Watch Michael's stand up comedy special Showman, streaming now on Netflix! www.netflix.com/title/8125897... . Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/ Facebook: / themichaelmcintyre Twitter: @McInTweet
I’m a combo of a total panicker and a dodger. Whenever a wasp enters my vicinity a literally do about 20 laps of my back garden looking like a total loonatic dodging under invisible branches like I’m in the matrix😅😅
I am a stay stiller, until it clearly doesn’t want to leave me alone, then I start dodging it. Once accomplished that I run away. No panicking, just leave the spot where it has been interested in me at.
I'm british american. Born and raised in america but my parents are british..I love michael, he makes me laugh every time. I hope you come to america Michael so I can watch your show in person..come to california michael..
The great thing about his stories is that as a parent it makes you realise that just your kids are not actually the spawn of Satan, everyone else's kids are obviously exactly the same as yours :-)
I suggest searching up Montessori at home seriously worthhhhh it aaahh i couldn't imagine trying to parent this way i would end up shouting at punishing all the time if i didn't find out about Montessori in time
Sam Watts I am watching now 23 September at 13.50 pm and I am on my 4th programme. Laughing out loud, the Dubai sketch was hilarious, The Pool sketch even more so and now Bees and Wasps. He is so good.
I have a 5 second threshold of increasingly nervous wafting, followed by silent but agile panicking. I reserve the vocal, unreserved panicking for when I am trapped indoors.
Michael: You're not trying to hit it, you're just gonna move the air near you. And you'll know this is an area where you aren't particularly welcome. Me: Oh. I use that strategy for people instead of wasps and bees
I, a wafter, recently chatted with a stay-stiller during a hike. I made this observation when an insect landed on me. Dude was like, DON'T. MOVE. I was like "What? Is there a snake? ... Oh, it's just a carpenter bee." I'm a wafting entomologist. I'm pretty sure, if it had landed on the other guy he'd have morphed into a Total Panicker immediately.
Definitely the best comedian there is !! Everything he says is so true! Love the part about the bees and wasps, I’m a total panicker, and this is so relatable 😂
My young grandsons kept running in screaming bee's were following them (warm January day in North West USA). One bee came inside and when I put my hand out and let the bee climb on to be escorted outside the boys faces were priceless. They thought I was going to die right there and then
The wasp story gave me a flashback of what happened at school when I was in 2nd grade. (True story) A wasp or hornet landed on the face of the kid sitting next to me. All the kids laughed or screamed. (Mixed reactions) The Teacher was watching and quickly said to him "Don't move...Just stay still and it won't hurt you." The poor kid sat perfectly still but terrified as the wasp took its time... crawling all over his little face. After about 30 seconds it crawled into one of his nostrils. Now everybody was screaming...including me. The poor kid starting clawing at his face as the wasp stung him in his sinus cavity. Teachers had to drag him out of the room kicking and screaming. They rushed him to the hospital but they never told the rest of us what happened to him. He never returned to school. We never knew if he died...or if his family just took him out of school. Maybe they moved after he recovered? That day changed me, and made me afraid of all bee's for the rest of my life. Imagine what the kid went through?
You could look through the local paper archives for that year for obituaries or search history name and the area. That's an alarming story. Either way, not telling the kids what happened was a terrible way to handle that
I am a stay stiller for bees. Best strategy for them. Even if they land on me I don't panic, they won't sting me because if they do they die. WASPS tho, they are bastards. They sting anything and everything. Doesn't matter if you stay still or not, they will sting you. So, I look for the closest exit and escape. If there is no exit currently available, I stay still and try and get the attention of a nearby wafter. They will waft it away leaving me free to promptly thank them and leave the room. I dub this, the best method. After all i have never been stung.
Alexandra Moss wafting is probably the best strategy because if you stay still and get stung once. It releases a pheromone that will get the others to sting also. That’s not fun
@@Menarecuteaaa Ha! Wow, that is unfortunate. I'd be extremely pissed, if I were going to be stung, I'd at least like the opportunity to kill the bugger myself for revenge.
I found out that the reason they want the blinds up, is in case there is an accident, emergency personnel will be able to see if people are alive, conscious etc, Michael is hilarious !!
