STORY TIME: HOW I FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND IS GAY *DOWN LOW MEN* | YVONNE QUEEN 

Sometimes a man hurts every women that enters his life because his true soulmate is a man

Ladies NEVER…and I mean NEVER discredit what you feel!!!! The world calls it your intuition, believers call it the Holy Spirit. Call it what you will but ALWAYS TRUST IT!!!

When I was in high school my first “boyfriend” was DL. He was the most manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive person on the planet. He would embarrass me in front of others, intentionally leave me out or ignore me or talk down to me. He acted like I annoyed him in every way and he was feminine but I just was in denial and made excuses. I finally dumped him bc I couldn’t understand why I was being treated that way. Eventually he came out. I’m glad I learned the lesson early on: if a man is feminine and showing red flags but also in a relationship with you and treating you like dirt for no reason, he’s probably repressed and taking it out on you. I never made that mistake again. Happily married for 16 years. I pray you find a man worth your time!

This is a character problem, not a gay problem, and I'm sick of people using their sexuality/struggles as an excuse to abuse another person, risk their health, and sanity..

This is the thing, not many people care that you are gay. It’s when you manipulate straight people to be with you for a cover up is when it becomes a problem. This will get you hurt or killed in the black community. Be who you are, just leave us out of it. Glad you are out of that mess, blessings to you!

The worst part isn’t even him being gay, it’s him cheating and lying for so long :/

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Actions speak louder than words. He was giving you RED BANNERS.

Welp I’m here for a reason and I hate that I am..6 years and found out he was DL today..my child’s father..beyond hurt and not sure where to go from here…praying God restores me and heals me

I dated a guy that I found suspect ...I told him about my suspicion and told him if he was I am not here to judge him ...I gently told him that he should live in his truth ...that man broke down and cried ...I could see the fear and confusion in him...but u know what my approach and support gave him the courage to admit to himself and family that he was gay ...to this day we are friends...sometime fear and shame cause people to hide and deceive

As a gay man I can tell you from the minute she started talking about this I saw the red flags instantly. I think women often times don’t trust their intuition. I hope you got tested. I hate you had to experience this. Situations like these make women feel like they can’t trust men.

My BD was down low and is now with a cross dresser. Same cross dresser neighbor he claimed to hate. Whole time that was his man

Literally this video saved my life, today I felt the depression of this happening to me 2 years ago and being blamed for his ways and the mistreatment from it. Like I'm still broken spiritually, emotionally and physically ill from this. More than often I feel like I'm just existing and feel beyond hollow inside. No amount of therapy and meds is helping....feeling so alone and then watching this has helped me today. Thank you for sharing.

You can’t watch out for it because they’re so crafty with it! You think they out playing basketball and they playing with each other’s balls!

Skirts, suspect friends, grinding....we gotta stop closing our eyes to the truth.

100% this is the worst betrayal that a man can do to a woman. No lie, I think this has happened to most women but a lot of us don’t know. I felt in my bones that my ex was like this, he never admitted it but there were 🚩 all over the place. I won’t trust any man now.

This happened to me I never looked at men the same since I’m trying to get over it but it’s unreal that a man could love you and put your life at risk daily

I almost dated a down low dude. But first before I got serious with himI let my pastor meet him. Well my pastor had a meeting with him. After the meeting my pastor told me to run he battling with his sexual identity. And I listen to my pastor I stopped talking to him. Years later I saw him in the store he was still single and feminine acting, I said to myself thank God for a spirit filled pastor. I’m happily married 13yrs. Praise God.

Idk what’s more disturbing…the video or the fact that you have 1.5K comments of women who have similar experiences 😳

I lived with 2 gay men when I lived in San Diego, one of them was "homo thug", that was the term and the other was I guess you could call I regular guy, you would have no idea they were gay. I saw so many married men come through that house I lost count. I saw guys I was stationed with,I saw people's boyfriends, siblings, there are a lot of men on the down low, bi-curious and just bi-sexual. Ladies my besties are gay, if you think your man is gay he most likely is. You are not crazy, or imaging things, he just likes having sex with other men.

After reading theese comments I truly feel like we are rapidly nearing the days of Sodom and Gomorrah 😢

I wish more men can own up to being bisexual. As a gay man, it would be easier for ALL parties involved. Sorry you went through this.

