I have never understood why wearing a skirt was more modest than pants, and I grew up when they finally allowed girls to wear pantsuits to school. It’s harder to assault someone in pants than a skirt
Your last sentence explains it. It's harder to assault someone in pants than in a skirt. Hence, no pants for women. You have explained it quite clearly for someone who doesn't understand it lol
@@lisapegg3595 That depends on how the pants are constructed and what one wears over them. But no matter what people wear, offenders offend. SA has to do with control and power and not actual lust.
Yeah my grandfather was in the ifb so therefore my mother was but my mom was pretty much getting out of it by the time I was in 6th grade and when I did finally get to go to school I can't believe how far behind I was it's insane to know that I didn't know my times tables and I didn't feel that I could trust what I was seeing in a book as in I don't know if I was reading something correctly I know that sounds kind of strange. Doctors are there for a reason and because I was the bad egg my sister's got their eyes fixed and I didn't so I have grown up with seizures my entire life in my eyes my sisters have not because I was punished for a boy that pushed me and I turned around and I broke his nose
I raised up my children without spanking. I was criticized for it but I just couldn’t hit my kids. They are good humans who are doing well in life and more importantly, we are close. I love them with all my heart!
I cannot imagine physically inflicting pain on my babies. They are my heart and soul. I was spanked (a lot) as a child and I feel as though it's negatively impacted my relationship with my parents big time. They told me it was "because they loved me" ...like what? No child should have to experience that extreme cortisol spike in their brain as their parent (who claims they love them oh so much) beats the brakes off them with a spoon, spatulas, or glue sticks.
Yes. I didn’t spank mine. They both grew up to be kind people who are making a difference in other people’s lives. They have also given us four beautiful grandkids. All without church or spanking or fear.
Thank you for not being an unsafe parent. I was smacked hard with wooden spoons and I didn't care about the physical pain. I simply dissociated. But I never forgot the incredible rage on my father's face as he did it. That's terrible for a child. You were right to go with your instincts. They are your kids and you know them and are responsible for their safe development, their bodies. You were right and the naysayers were off the charts wrong. I'm glad they have you, it is healing to read that.
@@merulaamethyst2248 Yup. My dad spanked us, but my mother was an actual sadist. I know the smirk of which you speak. I'm so sorry you know that. It's been so hard. Solidarity!
“Your brain gets sick too. It would be weird if it didn’t, it’s part of your body” 😭❤I needed that. “It would be weird if it didn’t” So insightful and perfectly said. Thank you, Oceana.
Sitting here literally rolling my eyes over the rules at the beginning. SO ridiculous! 🙄 I remember going out on a date once with a Baptist seminary student. He was offended because I wore pants on our date. I just laughed lat him! 😂 I found out later he allegedly tried to rape his fiance' who broke up with him prior to us meeting. 😱 Oceana, (that's a beautiful name) - glad you and your family made it out! The IBLT is quite a horror show! (For lack of a better term. )
I worked at a Starbucks in Hinsdale, IL when I was 19, so about 2004. This was near the IBLP headquarters. Every so often a group of the girls from “the headquarters” would come in. Always like 6 at a time and with an older woman as a chaperone. Always a different group of girls, but they all looked eerily the same. These girls were all dressed very modestly with skirts down to the floor and had looks on their faces as if they had never been inside a coffee shop before. Usually the chaperone would order for the girls because they either didn’t know how or were too shy to. The other people who had worked there for longer than I had referred to these girls as the “cult girls”. 2 of these coworkers were JWs and still thought this cult was weird. It always made me sad to see them, and now knowing what we all know, it makes me even sadder.
I live in the area too. And I had a friend who said one of the girls was her babysitter as a child way back when. And one of my teachers in 3rd grade was a member. We always thought it was strange that she wore these weird clothes (best I can describe it was long dresses with high colors long sleeves and lace.) I used to go to Oak Brook Farms and see the girls wearing prairie dresses walking around the pond. And I once saw a big gathering where lots of teens and younger people were playing volleyball outside the big building. And often there were lights on in the little tack housing with car ports and occasionally cars. Someone at Oak Brook farms told me they were trying to buy up a lot of the property in the area in the 80’s. I thought they were so odd.
