Style Therapy: The Problem with Polished 

I get it! When I first saw this video I was like Hmm we should all look polished, there shouldn't be a problem with it. I now understand that the problem isn't the style, it's the expectations of what that means. In my head, I see polished as looking presentable, which you described.

This reminds me of a book called The Happiness Effect. It's all about how people are killing themselves trying to look happy on Facebook but it's really making them miserable

This made me subscribe. I also would like to add that you don’t need to break the bank to look good. You don’t need to have Chanel, Prada, Valentino to look put together or impressive. Any nicely made and decent quality clothes will do.

I like this a lot. Your point about hair and make up is on point.

Very true, thank u

You aren't going to be airbrushed with perfect lighting all the time. You aren't followed by an entourage like the ladies in the red carpet. Just put your outfit together, make sure your lipstick isn't on your teeth, and remove the cat hair before going out

Love xx

Looking polished is what kinda look? Looking perfect is boring! A little quirky element, you can’t be “polished”, living a real life 🤦🏿‍♀️. Listen to Lauren’s advice!!

Very off putting. I couldn't imagine people would want to work with you based on how you come across in your videos. I'm sure you are very lovely in person.

Thanks Lauren! I deal with the polished dilemma. My sister says I always look put together, however I find myself putting pressure on myself to look editorial. Life is not a magazine shoot or Instagram feed. I think my background in fashion industry has a lot to play on that pressure. The funny thing is I don’t do it to others, I’m just hard on my on image and how I project my style. Thanks for another wonderful motivational video 😊

Great video! No one has time for perfectionism. It's a buzz kill.

I know what you mean, Lauren. I love the way I look with a coat or jacket draped over my shoulders. But that's not practical all the time. Sometimes I need to wear the coat because it's freezing outside. And sometimes, I need to be able to lift my arms without a draped coat falling off my shoulders.

Basically we are all programmed to constantly look like a walking Instagram image, like you said it’s not reality

I think your clients may not be happy with the outfit that is under their coats, they should look and feel polished when they take that coat off as that is the real outfit.

The even more difficult pill to swallow is that most of us aren't models. We simply aren't going to look as chic and effortlessly put together as they do, even if we're wearing the exact same thing.

Right! Just another example of how we feel the need to compete with photoshopped instagram shots! In addition to thigh gap, we now feel pressure to carry our puse all day at work to "complete the outfit" Great video!

Im french we are NOT polished

I think "polished and put together" can be defined in numbers...the number of articles. Those looks are just as you explained layers of pieces. Just like in great interior design when you see a grouping of 3 or 5 it looks better more balance than having just one. So in our minds eye, when you begin to remove those elements, or in this example numbers you may feel lacking in what remains. We need to focus on the base or basics and appreciate those elements for getting us to the greater finished product which is polished one. Every one element is as important as the last. : ) Really appreciated your expression of frustration in hopes of getting the point across. Well done! I got it! Mastering the sleeve roll, or the shirt tuck, or use of one accessory, can speak a lot in only one number, however. We need to be as comfortable in one piece as we are in 5. After all, Five easy pieces is just a movie title. : )

I think that shoes and your bag is the main point. You can bring some simple jeans and a white blouse, but with some beautiful sandals or skilletos, but with high heels, it makes a lot of difference. Also a scarf, are things that you do not take away, also jewelry accessories. I consider that the personality of the person says a lot

Very affirming! So true, we can be so hard on ourselves!!! Thank you Lauren!!!

Love this video. We need to remember how many stylists it takes to make an image. We live in the real world, not a magazine or pinterest/instagram. 💚💙💜

OMG Lauren your hairstyle is perfect.. you look amazing..

so excited for pinterest vs real life! more therapy videos too! my problem with polished is feeling too nice for the neighborhood i'm in, but when i get to the city i'm on par(-ish). how should one be polished without getting jumped?

Looking frwd to the pinterest slash reality video. I like a lot of the distressed denim looks and ofcourse the heels look great on the women but honestly, it just doesn't seem real to me to wear that often as it is just uncomfortable. I tend to grab my cute slip on sneaks, but then I feel a mess. There has got to be a happy medium. It's like I am trying to fit into these casual but put together distressed denim looks but then I feel like a walking pinterest board. Ugh!

