefully someone understands what Im getting at)

no one: pink diamond: “aight imma head out” edit: this comment blew up omg

Sirius Black: I did my waiting, 13 years of it! Spinel: Hold my gem.

"I think the reason this statement from Rebecca bothered people so much was because they took it personally." Exactly!

I really liked your interpretation of this, I think it is spot on. I think Spinnel's relationship with pink is a good demonstration of the cycle of abuse. The diamonds abused pink, so pink went on to abuse others (especially early on before she learned to be more compasionate). In turn, Spinnel went on to try to do the same. Having dealt with the generational cycle of abuse myself (at least for the last 3 generations) this is a perfect example of how if you do not deal with your trama, you will just pass it onto others. The scariest thing for me was realizing, shortly after I left the abusive enviorment, that I had begun to act in ways much like my father. I had internalized all the messed up things about relationships that he had taught me, and have had to clock some serious hours in therepy to unlearn so many toxic habits I didn't even realize I had. I think you can see a similar thing with pink; I think she treated spinnel that way because she learned from the other diamonds that that is just how you treat other people, as things to be used and discarded. It was only once Pink and Spinnel recognized how their actions hurt others (or the planet/humans/organic life) and formed loving, healthy relationships that they could begin to heal and change. I really want to think pink tried not to be like the other diamonds, and tried to distance herself from them. But she didn't quite get there and hurt people on the way to learning her lesson. Unfortunately, she was never able to be held accountable for her actions (though neither were the diamonds tbh). Similarly, my father passed on his trama, even though he did try to be better (and probably was to a certain degree) than his parents. While I do very much identify with Spinnel, I know from experience that being able to understand this cycle and the way you impact others is the only way to break it. You have to be responsible for your actions and make a concentrated effort; it's a very nuanced thing to navigate but I feel that it is portrayed pretty accurately.

"Who am I? Who am I? What are you even saying? I'm the loser in the game you didn't know you were playing." No one knew anything about this Gem except Pearl and that's when she flew into a rage.

As a person who suffer from BPD, I can understand Spinel very, amost TOO well. And I aggre with everything you say, I did the same mistakes as her and I did hurt a lot of people and myself, this words hurts so much but they are true... the only thing that I can say is that you don't exactly CHOOSE to have toxic behaviour, in a mad way (and is still not a justification) your brain tells you that you are in fact doing the right thing, that you are being reasonable, your reaction is the right one and that are other people that just can't understand how bad the situation is! And you just NEED to make them understand, they HAVE to feel your pain, your struggle, yes cuz in that moment you think that is wrong that you are the only one suffering even if you did not do anything bad, but also cuz you think that in this way they'll feel sympathy for you, if they feel your pain they will never leave you alone, right? They can't leave after seeing how much you are suffering, but... even if that happend, even if they stay, even if they offer you theyr help you get mad cuz all they can say is to search for help, to work on yourself, to make an effort and try to change (which make you feel unlovable, just as you tought), and all of this are good advices but they all sounds like "is YOUR foult, YOU are the wrong one, YOU have to make an effort while the person who did all of this to you is happy and don't care anymore!" It hurts. It hurts so bad that you have to go through all of this even if you are innocent, even if you are the victim, you never asked to be left behind and still you have to push yourself and feel the struggle of being broken, and when you ear that the only one who can really help you is yourself then you think IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. But... life is not fair. And you have to accept that your abuser will never come back and heal you, nobody will ever heal you with theyr love, you cry and cry, get angry with everyone bust mostly with yourself cuz is seem like you are just not able to give and receive love in a normal way. Spinel in her "good" form was so attached cuz she already felt left out from a group of friends, she wanted to be loved, she needed to be, but she did not fit if not with Cotton candy Garnet, but just cuz Garnet didn't have her memories, like a blank page, while the others did never wanted do be Spinel friends even when she was good cuz they could feel tha she was so desperate that they felt uncomfortable. Okay I'm crying so I think I have to stop, sorry for this mess and thank you for the video. I cried a lot the first time I watched it, you explained everything very well!

