STEP 1 Results: Finding Out I FAILED + Why I'm Ok With It 

It takes a lot of courage to make this video and I’m so proud of you for doing this and keeping it real!

I scored 195 on STEP1 and 209 on STEP2. I think you are one of the bravest people I have ever seen. I think whichever direction you take will be fulfilling.

Mad respect for being so open about such a hard topic, thank you for putting this up. I failed Step 1 too, got my score last month. I really hope to get everything back on track soon. Hope you figure it out too!

I'm a 4th year DO student that took leave during third year due to health reasons, and luckily just passed my Level 2. I agree that many in medicine don't share their stories of failure or struggle. I appreciate your bravery in sharing your story.

Thank you so much for having the courage and bravery to share this. You are definitely not alone.

Hi Maddie, I've returned to your video twice now as I await my score report for Step 1. My practice tests were not great either. I just came here to say that your openness and honesty is so appreciated. I endured a similar struggle as I prepared for this exam and share the same feelings of guilt, frustration, and embarrassment that you (and others in the comments section) mention. I just want you to know that I'm so incredibly grateful that you made this video. I can see it took a lot of courage, and your words have such an impact on others who are going through a similar process. I've realized during this time that I've allowed so much of myself to be wrapped up in test scores and excelling in school that I've lost sight of all the other parts of life that matter so much. Taking this time to pause and be present in the moment is so important. Failing is so hard. But this will be a time of tremendous growth for you, whether you forge ahead with medicine or not. I will chime in with others that I certainly hope you do decide to stick with it - this is not the end of the road for you by any means. But considering what will make YOU happiest is so important. I can't wait to watch the next steps of your journey. I'm here right along with you. 💕

Your brutal honesty is truly inspiring!! Life is shaped not by what happens to you but by how you react what happens to you and I just know from your ability to be headstrong and calm through all this that you'll be successful in whatever you end up pursuing.

You need a break ! You need to take it easy on yourself, so WHAT if you failed ? Never let a test , never , to interfere with your dreams ! Trust me , I’m a doctor and every single day I am lost please don’t quit , please don’t give up, Failure is growth ; what about Edison , how many times did he fail to create the light bulb ? You have made it this far , I wholeheartedly believe with a well deserved break to charge the batteries , and stress-tackling strategies , you’ll be right on track ! It’s completely normal to face a burnout , but what’s not normal as you said is when people genuinely post about it. Thank you ❤️

Your video & honesty is a huge help to anyone struggling. You’re amazing. Thank you. ❤

That’s so true, people in the medical field never really talk about their failures and it is a disservice to others going through the same thing!

I just wanted to say that thank you for posting this. I recently took step (and thankfully passed) however I sent this video to a few friends that did not do well and I wanted to share your story with them and to encourage them. YOU GOT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys, I am a pre-med and I have been watching a lot of your videos. I found them to be very helpful. For the past months, I figured that you both didn’t post any video because of Step 1 preparation. Sorry to hear the news about Maddie’s result. However, I hope you guys are staying strong and best wishes in your future endeavors. 💪💪

This is real! I love it!! There are lots of 'How I scored ~ ' kinds of stuff on RU-vid. I know it's helpful for exam preparation, but not for our mental health. I bet you're living life to the fullest.

Everyone fails in medicine it is a very normal feeling, but you should definitely not give up now!! You have still the same goal, just keep it in your eyesight and keep going!!!

I agree no one talks about failures. Medicine is a big ego show and its very relieving to watch this video. You will be fine! Keep your head up and do what your heart tells you.

Thank you for posting this!! I needed this today! It's refreshing to see a fellow medical student being open about failure. I'm a couple days away from my level 1 and completely understand what you mean by this training being so dark.

