Struggles with being an Asexual! (Gets emotional!!) 

being an asexual, sometimes the world really makes me want to thrown up

telling people I'm asexual makes everything so much harder, so i rarely tell anyone

Being a female asexual one of the things I had to deal with, especially in my 20s, were guys reacting to me telling them I don't like sex (wasn't using the asexual label then cause it wasn't really acknowledged at the time) with them telling me that THEY could fix that. That these guys had some sort of magic dick that could "cure" me and make me like sex. At first I would laugh it off but time after time after time it got really frustrating. But I totally get getting sad about being asexual. There are some times when I simply rage at the heavens with the cry of "why can't I be normal" and I've been dealing with this for 35 years. But at the end of the day, 95% of the time, I'm happy with who I am and I hope maybe someday I can find someone who feels the same about me too :) Don't be too hard on yourself- you're still a proud asexual even if you wish maybe you could be someone else too, nothing wrong with that in my book. It's human nature to wish for an "easier" path. Doesn't make you less proud of who you are, just makes you human. And don't discount the kid thing just yet my dear- there are many options and things may work out for you in the future *HUGS*

I'm homoromantic asexual, and I feel the same, it just causes issues, and sex is meant to be fun, well it is, for everyone else but me, I'm slightly sex repulsed and I can't explain why, it just makes life SO much harder than it needs to be.

It's stories like these that make me refuse to be silent about asexual pride, you have all my love and support (I know this video is old but still you're such a sweet person and I wanted to let you know you have a special place in my aroace heart)

I'm ace and i lived all my life trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me and how to "fix" it so I could be "normal". The first time of my life I felt normal was when I learned what was asexuality a few days ago, I suffered of being "abnormal" for 20 years of my life because nobody told me that not being sexually attracted was possible.

This really hit hard. Going through similar feelings. I wish so much to like sex as well. It's so unfair that the world revolves around it and if you're not into it you're broken. I wish to have children and a normal life, but finding a similar partner seems just unlikely. Don't feel like you need to apologize for getting emotional. I've met so many guys who feel that way. It's one addition to all the things we're supposed to be. To me it makes you real.

I'm asexual and I struggle as well. When I first realized I might be asexual, I told my best friend and she immediately asked "are you sure". Then after I explained what asexuality was and she told me that I was a "late bloomer", that I "haven't found the right person", and that I shouldn't make up my mind yet because "it might change as I get older". Several people have told me that along with "do you masturbate" or "try masturbating" almost as if they believe that me masturbating will prove I'm not asexual or will "fix" my asexuality. I've been told that I'm a disgrace because I refuse to reproduce and continue my family line. I've been told that I'm a closeted lesbian. And of course there's the "have you tried it" and "how do you know if you haven't tried it?". One guy practically argued with me saying that I can't decide if I'm asexual if I haven't tried having sex even after I told him that sexual attraction comes before sex and not after. I've been called a lair because "it's impossible for someone to never be sexually attracted to another person" and "everyone thinks about sex". I'm honestly just tired of being told that there's something wrong with me or I'm a liar. I don't like being told that sex is the only way to show someone how you feel. There have been many times where I've hated myself for being asexual and I wanted so bad to be heterosexual, just any kind of sexual.

Haha! People think, i am gay, because sex or girls never interested me at all and in films, I always looked away when a sex scene came :D

I can't believe no one has figured it out yet. No one has seen the fact that I have never been chasing girl's, or having crushes. My parents are always pointing out hot girl's i should go after, and i just agree and move on. The only one to ever suggest me being asexual was my English teacher. I said something like "not that im gay" and he said "but you might be asexual" and i just laughed it off, because other students were there. But that really hit me. I never considered being asexual until that moment. Im surprised my parents haven't figured it out yet, since they both dated a million people and were married by the time they were my age (20) If i told them, they would say it is a phase, and say its a phase. My sister may have been partially asexual. Since she didn't date anyone until she met her husband. I would really like to meet other asexuals.

