Stalking is a terrifying experience and it produces so many overpowering emotions. It is exactly the way you have described, you feel intimidated, powerless, you self-isolate as you can not feel safe anywhere you go. This is an extremely cruel and painful way the abusers feel entitled to ruin their victims lives. The worst case of all is when the stalkers feel as if being on a moral crucade to convert the infidel. It is often done with the help of many other people who are acting as the stalker’s agents and those May even include your family members and awuaintances. It is shaking the victims sense not only of physical but also psychological safety. This kind of contact is evil and damaging in so many different ways. I believe the best way out is to try and ignore the stalking in any way possible and seek help and support. It has been happening to me for a long time now and I think the only way out is by talking about it outloud. Thank you for the help and support I get from your channel Darren.
I'm so sorry to hear about ur horrible experiences w stalking. I can understand w compassion and agree w you in regards to how scary it is but how important it is to seem unbothered. When you have a great team of resources, we let these people know about the stalking amd fears accompanied by such. We survivors who endure this, live taking videos and pictures, documentation w dates and times, changing phone numbers ect... But there are viable ways to get the criminal activity to stop a whole lot faster by implementing specific docs so the courts then bypass family court and escalate immediately to criminal Court. Ive learned the hardest ways in how to protect myself and get justice. But man oh man did it take a toll on my adrenal system. Ive been recovering ever since. May safety and protection cover you w all the help and support you need.
Good post,I myself is going through this, lots of people and family have helped, its like another planet where everyone has changed who they are as people, somehow they have been converted into people that want to destroy you, or your career.
And you don't think the STALKER is going through he'll. Why don't you take your own advice that you give to your stalkers and go to fucking therapy too!!!
Good comment. However, it can be difficult to find support sometimes. A victim of stalking (and harassment alike) can be construed as unstable, delusional, schizophrenic and so on... very unfortunate considering stalking is not even that uncommon (albeit not outright common either). Turn to your most trusted friends, I would say. Even better perhaps, a psychotherapist. Stalking is absolutely reprehensible, stay strong in your own sense of reality.
You are ostracizing people. Many "Stalkers" are lonely bullied by the majority don't have multiple friends like you do. Many ostracized people for being ugly, losers, creeps who want to befriend people in general but they don't know where to start first. Never heard building up a network first? So they start talking to one to one online with people. Many people falsely accuse intelligent lonely people as stalkers because they have a very rich social life with multiple contacts everyday, and are often too dumb to even remember everything what they said to other. While many "nerds" who are in fact intelligent usually get called stalker by multiple people they interact one to one. If everyone would say : never talk to a stalker it would make it only worse for stalkers trying to talk to others. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy in many cases. Sending them to a psychiatrist means they stalk the psychiatrist because everyone abandoned him leaving only the doctor to talk How about society being inclusive?
F... Off!!!!! The "stalker" is suffering a lot as well, and you can't imagine if the person or "object of desire" ignores you, can be really depressing and sometimes we need closure or something, even when we know it's not gonna be the last time on writing that person, or looking through their info, sorry I got mad at first and said that, but gosh, it's painful........
You just phrased it perfectly because I used to fall for the bait for that one too many times without realizing the obvious thing that you say: that's just giving them an INTERMITTENT REWARD to do more mistreatment
Also if you cut off Twitter, they come to Facebook. When you cut them off there, they sneak into your home. They follow you around to the store and laundry.
I feel like my stalker was a blend of almost all of the types. He started stalking me when I was 18, unbeknownst to me. Then he insinuated himself into my friend group when I was 20. I dated him briefly. When I broke off with him he insisted we "stay friends". I was very, very sheltered and naive and had no idea whatsoever what a dangerous person he was. I didn't know how to handle his obsessive behavior so I tried to "manage" it by "staying friends". He befriended my older brother and they would do things like going fishing together, and when I asked my older brother and his wife to please cut off all contact with him they both refused (in my opinion, they are both narcissists). I had a horse training business, and it was at a large public stable which meant I could not keep him from coming onto the premises. He went around and spread lies about me to everyone who would listen. He poisoned my horse. He drove nails into the hooves of my other horses. Later he stabbed one of my fillies, trying to slice her jugular vein and missed it by a sixteenth of an inch. The veterinarian who stitched the wound had to put in 4 layers of stitches and told me the vertebra in her neck had been nicked. He was a Vietnam veteran and put on the receipt for the surgery that it was a combat knife wound, and he knew one when he saw it. My stalker would show me his gun collection and knife collection, and retrospectively I knew which knife he had used. I called the police, and a detective came out and talked to me. At the time I had no idea who would or could do such a horrific thing. He pinpointed this "friend" and told me that he had done it. The problem was that the stalker had moved into the apartment next to mine. I moved. At my new house, I often had a feeling someone had been in my house when I was gone. I had been gone one Saturday all day and came home to my front door wide open and my dogs loose in the street. When I walked into my house, he was sitting at my computer reading my emails. I called the police and they arrested him; he was out within two days. He repeated this twice more, but I felt he had been in my house without being caught several other times. He poisoned my dogs twice by throwing the poison over the wall into the yard. I barely saved them by rushing them to the vet and having activated charcoal on hand. I could go on - there is almost no aspect of my life he did not try to infiltrate and damage. He succeeded to one degree or another in almost all of them. He left unwanted gifts hundreds of times over the years, at my door, at my mother's house, on my car, at my place of business. He intruded into my office building when I worked for a real estate company. He followed me on dates. Finally I met my future husband, and he followed me on those first dates and slashed my tires when I returned home. Then the second weekend, he called me non-stop all weekend. I didn't answer, so he left a voice mail saying he had taken poison and that I needed to come over and "save" him. In my mind, his suicidal behavior was really homicidal. I called the police and they had paramedics take him to the hospital. The police told me he had to have his stomach pumped at the hospital and then he was kept there on a mental illness hold for 72 hours. I finally got a restraining order, but a veteran police officer told me it was just a piece of paper and might make the stalking worse. He told me that they could not protect me 24 hours/seven days a week and that his assessment was that I would be murdered if I didn't leave. I left everything behind and flew to Canada where I rented a small house. By the time I flew to Canada, I was such a wreck that I couldn't eat and could only sleep for four hours at a time. That lasted for two years after I arrived in Canada. I dated my future husband and eventually married him. Every time I went back to California, the stalker stalked me at my mother's house. My brother never did cut off contact with him. Eventually, at the 18 year mark of stalking, my brother told me "something sad" had happened. My stalker had died of pancreatic cancer. There's a song I like, called "Goodbye Earl" by The Chicks. In that song there's a line that applies to the stalker "He was a missing person that nobody missed at all". That's the real truth about him. I'm glad he is no longer alive to hurt any other person or animal. Stalking is a crime that happens every. single. day. It is not a one-time crime. It is a crime that never stops. As for advice - read the book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. If you are being stalked, the book will help you get over any denial you have and help you to assess how dangerous your stalker is and it might help you to save your own life. Sorry this is so long.