Just hearing “The Umbrella of Authority” doctrine gave me an actual physical dose of anxiety! Such a sick cult. My ex husband loved how much power it gave him! So our home became a cult in and of itself 🤢
@@silmuffin86 19 years this August! Best thing I ever did for my six children❤️👍🏼💯 I will say that the CPTSD has been a monster to wrestle with ever since. But my now adult children are doing so well! I am so grateful for that 💯👍🏼
From one woman to another I just want to say that that both these women project radiance through the screen and I hate that our culture ever made them feel like anything less than the radiant, beautiful, and powerful souls that they are!
We weren't in IBLP, but our little independent church was very much like it. My brother attempted to off himself and my parents still refused therapy and medication. He didn't actually get help until the next year when he turned 18 and could make his own medical decisions.
We tried to give church a chance up until the day when the pastors wife told me I needed to carry a wooden spoon in my purse to discipline my toddler with because he was acting like a regular toddler not a little robot. She was lucky I didn't bring that spoon to beat her with. We just never went back and made up our mind to not teach our son any specific religion and let him make up his own mind.
I was SA by my step father at six. My mom could have cared less when I told her. She blamed me, called me a liar, She deprived me of sleep until I said it didn't happen. She broke me. Sent me to school without sleep, the first grade. I remember as a little girl being out at stores, grown men winked at me a lot. I was triggered by that. Now I believe there are so many men in the world that SA. I believe it's a boys club attitude. They protect each other. Also it is in all walks of life. I won't go to a church, any church because they protect the perp. It's a boys club.You never know what's what's really going on behind all these perfectly mowed lawns. I never hit my kids either. Why not just talk to your kids? It worked for me.
How horrible. I am so sorry you had to go thru that. I grew up in a very small community and honestly it was sort of a Mayberry USA. I never knew these type of things could ever go on until I was grown and I am still shocked by all of these type of stories. And horrified by humanity. Hugs to you.
I am so sorry, I know how that feels. My mom left me later with a cocaine dealer, an uncle?? I was there till 18. And thrown out. Everyone around me knew I wasn't loved. Loving others however was the light to my darkness. But it's never the same joy as one would have had in life. That's the work I think.
Blanket training is like training your kids to have learned helplessness. It’s so sick and against what’s natural. I think parents and especially mothers would only do this if they were angry and frustrated they have no power.
I was taught and told to spank. One child just got angrier. The other child became emotionally hurt. Ens result for both was distrust and loss of relationship. So I stopped and vowed no more. Behavior modification had to happen more creatively and naturally than me spanking. Growing up it did work for me... I absolutely feared being spanked and became a very compliant person. I still don't even know my own opinions on many things.
Right and the one Bible scripture it receives is a consenting adult committing adultery … and one of the books in the apocrypha talks about ANY harm a man does to an innocent is punishable by death…probably why they removed it from our bibles ….
My grandma had eight during the same time period. She'd sometimes have the older ones babysit the younger ones but I haven't heard about any actual parentifyng behaviors.
My father, an Evangelical pastor, said the same thing. The cult I used to be in said the same thing. So many stories to tell... it was hell... cruelty and abuse rampant.
Unfortunately, a "smaller dose" of this creepy behavior by men is part of secular society, too. I grew up in Bavaria with the idea that I shouldn't wear skirts that are too short and should avoid certain areas at night. Else something would likely happen to me. Me and many of my female friends fake being in phone calls and stuff when we walk alone at night. We finally need to normalize the fact that if someone is SAd, it's entirely the perpetrator's fault across all groups of society; no matter what the victim wore etc.
She is articulate, intelligent, and lovely. Oceana is a name that really suits her, too: there's a very clear depth and resilience to her and I hope she continues healing and growing stronger every day.