Um...my friend who was married to her husband of 17 years found out he was gay way too late! He was physically and verbally abusive to her and on top of that, he gave her AIDES! She just recently passed not too long ago and my heart feels for her! MAY SHE REST IN PEACE!😥! PLEASE BE AWARE WHO YOU GET INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS SO CRUEL!

I had a boyfriend who when we first met he told me up front that he was with a guy prior to me and I told him what else is new ? The fact that he told me up front and let me make my decision as to whether I wanted to be with him is the thing that I respect

I had this happen to me and I can tell you it hurt me to my soul. My heart broke in a million pieces. The deception was real..😢

"Women's intuition" is real. It's a gift from God that we were born with. Never ever doubt yourself. Go with your gut. Ask questions. Be protected! When all else fails, get you a gay friend who can help you when your gaydar is off.

Your first sign was when he tried to commit self harm ever time you tried to break up with him. Anyone that does that is manipulative as fuck!

Listen.. I dated a DL man. You can always tell. In some cases (Not all) they’re very close to their sisters . Always in their business like a female.also the eyes and his mannerisms told me everything. I called him out on it when we got into a heated argument. I struck a nerve. He started messaging me from a fake Facebook account with an attractive man on it.. weird .also most DL men are child molestors or sexually attracted to little boys. Be careful ladies please. Do your homework

YES girl. My ex husband (a marine) told me when he went over sea after the 911. I'm home with his son. On the phone. He had got intimate with another guy before we got married 🙄 mind you we knew each other since highschool. How the ff you don't tell me. I refuse to keep this secret. My kids will grow up and know EVERYTHING.

My cousin married a man who was gay “down low” and had a child. When I first met him I thought he was gay by his mannerisms and him styling women’s hair as well. Even my grandma said she thought he was suspect. Before I could tell my cousin my suspicions they got married. They had a son but divorced once he came out. At this point I think it’s best for people to use our intuition about people. Our intuition is given to us to protect us. The more we listen to it the better we are at recognizing it. I’m glad you got through the situation.

Honestly this isn’t even a down low story. Wearing skirts, twerking on you, excitedly going to dinner with other men, up all night giggling over another man’s text….. he wasn’t down-low you were naive. Thank goodness you’re out of that situation. You’re beautiful

This just happened to me. Don’t think it doesn’t happen to white women. You will look back and see red flags. If he doesn’t pursue sex with you and wants a wardrobe that is more expensive than your’s, there is an issue. I noticed how my common law husband walked and he strutted. I think my ex is trans but I don’t know? Girl, it’s so scary and frustrating. My relationship lasted five years. I told my ex that it was ok for us to see other people, and he could live in our home. He still refused to tell me. Your ex’s best friend will never believe your ex was gay. It’s denial. This just happened to me and I don’t get it. These men will bad mouth us and talk sh@t about us, when we’re the supportive partners. I ran into the same problem. Every time I would tell him that I was talking to a male friend, he would go crazy. It makes us feel stupid and we’re not.

There's a book about this coming out: Deception, Disease, & Desperation: A Man's Guide for Women to Identify and Avoid Closeted Gay Men

I was married to a man who, whilst throwing old clothes out I found a love letter from his long term male lover of six years. He fell apart when I told him I found his love letter tucked in the back of a drawer.. he said he was bi. This was back in the early 90s when it wasn't as accepted to be gay. We ended our relationship a while after after I realised I was just a front. It took me ten years to fully get over the mistrust, and 17 years before we spoke again. It took him 3 failed hetero marriages to realise it wasn't for him and now is living his authentic life gay.

If you're husband starts wearing a skirt, that's your sign. If he had "suspect friends," that's also another sign. Us women take too much crap from men.

I married one too. Thank God I got through the divorce. He still denies it , but EVERYONE knows he's bisexual. As a matter of fact beforehand, it seems like the whole city knew but me and nobody said anything 😓

We want love, we want marriage, so it's hard to accept the signs. Not just the signs that a guy is gay, but also other signs of problems to come. The biggest one to me was when family and friends thought he might be suspect. The same thing happened to my best friend. That being said, I'm divorced because my husband had completely different issues. There were signs with my husband also. So we all could do a better job of accepting reality and being good with being single.