Congrats! You are still a winner in my book. Life is so unpredictable. A very short journey but I know you can figure this out. Everything happens for a reason. Happiness is priceless. Therefore, looking back at the situation you gave 100% and knowing you gave it your all. Now, you can move forward and keep your head up and look forward to what life has to offer in your next chapter. Stay strong! keep loving yourself bc only you know what's best for you... Take care

I'm so anxious waiting for my score to come back. My thoughts are right there with you. Kudos for sharing your story!

Hi Maddie, this was the first time I saw your video and I think it is very brave of you to point out the failures that can happen to anyone on this journey. I feel that often people seems to be ashamed of their failures and hide their failures. But, talking about the failure and understanding it is a step to make improvement and turn the failure into a success. I don’t know your entire situation and I don’t claim to know you but I am a med student myself and I have experienced going through the first 2 years of med-school and it was not easy at all to pass all those terms. I know so many people who failed out of med-school and couldn’t pass the first 2 years, and many of them, I believe they wish they can be in your position right now and have the opportunity to prepare for STEP-1. Therefore, I hope you won’t mind that I will make the suggestion to you and have you reevaluate your experience in this journey and recognize the knowledge and the opportunity that you have acquired from this journey. I want to believe the knowledge that you have acquired thus far is very valuable and the opportunity presenting to you right now and in the future is worthwhile for a lifetime. I believe more lives can be saved and less suffering will happen if you become a doctor one day. In the next couple of days, I am about to go into dedicated STEP-1 prep for 10-11 weeks. If you want to team up and give STEP prep another go or keep yourself involved with content study, you are welcome to join me. But, however you decide, the struggles that you have encountered shows you are worthy to be in this journey, and because so many people does not even have the opportunity to experience them. -Jan

im so proud of you. I have no doubt that you will make a great clinician despite your scores

You are strong and brave to share and be open talk about it. The wound is fresh but you are able to do it. Maddie, stay strong.. I'll be your cheerleader and will definitely tag along your journey... You're not alone, I promise!

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s truly a deservice as you say that not many people in the medical field speak about failures as there is always the expectation that one as an aspiring physician should be strong mentally and physically. I feel like this expectation is extremely damaging to anyone. I just finished my premed classes and have been holding back from taking the MCAT because I am still contemplating on whether medicine is really the career for me. I honestly just don’t want to make a premature decision that will consequently cause me to get into debt if I decide that half way through medical school I no longer want to pursue medicine as a career. I guess that for me only time and experience will tell if I should pursue medicine or not. Nevertheless, thank you again for sharing this story because it truly captures the reality of life along such an arduous journey.

I admire that you are still living life while prepping. I also failed and am retaking. Good for you for making this video!

Thank you so much for this I’m feeling this so much rn as I contemplate postponing step

Short and sweet. Brilliant. No beating around the bush

Thanks for sharing.I'm also failed step 1 before 3 years .I'm immigrants doctor from Iraq .I'm working on my weakness and I will never forgive.I think now you need rest and consultations to help you to pass this tough time don't take decision now.Good luck

I graduated with an athletic training degree this spring. I took my BOC (certification exam) in April and was the only one in my cohort to not pass. My program has had a 100% pass rate for 6 of the last 7 years so there was so much pressure. I chose not to retake it and am going thru grad school with a new career path in mind which in turn makes me feel as tho my bachelors is pointless since I technically can’t work in the field not being certified so this video coming up on my recommended was so much needed thank you for your vulnerability

I hope I can pass USMLE I Don't haves a job,I am 36 years old all my dreams related to USMLE,if I can choose between my life and USMLE I would choose USMLE

Whether we are failing or passing or even acing everything, we all go through these feelings. Thank you so much for sharing and all the best on your next move

Maddie I believe in you . Everything will be ok. You are young and strong and have a lot of time to become best doctor ) wish you luck!!! With respect from Russia

It’s okay if you don’t want what you think you wanted. Its always harder to leave midway on a journey to the destination, it’s takes immense courage and bravery to set something else midway and I applaud your ability of authenticity.

