Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones - Movie Review 

I don't like my critics. They're coarse, rough, irritating and they get everywhere!

Ewan McGregor is by far the best part of the prequels.

The sound effect for the seismic charges is just so damn satisfying.

17:08 Not gonna lie, Natalie Portman in that outfit was 11 year old me's first celebrity crush.

The George Lucas impression was the best thing ever.😂

"Jar Jar is the cause of the Downfall of the Jedi." Of course he is. He's a Sith Lord.

To be fair, Hayden christianson perfectly encapsulated an angsty teen who’s been taught to suppress emotion.

“I sense dark unrest in this boy”

I don't like sand...

I blame the script for Anakin's character. Poor Hayden was just in the wrong place wrong time.

Gotta love how Ewan McGregor is able to act when talking to entirely CGI characters, like Anakin

The funny thing about Obi-Wan saying "I hate it, when he does that" is the fact that moments earlier he threw himself through a window from a 6 miles tall building.

"Someone really needs to call the production team of this show and tell them to replace that dummy with CGI." I'm dead!

Honestly, I thought this one was WORSE than Episode 1. At least in Episode 1 we had Darth Maul...what did this movie have??

The best thing in these prequels is Ewan McGregor, he's great. He deserved so much better.

I love how obiwan says he hates when Anakin jumps from cars when he JUMPED OUT A WINDOW TO CATCH A DROID

I think Hayden's real talent is acting with his face. When he needs to not say anything and just visualize what emotion he's feeling, he does really well. Not so much when he has to complain about sand.

3 is still the best prequel.

Hahaha he sent Anakin on the most romantic mission ever lol Padmé changes her clothes in every scene, getting increasingly more revealing as the film goes on until she looks basically like an exotic dancer. 😂 You said, "She's BEGGING for it from Anakin and is like "No, I can't do it, because I'm a Senator..." lol that's hilarious. 🤣

The “I HATE THEM!” cracks me up every time! 😂🤣😂

That footage of George Lucas discovering Hayden Christensen was amazing! I was in pieces....so funny!😂

Anakin should've been a more silent, stoic hero. It seems Hayden could do more acting with his eyes, expressions and physicality rather than actual lines.

Anakin/Vader is conceptually one of my favorite characters ever written. The emotional depth just within the major beats of his storyline is genius, he is a character so at odds with himself that he lives within a prison of his own making. This is fleshed out incredibly in expanded universe content as well, through his genocide of the Jedi and all the various crazy fucking things Palpatine puts him through. He is just such a fucking amazing character, and there's something so inherently human about his struggle against himself, his struggle against fear. He's a character that makes us ask ourselves what we truly believe is right and wrong, and that's a rare sort of character you don't come across often. That being said, the Anakin half of the Anakin/Vader story is hands down the worst part of this characters story. I don't even blame Hayden, because in revenge of the Sith when he got some actually halfway decent scenes, he actually delivered imo. It's the writing that truly makes so many parts of Anakin's story crumble, it's the way George Lucas went about presenting this character. From the half baked love story, to his tantrums that were just the most blatant and obvious ways to show his internal conflict, it all just kinda sucks. The only saving grace for Anakin as a character is revenge of the Sith, which is actually my favorite star wars movie, with empire strikes back at close second. Lucas actually created a compelling Anakin in revenge of the Sith, not consistently, but he at least feels like a semi realized character in episode 3. Would this movie have been waaayyy better if Lucas had taken the time to craft a more well thought out journey for Anakin to reach the breaking point that he reaches? Yes, 100% yes, but at least he didn't shy away from trying to create a real tragedy in episode 3, something horrific enough to turn a person into a monster. Other than that, Anakin is mostly wasted potential, and Hayden flounders his way through it at least somewhat commendably at times. Just wish we could get something as badass as we had hoped

Bruh, watching this just made me realize how this movie could’ve been good. Dooku should’ve planned Shmis death then revealed it to anakin and they would then have an actual good dual where anakin would get defeated despite his anger

"It's so dense, every image has so many things going on."