He could have told you he was gay in the beginning and y’all could have been besties instead!

I’ve been through this and it’s sad because not only were we married, but we have a child together. It sucks sis and honestly it’s a traumatic experience. To this day I question every man and first sign of anything I’m outta there…quick!

Sorry this happened to you! Thank you for your courage and strength to share this story with the world, and for that, you are an amazing, beautiful, young woman inside and out!

I partially believe my ex is gay or bi. He told me he kissed another guy a few years before me to try it out and said it’s normal to be curious. I told him I never had confusion on that front and I always liked men. He tried to shame me about not being bicurious like he was. I just had weird suspicions about him.. he still hasn’t come out but I feel bad for any other woman he dated next. I feel like I dodged a bullet

Also not all gay liars dress “different”. Men that are gay definitely dress like men.

I often wondered why most men who struggle with their sexuality are aggressive towards women... It's striking that you made that connection in your previous marriage.

This is so textbook and incredibly accurate to what I’m going through right now.. I’m married with two kids though 😞.. the gut feeling was unlike something I ever felt before and it never went away til I dug and dug.. he denied and denied and denied

Thank you for being transparent and sharing your story. Women need to hear this.

You were his beard, sweetie. That is why he threatened to off himself if you left. He was a manipulator.

There more black women with this story than you can ever imagine. The problem is that we don’t share our stories because we’re too ashamed and traumatized by the reality. The sad part is that they’re giving sista’s HIV at an alarming rate. I ask men upfront, “are you gay or have you ever engaged in bisexual activities?” Yea, some may take offense but I DGAF because my health comes first! Sista’s please protect your body and energy. BTW your hair looks beautiful Doll😍

Literally my exact story. I been dating my boyfriend for 6yrs I’ve literally found emails of him trying to sell his penis. I’m too afraid to be serious about confronting him and if i try to leave it’s always i love you blah blah. I think I’m in denial more than anything. I played this video aloud to see if he would say something and low and behold his question was “ what are you watching girl “ smh. My boyfriend is gay.

Not me calling up my bf and asking if he’s gay😭😭😭😭 girl this story is something else omfg🤧

She ignored EVERY red flag. She talks about it like the signs WERE NOT COMMON SIGNS. This is why we have to allow others input. If you are in denial an outsider can definitely assure you of any doubts!

PRAYER AND DISCERNMENT FROM GOD WILL KEEP YOU ON POINT FROM THESE UNTRUTHFUL TIME STEALERS

Narcissistic DL Men. I married one too. Whats even more embarrassing is he was my 2nd husband. 6 yrs of BS, close to NO sex, and financial abuse. Im so proud of myself for noy allowing shame to keep me there.

Please pray for me b/c I just found out my fiancé of 3 years and recently 2 twin 4 month old girls father is gay/bisexual or at these curious and want to try things sexually within both gender. I’m trying to b strong but I’m thinking I’m more in sick and in shocked that I was basically another cover( bc he does have another baby mama) for his denial of being D.L. But we literally was going to get married in 5 months, I’m graduating college and we were buying our first home in august. I happy that Ik this now rather then not filling my gut bc I could have caught anything and have it for the rest of my life or have to be treated but I literally just over came post and pre nental depression after giving him kids he wanted but later didn’t and now trying to be a better father/fiancé and now Ik why he was going through a lot of emotional anger and changes and confusion bc he got more than he wanted and not truly wanting to be “this” stuck with me and two kids but I’m leaving him rn as I type. Pray for me and my children (I even strongly know and feel my first child’s father gay or bi) he used to always try and do fight me pregnant with our kid and all for in and off and do drugs which I feel is a cover up. #dont date guys much older then u (who lie about their age major red flag) and #NEVER DATE IN ATL

Even though he showed signs🪧 … I’m not placing blame/ being judgemental, we all know what it’s like to be young and in love and dumb and look over shit… remember, she met this man at 20, an impressionable age… we as women need to show each other grace& understanding… lesson learned miss, you know what signs to look for in the future, be safe and peace and blessings on your journey 😘

Sis....those flags werent red, those flags were BURNING !!!! I'm just glad that you got out when you did. Always, ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. 💯

If you have to wonder if your man is DL, you have the answer.

