Stupidly Long Crap Food Special | Ashens 

I always keep a copy of double dragon in the oven.

KNEAD THE DOUGH THE DOUGH OF THE DRAGON BAKE THE LOAF THE LOAF OF THE DRAGON

HalfwayBeret Larry the Cable guy is Mater from cars... According to Google anyway

Guitar Dome. Instant classic

SunburntRock89 :o sad onion!

+joshdm1986 yeah i know

when they first read his hat "Guitar Dome", i woke my roommate up i was laughing so hard

That's a guy who made a book saying 'Shades of Grey' 50,000 times for you.

josh kirby yep, that's ashens

+josh kirby then sold it on ebay/amazon (im not sure which)

no it'd be "oh no! iv'e left a can of speggettios in a locker for 30 years!" "Bon appeitit"

GobsmackedNumpty I just subbed cuz of the mr bean

That is basically the idea.

Basically what the EU wants to become. And yes i am British. A Racist Brit according to the remainers.

+Chef Excellence As a pretty liberal American, I would've voted to leave as well.

+Pompous Prique you know literally nothing about the EU or British politics. fuck off

Except we all get together to decide who will run the country, and then everyone fights, and the least qualified person is in put in charge to punish us. I think that's the idea anyways. Its the only way to explain why we got these choices in the election. Oh we also completely ignore the people who make the laws, and so nothing is ever done to protect our rights other than the odd decision in court. The more I understand politics the more I hate people.

Akasha Posegate still funny

@@oliverlindsay2659 still funny

@@bluesquadron8667 still funny

@@thecompanionnoob1408 still funny

I turned them off years ago anyway. I found them distracting.

I think wikipedia confused Larry the Cable Guy for Gottfried Liebniz.

TheRadPlayer Or maybe the rest of the world did.

Lee Perkins maybe it knows something we don't... Larry the Cable Guy, Time Lord.

Those are just alternative facts.

I'd like to remind you before the debate that CNN cried the hypocritical term (for them) fake news first.

Not if you're single, male, and British. Speaking of, I think my vodka's cooked to a turn. Back in a bit...

Like a child watching a puppet show about his parents getting a divorce.

it's like watching thing and a relative! XD

lets hope you never have to witness the aftermath of a split brain surgery

IVE SEEN THAT AND ITS JUST LIKE THIS

Alternatively, someone with DID fighting an alter for control of one hand, giving up, and then trying to do it together.

+MysticJhn I was thinking the same thing! Waaay too much liquid in that batter XD

Im sure there are tall boys in America.

There are, but the most common beers come in 12 oz cans. So if a recipe says "Add a can of beer", that's what you'd assume.

Yep, as soon as I saw that tall can of beer I knew they were in trouble. It did look better than I thought it would though, Did the instructions specified a lager? I think I would try a sweeter beer if I ever got a hold or one of these beer bread mix, maybe a Newcastle. If the results were good than I would try I higher quality Belgian beer maybe.

You have to remember though this product is aimed at the average American. Which means they will be using cans of Bud or Coors.

He's Mater from Cars isn't he?

+Ellie Scargill (EllieHasARU-vid) Yes.

You're easily amused then

+tman008 That patron saint of trailer trash.

Watching Americans doing general math amuses me.

Will Hornberger “guitar dome” cracked me up

@Sassy The Sasquatch yeah it's cool sometimes when there's some peculiar regional way of saying something in america, and it's the same in the UK and vice versa

*West country accent

@@JoeBleasdaleReal mate he's from Norfolk

@@curt6926 … and putting on a West Country accent.

Plot twist- The bread mix turns out to be *more* dangerous than cocaine and they subsequently die of an overdose. They then ascend to heaven where Chef Excellence fuses with Dan and drags ashens to the depths of hell where he is forever forced to watch Tooth Fairy 2 and listen to stand up comedy by Larry the Cable Guy all while being force fed food items from the Git-R-Dun range, left begging for the sweet sweet taste of rotten egg jelly beans.

my life is complete

Arya Suri 10/10 would binge watch.

How about **Baking Bread**?

And don’t forget the spin-off series Better Call Paul (and Eli)

+actionvolcano It's Guitar Dome, not guitar done.