Light Wing , I wonder why your brother was keeping this contact to his death .Wasn' t he ( made ) aware how much damage the stalker did to you and your animals ???
@@connys.a2412 - I will tell you, but it's very ugly. My oldest brother, I'm really convinced, is a narcissist who married a narcissist. There are many reasons I think that. When my brother's wife, I'll call her "M" had her first child, a girl, I was visiting when the baby was about 10 months old and was "cruising" around the room - getting ready to walk. She was holding onto the bookshelf on the perimeter of the room and scooting around holding on to things as she went. She stopped at the bookshelf and because she was teething, she stopped to teeth on a book. Her mother went over to her, grabbed the book and violently slapped her on the mouth. A ten-month-old (not that at any age that is acceptable). Also, at another time later when the baby was about three, the baby was sitting on a couch while her mother sat in front of her on the floor watching T.V. The baby wanted to brush her mommy's hair, so she let her. The baby accidentally caught some of her hair and pulled but only while trying to brush her hair. M turned around, grabbed the brush in a fury, yanked it out of her hands and yelled at her to "stop that!". Another time, her youngest, a boy, was sitting on my lap while we watched a movie. He kept on exclaiming at things in the movie loudly. We were in my brother and his wife's living room, not a theater. M told him furiously to stop. (He was almost four). He couldn't help himself and exclaimed loudly at something that happened again. I watched M go over to the kitchen sink and put dish soap on her finger. Then to my utter shock, she came over to her son and put the soap in his eye. Which resulted in him screaming and crying. I only realized this just after she did it. I had two options, one, to call child services. At the time the child services department in our county was making headline news for their abject failures and for the rampant numbers of completely unacceptable foster families they had placed children with. The other option was to have a talk with my older brother. I had never observed him being abusive toward his children but clearly he was allowing his wife to be sickeningly abusive. Neither had physical abuse ever been a feature of the family my brother and I were raised in. So, I had a talk with him, which of course backfired - one of the reasons I know now that he is a narcissist. From that day forward he has been on the warpath against me and has never forgotten it, nor has his wife. That is the reason I believe he actually enjoyed his "good friendship" with my stalker.
My gut is telling me this is possible. Thank you for your words. OMG no one should ever endure what you did. There is a reason I took a gun with me when I ran. And he took note that I did. I pray you have some joy in your life with your husband.
My neighbor has been stalking me and my wife for about 2 years. Watched us through the bushes, came to our work and followed us around. Drove behind us on the road. Walked by our property several times a day and night, stopped and stared in, shined a flashlight onto us, our property and our windows. We got a restraining order against him, and things are somewhat better. Now, he waits for us when we come home, because he lives next door, and he lights a smoky fire as soon as we come home, then immediately puts it out. Then, as we're walking through our yard, he follows us on his side of the property, banging things around and making noise. Then, he gets on his motorcycle and repeatedly drives by. His life revolves around us.
That sounds awful. If you could sell up,and move away I would if I were you. That sort of mental aggression can give you a nervous breakdown if it goes on five years or more. It’s not illegal for him to set his fire and put it out or walk on his side of the hedge but it is red flag behaviour. Nutty fkkkers like him can act extremely unreasonably and violently when you don’t expect it. He’s gearing up to violence imo. 🙏 he’s not going to change but if you can put distance between you, he’s unlikely to follow you to another neighbourhood.
Thanks for sharing; this is the type of weird people I meet! I had a neighbour this batty at my last house - I thought I was the only one. She blocked me in my drive way. Shone lights on me as I arrived home. Screamed she knew that I was a prostitute ( Im not). Put up signs against the fence line that I am not to use lasers. Poisoned native plants/grasses in my garden. Threw buckets of leaves and sticks over the fence daily. Really bloody nutty - I was really glad to leave as though the house was really a great house; the experience of her was just awful and always just in the background.
Let me guess, just as you're about to leave, he just happens to be going out or, taking the trash out in a deliberate attempt to encounter you. I'm absolutely sick of them. They develop a strange fixation and they start to become addicted to the cat-and-mouse game. You were fortunate enough to be granted the restraining order, sadly, I'm not that fortunate because he isn't acting alone so it's very difficult to prove.
My own mother also did this She called me at work relentlessly (I'm a nurse so it was quite disruptive) , went through my trash bin outside, planted vegetables in my backyard, packed all her belongings and tried to have them delivered to my house I refused the shipment, when she was watching my son she went through my closet and tried on my clothes (my son told me). She even peed in my backyard my husband saw her doing it. just no boundaries I have never known anybody else with a mother like this it's like she wouldn't let me be
Years ago, I was attacked and badly beaten by a man who was stalking a woman I was dating. I had no idea she was being stalked. He broke into her house in the middle of the night because he saw my car in her driveway. This guy was enraged. I was sleeping, and awoke to find this creep looming over me. He threatened to kill me. Then he attacked. I never had a chance to defend myself. The police did nothing because I didn't know who the guy was, and the girl refused to identify him, because she was so scared of him. Obviously, I stopped dating her at that point. Stalking is no joke. It indicates severe emotional derangement. It can and does lead to violence and murder. Strong laws and enforcement are needed to limit the damage these people do. It's not just men either. I've been stalked by women I've dated. No bunnies boiled (yet) but it sure is creepy....