as someone whose been in spinels place before, she is absolutely toxic when I was abandon by my friends, when I felt like I had no one, I was absolutely toxic. the first chance of friendship I got I latched on so hard that it hurt both of us so much. despite knowing better, I got so very sad when she would literally just live her life. going to sleep, going to school, going out with other friends, or even just not talking to me in general, it all felt so painful to me because it was like taking away food from a person who had been starving for so very long. I would try to hide my upset aswell, because I knew it was unreasonable. this just resulted in me getting worse and worse to the point I'd try to gaslight her and even threatened suicide if she left me. that is incredibly toxic, the fact I was hurting did not excuse my actions and how I hurt others. the fact that spinel has trauma and that her actions are understandable doesn't make them right. the reality of abandonment, lonliness, and isolation is not pretty. it doesn't just turn you into some poor sad little person who just wants friends. it breaks you and turns you into something so very *desperate* and destructive, both towards yourself and others. it's not pretty, but it's the reality it was so cathartic to see spinel. because there was finally a representation of someone that went through lonliness that I could connect to. thankfully I've become a lot better and I have wonderful friends now, but seeing spinel in all her toxicness feels very validating to me. if someone who also went through the same thing wants to interpret her differently then that's fine, neither of us are wrong. but I feel like to debt the fact she is toxic isn't true to the actual character. she hurts so many people around her and damn near destroys the planet. take that how you will, but that's a fact also rebacca wasn't victim blaming. victims can become abusers too. infact, it's really common for us to do so. all the people who have abused me have been abused themselves. I thankfully didn't stay one, but I too was an abuser at some point. that's not victim blaming, that's painting a very real situation that happens to so many people. stop trying to paint such nuanced topics in black and white

I watched this movie, and didn't realize how much my relationship was like Spinel's. My ex told me that we'd get better for each other, two years later, literally yesterday, I found out he cheated on me with this new girlfriend that he had already moved on. While I tried to improve myself for him and wait patiently, he had already dropped me. His way of "playing games" was occasionally leaving me messages of how much he wanted to fix things and get back together. So I continued waiting. Too much to get into, but basically, I found out he cheated and I confronted the girl and him. And they basically spat in my face and lied to me. I feel used and sad and I understand the route Spinel took. Abandonment sucks. A lot. How do I get rid of this pain? But I don't want to hurt people, like she says, I just want to love. Why did I have to suffer like this. I am already seeing a therapist, but I don't know what else I can do to make this hurt go away. Is it my fault for being naive and trusting. Why. All I can ask is why?

The thing about Pink and Spinel is tragic because the cycle of abuse. Pink was horribly abused by the other Diamonds and they took away PInk Pearl her first real friend and then made Spinel to replace her and I think subconsciously Pink resented her. I think Pink became a better person after Eartn and especially after Greg and honestly her dying was probably the best thing to ever happen to Pearl as painful as it was at the start and while I dony thibn she intended it Steven was able to save the Gems from themselves