The more videos yall put out around IBLP and IFB the more similarities I see with Southern Baptist. Especially as crochet was called out and I to this day crochet obsessively to deal with anxiety. Wish I could go to Costa Rico with yall! It sounds like it is going to be healing and FUN
Hello, being sick is not a sin. Mental health and addiction issues are biochemical illnesses. Having these issues is the same as any other medical condition.
My mom resisted my oldest sister going to therapy, bc it meant to her that she was a bad mom. Eventually my sister fought to get therapy, as a csa survivor. She paved the way for me to get help at age 17 with my ED. My mom initiated the help i received, so I'm very lucky to get the help i did, when i did. Thank you for sharing about the cult you belonged to and how you survived.❤So much wisdom that you shared.
I was forced to go to three different IBLP schools growing up. I was sexually abused by THREE different WOMEN in those environments! It's taken years of therapy to work through my abuse.
Shalise, you are beautiful and glowing! Oceana, I love you name and I'm just so sorry for what you've been through. You are part of the change that's happening and I just want to say _Thank You_ for speaking out!! CtoC ~ thank you again for this channel and all the ways it's helping educate people and help survivors heal!❤
I am a SURVIVOR from LDS and was baptized in Palmyra NY my hometown. Home of Joseph Smith founder of the Mormon Faith. I was abused by my Grandfather as were all my cousins. Today I am a retired THERAPUTIC FOSTER PARENT. I DID ADOPTED 20 OF THE CHILDREN PLACED IN MY CARE. IT WASENT EASY AND FAR FROM ANYONE COULD HAVE PREPARED ME TO FACE! NOW I AM BLESSED WITH 48 GRANDBLESSINGS. I LOVE THEM ALL. ❤️ TODAY I AM PERMENTLY DISABLED BECAUSE OF MANY AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES. MACULAR DEGENERATION WILL LEAD TO ME BEING BLIND. MY GRANDMA NELLIE HAD THE SAME DISEASE THAT MADE HER GO BLIND. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE A BLENDED FAMILY WITH ONLY LOVE IN OUR HEARTS!
Would you consider removing the number from the title/thumbnail? Media guidelines from ED experts advise against prominently displaying "numbers" like weight or BMI when promoting content. If you're going to use trigger warnings, then disclosing an ED sufferer's weight should come after the warning rather than before.
@@tananario23 ED organisation public education materials: National Eating Disorders Collaboration with Everymind (2021) Guidelines on reporting and portrayal of eating disorders Eating Disorders Awareness Week (2023) Eating Disorders: Responsible Media Guide Beat Eating Disorders UK (2020) Media Guidelines for Reporting on Eating Disorders National Eating Disorders Association: Tips for Responsible Media Coverage National Initiative for Eating Disorders (2020) Speaking About Your Lived Experience in a Public Setting BodyWhys: The Eating Disorders Association of Ireland (2024) Media Guidelines Academic articles: Fardouly, J., & Vartanian, L. R. (2016). Social media and body image concerns: Current research and future directions. Current Opinion in Psychology, 9, 1-5. Hogue JV, Mills JS. The effects of active social media engagement with peers on body image in young women. Body Image. 2019 Mar;28:1-5. doi: 10.1016/j.bodyim.2018.11.002. Epub 2018 Nov 12. PMID: 30439560. Hope that helps!
@@tananario23 ED organisation guidelines: • National Eating Disorders Collaboration with Everymind (2021) Guidelines on reporting and portrayal of eating disorders • Eating Disorders Awareness Week Canada, supported by Body Brave, Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association, Eating Disorders Nova Scotia, Eating Disorder Support Network of Alberta, Jessie's Legacy Eating Disorders Prevention + Awareness, National Eating Disorder Information Centre, National Initiative for Eating Disorders, Sheena's Place Support for Eating Disorders, Waterloo-Wellington Eating Disorders Coalition, and Vancouver Island Voices for Eating disorders (2023) Eating Disorders: Responsible Media Guide • BodyWhys: The Eating Disorders Association of Ireland Media Guidelines • Beat Eating Disorders UK: Media Guidelines for Reporting on Eating Disorders • National Eating Disorders Association USA: Guidelines for Media or Sharing Your Story • National Initiative for Eating Disorders CA (2020) Speaking About Your Lived Experience in a Public Setting Academic publications: • Fardouly, J., & Vartanian, L. R. (2016). Social media and body image concerns: Current research and future directions. Current Opinion in Psychology, 9, 1-5. doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2015.09.005 • Hogue JV, Mills JS. The effects of active social media engagement with peers on body image in young women. Body Image. 2019 Mar;28:1-5. doi: 10.1016/j.bodyim.2018.11.002. Epub 2018 Nov 12. PMID: 30439560. Hope that helps!
