My partner had Hodgkin's Lymphoma once and is in remission and she told me the worst part about cancer was how everybody would constantly expect her to be positive, and now really allow her to be upset in the moment.
I soooo get that. Elli and I totally feel that way with friends sometimes. It's always a well of positivity. Sometimes you just wanna hear a good - 'yeah that just fucking sucks!' Stop telling me it'll be ok.
I still cant get used to your content going from gamedev/entertainment to "real man facing real shit" category. I cant even imagine what you're going through but please keep making these videos. I'm rooting for you, man.
Hehe, it's a jarring change for me too. One second I was a young idiot making games and now I need to be an adult serious person dealing with seriously serious shit. I'll keep making these as much as I can you can bet on that! :)
As someone dealing with their own stuff, talking about the painful things out loud and sharing does a lot to understand and process, scientifically proven. It's not enough to keep it inside your brain or in personal journals. Psychotherapy has shown me that the hard work (talking about and facing the scary shit) is absolutely vital to processing and making piece with it - whatever it is. Hang in there blood. It's absolutely okay to be upset and sad. You can't feel positive and happy by burying your sadness. I see it like taking a big painful dump. Maybe you ate a little gravel and now you're taking a giant, difficult, long, leg-numbing deuce, but if you don't do it, you will toxify and die. Get that shit out, brother. To do so on a public forum is incredibly scary, but you also gain the reward of everyone in that public forum joining your army of support.
Gotta tell you I'm not 100% sure I needed that specific metaphor, but nonetheless I thank you kindly for you words. Hehe, you're awesome, made me laugh.
Koko, being young although a bit older than you i seek how to live again. New normal does not work for me because Ive been dealing with a horrible form of colorectal cancer that has caused chronic digestive input and output problems to put it mildly. Your self discussions are thoughtful and genuine. We cant help but cry to ourselves sometimes thats all we have left. I understand.
Good to see you. Uncharted territory is always hard but you don’t have to always be hopeful and positive. You just have to be you and run the full range of emotions. Getting some outside input on your emotions is the best advise you can give anyone. Your wife will know you are feeling bad, even if you try to hide it, she’ll need to share her bad days too so share them, cry together. Take care.