I like Count Dooku, but I know a way that they could have improved his character. They should have had him in The Phantom Menace as a Jedi, that way the audience would have known him and be impacted by the fact that he turned to the dark side. They could have had him on the Jedi Council and maybe have a scene with him, Qui Gon, and Obi-Wan, and have him present at Qui Gon's funeral, feeling anger and sadness over the fact that his former padawan died, foreshadowing his turn. They also could have had him at the beginning of Attack of the Clones during the scene where the Jedi Council are talking with Palpatine, mostly to make sense of him getting rid of Kamino in the database. It could have been a good twist and I think people would have even been shocked by it. I still like what we got of Dooku, but just including him in The Phantom Menace could have improved his character.

I AM GENUINELY TRYING TO NOT CRACK OUT LOUD AND WAKE UP EVERYBODY IN THE HOUSE AT 3h IN THE MORNING Man, seriously this is too funny. Thank you

Chris, you didn't understand. When we meet Count Dooku, he is sitting around, talking He's a FORMER JEDI of COURSE he will be sitting around talking ;) lol

Omg i was crying at the Goosebumps sketch xD

That’s insane I had no idea the goosebumps kid was anakin. Woah

Whoever was doing GL's voice was absolutely brilliant

That scene with Obi chasing after Jango was by far the best part of the movie. I remember sitting in the theater and loving the way that it goes from completely silent to that seismic explosion. I ate that shit up as a 9 year old.

"Anakin's Creeper Love." That's a great name for an indie band.

"Someone needs to call the production team and tell them to change that dummy to CGI"

15:25 So It Is true... Darth Jar Jar

I’m here in 2020, who else. ✋

i actually think hayden could be a good actor but nobody could have made that terrible dialogue passable.

I really wanted a scene of Anakin just crying and screaming and hating himself as he slaughtered every last tusken raider. Imagine witnessing that scene with John Williams score in the background. With heavy, menacing, truly intense music masked over Anakin bawling his eyes out killing all the tusken children. You faintly hear Darth Vader's breathing in the background, going in and out as Anakin kills more raiders. Could have been fucking incredible.. Oh well.

17:45 I'm sure someone has already corrected you on this one, but if you watch the scene where Jango's head flies away in slow motion you can actually see a head plop out of the helmet. So there's one plot hole of 1,000 actually fixed.

I recently rewatched this and discovered something interesting--if you fast-forward through all the scenes of Ani and Padme's "romance," it's not that bad. There are still flaws, but Obi Wan's journey to find the clone army is pretty cool.

You could replace Anakin's lines with Tommy Wiesu's lines in the room

Well honestly I think the "Jedi can't love thing" is alright, think about it; they are guardians, peacekeepers, soldiers even. If they have a lover, or children; the sith can use that against them easily, which in turn can turn the jedi into sith.

I enjoyed the Yoda lightsaber duel. I used to always wonder how Yoda would fight in a saber battle. Watching him show more agility than ANYONE ELSE,EVEN MAUL, then have to pick that cane up and walk like an old man again was the highlight of AOTC for me.

My fav line of this movie... "I don't like sand"

"Replace that dummy with CGI" XD I love it.

The CGI pear...

3:05 - Holy. Crap... who is doing this Lucas impression!? It's spot-on.

I was a prequel defender for the longest time. I rewatched them recently and... yeah i certainly understand the criticism now lol. Revenge of the sith is still absolutely better than the other two

George said Jedi are allowed to have casual sex.

Actually, you see the shadow of Jango's head coming out of the helmet. I must admit though it's one of those 'blink and you'll miss it' moments

I just rewatched Attack of the Clones today. A lot of it doesn't work, but for whatever reason, it is still a great watch. The Blade Runner-esque neon-infused chase scene in the seedy underbelly of Coruscant really works. The romance between Anakin and Padme does not work, but Obi Wan's intergalactic detective mission does. I do like the separatist subplot of the Clone Wars, but it remains totally underdeveloped in the film. The final act is clunky, and a bit of a let down. The lightsaber duel at the end lacks emotion. Nevertheless, the film still has a number of really intriguing ideas that hold it together. I much prefer it to the Disney trilogy, which I have pretty much forgotten at this point.