As someone who grew up counting my pennies, I have focused on "the clothes" more than the items that finish an outfit. Mainly because I didn't have the cash for the extras. Now I focus on the little things that finish an outfit. The cool earrings, the necklace and the sunglasses! It really is the little things... Love the new hair Lauren

Polished, for me , is a moment, not an all day thing. What I have on in the moment that I step out usually is polished, but by the end of the day those super-cool earring had to go 30 minutes into the phone call that lasted an hour, and the gorgeous blazer (or pretty fluttery blouse got abandoned or amended with a sweater when the demon that controls the AC at my office lost it's mind.

I love the Hermes painting behind you. 💜 Where did you get it?

Thank you Lauren for this video. Women need to understand it's wonderful to love real life, not fake life on pictures, movies nor magazines. Real life, the one you can really enjoy is yourself! !!

The "Perfectionism Gene..." Girl! You are so tapped into the thoughts and feelings so many of us are going through. I'm takin' my unfashionable butt to Style University! Thanks, Lauren!

Yes!! Hahaha “Because I’m a real human...” lol I love this!

Must be nice to live in a place where you don’t have to breathe in cigarette poison daily.

Soo right! We should worry less and live more.

So so TRUE! Why women aspire to look like the Kardashians 24/7 is a media driven unrealistic concept that doesn’t reflect real women’s lives at all. Instagram and Pinterest are JUST PHOTOS! Pretty snapshots of someone’s outfit, doesn’t show cleaning up baby poop or fixing a blocked sink!! Thanks for this wonderfully refreshing video. 🛠🔩🛀📸😂🤣

After editing and such these days in videos and photos, you make a great point. Perfection does not exist. I'm convinced that several women have that mental condition where they see something different in the mirror, myself included. Let's go a lil easier on ourselves. Thanks to the media, many are disillusioned as to what a woman looks like. It's tougher to be a woman in 2018. Standards of beauty are increasing as my tolerance for it is decreasing 😂

Thank you for always keeping it real with the reality check.

Thank you Lauren for talking about self care and just not being lazy. Not that I’m not sometimes lazy! Lol! But Has no one seen people trying to get the perfect picture for their IG or Facebook account? They take pictures in different ridiculous poses for a half hour. It’s comical. That is the image they want to portray, but whoever saw them trying so hard to get the picture knows that it was not their real self. Just make sure your clothes fit well, your hair and makeup dont look like you just rolled out of bed, you have some pretty jewelry on amd you’re done. that is real life and perfectly polished.

To look polished would be accessorizing and wearing the shoes that compliment your outfit but most importantly is HYGiENE. Clean hair and well brushed.

I guess this video wasn't for me because the polished look I'm going for I see On living breathing people walking into my work every week. They look sharp, clean, outfit on point, and effortless. There's no guarantee the pristine they emanate comes from deep inside, but it sure looks like it does! Not high class, money or trend, just straight solid class.

Polished means TAILORED... clean clothes that fits your body well, basically clothes that look like they were made just for you

you look so beautiful and super super feminine....

Hello Lauren, I came upon your video on "The Problem with Polished". I too have asked that question to myself many times and I believe to have found the answer to that question. Now, many people can be "Put together and Polished" even if they put on a sack of potatoes as a fashion trend. I'm not going against your word on having others get accessories, shoes or anything else for that matter, but anyone that has this one particular "gift" can be acquired to be "Put together and Polished" (PT & P). Bear with me, because this is how I found out what was needed to be "PT & P". As I was resting on an outside seat at the mall, near an upscale department store, I started to people watch. Many types came and went dressed as they thought would be appropriate, as this particular woman with long brown hair went inside the department store in a bikini bra with the torn jeans look and stilettos. Other people who saw her, were commenting on how horribly dressed she was etc, etc. which those comments will not appear here on your vlog comments. One huge difference that I noticed on the bikini bra lady that I couldn't see in many others was that she was in many ways "Pt & P". What was it? She had "Poise and confidence". That, made her standout more than her way of dress. So, in my humble opinion, poise and confidence, have to do so much in making a person be "Put together and Polished". The bikini lady was "PT & P" in so many ways, and I believe that if she went in with a towel wrapped around her, she would make the towel standout reeking in Polished. Many people don't care or don't know what it is to be poised. Those that do, have the advantage. So, next time you see a person all put together and polished, check out their poise. P.s. I'm now a new subscriber to your channel.

Finally I found a classy channel. I am extremely tired of looking for plus size fashion and tips, only finding streetwear and kind of sleazy outfit and bad advise. HUGE Thank you.

Pinterest life vs real life 😩😍😍😍😍 omg perfect❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Love your hair. You are so beautiful. Have to say tho, that oversized top does you no favors. You are so much better than that

i think ur best hair style ever its you and make ur features look their best which is attractive, and a sharp looking girl who knows her stuff

I want to look polished that’s how I found you on RU-vid.