Yes stalkers are psychotic or at the very least cluster B it's very scary when you have a bunch of them following you around who knows what they're thinking or what they really want
@@RonkeStationwhat did you just post you little insect the guy was attacked by the stalker could have died she never mentioned to him she HAD A STALKER at all putting him at risk! Then when he is beaten badly she refuses to identify the stalker for the police there is NO excuse for that type or behavior even if she has a stalker I am glad he left her!
I know one of these creeps. He stalked a friend of mine, used me to get to her. Then he denied it, even when he was caught in the act. These ppl are psychopaths, narcissists, and generally unpleasant to spend any time with. Hell, this guy even found me by stalking ppl on the internet. Carefully SCREEN everyone in your life with multiple tests; if they refuse to take tests then cancel them from your life.
The burden of being severely stalked is a huge weight to carry alone. You need someone to support you and help you with this burden. Someone who will believe what you say, will comfort you or sprone you on in the difficult moments when you feel like giving up. You need help with the practicalities of bringing a court case (selecting the worst messages, printing them, going to police stations multiple times to report the acts of the stalker, lawyers' offices, court hearings, preparing yourself for depositions). If you have children to care for, are working a full-time job and you have to add all of this to your weekly routine things can become overwhelming. In these cases a shoulder to lean on/someone who gives practical help can be the one thing that gets you to the finishing line without crumbling to the floor.
Yes the weird thing is I'm pretty sure that my mom or my family are the ones who started having me stock probably about 2 to 3 years ago by these flying monkeys and the thing is like if you look into the psychology of people who stalk they're very scary and unstable people so by inviting a bunch of those people into your life you never know what they want or what their motives are
It is so incredibly violating, you feel helpless, victimized over and over. My mother in law is my stalker, being an older female too, most people minimize her behavior. Sweep it under the rug and play it off as not harmful or dangerous. Yet if you had the same behaviour being perpetrated by a young male everyone would call it dangerous. Breaking into my car and leaving unwanted gifts after ending the relationship. Turning up at my work and sitting there for an hour staring at me grinning with the most demonic smile I've ever seen, just intimidating me. Turning up to playgroups for my children, attempting to snatch one of my babies out of my arms that she wasn't allowed to be around or have any contact with. Coming to my house threatening my life infront of my children. Using her other children her abusive son (BIL) to abuse and threaten me in my own house again infront of the children. Turning up at my work spreading lies and slandering me to my employees. Telling our small town community I'm crazy so when I did finally start telling people about the stalking and abuse there were plenty who wrote me off and played it down. She abused me while I was pregnant tried to force me to have an abortion claiming she had the right to dictate what happens to MY body. Made me develop severe pre-eclampsia form the stress and put my twins in NICU for 15 weeks. I'm in a wheelchair from the complications both my sons have significant developmental delays and medical issues form the pre-eclampsia. And almost 5 years later she continues to terrorize me. I barely leave the house anymore, a few months ago she aggressively followed me in the car almost causing me to run off the road fleeing from her. But she's a 67 year old granny so people think it's perfectly okay. The trauma I live with is all consuming.
I am so sorry to hear this. Her age will be her undoing I think. Be strong. Remember you are normal and she has severe issues. Sometimes this stuff drives us to only believing that karma will smack these people sideways at some point and it must be awful being such awful people. I have no wise words really because I am still dealing with stalking myself. At this point I just think if you are stalked it is some sort of attestment to your being a nice person because it seems only nice people are stalked. I had a woman recently tell me that her ex husband was regularly coming to places she was slashing her tyres and more revolting things and I looked at her and she was just a really nice kind friendly warm strong beautiful woman. I talked to her about my own stalking and how it had driven me to a belief in God and a whiplash of smiling just so that my stalkers know that they will never have me nor will they ever smash my happiness no matter how much they try. All persons who are stalked are nice people - I am sure of it. Sending you strength.
Five types of stalker 1. rejected stalker - ex partner or estranged family member 2. Incompetent stalker, sense of entitlement to time etc of the desired person. 3. Intimacy stalker - deluded idea someone who doesn’t want to be with them is the love of their life 4. Predator stalker - power and control, use mutual friends to find out about the target 5. Resentful stalker - vendetta, settling a grievance. Can become violent.
#3 She has crossed Boundaries that I have never experienced anything else like this has intrigued all my devices, knew someone was engaging in my personal social media, such as used my facebook account for hiding from other's spouses, and Dating account this has deserved me with affects of Damn is she watching me now or recording me, will prosecute for there actions so maybe she will learn that her behivors have done? Thx Darren much help I will apply this to my toolbox!!! 💯🙏❤️
I attract stalkers for some reason ...... I am an introvert who tries to do the right thing and practices "live and let live." Surprisingly this enrages stalkers. Now I assume people are stalkers until proven otherwise. Very isolating. The new neighbors next door are stalking me because they are trying to take possession of our land through adverse possession. After ignoring her while trimming trees she says over to me, "we keep a close eye on, we're very interested in everything you are doing...." Amazing how these people target those who do no harm to them whatsoever. My stalkers seem to cut across multiple types and are hard to classify......
I hadn’t even realized I was dealing with a stalker until someone I know who worked probation & was familiar with the different types os stalkers heard what was going on & told me “You’ve got a resentful stalker on your hands. Make sure you keep quiet as this individual seeks to know you’re upset, but next time a false accusation comes up, tell whoever brings it to you you’re being stalked & it needs to stop.” I don’t wish to reveal too much other than this individual had an axe to grind, and had poor relationships with others in the organization. Ultimately they experienced karma by way of employment termination. All I can say is it takes time to get over feeling everything from unsafe to resentful about what’s taking place. It may take years for these feelings to subside, and they may never go away altogether, but they won’t be nearly as intense as when the stalker was attempting to bring you down.