20:04 my mom was a wooden spoon spanker 😢 it didn’t happen often but it happened enough. Usually I was spanked for being caught lying, which in hindsight, it didn’t make me stop lying. It just made me better at it
I admit I tried the spoon once as the willful defiance was was so BAD!!!!! I have what Dr. Sears calls a High Needs Child and after that I apologized and vowed to find a better way…and to understand my child better… And had I not been educated and taught how to research and that there is always an answers and often a better way…I might have to just continued with that… I’m so glad I didn’t but the conversations and apologies after in life were and are key to the good relationships we have now
@@raigenhuss7030 BTW that almost 12 years ago!!!! So yeah…the main point is we have to share our failures and admit our wrongs in order to help others! I love teachings like Positive Parenting Solutions …
I can see that she loves and respects her parents, by making the excuse that the dad was stressed and overwhelmed with all the kids and the burden of financial responsibility. I was there too, I was not in a cult, but I am number 9 of 10, my dad was the only earner. He was emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive to my mom and older siblings. I made the same excuses for him. When I tried to speak out against his behavior, I was bullied by my siblings. I never had the space to speak against him until I married and was able to speak to my husband about it. Luckily, I was drawn to the complete opposite of my father. Now that my dad has passed, I still feel guilty speaking negatively about him.
@@dancingnature my father never physically assaulted me. He was verbally abusive, mostly to my mom. He was not affectionate. He worked long hours and non stop. Because of this, I excused his anger by saying he was stressed and overworked. He was a good provider, and in our culture, and at that time, decades ago, that was enough. Now I see that it was not. But, no I was never assaulted.
Let me re-phrase your mum's statement: "Had the lustful old men tried to be a little bit more godly, you wouldn't have had the eating disorder." ! I am SOOOOO sorry you had this victim-blaming from your father. I know how this staring feels, because I was very pretty & attractive as a little girl and felt for MANY, MANY YEARS highly embarrassed, unsettled and unsure.
Thank you for your channel and guests. I am a very religious woman, but I am also committed to making sure my children are not blamed, shamed, or pressured to be something they are not. The religion should help us love each other, not control each other.
It just hit me how similar my upbringing experience was to i think there are massive similarities. I left that country at 19 (39 now) moved to UK, very liberal (then😂) and open-minded community. The societal difference and way of life couldn't be more opposite. I wonder if anyone from the eastern european block feels the same? Communism, Catholicism, Cults, potato, potato. All the same really 😂
Oceania is a strong woman and very beautiful young lady. Thanks for speaking up about your story, there's so many parallels to so many different issues. I wish you all the health and happiness you deserve❤❤ how to suffer from an ed. It's horrendous and I hope things get better I have cut off all communication with my dad's side of the family and my sister's do not want to talk to me at all I would totally love to hear more from Oceania you must have her back
I was encouraged to blanket train with my children when they were young. I had read to train up a child and thought it was awful. But the point of blanket training was to get the child to stay on the blanket and the blanket could be taken and used anywhere. Thank goodemess I never tried it.