+T.Y. Netees you moron it says Get-R-Done go look back in the video dumb ass. lol

Andy Gamer1337 No, but he said Guitar Dome, not Guitar Done. I know my L.T.C.G.- at least, the bare minimum,

+actionvolcano R.I.P

Where is the hat lmao

+Redmanb11_87 Apple.RAR.? Ehm ok. School Bar = A virtual File Archive named Apple. Seems legit

Apple.rar is compressed apples I guess.

Redmanb11_87 Higly Concentrated Apple Juice i guess!

+Redmanb11_87 laaaaaame

u wot m8?

Why hasn't it happened yet

Baking bread

Get out.

ceiling_carpet in guessing they eat a lot in breaking bread.... Budum tsh

​ @digdigdigman nope this time it's certainly breaking

Beats us in the UK, we've only got 3 and a half..

+Jack Slaughter 40 something of our states are shit to live in you have to practically go out to the middle of no where to enjoy "american freedom"

+Jonathan Hughes No joke!

+jglitch0 I know right... Out in the middle of no where usa nothing to worry about at all.

+Jonathan Hughes I thought that, came to the comments, and saw you already put it here. It literally is almost exactly what it is, a bunch of states laws, with a few federal laws to tie everything together.

Quick Attack Films I thought half a litre is the beer can size all over the world.

***** Nah, here in the US, it's 335 ml.

Quick Attack Films we dont even have those size i dont think i was also thinking that as i knew that the us cans where a lot smaller but i just guessed you also had the bigger one to buy also

setogod We have half-litre cans (actually 16 ounces which is about 0.48L) which are available single or in packs of 4, but the standard is 12 ounce (or 0.33L). Which is confusing because everything else we eat and drink is massive, but our beers are small.

Bethesda in a nutshell

Turtles in a half shell

@@zombieneith7 turtle power

What, the DAAAAAN, Bread and not the double dragon oven incident

It actually says watch thè video before commenting

yeah sorry said to myself "oh shit people gonna come down on me for that now..."

No, Carlos "Joke Thief" Mencia is. Larry the Cable Guy is second.

The .Reaper Well, I've heard of him. It seems that I am lucky not to have.

The .Reaper Good lord.....=/

what doesn't every one keep board games in their ovens and put computers and phones in their washing machine?

Alfie Sinden I don't. No way would I destroy my Macs in the washing machine. I'd happily put some Windows Vista computers in the washing machines though.

stephthestar90 i'd gladly ruin an uncustomizable, easily-breakable mac in a washing machine, i'd rather not sacrifice a glorious, solid, customizable windows 7 PC.

John Egbert Macs are not easily breakable! They're great computers. And yes Macs run Windows as well. Mine is a dual boot setup which runs both OSX and Windows. I use Windows for games and the Mac OS for everything else.

KrankuEDM justifying their purchases as they probably bought it on a whim.

no, that was the vodka

But how well does it crystallise?

Thanks you fucking nerd xD

So is it a monosacharride or a disacharride?

I don't think anyone happened to be wondering, but thank you none the less.

I was.

Believe it or not there are countries outside the US! :)

nobody outside the United States of Ass know him.

Mr Funreal in case you hadn't noticed, my comment was sarcastic, hence the "I envy you" appended to the end.

BenjaminGoose Anything for an excuse to bring up America vs. Country X on an ashens video. :l

TheArnoldification It never gets old. XD

In the UK you have to be 18 to buy alcohol but there is no age restriction to drink as long as an adult is with you.

On Malta you have to be 16 to buy alcohol. They won't sell you every type of booze, though, there are some restrictions on the percentage of the spirits.

+DonpatchXD But it's illegal to supply an under 18 with alcohol so it's impossible for an under 18 to drink alcohol without at least one person breaking the law.

Google "UK Drinking laws"

Lmgtfy: It is not illegal: For someone over 18 to buy a child over 16 beer, wine or cider if they are eating a table meal together in licensed premises. For a child aged five to 16 to drink alcohol at home or on other private premises.

nakedmongoose123 US might as well be considered a sovereign state of 50 countries.

Especially after what Trump has done to the place. Utter disgrace.

I wouldn't say 50 though. It's like maybe 15-20. Regions are similar, and then the cities.

@@looksirdroids9134 TDS

Ashens did

Bachelors who grew up in the 80s

As long as it's in your own house, you are allowed to drink from the age of 5 in Britain. Yes, literally 5.

Private Cocky wow o.o

Private Cocky Under parental supervisions. The age for being allowed to try alcohol in Australia under parental supervision is 11. There are restrictions of course.