It isn’t fair but the only way I could manage to get rid of an ex boyfriend stalker in the early 90s - who refused to accept the relationship was over and had been stalking me for roughly a year and was threatening suicide, making my friends and family feel sorry for him etc - was to change address, job and change universities unexpectedly all at once and only stay in contact with a couple of trusted friends. Had to do something similar again 20 years later - ex husband harassed me for 10 going on 11 years post separation- to escape had to give up custody of my kids to him before suddenly and unexpectedly changing my name and address . By not having residence of my kids any more he had no legal right to know my name or whereabouts and couldn’t harass me anymore. I ended up living near the kids school and kids and met them for contact in public places in the community. Had to keep my location and name and all secret. My children have honoured that fortunately. I do not have any faith in the legal system - as some stalker ex partners (usually fathers) can use the legal system to force contact and to make your life as difficult as possible. I believe it is very important not to reward the person by picking up the phone or giving them any sort of attention or response if you can help it. Even read messages or simply picking up the phone to tell them to go away can be rewarding for these individuals because you are giving them your attention and if you are giving them any sort of attention in their warped minds they think they may be in with a chance. Change your number and email address and keep it private. Block the person every which way. If possible remove yourself off social media. It is also extremely important to be careful of mutual friends. You may sadly have to forgo some mutual friends to protect yourself from reputational smearing and/or the stalker using the connection for information gathering purposes.
In the old days we married the aggressive stalker. I think they are attracted to a quiet and reserved person, who is normally very polite and demure. Also naive and with deep empathy. It is really sad. I am so sorry for this happening.
I didn't really know much about stalkers when I was a child but when I got older I realized I had a pretty serious stalker for almost a decade when I was growing up. Whenever I got home from school for years as soon as I walked into the house the phone would ring and if I answered there would only be breathing and if i didn't answer they would leave a voicemail that was just heavy breathing. They would also come up to my bedroom window at night and watch me sleep and sometimes they would knock or bang on the glass to try to wake me up in the middle of the night. I could see there was someone out there in the dark but I couldn't make out their features. Sometimes I would even talk to them, like saying "hello? is someone there? please go away." and they would just stand there and breath loudly. gross. Very frightening! For years I just thought I was dreaming because whenever I told my parents "theres a man outside my window who watches me sleep at night" they would just tell me I was having nightmares. But then when it continued up into my teens I began to realize there was an actual person out there and I was like "wtf? is this a pedophile? a murderer? who the is this guy?" I never did find out who it was. Eventually I moved out the state. I don't know if i would say it "haunts" me to this day exactly- I wasn't really that scared for most of it because I didn't really understand the danger - but its definitely something I think about every now and then when I see strangers in the dark.
This is the worst feeling ever. Knowing you’re not safe anywhere you go, including your own home because your being stalked. It’s incredibly scary. I’ve been stalked for years by one person in particular. He breaks into my car every so often just to let me know he can get to me anywhere, anytime and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I actually bought a very large St. Bernard dog and had the police K-9 unit train him to protect me against this guy. He’s broken into my home, watched me sleep in the middle of the night. He gets off on breaking into places that I’m at. He’s very dangerous but someday I’ll stop him.
Why don't you adjust your sleep schedule so you get most of your rest during the day. You can do that in about 2 weeks. Get prepared to meet him at night... preferably with a gun in the bed and when he finally appears....final solution time. It takes patience, but if he's bold enough to break into the home you probably won't have to wait long. Just make sure he's not breathing and THEN call the police.
You need to arm yourself with something other than that dog.Pepper stay at the least bc your stalker might be…. The dog would be no help against it,if so.
I'm going through stalking now. It started as soon as I tried to end the friendship. He has no desire to be in a relationship with me he just wants to control me. I don't think he's coped with rejection that easily. He manipulates every one around him. Including his partner and police and even my old acquaintances. He's trying to replace my life. It's like he wants to be me. He started drinking where I drank, then started to work at the same place as me. Even his banter reassembled mine. His mannerisms. He follows me when I go for a walk. It's caused me stress, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares. Time off work. Confidence issues. Trust issues. People question my sexuality. He has a partner as well. I made a mistake by humiliating him and publicly calling him a stalker. Now makes my life hell by turning everyone against me. Slandering me to other people. The list goes on. I'm isolated right now. I'm struggling to deal with what's going on. I already suffered with my mental health then this on top of it doesn't help one bit.
Man how bloody awful! Thank you for sharing. I am feeling better for all these personal stories. Because when I tell people the hell I have gone through with stalking they look dumbfounded like I am making it up but reading what all of you are saying I realise actually a lot of what I have been going through is run of the mill sicko stalking.
Try and take extra care of yourself take a multivitamin to keep strength up and document everything he does even if you take out your phone and film him in front of others and if they ask why tell them he is stalking you. Most people will tell them off if they continue to hang around you uninvited. Stay safe 🙏
Thankfully, the only social media I use is RU-vid. Years ago, I was stalked in person by individual that I didn't know too well...their antics progressed into; breaking into a vehicle I had, stealing my belongings, stealing mail by changing my mailing address to their P.O. Box, broke into my apartment and tried to commit suicide in front of me, etc. I felt forced to move farther away for my sanity. Deeply disturbing stuff to try to understand/cope with in ones life.
eBay was involved in stalking a couple that wrote bad reviews about them so sometimes corporations are involved in stalking. In the cancel culture that we live in, those who want to cancel you will gather in groups and engage in revenge stalking. They seek to "frighten and punish the victim."