Oh my word, I would love to date an asexual man. It would be so amazing to have a man who truly wanted to build intimacy............ and who understood what that meant

I relate to you, and it makes me feel so much better that someone else feels the same. I'm asexual, and I don't like it either. I feel like my life would be easier if I was straight, but I just don't like sex, and its really hard to deal with. I'm surrounded by sex all of the time and it's basically a norm and I feel so much pressure to want to do it, but I just don't. All of my friends like sex and I don't have anyone to relate or talk to and I can't say I don't like sex without offending them, so I'm glad I found someone else is going through something similar, I mean I'm not glad you feel that way, I just feel less sad that I feel that way.

It's really hard being asexual. I've met a few people online.. but never in real life. I live in a /very/ small town. It seems like I'm never going to find the right person. I've met people who are sexual, but say they are okay with being in a relationship without sex. I feel like that's not fair to them. I also don't feel comfortable knowing the other person is sexually attracted to me.

Hey dude, just wanted you to know that there are more of us out here. I never had a problem with it until I got into a relationship. Now there are all sorts of issues- not bad. He's very good about it. But I feel bad about it. I hate being asexual. I feel your pain. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one. Thanks for being brave enough to post this.

damn this hit right at home we aces are like legendary pokemon

I'm aro ace and feel scared to tell anyone. The general feeling about asexuality in my friend group is "you're faking it for attention" and "it's just a phase, you'll find someone". it makes me feel awful and scared to come out so I just fake being heterosexual and it's horrible. :(

What you said in this video really resonated with me. Im also 19 and I identify as demisexual, which means that I only develop sexual feelings for someone once I have made an emotional connection with them. It wasn't a choice. It's something I have experienced all my life. When I tell people, I am always met with the same response: "That's normal, isn't it?" I'm afraid in the hook-up culture live in, it isn't. I'm so sick of explaining to people why I won't hook up with them and getting assumptions and defensiveness in return. However, there are other people out there who feel the same way, even just a bit. You can see it in the comments on your video. You can see it in the LGBTQIA+ marches happening around the world. People are coming together to support each other as we move towards a world more accepting of people identifying as minority sexualities. In terms of your feelings about having children, there are options. Perhaps it isn't IVF, maybe it's adoption. Just think about this: all you want is to have kids and all a child up for adoption wants is to have a loving parent who cherishes them. There are absolutely no losers in that. Just remember that there are people who can identify and want to share their stories just as you have. I hope you stay as strong as you have been so far. Good luck!

Asexuality makes life so much easier and harder for some reasons. You don't have to deal with sexual attraction which seems to be an inconvenience

Don't worry. A lot of people on AVEN would change our sexualities if we could. It's just so fucking frustrating, making relationships hard and being yourself pretty annoying with friends/family who don't accept you, etc.

oh wow, I'm crying about this. I totally get the whole wanting to be straight thing and feeling like you're broken and not fitting in with what you feel like you're supposed to be. I'm asexual and biromantic and I didn't know till I was 17 (I'm 20 now) and it was a major problem in every romantic feeling I've had. Like, I love you, but the most I want to do is kiss you?? not something most people understand, and it makes me doubt whether I can ever be enough to someone. I want to be married to my best friend but they would never do that because it's not considered "healthy" to have a nonsexual marriage. I feel awful when it comes to Christian stuff too, because I know God made me the way He did for a reason but so much of the world says otherwise. I wish my romantic and sexual orientations at least lined up, because right now, it's like "I like you, as like more than a friend, but not like that" and people don't get it that I'm not just being a "virtuous Christian girl" who's waiting for marriage, it's like that's not what I even want out of life in the first place. sorry if this is too long, but yeah.

I feel like such a small minority. No one knows or understands why I don’t like Girl or Boys (or wanna do it) I feel like my friends don’t know I’m so alone when I’m supporting others.

I'm female and 16 years old (turning 17 soon) and I've been thinking recently a lot about my sexuality. The thing is that I never had a relationship with someone and I never kissed someone and I never felt in love with someone. People think it's weird and they talk a lot about me. Nevermind, I saw your videos and I was so happy. People like you give me hope. You made me feel better about myself. Thank you so much. btw I'm from Austria and in love with your accent. :)

Just a little update, I am no longer speaking to the girl I mentioned in the video.