I applaud you for talking about this. Most people I know would rather forget than share. This is helpful information to know.

I feel bad for her but that duck was walking, talking and quacking from the beginning of their relationship.

"Keep not thinking anything of it"... That was your intuition.... Always follow it! You'll never go wrong!

Appreciate your courage to share this!! I have heard stories like this b4 we gotta rebuke all the mess that breaks Copper woman..and their are simple tests that can help you see these sooner, and other gays can call em on the spot

I love your tone and vibe, it crazy how the down low guys be having the most patient and understanding women. Ain’t no way in hell my ex would’ve been that cool about the situation lol. I’m feeling her a lot!!!

At least y'all ain have no kids tied in this messs still very unfortunate tho

Just pay attention and don't second guess yourself. If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it's a DUCK! If he does gay things, he's gay! If he's MIA, he's either with a woman or a man and either way you don't want him in your life. Pray and ask God to reveal to you who this person really is in a way that you can't deny what you saw and He will show you. Love yourself enough to not make excuses for someone else's BS. I'm a lot older than you are and I've seen a few things in my life.😏 👀

Sis, your skin is so glowing and beautiful! You need to make a video about skincare tips, pretty please! 😍 I'm struggling with breakouts and hyperpigmentation! 🙏🏿

I'm so sorry you went through that! Obviously, he was trying to tell you what was up without actually telling you. There are good, honest men out here who want a beautiful young lady. Please take time to heal, pray and trust God to bring the right one to you. 💜

Sometimes a feminine man is attracted to your masculine qualities (confidence, strength, ambition, independence)

LONG BUT HOPEFULLY YOU READ IT. I hope my story also helps someone. My ex (when I was in my mid 20s) the first thing I saw was a text message. It was a link to a gay porn site. He said it was probably spam or something. I ignored it. As time went on my mom told me that my cousin told my dad that she believes my boyfriend at the time was gay. I was like “huh”? I’m like why didn’t she communicate to me about it? I’m the type of person if you tell me something I should watch out for, I’m going to investigate, I won’t get upset bc you told me. That means you’re watching out for me. Then while we were at a family gathering, my aunt had the nerve to say in front of everyone, “Yep so and so told me he was gay”. I’m like seriously? Wtf? You couldn’t talk to me in private? You had to say this in front of the entire family? Honestly my aunt had some nerve bc her husband was doing a lot of women in town and gave her chlamydia! Anyways, I did more searching, got into his Facebook. Then BAM! I saw messages between him and this guy who we actually went to high school with. Talking about “When are we going to meet again?” “You might want to get an AIDS test.” “I know you want this duck again.” There’s so much more. I confronted him about it. Yes he denied it saying his cousin or someone was using his Facebook. Like seriously?! Child bye. I found out about all of this information the day before my birthday. I will say this I always got checked for STDS/AIDS/HIV when I was with him, never caught anything. Let me tell you God watched out for me. Till this day (I’m in my 30s) no diseases. Even though this was a long time ago I’m still thankful I’m disease free bc some things pop up later. I’m highly blessed. He was cheating on me with men and women! To make it worse he was mentally and physically abusive and a stalker. God has completely covered me. It baffles me how someone could hurt someone by not only cheating but damn on the down low! All these diseases going on out here? Hell no! Be smart ladies.

I walked in on my ex with a transgender woman in my apartment 😩😩😩😩these down low men really be playing a dangerous game

We need to get back to judging righteously so these demons won’t be having field days with us…you should judge someone by what they wear, how they talk, how they act, what kind of music they listen to, who they hang around, their beliefs…etc. That’ll save you ALOT of time and pain moving forward! Thanks for sharing

There's so many men like this and it's very disturbing.

There is a rule of thumb that both me and my friends live by as it pertains to gay or DL men, “if we as women have to ever DOUBT a man’s sexual orientation (meaning not str8) then there is no reason to pursue anything further.” Every time me and my girls have had doubts about “str8” men who are gay or on the low we have been 100% right. This is simply off of DOUBT and DOUBT alone. Meaning we do not need to investigate or have evidence to substantiate that doubt. Our DOUBT alone will suffice and is more than enough!

Literally going through the same thing right now 😭😭😭😭 when I say I can’t eat sleep get mad angry so many emotions in one lord I’m just trying to take it one day at a time

Makes me scared to date...Being single isn't bad at all!