***** Its actually funny "You can own a Bazooka at age 16 but don't drink Beer!" America Priorities....

***** There was no legal drinking age when I visited Vietnam 3 years ago.

Isaac Russell yes

Correct

Sadly yes.

"Popular in the media but not with the public" I can only think of Blobby. *Shivers*

He's also a stand-up comedian (at least I think he still does that)

That size of beer can is readily available here in the States.

@Jason Lee lmao, it could easily be just the case that that person may legitimate just drinks bottles.

Those beer sizes are incredibly common in the USA.

​@@md_vandenbergYeah, but the common one is about ⅔ that size. You have to specify the Tallboy cans in the US.

knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-understood-that-reference

Old memes die hard

Waffles!!!!

50 very samey countries with the same president, same language, same sports teams, mostly similar laws, same media, same holidays etc

@@Blakbox92 euro detected

ChickenPika it's a character

ChickenPika He's doing it for the people that live in Kentucky. Hickok45 ref :D

The joke is haha white working class people. Larry The Cable Guy is making fun of the stereotypes. The fact you are taking it seriously, and acting as if it’s not ironic, makes you seem epically foolish.

***** your point? he's still shit.

the always hated Friedberg & Seltzer of disaster movie, vampires suck (etc) provide entertainment for knuckledragging trogdolytes and make a profit. by your original logic, we should one day see them win an oscar. There's a market for everything, and neat niche for the rest. does it say anything about the quality? ofc not.

***** How does ''getting paid a lot'' make him less of a shitty comedian? Kristen Stewart was paid millions for Twilight but that doesn't make her any less of a shitty actress.

***** Or the other possibility... that Larry gives you an erection. Given how hard you are defending a man you have never met I'm inclined to think so. Also i note that you didn't actually try to refute my claim about Stewart.

might aswell end this thread because nothing makes him funny and now you're all just being silly

*WHY NOT?!*

*WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!*

PENIS

Vengeful Many how do you comment yell? i cant get it to go bold type.

Ferrules & Rapscallions *thank you*

And you ruined the joke

+Extremely Moist lmao

TisIKingLlywy that actually sounds nice as hell

A good loaded baked potato makes me Extremely Moist

all things that should never touch mashed potato. the only thing i like in mashed potato is garlic

***** Thailand, the age is 21. Changed it a few years back. A shame, since I'm visiting in January.

Rk9Productions! *Bracing for crinkling intensifies*

DragonRex20 [NUCLEAR CRINKLING]

Rk9Productions! [Afterlife crinkling intensifies]

*****

+Stalkus Maximus There are still after-crinkles echoing every couple of days....

Probably, but let us have our fun bashing Larry the Cable guy's shitty products.

Ferrum Perhaps beer bread is supposed to be good but larry's is not.

Ferrum Beer is delicious, especially well made micro brews. Budweiser, Coors, Pabst and others are cheap and taste watery and bitter to me.

As long as you don't make it with mich ultra you should be fine. also K4RN4GE911 you do realize that 80 proof is only 40% alcohol? Many rums, whiskeys and burbons are 80 proof. That's not gasoline, as many of them are quite nice.

***** Yeah, I guess I was being a bit broad there. My point is that each state in the United States views itself (or at least did while the Articles of Confederation was still the governing document, and some do even to this day) as a separate, sovereign entity. We're not so much a unified country as a begrudging extended family of countries that don't really get along in either House in Congress.

Will Smith shakspire

Well, after being defeated he decides to smash the rest of the stolen Pokemon into a paste, and here we are.

well, they gotta eat something, and I haven't seen anything besides humans and pokemon in that world...

How can you not know.

My grammar skills, I ask a question but end the question with a period.

daniel gigs Just because a comedian or celebrity is known in one country doesn't necessarily mean he/she is known in other countries.

I wish I didn't..... =(

Sorry, I forgot sarcasm can't be noticed by text ( even tho I hate sig sarcasm via text) I only found out about him because my dad showed me some Stan up he does. He isn't that great, but it isn't bad.

they do, they do...

rabbid frosties he did indeed

It's the Oven Double Dragon for me.

Fairly certain it's 18 to own a firearm, at least where I live in Arizona I'm not legally allowed to say my gun is mine since I'm 17, so my uncle owns it for now, Arizona is largely considered the freest state for gun ownership. I know for a fact it's 16 to drive a car, 15 for a permit to learn to drive, you have to have someone in the car with you at 15.