*Oceana* THANK YOU FOR COMING ON!!! You are representing SO many voices of oppression and we ALL thank you for your courage and strength! 🖤 Can’t wait for the next video, you have a depth and clarity to your thoughts and emotions that I really enjoy hearing about. Reclaiming yourself is beautiful!!! It’s very ironic that they warned your parents about the “middle child syndrome’ that occurs, yet the church still turns a blind eye to the skyrocketing statistics that follow their disgusting abuse. ☕️ 🐸 yikes. I would also love to hear from any siblings as well if possible, exploring an upbringing like Oceana’s within this cult and emphasizing the MANY layers of abuse that are still very much present is really important! Also, exploring the dynamic of siblings within a family and the way things resonate differently amongst them is always so interesting! Much love and support as always!!!🖤
My heart goes out to all of these young people. I will say my takeaway is that the parents in these kinds of groups have abdicated their power so much that to acknowledge a problem with their children is to accept they have failed in some way. I get the sense that that was too great of a pain to bare so instead they blame the children and ignore the warning signs. Sucks. It’s a miracle these children make it through their childhood. But that speaks to the power of the human spirit.
I will say, I had a lot of those Awareness of Creepy Men experiences in the secular world, just being intensely empathic, and walking everywhere I would go, from age 12 on, in a town where most people drove cars everywhere. I also got harassed on public transportation as well. BART (subway) stations, trains, and I very quickly learned to avoid buses, bc there’s nowhere to escape to; the options are only be harassed, or get off at the wrong stop and be stranded - and cell phones weren’t really a thing til I was 19, which is also when I belatedly got my drivers license. I tried to do without a car whenever I could but it was definitely a difficult trade off. I just don’t want non-culty men to get a pass, bc SO many of them were really gross and scary. (I hate that I feel the need to clarify further, that although I was tall for my age, I dressed modestly specifically in an effort to reduce the amount of attention on me. It didn’t work though) I do think it’s probably even worse in culty communities though, and I definitely don’t want to minimize that. No girl deserves to have to be so “on guard” out in the world, as though we owe men our attention, awareness, and caution.
I agree with this, things happened to me and I wasn't in any kind of cult. And I don't think it's a bad idea for young girls to be aware of the creepiness of some men. There are some men who are just nice and aren't being creepy. Everyone is different but I still think young girls should still be made aware of these things because that's how grooming starts, from a friendly man whether it's a known one or a stranger.
So sad...twisting the Bible to support control & abuse...what about the proverbs 31 woman? A business woman and manager. What about Paul's injunction that husbands love and sacrifice their own desires for their wife? Did they cut those portions out?
i feel as if i need to do a deep dive on my own religious cultish life one day. this is a very intense video.. well done and thank you for the light you shine on cults and abuse
Your friend has witnessed this too? I have to admit that I was skeptical about that. I'm quite certain it is not accessible at my local public library as there are related subjects that I have not been able to search.
I am gen x and I do not and have not spanked my children. I was absolutely beaten as a child. Whatever they could reach is what they hit me with. Oceana is a beautiful lady. She’s so caring and loving. I wish her happiness, peace and lots of love.
Thank you again for going through this testimony of your childhood. I hope and pray those still in it come across this video and have their eyes opened!!
I personally think a lot of people spank out of desperation. I think when you have 12 kids, you are desperate and will do anything to make your life easier. And that’s why so many of these giant families spank. I have 2 kids and I didn’t spank. But if I was completely overwhelmed with 12 kids, I could understand the logic in a desperate brain to do anything to keep your chaotic life in check. I’m not saying it’s ok. It’s not. But I think these giant families make spanking seem like a good way to make your chaotic life better.
It’s a way for adults choosing to have babies to take out their frustrations on their children without having to actually put in any effort. They want to scare their children into submission rather than finding the root of their challenges. The adults are the ones making the choice to have schools full of children then making them face the consequences.
I'm fascinated by cults, even though I've never been part of one, I seem to relate to much of what cult victims go through and I've realised it's because I was part of a cult, my family was very cult like with a controlling misogynistic narcissistic father at the head of the hierarchy, my codependent mother was his accomplice and personal assistant, reinforcing all of his arbitrary rules, claiming she had no choice. I especially relate to the blaming and shaming, whenever something bad happened to me, it was always my own fault because of something I did wrong.