Darth Vader: I am your father! Luke: No that's not true! That's impossible! You got your ass kicked by a dummy! Darth Vader: Wait what?!

I haven't read all of the comment, so someone may have already mentioned this. When Jango gets killed, you can see the shadow of his head leaving the helmet. So no, his head was not still in the helmet.

Alternative “First Kiss” dialogue: Anikan: *Chuckles* Gods know, if there’s one thing I know about it’s sand...” Padame: *chuckles* “Yeah, I guess you would... How’s your mother? Have you... Seen her? Or spoken to her, since you began your training?” Anakin: *hangs his head and sighs* ... No... I haven’t. Not a word. The council says that it would distract me from my real goal. Sometimes I wonder what that is...” *They stand in silence for a minute, before Anakin chuckles again and speaks with a smile* Anakin: “You know, when I left my mother, she couldn’t stop talking. Seemed like she went on for DAYS.” Padame: *smiles* I bet she had a lot to tell you. Anakin: *rolls his eyes* Oh yes. Everything from “I love you so much” to *wags his finger* “now make sure to drink plenty every day, even if you don’t feel thirsty!” *They both laugh for a few seconds* Anakin: *Slowly stops laughing* But you know what the last thing she said to me was? In our house anyway?” Padame: *Still with a grin of mirth on her face* What? “You had better come back with grand babies Anakin!” Anakin: *Bursts our laughing for a second* Uh, close actually. She said “you find a good woman Anakin. Settle down, build a family like I never did. Find the best woman you can and marry her right away!” *They both chuckle again, but in a way that is less genuine and clearer meant to deflect tension* ... Gods, can you imagine saying that to a ten year old? ... But you know what? I did just that.” Padame: *Her breath catches in her throat* Oh? *She asks, trying and failing to sound casual as Anakin moves closer* Anakin: *Gazing into her eyes* I found the bravest, strongest, most beautiful woman in the galaxy. I crossed the stars with her, fought beside her to retake her throne. And now I stand with her in paradise, yet I can’t see anything... beyond her eyes.” Padame: *her breath quickens as she attempts to deflect even as she leans closer* Won’t your mother be proud?” *she asks with a faint smile as she draws ever closer* But... Aren’t Jedi forbidden to love?” Anakin: *Smiles roguishly as he caresses her cheek and leans in, bare inches from her lips* “Does it look like I care?” They smile and close the distance, kissing hesitantly at first, but then embracing both each other and their passions as the music swells and the camera pans away from them and over the falls and setting sun of Naboo.

“He seems to be perfectly encapsulating the angst of being a child” 😂

i really love watching the prequels when i was a youngling.

lmao sound exactly like Lucas.

I literally cried during that George Lucas scene

George Lucas finding anakin was hilarious

Chris about Jango’s head falling out of the helmet I never noticed this before, but on the New Rockstars breakdown video for this movie, they point out that when mace cuts off his head, you see two shadows, one for the helmet and one for the head.

They should have focused more on anakin/obi wan, instead of focuing so much on padme/anakin. It would have been so cool if we would have seen them train together.

Chris I don't think jedis are species....its more of an occupation bruh

There were never any _Star Wars_ prequels. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

All I’m gonna say is that the clone wars cartoon series fixes most of this stuff imo.

Chris can do a really good Haden Christian impression. Sorry if I spelt Haden's name wrong.

I don’t like Attack Of The Clones...it’s coarse and rough and irritating, and the sloppy dialogue is everywhere

The pursuit of Jango by Obi Wan makes up for all of the film’s shortcomings. Jango’s head does fall out of the helmet after Mace cuts it off. Look carefully, you’ll see a shadow of it

I absolutely loved this movie when i was a little kid

This would be one of most easily forgettable movies ever if it wasn't Star Wars

I actually like Jango fett. he was a cool character.