This exactly! I've seen it in friend groups (or I should say ex-friend groups) also. One or a couple of people with gather a bunch of other friends and strangers online to make lies about you and post them. It's disgusting and cancel culture combined with social media make it was too easy for toxic and mentally ill people to destroy someone they don't like for revenge.
Yes that was a case of gang stalking and it is when corporate interests basically higher corrupt people and authority to carry out there whatever they want done
I have only recently been through this with my ex partner and I've never experienced anything like it. He was initially breaking into my garden, moving things around to play gaslightibg games. When he realised I had sussed it was happening, he continued but started leaving messages to let me know he'd been there. I put up security cameras but it only made it more entertaining for him. He found blind spots and tried to smash them down. He had specify created hiding spaces out the back of my garden, and had been climbing through all the neighbours gardens to get into mine. I called the police but they underestimated what was going on and charged out the back without listening to me first. This just made it worse, as he did get caught. The next day, grass was posted through my door. Previously, he had been using social media to post messages to me. And he admitted at the start of this relationship (it was a hoover) he would sometimes drive into my road in the years we were apart, but "wasn't stalking me". We were apart for 6 years, meaning he could have been doing this all that time. I didn't think he had been back, but my cat has now disappeared..... The pice can't arrest him because I couldn't get his face on camera because it was dark. But he was coming every night for weeks on end between midnight and 3 am. It isn't some to be underestimated. I felt continuously on edge and I still don't know if it's really the end but at some point, I will have to move. He was very angry. I had dumped him. He felt humiliated. But he had been having an affair...... The worst thing is wondering when it might start up again. But for now, I can at least sleep, but for weeks I couldn't. I just still can't believe this has all happened.
It’s not easy catching someone like that, and you can drive yourself nuts trying. The gaslighting aspect is very hard to deal with - it’s usually enough to cause upset but not enough to warrant calling the police.
@@franceslock1662 I have done exactly that! Everything done in the relationship and in the aftermath of me discarding him is written down and reported. I read its helpful for everybody to write down their full experience, just in case they ever try a hoover as it helps you to remember the reality of it, rather than your euphoric recall of the love bombing stages. Quite blind blowing when you do read it all back to yourself. But thank you for the advice. Looking through all the experiences everybody else has had, it's obviously something that happens more often than people realise, and can become especially dangerous and life threatening or at least life changing for people. It's just a shame the law isn't adept at dealing with it, not really, not in reality. And when you explain all the gaslighting elements of it all, you sound like you're the crazy one! But I have markers on my address so if I call them again about this, they will hopefully be better prepared. I urge anybody who is having similar experiences to do the same.
@@emotown1 it really isn't easy catching them in the act. But when it's repeatedly done every night, and it's escalating day by day, and you have a child in the house too, you can't take any risks. The gaslighting aspect is just the start of it, and I suspect he is responsible for at least 4 cats ending up dead or missing (2 of mine, 2 of a friend of his).... And that's how psychopathic killers start! But when somebody is a vessel of nothingness, you can't take risks. I was shocked by your tale too, as by everybody else's. Quite frightening how these situations escalate so quickly.
I left my wife & divorced because she was driving ,me crazy & I found out she was screwing some low life. 2 years after I left I noticed that she was doing regular drive byes past my house. Initially I was disturbed about it but then then I decided to ignore it. Another 18 months on and she is still doing it but less frequently. It no longer bothers me. I have a new life and she aint going to get any chance to intrude into it.
My father left his gf overnight. She came home to find all of his things gone without a word said to her. He even bragged to me about how he left in a flash and found it amusing. However, she never cried or chased after him. She just let things be. As far as I knew didn't call asking questions/needing closure and when seeing him in public would even maintain polite conversation and composure. The funny thing is that after my dad moved out and ghosted her, he would drive by her house with me in the car. He'd have this expression on his face as if he was just casually driving, but I was always perturbed by it because he got off the main road to drive through her neighborhood when there were multiple ways, we could have gotten to destination without doing that. These people are insane, unhinged and obsessed.
these stalkers are mentally and morbidly obsessed with everything i do in my life and somehow they can think for me apparantly. they keep saying that what i was taught i think is the truth and i never said that!! i belive in it from what i seen. i never once said what i believed was the truth. i hate when people try to assume what i think.
I wish someone had believed me all those years ago when my ex was stalking me. Fortunately, when I moved a series of terrible events occurred that resulted in injury & my car being put in the shop so I was out of work for about three weeks & had no car. The phone calls increased but he was otherwise gone & years later the calls stopped to. Thank God!
Still happening to me 3 years after I left. Police don’t take seriously at all. Everywhere I go he pops up online. Fake accounts etc. it’s never ending.
I think I was accidentally a rejected /incompetent stalker. I didn't even realise that I was seen that way, I was just going about my life, following the breadcrumb trail, and when I found out that that's what he was calling me - I was offended and angry, when i found put thrpugh others that was what they were saying about me, imagining the common resentful/dangerous/ predatory subtypes. However years later - I ended up in a shelter for domestic abuse and had therapy and training on how to spot and prevent domestic abuse - where as I'd firmly categorized my former ex as narcissus and exploitative- actually my behaviour reflectively was stalkerish. Terrible.
Why are their lots of people today that believe its normal, or justified to stalk and harass someone? These groups really feel like its the thing to do,what is going on to change reality for these people? Is the group so good at normalizing the behavior?
It's a living hell, it's been happening on all my personal information, cell phones, jobs, trying to move away, and on, this has been going on around 8 years now!! I've been through multiple cell phones phone plans, mail taken or held, cars tampered, repeated phone calls from numerous number, threats, subtle death threats, years on and off of this, sleepless nights, or just sleep while getting enough energy from repeated hell and discouragement to move on! Put of where I feel trapped! No personal privacy no one wants to come to visit! It's control over my life lies spread to ruin my life ECT...the worst thing is WHY!!