Wow can I relate to your life! Although your experiences were much more extreme. 1) My grandmother started raising her younger brother when she was 7. She was also SA by her father, brothers and uncles. 2) I was raised that it was my fault for dressing s@xy that men noticed me. Which is funny because none of the guys my age were interested in me. I graduated high school at 100 lbs. I'm 5'8". I was 30 before I needed more than a training bra. 3) My mother thought it was funny that I "bantered" in a s@xual way with her coworkers who were her age and older. You'll understand that it was super creepy when she had that specific reaction to me and a friend of hers talking recently. 4) I'm 55 and I'm just now allowing myself to be who I am. I wanted to be an artist. I was more than shot down on that one. So my whole life has been trying to pick from a list of "not really what I want". And that includings s@xuality and identity. For years parts of my family "knew" I was attracted to women. I didn't know that. Not really. I'd rather be alone than in a relationship that is toxic. So I've been alone most of my life. You can choose to not follow in the footsteps of your parents from a much younger age. What a blessing! Be proud that you have come to this self awareness as young as you are. It took being disabled and wondering if I have any life left, really, for me to understand these things. We have really come a long way in so many ways. My mother was progressive for her age. I moved forward from my upbringing. I was the best parent I knew how to be. Not perfect, but consciously better. Doing the best we know how to be is all we can be expected to do. There is a Wiccan (witchcraft) saying "If it harm none, do what you will." Include yourself in that saying. Live by that and how can you go wrong?
I have to say i am blessed to be "ugly" because a life of men oggling you sounds like a living nightmare. I was also homeschooled and used all those books but my parents didnt really jive with the to bring up a child. We were spanked so seldom that i can probably count them on one hand. And my mom was pretty progressive so while she did submit to my dad's will, he basically just agreed with whatever she asked because they knew eachother so well they didnt ask something they knew the other would be ok with. It was a very healthy houshold. And our homeschooling was very successful. But i saw a LOT of brain washing going on with the other kids in the big homeschool group we were in. We even had a family with two healthy happy kids who we learned from the news were hiding 3 abused, neglected starving special needs kids. They had murdered one of them. We had no clue the three other kids existed. Some of the families were definetly in the quiver full nine million children movement. Very very culty.
This makes me sooo sad. I'm a serious Christian - no denomination. I'm not perfect in any way. I have cut myself from all "Cultural Christian beliefs". I follow Jesus. I so wish I could speak to so many of your guests.The things you, myself and all your guests have gone through grieves The Holy Spirit immensely......
I'm the same, the 'man' in my church growing up is STILL there! After 30 years of scilence I spoke up for myself and for any other little girls who maybe would have followed....he's still there!!!!! Like I don't even know why I bothered to open mouth, yes he can be forgiven, but the fact that he's still there makes me sick!!
As a mom of a daughter if I find men looking at my daughter in a suggestive way they will regret it as I have no problem calling them out publicly. Now the library porn thing I find odd having worked in libraries for years. To log on to our library computers or even the WiFi you have to agree to rules. I even had a couple times where I had to report people for looking at porn and one got banned from our library system for about 6 months.
I'm pretty sure it was easier to access when the internet was newer...and I imagine some libraries got on top of it before others did. But it's certainly something I've heard of happening. I mean, you wouldn't have to agree to rules if it wasn't possible to break them.
I believe Josh Duggar would’ve been a predator regardless of how he was born. I think that brothers molest sisters because they don’t have a pathway for normal behaviors. The other reason for brothers to molest sisters may be due to the hierarchy that this teaching presents. It presents men over the women so that is what the boys may do to their sisters. It almost gives them permission especially because they will blame it on the women anyways. Thank you for sharing your amazing story with us.
You are not sinners for the way your body’s presented, covered or uncovered. If a person (man or woman) lusts for a child they are very sick because that’s not normal coding for most people. But also if a man or woman admires how a woman looks when she is grown, it can be a good thing. That’s not a sin.