You’re just disrespecting the grading system. Either give this a D+ or give Phantom Menace a C End Rant

*The George Lucas skit was gold, I died* 😭😂

Phantom Menace may have been a snooze-fest, but there were redeeming elements in there and the filmmakers still tried as hard as they could. Sure the wait makes it seem 1000x worse, but in actuality it was harmless as a movie on its own. Attack of the Clones actually does go as far as to insult the intelligence of the viewer and seemingly even goes out of its way to contradict the entire mythology of the original movies. It sticks a bunch of recognizable brand/franchise images on-screen to get an audience to come and sit through a feature-length exhibit of some (really dated by now) effects that Lucas thought was the best thing since sliced bread. I've only ever considered it better than Episode I for it's superficial value. Episode II is still the only prequel that I reckon legitimately deserves the hate.

Hayden Christensen is not to blame at all for StarWars. He's a great actor, it's George's writing. He's to blame. A great director, he just needed a little direction for himself too.

4:25 - I love George Lucas' list when he's writing down "Goosebumps kid." It also includes "rabbit-eared Bill Cosby creature" LMFAO 😂 I'm guessing that's Jar Jar Binks

Hayden has proven to be a good actor since Ep 2. It was most definitely the script. I'd even argue that Anakin's awkward line delivery is due to Hayden being like "wtf, how the hell does this dialogue make sense?!"

I came here for Plinkett quotes in the comments, I was not disappointed.

"'I truly, deeply love you' because that's what people say to people they're in love with." It became a running joke in my family to try to deliver that "truly, deeply" line with a straight face while gazing into the other's eyes. Difficult, to say the least.

Don't be surprised because I'm warning you, I would give Attack Of The Clones a 9/10

Jango fet’s head departed from his helmet you can tell this because there’s two shadows instead of one when his head get cut off

I don't see what's the problem with Count Dooku. I actually like the character and I think his rule was cool and interesting, after all he was an Jedi

Watch Shattered Glass, Christensen was very good in that movie.

I think what Windu means when says he was “Once a Jedi and that wouldn’t be in his character to do something like that” is that he knows Dooku enough from when he was a Jedi to know he wouldn’t do something like that.

My fav part is when the bad guy gives the assassin the worms and says: "be careful, they are very poisonous!". Like was he worried she was gonna eat them?

The George Lucas on the couch skit was great 😂😂😂

Personally, if you take away some of the writing, Hayden is actually a pretty good actor, later in his career. His emotional range is pretty good, and when he's NOT subject to the script, he can be pretty intimidating. Im noting Nostalgia Critic's review

This film was so awful that I went into labour during it to get out of the theater. My husband is such a die hard fan that it was literally the only way I was going to get out of it.

"I sense dark unrest on this boy..." I kinda love this Gorge Lupus impression.

The deleted scenes of Anakin and Padme from Attack Of The Clones were actually better than the actual scenes from the movie. I don't understand why George Lucas removed those scenes.

Just because you can watch this as a Star Wars movie doesn't mean it deserves a C, which is like 6/10. I'd give this film a 3/10.

I sure miss the time the prequels were universally and justifiably hated.

After the prequels were released "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

So many cringe worthy moments in this movie

The "rare footage" of George Lucas discovering Hayden Christensen is hilarious.

I actually didn’t know the sand meme came from this movie until I watched it. 3/10.

Anikin says he killed a tribe of people including women and children. Padmae says "oh my he's hot and extremely damaged." Theres no red flags going off for her about this relationship?

it's weird that Jedi can't love, so they can't procreate, and yet the force is highly inherited, like the Anakin-Luke-Kylo lineage

Chris Stuckmann for President 2020! Get Stuckmanized!

I remember as a kid trying to explain to my skeptical parents how Anakin perfectly landed on that speeder. It was the force, not terrible writing. Right?

It’s not that bad. The dialogue and acting is mediocre for sure. The story is actually very interesting.