Surviving One Toxic Relationship After Another 

Been through that horrible kind of shit too! Took me 20 years and numerous trys to finally get out. We were teenagers when we got together. First child at 18, she is 21 now and doing very well. 4 children together. 2 girls born first, and 2 boys...the youngest. My 16 year old daughter is down syndrome, she is happy and healthy and so sweet! Having a disabled child didn't even deter him. My girls never should have had to see their dad hurting their mom. Children never should have to feel afraid like that! Makes me so angry thinking back on it all. I wish I had acted faster, but if I had, I would not have my son's. I paid a high price trying so hard to keep our family together, thinking I could change things. That my love and loyalty would change him. I found out i was pregnant with my youngest, 2 weeks after my husband was arrested for domestic violence, (one time out of many,) and i had already decided i was done with him forever and there was no going back. He is 2 now! I did it by myself, with my oldest daughters' help, and my older boy, who btw was 9 when this happened. He was the one that saved me that night... Snuck out and went to the neighbors for help and they called the cops. He is my little hero! I made it through even though he planned to kill me that night. He vowed I would never see another sunrise. Right before the cops pounded on the front door, he was telling me I was gonna get knocked out, and he was going to slit my throat. He would have killed 2 people. He didn't know i was pregnant yet and neither did I, but that doesn't matter. Should have never happened. I literally thought he was suffering from mental problems or something until the next morning after he had been arrested and I found a little knot of meth in a bag on my living room table, next to the alcohol he had been drinking. Didn't want to get caught with that in his pocket, apparently! For 4 months leading up to it, I thought he was going through some crisis, schizophrenia maybe, cuz he was hearing things and convinced that there were people hiding in our attic... And that's not even the half of it! But yeah, my oldest daughter kept telling me, " Mom, he is on drugs!" He even dropped like 15 lbs too! He hadn't done anything violent in like 9 years too! Thought he was a truly changed man! I believed in him. I trusted in him. I was not afraid of him anymore! Turns out i was wrong. Abusers never stop, they might take a break, but it never ends. Its messy and difficult and complicated when you fall in love with this kind of person. By the time they show their true colors, it feels like its too late. (But its not!) Living together and pregnant. They can be the greatest, the kindest, respectful and helpfull... Your best friend and your lover, father to your children! But on the flip side could be the darkest, most evil souless individual i had ever met in my entire life, or ever even heard of. My worst enemy. Its a real long story. Really should write a book about it someday. It could help give someone else the strength they need to move on. No women, no children, no animal, nobody period should be put through cruelty and violence and hatred! No one gets to control your life, but you! I really like to say these days, that i am the captain of my ship now and i answer ro no one, but my babies! As it should be! And how it will stay! To anyone that may read this: if i got out, you can get out! You deserve it! Its the first step to loving yourself and your babies will see your strength and you will be their rock. You will be all they need. You will make it through. Hesitate no longer. Free yourself. Live again! 🙏❤✌️🦚 🌄👑

This hits close to home, as I too have had a series of toxic relationship and exhibited toxic behaviors! Just like you, after that first physically abusive relationship, as long as my partners weren’t hitting me, I thought I had won a prize. Congratulations on all of your healing and success ❤❤❤

Longing our fathers true love will always make you do horrible things to ourselves 😢

Thank you for sharing your story ❤

Get ready to be on the best sellers list big sis

You are brave and courageous! May God continue to bless you.

Your such a strong women! So sorry you went through that! Bless you for your courage! ❤

I'm so glad your daughter realized something was wrong and you are here to tell your own story! ❤

1 word AMEN..kids mimic what they see and what they are around...we have so much in common it's crazy...

Glad that you came out stronger 💪🏾🙌🏿❤️

Sad story. It amazes me though, when the so-called "sheltered" women who come from church going households, end up in such wildly violent situations.

I really enjoyed your story.

Wow! So Powerful!!

AMEN. GOD BLESS YOU❤

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Ppl say I should tell my story

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❤U

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17:16 what is the o-word??

I'm sorry but why would he jump out the car 😭😭 ???

Are you speaking on someone I know I really don't believe this about him😢😢

Were you having an affair with your second husband while you were married to your first husband.

Do you believe you draw that kind of energy?

Males.

Birth control..why doesnt the community push this😮

I'm very sorry for everything that you've been through. But nothing good came out of Abrahamic religions (Judaism,Christianity,Islam) and nothing will. Please find some other way of looking at life to sustain yourself spritually. Sending you much love from 🇹🇷.

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