Hi Oceana(that's such a beautiful name, I've never heard it.) Concerning your ED(I'm currently fighting mine.) I was wondering if you being over sexualized played a part in it. You're obviously very beautiful, and I was wondering if your ED was fueled by possibly making yourself unattractive to others. I know that sounds weird, but EDs can be very ugly things, and when we're deep in them, we definitely don't look good(our health looks terrible, we're too thin, hair can start looking bad/fall out etc ). Anyway, I'm so happy for you, and hope you are able to find peace and fully recover one day. I can tell you're very strong and intelligent, you've got this.
Her experience of men perving has little do with her religion, just the world in general. Unfortunately women outside religion also gets blamed and accused.
I was a child that acted WAY WORSE if spanking was on the table. My mom tried it once and (wisely) realized it was a lost cause with me. But when she just supported me and explained the natural consequences of my actions (ie- I hit someone at the park, we then head home and I go in time out), I never acted badly and became very aware of my actions. I was never going to NOT challenge the status quo and ask questions- that’s just who I was always going to be. And I became a good manager and member of my college’s student government because of that. Not everyone CAN be submissive and that’s okay 😊
Yes. The fact that Oceana (great name, good choice), the fact that you're really unusually attractive, and in this twisted, repressive cult, that is such a recipe for disaster. Not being taught about natural human sexuality, and how that affects and impacts your life. It's so sad to hear that this happened to you. I'm so sorry.
So they had a dominion theology then. We had that in the New Apostolic Reformation, but it was never really effective. It was definitely not Biblical either.
Just now watching this episode. I would imagine that the very large families also mean that boys and girls are sharing bedrooms and that would be another contributing factor in the prevalence of CSA. Not to excuse it as it is always wrong. The culture of cults is like the perfect storm that leads to predatory behavior.
Hey this cult used to be in my area in a suburb of Chicago. There was a big controversy when they moved in the area because so many we’re trying to buy up the property in the area. Lots of people thought they were trying to buy the town. I think they did buy a lot of the property but not as much as they liked. It was a thing in the paper. They had a huge building. That said The Institute of Basic Life Principles. And some smaller buildings on the other side of the road a little father down. That looked like track houses with car ports. I remember seeing girls in prairie dresses walking around a pond. There were usually lights on in the huge building. But never cars. The rumor was they parked in a garage under the building. A had a friend who had one of the girls babysit her as a child. And I remember they had a huge gathering where lots of teens were outside playing volleyball ball. It was rumored that the Dugger who was molesting his sisters was staying there at one point getting “therapy” because the track houses had lights and cars often and I guess on the Duggar show his wife said they were flying to Chicago to see him. I think it was the first time the info came out. Now, the building is still there. Occasionally a light was on. I think the last time I drove by the letters were taken down on the outside. Still rarely a car there. At the track housing you rarely see a light or a car. I think it is abandoned. You also very rarely see girls in prairie dresses. I can’t remember the last time I saw one. I heard they moved South and out of state. I think they also changed their name. It is interesting to hear this woman talk.
I still can’t believe that blanket training is a thing. Thankfully my parents didn’t practice this. My idea of this (and I would never call it blanket training) is to give them certain toys and let them know they need to stay on the blanket. If they leave or go too far, take them back and stay with them for a bit until they’re ready to start over. I don’t have kids and I’ve never done this, but I feel like my version would just be good for getting housework done. A freer version of sitting then in a crib while waiting for mom to get back. As for spankings, I feel like I got spanked every day and my parents used a metal fly swatter. One day if I do have kids, I don’t want to spank, I want to gentle parent, stick to the rules I create, be reasonable, but be loving through it all. Also, I never want to tell my future children that their punishment hurts me more than it hurts them. That’s the biggest lie I have ever heard!
Oceans and Shelise I was told that by a church member in a Apostolic church and it literally destroyed my health and now I am going to therapy and psychiatric help because without it I am not able to handle the pain of my past
I am always so amazed at how one evil person can twist scripture and create so much harm … and the gothard teachings I now know why other peoples parents did the horrible things to them like spanking at 6 months :( I’m so grateful to my mom being just a simple mom, not rich, not really educated, all she wanted was to be a mom and love her babies… And now I have to find new terms so I don’t get linked in with these repressive cults…training a child is good, abusing a child is bad…sigh.