I totally relate. I very often wish to have any sexuality that wasn't ACE. Life and relationships would be so much easier. I'm 34 yrs old. I only realized my asexuality 6 months ago. I spent my entire life being told that "this is a phase". Well, I'm done chasing that sexual unicorn. I think that doing what you're doing is so perfect and so brave. I see it's been 4 yrs since u posted this video. I do hope you have embraced your asexuality since then. I am still learning to embrace my own. The dating scene has been so complicated for me that I had given up hope for myself. But now that I know that there ARE ppl out there just like me...I have hope again. Because of ppl like you! So, thanku 🙂

Figuring out that I am aseuxal recently, I have dealt with a lot of the same problems as you. You are such an inspiration to me, and it feels good to know that someone understands, because to be honest no one truly understands us asexuals unless they are one. I wish you luck with everything and thank you for spreading awareness :) you are amazing

Oh my gosh ): I was crying with you as I watched this video. Even though I'm a proud asexual, I can empathize. Honestly I don't think I would be nearly as proud of being asexual if it weren't for my romantic partner - he's so amazing and he completely understands. He's never tried to pressure me or tell me that I should want things that I don't want. So this video actually made me realize that I owe a lot to him. I also like the idea of having children in my future with a husband. However, because of being a pretty sex-averse asexual, (and also being the one with a uterus) I find the idea of conceiving my own kids to be... not pleasant. :| That might even be a huge understatement. I don't like the idea of having sex, and I don't like the idea of pushing an eight-pound human being out of my vagina. So I would like to adopt, but at the same time, I would like to have a kid with the same genes as me.. idk... :\ It's not something I've fully thought about or worried about because I'm only 22, and I don't plan on getting married any time soon. So yeah - I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Finding this 5 years later and I'm grateful for your brave honesty.

I TOTALLY SUPPORT THE ASEXUAL COMMUNITY! I wish people understood that asexuals are just like anyone else, nothing wrong with being born this way. People need to wake up! Sending my love, my voice to spread awareness, and total support! Coming from a girl who has sex every week & never met someone asexual

Being a female demisexual, I find it a struggle in this hook-up culture to feel like I have to explain to people that I can't even think of sex unless I form a strong emotional connection with a guy first and even then I am making a choice to abstain from sex until marriage. The thing is, if I lived in the 1930s or 1940s, I'd probably be considered normal, but because I don't want to have meaningless sex and actually want old fashion romance, I feel like an outsider in this society. Aw, that's so sad that you thought of killing yourself. I hope you're dealing with your struggles a little better now. I hope to be a mother someday, but I worry that I'll never meet anyone who will want to take their time and wait.

I recently discovered that I'm a demi homoromantic asexual. I thought I'm just gay but I know there is still something I haven't realized about myself.

Thank you for making this video and sharing your thoughts on what asexuality means to you. I'm nearly 35 and have been struggling to understand what I am for over 20 years. It's most definitely not a choice and in some ways it's probably the least understood sexuality. I am so pleased that you have found someone that understands who you are. Hold onto the positives.

Your so kind and have beautiful eyes. Thanks for sharing this information. It helps me realise there is others out there like me

I'm so thankful for you being raw about these issues you have. I watch videos on Asexuality constantly and sometimes I get discouraged because of how proud and content everyone seems to be about it while I'm struggling and wish I could change it. Everyone saying, "if I could take a pill to change it I wouldn't cause I'm not broken" baffles me. I would take a pill to change it in a split second if I could. I have so much respect for people who are proud and happy! I wish I could be like that but I'm just not.

I miss having feelings in general I don't wanna be asesexual anymore :/

Thank you SO much for sharing your story!! Speaking as a feme asexual, I agree completely. I would MUCH rather be plain old straight at the end of the day too. Being asexual DOES SUCK for many reasons. You have total validation from me to feel how you feel. We are all on this planet doing the best that we can. You take care :)

Wow I am a asexual 15 year old girl and not to put any pressure on u but I really do look at u as a big inspiration. You are an amazing person and I am SOOOO happy I discovered your channel. So once again thank you for just being a huge inspiration to me and thank you for being the wonderful you

I feel the same as you do. I'm not proud to be this way, and I want to be heterosexual so badly. I'm just not though. Thank you so much for this video. I've seen a lot of videos on asexuality, but most people are proud of it and happy about it. It's really good to hear from someone who feels just like I do. Being asexual is really difficult and there's so many ways that it impacts your life especially when it comes to relationships, having kids, and explaining yourself to other people. I'm having a really difficult time accepting it, and have been very depressed and suicidal for a while, and my sexuality is one of the reasons for that. Thank you thank you thank you for this video. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with it.