This movie healed a long dormant scar in my heart. For a year I was abused both emotionally and mentally by someone I considered to be my best friend. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion of my own and had to go along with everything they thought with no objections. If I stepped out of line, I was personally attacking them and they would snap at me in an instant. I knew this person was hurting me, but I couldn't split it off because I was afraid of being made out as 'the villain'. For months I was driven into emotional meltdowns, often during which I begged them to leave me because 'i wasn't good enough'. They always played this off as me being self-loathing and, at the end, me attempting to guilt trip them, but in truth it was just how they had forced me to consider myself. They had only made me out to be horrible and not good enough, and I genuinely believed that about myself. My cowardice and my inability to cut that relationship off for my own good lead to them finally getting fed up with my inadequacy. If they couldn't 'fix' me, I wasn't worth their time. It was easy for them to use every meltdown I had, every one that they had pushed me into breaking down, to paint me as a guilt tripping demon, and say that I was the one who was abusive, I was the one who was manipulative, and I was the one who 'needed help'. I knew that wasn't the case, but for the 3 years since, I've struggled deeply with accepting myself as better than what they saw. The first two years were honestly kind of crappy. But this last year has honestly been amazing. I finally met a friend group that I have no real problems with. There is no discourse, no arguments... when we disagree, we agree to disagree and leave it at that. And. That was a huge thing I had struggled with ever since my 'best friend' had left me. Even now I surrender at the mere sign of an argument. Not because I agree, but because for the last 3 years I was genuinely convinced my own opinion was wrong and harmful, and I was all too eager to push it down just like everything else. I still struggle to have opinions on things to this day. I have difficulty in social situations because I will flee at the slightest bad experience because I'm not willing to put myself in that kind of position again.But I think the friend group I have now really marked a new era for me. When this movie came out, I watched it, and Spinel's story cut deep. It’s rare for fiction to make me so emotional, but... It just hit home, and it hit home hard. I think about how close I was to being like Spinel. How many times I very nearly snapped on my other friends because of how deeply that person had scarred me. I often struggled with the need to defend myself from arguments, but the only way I was ever able to was to lash out myself. I felt that if I they seemed to want a bad guy so bad, I might as well be the bad guy if I was such a crappy friend. I was tempted, and tried, so many times to run away from that friendship because it truly felt like I was headed back down that road, and I didn’t want to stick around to be ‘the bad guy’ a second time. I’d rather end a friendship on a bitter note and drift away than have the falling out I did with my old friend. I regret hurting those people so much. I know I never put them through anything like what that person had done to me, but I still feel like the scum of the earth about it today. Trauma and abuse is no excuse to mistreat others. Be better than the person who hurt you. If they didn’t have the patience for you, make sure YOU have the patience for others. But that also doesn’t mean you should hurt yourself further. When things look bad, it’s good to cut them off. It’s better to end on a sad note and with good outlooks than it is to end with a nuclear fallout like I did. But you should never do that in the moment. If you still want out after cooling down, consider breaking things off. Your mental health is more important than pleasing others. Your opinion matters. You are not a bad person. Abusers will tell you what they want you to think, and you will not hear the truth from them. And... I want to thank my friend Daniel for starting a new time in my life. Thank you for taking me out of my shell. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for sticking around when I was feeling sad. Thank you for listening to my feelings and telling me they mattered. You’ve been what I needed for a long time. If I could send a message to myself in the past. I would want me to know that everything would be fine. You mean everything to me. I’m still afraid that we might end up not being friends in the future. I will always be afraid of that with anyone I care about. But please know that no matter how I get, the last thing on my mind would ever be hurting you. You made me whole again. Thank you for letting me be me again.

Perfect. You broke this down very well. SU has always shown a range of characters dealing with pain. Spinel must be understood in contrast to Lapis, to Pearl, to Greg, and so on. This context is so important that the film opens by recapping every main character's journey so that we're freshly reminded. I've seen claims that SU is teaching people "you MUST act this-and-this way towards people who abused you" when that's obvious laughable nonsense on even a casual viewing. It's *extremely* nuanced. Lapis never forgives or gets back together with Jasper; their last interaction is her insisting "leave me alone" and her boundary is respected. *And then* Lapis reconciles with Peridot - on her own terms, having decided this person/relationship is salvageable and the other is not. And then in the film, Steven has chosen to work with the Diamonds on a particular project (in this case, a crash course in dismantling armies and learning to say please and thank you to cough *equal* life forms), but firmly establishes his own boundaries. I enjoy that the movie is bookended by him maintaining his independence from them with a kind but firm NO.

Steven Universe has actually helped me make some mental, and personal progress since I've started watching it. That's one thing I've always loved about stories in general, but SU has a good thing to it.

2019: year of the best villains ever

As someone who suffers from neglection from my own parents. I believe that Rebecca sugar did an amazing job representing abandonment issues because I have to go through a days not wanting to hurt someone because of my pain I've always seen people who had perfect families and that why can I have that or why can't I have that I feel like spinel was greatly represented as someone who did suffer from abandonment but she also represented the struggles that come with being abandoned a lot of people who have been a banded want to take their anger out on people I'm one of those I want to take my anger out of people but I know better I lash out on accident I shout I yell I scream but it never feels like I get heard by my parents so I want to take that and force it on the others but I realize that it's not right and has found someone who's able to help me out my beautiful girlfriend(yes I am also a girl fight me) She has helped me so much but most importantly she understands that I have to struggle through having panic attacks almost everyday she's been there for me no matter what and I wouldn't ask for anyone better. Now that I'm much more better in my mental health I realized my actions on lashing out to others was extremely toxic and I should have done it I used to be such a toxic person and in all honesty I'm happy I met her because now I have changed for the better

spinel is relatable to a lot of people. i love that Sugar based the story off of a character suffering from abandonment trauma, especially since it's quite a sensitive topic.