He sounds like a terrible person. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I'm glad you are out of that toxic situation.

Here's a piece of loving advice from an OG especially to you millennials and gen z, y'all always say, "Don't judge me, " in which I find is counterintuitive because in real life we all need to be a good judge of one's character, and that will prevent you for placing yourselves in such deviant and deceptive situations.

You attract what you fear keep your mind elevated and level headed only think of what you want to manifest in your life or what you’re appreciative for

“How do we watch out for that? I don’t even know”! This resonated with me and I wasn’t even married to the dude that did this to me. Also I’m a white woman and he was 60 years old! You would’ve thought he had it figured out by now. Truly devastating and still healing 9 mos. later. Hearing stories like yours remind me that it’s not about us.

I’m going through this right now…can’t wait to share my story one day. Never thought I’d deal with this…but it is now one of my many testimonies.

This is why it's important to be honest with the person that you claim that you love.

Happy you freed yourself sis , ✨❤️blessings on the way to you for sure

You are so strong and brave. Continue to keep moving and I pray your thoughts your heart and your mind be delivered from him and his shenanigans ❤️

To all my sisters out there you gotta pray and fast to ask god to reveal to you who they truly are. Only god can save you from this bcuz the devil is behind most of these guys and the devil is the biggest deceiver. Words of wisdom

This is why rushing to get married by society standards can set you back.

Thank you for sharing this with us, I know this had to be so traumatic to go through. Even though I don't know you, I give you my love and support and I hope you receive all of the good things headed your way.

AIDS...that would be my biggest fear. LOTS of BM are DL...LOTS.

You're not gonna always know when a man is on the down low because not all down low men are clockable . Meaning... Not all of them look, act, dress, talk, walk, move, etc. like they're gay or bisexual . You'll have to hear about it, see it, hear it, see pics, and/or videos of him with a gay, bisexual, or transgender person .

That gut feeling is ALWAYS on point 😩

Im so sorry u went thru this and never doubt ur intuition again! Being manipulated and lied to is never okay! I just also wanted to add that there’s also plenty of straight men who put their hands on women as well, so I just feel like that went towards his character and not really towards the fact he’s gay

My Lord, you are beautiful, your soul and your exterior! Saying this in the straightest way possible. 🤣 blessing to you, thank you for sharing!

Man I'm beginning to think that Most guys are downlow or at least bi-curious just from the stories I keep hearing. If there's 10 men in the room 7 of them have had some type of secret homosexual experience or at least thought about in their lifetime. If I could prove it I would put money on it. Not All men but I'm sticking to most. It's scary, glad you got out..

I remember when I found out my ex was down downlow 🤮 I went thru his phone & some dude was asking him how much he'll charge to do sexual things with him & I was sick to my stomach

You're a good storyteller and it was cute to watch you do your hair. You have a new subscriber

Hear me loud & clear-🗣️ Anyone who will not only stock your page, but will sit outside your Grandma House has serious issues & you shouldn't take that lightly. Your ex-husband of 7 years has love for you gay or not, and this co-worker/ man lover of his knows that. Jealousy isn't something to play with, keep your guard up.

I’m happy the truth came out for both of you. Now you can find someone more suited and compatible❤️

I want to say I am sorry that you went through all of that. This was not fair to you. Please remain strong and go forward. I know it hurts. You deserve to be with someone who love you and only you.

He did so much to mask the reality of what was actually taking place. Why not just be completely honest about how he was truly feeling...

One thing I learned is that you don’t have to judge a person if they are your friend but you have to judge when your dating sadly

Sorry that you had to go through that, people need to be open and honest, Don't have someone who loves you and defend you to their family and years later you prove the all right.

Thankyou for sharing your story and I’m glad you didn’t contract anything. You just have to be careful out here. That’s why now that I’m 22 I definitely have learned to not question my intuition and not doubt myself. I’m very picky with men in general.

I really don’t understand how someone can live a second life with no remorse at all. Even the straight men, this is another level though. Live in your truth because the truth is always revealed.

My family still till this day doesn't believe me when I try telling them my ex-huband was/is dl--because he's a very masculine "looking" Nigerian. But sometimes it's the "masculine looking" homophobics.