I understand this though. I'm out on the internet but irl i don't think i'll ever come out tbh it legit scares me. And I do am scared that I can't have a relationship ever. Right now if I get asked I just act weird and ignore than cause I'm basically just scared. I don't like touching and hugging people but if i could i would give you a hug :)

OMG, finally someone that feels the same! I feel like I'm a weird copy of yours, I'm soon studying to become a primary school teacher, I want children on my own and jeez, I'm so afraid of the future. *eyes sweating*

Thank you so much for your honesty here. I never feel like I can talk about not wanting to be ace, not being proud of it, struggling with it. I understand the need for positivity in the ace community, but it's so hard to find spaces where it feels acceptable to talk about how I wish I wasn't and how I wish I could want sex. Hearing someone else talk about it is really helpful and affirming to me in its own way. So I really appreciate this video.

I loved your video. I think it's a perfectly reasonable issue to get emotional about. I too am asexual and I get very angry or sad about the things people say, imply or do or how I feel in certain situations. Even without people saying anything mean or stupid or even knowing that I'm asexual, they can say things that make me feel lonely or pissed. It's hard being a minority sexuality, but you do have a community who understands. I'm so excited that you've found a connection with someone. Also, I found that my sex repulsion was super high through high school and college when sex was all everyone ever talked about....but suddenly, when I got to graduate school and work and people talked about normal life things, sex really doesn't bother me anymore. I even consider myself gray-sexual now. I think that my slight aversion to contact and sex got polarized because of the people around me who were so fricken' obsessed with it. Now that I look at sex as a form of art, like dancing or theater, it doesn't seem as disgusting or uncomfortable. I do think that we can sometimes psyche ourselves into being sex-repulsed when we might actually be sex-neutral. Take a breathe, *hug* and remember life is long and ever-changing and awesome things do happen if you let them.

Thank you for being honest. I really sympathize with this video, and even though you aren't a proud asexual, I hope that you will be able to be and find a way to love yourself and achieve your dreams and be yourself. You're awesome. You just got one more subscriber, and alas I write this, I realize you are at 1471 subscribers and have since probably moved on from this. I hope you love yourself and have a fantastic day.

I love being ace, i feel so free from these feelings that im supposed to feel. No relationship drama and all that. When my friends tell me about their problems im always happy i dont have to go through that shit :D

Couldn't help but smile at how excited you were about having 95 subscribers 2 years ago, and now you've got over 2,000! x) So happy for you!

I can relate when people said my sexuality was a phase. But I understand their doubt in it to an extent. I'm gay but have never shown allot of feminism. I wasn't into girly things as a kid, I actually used to be very athletic and rough and tough. So they were... surprised... when they learned that about me :) Everything's cool now so awesome!! :D

I can relate to "being straight is just a phase" haha. cuz I used to believe that I'm straight before I realised that I'm actually asexual

It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Thank you.

God, I'm so sorry you feel that way. I really hope this will go away and you'll be able to be happy of who you are! Because you should be.

What I like about your videos is that you're really genuine & just speak from the heart!

It's so hard to find people I can relate to, so many people think I'm weird or "messed up" just because I'm asexual, I've lost multiple relationship because I can't have sex, it hurts, being asex in a society that seems to run by it. But knowing that I'm alone is really helpful

Tryna figure myself out. I wholeheartedly appreciate this video and your brute honesty. You’re not sugar coating, just being genuine. Thank you for putting such a vulnerable video out. Best wishes from the States

Im crying because I relate so hard. It’s so hard wanting to be normal it torments me. I have a loving partner that accepts me already which is great and all but it just sucks SO fucking badly to have someone who loves your body and the way it feels and you just can’t understand or experience that type of love with them. I love my partner with all my heart but it still makes me feel like I don’t love them well enough or like I I just don’t get to experience that happiness that I want to be able to feel but can’t even though I can make them feel that way. I want my body to work right. I don’t want to hate myself. I want to be normal. wow im crying really hard