One tip is to eliminate all social media. If you chose to keep social media, lock it down so that you only have trusted friends, cannot be tagged, all setting are private (not public). NEVER post where you are in real time or do check-ins. Only post after you have left and preferably places that you will probably not go back to, so in the rare event your stalker goes get access to that post they will be stalking in an area you will not be frequenting.
My mother is a rejected stalker. After I cut contact with everyone I knew and moved across the country, she hunted me down. I was able to get a restraining order, but she still sends people to my house. I got security cameras and a gun.
I see there are pole on this thread who do not think you should stay away from your mom. They just don't understand. Ignore them strenuously. Protect yourself.
If you’re able to, install security cameras around your property like Ring, and Blackvue front and rear car cameras with apps that are easy to use. Don’t be predictable and take care when entering and leaving your property. All your windows should have key locks and external doors triple point locks and dead bolts. You can also have an alarm and can arm sections of the house when sleeping. It’s not over the top to have locks on internal doors too. I know some women get security grills on their windows. You can also get your window glass treated with a film that won’t break.
I have a guy who is low key stalking me. I have had to block him on all social media because he keeps finding new ways to talk to me. He comes to events he knows all be at and then introduces himself to my friends almost to show he is not afraid of the fact I have confronted him about following me. I don’t really know what to do about him/ can’t really be bothered getting involved anymore!
Document it as much as possible. Do not give him any oxygen as far as it's possible. That means do not initiate contact to tell him to stop, don't initiate contact in any way. If he leaves gifts don't acknowledge them in any way, don't return them, give him no response whatsoever. So don't initiate any contact and don't respond in anyway whatsoever. Don't confront him at all, ever. I recommend the book, "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. In it he explains the rationale for you and what you need to do, as well as the danger level. If you can, report it to the police so they have a record too, although I know a lot of the time they just don't care and won't/can't do anything anyway.
Please contact authority, if that hasn't worked well for you, pack up & go far far away & don't tell even your most trusted beloved people. Sometimes your closest connections could be allies to help them stalk you & perhaps they might not even know the depth of the situation. Like the doc said social media is a tool they use so stay away from it. As for your phone, tablet, laptop, smart watch etc turn off GPS & LOCATION service on it. Your wellbeing & life is very important so becareful.
This is correct. Even corporate figures are now STALKING (EX- employees) and EX-sellers. Some of them are concerned about whether or not WE have enough MONEY to retire ABROAD...or whether or not WE will remain MARRIED forevermore. Yes, their behavior is beyond CREEPY and it is beyond SCARY!!!
I tried to go to go the FBI because of the size, depth and extent. They wanted me to bring the evidence. There isn't a single person that will help me without a significant amount of money to be paid. The stalking prevents me from earning a living wage.
Stalkers as they may might usually migrate between different interests or intents, shifting targets. They are mood compromised. Generally narcissistic. Can't confuse them with those who are genuinely concerned about matters that generally concern conscientious people. We call that 'looking out for eachother'. Good video and content. When you detect being stalked the letterbox fills with a tapestry of clues. We might feel keen to go about out own investigation for curiosity. Strangely it seems some like to deliberated themselves with behavior that is bound to attract attention, from others. Mater of factly, we all comprise some sensation seeking behaviors. Some are hypervigilant about how others might perceive them. 😉
"Different interest or intents" this is true. I think generally speaking it's about power and control. "Wants to date" stalking to get attention. "Mad at being rejected" stalking to hurt them. I can definitely see that. It's just their preferred method of achieving whatever goal they have.
my stalking was delutional and formed out of obsession. im still obsessed but i realize its an obsession that needs to be put down like a dying dog. the problem is it lives inside me, its SEEMS impossible not to feel incomplete. emphasis on seems because i know its not. but im greatful i stalked a very understanding person who i agree gave me way to many chances. i think its due to an deep understanding of mental illness but despite mental illness i am aware it doesnt make you any less a predator or threat despite the amount of personal growth spiritual or physical you do. you just have to accept youve ended up down the right path, intention or not youve been led astray and you didnt take enough of all the clues. i dont know when there's room for improvement, i think i need to die to see the karma be resolved because the pain is anguish. but that's only if you can recognize it in yourself. its hard cus i dont believe in an afterlife necessarily but yet ive extremely spiritual since looking at my own monster. however if god will let you live you should take it and suffer and stay in your lane and understand youve just narrowed the width of your lane and possibly numbered your days with all the manifested stress and anxiety for allowing the monster to creep in and express itself through your actions. once that happens you need to identify as the monster and now dealing with it is not a simple path but its either that or psychopathy. i genuinely believe that. i say this cus, other criminal stalkers searching for some reason to resist their chaos may come to this video which is beyond brave. just know it doesnt end here. im actually here to lern about my counterpart, im specifically searching for the mindset of the female stalkers, i want to know now how a female stalkes cus i lived the life of how a male does it, at least what drove me wasnt malicious in intent but its terrifying how it evolves seemingly against the person you stand for. I wasnt a broken human until i had a break up, i have abandonment issues and ive never been taught how to cope, now i just live knowing theres a monster inside me that if i truly care i will kill myself if it feels like coming out. i hope thats not the case for me tho. to me feels like the peak of my BPD dissorder
I've been stalked for 7 years. Primarily online but they do their absolute best to get under my skin. Going as far as using or grooming or hiring others. I'm still not sure if it's my family or a pen pal or just a collective of very unwell people. Watching this video does very little to help me narrow in on the "type" of stalker.
Yes, I've been and still am being stalked by Resentful Stalker and he has gotten others to join in on this. He feels entitled due to his own behavior and yes, is the "victim". This has been going on for a long while.
Presently a victim of a resentful stalker. Its been months, and they wont let it go. Ive removed every avenue of contact can think of, but they keep finding new ways to reach out, trying to do things to upset me. I just want them to leave me alone.