I think Rebecca actually has stated the reasons that Pink left her behind: One half of it was because of her being grating, and the other half being that she felt she needed to move on and simply didn't think of how telling her to stay in the garden would affect her (most likely just thinking she'd eventually come to her senses and leave). I definitely agreed with your interpretation of Spinel- I have heard that she might appear in Season 6, so I'm hyped to see how her development might continue (as she has more growing to do)!

This literally Steven Universe: Toy Story....or the whole entire plot of the Toy Story Saga...It’s a toy’s worst nightmare. Pink was given a new “toy” to play with, (as Spinel was literally created to be Pink’s Best Friend) and once Pink got older (figuratively), and people were starting to take her seriously, she no longer had a use for her. She was just tossed out and forgotten. A toy’s worst nightmare. Creating all these happy memories w/ their owner, thinking that they are more than that, only come to find out that they weren’t. She was just a phase, just like any toy. Kind of like Lotzo’s story from ToyStory 3.

This video kinda feels like a therapy session. I haven’t been through many traumatic events but I still feel like you don’t have to go through something traumatic to be toxic. Having low self esteem can make you a toxic person because you feel like if you don’t deserve to be confident neither should someone else. And I am speaking from experience. Opening your heart to change can be hard but it’s never impossible. I really love this video

I think Spinel is the character that best embodies depression out of all Steven Universe characters, even more than Blue and Lapis.

Not saying she's completely innocent but really pink leaving her behind ouch

Pink: I’m gonna go buy cigarettes You know the rest

Hot take... I dont think Spinel was toxic because atleast the crystal gems had some type of moral support such as Steven and eachother, while she was left alone with no one to keep her company and pain for, mind I add you, THOUSANDS OF YEARS. I think anyone other than Spinel would turn mad crazy and filled with rage with years of abandonment. Rose was her only "friend", while for Pearl after rose was gone, she had Garnet, Amethyst, and Steven. She wasnt abandoned like the way that Spinel was from Rose.

The most messed up part to me is the fact that if Spinel DIDNT lash out and hurt others, she would have never gotten the help she needed. A lot of people who identify with spinel, myself included, dont get the opportunity to get help because we have things like morals standing in our way, so we dont want to hurt others, so instead of being mad and lashing out, we just bottle the feelings up and nothing ever happens but more damage to our self worth. Im just musing on the fact that as humans, we lash out and get angry when we are wronged as an evolutionary action to get help and let us grow and move forward. Its like the movie "inside out" where they realize at the movies end that being happy about everything isnt always the right way to deal with stuff. we need to be sad to signal those around us that we need help. I think anger and the "toxicity" mentioned works in a similar way. What exactly was spinel supposed to do in the garden after everything? just...stay? or go to earth and join the new gem colony? Would she tell others where she was and what happened to her? would they even listen? Sometimes we have to be drastic to call attention to the pain we are in so others can understand the severity of whats happened to us. Simply telling someone isnt always enough. It doesnt convey the pain accurately enough to let others get it. We should be allowed to process our feelings in the way we first react. If something makes you angry, be angry. But when the time comes to make the decision to keep being angry and hold on to the hate, we can let it consume us, or learn to move on. And this is admittedly hard to do by oneself. Often the reason we lash out in the first place is because we need help. But we dont all have someone like steven in our lives willing to be understanding and help us move forward, so damage is inevitable. Thats why most turn to self harm like drugs or alcohol, mostly in the "bad" neighborhoods where there is no counseling, no responsible adults or figures to help children understand their feelings, so it just leads to more destruction in society like theft, child abandonment, poverty, and other "scummy" things higher society judges them for. Its easy to judge others by the bad actions they do, but it takes a specific type of empathy to realize why the bad things people do are happening in the first place. Thats why a lot of school bullies often have really bad home lives themselves, the bad actions we take are often a cry for help. Moral of the rant; We need more people like steven in the world. Try to be the kind of person willing to help others project how they really feel, then help them overcome what they been through. Being understanding is hard, but empathy is one of the best qualities that make up a truly good friend.