I'm sorry for you, mate. I can't say I'm a proud asexual because I haven't really told anyone in my family or any of my friends (though I know they probably suspect it, I mean 27 and no boyfriend/girlfriend yet?). Until 2 years ago I didn't even know what asexuality was, but since I found out (thank you, internet) I think I have most of me figured out. I'm not ashamed to be an asexual and I don't think any of my friends or family will care that much, but I'm not quite ready to come out just yet. But I am not really sad that I "not normal", if find the concept of "normal" to be restricting to mostely everyone anyway. But of course, we all have to go through some rough patches. I can see that you are sad about not feeling normal, though. And that you struggle with it. And I am not gonna give you a lecture about how you should feel, because I don't know you and you don't know me. But I am sitting here, feeling for you. And if you want my opinion; you seem to be a nice, funny, caring guy and I genuinly hope things work out for you. You're gonna be ok, you'll see :) Nothing but love :)

I'm now 55. Years ago, "I found the one," and it's been a bumpy ride. I wound up in the gay world, but I became dis-illusioned with it because of all the sex. I never sexually connected with anybody. Even a gay friend still says "you fear your sexuality (being gay)," and I can't get through to him that it's not a matter of that, I never tried to cure myself, I just thought I wasn't attracted to men, so I thought about ladies. I'm still very nervous about my friend, whom I deeply, deeply love, but I am quite shakey. I don't blame myself, not at all, for who I am, as an "Ace." We can't blame ourselves, because, like you say, this isn't a choice. I can't believe how UN-judgmental asexuals are. I think this is a fabulous community, and, yeah, I'm glad to be a part of it! At least, things are more open now, so, of course, I give you my deepest thanks for this video!

You worry so much about the future. Just let it come and I'm sure it will be better than you think it will be. It's not going to be perfect, of course. But a few problems don't mean everything is bad, do they? I wish I could help you accepting yourself the way you are. At least you're not alone in this, and you're so so lucky not to be. I want to share one of my favourite quotes with you: "Feras, non culpes, quod mutari non potest - You have to bear silently what you can't change" (Publilius Syrus). It's a hard thing to do, but it helped me a lot when I was going through difficult times. Thanks again for your honesty! Ina

*hugs you as tight as possible* It's ok....you're a great person.

I am a 21 year girl and I feel scared that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life because I don't think I would find a man willing to accept the fact that sex repulses me a lot. I love your videos. They help me feel like I am not alone. You are an upstanding guy.

You can adopt. I love being asexual, it's awesome. I would never want to be normal anyhow, where's the fun in that.

Thank you for this even if it's pretty old, I found this when I was struggling with who I am and it gave me some comfort, I hope you're alright!!

Also thanks for 20,000 views and over 400 likes. I make lots of videos about asexuality and am trying to spread as much awareness as I possibly can :)

My personal experience with asexuality has been pretty difficult to deal with. I am currently 19, and have known for about a year and a half that I am ace. I am a gamer, and I have been for a long while now, but with this territory comes a predominantly male community in which I have made many of my friends. It seems as if peoples understanding of asexuality is so skewed, even when it is given to them in simple terms, a lot of the guys I have interacted with have felt as if my sexuality is something that can be tailored to them. As an example, you explain the lack of sexual attraction, and that some of us really do not like sex, at all, but some do. Without even questioning where you fall on the spectrum it is assumed that you will 'get over it to please your partner'. This is a very disrespectful double standard that I have come across too many times to count. I am apparently meant to appease someone else and make myself uncomfortable, but they have no obligation on their end to support my wishes. After quite a few times of this event occurring, I decided to tell every guy that I meet that I DO NOT date (when the topic arose), and if an explanation is wanted out of curiosity, I will explain asexuality to them. It is simpler, I can make many amazing friends (which I have), and I thought there wouldn't be any unnecessary complications to my friendships. Even with this boundary in place, I have had guys ask me out. At first, I would assume that this request would be asked with my asexuality in mind. This has not been the case for two different guys now, who used to be amazing friends. It makes it so hard for me to trust people, if those 'friends' can completely disregard and invalidate my boundaries and wishes, then everyone else has the ability too as well. Having my feelings completely invalidated by people on a constant basis is something that seems normal to me now. But it shouldn't be. I know there are other people with similar experiences to me, so I think it is important to share these kinds of things, even if it is not a happy story. You are not alone, and there are people, like me, that understand. Never forget that you are loved anyway