They want you they can't let go. Nothing but a love obsession would go this far. Don't let em catch you off guard in a crime of passion that you're clueless about because they're surviving off pure delusion & one sided attachment 🤢
I, personally, have dealt with stalking for quite some time now, and not coming from a stranger but from a relative. Mainly via the internet than in person. Darren Magee's examination on the types of mental disorders which stalkers deal with; for my relative, I believe is suffering from a personality disorder (due to childhood trauma and parental abandonment). Does not excuse the actions to which I have suffered, all of which have been criminal. But the only thing I supposed one can do is just pray for their soul and some direction because they will never change unless the stalker themselves comes to the conclusion their brain is very unhealthy and they need to seek treatment ASAP to get better.
My stalker tried to reverse victim blame and call ME the crazy one. Its scary tbh. Ive never even once been diagnosed as clinically insane. Clinically insane is when you LIVE in a fantasy world and YOU are disconnected from reality and you cant get out of that mindset. SO NO. Im not insane. HE IS.
The stalkers I've encountered are when I was a caregiver for my mother and father. They were a married couple who were tenents that lived next door and we were owners. They figured out I would be inheriting the property so they stalked and harassed me trying to make me angry for normal noise they made in the middle of the night banging on my walls to kill insects. Nails in my tires, keyed up my car, watered her plants until there was water damage everywhere. Then when I confronted her about her bahavior she called the cops on me to claim harassment and that she was going to sue me! I showed the officer the videos of all her causes she felt there was no consequences for and it all backfired on her! I didnt tip my hand until she tried to spin it the 1st chance she got that I was the problem to try to take my property! Susan was so enraged that she got even worse to where she paid more attention to me then her own husband. Turning on her lights when I got home to let me know shes watching my every move. I had to sell the house with my sick and dying parents to a new house in a better neighborhood with better neighbors.
A former partner stalked me for over 4 years. Followed me on dates, tapped my phone, interrupted mail, he was relentless! I isolated, horrified to speak up out of shame and fear of not being believed.
I HAVE A MOTORCYCLIST WHO STALKS ME EVERYTIME I WALK OUTSIDE MY HOME. IDK OF HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL, MENTAL OR A COP. The police say " because the person doesn't say anything to me or haven't hurt me theres nothing they can do." Thats not right. Seeing a stalker everyday is alarming and annoying and not knowing what the stalker is thinking could bring fear to someone. Women/ men who are stalked on social media they wont get hurt or sometimes not communicated it doesn't mean a police officer should not do anything. My stalker is getting away with committing a crime.
HACKERS AND STALKERS ARE PSYCHOPATHS. THEY HAVE A DEMON IN THERE HEAD THAT IS TELLING THEM TO GO AFTER A CHILD OF GOD. The lord is far from the wicked.
I witnessed a crime in the year 2000 and I was punished for it. The people who were supposed to help resolve this crime wrote a negative report about me saying that I was a problem. So the person stalking me took money to do it and now every bit of my life is compromised. He has money and power it works for the government. I just realized day before yesterday that that's why I've been feeling so heart sick. I've been being stalked for almost 4 years now. Don't feel like I can go to the police. I have proof and I even have his phone number. It just makes me truly heart sick and I feel unsafe 😢
Absolutely stupendous, Thank you Darren for your help and getting the Information out there, Peace, love to you and everyone, Thank you universe 😀😍♾️🧿🥰👽👽🌌🛸✨️✨️😁😃💞
I was stalked by a fellow student when I was in college who was the ex partner of the person I was dating. They had broken up 2 months or so before we started dating. I think she would qualify as the predatory kind of stalker in that she just seemed to enjoy collecting information on me and lording it over me, relishing in the power to unravel my already frayed mental health. She gave me a nickname that implied that I was crazy. She stopped stalking me as soon as my relationship with her ex ended. She went on to become a marriage and family therapist.
That is one hell of an experience. I was in a hotel lobby in Stuart Florida in the early 1970s. This hotel had a nightclub downstairs. A recently divorced woman was in that nightclub with her boyfriend. Also her ex-husband had stalked her there from far away. The woman got up and walked across the lobby and into the ladies restroom. Her dear ex followed her through the door and shot her dead. He walked across the lobby and into the nightclub. Somebody got shot in there presumably the boyfriend. After that he shot himself through the side of the head. I watched them carry him out of there on a stretcher. That boyfriend girlfriend ex-wife ex-husband kind of stuff has led to a great many problems and crimes and murders.
@@RachelleFerrier-qv6ie I was involved in another situation in which 104 people were murdered and about 270 were injured. Many of the injured were horribly disfigured and dismembered and profoundly disabled for life.
So my stalker was seeking a romantic relationship with me. It all started in 9th grade for me. But his fascination for me probably started in kindergarten. I was just minding my business going from class to class. He was in two of my classes but he didn’t seem to notice me. I noticed him because I thought he seemed familiar and kind of cute but I put out of mind. Then one day he saw me without my glasses. He said to his friend. “It’s her!” Then he proceeded to tell me that we had met in kindergarten. I agreed that I thought so too. After that he made some crude attempts to get my attention. Mostly he would show up in the same places as me. Places he wasn’t supposed to be at like near the girls gym. I thought if I ignored him he would give up and stop bothering me but unbeknownst to me, he was following me way more than I had realized. Those time that he “showed up” trying to say hello were nothing he was following me all the time everyday from class to class. He knew my route to classes that we didn’t even share. He followed me to the bus area. One time he sat next to me on the bus. I thought it was odd because why did he sit next to me of all people. I was certain there were other spots open. He said hi to me. I don’t remember if I said hi back but then he just stared at me the whole 15min to my stop. I felt so uncomfortable. I thought about asking why he was staring at me. Then we came to my stop and I grit my teeth because I had to tell him to move. He moved on his own and I was relieved. I thought he was going to sit back down but instead he walked behind me all the way to the driveway of my house and then turned around and left. The only reason I knew is because my brother saw him and asked me who he was. I think he developed an obsession with dating the cute girl from kindergarten. I wasn’t necessarily me in the present moment. It was the girl he met back then. He was obsessed with my face. My physical attributes but he cared nothing about my feelings. He was only obsessed with my looks. If he found a doppelgänger that looked just like me he would probably be obsessed with her too.