BenjaminGoose I know, you can throw yourself into a situation of extreme stress and possibly get yourself killed in the military. But drinking until 21, FUCK NO! America thinks your a goddamned communist if you drink below the age of 21.

18 to buy a rifle, 21 for a handgun. You can own one younger.

I always wondered why the fuck it's 21 for a handgun.

+plzwork100 So you can drink AND operate Handguns.

I've just done this, like what the hell covid was known back when, we've been lied to for many years haha

@@andrewdalton99 I mean, technically covid is an acronym for Corona Virus Disease. Many common colds are just different strains of covid, the one from 2019 was just particularly virulent

@@NecnonNefas because it was novel, sure the symptoms arent that different from a normal flu but the virus and its RNA structure was brand spanking new to our immune systems (and its ability to be spreadable from person to person despite people being asymptomatic, AND sometimes not showing signs until 5-7 days after getting it only made it worse)

I'm not disgusted.

Yeah, I don't know why so many RU-vidrs make so much fuss about eating noises.

‎( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I think they're pleasing to listen to. Just not Ashen's trademark lip smacking.

Caxxatron Yeah, that makes me cringe xD

same with me and dane cook, used to think he was funny, now i've moved on to gabriel iglasias, jeff dunham, and kevin hart

same now i watch tosh standup

Bo Burnham is kind of shit though.

MrMushasii I disagree. I find his musical stand up material a nice change of pace from the standard ways of stand-up. I also think that all of his songs that mock the different aspects of life like country music, extremism in religion and selling out to be on point and witty.

I have that feeling at some of the parts in his show, but then it's all gone because he forces himself to throw in a "lol so random"-comment that ruins the entire part. I'm used to musical stand-up (stand-up includes cabaret here in the Netherlands and usually includes songs) and his songs are pretty good, but even in the songs there seems to be a forced component of "lol so random". It's not that "lol so random" can't be funny, it just feels very forced in his shows, pre-written (which ofcourse it is, but it shouldn't feel like that).

***** ouo

There are dog beachs and sex can happen in the little shacks and people dispose of them on the beach

Near .N Still doesnt explain why there's dog shit on the condom :3c

Izzeh Greywolf freaky shit

Near .N -:3c

Rebecca Johnson the legal drinking age is in the UK is 18, but a lot of people start younger. It really only effects when you can buy it yourself

It's 16 in Finland, for regular beer.

I started drinking beer when I was a 17-year-old college freshman, but I didn't buy it myself.

I grew up drinking beer instead of breast milk

+Moon Sugar No it's not. You're probably thinking of Denmark or certain parts of Germany. It's 18 for up to 21% and 20 for over it.

Posh Weevil well you can own a handgun at 18. It just has to be a private transaction. You have to be 21 to purchase a handgun from an FFL.

I know its 21 to buy pistol ammo and 18 to buy shotgun/rifle ammo aswell

Posh Weevil 21 to buy pistol ammo is a Walmart policy. I can go anywhere but Walmart and buy .25 ACP or .357 magnum/.38 Special.

Its also a Cabela's policy

Alex Neumeister Academy too. Always found the age restriction for pistol ammo weird... you would only buy it if you already own one or can use one. Like trying to buy a bottle opener that's specifically made for beer (yeah not realistic but it's a thought experiment) is illegal if you're ubder 21. I mean you'd already have some access to the beer so why are the accessories that are nigh-useless on their own restricted?

**hugs**

It's true, we have a lot of interns from Europe and they are all 18 in their gap year and are stunned when they can't drink here.

Markxxx Strange, I remember joking about the fact when I was 16 or so. For some reason, everyone around me knew about it (I'm from austria)

DOSRetroGamer Well, almost in every part of the world Drinking age is 18

Why would he know what the drinking age is in a country thousands of miles from where he lives?

Because it's the U.S. and its culture is omnipotent in most of Europe?

Riles07 I agree, actually I think the majority of Americans think of the UK is cool. I hardly ever meet a person who doesn't like the UK. :( We're not that bad.

Riles07 I live in America. I'm not English.

Riles07 where do you go in the uk because its made up of 4 countries

ok i live in scotland so im no going to go super saiyan on yo ass

Compared to many other countries, its a wonderful place. Sadly you're too ignorant to understand.