Thank you so much for this video. I'm 19 years old and I just discovered the term asexuality. I always thought it was just me and those sexual feelings would come eventually. I worry a lot about the future too, like am I ever gonna find someone who will except me for who I am and I also really want kids but how and stuff like that. There's a lot more to it than anyone would think so thank you so much for sharing this. It really made me feel like I'm not alone in this!

i love being ace, but i feel odd, i feel abnormal. i know it’s not a phase and stuff but i don’t feel the stuff what people are supposed to feel. i feel kinda empty. the people around me feel sexual attraction, and i’m assumed to also feel that as well, but i don’t, like many others. people are supportive of who i’ve told, mostly just friends, but i still feel different from them. i force myself into situations where you’re supposed to feel sexual attraction, but i don’t feel anything. i don’t feel normal either.

I just want to give you a big, fluffy hug, you seem like such a kind person and it pains me to see that you're struggling so much with this. I myself have no idea of where I am and in what spectrum in terms of sexuality and attraction. It hasn't been particularly hard living like this, but things have been keeping me busy and helping me get my mind off of it. Despite this, I can mostly understand what you are going through in terms of wishing you were someone else. My heart breaks every time I hear someone say this, the first time I heard it I was 6 and one of my classmates said it. Straight to my face. It was terrifying and I had no idea what to do. Sometime later I found myself bearing that wish and I was shocked when I noticed it. Luckily, I got over it with the help of my parents, teachers and a very friendly therapist over the course of 3 or 4 years. Now recently, a very dear friend of mine said the same thing, and the next day she threathened to kill herself. I talked her out of it and now she's getting professional help. I know what it feels like, and I know how bad it can get, so I do really understand you. I'm not telling you to run off to get some therapist to help you, that would be rude for me to do. Now, this video has been made a while ago and I can't be sure if you still feel the exact same way as in this video, but in every case, I'm sorry to hear that you don't have any contact with that lady anymore, she really seemed to make you very happy. I hope that you could make some sense of my rambling on this old video and that you find another person that'll make you happy soon! And I still want to give you a hug ;)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️I love this video and I came back to watch it again because I’m ace and I relate so much Recently I’ve been so suicidal because people judge me so much for a lot of things It depresses me so much They do at some point make me feel I’m invalid and broken 😔😔😔

i really love this post because I am also a minority sexuality (pan) and it really hit home for me when you said why don't straight people ever be asked "are you sure its not a phase and it really made me wonder why I am who I am and I now know that being pan is not just a phase so thank you ily

I'll be starting at a new college soon. My instinct is to not come out to anyone new, stay safe, why is it anyone else's business, etc. But hearing that some are SUICIDAL because they feel like they're "not normal" makes me want to say my entire list of identity labels right after my name when the inevitable class introductions happen. Even if I have to answer a dozen questions at once, if there is one quiet person in the back of the class who feels less alone then I will have achieved something awesome :)

this got me sobbing in my room. one struggle i hate about being ace is that social media is SO sexualised. like i can’t even scroll without some weird stuff popping on my screen or someone posting a flirty caption and all i think is, why do people like this stuff and wish that i could feel what they feel. it’s just so tiring hearing about sexual stuff all the time or people constantly observing your life so they can try and invalidate you, like it’s really exhausting.

You are ok man - just be yourself! I guess I am also asexual, but mine was probably caused by my having lifelong depression, paruresis, and other serious disorders. Still, I am very happy that I turned out this way. Biggest problem is the multitude of people who keep telling me that I have to "do it" before I die!