First of all, I think you should pat yourself on the back for having the guts just to take what is without a doubt one of (if not THE MOST) difficult standardized exams in the USA. A lot of people don’t have the fortitude to even ATTEMPT medical school, let alone the USMLE Step 1. I mean seriously, #girlboss. On a more serious note, I can’t imagine how hard/difficult/stressful all of this has been, but I wanted to say THANK YOU for putting this video together. It can’t be easy to put yourself out there and talk about this, but many people truly appreciate it. As a society in general (but ESPECIALLY in the medical community), we need to NORMALIZE failure. It happens and it’s a part of life. It has no bearing on your intelligence, capabilities, and worth as a person and I think a lot of people forget that - more-so when they’re the ones doing the failing. You have enough sense to realize what’s truly important: taking care of yourself, your mental health, and doing what truly makes you happy/fulfilled. The world needs more people like you. You’re gonna be just fine, and whether or not you decide to continue to pursue a career medicine, there are still so many opportunities out there for you! Best of luck with everything!

I think you have taken the nest decision right now to pause and concentrate on ur mental and physical health. Everbody fails eventhough they are not open like u. U are a brave women. Its ok that u havent figured it out what u really want to do. Just go with the flow. Dont pressure ur self much. Just as u saying “ u are not alone” Good luck dear

really strong enough to telll this story .... hats off

You are a smart young lady and it is very mature and wise to put yourself first. We only have one life and why spend so many years doing something that isn’t making you happy. Congratulations on realizing on time and not when you are old and had a miserable life .

i neeed to hear this so much. i just got my results today and failed, while my huusband passed. feel like ive let him and myself down. but am trying to walk passed it and try again

Hey girl! So I did M1 and M2 but quit med school before even taking Step 1 because I just knew it wasn't for me. Fast forward a year later, and I"m happier than ever. You definitely do NOT need to make a physician's salary to live (and I definitely used to think I had to), and on top of that, what I've realized is that nobody really cares at all if you're a physician, what people care most about is how you treat others.

Thank you so much for sharing this.

Thank you for posting this

Thanks for sharing. You are so brave!

I know this video is a year old but I would like to say this to the youtuber and to anyone who sees this who is in medical school,doctor,nurse etc. That can relate to her but thank you so much for not sacrificing what makes you a human being Empathy,Mental heath,Spiritual heath,Genuine care and concern for others,communication and checking and reaching out to the ones who need help the most who are afraid to be a burden to others most people will give up all of that for success,money,fame,and fake friends who would trade you like a pokemon card for their happiness guys seriously dont sacrifice what makes you a human being

Hi, I admire your courage, but let me tell you something. I am a retired pulmonary specialist and when I was a student I had so many failures, I am sure that more than one thought that I would never would finish school. But now, I can tell you that the best student is not always the best physician. I know a lot of good students but terrible physicians. I was a terrible student and in my country I used to be one of the best in my area as a physician. So just clear your mind and keep on. Do not feel bad. You can succeed in your life.

Maddie , Take a year off ! ,regroup , refresh yourself ....if my daughter (same as your situation now) could do it in 2020 .so can you ! don't look back , looking forward.

A very brave video. Hang in there!

You will get through this and be an amazing physician. Feel free to find me on Twitter and reach out if you need others to talk to, more than 10% of my med school failed step 1 so I can connect you with others struggling to deal with this if you want.

MAy god make it easy for you. We are with you and I am in the same situation

Please don’t give up.