I could have ended up just like spinel. I think with this character we see the bad effects of being left behind. In my heart I feel like spinel was a corrupted gem. She lost her purpose and made one for herself. That being destroy the one who had hurt her. She wasn't thinking about the consequences of her actions because all she could think of is hurt the one who hurt me.💔 Because pink wasn't around the next person in line was Steven and the gems. Sometimes when you get hurt by someone you love you think I deserved it. Spinel realizing that she is worth love through Steven actions is what made her realize that she is worth the love. You can't just get over the hurt overnight. The mindset that spinel was in takes time to get over. You have to realize who is to blame and that it wasn't your fault. It took me over 20 years to realize that what happened to me and my family wasn't my fault. What Rebecca has shown with this show is how people deal differently with trauma and how they deal with it. Some take it out on others, while others take it out on themselves. I love this show for bringing to light the different types of peoples pain and how they deal with it. This movie showed the really toxic ways people can deal with hurt.

"Better off now than they were before." 11:49 I had two freinds I worked so hard to keep for so many years. Met them in elementary school, transferred schools until returning in high school. I tried to keep them as freinds, but they didn't reciprocate. They let me be around, but never put any effort in. I don't have friends anymore, really, yet I feel better off because I'm not fighting a losing battle for something not worth having to begin with.

I think spinel is the best villain of 2019 no joke

When I first saw Spinel, I nearly had a heart attack, with how much I relate to her trauma. Heck, look at my avatar, been using this OC for years.

I honestly feel like I relate to Spinel more than any other character I have ever seen. Yeah, she is toxic. I hate it when I'm toxic, I always feel like I'm never good enough for friendships or any praise. Making friends has always been such a difficult thing for me, peopme would often use me, hate me before getting to know me, and/or never interested in me as a person. All of this made me think that no one would ever want to be friends woth me, especially when everyone always blows me off for someone else.

What you have to understand is that Pink abandoned Spinel before she became a leader and lost her immature personality. I'm sure in later years she regretted leaving Spinel, but thought there was no going back from that. That's how I see Pink. Character development exists for a reason you know. Plus, Pink/Rose making all those mistakes prove that the Diamonds aren't immune to imperfection as they believed.

Abuse can hit a level of intensity where it is impossible to articulate how hurtful it is without hurting yourself even more.

I just realized that Pink was the same as spinel. She felt worthless and abandoned. She was the smallest and youngest diamond and she had to endure the scorn of her maternal/sisterly equivalents whenver she stepped a toe out of line. More so, before the spinel situation, she had lost her original diamond, who, from that dream flashback we saw from steven on homeworld, seemed to support her very undiamond like behavoir. support and encourage her better nature. Basically her true 'mother,' pink pearl was taken from her. And worse, turned into a disturbing voicebox for White diamond.

This hits me in the feelings. I was in a toxic relationship too. For four years. They were so toxic no that I look back. They were my first love. They would come and go for months on end. I didn't realize that they went to other people. I tried to get back in touch him. It happened for years. Then I realized that they didn't love me at all. They used me. I was so hurt. I wanted to hurt them so much. I was toxic too. I lashed out at people sometimes when everything that i had bottled deep me. If I hurt people I didn't mean too. I love Spinel so much.

I just wanna say, this made me cry. Literally for so many years I've tried so hard to fix myself instead of just accept that something's wrong. I have BPD and in many ways act just like Spinel. I react toxicly to current situations depending on my past. And I thought well and hard about this. I need to get better. I have to get better.

I just think it was simple miscommunication. People probably thought that Rebecca meant Spinel was toxic DURING her relationship with Pink. I still don't really like the aspect of making her being annoying as a character trait. It kinda rationalized Pink to abandon her, and Steven to shoo her of to the Diamonds. Like the story never changed the aspect of her being just a toy.

I think the issues that cause this is feeling absolutely helpless in an abusive situation. A lot of people often dismiss it and undermine it so often it's unreal. Especially if it's the parents. I agree it takes work from both sides, but from what I've seen and known. People let out so many cries for help and end up shutting down because they think. " Why talk to a wall if it doesn't talk back. " So many people make the mistake of shutting down other people when it comes to abuse.

The main issue is here that hurt people hurt people. And it's usually not a conscious decision, it's typically something subconscious that feels pleasurable or temporarily alleviates that pain and trauma that they carry. It's not based in rational or logic. Most people don't know how to fix themselves and will typically lash out at anyone they can (even if they're trying to help), even with a lot of sacrifice and patience from someone whole theirs no guarantee that someone damaged will recover.