Really sorry to hear somebody feels so bad about themselves for being an ace... I can't really relate, at least not yet, but though I'm bad at comforting people, I'd love to send at least some words of support ♡

I resonate with this so much, i have never told anyone about how I am asexual,I have only told people online. God this is so confusing being asexual I did not even know that this community existed until a month ago. It was reassuring to know that there are other people like me, but at the same times it terrifies me because I know now that I can not change it. I was hoping that is was just phase and that I haven't me the right person. But I know that that is not true. I am terrified of ending up alone because they wont be able to accept that I dont want sex in a relationship, and it seems everyone in college is obsessed with sex. I have never even met another asexual in my life. There is not even an ace group on campus, I looked. God I am so pathetic.

You seem like such a kind person, it takes strength and vulnerability to talk about this because I feel it too and I'm sure a lot of people feel like the world just doesn't understand queerness and it takes a toll on your mental health

I 100% get you, man. One of my biggest fears is falling in love with someone but have it not work out because I can't provide them with something they want/need.

Lovely, honest vid. Speaking from a mom pov, stop thinking of hetero as "normal" so much as "generic." You have a uniqueness that presents some tough obstacles, but none that have to get in the way of your dreams. You may not know how to get around them at this particular moment, but it doesnt mean you never will know. Just from what you mentioned in your video, you have only begun to meet all the people out here in the world who would love to know and love you. Regardless of sexual orientation, finding a love match is hard because we all have needs and limitations that we don't even know about until a relationship shines a light on them. So keep dreaming and making your way toward that future you want for yourself. Bravo to you!

your so nice and positive, watching this video made me so sad, i really hope you don't feel depressed about your sexuality anymore and are happy with yourself because i personally love everything about you and your videos

I am just coming to terms with my Asexuality and how to even tell any of my friends and how to date, and I have the constant fear of being alone because of how hard it is to date and be honest with my sexuality and being misunderstood... Your video really gave me some hope, or something. Thank you for being so relatable.

I'm proud to be Asexual it's a weight of my shoulder. Always when I talk to women and I see they are interested I feel like I'm pressured and something is asked of me that I don't want. Thank god for this blessing.

You've got guts. Keep it up!

I'm asexual(and pansensual) and I'm glad. Sex never interested me. I would enjoy cuddling, but I can never entertain having sex with someone. The idea of seeing somebody butt naked makes me terribly uncomfortable and am repulsed by genitals. I personally never want children; Small children make me extremely nervous, but you can always adopt if you wish to have kids. Sexual minorities are keeping the world more in balance and keeping the population under control. There are so many children who are in need of parents, so instead of putting another one on this planet, why not take on a child in need of a guardian? My struggle is with the fact that everyone else in my family is straight and my brothers and other relatives are all married(or engaged) and/or having babies. I have been embittered and jaded from it and have been in need of friends. I have felt isolated for so long. I notice that when I'm in LGBTQ communities, I'm a much happier and softer person.

Oh sweetie don't cry... it breaks my heart

I just came out to my mom and she said it's completely fine and she'd be there for me. My mom told me she was demisexual all this time but she didn't know the term. I'm so happy at least my mom understood me. This video really can be related in a lot of ways for me. I shut down myself because of my sexuality, I hope I can be better someday.

i get it. I'm AroACe. and I'm mostly ok with the Ace part but I would give anything to not be Aro. even if I was just Demiromantic. thats what i get for being a hopeless romantic AroAce though. love the video by the way. :) i totally get wanting to change what you are.

Thank you for putting into words my thoughts. I too struggle with wanting to be heterosexual and not assexual.

I love this video! You have helped me so much, clarified things and made me feel as if I'm not alone; thank you x

I think #2 is so much more acute for ace people because if you’re a different minority sexuality you know that you aren’t making it up because you have those feelings for people, whereas for ace people it’s just being in limbo. If you’re attracted to guys then you can categorically say that you’re at least not straight because you’ve had those feelings. With ace people, you’re only waiting to see if you ever feel anything at all :(

nice video! you're really helping other people with these videos ^^ i'm sorry you feel so frustated about your sexual orientation but it's not the end of the world. Like the girl you've found i imagine there are other heterosexuals who don't give a damn about sex. Patience is the key ;) I wanted to point out to other fellow asexuals that may read the comments in case they get the wrong idea, is that you can still like sex and masturbate if you're asexual. I know it's not your case but i wanted to clear that out. I, for instance, i'm aro ace but in case if i ended up liking someone and dating them i wouldn't mind having sex. I'm just neutral because i could totally live without it but i don't think i would be grossed out if it happened. So yeah to sum up asexual entails not having the impulse to have sex bc you don't find someone physically attractive but you can still enjoy it. Hope everything turns out great with this girl :D Btw, i don't think you can reply to my message bc i have some weird settings in my google+ or something.