Your journey and his journey is different. You guys are teammates but you don’t have to do the same thing he is doing and vice versa

if they shift all filtering to step 2 ck then making step 1 pass fail is of no use, instead they should tell the programs to not filter anyone with any three digit scores. Then only they can see the candidate’s full profile. May be limit the number of applications that a person can do. Or limit the number or specialities that a person can apply. So I dnt think it makes sense measuring step 2 ck, as the objective was to reduce exam stress and see the candidates work, cv, interests, publications, volunteer work, lab work etc. For example if you are interested in neurosurgery do you think that when you are a neurosurgeon that you will need to know about other specialities, No, you dnt, because you consult them anyways even if you know, its the rule and hospital policies. But yes if as a candidate if most of you interest was in neuro area then its more likely to get selected as a neuro candidate. Now this will make some sense. I have worked in Russia, Finland and India and I have seen especially in Finland that they care a lot about how much work or interest you have in that speciality for eg a research, publication related to that speciality. This is awesome way of seeing a candidate and not some three digit score which anyone can get if they study for 12 - 18 Hours for one year vs someone who just studied for 3 months and got a low score. Remember that patients dont come to you in your clinic giving you 5 or 4 options to give an answer to them and you need professionalism and an entire different skill set dealing with each patient and colleague. Exams should always be pass or fail and a candidates real ability has to be seen and observed closely before taking him/her into the programme. This is scoring system is quite old and dates back to a century now, this looks very backwarded in time. Now candidates who get good grades might consider themselves as superior to others who scored less but that does in no way has any clear way of knowing whether or not a low scorer can or cannot perform, wheN in fact it has been seen a bigger dropout from competitive residency slots which are taken with hig scoring candidates, due the stress at work, and that no way correlates with exam stress, its completely different world out there vs your computer test. Your physical emotional, and psychological ability and good mental health can keep you very resilient while good and high test scorers have not been checked on this. So all this is really something to reason and think about. I got a 216 in 1st attempt in step 2 ck and I will apply to Neurological surgery inspite of the facts that people say that forget about it. As once wise man said, the lion does not worry himself with the opinion of the sheep( Tywin lannister - Game of Thrones). So just keep on focusing on your goal and foget about what anyone might say about your attempt or scores.

Thank you for sharing 💛

Failure is a tool. Make failure in one genre makes you stronger for the next. A topic that I advise to my own subscribers. Many people will never attempt to achieve their goals. Fear and lack of motivation will keep at least half from the pursuit. But a huge amount of people will be pushed off the path to greatness because they will initially fail then quit. And this is the weeding out process. People will dip a toe into the water of attempt but will not fully take the plunge--be willing to fail repeatedly, especially when they know others are judging that belly flop that was supposed to be a swan dive. But failure is important. Because it shapes your craft. Or future strength. You learn from it. My second channel is doing better than the first one already because of mistakes I learned from. Failure should be where you learn your strategy, how to tweak it so it works next time. Remember--Thomas Edison not only failed--he failed about a thousand times before the light bulb finally turned on. If you really want to succeed, to be the expert, you will have to use failure as a tool, not an entity that makes you quit. Hope that helps someone out there. -----Charles

I'm glad that I learnt a few lessons when I took the MCAT...even before Med school and Step 1: 1. NEVER sit an exam if you do not feel ready. 2. NEVER aim to just pass, aim to excel.

Look up Tracey A on RU-vid. She failed Step 1, recently matched in residency. You can do it.

I am also in same situation Idk what to do im just postponing my exam in my last uworld form 1 i got 158 please give me some advise what to do next?

❤❤❤❤

When you did STEP 1, it wasn't pass/fail?

Did u ask them to run ur score again? Maybe they miscounted

AMAZING VIDEO . I AM DR.FIZ AND IMG. I AM ALSO RUN A RU-vid CHANNEL AS WELL AS OTHER SOCIAL PLATEFORM FOR USMLE .CAN YOU PLEASE DO WEBINAR WITH ME AND HELP PEOPLE IN USMLE JOURNEY?

If you're not absolutely set on becoming a doctor, you can go to nursing or PA school then still work in healthcare.

06:27am - 14.07.2021

Have u retook the exam??how r u sister?

I suggest that you take a year off and have a serious talk with yourself. God has a big plan of success for you whether in medicine or elsewhere. Did you know that nurse anesthetist make more money than family physicians?