Pink: I've got a game for you Spinel: ok! Pink: You, sit still. And wait here. while I, go over there. Spinel: Ok. *Pink leaves* Spinel: This is a good game. *years later* Spinel: She'll come back *many years later* Spinel: Is she? *So many years later the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one* Spinel: She's not coming back.

"Trying to help someone who doesn't wanna help themselves." Now try being raised by and living with, a Mother that struggles with this same issue smh

Steven Universe: The ongoing story of an enigmatic, unforgetable figure that left a huge impression on everyone she met, each of which knew her at different stages of her life... and how she changed/ruined each of them.

I like both versions of Spinel. Her old form is adorable. She’s just so happy and pure I love it. She’s like Bubbles. Who’s also my favorite PPG. 💙 yeah she might be clingy but I feel like her purpose is to make the gems around her happy. Like how pearls are supposed to be servants to their gems. So it’s just in her nature. Not trying to justify anything wrong she did but also trying to put in a perspective. Her new form is kinda relatable. I think we’ve all had a point where we’ve just lost faith in humanity. I know I have. But yeah I like Spinel. 💙💖

You forgot about Sapphire in the beginning cuz Rose lied to her

Steven Universe is basically a show about emotionally damaged people making more emotionally damaged people

I deal with these issues every day. I have PTSD due to abandonment as a child, and I’m so happy this subject is portrayed In any light at all. Spinnel is someone I can relate to so heavily I can’t listen to drift away without getting a trigger. Even though it’s a bittersweet character for me I’m just overjoyed people now have more information about people who have to go through this like me. It’s so easily to fall into this pit of anger for everyone and everything. Abandonment is no excuse to hate and distrust everyone. (this is me basically talking to my past self) this is something I struggle with every single day. Thank you Steven universe for making her.

I don't really like how it ended. I think spinel should learn to love herself and become more independent before getting into that depended relationship on the other diamonds

I dropped out of the Steven Universe fandom ages ago, but I still pop in from time to time. As soon as I learned about Spinel, I smiled because 1) her villain song is a heckin’ BOP and 2) I saw what she represented and I knew that was going to be really important for a lot people

*inhale* Characters aren’t perfect, don’t expect them to be. Everyone in the show/movie are flawed. That’s all I had to stay…… Thx 💎

Spinel is one of if not the best examples in animation of a mentally abused victim lashing out at the people she sees as responsible. She still acts like a villain, but she is still a victim as well. When you are as mentally damaged as she was, where she believes that she can't change for the better and believes that everyone is going to abandon you sooner or later, you force others away and then when they do abandon you, you feel just justified in treating others like garbage because they fulfilled your expectations that they were always going to abandon you. It's a self fulfilling prophecy and like Spinel it spirals out of control until YOU change your outlook and force yourself to change for the better and find people who you can trust and love. You can see Spinel trying so hard to hate Steven in the final battle, even to the point she is hitting herself to help maintain her anger and pain even though all Steven is trying to do is help until she has a complete breakdown and realizes what she is doing. Spinels recovery will take a long time, but her decision to stop fighting and her realization that she is making it worse are steps towards healing. While going with the diamonds may not be the best idea since it is Spinel entering a codependant relationship where the diamonds need her to remind them of pink and she needs them to have someone to entertain it is still a step towards healing as she is willing to open herself up to love, to be around people again, and risk being abandoned again. there will be backsliding like she did when she found Steven still had the regenerator, but that is one of the many hurdles in dealing with mental illness and abuse.

Feeling like nobody will want you because of your damage and trauma and self sabotaging yourself despite being so freaking sad about it. Yep. 100% me.

The beginning though

I honestly broke down during movie seeing spinel's pain, its sad that I relate to it. I had a group of friends whom I was close with. I don't know what I did wrong but one day they kicked me out and let a person that they barley knew in the group. It hurt so much I used to have nightmares of them abandoning me. My best friend that we grew up together was in that group, she didn't invite me to her birthday parties anymore and when I'd ask she'll make excuses why she couldn't invite me. I keep thinking to myself "maybe there is something wrong with me." I felt that I wasn't needed anymore. I'm tired of being used and disappointed in my relationships.