you are brave,it is normal to be asexual, just as gay or trans or anything,we all live in this world and people keep saying "everybody is different" but they don't accept and tolerate these differences,don't worry my friend, there are a lot of people around the world that accept and love you the way you are (and you are normal ) peace,if you need to talk no problem. Love you,from a French friend

don't wish to be who you are not, people that changed the world are people who accepted who they are and fought for the ones who Couldn't

Awww! Sending cyber hugs! I am also ace and most likely aro too. :) I understand some of your struggles. Be kind to yourself, eh? :)

I'm curious if your feelings towards your asexuality have changed since making this video. I don't think it's inherently wrong or that you even need to apologize for not wanting to be ace, but having come out as gay before realizing I was ace, I think I was already much more open and comfortable with the idea of being different that it made accepting my asexuality so much easier. I think that even if you never end up being a 'proud' ace, I think it's important to be at peace with your sexuality. As you said yourself, it's not something that's willingly changed and has caused you a lot of grief. To be able to accept yourself entirely and be comfortable and proud of your inner and outer self makes life so much better. And I'm not bragging, because I'm still on that journey (even after 10+ years), but I'm so much happier and I'm a much better person to myself and others and I feel like I can only grow from here. I wish you the best in this new year and I hope that it brings you happiness, success, and health. 💗

I'm late to your party, but I am totally with you on feeling like I'd rather be anything but asexual. Don't get me wrong, I have pride in being asexual, but my life would a easier being gay or being hetero. Growing up I would literally cry myself to sleep, thinking I was broken, wishing to find someone cute,cbs amuse then I would be normal. I have done things that I look back on and wish I hadn't. It makes me want to be sick, because I was trying SO hard to be "normal".

Never give up, dude. You’re great ! Keep up with the good work ! 😃

Im aromantic, i hate relationships and dating and romance SO much, and people always tell me "oh so your just currently not interested in dating, youll grow out of it and find someone." And its so freaking annoyong because i dont lime that, id rather have you or anybody as a friend than a lover, im repulses by romantic love arghhhh

I really enjoyed your video, C.M. Obviously I found it late to the game but no matter. I get your struggles and viewpoint. Although I identify as being asexual, I can also say that I'm not a proud asexual. I have never told my family that I am asexual per se, even. Being raised in an extremely religious family, it has been only recently that my choices to not get married (mainly because I just can't see making somebody live with a person who is never going to be interested in having sex with any person) and to have children through AI (artificial insemination) which happens to be a huge no no in my religion, have been accepted though not agreed with. I really and truly hope that everything works out for you.

This is so great!!! You're such an inspiration!

No offense, but it seems like you making things worse than they are. This affects not only you but also other people. Focus on the good things you have. Count your blessings. And having kids is not as great as most people think(raising kids is insanely hard, nerve wrecking and expensive!) and not the ultimate life goal. Life has so much more to offer! You can still be a great teacher, kinder gardener, uncle, big brother, foster parent or chose adoption. I'm personally happy that I'm asexual. I'm not obsessed over relationships(no stress!), have more time and money for me and my hobbies. I'm independent and can create my life the way I want. Wouldn't want to change that! :)

I’m an asexual as well but I really don’t mind since love is just a series of hormones that compel us to breed, yet we, as humans, have tried to make it into something more than that

dude this video hit me right in the feels...

i get you and this video so much im Asexual and iv tried to go out with boys and girls but nothing is there and it sucks. i would love a family and i love kids my our sexuality stops us and it sucks i understand you man. stay strong bro

I feel the exact same as you. Why would anyone choose to feel like they are never going to be happy with anyone in the future. Why would I choose to be repulsed with the idea of touching another person? I'm trying to be more accepting with my sexuality but it is really difficult.