When your allergic to bees and wasps you become a panicker and also sometimes a stay stiller 😂 I’m absolutely petrified of bees and wasps because I’m allergic. I didn’t mind them before I found out i was allergic
I have that Mother hearing. When you hear your child yell and you know it's play or pain. My poor baby girl got biten by a paper wasp and I knew what had happened straight away. Bees are fine, just move away slowly. Paper wasps are another story. A quick yet silent fleeing is the best technique. Thank you again and take care of yourself, Mate
@@JB-vd8bi I'm so sorry for you. They are bloody painful stings. My poor baby girl went down a slide at a public pool and got stung multiple times because there was a nest just under the edge. Her fingers just brushed passed them and out they flew. I just ran when I heard the scream. It was not a happy birthday party scream. The beauty of living in Australia XD Take care of yourself, Mate
I must admit I am a waffder, never been stung, never upgraded to total panicker. A past male friend of mine, may he RIP. 6ft 2", 16 stone, backed me up in a couple of bar fights. Surprised the hell out of me, he was a total panicker. I could not believe it, you would have thought someone was shooting bullets at him. I don't know whether it was a wasp or a bee, but as far as my friend was concerned it was a KILLER!
My friend is that 1 impossible child. She’s really well behaved, does what she’s told, prefers fruit and veg over sugary or salty foods. She’ll go to be earlier than most kids our age and showers almost everyday. Damn, maybe I’m just imagining my opposite self.
Without a doubt one of the funniest men on the planet, and he can do this without getting himself in trouble with "any" woke or minority group. Just soooo good. Cheers and thank s. This crazy world needs people such as he to lighten up and de stress, for a while at least.
The leaving the house situation - absolutely acurate, apart from the brother, who will instandly start to cry, when we shout up the stairs that we're leaving without his twin, whereas the older child is immediately on it's way to the car.
You forgot the 4th one. The "bee and wasp friend". I went from being the total panicker, to stay stiller, to the friend in a single day, despite having been stung badly 5 times in my life. A trial by fire really.
This skit reminds me of a story my grandmother and these days mother, every time the temperature goes over 30, used to tell about my grandmothers grandmother and her sister. Sitting in the shade of a fruit tree, probably apples, wasps crawling all over their faces as they babbled away for hours. My mother asked how they could ignore the wasps that easily. Their answer? "What wasps?"
I sent this to my niece who has two little girls. She called laughing her head off and said, "He knows exactly what my life is like". She was having a tough time and it was good to get her to laugh.
In P.E I once got stung by a bee and some girl in my class screamed.I just stood there. Then I just went:...ow Then I got to miss P.E for the rest of the day😎✌️
Just in case anyone is interested, the blinds is for emergency workers in case of a crash or accident. The emergency worker can look into the plane to see if anyone is passed out in their seat.
Nothing to fear but fear itself. My Mother was petrified of Bees and Wasps. I remember one outing to the local outdoor swimming pool. My Mum, bare footed started jumping around screaming "I've been stung. I've been stung" Panicing jumping around looking on the ground for the culprit. She found she'd trod on a lit cigarette butt.. Her foot, apparently, didn't hurt any more.
I am here to tell you all that I was a very obedient child when I was young. Except for the occasional front flips from the stairs or attempting to jump off a one-story building, I was completely tame.
It’s actually a matter of safety that the blinds are open. If something goes wrong, you want your eyes to be adjusted to exterior lighting conditions in the event of evacuation. Also the flight crew can see if anything goes wrong before the captain notices. Emergency services also need the blinds to be open in case there’s a fire. With closed blinds, they can’t see that
I was at my grandmas house. I had a fruit squash on a table a wasp flew near it. I’m usually a wafter...but this one kept coming back so I slowly became a total panicker and ran into the kitchen.
At--13:43-- They want the blinds up on an airplane because each window has a very tiney hole at the bottom in the 1st layer of glass and when taking off it helps with the air pressure & windows. IF...I remember right it helps so the pressure doesn't build up and explode the windows off. Or something like that.
I believe they require all blinds to be up during taxing, takeoff and landing to allow for eye brightness adjustment in the event of an emergency. This prevents sitting in a dark cabin and then being required to adjust eyes while running to safety from a possibly burning, soon exlpoding, aircraft.
unfortunately me panicing got me stung, well. It was pretty much because after panicing I thought the wasp had gone since I saw it fly away. But it decided to fly behind me and crawl up my shirt =w=