What if the stalker didnt realise what they where doing, people with mental health disorders such as bpd depression, gad, ocd etc. A non violent stalker who was just very unwell and not of sound mind who knew they needed help and even told doctors etc that they need to be in a hospital to be treated but just got brushed off and just put on more medication. A stalker can be going through hell as well. Its terrible for both sides. But a rational person of sound mind is a whole different ball game.
All come down to envy, WANTING SOMETHING THEY don’t HAVE, they either want to take ur peace, they want power, control, they want something from their victim, THEIR SELFISH,
I would also like to suggest as a way to avoid such situations in the workplace that if a name tag or plate is needed, that it be the worker’s first name only. It’s rather difficult to trace everything from social media to phone number and address without a last name. I suspect that’s how my stalker got my name to file reports with absolutely false accusations as I don’t generally introduce myself by my full name, and a simple “Hi! My (first) name is…” should suffice in the office.
Definitely! I wasn’t stalked but when I was a teenager a grown man got my name and number off a volunteer sign in sheet because it was blue tacked to the wall. 🤢 we ended up “dating” 🤢
I left domestic violence and pressed charges on him and me and my children then had multiple places we went to for safety broken into amd even a battered woman shelter broken into with them screaming my name out of fear the staff hid my car and then gave us s police escort out of state...Yet somehow that delivered us to tuem they were on yhe Greyhound bus able to talk toe personally asking about money strangers ( one from a night club i attended 2 years before) i dudnt recognize hom st first. It was relentless and across multiple States and Jurisdictions and the police detective was helping him to avoid arrest crazy ss that sounds..I had witnesses tell me police came to talk to him in person lied to me saying they knew he was in wrat Virginia so again between proxy stalkers and the flying monkeys helping him and willing to commit crimes to try to scare me and my kids. Then the Cyberstalking started and felony wiretapping and evasdropping on us and doing everything possible to make sure we knew we were being watched. Unbelievable events and actions never accountably for any of them .I no longer trust law enforcement at all...or thier agency's..Sad tragedy for me and my family.. Decades later 💔 its still gives me chills...PTSD.
Had a person come up from behind me and tried to throw me down a flight of stairs I called the police there was no witnesses to validate my story they won't file a report based on hear say. Days later he's at my home digging through my trash. I see him visit my job and I caught him following me to my friends house. Police says these individual occurrences don't constitute criminal behavior. I don't know what to do. Even as a martially literate power lifter with hundreds of hours of boxing experience I can't hurt him because I'd be charged with assault.
The person that marketed me getting stalked used revenge porn, and they persistently go through my history using my conscience to convince others its justified, constantly immaturely trolling, feeling threatened over my happiness or when I try to report the stalking, and then the people who enable use any misogynistic example to convince others that the stalking/abuse is moral/"teaching them a lesson" ironically they're the ones who commit a crime out of their sadistic needs, bc they can't be happy unless they compare my unhappiness to theirs.
Police, especially in the UK are beyond useless, more criminal. I was assured that my stalker of 6 yrs wasn't violent. Funny, because I have him on video threatening me and my pets and him assaulting me. I have made sure never to react, so as never to give him something he can twist into something else. The police tell me only there is nothing they can do, it's a neighbour dispute. Despite him showing up at my work , events and places that I usually go far away from my home, all evidence recorded on video.
This is triggering Darren.our culture loves the drama saying you are a "fine catch why he cant help himself or you crazy for not loving the attention ".trust yu gut.
The "Trust your gut" mantra can never be said enough! Even at 49 I'm having to remind myself of this again to save me from myself from dealing with someone I should not. (Ironically the instinctive reflex comes from the hind/ancient-brain, not the advanced brain. Yet in FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT it's better than overthinking it and sticking with something for too long that you shouldn't)
I have just watched the video and liked it, but I felt related to many things that were said, and not only the victim suffers, the "stalker" is in real pain from being rejected and never achieving or having what they want, thing is, it's painful, and I still can't get over someone, but it's like a pattern, damn, can't stop thinking about her.......
When I was in my mid 20's I was stalked by a man 30 years older than me who was living in the same homeless hostel as me. He was thrown out when he got into my room and cut up all my clothes while I was out at a party. He continued to come round to the hostel every time he'd been drinking and hammer on the door shouting threats and abuse. I left the hostel and got away from.him.
i cancelled cable because i love youtube--far more interesting. the comments are the best part. im terrified and had to stop reading the comments after a bit. this shit isn't going to go away. i thought a restraining order would fix it. at least i was emotionally free that day. how nice it was to be free. i had forgotten
Terrifying!monitoring telephone, having camera in my suite. Often I am frightened to go out. He has not speaker to me for 40 years - silent treatment, setting others up against me.
It’s so hard because this person met me online in World of Warcraft. Managed to use my first and last name to get the voter registry and get my address and phone number. Now they’re making multiple Facebook accounts and bombarding the local small business I work for with gruesome pictures and threats. Reporting and blocking for a year so far and it’s not slowing down. The lack of someone human on Facebook to tell, half my reports don’t even get accepted cuz the accounts they make are so new. I’m at a complete loss! I haven’t engaged either and it’s still happening so frequently!
I have set all my profiles to private and the ONLY way they have to get to me is my Job's social media account. I feel terrible because so many people work here and are indirectly affected by it. We can't just close the account or change a business name. I feel so bad and weirdly responsible for this happening..
Hello everyone. I live on the 3rd floor of some apartments. All 3 floors are Narcissistic people, when I come out my door to go to the store. One or Two people be waiting when I come back.
I feel isolated, controlled, living with perpanent fear, have no próvacy,while he enjoys life.he ghosted me for years ,I have no life, friends, it is a living hell my life,