I'm really grateful for this video. It really shows how much of a great understanding you have about this topic. I have PTSD, I have so much empathy and understanding with Spinel. I am really glad you made mention of Pearl though, so many things that people do can be completely unconscious and can be unintentionally hurtful.

Spinel mirrors CPTSD or BPD and its painful and powerful to see. I can barely get through anything about her without sobbing.

Toon Ruins: Toxicity Me: THATS RIGHT I HEARD THE STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN

I have a special place in my heart for Spinel. She was always a cool and interesting character before, but when my best friend watched this with me, I felt the true wait of everything she went through. My best friend was abandoned very similarly to Spinel, but under different circumstances. These circumstances led to her having nowhere else to go and moving in with me. She was very much like Spinel with all the pain that she covered with anger, and so she related to her on a very personal level. She always told me, "I don't know what I would be like if you didn't help me during those times. When my own family chose themselves over my without hesitation. If I didn't have the love and support from you and your family, I could habe been like just like Spinel." My best friend never really had an interest in SU, but when we watched the movie, it was one of the first times I ever saw her cry. Now she has her own copy, and adores the movie very much. Thanks for you're amazing content as always

What if you Wanted to go to Earth But Pink Diamond said “Let's play a game”

*_[Aw, poor Spinel... good video, though... but now I'm sad again...]_*

Great video! I wanna add to your points that... I think the fact that she went from one person (pink diamond, steven) to three people (the diamonds) makes a huge difference too. It allows all of them to have a balance of each other rather than Spinel relying on one person to give her all that love (or give all her love to them). I think the movie’s conclusion reflects a more realistic, healthy way people work with relationships. Not to you can’t have someone you know longer and/or know better and/or more romantically than platonically, but I’ve found opening myself up to others than relying on one person (and putting them on a pedestal) can help with pressure on both ends. Like, spreading out your love equally, healthily to more people is better than to focus it solely on one person. It takes emotional weight off of you and them ☺ More options and perspectives and love from those options and perspectives, the better!

"Being abused does not give you the excuse to abuse others" is an important lesson that some seriously need to learn.

Something my therapist says all the time :its okay to have feelings, feelings are brought out from you, what it's not okay to do, is not take responsibility for them. You are responsible for your feelings and what you do with them. Period. Love spinel and her growth! She's amazing c:

Damn, Spinel is one of those characters I cried about. The 1st two were Pearl and Lapis. A lot of my friends left me, because they thought I never took anything seriously, and that I was careless. And what was going on around my family. Becoming a better person is a hard thing for me to do... This hurts a lot, when this continues for a long time...

The people who lashed out at Rebecca for "victim blaming" have never had to deal with a broken person and it shows. People are allowed to have their traumas, their pasts and all the feelings and thoughts that comes with it. What they are not allowed to do is hurt everyone around them, making a conscious decision to be a toxic person. I have been both the aggressor and the helper. It's cost me a lot of happiness and some close relationships but I finally realize that you as the person who has suffered has to make the decision to get better. People are not obligated to deal with your shit, they aren't bound by contract to deal with your abuse.

Toxic is too simplified for me as a trope for Spinel. She was a gem made to act like a literal child. A child would act the way Spinel acted and her growth would resolve that if given time for growth.

This film cuts to the bone, I thought it handled the topic of abandonment extremely well and it hit very close to home, major props to Rebecca and her team for conveying this delicate topic so well.

That opening was so funny. As someone once said: "Our past doesn't define us who we are. Its our present and future and what we do in that time define us." The path of recovery from toxicity and trauma begins with a single step, but you're going to have to accept and want that change. Otherwise, you'll stay the same.

Spinels story touches closely to my heart, everything you said in this video hits home... I’m toxic... I’m sad...

Steven : Is there’s any other gems my mom hurt that I should know about?? *Spinel intensifies*

although ive never suffered abandonment... ive been hurt by bullying and spinel helped me realize not to inflict the pain I'm feeling onto others... honestly I can see my toxicity now and I'm sad...

11:30 “Amethyst doesn’t really hurt others either” 11:33 - scene in which Amethyst directly terrorizes Greg Just a small nitpick of mine though. Still an all-around great video

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! I lied we’re all crying. Crying helps. Thanks Steven

I can confirm, the circle of abuse is a real thing and no one should fall for it. Being hurt does not give you permission or justification to hurt others.