Looking polished dressing up or down could be achievable with the right outfit.

Hi Lauren, can we please see your entire outfit in the videos. Can we get a full shot and then a close in and then half short. We tune in to see what you are wearing

If your hair & grooming are on point, this goes some way to helping you look polished.

it's quite sad that we can't separate marketing from reality.

I just want to be Meghan Markle.

Yes. Polished typically just means 'way better than the other women'.

LOL @ rolling in nickels...

Thank you Lauren! ❤️ This definitely hit home.

I got it... KELIS! I think longer hair is a better look. Shorter ages you too much. Great video.

I am so glad I found this video. Everything you said makes complete sense! Subscribing!

steam your clothes and focus on personal hygiene

Great video! Internet images on IG and Pinterest are often _staged_ and _not real._

Social media is F***ing us up.

Wow, that is super true! ☺ I always think I don't look "polished" because my hair is curly and I can never deal with it. what that means, is that I can't stand it on my face after about 2 hrs and I pull it up and hold it with a pen, baby hairs coming out from everywhere. 😳 the other thing are my shoes. I can't never use nice feminine shoes. I always have bulky...steel toe shoes, because of work...with dress pants.

super helpful points in this video - thanks so much! Often I feel 'polished' because of how I'm feeling internally (attitude); but what you said about a necklace, or your make-up on point - yes, that does amp it up.

My name is Linda E I'm so happy I found you. I love your opinion on looking polished. I try my best, my problem is I have to walk with a cane I am now 63 had a bad surgery. in 2010. So I put a cute scarf on my cane. I need some ideas on looking casual nice Style. Also I don't use a computer. I don't mean to sound terrible about asking but I love to get free things how do I do that ? Thank you looking forward to seeing more of your tutorials

Love your honesty! Another problem with your whole wardrobe designed to be polished is when you need to run out for grocery shopping before taking a shower, you literally don't find anything non polished outfit 😓

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

We as women tend to dress for other women's approval and not for ourselves or even our mates,we do not wear outfits that we like and feel comfortable in,once we get past this notion we will not care what others think and be happier and not full of anxiety.Great Vid.!,,

I can't get over how much Lauren Messiah and Vani Hari (The Food Babe) resemble each other. Uncanny.

Thank you so much for this video Lauren! I'm getting my personal style together and this really helped me think realistically. Love all of your video! ~Jada

I’m guessing you no longer wear that blouse. It makes your head look super tiny and your shoulders huge. You are usually spot on, lovely lady.

Respect! To find a video like this so real has earned my admiration ! You've got a new subscriber

Great info Lauren! I haven't watched your vlogs for a while. I love your hair cut and point of view. Thank you!!!

Great video! Where did you get that amazing Hermès sign? ❤️

I think when people say that theyre referring to the look of well cut and tailored clothes for their body.

Great video and so true!! Thanks for the perspective! YOU ROCK👍👍👍💯

You made some really good points, but it would have been more helpful if you also gave us a few tips on how to add polish to an outfit other than just adding a coat.

Thank you for this video, I get so stressed and anxious because I don’t feel perfect like the girls on Pinterest, I have to realise I’m human 🤗

Waste of time.

I needed this

LOL!! Lauren, your PSU really works!!! Maybe a little too well, haaa!!!!! TFS!!

I'm just happy to get my clothes on BEFORE I leave the house lol.

Girlll! You are so keeping it real! I love it; we need to get back in touch with reality🖤🖤

Wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear, thanks for the awesome style and life advice! 💜

Got it.

Love,love your videos but,wish you would illustrate pictures.

Thank you so much for this video. I truly needed this ♥️

In other words they want to look like a picture.

I’ve loved your videos for so long and I know exactly what you mean!!! This is so useful

Thank you Lauren! I love your vids. New subscriber here!!

Totally agree with you. I think it’s better to feel confortable with what you wear

To me polished means to look clean and fresh, period.

Omg I say this alllllllll the time 'i want to look polished' lol!

Thanks - and so reassuring. Hope that I can keep this in mind.

Lauren... absolutely natural b creative b beautiful b you

That message NEEDED to be said. Thank you.

Great message. Thank you

Love the hair cut, really dope.

thank you so much LAUREN...

Im i the only one who hates the polished look : D

have you read brené brown's book on shame? you just completely dissected it.

Love your tough love talks. Lol

So true! Awesome video💕